


Before the lights go down

by niamcuddles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Liam, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Bonding, Fluff and Smut, Knotting, M/M, Mpreg, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Office Sex, Omega Niall, also possibly a little bit sugar baby niall, etc - Freeform, honestly i am not sure yet where this is going, i plan to make it very smutty as a warning, liam is very dominant in this fic, like my last ABO fic this is my own take on it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:42:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 329,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22992655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niamcuddles/pseuds/niamcuddles
Summary: Niall's failing at everything in life right now - at paying his rent, keeping a job and pursuing his dreams of becoming a musician. After living on his best friends' couch for a month, he's desperate to find a job and get back on his feet. When he finally does though, things just turn out even more complicated than he could have ever imagined, and too many of his problems seem to be related to his boss, Liam Payne.(Omega Niall is an intern at Liam's publishing firm, in a modern world where Alphas, Betas and Omegas are considered equal.)
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Liam Payne
Comments: 593
Kudos: 515





	1. Chapter 1

_“Um, hi, it’s me… “ Niall cleared his throat, not really knowing where to start or what he was even planning on saying because he had honestly never thought he’d be in that kinda situation. Ever._

_“I know, it says your name on the display.” Harry laughed and Niall would’ve found it funny but he didn’t even feel real right now, this didn’t even feel like his life, or his body. “What’s up?”_

_“Uh… “ Niall could hear one of Harry’s kids in the background, and Louis, and he was probably disturbing their bedtime routine by calling so late in the evening, but he hadn’t had a choice, hadn’t exactly planned any of this. The thought of Harry and his family being at home, safe and without their lives in shatters, almost made Niall cry. “I kinda… I-“_

_“One second.” His friend interrupted to say something to Louis in the background while Niall fought back his tears, almost about to choke on them. “Sorry. What did you say?”_

_“Uh, I- I, just… you know how my roommate and I got in a fight and I- my gig got cancelled and- and I couldn’t- he kicked me out.” He finally brought out, his cheeks immediately filling with blood of embarrassment upon having to admit it, say it oud loud, because it made it even more real. Not like standing at the bus stop with all his belongings in the middle of the night in the rain hadn’t made it real enough already._

_“Oh, wait- what?! Where are you now? Do you need me to pick you up? You can stay with us, I’ll come and get you, okay?” There was relief spreading through Niall upon hearing this, having Harry offering so quickly and unbothered, as if he was already on the way to his car._

_And for a moment, it all felt a little bit better, a little less dramatic, and Niall managed to hold back those tears until he was lying on Harry’s and Louis’ couch in the darkness at 2 in the morning._

\---------------------------

“Uncle Niall, are you gonna play with us? Pleeeease?” The little girl was making huge puppy eyes at Niall, and he would have loved to say yes, but if he didn’t finish this application, he probably never would.

“I’ll play with you when I’m done with this, okay?” He told Josie, the older one, and she put on a pouty face but accepted it anyways, stomping off to her bedroom with her little sister tagging along like a puppy. 

“How’s it going? Do you need any help?” Louis asked from across the room, sorting out some cupboard in the living room and Niall knew that neither him nor Harry would have ever kicked him out, but he still couldn’t help but imagine what kinda conversations they were having about him whenever they were alone. 

After all, it had been a full month of Niall living on their damn couch, around 5 job interviews he had messed up, and probably 20 applications he had sent. 

Niall did try to help as much as he could, he cooked for everyone a lot of the time (not with his own groceries, but… ), he helped clean, he babysat the kids, and did their laundry and well, he was basically their maid and nanny, if he put it that way. But he still felt pathetic about it, and quite awful and useless nevertheless.

Also didn’t help that he wasn’t getting anymore gigs lately because he literally never had the time and he would have felt guilty focusing on his music now when he was living off of his friends with his own bank balance of 24,34 £. 

“Alright, I think… but I always think that.” Niall tried to joke, but he honestly didn’t really feel like laughing right now and the sympathetic look Louis threw at him from across the room wasn’t really helping with that. 

“Tell me if you need any help, okay?” Louis offered again and Niall thanked him, on the very edge of getting demotivated yet again.

They both worked in silence for a while, Niall was just typing away and then deleting everything and Louis was cleaning and throwing out stuff, the girls’ voices faintly coming from the other room as they were playing. Harry was out somewhere, a meeting with his publisher or something, Niall hadn’t really been listening before he had left.

Harry was an author, not a famous one, but enough to actually make some money from it, and he also had his yoga classes that he was teaching, and a million different hobbies and people he knew and basically, he could decide what to do with his time, and when. Louis was a high school teacher, he didn’t have the same flexibility, but their jobs and lifestyles seemed to work out perfectly together, also with the kids and everything and… yeah, they weren’t rich or anything, but they had a decently sized apartment, and they had each other, they had semi-normal relationships with their parents, they had sweet children and, in short, it seemed like the perfect life to Niall.

The life he’d probably never have, probably also wasn’t suited to have, maybe didn’t even _wanna_ have, but it still seemed a lot better than being both jobless AND homeless. He just counted himself lucky that he still had space in his friends’ life as well, although, he kinda knew he would never have to worry about that. They had always been his friends, since they had been teenagers, and now they kinda were his life-saviors as well. 

“Hey, did you ever call back your mother?” Louis asked randomly at some point and Niall threw a quick look past his laptop screen to where his friend was clearly stuck between throwing away some old board games or keeping them. The kinda problems Niall longed to have as well.

“Um, no.” Niall told him honestly after a moment, feeling just a tad uncomfortable. “I had nothing to say.”

“Maybe she did.” Probably.

“She could’ve texted me, if it had been important she would’ve.” Also, Niall couldn’t tell her he was living on his friends’ couch after losing his shitty paying job and getting no gigs and not being able to pay the rent two months in a row. His roommate had given him a fair amount of warnings, Niall wasn’t mad, he honestly just felt guilty for it all. “It’s already been an entire day, she probably forgot again.” 

“Are you gonna pick up the next time she calls?” Louis kept on pushing and Niall was annoyed but he couldn’t be because it wasn’t Louis fault and also, Niall pretty much owed him his entire life.

“Maybe. If I feel like it.” Now Niall sounded like a douche, but he had his reasons and Louis knew them. “I just… I’d rather wait. Until I’ve at least got a job and… just to have something to tell her.”

“It’ll work out soon, Nialler, I’ve got a good feeling about it.” Now Louis’ voice had gotten all nice and soft and Niall felt a little comforted but he also hated it a bit, because it made him feel incompetent. He WAS, but… it wasn’t a good feeling. 

“Maybe I should’ve just taken the job at-“

“No, trust me, you shouldn’t have, somebody else is gonna say yes. And it’ll be a job that doesn’t pay shit for all its shitty hours. Besides, they will always have an opening there because no one can stand to stay there for very long.” It had been the only people who had said yes to Niall, at this creepy bar where he would’ve had to work exclusively night shifts, and of course it wouldn’t have worked out anyways while he was living here, but Harry and Louis had also come up with different arguments as to why he should’ve said no. 

So he had, and it had kinda felt wrong to be picky in the situation he was in, but now Niall was a little glad in hindsight.

“I can still ask at my school about those guitar lessons and-“

“No, thanks, really, it’s fine, I- I’ll find something. I don’t know if I could teach guitar to kids.” And how embarrassing would it have been to have Louis get him this job and Niall failing at it?

“You taught Josie.” Louis argued, and Niall shrugged.

“One song. I don’t think she enjoyed it very much, I think she felt sorry for me.” Now Niall had to laugh at the memory. Josie was 6 years old, so she kinda understood what was going on with Niall, but not really, but in the beginning it had been obvious that she had been trying very hard to keep him company whenever. Clara was only 4, she was really just excited that Niall was here and if Harry and Louis would’ve let her, she would’ve slept in the living room with Niall every single night. 

“Josie is like that, but she loves you, Ni, you know that. We all do.” His smile was a bit cheeky, but it was obvious he meant it, and Niall felt a smile forming on his face as well, just for a bit. “It’ll be fine.”

“I hope so… “ Niall mumbled, trying to concentrate on this stupid application again. Well, it wasn’t stupid of course, but it made Niall feel pretty stupid because he was failing it at. It had been six years since he had been in school after all, and the only thing he was used to writing was lyrics for songs that no one wanted to hear. 

But his pity party was already over again, and he really needed to get this done.

Niall did send the application in the end, even with Clara coming to sit on his lap after a while, trying to type as well, and Josie wanting to unpack everything that Louis had put in the garbage bag already. Louis told him it was fine if he just played with the girls while he made dinner, and though Niall felt a bit bad at first, the girls were absolutely thrilled.

“I wanna be the horsie!” Clara decided the second they got in her sister’s room, and Niall was just happy that Josie decided not to throw a fuss right now. “I wish I had a real one.”

“They cost a lot of money and we don’t have any space, we will never have one, that’s what daddy said.” Josie shrugged, and Niall already had his mouth open to say something, but he had no time.

“But I want one.” Clara pouted, staring at the pink stuffed horse in her arms. “Or a unicorn. Or a dolphin. Or a hamster.”

“You have Belle.” Niall threw in, referring to their pretty old cat that Harry and Louis had had years. She was usually outside during the day, but sometimes he’d wake up to her almost suffocating him as she was sleeping on his face. That was his life now.

“Belle doesn’t like me. Look, she hurt me.” Clara held up her finger to show Niall the tiniest scratch. “She’s so mean.”

“You pulled on her tail, she doesn’t like that. And she only likes dad.” It was true, the cat seemed to be the cutest thing in the world when she was around Harry, but if anybody else wanted to touch her, it was pretty much a war declaration. “When I grow up, I’m gonna have a dog.”

“Me too! Can we have a dog together?!” Clara asked, all excited, and Niall saw the look on Josie’s face, trying to wordlessly beg her to just say yes, and she rolled her eyes a bit, but then she shrugged.

“Fine. But I get to be the dog today.” And with that, she grabbed her stuffed dog and Clara suddenly didn’t seem to like her horse very much anymore, but she stayed quiet. “Uncle Niall, can you be the bunny?”

“Obviously, that would’ve been my first pick.” Niall joked, but the girls seemed excited and pretty much, that had been his entire last month. That and a few internal breakdowns and failed job interviews.

They played for an hour, Niall was kinda tired but he tried not to let it show, although he was really relieved when Louis called them over and Harry was finally back home. Niall never watched them kiss on purpose, not because he was jealous or it made him feel lonely, but rather because it always reminded him that he was basically taking away his friends’ privacy by being here, all the time. 

Well, of course now they could go on dates all the time because Niall was here to watch the kids, but still.

“By the way, Ni.” Harry started when they had all sat down, and Clara had finally given up on her fight against the vegetables. “I’ve got you a job interview.”

“That’s- where?” At first, Niall was excited, then he was scared, and then, he was terrified. 

“My publisher’s firm. I’ve had this meeting today to discuss my new novel and- anyways, the guy I met with told me they were looking for somebody, and no one’s applied yet so I suggested you and he seemed pretty happy about it. You’d have to do an internship first, but it’s paid well and he said he’s pretty certain they’d give you a contract. You could just try it out, you’d still have to officially apply but you kinda already got the interview. If you want it.” Harry was making it sound appealing, and Louis looked happy about it too, so what choice did Niall have, really? It’s not like he had anything to do, and it was just an internship for now.

“Yeah, of course, that’s- thank you.” Niall meant it, but almost immediately, he could also feel his nerves acting up like crazy. So far he had only had bad news after interviews, except that one bar, and he was starting to get a little hopeless. 

“I’ll give you his email address later, and you can look at what they wrote about the internship.” That no one else had applied for, but honestly, Niall really couldn’t be picky anymore.

“Daddy, what’s an internship?” Josie asked after Niall had thanked Harry again, and Louis spent the rest of their dinner trying to answer all her many questions, and in the end, it somehow all came back to them negotiating how many Paw Patrol episodes they could squeeze in before bedtime.

Niall was a little nervous sending his application two hours later, but if he would have to use connections now to get a job then he would just have to suck it up, because these were desperate times.

\----------------------

“Hi, you must be Niall Horan?” Some man greeted Niall before Niall had had the chance to say anything to the receptionist upon entering the building, his heart almost jumping out of his chest. He had been here 15 minutes early, just pacing around outside, trying to calm his nerves. He couldn’t screw this up, he just couldn’t.

“Hi, I- yeah- yes, I’m Niall.” Niall shook the man’s hand rather nervously, almost forgetting to smile, kinda wanting to throw up.

“I’m Zayn Malik, we talked via email. Thanks for coming in on such short notice.” It didn’t look as if he was joking, so Niall tried to be serious as well. Not like he had had anything else to do.

“Of course, thank you for inviting me.” Niall had sent the email only two days ago, and now he was already here, after having gotten a no from the other place he had applied for the same day. So like… this was it, his last chance. At least it felt like it.

“We can go to the meeting room to talk, I’ll show you the different departments on the way.” He was smiling, and it sounded as if he genuinely considered offering Niall the internship and Niall felt a bit of hope growing inside of him.

The building was huge, and from what Niall had gathered, it was kind of a big publishing firm. He was pretty sure he had heard of it before, but probably only through Harry, not because he read so much. He had done his research last night though, the whole entire night, and had then had 2 coffees before coming here, so that wasn’t a great start, but at least he felt a bit prepared. 

“The internship is mostly an assistant job, we’re running low on staff, it’s not a secret. You’d work for different people, pretty much dip into everything a bit, which is pretty cool, I think. If it goes well you’ll get a long term contract.” Sounded promising, but Niall didn’t really wanna make himself any hopes.

Zayn kept talking while they were walking to the conference room, and Niall tried to listen and ask smart questions, but at the same time he was hoping not to forget whatever he had planned on saying, whatever he had googled on how to leave a good first impression. And mostly, he had tried to remember whatever he had done wrong in previous interviews.

“And this is the confer- Li- Mr. Payne?” Upon opening the door, it seemed Zayn was really surprised by a man sitting at the long table, with his laptop, and Niall’s brain immediately emptied. “Sorry, I was going to do the interview in here, but we’ll just go to-“

“No, do it here, I was planning on listening in.” Fuck, Niall was screwed, because THIS guy looked like his expectations were through the roof.

“You- okay, sure. Yeah.” Zayn seemed surprised, but he overplayed it well, motioning for Niall to enter and Niall wanted to punch himself in the face, trying to somehow overplay it all as well but probably failing miserably. 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Niall Horan.” He went over to the other man with a shaky smile and a stretched out hand, which was probably shaking too.

“Liam Payne.” Was all the man said, but he stood up to shake Niall’s hand, not the hint of a smile on his face. He was wearing a suit that looked like it had cost more than Niall had ever had at one point, but then again, he wasn’t very familiar with these kinda things. The man’s cologne was also very prominent in the room and he was easy on the eyes as well and Niall just KNEW he was an Alpha immediately. It wasn’t hard to guess. “Should we start then?”

Niall didn’t know which chair to choose, so he just chose a random one, and Zayn sat opposite him, with this Liam Payne guy at the head of the table now. No idea who he even was, or whether he was really just going to listen, but Niall already knew this would all end in a disaster.

“Alright then, Mr. Horan. First, I just wanted to ask you, how did you hear about this internship?” For a second, Niall was taken aback, because Zayn KNEW, because he knew Harry and they had literally written emails mentioning it, but then Niall got it.

This other man couldn’t know about this apparently, and Niall had no idea whether it would’ve been wise to mention Harry, but something told him no.

“A friend told me about it, I’m currently looking for a new job, so he thought I might be interested.” Niall explained, worriedly watching as the man at the head of the table reached over to take whatever papers Zayn had put on the table. Niall’s CV, sadly. 

“Do you have any experience in the field?” Zayn continued, and yeah, this was where it was going to go downhill.

“I don’t.” Niall admitted, for a moment having thought about lying, but his CV was literally RIGHT THERE, and this other man was furrowing his eyebrows reading it.

“Well, it’s not a requirement, so that is fine.” Zayn smiled, but Niall couldn’t even concentrate anymore. “So what-“

“Mr. Horan.” Liam Payne interrupted, and Zayn shut up immediately while Niall felt on the verge of tears. God, he was such an idiot, he couldn’t even stay calm during a stupid job interview that he knew he had already screwed up anyways. “It says here you dropped out of high school in 2010 and went back a year later and went on to graduate. What did you do in that year?”

“I th- I was working on my music.” Niall told him, his hands having started to sweat as he played with his fingers in his lap, the memory of that year not the most pleasant. The man just kept staring at him, so Niall continued. “I was writing songs and I- I had a few gigs.” 

“So that didn’t work out?” Liam asked, and Niall almost thought he was mocking him, but he remained completely serious and professional.

“I thought it’d be better to have a Plan B so I went back to school, I continued to work as a musician after that. Mostly on the side.” Up until a month ago pretty much, but there was no need to say that.

“Hm.” Was all Liam made, looking down again, probably trying to figure out whether Niall was lying straight to his face because he hadn’t put anything about his music on that CV. Liam made some hand movement, so Zayn continued asking Niall a few questions, up until Liam interrupted again. “Are these all the jobs you’ve worked over the past 9 years?”

“Um.” Niall gulped, not having been prepared for this question, but this man was looking at him so intensely that he didn’t dare to lie. Well, he did leave out one job, but that would’ve really… crossed too many lines, and he wanted an internship and not get arrested. “No, I also- I also worked as a babysitter, I used to help out at a car repair shop and I worked at a dog salon, but these were all just for a couple month-“

“May I just ask- what exactly does one do at a dog salon?” See, this was where Niall might have as well said goodbye.

“I- I washed the dogs.” Niall told him, because what else would he have said? Seriously?!

There was a lot of uncomfortable silence following that, nobody said anything, Liam looked down at Niall’s CV again, then at Niall, then at the clock over his head, and then he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Mr. Horan, I’m a bit lost here. Would you please explain to me how you went from musician, dog stylist, babysitter, working at a car repair shop, being a waiter in three different restaurants, as well as a cleaner in a hotel _and_ various other public places, a shop assistant, a cinema employee and working at a- … cemetery? To sitting right here applying for this internship?”

“I just- the cemetery was just watering the plants and keeping it tidy, I didn’t actually ever see any dead bod-“

“Okay, thank you for that explanation. But back to the question?” Liam kept pushing, and well, what was Niall going to say?

“I, um, I thought I’d like to try something new.” Was that a good answer? Probably fucking not.

“And you read the description of the internship? Do you know what we do here?” Okay, now did he think Niall was dumb?! Well, to be fair…

“Yes, it’s a publishing company, the internship is mostly an assistant job and you-“

“Okay, then you did your research, and you chose _us_. Now, why would we choose to give this internship to _you_?” Plain and simple, they shouldn’t, and everyone in this room knew it.

“I’m- I’m a quick learner. I do well with direction and I’m good at fitting in and doing my job, I don’t get distracted and I work well with others, but also by myself.” See, this was what Niall had memorized last night, and it probably showed. This Liam guy was reading him like an open book while Niall was wasting his time.

“Do you think if I gave you three book scripts to read right now that you could adequately judge whether they are worth my time or not?” Well…

“I, uh, I’m… I think so.” Niall lied.

And then Liam looked at him, with this ice cold look on his face, and he asked the one question Niall genuinely had not expected to be asked. Although he probably should’ve, because… this was a publishing firm. “What was the last book you read?”

“Mr. Payne, that’s a bit-“

Liam shushed Zayn with just one finger, and well, now they were all sitting here, enjoying Niall’s suffering. Or only this Liam guy was, but he was probably just annoyed right now. “It’s, uh, I- I, um- it’s like, it’s because, I, uh, I was, like- I was babysitting, so it was a children’s book, umm… do you- do you want me to tell you the title, or d-“

“I think I’m gonna use my imagination, thank you.” Well, Niall might have as well admitted he hadn’t read a normal book in probably 8 years. Not even Harry’s, which he knew the titles of, but he couldn’t have even lied because this Liam guy had probably read them too. Or he could’ve just looked up the plot of every book Niall could have lied about. “Are you familiar with any of the social media platforms we use?”

“Yes.” Finally something Niall didn’t have to lie about, but it probably didn’t even really matter anymore, but obviously he had to say even more and make it all worse. “I used them to promote my music, so I’m familiar with that.”

Liam just looked at him again while Niall wanted to punch himself in the face because… well, OBVIOUSLY he wasn’t doing a good job at promoting his music, was he? “Do you think your music is good enough to make it in the charts?”

“Uh, maybe, one day.” Was this even still relevant?!

“So you would describe yourself as musically gifted and as creative genius? Do you think you could outsell every artist that is popular right now?” Wait, what? Were they now at some singing competition show?

“Probably the first part, but I’m not a creative genius and I don’t think I could outsell-“

“Well this job right here is all about creativity, why would we hire somebody who doesn’t view themselves as creative or doesn’t think they are the best at what they do?” Wait, what about the genius part, Niall had never said he wasn’t creative or- “Anyways. What made you decide to leave your last job, the- what was it? The cemetery or the shop assistant?”

“Um, the shop assistant, I was, um, I was let go. But it was because they had to make budget cuts.” Well, who was going to believe Niall now?

There was more silence, then Liam just nodded, and suddenly, he stood up. “Well, thank you so much for coming in, Mr. Horan. Mr. Malik will contact you as soon as we have made a decision, have a good day.”

“Um, yeah, I- thank you, uh- you too.” Niall scrambled to get up as well, almost knocking over the chair as he hurried to shake the man’s hand, and then Zayn’s over the table, who had a really weird look on his face.

“You will find your way out?” Liam asked, and Niall simply agreed, quickly taking his bag and jacket before hurrying to leave the room.

He managed to wait until he was in the entrance hall before he started crying, so that was progress compared to his last job interview.

\---------------------------

“Who is next?” Liam asked, pushing this kid’s CV back over to Zayn while checking his emails.

“No one, he was the only one.” Zayn told him, shrugging when Liam threw a look at him. Was he kidding right now? “Li, seriously, who’d you think was gonna apply? Oxford graduates? It’s a badly paid internship, you could hire a high schooler to do it.”

“I might.” Seriously, Liam was trying really hard to contain himself right now, there were a thousand things going through his head, but he had learned to keep it together until it was appropriate to deal with them. “So, where’d you find this kid? Because there’s no way he simply thought of applying. And why’d you secretly wanna interview him behind my back?”

“Because I knew this was gonna happen, you’re so- intimidating. We could’ve had a nice chat, your questions were setting him up for failure, they were partly irrelevant and you kept cutting him off.” Zayn honestly sounded upset and Liam had to laugh, but not because he was so amused. “Fine, then let’s wait another month and see who applies. At least this Niall kid has some work ethic, I believed him when he said he’s a quick learner, he kinda has to be, with that many different jobs.”

“Where’d you find him?” Liam repeated his question, finally looking at Zayn this time, who just rolled his eyes, looking away.

“He’s a friend of one of our authors. Harry Styles.” Well, that explained a LOT. “I met with him yesterday to discuss his new novel and I mentioned the internship to him and he suggested Horan. They’re childhood friends or something, not that it matters.”

“Hmm… “ Liam made, leaning back in the chair, staring at the wall. “Did you convince him to scratch these boring passages where he’s describing these murals? I almost fell asleep.”

“He said they are essential to the rest of the plot, so I told him we’d talk about it again in a few weeks. But about Horan-“

“I never liked these page long passages of describing stuff that Styles always does. And his last novel had way too many love triangles, it was excruciating to-“

“You’re thinking of somebody else, Styles never writes love triangles. If any kind of love interests at all. You complained about that too.” Oh, right. “But back to Horan. I think we should give him a chance, it’s a bloody internship, it’s just a six week contract. No one else is gonna apply during that time, and even if someone did apply, we could use a second intern. We could even use three.”

Liam didn’t answer, he also wasn’t looking at Zayn, because he genuinely wanted to walk out of this room right now and scream. He remained calm though, intertwining his fingers on the table. “It’s going to make us look bad. We’ve always upheld some kinda standard, everyone who works here has _some_ kinda qualification, not dog stylists or cemetery whatever workers, it’s- he lost his job, and no one wants to hire him now because he’s already been everywhere. He probably lives on Styles’ couch-“

At this point, Zayn cleared his throat, so Liam knew he was right.

“-takes care of his ten cats or his children or whatever he has and- I don’t care to find out. I can’t do this, Z. I can’t.” He truly, honestly couldn’t. “I can’t just hire people because they’re friends with somebody else, it _will_ make us lose credibility.”

“You. This is about _you_. Just say it how it is.” Zayn was making fun of him, and Liam had to really give it his all as to not clench his fist.

“I’m the CEO, ultimately it all reflects bad on the firm.” What did Zayn even want? Niall Horan had ZERO qualifications. Zero.

“You didn’t even rub your title in Horan’s face.” Now Zayn was joking and Liam was about to implode.

“It says it on my damn name tag, Z. So we also don’t know if he cannot read or simply has no interest in doing so, great.” It was just getting better. 

“Liam, it’s an internship, not a-“

“Yeah, it is. A paid internship, because we NEED somebody to help out, not to uselessly stand around. If I hire Horan, I might as well hire anybody off of the streets, somebody who’d take the job if it paid half. Horan probably might as well. But that’s NOT what we do here, we don’t just hand out jobs because we might feel bad for people or because they know somebody else, we’re not a charity. This is a business, life is unfair, Horan has no qualifications, his CV is a mess, he had three spelling mistakes just in the-“

“Li-“

“-first part, he was clearly lying during the interview, he’s probably never read a book in his life and I- no. That’s my final decision. You might have to stay longer today because we’re not hiring an intern, so get back to work.” And with that Liam, packed his things, and he knew Zayn was upset, but he didn’t give two shits.

He had too much work to do to worry about this kid or Zayn or… anybody. Ridiculous, Liam hadn’t gotten life handed to him on a silver platter either, no one who was working here had, and he wouldn’t just hand anything to this random Horan guy either.

\-------------------------------

Niall didn’t really have a lot of time to have an emotional breakdown because he had to pick up Clara from pre-school in a bit, and also buy some stuff Harry had asked him to. He also always gave Niall money for it all, and Niall was starting to feel like their incompetent teenage son who would never be able to move out and stand on his own feet. And the worst part was, he was a few months older than Harry as well.

The thing was, when they had been teenagers, Niall had thought he and Harry might end up on the same path. They had had similar interests, similar grades, the same friend group, they were both Omegas, although Harry had never acted like that traditional picture some people were still painting of that term, and Niall wasn’t so sure about himself. When Harry had met Louis though, and they had bonded like not even 5 months after that, Niall had quickly come to realize that their futures held different things.

And when Harry had gotten pregnant on accident by age 19, and again on purpose two years after Josie had been born, he had still somehow managed to get a degree AND write a couple novels and maintain his hobbies as well as a whole relationship, love life and family life while Niall had been… failing, at everything, to put it bluntly. And he had also lost that one year where he had thought he’d become a famous singer and- well, so that hadn’t worked out.

Of course he was happy for his friends, that their lives were going so well, exactly after plan, that their kids were sweet, that they had the perfect relationship, they were bonded, they loved their jobs and whatnot, but it just made Niall see what he had already missed out on, and that he’d probably never be able to catch up and have that kinda life too.

And now he was 25, had 382910 jobs on his CV, no relationship, not even a HOME, and he also couldn’t even do well in a job interview. 

Niall wasn’t crying anymore in the store because he had decided that everyone had probably expected him to fail anyways. Harry had texted him asking how it had gone and Niall was still ignoring that message, but that was beside the point.

He kept the receipt after buying everything even though he knew Harry wouldn’t even look at it, but he was somehow paranoid that his friend would think Niall would steal from him. Not that he ever had or would, but it all just… it all just felt super weird. And Niall would soon be going insane, pretty sure.

Harry or Louis had informed both their daughter’s teachers that Niall would sometimes be picking them up from school, so now Niall at least didn’t have to feel like a creep just sitting there in Clara’s school, waiting for her to come find him like she always did. There were also the same mothers there like last time, probably bitching about Niall according to the glances they were throwing at him the entire time.

“Uncle Niall!” Seeing Clara’s happy face upon seeing that it was Niall who was picking her up from school was honestly the only good thing Niall could find about today. Or this entire week. 

“Hi, kiddo. Do you have all your things?” She was already dressed and everything, waving a piece of paper in front of Niall’s face.

“Yes! Look what I made! I made it all by myself.” The little girl told him proudly, beaming when Niall pretended to be really impressed by… well, whatever was on that paper.

“Wow, that’s so good! You’re going to become a painter for sure, I can already tell. Should we put it in your backpack so it won’t get dirty before we get home?” He suggested, and Clara nodded a few too many times, jumping up and down from excitement.

She watched Niall carefully putting the drawing in her bumblebee backpack before slinging it over his own shoulder, extending his arm so she’d know to take his hand when they were leaving the building.

“How was school? Did you have a lot of fun?” She LOVED pre-school, so that question ended in a waterfall of words and jumping from one topic to the next and Niall settled for just listening, acting surprised once a while, asking more questions to keep her going.

There was no need for them to go home immediately, Harry had told Niall that he wouldn’t at all be mad if Niall let Clara get out some energy after school, and get her a snack as well because dinner would be late today. Louis would pick up Josie later after work, so Niall decided he and Clara may as well have gone to the park so he wouldn’t have to think about this job interview for now.

He had at least texted Harry back before, telling him he thought it had gone alright but that he was prepared for everything, so now he was TERRIFIED of his phone going off, and though it made no sense at all, Niall had put it on silent. He just… he couldn’t deal with this right now, not when he was with a 4 year old in the park.

“I wanna go on the swings.” Clara told him when they had sat down on one of the benches at the playground and Niall was making her eat some of the snacks he had bought her before. Of course only what Harry had told him she liked, and though Niall knew he would never ask, he would’ve never dared to feed her anything else.

“In a bit okay? When you’re finished with that.” She seemed like she would protest, but she continued chewing, watching the other kids playing with big eyes. “Do you have any homework?”

“No.” The little girl shook her head a few times, her feet dangling over the bench as if she was about to jump up and run off any second. “Josie always has lots of homework, but I don’t. She said when I’m bigger I will. I wish I had homework too.”

“Well, maybe we can think of something ourselves when we get home, huh? Like last time?” Niall had just let her draw some numbers and letters, or attempt to, to keep her busy while he had been helping Josie with her homework. Or watched her more like.

“Yes! That was a lot of fun. I can’t wait when I’m older and then I can do homework every day.” Niall smiled at her excitement, but at the same time he wondered how long it would take for her to lose that positive attitude. “Uncle Niall?”

“Yes?” He asked, making sure to hand her some more grapes.

“Are you gonna stay with us forever now?” Clara had asked this before, but she had asked Louis and he had done an amazing job at explaining why Niall was living with them for now, but Niall suddenly couldn’t remember any of that because it was already 3 weeks in the past. And he was still here.

“No, it’s just for a little bit.” Niall told her, hoping she wouldn’t keep on asking, but of course the “Why?” and the sad face came on an instant. “I, um- you know how your daddies are going to work?”

“What?” Okay, wrong approach.

“I was living with- a friend, and we got into a fight and then I had to leave, so now I don’t have a place to sleep, so your daddies said I could stay with you guys for a bit. Until I find a place where I can live.” Niall was trying to use easy words, and he was also lying a bit because his roommate definitely was NOT his friend and it was his own fault he had had to leave. But Clara was 4.

“Oh. Are you still fighting with your friend?” She sounded very concerned about that and Niall had to take a breath.

“Um, he’s not my friend anymore.” He told her as to not make it more complicated.

“Oh… there was this girl in my class and I had a fight with her too and now we’re not friends. She’s stupid. ” One second-

“Clara, I don’t think you should call people stupid, okay? That’s not a nice word.” Niall tried to be firm, but he really wasn’t great at disciplining children. And Clara wasn’t HIS child after all, he wasn’t even either of the girl’s godfather. Not because Harry and Louis hadn’t asked, simply because… well, because of situations like the one he was in right now.

“Okay… sorry. But she is not nice. I hate her.” Now what was Niall supposed to say?

“That’s also not a very nice thing to say.” He tried, contemplating whether to tell Harry or Louis about this later, but… he had other problems.

Clara just shrugged, seemingly not sorry at all. “She broke my favorite pencil and then she threw all of my books in the garbage. And she didn’t even say sorry.”

Niall would have hated this girl as well, but obviously he couldn’t tell her that. “What did you say to her?”

“That I hate her. And then she cried.” Clara actually sounded proud of it and Niall just watched her eating the last grape for a moment, trying to think of something to say, but he just… he just never did. “Can I go play now?”

“Okay, but stay in my sight, alright?” The little girl barely had time to agree because she was in such a hurry to run over to the swings, only a few meters away from them.

Niall decided to think about whether to tell Harry and Louis about this once they were back home, and once he had heard back about this job interview. He did build up some courage and checked his phone once Clara had run off, but there was nothing on it, so Niall quickly put it away again so he could focus on not losing his best friends’ child on a playground at 11 in the morning.

\-----------------------

“… so did you hear anything?” Louis was the one who asked, much later, when the kids were already in bed and the three of them were watching some shitty movie in the living room. Niall would’ve felt like a third wheel, but he kinda lived in their living room on their couch so where would he have gone anyways?

“No, nothing.” Niall shrugged, and it wasn’t a lie. They had probably decided to just never call him and forget about him because he wasn’t worth their time. Niall would’ve understood.

“I’m sure you got it. Zayn said he doesn’t think anybody will apply, so if they really need someone… “ Harry was trying to make Niall feel better, but he was only making it worse in case Niall wouldn’t get the internship. Because it would be like… them deciding that having no help at all was still better than Niall. They were probably right. “I can ask him tomorrow, I have to call him anyways.”

“You really don’t have t-“

“Is it about your novel?” Louis cut Niall off, suddenly curious, and then they started talking about that and the conversation was over. At least the part where it involved Niall.

He honestly just wanted to sleep, but he couldn’t because he was worried and also because everyone was in here watching TV and anyways, it was only 9 or something. Niall had made dinner tonight and it hadn’t turned out great but everyone, including the kids, had lied about it though it had been obvious to see on their faces anyways. So Niall couldn’t even fucking make pasta anymore.

“Hey, um… “ Niall started after the other two had fallen into silence. “When I went to the park with Clara today… she told me about some girl in her class who dumped her books in the garbage and broke her pencils. And Clara called her stupid and she said that she hates her and that she made her cry by telling her that and- I mean, I told her those are not nice words to use, but I didn’t know what else to say. Just thought you guys should probably know.”

“Not this again… “ Harry sighed and Niall was confused, but he didn’t ask. “Probably the same girl as last time.”

“Well, if it was I can’t blame Clara, at least she’s standing up for herself, what that other girl did wasn’t right.” Louis shrugged, honestly sounding amused.

“They are 4 years old, Lou. I don’t want our kids calling other kids stupid and saying they hate them. What if she says that kinda stuff at school?” Okay, were they gonna fight over this? Because Niall suddenly needed the bathroom… 

“So you’re just worried a teacher will hear her say it? And not about her saying it?” Louis laughed, but judging by the look on Harry’s face, he was the only one amused.

“No. I don’t want her to say those things at all, _especially_ not at school, teaching other kids to say the same. I will talk to her.” Wait…

“And throw Niall under the bus?” Louis asked the question having formed in Niall’s head.

“No, I will just ask about school and her classmates, so she will tell me about it herself. And if she doesn’t you are welcome to try your luck.” Then Harry just shook his head, remaining quiet for a few seconds. “Well, I’m going to bed. Night, Nialler.”

“Uh, night… “ Great, had Niall just prompted a fight between them?

They were quiet for a minute or so after Harry had left and Niall wanted to say something, but then he didn’t, and Louis was quicker anyways. “Thanks for telling us.”

“Yeah, well… don’t know if it was the best idea.” Niall joked, but he was actually being serious. “I just… I would’ve said something to her, but I didn’t know what.”

“You don’t have to say anything, it’s not your job to discipline them, it’s ours.” Louis shrugged, seemingly not at all tired or worried. “Harry’s just been a bit stressed lately, that’s all. Probably his novel.”

“Yeah… “ How would Niall have known?

“How did your job interview go by the way? You didn’t say much about it.” NOW Louis looked very curious and Niall shrugged, clearing his throat a bit, trying to overplay his sudden nervousness. 

“It went okay, umm… it could’ve probably gone better.” Niall admitted, but he didn’t really feel like telling Louis the entirety of this tragedy right now. “There were two guys, uh, I think one of them was like... in a really high position? He wasn’t exactly thrilled that I’ve had so many different jobs, so… “

“Well, what would he have preferred? That you wouldn’t have had any jobs?” Louis sounded upset, but he was probably just trying to make Niall feel better.

“I think he would have preferred jobs that are not on cemeteries or in dog salons.” Then again… why did it matter? Those jobs had kinda paid well and Niall had actually enjoyed them.

“I thought you took them off of your CV?” Louis asked and Niall just shrugged because he didn’t wanna explain what had happened during the interview. “Anyway, what kinda stuck up guy is that? Like, who is he to judge other people’s jobs? Those are normal jobs and not better or worse than his. Also, I thought the internship explicitly stated it requires no experience?”

“That’s what it said.” Which… made all of this even more embarrassing. “I’ll just have to wait, I guess, I’ll send out more applications in the meantime, don’t worry.”

“Why would I worry?” Now Louis seemed confused and Niall felt his cheeks heating up a bit, so he kept his eyes glued to the screen.

“I mean… it’s been a month and… I know we all kind expected me to have something by now and it’s… I know you’re gonna deny it, but I know it’s an inconvenience for you guys and-“

“It’s really not, Ni. Seriously. You being here actually made things a lot easier, ‘cos you take care of the kids and pick them up or take them to school, you cook and you help clean and buy groceries, it’s- honestly, it’s like a vacation.” Louis was laughing saying it, and Niall was surprised but at the same time, his friend had sounded really serious, so maybe... “Trust me, it’s all good. I know Harry feels the same way, and the kids love having you here too. And we all know you’re trying your best, it just takes time, and that’s okay. We’re here for you, mate.”

“Thank you, really, that’s-“

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Let’s move on from this emotional stuff, yeah?” Louis petted Niall’s shoulder, not allowing him to finish and maybe Niall was a little happy over it because it would’ve just gotten embarrassing for the both of them anyways. “Mind if I change the channel? I need something with more action now after these kids movies.”

“Go ahead.” Niall handed the remote over, kinda feeling the same way.

They watched TV for another hour or so before Louis went to bed as well, leaving Niall alone on the couch. He did turn the TV off because even if he had the time to just watch movies all night and day, it would’ve made him feel even more pathetic than he already felt all the time now anyways.

It was always these moments, at night, when Niall was suddenly alone and it was quiet and everyone was sleeping and he couldn’t because his mind was going wild and he had too many things to constantly be anxious about. It was crazy really, because Niall was hardly ever nervous doing a gig at a bar or singing and playing the guitar in front of people, but normal talking during a job interview… he just couldn’t do it.

Another hour passed of Niall googling job offers that he could have possibly gotten and would have to apply for tomorrow because surely, he wouldn’t get this internship, like… there was no way, right?

It was midnight by the time Niall thought about going to sleep because he’d be up the moment one of the girls came in here in the morning. He did watch some video on Youtube before that though, and then another because he was stuck in a cycle, and Niall wasn’t even watching the time anymore when he suddenly got a call.

A CALL, at 00:30 at night?!

He almost froze, just staring at his phone silently going off, an unknown number on his screen, and because he had gotten used to getting rejection calls from numbers he didn’t know, he picked up.

“Um, hello?” Niall tried, walking into the kitchen and closing the door so he wouldn’t wake anyone, his heart beating pretty damn fast.

“Am I speaking to Niall Horan?” The man asked, and Niall agreed, but he didn’t need him to introduce himself to know who it was. “This is Liam Payne, we met this morning, at the interview for the internship.”

“Uh, yeah.” What else would Niall have said? This man was rejecting him in the middle of the night?!

“I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour, but if you are still interested in the internship, I would need you to come in tomorrow morning at 8.” Wait, wait-

“I- yeah, of course, um- sure, I- I’ll be there.” What was going on?! Was this a dream?!

“Okay, great. Make sure you dress business casual. And you can ignore the rejection email Mr. Malik sent you a couple hours ago.” Wait…

“I, uh, didn’t get an email from him.” Niall couldn’t breathe anymore, he was just standing there in the kitchen, frozen, staring at some drawing on the fridge that Josie had made a few days ago. 

“… right, my mistake. Well, see you tomorrow. Bring a laptop with you if you have one, I don’t know yet how we’re gonna do this. And be on time, we have things to discuss.” Niall could barely even say _yes_ before the other man had already ended the call, leaving him all by himself with his terrifying thoughts in the darkness. 

So wait… he had supposed to have been getting rejected, but this other man hadn’t sent that email, and now this guy was calling him at 00:30 at night to tell him to be there in… 7.5 hours? What exactly was going on with these people? Did that mean that they needed him this badly, that they couldn’t even wait one single day?

And was this Liam Payne guy still at the firm because they had so much to do? Should Niall have been afraid? Probably. At least now he had around 7 hours to read up on every single piece of information about this place he could find. And also skip through the plots of several books he thought had smart titles.

Yep, this was going to be a disaster.

\-------------------------

_Liam James Payne, CEO_

It said it right there, on the man’s name tag, and Niall hadn’t noticed yesterday but it was the first thing he had looked at after the receptionist had sent him up to the highest floor, to the largest office he had ever seen. It had plants, an entire window front, a massive desk, three computers, a couch AND a table, tons of bookshelves and… it was probably bigger than the last flat Niall had shared with his old roommate.

Niall had been up all night, but he was still too nervous as to feel tired. Harry and Louis had been thrilled for him in the morning, although they had both voiced their concerns about that 00:30 call. Whatever, now Niall was here, they had discussed the payment, the hours, the contract that Niall had just signed, and Liam Payne had stood up, walking up and down behind his desk a few times before leaning on his chair from behind, staring down at Niall still just sitting there.

“It’s possible we forgot something, I don’t normally do these things but human resources is busy.” Or non-existent, because from the looks of it, there seemed to be a lack of employees. “Any questions?” 

“Um, not that I can think of right now.” Niall told him after a terrifying moment of trying to come up with anything smart. Nothing. Plus, he had already signed the contract, so whatever.

“Great. Actually… I already have your first task for you.” He made it sound exciting and Niall was almost afraid he couldn’t manage, but... “Go to the first floor and get me a black coffee, and then you can go and find Mr. Malik in his office exactly one floor underneath us and ask him to show you what needs to get done today. Oh, and wear that name badge.”

He half threw it across the table and Niall had trouble catching it, and trouble putting it on as well because he was still kinda nervous and Liam seemed to be getting annoyed with him.

It was a maze, trying to get that coffee, and then Niall got scared because he was taking too long and had to ask too many people and then explain that he was the intern, although it said so on his badge and… anyways, by the time he made it back to Liam’s office, the man was sitting on his couch typing away on his laptop, seemingly having forgotten what he had asked Niall to do.

“What do you- oh right. Put it here.” He briefly motioned to the coffee table, so Niall put down the cup, feeling hot and cold at the same time. “I heard Malik has lots to do, so you can go find him now. And ask him to show you how to clog in and out.”

“Okay, uh, thanks.” For what? “Have a nice day.”

There was no answer, so Niall left quickly to go find Zayn Malik, who was definitely the nicer person here. 

HE would have surely said thank you for that coffee.

“Ah, there you are, thank god! Come in.” Zayn was smiling upon seeing Niall, and Niall couldn’t help but notice that although his office was much smaller than Liam’s, it was definitely an upgrade from these open office spaces on the other floors. “So he really gave you a call in the middle of the night, huh?”

“He did, yeah… “ Niall scratched his head, sitting down when Zayn motioned for him to do so, opposite his desk where a massive pile of papers was almost blocking Niall’s sight.

“Sounds like him.” Zayn snorted, and Niall would have laughed too, but he refrained from doing so. It was his first day after all. “We’re all on first name basis, so that’s okay, right? Just make sure to call Liam Mr. Payne if you want that long-term contract.”

“I, uh, I will.” Why would Niall have not done that?

“Great. Okay, Niall.” The other man smiled at him, but it looked a bit painful. “These are all scripts and book proposals and whatnot that we have gotten over the past few days. I know you have no experience, but I need you to just go through them and put them in piles, some are just jokes as always and we need to filter them out. I’ve got clear orders from Li- the boss that he wants some epic fantasy stuff because he’s been watching too much Game of Thrones. Or Lord of the Rings, whatever. No idea when he had time to do that. Okay? So three piles - trash, fantasy, and everything else. Or maybe… if something just sticks out as super weird or original, put that in an extra pile.”

“Okay. What if- how do I know if something is trash?” Seriously? They couldn’t put Niall in charge of ruining people’s dreams?!

“You’ll know. Don’t worry, I’ll look through them again, we just need a place to start, and this actually isn’t my job either, somebody quit and now its all been piling up and- anyways. It’ll be fine, Liam will only ever read 10 of these scripts anyways. At most.” Zayn shrugged, and then he looked back at his laptop and Niall took it as a sign to start.

Honestly, Niall didn’t find it boring at all to briefly skim those scripts and read some summaries, but of course he was trying to not do it too slowly. They worked in silence for an hour or so, but Niall honestly didn’t even notice time passing.

“So you already signed the contract, right? And you’ve discussed your hours and everything?” Zayn asked at some point, and Niall nodded. “And then he made you get him coffee all the way from downstairs?”

“Umm… yeah. How’d you know?” Or had it just been a joke, because Zayn was laughing now.

“Next time you’re called up to his office, you can just take a coffee with you, he always sends people back down to get him some. Unless you wanna get in those extra steps. But I doubt you’re gonna be seeing very much of him anyways.” Then the other man shrugged, continuing to type something, but Niall couldn’t help his curiosity.

“… why?” Well, it was kinda obvious, really.

“He’s a busy man, and it also seems as if the entire country has decided to become authors just when we’re running low on staff.” He joked, but it didn’t sound amused at all. “Don’t worry, we’re not going bankrupt or anything, quite the opposite with so many positions unfilled, but… there were… different reasons.”

Niall didn’t dare to ask for those.

It was a really long day, of them just working in silence because Zayn didn’t seem to be much of a talker, and they even spent their lunch break in here, in almost silence and Niall just kept working on his tasks because he had nothing to eat anyways. In the evening, he left with Zayn when the building seemed to be empty except for them and the other man showed him where and how to clog in and out. 

“Technically, you can get in and out of the building whenever with your card, but you really have no reason to. There’s a button to turn on the alarm, for when everyone’s left.” Zayn explained, but he didn’t press it. “I’ve never had to use it, so you probably won’t have to either.”

“Are we not… the last ones to leave?” It had looked like it; all the lights had been turned off as well.

“Why’d you think you were getting a call after midnight?” Oh. “See you tomorrow, Niall.”

“See you tomorrow…” Niall just stood outside the building for another second after Zayn had walked off towards the parking lot, trying to sort out his thoughts.

Honestly, he hadn’t done a lot of thinking today, and he wasn’t really exhausted either, so that was a nice change compared to his other jobs. Plus, if he’d barely have to see this Liam Payne and could work with Zayn then Niall had basically hit the jackpot with this internship. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys :) im back, yay, lmao
> 
> i know a lot of you have wished for mpreg niall, and your chances of getting that are extremely high haha (not to spoiler the entire plot though :p)! the idea of mpreg niall actually works really well with this idea ive had about niall being an intern and Liam being the CEO, so i hope everyone is happy! 
> 
> the whole ABO thing isn't really that important at first because i wanted a modern world and i didnt want the focus on that, but it will definitely be discussed a lot more in other chapters, this one was just an introduction really :) 
> 
> let me know your thoughts if you feel like it! of course i had to wait to write this until my break was over but whats new haha!  
> have a great week!! <3


	2. Chapter 2

Three weeks went by like nothing at all. Niall spent most of his time at work with Zayn, and on occasion he’d work with other people, but most of them were really just using him to get them stuff and coffee and whatnot. Then again, Niall couldn’t even be mad, because no idea what else the graphic designer would have given him to do, like, he had really tried to show Niall something, but they had both known it was pointless.

Though work went well for now, Niall felt even more guilty now living with Harry and Louis than before, because he was literally always at work, morning until evening, so he could barely help out anymore, but he was still eating their food and occupying their space. His friends both told him that it was alright, that they didn’t at all mind having him there as long as he wanted, but Niall was determined to try and find his own place as soon as possible.

Before that though, he’d need his first pay check, and probably another because he would have to make a deposit too and somehow live and buy food and- well, in short, he wouldn’t be able to leave anytime soon. And he also still didn’t even know whether he’d get a real contract or not, so he tried to push all of these worries aside.

Otherwise, they would have eaten Niall alive.

“I feel like you’re really getting the hang of it all.” The thing with Zayn was, he was always nice, but Niall had started doubting whether he truly meant it. Because if he did, he was the only one in this entire firm who seemed to think so. “There’s no way you won’t get that contract.”

“I don’t know… “ Niall shrugged a bit, clearing his throat, trying to focus on his laptop again. He was answering emails, which honestly, wasn’t as easy as it sounded. Also, did it really not bother Zayn that they were pretty much sharing his office now? “I don’t know if anyone else thinks the same.”

“Well, who cares? I spend the most time with you and you’re a really big help for me, so you can’t just leave again.” He made it sound very final and everything, but the thing was, Niall hadn’t even seen Liam Payne since 2 weeks, and if it hadn’t been for that permanent light switched on at the top floor whenever Niall left the building, he would have thought Liam had just given up on coming to work altogether. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll talk to Liam.”

“Really? Thank you.” Now Niall felt a bit better, but then again… not really. “But, uh… I’ve not even seen him for weeks and… do you think you can convince him? Just because- because I don’t know if I have to look for something else and send out applications and-“

“No, don’t do that. I’ll talk to Liam, I did it before.” Right… 

There was a moment of silence, and Niall felt strange about asking, but now he had spent pretty much the last three weeks with Zayn, so it felt a lot more natural. “When he called me to give me the internship… he told me to ignore the rejection email you’ve sent me. Or he thought you had sent me.”

“I was supposed to, but I knew he’d change his mind. And he did. Would’ve saved him some embarrassment if he hadn’t mentioned it to you.” Zayn shrugged, and Niall almost smiled.

They didn’t talk a lot during the day, because there was a lot of work to get done, so that was what most their conversations revolved around. Niall didn’t mind too much honestly, he didn’t have a lot of time to overthink anyways because he pretty much always had something to do. Which was kinda nice, because he hadn’t really experienced that in quite a while.

They worked for another hour or so, and it was almost lunch time, and Niall DID have a lunch for once, leftovers, but it was better than nothing at all. Little did he know though, he’d never end up getting to enjoy it.

There were voices outside the office all of a sudden, which was rare because usually it was almost dead quiet except them typing on their keyboards, but Niall didn’t have a lot of time to worry about it anyways. Somebody knocked on the door very briefly, leaving neither of them any time to react before it already swung open, making them both flinch.

“Mr. Malik, sorry for interrupting, I’m just gonna need my intern for a little bit.” Wait what?

It was Liam Payne, standing in the door, with a _smile_ on his face, his voice cheerful and everything Niall would have never thought he’d see on him. There was another man behind him, but Niall was still caught up thinking about how Liam had called him _his_ intern, when he hadn’t even seen him for two entire weeks.

“Yeah, uh- no problem.” Zayn told him, motioning for Niall to leave, but the confusion on his face was more than just apparent.

Niall really did not want to go with Liam, but he had no choice anyways, so he quickly closed his laptop and stood up, trying to look somewhat neutral at least.

“Mr. Horan.” Liam said, still with this weird smile on his face that looked faker than anything Niall had ever seen. Was he even aware of that? “It won’t take long, I would just like to introduce you to somebody.”

And then Liam let him pass him by to leave the office, pulling the door closed behind them, and Niall was now stood in front of another stranger in a suit, that Liam very quickly introduced to him, barely leaving Niall any time to shake the man’s hand, as he already continued. Apparently, this man was considering having Liam’s firm publish and promote the book he had written, and it seemed Liam was dying to get him to sign some contract that would bind him to this place forever. At least that’s how Niall would’ve explained this unusual behavior.

“I just thought it would be a great opportunity for you to just listen in and learn something. We are about to discuss some details and legal terms, and I would really like you to join. Unless of course, you and Mr. Malik have a lot to do.” Though he said it all sweetly and whatnot, Niall knew he had no choice here, especially not when Liam’s hand landed a bit too firmly on his shoulder.

“I would love to join and listen.” Niall told him immediately, because he fucking needed that long term contract. 

“Great! Then let’s head to my office.” Liam’s expression almost seemed relieved as he led the way, and Niall felt guilty for leaving Zayn with all this work, but Liam was the boss, what was he supposed to do?

They still had to walk all across the hallway and wait for the elevator and also be in it, and Niall didn’t think that that would take as long as it did, but apparently this stranger thought it was the perfect opportunity to ask Niall 10 billion questions.

“How long have you been an intern here?” That’s how it started, and Niall could literally sense Liam tensing up, but he stayed quiet, remained that by now frozen smile on his face as Niall started talking and answering questions about his internship, trying to only speak good about the place because… Liam was _right there_ of course. 

And judging by the ice cold glare he threw at Niall when they entered that elevator, Niall knew that he needed to do better, so he just started lying at some point. Not big lies, just different versions of the truth, putting things in a better light, because why the hell not?

It was kinda boring once they had reached Liam’s office, and Niall was just sitting next to Liam on the couch, quite a bit of distance between them, with this man opposite them. Apparently Liam thought using the couch would make this man agree to whatever he wanted, and that pretending he cared about having an intern that he actually wanted to teach something would help with it all too.

If only he hadn’t been so fucking predictable, Niall would have thought he was genuinely trying.

“Thank you so much for coming, I really hope you will consider the offer. You can call anytime if there’s anything that remained unclear.” Liam was being way too nice as he said goodbye to the stranger, but apparently, the man was falling for it anyways. 

“Thank you for taking so much time out of your day, I will definitely get back to you. It was nice to meet you.” He shook Liam’s hand, and then Niall’s too, and the very moment the door was shut behind him, Liam’s face fell and Niall felt a bit cold all of a sudden.

They were both just standing there now, Niall had no idea if he should have left also, so he just stood there, frozen almost, not daring to move a single muscle until Liam finally opened his mouth.

“Sit back down.” Liam ordered him, making sure to correct Niall though as he had taken literally one single step. “On the chair.”

So Niall did, watching carefully as Liam sat opposite him this time, behind his desk, intertwining his fingers on his table in front of him. Shit, this could have literally meant anything at all, Niall suddenly felt his heart speeding up and his fingers getting sweaty, not daring to take his eyes off of Liam.

This man surely loved making things dramatic by taking way too many pauses between talking.

“You did well, you were convincing.” Thank god. “We really need him to sign the contract, his ideas are… unreal. Mr. Malik told me you helped read through the scripts.”

“I did, yeah.” Had Niall filtered out this man’s book? Who even knew at this point.

Liam just nodded at that, leaning back in his chair. “I was doubtful at first, but it seems everyone you worked with so far had no complaints. And Mr. Malik tells me we absolutely cannot let you go.”

What was Niall supposed to say to that? So he said nothing at all.

“I’m ending your internship early.” Liam told him out of nowhere, literally making Niall’s jaw drop, but luckily, he wasn’t done yet. “I am going to give you your new contract as soon as I have it ready. The last week of this month will be paid accordingly. Your hours don’t change and I will leave you with Mr. Malik for now until I’ve figured out how to make everything work.”

“Thank you, really, I-“

“There’s no need to thank me. There is a shortage of staff and you’ve been a big help, so I would be stupid to let you go and try to find somebody else.” Well, they both knew no one had applied anyways, so there was that. “Any questions?”

“No, not really.” Niall almost thanked him again, but then he bit his tongue instead. He really wanted to call Harry or Louis right now just to tell them the news, but he would have to wait. 

“Great.” Was all Liam said to that, and Niall wasn’t sure if that was his cue or not, but when the other man didn’t say anything as he slowly got up, Niall took it as in he should have left.

He was already halfway by the door when Liam stopped him.

“One more thing.” He said it in a way as if he hadn’t really planned on it, and Niall was a bit nervous as he turned back around, even more so when he couldn’t quite tell what Liam’s facial expression meant, because it had definitely changed. “I am well aware that this a private matter, however, I do want to address this.”

Okay? Why was Liam taking a breath now? Was he about to tell Niall his clothes were ugly? Because those weren’t even his.

“I would very kindly ask you to find a way to hide your scent.” Wait… what?! 

“You mean… because I’m an Omega?” Niall just said it, because he was sure that’s what Liam had meant. Years ago, people had been required to state their biology on applications and literally anywhere, and even further ago, it had decided over their lives, what jobs they were allowed to have, where they were allowed to go.

Luckily, those times were over, and Niall was pretty sure making rules or asking employees about something so private was actually illegal.

“Are you asking me to take pills?” It kinda slipped out, really, Niall wasn’t even upset or anything, but he saw Liam’s eyes widening, as if Niall had just said the unthinkable. If Liam had actually done that, Niall could have literally sued him.

Not that he was thinking about that, but apparently, Liam was.

“No, of course not, I am simply concerned about your own safety and-“

“I’m already taking pills.” Niall interrupted, which made this whole conversation even stranger. Okay, why had he just told his BOSS that? “They’re suppressing my scent to a certain degree, I can’t do much more.”

“Of course, I’m sorry I even brought it up. You can leave and get back to work, just forget I said anything.” What?

“Um, okay.” Niall didn’t know what to do, he still stood there like an idiot, in the middle of the room, knowing very well that Liam regretted having spoken up. It’s just… no one had ever commented on Niall’s scent, ever, he had been taking these pills for ages, they were suppressing his heat and everything that came with it. He had lived through that a couple times, and he had sworn to himself, never again. At least not while he was single and had other priorities.

“Is there anything else?” Liam sounded impatient now because Niall was still standing there.

And honestly, he should have just left, maybe that would have prevented him from saying something so stupid. “I don’t think anyone here has noticed my scent.”

“We should not discuss this, it’s none of my business.” Suddenly it wasn’t anymore?

“I was just wondering if anybody s-“

“Nobody said anything about you, only good things. It was all professional. What I just asked you about your scent was out of line and it had nothing at all to do with your work here. I apologize for overstepping the line. You may leave now.” It was obvious how much willpower it had cost him to apologize to Niall, and it was a weird sight to see Liam almost losing his cool.

There were more questions on Niall’s mind, but he tried to suppress them and simply nodded before finally leaving Liam’s office, both happy about his new contract but also confused about this conversation. 

If no one had complained to Liam about Niall’s scent being distracting or whatever, which it couldn’t be because of the pills, then what had the point been of him bringing it up? Could HE smell Niall this intensely that it bothered him? Most likely, there was no other explanation, but they also spent 0 time together so it was like… pointless?

Sadly, Niall would probably never find an answer to that.

\----------------

“I knew you’d agree.” Zayn’s grin was driving Liam insane, but he tried his best to ignore him. For now.

“Okay, can you leave?” Liam asked, as politely as somehow possible between almost clenched teeth. 

“I don’t feel like it, your office is so nice.” His friend joked while lounging on Liam’s couch. If he tried to light himself a cigarette again like last time then Liam would literally lose it on him, even if it was just a joke. Honestly, Liam had thought he needed a doctor after because of how angry he had been with Zayn that day. “Kinda insane, huh? That Niall’s fitting right in and all these people, us included, had to get a degree first.”

“That’s how the world works, Z. Just because you have to get a degree for it, doesn’t mean you will actually make use of it. Horan is just lucky we’re on staff shortage.” Which… kinda was Liam’s fault, and he was aware of that, had regretted quite a few past decisions as well, but he would not say it oud loud. Especially in front of an employee, even if it was his best friend. “And that he knows how to lie when clients ask him stuff about the place… I should’ve known he would be good at that, he lied during the interview as well.”

“You set him up to fail in that interview. And I was lucky too that you hired me with a completely different Master’s degree.” Well… no one else who worked here knew about that, and Liam had also only done it because Zayn was that, his friend. Probably his only one right now. Or for the past few years. 

“You’re lucky my father is a cold hearted narcissist or I would’ve never had the drive to become self-employed.” Liam just said it how it was, because he didn’t care about his father, nor what he thought of him. At least that’s what Liam liked to tell himself most of the time, it was easier that way, for all parties involved. 

“You know how you could really show him, Li, I’ve been telling you for years, you should finally use your own name for-“

“I won’t. It’s not about that, I don’t care what he thinks of me. I really need to work on this, Z.” Or he wanted to, but what was the difference anyways?

“It’s Saturday evening, Li. Are you gonna be here all weekend?” Probably. “We should go out and do something. At least eat.”

“You can go eat, I’ll order in when I get home.” IF he’d get home, but that was a different story. “I also need to go to the gym later, I really don’t have any time.”

“You’re gonna burn yourself out, sooner or later.” Zayn told him, all calmly, and Liam used to get upset over this, but now he just shrugged it off. “Probably sooner, with your lifestyle. I’ve heard some employees from the IT department talk about how they hadn’t seen you in 2 months.”

“Why would I go into the IT department? They can come up here and ask me questions anytime they feel like it.” Not sure if Liam would answer these questions, but they didn’t know that yet.

“It’s not about that, it’s about you being in your office all day, probably every day, and me and your clients being the only people you talk to. Maybe the guy you’re ordering food from.” Now Zayn was getting up, hopefully to leave.

“I order online.” Liam explained calmly, still not looking away from his screen. “I talk to my housekeeper.”

“Your housekeeper pretty much is your house owner by now. She spends more time there than you do.” That was also true, but it still didn’t bother Liam, like, these were all just facts, what did Zayn even want from him? 

“She doesn’t live there, it’d be weird, and she barely has anything to clean either because no one’s ever there, so she doesn’t spend that much time at my house either. Anyways, I don’t know why this is any of your concern?” Seriously, Liam had to work.

“It is because you’re my friend, and you’re almost 30 years old and you’ve being living in this exact office for the past five years. You should come with me to get something to eat, we can go to the gym together. Like we used to.” Now he almost sounded desperate, but Liam couldn’t agree, and he also actually didn’t even want to. 

“That was ages ago, Zayn… “ When they had been in high school together, and Liam had had his rebel phase, gotten a bunch of tattoos and had been drunk every day of the week. But those times were long over. “I really have to finish this.”

His friend just sighed at that, but he went to collect his things, slowly walking over to the door and Liam thought he had already left when he suddenly spoke up again. “You know… Niall told me you commented on his Omega scent.”

“He- what? When?” Now Liam did look at Zayn, for the first time in a while, because why would this Horan kid tell ZAYN?!

“A few days ago, when you told him he’d get a long term contract. Don’t tell him I told you that, I’m just bringing it up because I thought it’s strange you’d say something like that. Isn’t it kinda illegal to-“

“I wasn’t telling him what to do, it was a mere suggestion that he should hide it. For his own safety.” Liam insisted, but he wasn’t sure if he truly meant it. 

“What safety? I can barely smell him and I’m sat with him in my office all day, almost every day.” Wait… “Are you telling me you weren’t just trying to play boss again?”

“Why would I- you can’t smell him?” Now Liam didn’t know what to think anymore because- what? Niall had one of the most intense Omega smells Liam had ever noticed on somebody. 

“Barely. Why, can you?” He narrowed his eyes, and Liam almost lost his cool, his façade slipping for just a moment, but then he got it together last second. 

“A little.” Liam lied, hopefully not too obvious, but he was usually good at that. “Anyways, I apologized to him for discussing private matters. Can you make sure he doesn’t spread that story in the firm?”

“Don’t think he even really talks to anyone besides me.” Zayn shrugged, and Liam furrowed his eyebrows, but then the other man just made some throwaway motion with his hand. “I’m leaving, call me if you change your mind. See you Monday.”

“Have fun.” Not quite sure with that, because Liam was already lost in his work again.

\-----------------------------

It was kinda great, to be doing the exact same work while knowing he was getting paid a lot more. Sure, Niall still lived on Harry’s and Louis’ living room couch, but he really tried his best to help during the weekend, and whenever he had time in the evening, he even made his friends go out on Saturday, doing this whole movie night with the girls just to somehow give back. Not that anyone was making him feel as if he had to do that, except himself.

It was Friday now, over a week since Liam had given Niall the new contract to sign, and he had been awfully nice, probably because of that scent incident last week that Niall hadn’t gotten out of his head since then. He had even asked Zayn about it, whether he could notice his Omega scent, and his face had gotten more than red when the other man had just stared at him in confusion.

So then Niall had had to tell him about his conversation with Liam, because what choice had he had, really? None.

“Okay, once we’re finished with that we can leave… shit it’s already 6 again.” Zayn groaned, and Niall would’ve done the same but he was still trying to leave a good impression. A fake one as well, as someone who never got tired or wanted to go home. “You know what, you can go ahead and clog out and I will- fuck, what does Liam want now?”

He said the last part quietly, and Niall assumed he must have gotten an email from him because he was still looking at his desktop. Niall had long figured out that Zayn and Liam were friends, that they only called each other their last names in front of other employees, and that this whole thing about Niall getting the internship had definitely all been Zayn’s doing. Not that he had said anything to Zayn about it.

“He wants you to come to his office and help him with something. But you’re totally not required to do that, your shift ended an hour ago.” He sounded guilty, but Niall just shrugged although he felt his heart speeding up a bit. 

“I’ll go, it’s fine, I don’t mind.” The less time he spent bothering Harry and Louis the better, and also, Niall needed the hours anyways. “Should I come back after?”

“No, I will do it, no worries, just take your stuff and see what he wants. If it takes too long just tell him you have an appointment.” As if Niall would have ever been brave enough to do that. “I’ll see you Monday, have a good weekend.”

“You too, thanks, Zayn.” Niall meant it, he wouldn’t have known what to do if he couldn’t have worked with Zayn anymore. He barely knew anybody else in this entire building.

Everything was dark already when Niall left Zayn’s office, everyone else already having gone maybe even hours ago, so the silence was a little creepy as Niall waited for the elevator to come. He definitely did not look over his shoulder though. Only twice.

Niall had to take a breath before he knocked on Liam’s door, and then again because there was no answer, so finally, he grew some balls and just walked in without waiting any longer.

“Hi, Mr. Payne, sorry, I knocked, but-“

“There you are, no worries. Close the door, I’ve got something to do for you.” He seemed in a somewhat good mood, so Niall relaxed a bit as he walked over to sit on the chair opposite the couch where Liam was sitting with his laptop. He sat there most of the time, hardly ever behind his desk. “I need you to read this entire book.”

“Uh- Okay.” What else was Niall supposed to say?!

“Unless you have somewhere to be, then of course you can leave, your shift is already over. Since it’s Friday though, you’ll get paid double after 7.” Wait, then how could Niall have said no?!

“I’ve got nowhere at all to be, I can stay.” Niall told him immediately, almost choking on his own words because he said it so quickly. Did he sound desperate? Probably.

“Great, I thought so.” Liam smiled, but a kinda stiff smile, a little fake, the usual. “Since this is confidential, you’ll have to read it on my laptop or I would just send it to you and let you read it at home. Just read it, and feel free to edit any errors you find, the main thing I want you to do is to just tell me your honest opinion afterwards, you can mark paragraphs you think need changes or just take notes, anything at all.”

“Okay… um, is it a book from one of your clients?” So why did Liam want HIM to read it?

“Yes, it’s the final version, but none of the editors had time to read it except me, and since the book is aimed at a younger audience, I want you to read it, because we’re supposed to have this done by tomorrow.” Wait…

“I’m 25.” Niall told him, a little confused.

“I know.” Liam shrugged, and it took another moment for Niall to get it. Okay, so obviously Liam had figured out that Niall didn’t read a lot, so he thought if Niall understood the book, then younger people would as well? Should he have been offended? “Alright, look… “

Liam closed every single tab, and disconnected his laptop from the WIFI that Niall didn’t have the password for before handing him his laptop, the book already opened. 

“Take as long as you need, I’ve got tons of work to do as well.” And with that, he went back to his desk, leaving Niall with these FOUR HUNDRED pages. Fuck, they’d be here all night.

Niall wasn’t sure anymore if he truly didn’t mind when he texted Harry, just to let him know that he hadn’t died on his way home, but he couldn’t talk himself out of this anymore anyways. Besides… maybe if he took even longer and read slowly, Liam would pay him even more, so that also didn’t seem like a bad idea.

At first, Niall just sat on the chair for ages, reading this book he didn’t enjoy a lot, and eventually, he just stopped caring and moved to the couch. Not that Liam ever even did as much as look at him, so whatever. If Niall would be here until 11 or even later, then he might as well be comfortable, right?

Zayn would probably scold him for doing this if he asked on Monday, but Niall didn’t care, he desperately needed that money.

No one talked, Liam was just typing, sighing occasionally, and Niall did the same, minus the sighing. It was a little boring, but the book got slightly better after a while and Niall stopped looking at the clock because it didn’t matter. He was literally getting paid to read a fantasy book in his boss’ office in the middle of the night, who could even say that? No one.

“How many pages do you have left?” Liam asked at some point, almost making Niall flinch by speaking up so suddenly.

“Around half.” He lied a little bit, but there was no answer anyways, so he assumed it was alright.

The other man left at some point, but just to use the bathroom that was attached to his office, and Niall kinda needed to go as well, but he waited another hour before asking whether it was alright if he used it. Liam just made some movement with his hand without doing as much as looking at him. 

Even the bathroom was nicer than any bathroom Niall had ever been in, but he also wasn’t sure anymore whether he would have wanted to trade his life for Liam’s, all this money and the high positions for what? Working this long every single day with no time to enjoy it because he had no free time?

Then again, if this was Liam’s hobby, maybe he didn’t even wanna have it any other way, maybe this was his dream life. In that case, Niall would have definitely traded with him.

“I’m finished.” Niall had kinda stopped thinking that moment would come, the clock on Liam’s laptop now read 22:58 and Niall had definitely skipped a few paragraphs because what the hell?! He had been reading this book for like 5 hours and his eyes were about to fall closed. He genuinely wondered whether Liam was insane right now.

“Great. Do you think we can talk about it or do you want to leave?” See, this was the thing, Niall couldn’t be mad because Liam wasn’t keeping him here, he literally always asked whether Niall wanted to leave or not.

“No, we can discuss it, I’m good.” As good as he could be after having woken up at 7 to go to work and being here for a total of 15 hours.

Liam came over to discuss it, not even looking a little bit tired and Niall started to wonder whether he was superman or a vampire or something, because surely, this could neither be healthy nor normal. “So, what did you think? Is there anything you would change?”

So Niall told him honestly, and showed him a few paragraphs, asked a few questions because he wasn’t feeling shy anymore or unqualified to discuss this book, he was just tired and nothing else. Fuck this, he should have gone home, he would be woken up by the girls at 8 in the morning the latest and he would have to help Louis clean and- Niall would die.

He was pretty certain he nodded off a couple times while Liam talked, but the other man never commented on it, and then they were suddenly finished and it was almost midnight and Niall felt like crying. He didn’t, only on the inside.

“Well, thank you for staying this long.” Liam had packed his things a lot faster than Niall, and Niall almost couldn’t believe that he was actually going to witness Liam leaving this building for once. So he did sleep after all.

“No problem… “ Niall’s words sounded half slurred, but he didn’t care anymore. It was only when they were in the elevator together, standing in silence, that Niall used his brain again for a split second, and the word just slipped out. “Fuck…”

“Excuse me?” Liam sounded confused, and Niall would have been embarrassed had he not felt drunk from being so fucking tired.

“I- the last bus I could’ve taken already left.” If he had only been a little bit quicker and- shit, what was Niall going to do now?

“There is a taxi service that is very quick and-“

“I don’t have any money.” Niall interrupted without thinking, wondering who the hell used a taxi and not an Uber, but he could have afforded neither anyways. Especially not in the middle of the night.

“I’m sure you can call someone.” Liam continued, the elevator making a sound as it stopped in the last floor, but Niall felt frozen, panic rising in his chest. “Mr. Horan?”

“I can’t call anyone, they’re asleep and I can’t wake the girls and I’m already sleeping on my friends’ couch rent free, I can’t just wake them up in the middle of the night. If I walk it’s going to take hours and I will probably get robbed and- shit.” Niall couldn’t get out of that elevator, maybe he should have just slept in Zayn’s office or something. This was- but who would ever even think of that working an office job?! “I’m gonna have to walk… I don’t know if I even know the way at night.”

Liam was just staring at him, standing in the elevator doors and keeping them from closing while Niall thought he would either pass out any second or start crying. Maybe both.

“Is it illegal to sleep in the office?” Niall’s stupid and overtired ass blurted out because he honestly could not think of a solution to his problem.

The other man didn’t say anything, and when he did, it seemed to take all of his willpower. “I will drive you.”

“Wha- you really don’t have to, I can-“

“You’re not sleeping in the office and I can’t let you walk.” Liam was already walking away while speaking, so Niall hurried after him, feeling both guilty but also relieved at the same time. “It is my fault you missed the bus.”

“Well, I chose to stay.” He would have done it again, but maybe left just a little bit earlier.

Their conversation ended right there, and Niall just tagged along with Liam out of the building, watching him press the alarm button Zayn had told Niall he’d never seen being used. It was cold outside as they walked to the parking lot, to the one reserved spot where Liam’s giant car was parked. Damn, Niall was already afraid he’d get something dirty.

“Should I get in the backs-“

“Get in the passenger’s seat. And please keep your bag on your lap.” Liam told him, so Niall wouldn’t dare to do anything else with it.

Liam’s car smelled as if it was still brand new, the seats were made of white leather and Niall barely even dared to breathe once he had sat down, waiting for the other man to do the same.

“Can you tell me your address?” He asked, and Niall was genuinely about to say it, but suddenly, his brain felt empty.

“I, um, I- one second.” He let out a nervous laugh, feeling like the stupidest idiot in the entire world for not remembering. He had never needed to know Harry’s and Louis’ address before after he had written it down on the CV he had sent to every single place, but that was 2 months ago now and… great. “I can tell you the way.”

“Okay.” Liam was probably confused, and annoyed, but he didn’t let it show.

He also didn’t turn on the radio so it felt quite weird when he started the car and drove off, with Niall’s poor directions probably leading him the wrong way. This shouldn’t have happened, they shouldn’t have ever gotten in this situation, Niall shouldn’t have ever even stayed to read this damn book just because he needed the money, and most of all, he shouldn’t have ever ended up in a car with his boss, the tiny space making it difficult to ignore his scent.

Was this what Liam had been talking about? Because Niall could smell him very much also, but it was a lot more normal this way around because Liam was an Alpha, he didn’t have to take any pills to suppress anything at all. Still, Niall was noticing it a bit too much also now that they were in the car together, and-

“Left or right?” Oh, right, he had to give Liam directions still.

“Left.” Niall said without thinking, only to realize it had been wrong when Liam had already turned. “Wait, sorry- uh, you can just take another left then. Sorry, it all looks different when it’s dark and I’m not used to it.”

No answer again, could Niall turn on the radio or would it have been rude? Probably would have overstepped twelve million lines so he kept his hands in his lap. Was the drive even supposed to take this long? He didn’t even know anymore.

Niall gave Liam more directions over the next few minutes, almost sleeping in whenever they didn’t talk and how embarrassing would that have been? Falling asleep in his boss’ car in the middle of the damn night?! 

“This is quite a long way.” Liam commented after a while and Niall was just happy that they had almost arrived before the other man would start to think Niall was actually homeless and using his car as a sleeping place.

“I know, sorry.” No idea for what, for his stupidity? “It’s the blue building at the end.”

It was too dark to differentiate between the colors of buildings but whatever.

When Liam stopped the car, Niall was more than relieved but also a little exhausted thinking about going upstairs now. It was well after midnight and he could have fallen asleep in the staircase, pretty sure.

“Thank you so much for driving me, I wouldn’t have known what else to do. But I can always stay longer, I didn’t at all mind.” Just so he knew who to ask next time.

“No problem. See you Monday.” Or probably not, because they barely saw each other.

Niall half fell out of the car, fumbling way too long with the key in the lock, and he noticed Liam waiting to drive off until he had entered the building. Probably because he had been trying to make sure that Niall actually lived there and hadn’t been lying to him. Would he have fired him had Niall been homeless? Probably.

Since Niall had no energy to do anything at all anymore, he basically just quickly changed his clothes and then fell asleep the very moment his head hit the pillow on the couch. The whole embarrassment would probably haunt him tomorrow and the following days, but for now, he just needed sleep.

\------------------------

“Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme?” Harry sounded worried after Niall had told him about the previous night, but all Niall could do was shrug because he was still tired. It didn’t help that he had been forced to watch cartoons at 7 in the morning, still was an hour later, with Clara on his lap already knowing all the words anyways. “Ni, you know you don’t have to take that many hours because of the money, right?”

“I know, but I really didn’t mind it at all. And my boss drove me home anyways.” Niall shrugged, feeling weird now about a lot of things he had said last night, but it was what it was and he had needed to get home.

“You could have also called, we’d never just leave you stranded in the middle of the night.” His friend told him again because he already had a few seconds ago.

“I know… thank you.” Niall told him quietly, wanting to go back to sleep but knowing that he couldn’t. Louis and Josie were still asleep, and Harry was probably only awake because he’d have to leave in a bit to go teach a morning class in yoga or something. “My boss just offered though, I don’t think he minded too much. But it was a bit strange.”

“Kinda surprises me, really… I’ve met him a couple times, but we never really spoke again ever since we discussed my first novel. He seems really busy.” An understatement.

“He is. I think he spends all weekend there as well, and he’s always the last one to leave.” Niall shrugged, not really caring too much because why would he?

“Kinda makes you think though… like, what kinda life is that? I mean, he’s rich and all, but he could just hire more people to do the work for him, he could surely afford it.” Most likely, this was what Niall was wondering about since a while as well.

“They always talk about being short on staff… but I’ve no idea why.” Well… or maybe Niall did. Liam didn’t seem very liked among the employees and he was paying more than Niall had thought he would, but Niall also hadn’t gotten a degree or anything. “You know… he said something to me a couple days ago.”

“What did he say?” Now Harry sounded a lot more curious, and Niall kinda regretted having said anything at all.

“It was about my scent, like, he told me to cover it up better. But then he also apologized and said that it was none of his business or whatever. It was weird. Also, I’ve been taking these pills for years and years, no one’s ever commented on my scent before.” Niall shrugged, to signal that he didn’t care when really, it hadn’t left his mind ever since it had happened.

Harry didn’t say anything at first and Niall assumed it was because he didn’t think it was a big deal, or maybe because Clara was right there on Niall’s lap singing along to some kids’ song on the TV, but it turned out Niall was wrong. “Are you being serious?”

“Uh, yeah?” Great, now Harry was getting worked up over it, Niall should have kept his mouth shut. “I don’t know why I told you, I just thought it’s weird. I should’ve asked Louis if he ever notices my s-“

“He doesn’t, you’re taking these pills… why does Liam even feel he can comment on it either way? Even if you weren’t on any kinda pills, it’s none of his business? I mean, fine, he apologized, whatever, he should have never brought it up.” Okay, was he genuinely angry now?

“I don’t really care that he brought it up, it just made me question if my pills actually work, I mean, I never go into heat but I’ve no idea how I smell.” And no one else seemed to know either. “He was probably just messing with me and then he realized he’s not actually allowed to say these things to his employees.”

“Kind of a strange topic to mess with an employee about.” Right, but Niall had no other explanation for any of it, so what was he gonna do about it? “… but he’s nice otherwise? I mean, he’s not like, I don’t know… being weird? Or… getting too close to y-“

“No, no, what? It’s not like that, at all. What?” Okay, now Niall’s cheeks were literally on fire, and Harry seemed relieved, but what the hell?! “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know, it kinda started to sound weird and I was worried you were about to tell me even worse things that might have happened. So it’s all good?” Harry asked, and Niall refused to look at him because he was blushed as hell at just the thought. 

“It’s all good.” He confirmed quickly, clearing his throat a bit, hoping the conversation was over now.

Harry had to leave a few moments later anyways, so Niall was left alone with Clara and Paw Patrol and it wasn’t his favorite way to spend Saturday mornings, but it also wasn’t a bad way. He did fall back asleep a few times, because the plot wasn’t exactly THAT exciting, and then Clara would wake him with laughter or squealing or singing and Niall spent another hour like this before everyone else was up as well.

They went to the park with the girls after having breakfast and doing the bare minimum amount of cleaning and Niall ignored another call from his mother on the way there. He couldn’t talk right now, he was super busy watching the girls after Harry had met up with them and Niall was trying his best to let him and Louis enjoy some alone time.

He would just try and forget about this stupid conversation with Liam, and about last night, and just be happy that he finally had a job, because that was all that mattered. Right?

\----------------------------

Getting his first paycheck was honestly the best feeling in the world, and yeah, Niall couldn’t just get up and move out, but it was definitely a beginning, and for the first time in ages, he actually felt a little bit proud of himself. Maybe everything would turn out to be fine after all, who knew?

Two weeks had gone by since Niall had worked so late in Liam’s office, and it had happened frequently after that, but Niall had never missed that bus again. Zayn had commented on it twice, asking Niall whether he really enjoyed staying this late, but Niall had told him yes so many times that the other man had stopped asking.

Truth was, not only did Niall need the money, he kinda truly enjoyed helping Liam in his office, not only because it was spacious and more comfortable there, but also because he definitely had more interesting things to do for Niall than Zayn. Not that Niall would have ever told Zayn that.

He could have probably guessed it though.

“Wait, an office party?” Niall immediately felt a bit weird because he definitely hadn’t thought he’d have to socialize today.

“Yeah, didn’t I tell you last week? Hm, sorry.” Zayn shrugged, scratching his head while reading through some papers.

“What, uh, what are we celebrating?” Seriously? Someone had actually quit a few days ago, but they surely weren’t celebrating that, were they?

“It’s the company’s five year anniversary.” Oh. “But people just wanna drink after work, barely anyone has been here for that long anyways.”

“Have you?” Niall asked without thinking, but Zayn just shrugged, obviously pretending to be busy. Well, that was enough of an answer already.

This whole place was a bit of a mystery to Niall, Zayn was as well, a little bit, but nothing really topped Liam. Niall had already googled him a few too many times, and found some interviews he had given years ago, so he had also figured out Liam’s age and where he had gone to university, where he was from, but nothing personal really. Like, not that he would have wanted to know anything personal. Absolutely not.

Niall was definitely not dressed for an office party, he also felt weird joining because he still barely knew anybody, but luckily, Zayn stuck to his side, including him in conversations and making sure to introduce Niall over and over again to people from other departments. It wasn’t so bad, there were drinks and some food, and Niall might have enjoyed himself, but somehow, he just couldn’t.

“Hey, Zayn… “ He asked after a while, watching the other man loading his plate with even more food, just making some sound to signal Niall to keep on talking. “If it’s a five year anniversary of Liam founding this firm… why’s everyone celebrating without him then?”

“Liam hates parties.” Zayn shrugged, as if it was no big deal. Maybe it wasn’t. “He knows there’s a party, he had to give the okay on it.”

“Oh.” What else was Niall gonna say, he already felt weird about having asked about Liam at all, because clearly, no one else cared. Also, Niall kinda doubted people would be having this much fun if he had been here. 

He spent a few minutes talking to some other co-workers he had never met before today, but they turned out to be rather nice and maybe this was a good opportunity for Niall to actually get to know more people. After all, he really hoped he could stay here on a long term basis, because… well, let’s be honest, he had no options. Although, this place would’ve looked good on his CV either way.

“… so you’re the new guy?” Someone asked Niall after exchanging a couple sentences, and the younger man nodded. “I was wondering when the people who left would finally get replaced.”

“Why did they leave anyway?” Now it was Niall’s chance to ask, he was a little curious, yes, but the man just shrugged, eating some more cake.

“Stay here for a couple months and you’re gonna think about leaving too. But I heard a few of the people who left had other offers, all from the same place they hadn’t even applied to.” Niall already had his mouth open to ask even more questions, but he never got the chance. “I’ll deny it if you tell anyone you heard that from me.”

“Uh, I won’t, I was just wondering w-“

“Hey, Niall! Come over here for a second.” Zayn called him, making Niall flinch, and he turned around for the split of a second, having no choice but to go over because he had already made eye contact now.

There was more small-talk, more introducing, and Niall started to get a little bit exhausted. More though, he couldn’t find this guy anymore who had told him about why people had left, and Niall couldn’t get it out of his head. Almost as little as he couldn’t stop thinking about Liam letting his employees celebrating his company anniversary without him.

Something was wrong with this place, or maybe with Liam. Maybe even both.

And Niall should have definitely not gotten excited about his boss texting him to come up to his office when he did a while into the party. Niall didn’t tell Zayn or anyone, he just snuck off, basically, and he did take one of the cupcakes with him though, for no reason at all other than that he wanted to eat it. If Liam didn’t want it.

Niall had stopped being nervous knocking on Liam’s door, but he waited until he was told to enter before he did, feeling a little less confident when he saw the older man sitting behind his desk, clearly busy with work. 

“Sit down.” Liam told him, so Niall carefully closed the door before walking over to sit opposite his boss like so many times before. It was really quiet in here compared to downstairs, but Niall had almost already forgotten about the party anyways. “I need you to- what’s with that?”

“Uhhh, I brought it from the party. I thought you might want one.” Great, now Niall’s face was absolutely burning as he put the cupcake on the desk.

There was a moment of silence, a really uncomfortable one, of Liam staring at this cupcake, with a undefinable expression on his face. It definitely did not look like he was happy. “I don’t eat sugar.”

“Oh, I-“

“I need your opinion on these applications.” Liam interrupted him, completely ignoring the cupcake and- wait what?

“You- my opinion? On applications?” Reading books was ONE thing, but reading other people’s applications?!

“Yes. We’re hiring a few interns and I don’t usually read the applications myself, I have someone else do it and I think I might be too biased to do it.” The way he said it still sounded really professional and completely serious, but Niall just… he just couldn’t wrap his head around it.

“But I-“

“It wasn’t an offer.” Liam reminded him, and immediately, Niall felt himself tensing up as he nodded, trying to get it together. “I would have rejected your application. I wouldn’t have hired you after that interview. And yet somehow you managed to fit in so well and so easily, and I would for once rather hear the opinion of somebody who is not just looking at past experience and university names.”

Okay, now Niall was somehow offended, somehow feeling proud, and that was the thing about Liam, he could insult Niall and still make him feel competent? Either way, he could have never told him that anyways, and he had no choice but to read through these applications.

Liam simply pushed the cupcake to the side as if it didn’t exist in favor of putting a few pieces of paper in front of Niall, printed out CV’s and application forms and pictures, overwhelming Niall a little tiny bit.

It took him a while to read through them all, he didn’t wanna like, ruin somebody’s life with his unprofessional opinion because he knew the feeling after all. Although, these people did not look as if they would have been homeless had they not gotten the internship, they were mostly younger than Niall as well, still in university, and it kinda made him feel dumb as hell.

“Well, I… I think they all sound rather nice-“

“Nice won’t help us.” Liam interrupted with a firm voice, making Niall swallow. 

“Okay, well… “ Fuck, Niall didn’t wanna be in this situation, but he was already there. “Well, okay, so this guy- he seems a bit… stuck up.”

“Stuck up?” Liam raised an eyebrow at that and Niall blushed although he thought he could see the hint of a smile on the other man’s face. Probably a hallucination.

“I mean-“

“Okay, then, not him.” Was all he said, snatching the paper out of Niall’s hands and putting it to the side. “What about the others?”

It were a painful few minutes for Niall, but eventually, he just ended up saying whatever was on his mind because it seemed that was what Liam wanted. Niall tried not to be unfair and he tried not to let his own situation influence him too much, but it was harder than expected. So now he got Liam’s problem about acting biased.

The only question Niall had though was how had Liam managed to get so many applicants all of a sudden? Had he adjusted the payment and the terms and conditions? Probably, Niall would have to check the website later.

“Okay, then these 3 are out. I want you to come along to the interviews as well.” Wait, wait-

“But-“

“Mr. Horan, I would really appreciate you not questioning your work assignments anymore.” Shit.

“Sorry, I was just- sorry. It won’t happen again.” Niall almost fell over his own words, kneading his fingers and trying to hold back with all these questions swarming his mind. All of this was so strange, why had Liam asked him to come up here right now anyways?! “Is there anything else you need me to do?”

“No, you can go back downstairs to the party. Thanks.” He was already focusing on something else again, and honestly, the thought of having to go back downstairs to that party made Niall wanna vomit.

“I, uh… “ He started like an idiot, having to clear his throat three times until Liam was looking at him in the strangest way. “I’m like- I’m not really- parties are not really my thing and if there’s anything that needs to be done, I’d be happy to do it.”

“Hmm.” Was all Liam made, and then, out of nowhere, he reached down and dropped the biggest pile of papers in front of Niall on the desk. “These need to be sorted according to date and put into this binder.”

“Okay.” There was nothing else to say, so Niall just got started right away, because he knew that was what Liam would have expected from him.

Silence again, like always whenever they worked in here together, and Niall was honestly just hoping that Zayn wouldn’t come looking for him because he genuinely did not wanna leave. And it had nothing at all to do with Liam of course, Niall had just done enough socializing for now. Like, he wasn’t too bad at it, and he didn’t hate it or anything, he was alright with people usually, but today, he didn’t really feel like it.

It was a little hard working with this cupcake right in front of him, but Niall only looked at it every couple seconds, hopefully in a really discrete manner because-

“Please just eat it.” Liam interrupted Niall’s embarrassment at some point, sighing at the end. “But don’t get crumbs on the paper.”

Niall almost wanted to say no, but fuck, he was craving that stupid cupcake and anyways, Liam had told him to do it, so that’s what he had to do, right? So he took a break, to eat a fucking cupcake at his boss’ desk, and Niall didn’t even notice Liam watching him until he was halfway done and his face immediately got hot.

“You can go downstairs and-“

“No, no, I’m done, I’m full.” Niall swallowed so quickly he almost choked, and then he had to cough and it was all just a disaster in the end. Somehow though, he still heard Liam laughing for the very split of a second. Wait… he could laugh? “Sorry for that, I- I’m done, my hands are clean.”

“I’m glad.” The older man told him, almost as if he was amused. And then, right when Niall was getting back to work, he suddenly continued. “I’m surprised they didn’t ask you to break out your guitar skills for the party.”

“I, uh- I don’t think anyone knows I can play guitar. Except Zayn.” Niall shrugged, feeling even more embarrassed than before.

“Hmm.” Liam made, apparently interested in the topic though, for some very strange reason. “Was any of it true? What you said at your interview? Regarding the gigs you had?”

“It was all true.” Now Niall was offended again, but he tried not to let it show. This conversation was unusual for them, but he decided to roll with it. “I used to have a lot of gigs, uh, but they didn’t pay a lot. Or nothing. But it was mostly just my hobby anyways… I’ve not played in a while though… I’ve mostly just been writing.”

“Well, maybe you will be able to work as a musician full time one day, you never know.” Liam shrugged, and were those words of encouragement? Out of HIS mouth?!

“Yeah… I doubt it.” Niall shrugged, trying to focus back on his work task, and then suddenly, it seemed he had completely lost his damn mind, gotten too confident about the fact that they were here all alone and Liam was being nice. “If I ever get another gig I’ll invite you.”

“How likely is that?” The older man asked, probably scared he would really have to go, but he also looked somewhat amused and Niall was a little proud of that. 

“Not very.” Niall calmed him, hoping for another laugh, but all he got was Liam not looking as serious as he normally did. Well, that was a beginning, and it was enough to make Niall feel a little too comfortable. “Why are you not celebrating your own company’s anniversary?”

“It’s a simple excuse to drink and I allow it twice a year. Once now, once for Christmas.” Liam explained calmly, but Niall noticed his shift in mood, and he knew it was time to shut up. “You should hurry if you want to finish this anytime soon.”

“Okay, I- …. how’d you know I wasn’t drunk out of my mind when you texted me?” Niall joked, regretting it immediately.

“Because I would have fired you on the spot and we both know you need this job.” Okay, he was back at being rude again, that was truly Niall’s cue to zip it. Either way, Liam was right.

After that it was difficult to focus on his task, mostly because of the conversation they had just had, the most normal one ever since they had met, partly because Liam’s Alpha scent was distracting Niall to a point where he got half the papers in the wrong order and had to start again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! :)
> 
> thank you so much for all the nice comments on the first chapter & all the kudos!!! and thank you for reading this chapter as well, i hope you enjoyed it! :D i will make this story move more quickly than previous stories, so the next chapter might be very exciting, but i dont wanna spoil anything!!
> 
> i hope you all had a good weekend, have a great week too! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> explicit smut warning

“So, what do you think?“ Liam had to admit he was more interested in Niall’s thoughts than he would have liked to admit. Of course Niall wasn’t that qualified, of course he had no degrees, and no experience, but the fact that he had such a completely different view on the world was kinda interesting to Liam. Everyone in this firm always tried to please him, tried to be professional and to lie straight to his face if necessary, except Zayn.

Niall though, as much as he tried to be professional and blend in, he would always stick out, but maybe this was exactly what this place needed.

“Hmm… “ Was all the younger man made, still staring at his laptop and Liam tried not to laugh. It happened a lot to him lately, and he really wasn’t easily amused, especially in work settings, but it was different with Horan. It was like… not so serious. 

But maybe that also came from the fact that Liam knew Niall was getting along well with Zayn and that he was younger than him and also came from a completely different background than them.

“I think the first one was the worst.” Niall told him after a moment, and Liam just nodded, to encourage him to keep going. He had actually thought the first person they had interview had been the best, but… “She kept talking about all those things she’s done, but she mixed up all the dates. And the third one answered no questions, he just kept asking you things back. And then the last one… I think he could probably score an internship anywhere he wanted and he knows it, he kept mentioning his father’s business.”

“So… you suggest we take the people who choked on their words talking to me and the one who dropped out of uni in his last year?” Liam asked with a raised eyebrow, half expecting Niall to take it all back now, maybe blush, but he didn’t. 

“They seemed to be the nicest. And not so arrogant.” He added the last part after a moment of thinking about it, and Liam could tell he actually hadn’t liked any of the people he had just interviewed. “I mean, not that my opinion really counts for anything-“

“It does, or I wouldn’t have asked you. I do have the last word, but I was interested to hear what you thought.” Also, Liam had told Niall beforehand that he could ask the potential interns questions as well, and he had done so a few times, random things really. Liam had mostly been interested to see how the interviewees would react, because he had introduced Niall beforehand and told them that he had been an intern just recently. “Anything else you noticed?”

They kept talking about it, Niall seemed to get more confident sharing things with Liam after a while and Liam did take a few notes. It was helpful, to get a different perspective on things, because after all he had to admit he would have never hired Niall had it not been for Zayn, and the fact that they had desperately needed somebody. 

Liam had had to adjust the conditions and the payment in order to actually get people to apply this time, but it seemed to have worked at least. He also couldn’t be too picky because he didn’t have that many choices with the way things were going regarding employees.

“Should I go and ask Zayn if he has anything to do for me?” Now that Niall had been here for a while, he wasn’t as quiet anymore as he had been in the beginning, and Liam didn’t mind it at all, he just didn’t want other employees to see how comfortable Niall seemed to get around him.

Normally, Liam would have tried to stop that from happening at any cost, but he had to admit Niall was a big help to him also, and maybe it wasn’t too bad if he had someone who he knew wouldn’t get up and leave the firm the second they got another offer.

Then again… the offers that had made most people leave a while ago hadn’t come out of nowhere.

“No, come with me.” Liam told Niall after a moment of thinking it through. He didn’t really need Niall’s help right now, but that was beside the point.

He took him to his office, gave him some papers and folders to sort out while he was working at his desk, both of them staying completely silent as usual. Zayn did write Liam an email at some point asking if he could borrow Niall anytime soon, and Liam just wrote him back that he was still busy for now, but that he would send him down as soon as he was done.

A few hours passed like that, Liam found more things for Niall to do because things were always piling up anyways, especially right before the weekend.

“Would you mind staying longer today?” Liam asked when it was kinda getting late, and Zayn had given up on asking him whether he could send Niall to his office. If it had been really important, Liam would have sent him, no question.

“I, uh… “ Usually, Niall always agreed because he needed the money, so Liam was surprised when he seemed to hesitate, looking at him past his desktop. No idea what Niall’s financial situation was like, or where he actually lived now, but it couldn’t be that he had suddenly gotten rich from one single paycheck so far. “I can stay a bit longer, but I’ve- I’ve actually got somewhere to be later.”

“No problem, you can leave as soon as your shift is over.” Liam told him, kinda itching to ask where Niall would be, but that was none of his business. At all. 

Niall just nodded, biting his lip, and Liam looked away before the younger man carried on, as if he felt a need to explain himself. “I’ve actually… I’ve got a gig tonight, at this new bar.”

“Hm.” Liam made while typing, pretending as if he wasn’t paying any attention. This was not a conversation they should have been having, he had already said and asked Niall too many private things over the last couple weeks and he had sworn to himself to keep it professional from now on.

“It’s kinda cool, I’m a bit nervous ‘cos it’s opening night, uh… you know what I said a while ago? Like, if I ever had a gig again and- well, you’re welcome to come and- yeah.” Wait… “I mean, not that I think you’d want to or anything, just because I was joking around about it and I thought-“

“I don’t think that would be appropriate. But thank you.” Liam tried to sound strict, and he also wasn’t looking at Niall, and then, because he was suddenly a bit afraid he had been too nice, he added something else. “Actually, maybe you should go and see if Mr. Malik needs something before you leave. You’re done here.”

“Oh, alright, I, uh, I’ll just, get my things and- okay.” He was clearly taken aback, but Liam didn’t care, he just waited until Niall had hastily packed his things, wished him a nice weekend, before he left the office, his face clearly blushed as Liam threw one last glance at him. 

Had that been too harsh? Whatever, it’s not like Liam cared, right? Niall was just an employee, he didn’t get on Liam’s nerves as much as most of the others did, but that was really it.

\---------------

“But why can’t I watch uncle Niall play?!” Josie was throwing a fuss after dinner, her sister already having slept in a couple minutes ago in the other room.

Niall also wasn’t present for her whining, but she was loud enough so he could still hear her in the other room. Louis shouldn’t haven mentioned Niall’s gig to them during dinner, but now it was too late.

“Because you have to sleep, love. Uncle Niall can play something for you on the guitar tomorrow and-“

“But I wanna hear what he plays _tonight_. And where does he play? And why do I have to sleep now?!” She continued, and Niall would have laughed had Harry not been sitting next to him with a frustrated look on his face. 

“Josie, it’s your bedtime, and you know that we’re not making any exceptions. Uncle Niall is playing somewhere only adults are allowed to go, alright? You need to close your eyes and sleep, it’s getting late.” Louis’ voice sounded firm, but he was also keeping it low, probably because Clara was sleeping in the other room. “Goodnight, I love you.”

“I love you too, but-“

“Close your eyes, I’ll see you in the morning.” And then Niall heard him close the door, and close the living room door as well when he came to join them with a kind of exhausted look on his face as he looked at Harry first, and then at Niall. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”

“You shouldn’t have.” Harry agreed, and Niall didn’t say anything. He was a little freaked out about this gig, he had barely had time to practice and he also couldn’t do it now because the girls were supposed to be sleeping. “You nervous, Nialler?”

“A bit.” Niall shrugged, trying to play it down. He was really nervous, also, he had told Harry he wouldn’t have to come and watch him because his friend had offered multiple times, and then Louis had offered as well and Niall had told him that he would manage on his own also. He knew they were both tired because it was a Friday night, and he really couldn’t expect them to do anything more for him than they already were. “I’ll be fine, even if I screw up big time I don’t think it will really matter. I’m doing it for free anyways.”

“But you never know who is watching.” Harry tried to encourage him, and Niall made himself smile. He had long given up on that hope, of somebody being so impressed by him that they offered… no idea what. A contract? 

“Yeah, I’m mostly doing it for fun though. I don’t wanna forget how to play or sing, it’s my only hobby after all.” He joked, although, it was pretty much the truth.

“You’ve been working a lot lately.” Louis threw in, and yeah, he was definitely right, and Niall felt terrible about it. At the same time, he would have felt even more terrible had he not been working as much, it was a vicious cycle. “It would be totally okay if you took a step back and also focused on your music and-“

“No, no, I enjoy working there, I really do. And I definitely wanna go look at that flat your colleague mentioned to you.” Some colleague of Louis knew somebody, who knew someone or whatever, who had this flat for rent in a few weeks, and Niall was kinda hoping that it would work out because he couldn’t just keep on living here until the end of time.

“I only mentioned it to you because I didn’t wanna keep it a secret, but I didn’t mean you have to move out and-“

“Lou, I know what you meant, thank you. I wanna look at the flat, and I’m completely fine. Thanks to both of you.” Niall added, this time with a real smile that was immediately returned, and then, out of nowhere, Harry just blurted out the very last thing Niall would have expected.

“I’m pregnant.” WHAT?!

“Wh-“

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have just said it like that.” Harry immediately apologized, throwing a worried look at Louis, who also seemed surprised, but not as if he hadn’t known. “I don’t know why I did, I just- we’ve not even told our families, I’m three months along.”

“Haz, that’s- amazing, oh my god. I’m so happy for you.” Niall truly meant it, he was absolutely thrilled for his friends. And also that Harry was three months along, meaning it had happened before Niall had moved in here. Not that he heard them in their bedroom from here, but… “Now I know why you’ve been so moody lately.”

“See?! I told you the same.” Louis let out a laugh, a kinda loud one, and Niall had to bite the inside of his cheek.

“I’m not moody!” Harry immediately complained, but there was a smile tugging on his lips when Niall leaned over to hug him. “Just so you know, I didn’t tell you so you would move out, you’re our best friend, that’s why.”

“I know, I never thought you would’ve said it for that reason. Wow… you guys are about to be outnumbered.” He joked, and the other two laughed, and for a moment, Niall felt zero nervousness and pure happiness as they talked about babies and names and whatnot.

When it was time for Niall to leave though, he definitely started to overthink on his way to that bar, the owner having written him an email a couple days ago, because he had been a bartender at some place Niall used to play. Apparently, no one else had been willing to play a gig for free.

So Harry and Louis would soon have three kids, and a cat, and live their lives and be even more busy, and… well, maybe Niall would at least have his own place by then, and a stable job and… well, that was about it, really. Because he had given up hoping his music would take off, and he had given up hoping to find somebody to spend his life with. 

Maybe he simply wasn’t destined to be with somebody, maybe this was it? And honestly, he would still have to be thankful for it, because a lot of people had it worse than him, a lot of people had no job and no friends, nothing.

Now Niall just needed to try even harder at work, because there was no way he could be living with Harry and Louis still, or again, once they had three kids and would most likely have to move.

\----------------------

There was no one in this bar Niall knew, just the owner. He had thought about asking Zayn to come, but had then decided not to after embarrassing himself asking Liam. Hopefully he had just taken it as a joke, even though it hadn’t been one.

It was hard knowing what Liam was thinking, how much Niall was allowed to say and when, because sometimes they could talk somewhat normally, other times Liam was the rich CEO and Niall was basically acting as his assistant.

He wasn’t thinking about any of that playing at the bar though, the songs he was most comfortable with, the ones he wouldn’t have forgotten had he tried. Niall was super nervous at first, but it all soon went away, and he played longer than anticipated, getting applause after he was done, over an hour having passed without him even noticing.

“Thank you so much, my name is Niall Horan, you can also listen to my music on YouTube if you want. Have a good night.” And then Niall left the small make-shift stage, feeling a lot more energized and confident.

“Hey, good job! Think they loved it.” The owner came over immediately, a huge smile on his face, and Niall felt a little less useless in this world as he pet his shoulder. “I made sure to pass those flyers with your social media info around. You can drink anything you like, it’s on the house.”

“Thanks for letting me play.” Niall truly meant it, having to talk a bit louder now because the normal music was back on and people were talking. 

He actually thought about going home because it was 22:30, but then again, everyone was still asleep and what did it even matter if he stayed? He could have also walked back home from here, it was only a few bus stations from where Harry and Louis lived.

Niall ordered himself a beer, chatting to the bartender about his performance for maybe not even a minute before somebody sat next to him. 

“You’re not half as bad as I thought.”

“I-“

Niall started, turning his head thinking it was some random man about to compliment him, but when he looked into Liam Payne’s face, Niall thought he was straight up hallucinating.

“I, uh, I- How- how did you- did you watch the whole thing?” Niall couldn’t even think straight anymore, he was just staring at his boss with wide eyes, thoughts running wild. Liam looked so good not having a suit on for once, just a black button up shirt, no tie, his hair a little more messy than usually whenever they were at work.

“I missed a few songs, sadly.” He didn’t at all look sad about it, he was smiling, a cheeky smile Niall had never seen on him, and suddenly he felt really hot as he watched Liam turning to the bartender. “I’ll have a beer as well, thanks.”

“How did you know which bar?” He blurted out, not being able to take his eyes off of Liam or to let this sink in. Why had he come?

“You told me it’s a new bar, opening night, it was easy to google. It also said the time you were gonna play on their website.” Liam explained easily, still a little bit in that manner he did whenever they were at work and Niall asked the dumbest questions in the world. “I’m really impressed.”

“Thank you.” Niall told him automatically, what else would he have even said?! “Why- why did you change your mind? I thought you said it would be inappropriate and-“

“It is. But also, it’s Friday and I didn’t have as much to do as I thought.” He shrugged, apparently having decided he didn’t care anymore. Was he on drugs? Is that how he always managed to work late hours without sleeping?

Niall didn’t know what to say to that, so he made sure to take a few too many gulps of his beer because it almost made him choke, not even waiting for Liam to get his. 

“Did you write all those songs yourself?” The older man kept asking, sounding genuinely interested.

“I did, yeah… most of them are older though, I didn’t wanna take a risk, I’ve not played for anyone in a while… only my best friends’ daughters.” Niall recalled with a quick laugh, all of that feeling ages in the past.

“How old are they?” Did he knew they were talking about Harry’s children? … did Liam even know he was publishing Harry’s novels? Doubtful.

“Four and six. The six year old has learned a few songs… Josie. The younger one almost pulled the strings off my guitar.” Niall joked, a little desperate to make Liam laugh at this point. God, he was truly pathetic, this night wasn’t at all turning into what he had thought it would, like, not in a bad way or anything, but in a surprising one. “I taught myself the guitar, but I don’t know if I’m a good teacher myself.”

“Well, they’re kids, I’m sure when they’re older you could try again.” He was still smiling, and Niall nodded, literally having to tear his eyes away so he wouldn’t watch Liam like a creep while he was drinking. 

“If they’re still that interested then… Josie almost didn’t wanna go to sleep tonight, she wanted to come and watch me play here.” Niall kept rambling, just because he didn’t want the conversation to die but he also couldn’t help still wondering why Liam had even decided to show up. Pretty sure he wasn’t the kinda person to go to bars or to go out in general. 

“Understandable, I can truly say she missed out.” Liam told him in between sips, sounding serious but he was probably just trying to be nice. “Do you live with them?”

“Uh, yes, for now.” Niall shrugged, not really wanting to get deeper into it right now and he was sure Liam could figure it out for himself. He knew Niall’s CV after all, knew more about him than some other people maybe. “I like having the kids around me and spending time with them, but I really admire my friends being able to handle them every day.”

“Hmm.” Liam made, drinking some more, and Niall felt like an idiot for saying so much crap. “I think it’s really impressive Styles manages to write at such a fast pace with two young kids at home.”

“Yeah, he’s… something else.” Niall agreed. He had almost talked about Harry’s pregnancy, but had luckily stopped himself at the very last second. Not like Liam would have cared probably, but it was really not Niall’s story to tell. “They’re great parents.”

“I can imagine.” Liam was probably lying now, because how would he have even known? But Niall didn’t say anything else, he had already said too much at this point. Maybe it was the beer loosening his tongue because he wasn’t drinking anything at all lately, maybe it was still the energy boost from performing again or maybe… maybe it was just because he was still a little brain dead from Liam coming to watch him. 

It was funny really, because just looking at Liam, he didn’t look like he fit in here, at all, he looked too expensive somehow, but maybe Niall was just biased, because he knew what Liam was like in professional settings. Honestly, Niall had thought that was how Liam usually was, that he had no other personality outside of work because… he was _always_ at work after all. 

“Can I get another one, please?” Niall asked the bartender as soon as he had finished his beer, and then, in the heat of the moment, he changed his mind. “Actually, can you give me something stronger?”

Liam didn’t say anything about it, and Niall felt no need to explain himself, but his cheeks surely turned a little bit hot.

“Can I ask you something?” Niall had finally built up the courage after finishing half of his new drink that honestly tasted like coughing syrup, but at least it was helping him to relax.

“Yes?” He sounded unsure, but it wasn’t a no, right?

“What made you want to become self-employed and have this publishing firm?” It was what Niall had been wondering for a while, he knew Liam was 29, that he would turn 30 soon, so he was still a bit young to be this successful really. Or maybe he was just a genius at what he was doing, and had more motivation and drive than Niall would ever have.

“I guess I got that from my father. He owns his own business.” Liam explained calmly, and yeah that made a lot of sense, but somehow Niall had to laugh.

“Your parents must be really proud of you.” He didn’t mean for it to come out sarcastic, but somehow it still did. Maybe also a little sad.

“I don’t know if they are. My mother is dead and I’ve not spoken to my father in years.” Wait-

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” Liam shrugged, as if it truly didn’t matter, but now Niall felt super terrible as he stared at him, into his completely blank face.

“My parents hate me.” Niall told him for no reason at all, and he wished he could have taken it back the very next second. 

They looked at each other after that, both probably realizing they had kind of overstepped a line with this conversation, but then again, they had kinda already overstepped it by Liam showing up here though, so Niall didn’t feel responsible. Especially because he had had a bit too much to drink as well to still have a serious conversation or consider any kinda consequences.

“Do you want something else to do drink as well? I’m getting all the drinks for free because they didn’t pay me for this gig anyways.” He laughed, trying to move on from this uncomfortable situation.

“I’d love to, but thanks, I’ve come here with my car, I still gotta drive home.” Or back to the office? “… how are you getting home?”

“Uh, maybe the bus, if it still goes, or I’ll just walk, it’s not far.” It really wasn’t, although it might feel like it in an hour or two. “Can I ask you something else?”

This time, Liam didn’t say anything, he just lifted his eyebrows and waited, and for a moment, Niall thought about whether he really should have asked this, but then he just went ahead.

“You and Zayn are really good friends, right? And you just call each other by your last names at work so it sounds more professional?” Well, at least that made Liam smile, for the split of a second.

“Zayn is an employee like everybody else, I don’t wanna give anybody the impression that he’s above them just because we’re friends.” And yet he was coming to some bar to listen to one of his employee’s gigs? “Why are you so interested in that?”

“I don’t know, I was just wondering. I was also wondering why everyone keeps talking about a shortage of staff and why you’re hiring all these interns because it seems everyone is really stressed out all the time and-“

“Well, it’s a good thing those are my problems to worry about then, right?” Okay, he was not gonna keep on telling Niall things, that was for sure. 

“Right.” Niall agreed, feeling a little bad about having been so nosy. 

“So can I ask something?” Liam switched the topic, and Niall nodded as he took another sip from his drink, because he didn’t really have much of a choice, did he? Especially with that grin forming on Liam’s face. “What was this all about, about you working at a dog salon?”

“Oh my god.” Niall groaned while the other man laughed, but he didn’t mind telling him about it, not at all. In fact, as Niall just started rambling on and on about his previous jobs, he was kinda enjoying himself, because Liam seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say, and he was laughing, so really, Niall had already won.

He never looked at his phone to check the time or anything, and the place obviously didn’t empty because it was a Friday night, so that was no indicator either for how long they had been sitting there. Niall wasn’t drunk, although he could feel the alcohol because he wasn’t really drinking on a regular basis, at all, and it must’ve been ages since Liam had finished his beer, so he was probably completely sober again. 

Niall kinda forgot who he was talking to at some point, he just kept going, telling Liam about his failed music career, about how he would be looking at a flat soon, how he had met Harry and how old they had been, how his old roommate had kicked him out, everything no normal person would have told their boss, but here they were.

And Liam didn’t stop him, quite the opposite actually, he kept Niall going until the moment he glanced at his watch that looked like it was probably made of platinum or something.

“It’s almost 1, I should probably leave.” He concluded, and Niall started to feel disappointment settle in his stomach, but he simply nodded. “I’ll drive you home. Unless you wanna stay.”

“I don’t, but you really don’t have t-“

“I do, you were drinking and there are no more busses.” Well, he knew that only too well by now, didn’t he? 

The bartender didn’t let Liam pay because he had been with Niall, and Niall felt a bit stupidly proud of that as they left the bar. Well, walking was a little bit harder now than it should’ve been, but Niall was still completely fine as he sat in the passenger seat of Liam’s car, his guitar in the trunk. 

“I think I know the address this time.” Niall joked, but he honestly suddenly wasn’t sure anymore.

“I don’t think I’m gonna need it, I remembered the way.” Was that comforting or not? Niall wasn’t sure. “As soon as you move, don’t forget to tell Zayn your new address so he can change it in the system.”

“It’ll probably be ages until then anyways… ‘m kinda nervous about this, I’ve never really lived on my own, only with roommates.” Niall switched the topic as Liam started the car and the younger man was just staring out into darkness. 

“I enjoy living on my own.” Was all Liam said, and Niall didn’t know why he was surprised about this. Had he genuinely thought Liam could uphold a relationship with his workaholic tendencies?

“I enjoy being alone sometimes, but I don’t know how I’ll feel about it when I’ll have to be… maybe I’ll just spend all my free time at work as well.” Who knew? He needed the money anyways.

“As well?” Liam asked, and Niall wasn’t even embarrassed to shrug at this point. “I don’t spend all my free time at work.”

“You don’t?” It wasn’t a joke, it was actually a surprised reaction, because what was he talking about? _Everyone_ knew he did? 

“I didn’t tonight, did I?” Fair enough, but also…

“Why didn’t you?” Niall still hadn’t found an answer to his question, and when Liam hesitated to tell him, he was doubting whether he would ever solve that mystery.

One thing was for sure though, he definitely did not expect the answer he got, even if he was slightly too tipsy to properly react.

“I thought it would be beneficial for us to get along. I decided which interns to hire and I will send one of them to work with Zayn. You’re only gonna be working for me now.” Wait… so he had just come because of that?

“But Zayn-“

“I will consult with him on Monday.” Liam clarified, and then he cleared his throat, as if the next part was really hard to get over his lips. “You’re allowed to decline and stay with Zayn, it won’t have any consequences and I’m not trying to pressure you, at all. I simply feel this would work best.”

“I- I’m not declining.” Niall said it a bit too quickly. “But why would you want me to work for just you?”

“I think we work well together.” Was all he got as an answer, although that truly wasn’t much of an answer at all. “You can think about it if you want. I don’t want you to agree just because I’m your boss.”

“I’m not. I like working for you.” More than for Zayn, but Niall wasn’t going to say that, he would’ve felt bad. Then again, why would he feel bad that Zayn was going to get an intern that actually knew what they were doing and had gotten an education to get to this place, and not been hired out of desperation? “I just… I don’t feel qualified.”

“Well, you don’t have to.” Great. “So, you’re okay with it?”

“Yea- Yes. I am.” Niall agreed one more time, no idea how many times Liam wanted to ask him, what the hell did he think? His office alone was way better than Zayn’s. Not that that was the reason for Niall to say yes, but if anyone asked… “So, I’m like… your personal assistant.”

“If you wanna call it that.” Liam snorted, and the younger man felt stupid, but what else would he have called it? He wasn’t really ever working on things himself, he was just helping out. “I won’t put it on your badge, though.”

“I can live with that.” Niall shrugged and the older man laughed, another accomplishment. “… are you going back to the office to work after you dropped me off?”

“No? It’s one in the morning.” That hadn’t stopped him before, had it? “I don’t just work, you know. Even when I’m late at the office.”

“Then what do you do?” Niall blurted out, because he was genuinely interested, but before Liam could have answered, he couldn’t stop himself from rambling on. “Do you watch TV shows and movies? Zayn said something about you being into fantasy shows when I started my internship. Or do you write books yourself and-“

“That’s what he said?” Hm, maybe Niall shouldn’t have said that.

“Just the part about the TV shows and the movies, because when I had to read those scripts he told me to look for fantasy stuff.” Right, it was definitely time for Niall to shut his mouth and not stab Zayn in the back. “I mean, he didn’t say you watch that at the office, I was just wondering because always you’re there for so long and-“

“Maybe you shouldn’t wonder about my life so much.” Liam snapped, now suddenly sounding upset and Niall barely dared to throw a look at him, immediately feeling taken aback.

“Sorry.” Was all he said after a moment, rather quietly as well. Way to screw this up, huh? Then again, he didn’t even really know what _this_ was. Or what it was turning into.

They were almost at Harry’s and Louis’ now, and on one hand Niall was kinda glad, on the other… he had no reason wanting to go and lie on this couch. He also had no reason wanting to spend more time in this car with his boss making him angry on accident though when he was completely dependent on the job.

“Thank you for driving me home.” Niall told him as soon as Liam had stopped the car, neither of them having spoken another word.

“You’re welcome.” Liam told him, with a pretty cold voice, and Niall took it as a hint to get out of this car quickly.

He fumbled a bit with the seatbelt, and then almost lost his phone between the seat and the door, and when he finally had his hand on the handle to get out, he never actually managed to open the door.

“Wait.” Liam had leaned over to so quickly that Niall’s heart stopped for a moment from having him so close, their fingers and sides brushing as Liam held the door closed, and the younger man froze breathing in Liam’s scent. They had never been this close before, and yes, Niall could always smell Liam, was always aware of his presence especially when they were in the car together, in such a tight space, but this… this was different. “I… “

Liam never continued, he also just froze, didn’t lean back either, and the car was dark, the streetlights barely illuminating his face as their eyes met. There was an undefinable expression on Liam’s face, all Niall knew was that he had been drinking, it was one in the morning, and Liam’s scent was stronger and more appealing to him than of any alpha he had met. Ever.

So naturally, Niall did the unthinkable and closed those few centimeters between them, kissing Liam on the fucking lips.

It took only a few seconds before Niall realized what he was doing, pulling back only to see his own shocked expression mirrored on Liam’s face.

“Fuck… “ Niall breathed, not knowing what else to say or do, and Liam’s grip on the door had gotten weak, so Niall simply pushed his arm away, scrambling to get out of the car, throwing the door shut behind himself as he half jogged to the building Harry and Louis lived in.

He had to fumble the keys into the lock like a complete idiot, his heart racing as he had finally made it inside the building, leaning against the closed door to take a breath, pressing his eyes shut. Fuck, fuck, fuck. What had he done?! And why?! Yes, Liam was attractive, yes, Niall liked him, but FUCK, he was Niall’s boss!

Now he could forget that job and that flat and he would have to forever-

Niall’s torturing thoughts were interrupted by his phone vibrating in his back pocket, he felt numb and breathless as he reached for it, having to blink a few times before he could actually properly see the screen, still leaning against the door.

_01:10 Liam Payne  
Your forgot your guitar in my car._

That was all, it said nothing else, and Niall bit his bottom lip, not even allowing himself to take a breath as he turned around to open the door again, walking straight back out with his heart hammering in his throat. This was a disaster, a tragedy, surely the lowest point of Niall’s life, and suddenly, he felt more sober than he would have liked.

Liam had gotten out of his car as well, he had also opened the trunk of his car and was just waiting for Niall to come closer, the younger man refusing to look at him, his cheeks burning in the poor street light. 

“I thought you might need it over the weekend.” Liam told him, as if nothing at all had just happened, as if Niall hadn’t just _kissed_ him. 

“Yeah.” Niall half choked out, leaning down to collect his guitar, but then he stopped as he felt a hand on his lower back. 

“Niall.” He had never called Niall that, only by his last name, at all times, the entire night, and now they were almost as close as they had been in the car and yet again, Niall couldn’t breathe. “Are you drunk?”

“Not at all.” Niall half whispered and it was true, his mind had never felt clearer than right now, he was hyper aware of every single touch, every smell, every sound. “I was never drunk.”

“Then look at me.” The older man half demanded, and Niall didn’t dare to disobey him, also didn’t want to.

Liam’s hand was still on his lower back and Niall felt him scrunching his jacket in his fist as they looked at each other, his mouth feeling dry. The look on Liam’s face and in his eyes gave Niall shivers, it was so intense, as if he wanted to see whether Niall could hold the gaze, whether he really wasn’t drunk. 

“I’m not gonna do anything.” Liam told him after a moment, but he didn’t let go, didn’t step back, and Niall realized that he was leaving it up to him, that he was unsure whether Niall was lying about being sober or not.

It felt like some kinda dream, or as if Niall had hit is head really hard, as if he was moving in slow motion when he kissed Liam again, his hand automatically grabbing onto the side of Liam’s face as the older man pulled him in closer, kissing him back harder than Niall would have thought. It didn’t last long, but when Liam’s tongue slipped past Niall’s lips and he kissed him deeply, it made the younger man’s knees shivery and he had to hold onto Liam so they wouldn’t give in.

When they pulled apart, Niall was sure only a few seconds had passed, and he wanted more, so much more, but Liam was keeping him from leaning in again. “This… is wrong.”

“Okay.” Niall told him stupidly, because screw it, he didn’t care, it had already happened. “I… my guitar.”

It seemed Liam didn’t want to let him go, but he did eventually, watching Niall move like a robot as he leaned down to get his guitar, slinging it over his shoulder, already missing Liam’s touch, the way he had tasted. 

“I really am not drunk.” He told Liam one more time, just so he knew, so he wouldn’t think he had taken advantage of him or anything because it seemed like that had been his concern before. Also, maybe a little bit because Niall was hoping they would continue this, but he didn’t dare to say anything himself. 

“You should go upstairs.” Was all Liam said, and Niall nodded, a little hurt that the older man wasn’t looking at him anymore as he closed the trunk of his car, clearly regretting what they had done. 

“Okay… goodnight.” Niall told him, not receiving an answer, so he simply turned around to leave.

Every step felt harder than the next, and Niall refrained from turning back around as he entered the building, hurrying up the stairs and trying to be quiet as he entered the apartment. It took two more minutes of him sitting down on the couch for it all to come crashing down on Niall, and he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t stand not knowing what was going to happen now.

So he just sat there, relieving the kiss, or kisses, again and again, the look on Liam’s face, what he had said, and how, imaging what would happen on Monday, the consequences of it all, and Niall felt crushed by the unknowing, the fear that not only would he lose his job, he had also screwed up whatever friendship he and Liam could have had. Of course that was stupid to worry about now, Liam was his boss and there shouldn’t have been anything between them, in any way, and yet…

Niall was in the kitchen drinking water, trying to calm down when he felt his phone vibrating again, and this time, he barely dared to check it.

_01:25 Liam Payne  
I don’t think I can just drive home and sleep now_

So what was he trying to say with that? Was he still downstairs, in front of the building, sitting in his car? Niall had no idea, all he knew was that his feet were kinda automatically leading him back to the door, slipping on his shoes and not bothering with a jacket this time as he went back downstairs, more hope growing inside of him than he would have liked as he pushed the door of the building open yet again.

Liam’s car was definitely still there, the engine turn off though, and Niall stared for a moment before walking over, doing the only logical thing. Sitting down in the passenger seat and pulling the door closed behind himself because it was freezing outside.

There was silence filling the vehicle and it was almost unbearable. There were a thousand things Niall could have said, but all he could think about was that he truly did not know what he was doing here right now or where this would go.

“Nobody can know about this.” Liam finally broke the silence, and well, that had kinda been obvious.

“Okay.” Niall told him, to calm his mind maybe, but who would he have told anyways? Zayn? Harry and Louis? 

“Is that all you have to say?” The older man kept pushing and really, what was his problem? HE wasn’t saying anything either!

“Why are you getting angry?” Niall gave back, because honestly, Liam had kissed him back, Liam had basically told him to come back outside. TWICE.

“I’m not getting angry.” Liam snapped, sounding even more angry. “I just- this shouldn’t have happened.”

“Okay. But it did.” They couldn’t go back and change it now, could they? This was ridiculous, and why did Niall have to be the voice of reason now when Liam was the businessman? 

“You’re not like- you don’t like me like that. Right?” The _right?_ made it sound as if it would’ve been the worst thing to happen in this entire world. Niall was just a little offended and maybe slightly hurt, but then again, what for?

“No.” He told Liam, and it was true. He wasn’t like, in love with him or whatever, he was interested in him, yes, he thought he was attractive, yes, but that was not what Liam had been asking, was it? Niall didn’t feel a need to ask the same question back, he already knew the answer.

“Okay.” The older man let out a sigh, as if he was relieved, tapping on his steering wheel as if he was nervous or something. Maybe he was, who knew if he had ever gotten in a situation like that, Niall surely hadn’t. Then again… he had definitely gotten into situations stranger than this one, less pleasant than kissing his very attractive boss.

“It, uh… “ Niall started, looking down at his lap before shrugging. “It was still nice.”

No answer, but Liam couldn’t deny it because he had initiated the second time, even if he had left it up to Niall to do something about it. 

They didn’t speak another word for a while, Niall wondered whether he should have left, but upon thinking about it a couple more seconds, he suddenly realized something. “I forgot my keys upstairs.”

“What?” Liam asked as if he hadn’t even been listening.

“I forgot my keys. I can’t get back into the building.” Niall explained, feeling a bit of panic rising inside of him, but then he quickly calmed down again. Who even cared anymore at this point. “I can’t ring the bell, everyone’s sleeping, and the girls would be up all night.”

“Are you being serious?” The older man again sounded kind of upset, but Niall just nodded anyways, watching Liam sigh as he leaned his forehead against the steering wheel. What was wrong with this man, honestly? “What now?”

“I don’t know… I don’t even have a jacket.” Niall continued, because it was the truth, but when Liam lifted his head to look at him, he looked anything besides amused. “What?”

“I just can’t believe you.” Liam told him in the most monotone voice ever, right before putting on his seatbelt and starting the engine. “Buckle up.”

“Wh- Where are you driving?” Niall did what he had been told, but he was really confused at the same time.

“Where do you think?” The older man half spat back, as if he hated doing this, as if he didn’t even want Niall in his car, as if Niall was forcing him to take him with him to wherever he was going.

Well, Niall kinda had an idea where they were driving to, but he couldn’t be sure and he also didn’t dare to guess and be wrong and embarrass himself. Even more than he already had.

It was the longest and most quiet drive of Niall’s life, it was also so dark outside that he had 0 clue where they were going, he just knew that at some point he was ready to just ask Liam whether he was about to kidnap him when they were driving through an area of the city only rich people lived in. Well, made sense. 

Liam stopped the car in front of some massive gates, letting down his window to type in some long ass figure code onto a keyboard outside of it before the gates opened and Niall thought he was genuinely dreaming. Could it be he had gone upstairs and fallen straight asleep, and none of this was really happening?

Liam’s house wasn’t THAT big, but it was still huge to Niall as he parked the car in the garage. To the younger man’s surprise, he did only have one car, so maybe he wasn’t even that rich and Niall was just so poor that he would’ve been impressed by anything at all. 

“Do you live here?” It was the first time Niall spoke as he got out of the car, his eyes hurting a bit because of how well lit the garage was.

“No, I just happen to know the code and have the keys to a strangers’ house.” Okay, not a good time to ask dumb questions, it seemed Liam’s capacity of handling Niall’s stupidity was already used.

They entered the house through the garage, and Niall was quick to take off his shoes when Liam did the same, kinda not being able to believe what he saw when the older man turned on the lights, throwing his jacket on some counter and hanging up the keys in two smooth movements before he wandered off.

Obviously Niall had to follow him like a lost puppy, but he almost ran into some sculpture on the way because he was so busy taking this all in. Some people really lived like this? Like, this wasn’t just something from a movie? This was… Liam’s _home_? And he spent all his time at work still?

“Do you want some water?” Liam offered as he walked up to the fridge, and Niall only brought out a _no, thanks_ , because he was staring out of the glass front in Liam’s living room that was overlooking the city lights. 

There were barely any personal things in this house, no family pictures on the walls, just some abstract art and paintings, sculptures and fake plants. The furniture looking as if it never got used, as if no one had ever sat on that couch, as if Liam had truly just broken into this house. A house not made for living in it, but to store and showcase wealth.

“This is insane.” Niall told him, because he couldn’t believe it. Liam must have had a massive garden as well, but it was too dark outside to really see it and Niall was also way too impressed by the view. “How long have you been living in this house?”

“Only about a year.” Liam told him, shrugging, he was drinking water while leaning against the kitchen island, honestly kind of looking like a douchebag right now. The lightening in here was way better than at the bar, so Niall could fully take him in, his perfectly styled yet messy looking hair, the fucking clothes, the big ass watch, that smug look on his face…

God, Niall wanted to smack him but also kind of be smacked _by_ him. This made no sense.

“I would never wanna leave if I lived her.” Niall was speaking the truth, but it only made the older man shrug as he swallowed, loudly squeezing the bottle in his hand as soon as he had emptied it. 

“It gets boring, the view never changes and it’s dead quiet.” He explained like some rich asshole while going to throw away the bottle and Niall kinda hated him in that moment, but he was also too mesmerized by the way Liam’s body was moving. “I’ll show you where you can sleep.”

Sleep?

Niall followed Liam through the house again, up the stairs after the older man had turned off the lights downstairs and pressed some button that automatically brought down the blinds. It was unclear whether Liam was still upset with him or not, all Niall knew was he didn’t care anymore because he was busy staring, trying to make photocopies inside his brain.

There was another set of stairs, but they didn’t walk up, Liam simply went to the end of the hallway, opening up the door and flicking on the lights. “It’s the guest room, there’s a bathroom through that door, you can use anything you find.”

“Um, thank you, I-“

“Okay, great. My bedroom is on the other end of the hallway if you need anything.” Wait, what?!

“But-“

Niall started, but Liam was already walking away from him, rather quickly as well, just leaving him standing there, in the fucking doorframe. Was he really just about to sleep here? In his boss’ guestroom, who he had just kissed twice? 

Apparently.

Though he wanted to follow Liam, Niall slowly entered the room, looking around for a bit, checking out the bathroom as well, because what the hell? He could hear Liam shower from down the hallway, but Niall didn’t think of doing the same, he was trying to sort out his thoughts while staring at himself in the mirror, feeling strange, embarrassed, but also… none of this was his fault only. 

And clearly, he wasn’t the only one who had wanted it, and there was no way he could just go to sleep now, in this massive bed, after having slept on a couch for over a month.

Liam must have long ended his shower as Niall walked down the hallway, his palms sweaty as he stood in front of what he knew must have been his bedroom door, not daring to knock. And then he just did, because what else was he gonna do?!

“Yes?” Liam answered through the wall, just like he did in his office at work.

Niall opened the door slowly, everything he had prepared to say slipping his mind when he saw Liam sitting on his bed, shirtless, with messy hair, his laptop in front of him. He had tattoos? Fuck. “I-I- I feel like- I think we should talk about this.”

“Okay. Talk.” Liam closed his laptop, putting it on his bedside table, just sitting there waiting, emotionless. What an asshole. A hot asshole, but still.

“I didn’t mean just me, I meant- both of us. We should have a conversation, I didn’t come here to hold a monologue, I just- I can’t just ignore any of it and go to sleep in your guestroom, that’s crazy and… “ And what? “Can you? Just forget about it, I mean?”

“I already did.” Alright, that was IT, that smug look on his face… Niall was about to explode, SCREW who this man was. If he wanted to upset Niall, he could have it.

“Oh, yeah? So if you didn’t even care or want it, why did you text me TWICE to get me to come back outside? Why did you even touch me when I just wanted to get my guitar, huh?! _You’re_ the one who came to see me perform, _you’re_ the one who asked me to work just for you, _you’re_ the one who put his tongue in my mouth and _you_ -“

“I got it, you can shut up now.” Liam interrupted, suddenly getting up, and for the split of a second, Niall thought he was going to come over and slap him or something, but the look on Liam’s face said something completely different as he stopped, standing so close to Niall that the younger man forgot to breathe. “I’m going to kiss you.”

“Oka-“

Niall never managed to finish that word before Liam had already cupped his face in both hands and was pressing their lips together, pretty much erasing all that anger in Niall’s head as he kissed the older man back, relaxing his jaw with a sigh to allow Liam’s tongue entrance once more. He was a fantastic kissed, as far as Niall could judge with his little experience, and he never wanted them to stop, his body was arching towards Liam’s, wanting to be close to him, touch him, anything at all.

Niall knew they were going to land on Liam’s bed even before they did. He barely even noticed the fall because Liam was holding him so close, not breaking the kiss as they moved on the bed so they’d both have enough space. Not that that was hard, judging by how big the mattress was.

Liam was almost naked apart from his sweatpants, and Niall threw all his shyness over board while they were snogging and Liam was on top of him, exploring the older man’s naked upper body with his hands, anywhere at all he could have possibly reached. Now that they were so close, Niall couldn’t smell anything at all besides the older man, could only taste him, clinging to him while they were kissing, tongues moving together.

When Liam’s hand slipped underneath Niall’s shirt to move it up, Niall felt shivers all over his body, not even thinking of stopping him because right now, he honestly couldn’t have thought of anything else he could have wanted more than this, screw all the consequences. All of them.

Niall felt his body reacting to being with an Alpha almost immediately, the pressure being created between their bodies, Liam’s tongue literally fucking into his mouth and Niall’s fingers almost hurting because of how desperately he was holding onto the older man.

They did break the kiss, briefly, both of them breathing heavily, just looking at each other for the tiniest second as Liam went along to half rip off Niall’s shirt, probably tearing the hem right before he was pressing their lips back together, his hand cupping the side of Niall’s face he slowly guided him to lie back down again.

“Are you-“

“Yes.” Niall brought out between kisses, not wanting to interrupt what was happening, also not even having an idea what Liam had been about to ask, but yes to all of it.

There were no more questions, Niall’s body was on fire when Liam sloppily kissed down his jaw and neck, to his collarbones while his hands were already busy unzipping Niall’s pants while Niall’s heart was about to jump out of his chest. His back was arching and he was keeping his eyes closed, biting his lip bleeding from how good it felt to have Liam’s mouth against his heated skin, sucking a bruise here and there before completely undressing the younger boy with a few swift movements.

Niall was so eager to get Liam naked as well, it was almost embarrassing how fast his hands were on the hem of his sweatpants, bumping against his erection and making the older man hiss as he pushed Niall’s hands away, taking it upon himself to undress while Niall was watching, with his chest heaving, immediately reaching back out for Liam afterwards.

Their kiss was anything but soft now, their teeth were clashing at one point, Niall had a death lock around Liam’s neck to keep him close while the older man pushed Niall’s legs apart, so far that it burned. In a really good way though.

He kept his hand on the inside of one of Niall’s thighs to make sure he stayed that way, and Niall whined against his lips when he felt the hot head of Liam’s swollen erection pressing against his entrance. Niall’s body was made for welcoming an Alpha inside, he was already dripping with slick and the glide was more than easy, still almost punching all the air out of him because it had definitely been a while since this had happened.

Liam bottomed out with one single thrust, grunting against Niall’s mouth as they kept on snogging messily while he was pushing in and out of the younger man. It felt so fucking good Niall could barely believe it, he was twisting his fingers in Liam’s hair now, more breathing against him than really kissing him as the older man’s thrusts were getting harder and deeper, his knot starting to swell after just a few minutes.

“Fuck… fuck… _fuck, Liammm_ … please, ple- harder… “ Niall was whining in between moans, having basically no control anymore about what was coming over his lips, his breaths becoming panicky when Liam started to hit all the right spots, piercing his prostate with every single push. “ _I’m g-_ ”

“Don’t you dare.” Liam half growled, and Niall whined, the tone of voice Liam was using turning him on even more. “Hold back.”

“I c-“

“Niall.” Liam told him in a firm voice, his thrusts slowing, which only made Niall whine even more, almost wanting to cry because of how oversensitive he was. He knew Liam was just teasing him, but god damn, it was so fucking hot to see him angry and dominant. “Does it feel good, hm? Tell me.”

“S-So fucking g-good… “ Niall half sobbed, wanting to wrap his legs around the back of Liam’s to get him to thrust in deeper, but the older man was pressing down his thigh into the mattress, making the younger man squirm. “Please… “

“Look at me.” Liam demanded, and Niall blinked open his eyes, his arms starting to become weak as he looked into the older man’s red and sweaty face while he was still thrusting into him, slowly now, so that Niall could feel the size of his knot whenever he was pulling it out and screwing it back in, stretching him out. “Don’t cum. Not yet.”

“ _Aaah_ \- fuck… “ Was all that left Niall’s mouth when Liam suddenly wrapped a hand around his own erection, barely moving it, but at least he was starting to pick up pace again. “Li-“

“Keep looking at me.” Liam told him, so Niall tried his best to do so, his toes curling and his legs burning as he tried to hold back even though he thought he would explode any second. “Fuck… you feel so good… you’re so tight and- _aah_ … “

Liam was the one who pressed his eyes shut as he started to fuck into Niall more quickly again, his hand still loosely around Niall’s erection when he pushed his almost fully expanded knot in one last time, coming inside the younger man with a grunt, locking them together. It was too much for Niall to take, feeling Liam pushing his load inside of him, and he came between their bodies, pressing his lips against the older man’s again to kiss him through it, everything feeling that much more intense.

There were a few moments of bliss, while Niall was riding out his orgasm and Liam was still coming inside of him, breathing heavily against his skin. And then, that bliss very quickly turned into panic as Niall realized what they had just done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello from quarantine guys :p or maybe not actually, because all of austria is under lockdown since today but i went on a two hour walk and it seemed the entire neighborhood was outside also, so who even knows anymore! strange times
> 
> this chapter was not planned to turn out this way at all, they werent supposed to have sex already but you know what? everything is kinda weird right now and my professors arent willing to put material online and i just felt like turning this fic dirty so i hope you enjoyed it :p and will continue to do so! also, i wanted to make it very clear that niall was NOT drunk, he had something to drink, yes, but he was 100% aware of what was happening by the time it happened. im mentioning this because i had discussions with people on other fics about this
> 
> please, wherever you are, try to stay away from people, and wash your hands and dont touch anything and just... be careful! i care about you guys and im so thankful for all of your support, whether it was for years or just this fic, i appreciate every single comment and kudo and i could never tell you how much it all means to me. please take care of yourselves, all of you! especially everyone in the countries where the government refuses to take action. <3


	4. Chapter 4

“Fuck… “ Was all Niall could think of saying afterwards, making the mistake of moving a little bit and feeling where they were stuck together, keeping Liam’s cum inside of him. 

The older man was holding his weight on his elbows now, having his face momentarily buried in the pillow before he lifted his head once more, looking both kind of exhausted but also ready to go again, which was a little confusing to Niall. At the same time, he could barely focus on anything other right now than the fact that he could _feel_ Liam’s cum inside of him, could feel the pressure of his knot keeping them in this position, stuck together.

With his fucking BOSS. Niall was screwed, literally.

There were a few moments of silence between them, and they just looked at one another and Niall kinda had the urge to kiss Liam again, but now he wasn’t sure anymore whether he was allowed, and was he even allowed to call Liam by his first name still and-

“I can almost hear your thoughts running wild.” The older man commented after a moment, and Niall thought he sounded kind of amused really, but it was hard to tell. Also because his dick was inside of Niall and his stomach felt swollen and- anyways. Not a situation anyone wanted to find themselves in with their boss, even if he was as good looking as Liam. 

“Sorry.” Niall apologized quickly and his face would have surely gotten red had it not already been from what they had done. 

“For what?” And then Liam just laughed, all carefree, as if nothing had even happened, and Niall’s mouth felt dry. He could feel Liam everywhere at once, could smell him, and still taste him, and the worst part of it all was that it felt good. It felt so fucking good he wanted to do it all over again, or stay like this, for as long as possible. “… you’re okay with what just happened, right? I didn’t-“

“No, I- I’m okay with it all.” Niall quickly interrupted him, because he had wanted this just as much, if not even more and fuck- it was so hard to talk when Liam was looking at him, when he had his fucking dick inside of him. Jesus Christ. “How- how long do you think we’ll be, uh, stuck together like this?”

“Couple minutes, I-… “ The older man broke off then, his expression suddenly getting shocked. “Wait, you HAVE been knotted before, right?! This wasn’t- and you’re on pills… right?”

“Yes, ‘course…. To both. But… it’s been a while and, uh… “ Well, and the other times hadn’t been like this, but Niall really didn’t wanna talk about it, not now, probably not ever. 

Suddenly, he felt pretty damn embarrassed about everything that had just happened, everything that had left his mouth, every word, and… every sound. 

“Niall.” Liam said his name firmly, so much that Niall didn’t dare looking away again as their eyes met. He sounded both strict but also caring, and Niall wasn’t sure if he was hallucinating, but he thought he saw worry in the older man’s face, even if just for a moment. “Calm down.”

“I am calm.” Niall lied quickly, realizing his mistake, but what was he supposed to do, he was naked in Liam’s bed, when he should’ve been at home, but he wasn’t, because he had forgotten his keys after kissing Liam TWICE and now-

The older man put an end to Niall’s thoughts going crazy by simply kissing him again, not even softly or shyly, he immediately went for it, putting his tongue back inside the younger man’s mouth and Niall only needed a few seconds before he had forgotten about everything once more, wrapping his arms around Liam’s neck to hold him closer.

It was less nerve wrecking like this, to be snogging while they were waiting for Liam’s knot to go down, and Niall had almost forgotten that they weren’t just making out for fun when the older man pulled out of him, and Niall couldn’t help but pull a face at the feeling. Now that Liam had moved, Niall could tell his stomach was definitely sticking out a bit and he had no idea what to think about that because he was still busy licking his lips.

“Here.” Liam blocked his sight by throwing his covers over Niall, probably to save him the embarrassment and it honestly did help quite a bit. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“I- okay.” Niall told him, trying not to stare at Liam’s naked body as he got out of bed, but then he still ended up staring anyways. God damn it. 

He was already halfway across the room when he stopped, still butt naked, the look on his face cheeky if Niall had had to describe it. “I mean, you’re welcome to join.”

Without waiting for an answer, Liam walked off into his bathroom, while Niall was just lying there, his face hot and sweaty, trying to come to terms with what had just happened. He couldn’t help it that he had a very vivid image of Liam showering once he heard the water running, the older man not even having bothered to close the door or anything.

Pretty sure the devil himself would have advised Niall not to do this, but he still got up out of bed, ignoring his nervousness and the feeling that he would regret this deeply as he went after Liam. He was already regretting it looking down at his definitely slightly swollen stomach, and he hadn’t even entered the bathroom.

Liam’s shower was huge, the glass was completely see through, and Niall actually watched for a few moments, like a fucking creep, before deciding to get inside as well when Liam was about to turn around. This was so wrong, but it felt so damn right when Niall saw the look on Liam’s face and when the older man had him pinned up against the shower tiles a second later, under the running water.

“This is okay?” He was asking again although he was already crowding Niall against the wall, brushing his thumb over Niall’s wet cheek and jaw, pulling down his chin slowly to get him to open his mouth when the younger man nodded.

The moment Liam lips were back on his and his tongue was fucking into Niall’s mouth, everything else became a blur too.

\--------------

Liam woke up way before Niall, he needed a moment to realize none of last night had been a dream, but when it hit him, it hit hard. They had made out in the shower for ages, and then again in Liam’s bed, and there had really been no point for Niall to go sleep in the guest room anymore, so now they were here. 

It was Saturday, so usually Liam would get up and get ready to go to the office, but today, he didn’t jump out of bed, he remained lying there, staring at Niall sleeping next to him. No idea what had gotten into Liam, what he had been thinking, IF he had even been thinking, but it was done now, he couldn’t go back and change it, even if he had regretted it.

Did he? Liam wasn’t so sure about that either.

He did eventually get out of bed to get dressed and get ready, making sure Niall was covered with the blankets before he left the room with his phone and laptop. There was no need to freak out about this, none at all. They had just had sex and made out, that was all. Yeah, it was inappropriate, but Niall knew no one in the firm except Zayn, and Liam was pretty sure he wouldn’t tell even him.

It had just been fun, that was all, it was all good. 

Liam carried on his morning as usual, having one of his already pre made smoothies while answering emails in the kitchen, making a few phone calls because it was already after 8 anyways, not at all thinking about Niall or last night. Why would he have? Even if this had happened again, it wouldn’t have mattered, wouldn’t have changed anything at all, Niall was still his employee. Yeah, he was kinda cute, and Liam liked the way he was so submissive in bed and got turned on so easily, but that was the end.

Not saying it wouldn’t ever happen again, but Liam wouldn’t be breaking his head over it. 

Hours must have passed of Liam making it a home office day because he didn’t wanna go and wake Niall, and at some point he kinda forgot the younger man was even still here when he suddenly appeared, fully dressed but still looking a little rough. 

“Hi… “ He was blushing, barely looking at Liam, and Liam decided he needed to pretend last night had not happened or else Niall would just be a mess and have a hard time going back to normal. Good thing he had today and tomorrow to get over it.

“Morning.” Liam greeted him, only quickly looking him up and down, slowly getting up from his chair. “Do you want anything? Food? Tea?”

“Uh, no thank you, I, um… if- if you have time, I should probably, um, get home and-“

“Alright, let’s go.” If Liam had _time?_ Niall wouldn’t have been able to get home from here even if he had walked all day. 

They didn’t talk on the way to Liam’s car, and Liam made sure to grab his gym bag on the way there because this day was already ruined anyways, work wise. 

Once Liam was driving and the silence was getting a bit uncomfortable, Liam knew he would have to try harder if he wanted Niall to be normal again. If he put himself in Niall’s shoes, he could understand where the nervousness was coming from after all. 

“You’re still okay with me asking Zayn on Monday whether he’d be okay to have one of the new interns work for him?” Just so he knew nothing had changed about that.

“You, um- you’re not firing me?” It sounded very surprised, and it seemed to also have slipped out because Niall’s eyes were huge when Liam looked over at him in confusion, only for a moment.

“No? Why would I fire you?” Well, it was kinda obvious, but Liam didn’t think talking about them having sex would have made Niall feel better right now. 

“I- I don’t know. But, yes, of course, I- I’m still okay with it.” He sounded slightly too eager, but Liam had already noticed that last night.

“Great.”

The thing with Niall was, it was easy to read him, and that was partly why Liam had left all of his self control behind last night. Why he had even decided to show up to Niall’s gig in the first place. The fact that he knew that Niall would have done anything Liam wanted, and god damn it, for some reason Liam couldn’t resist that. He knew they’d work well together because one, Niall always brought up things Liam wouldn’t have thought of himself, two, there was no other employee that was so eager to work late hours or work this much at all, and three, it was kind of entertaining to have him around.

Liam would have been stupid to choose anybody else. 

There was no need to remind Niall not to tell anybody about last night, although Liam was slightly worried Niall would go and blabber about it to Styles since he lived with him, but as far as he knew, there were two young kids that needed attention, so maybe he wouldn’t even find the time. And if he did, well… Liam would just have to live with that.

“Don’t forget anything this time.” Liam reminded Niall jokingly once he had stopped the car. 

“I won’t, um- thank you for driving me. I’m… I’m sorry I forgot my key last night.” He was clearly uncomfortable saying it all, he wasn’t even looking at Liam, and now the older man was kinda feeling bad.

“I’m not.” He made sure to tell Niall, just so he’d know it was alright, that there was no need to freak out now. It was Liam’s fault anyway and they both knew it, he had asked Niall to come back outside twice, both of those times fighting with himself about whether to do it. “There is no need to be worried now.”

“I’m- I’m not.” Niall was clearly lying, his hand already on the door handle.

“I won’t fire you.” Liam promised one more time, but he felt like he should have added something else, to be on the safe side. And because Niall was kinda giving him mixed signals, and Liam wanted to be sure he was interpreting them correctly. “If you wanna keep working for Zayn you can. And you’ll never have to work for me again, you probably will see me only once a month. I was under the impression you wanted whatever happened, but if I’m wrong-“

“You’re not.” Okay, so Liam WAS interpreting all of this correctly. “I’m just, I- I don’t know what to say, but I- I do, um, I wanna work for you and- and yeah.”

“Okay, then that’s settled. Then I will see you on Monday, and don’t break your head over it, alright?” Probably easier said than done.

“Okay… see you Monday.” Niall half mumbled before almost falling out of the car, and Liam waited for him to take a few steps, but he drove off before Niall had even reached the building. 

No need to linger around now when it was light outside, and even if Styles wasn’t home, he’d have to come home eventually to let Niall inside. Also, it was warm enough for Niall to wait without a jacket, so Liam didn’t feel bad when he drove to the gym, kind of in need of a long work out.

The thing was, as much as Liam didn’t like getting distracted from work and generally not being able to follow his plans for the day, or weekend, his mood felt strangely elevated today and he came to think that maybe Zayn had been right after all. Maybe Liam had needed some social interaction, and maybe he had gotten a bit more of it than anticipated, but… it had clearly done no harm.

\-------------

Niall was so relieved that Liam just drove off that he could almost feel his chest getting a bit lighter as he stood in front of the building, not daring to ring the bell. He had a few text messages from Louis from this morning, asking where he was, but nothing more. If Niall didn’t act like a complete fool he might be able to talk himself out of this.

Then again, how?

He did ring the bell eventually, kinda hoping that no one was home, but they let him inside immediately. Now Niall again felt like a rebellious teenage son who had stayed out the entire night not only without telling anybody but also to sleep around with his boss. How much lower could he sink?

“Hi, where’ve you been? We were worried.” Harry was the one who opened the door, but there was no real time for an answer.

“Uncle Niall!” Clara had immediately pushed past him and Niall was actually really happy about her interrupting them as he picked her up, letting her hug him. “I missed you. Why did you leave?”

“I, um, I had a sleepover, with a friend.” Niall explained hesitantly, sharing a look with Harry as he entered the apartment, slowly letting Clara down again. 

“Oh. What friend?” The girl asked while Niall was taking off his shoes, so nervous that he was certain even Clara could see he was lying. 

“Uh, his name is L- James.” NOW Niall was screwed. He knew it was Liam’s second name, he knew because he had googled Liam way too many times, and it was fucking insane, but now he felt a little better about lying. It wasn’t a complete lie after all, was it?

“Who?” Harry was the one who was confused now and Niall shrugged as he stood back up, petting Clara’s head when she went to hug his leg.

“I don’t know, we met last night, I uh- the gig went fine, I stayed a bit longer and I got talking with some guys and he was one of them and- and we’ve actually once worked together at this restaurant, for a month or so- and, yeah. Well, the last bus had already left, so he drove me home, and then when I came home, I realized I had forgotten my guitar in his car so I had to go back downstairs, but I forgot my keys and- well, long story short, I crashed at his place. And I’m sorry I didn’t text you, my phone was out of charge, I only charged it when I woke up today.” Wow, what a story, who was gonna believe that? 

Not Harry.

“Are you sure that really happened?” He was laughing, but it didn’t really sound amused and Niall felt the guilt consuming his every fiber. “You crashed at some stranger’s place? Were you drunk?”

“No, I wasn’t, and he wasn’t a stranger and- he’s got two other roommates too, it wasn’t like it sounds. I slept in the living room.” No idea why Niall felt a need to add that, then again, not much different than here, right? 

“Alright, well, I’m happy you’re alright, we were about to call the place you played last night, and then Louis wanted to call the police too.” Now Niall felt even worse, perfect.

“I really am sorry.” He apologized again, also thinking about his lies. “I didn’t wanna worry you guys or stress you out. You especially.”

“Hey, it’s all good, ‘m just glad you’re home, and that your gig went well. Louis went to the store with Josie, I’ll text him you’re okay.” Harry was smiling as if he genuinely meant it, touching Niall’s arm for a moment as he walked past him, leaving him with this sinking feeling in his guts.

“Niall, can you play something on your guitar? Pleeeease?” Clara was begging as soon as Harry had left, and what choice did Niall have, really? Also, he could need some distraction anyways.

He sat in the living room with Clara, on the floor in front of the couch, trying to teach her to play the guitar while Harry was in his office, probably working on his novel or something. Niall would have loved to take a shower, maybe also eat some food, but he felt so fucking bad for what had happened that he took his babysitter duties very serious today. Just anything so he wouldn’t cause anymore troubles or worries.

Louis came home after a while, so Niall had to repeat his story and then he also had Josie wanting to play his guitar, so naturally that led to an argument and Niall suggested they tried to play some board games instead, with Clara on his team because she would have surely lost otherwise and then that wouldn’t have helped anyone.

No idea if the other two believed Niall’s story, but they kinda had to, right? Maybe they thought Niall had had a one night stand with some random guy, that was still kinda bad, but the only comforting part of it all was that no one could have guessed the truth even if they had tried. Niall still didn’t know why Liam had come to his gig, or why he had wanted to kiss Niall, or sleep with him, or why he still wanted Niall to work for him, it was… a mystery.

All Niall did know was that he couldn’t let this happen again, but at the same time he really wanted it to happen again and he hated himself for it. 

So that would be a great start into the next week.

\----------------------------

“Well, I don’t want any of the new interns. I’ve never even met them, if it weren’t for me, Niall wouldn’t be working here either.” Zayn was throwing a fit, and he was being more stubborn about it than Liam would have expected even though he had thought about it pretty much all weekend. Well, okay, at least last night.

“And I’m thankful for that, but I need him to work for me, he works late hours without complaining and he-“

“You’re gonna drive him away, if you make him work this late every other night, he’s gonna eventually get fed up with it. And it’s not exactly legal either.” Well…

“It is because I always tell him he is free to leave whenever he wants after his shift ends. He never does, he wants to stay.” Liam shrugged, kinda done with this conversation now. He saw Zayn’s point of view, obviously, but he wasn’t going to give in. “I’m sure one of the new interns can get just as much done as him.”

“Okay, then why don’t _you_ take one of them?” Zayn snapped, still walking up and down in Liam’s office. He wasn’t usually this easily worked up over stuff, or in general. “You know Niall could get up and leave in a couple weeks, right? Slap your name on his CV and get some other job? He could easily do it now.”

“So could anybody. A lot of people have done exactly that. If it happens, it happens, I am willing to make compromises and to talk about individual situations, but you know what happened a few months ago. And right now a lot of work has been piling up and we have been lagging, so I need somebody I can count on, and that is Niall.” Liam explained calmly, and he would have the last word anyways.

Zayn didn’t answer, he was just shaking his head to himself while staring out of the window for a moment before turning back to face Liam. “What would you do if I’d quit?”

“Are you?” Liam asked with pulled up eyebrows, not really worried even when Zayn shrugged to get him stressed out. “I’d ask you why and then I’d offer to talk about it and find a solution. I highly doubt you’d wanna quit because of Niall.”

“Sometimes I really hate you.” Nothing new. “I just- I don’t get it, Li. What is it with this damn guy that makes you want to work with him so badly?”

“You tell me.” Seriously, Zayn was in here throwing a fit about it too.

“Me and Niall are already a team, he knows how to get things done and what to do. I’ve been struggling to get all my work done for _months_ and it’s gotten so much easier when you hired him. And now I need to get used to someone else when me and Niall are already working out just fine. It’s frustrating, you do get that, right?” He had come over now, leaning on the chair opposite Liam’s desk, apparently trying out a different strategy.

“Okay, I see your point, I really do.” Liam started, not wanting to get Zayn’s hopes up though. “But I feel the same way. And I promise, if none of the interns can measure up to Niall, I’m gonna hire somebody else. You can also have two interns, if you want.”

It looked like Zayn was about to complain, but in the end, he just let out a sigh and Liam was relieved because he knew he had won. Well, he was the CEO, he would have won either way.

“Fine. Whatever.” He shrugged, even though it was clearly still bothering him. “Have you even asked Niall what he wants? Or are we just deciding this behind his back? He is a full time employee after all.”

“I already asked him.” Liam told him, feeling his face getting a bit harder because this was a dangerous topic.

“When? I was the last one who saw him on Friday and he didn’t say anything about-“

“Is that important? Really? I asked him, I didn’t pressure him, I left him a choice.” Okay, now this made it sound as if it had been Niall’s wish to stop working for Zayn and honestly, Liam was done with this conversation.

“Okay? So he was just an intern but now he gets to already decide who he-“

“Zayn. Please.” Liam interrupted, because he couldn’t take this anymore. “Look, I need him, okay? The past few months haven’t been easy, I don’t wanna drive this firm into the ground and lose a bunch of money and employees over Niall Horan. You’re my best friend, I appreciate everything you do for me and for this place, and I am sorry about this and I understand your point of view. That’s why I’m offering you two interns and a bonus.”

“Okay, wait, I don’t need a bonus, I’m just confused why it’s that important.” Now Zayn seemed confused rather than angry and Liam rubbed his hands over his face, shaking his head.

“I just need to do this, okay? Please.” Please just leave.

“Okay. I’m sorry, I- I didn’t realize something was going on. If you wanna talk, you know… “ He made some movement with his hand and Liam forced a smile. Nothing was going on, just the usual stuff he didn’t wanna talk about, ever.

Well, and last Friday, but that was different.

“Zayn, I’m fine. It’s just stressful, as usual.” Everything was, Liam sometimes didn’t even know anymore where to start. “I really am sorry.”

“It’s fine, I kinda overreacted, it’s just- a bit out of nowhere, that’s all. I’m sure I’ll manage.” Now he was almost making Liam feel guilty, but he wasn’t going to backtrack. “I’ll just-“

Zayn was interrupted by a knock on the door, and Liam almost wanted to sigh, but he kept it together.

“Come in.” He raised his voice a bit and Zayn stepped away from the table, turning around just in time for both of them to be looking straight at Niall. “Morning. You are late.”

“Morning, I- I’m sorry, there was a traffic jam and the bus- I can wait outside or-“

“No need, I’m already leaving.” Zayn threw one last look at Liam, smiling at Niall when he walked past him and out of the office, so that was something. He wouldn’t hold this against Niall, Liam was pretty certain, Zayn wasn’t like that.

“Close the door.” Liam ordered, feeling a bit differently upon seeing Niall than he would have expected. 

“I really am sorry I’m late.” Niall’s face was blushed as he came over, sitting down before Liam had told him to and it almost made the older man laugh.

“It’s fine, just don’t make it a habit.” That was most important about this situation, he didn’t want Niall to start thinking he could do absolutely anything just because he had slept with Liam. Not that Liam thought he was the kinda person to do that, but who knew? “Did you get a chance to look at the email I sent you?”

“Yes, but only last night, I’m sorry, I was babys-“

“That’s fine, you can just continue where you left off now. Also, we’re going to a meeting in an hour or so.” Liam watched Niall freeze while taking out his laptop, as expected.

“A… meeting?” Okay, why did he look so terrified?

“Yes, a meeting. With some of the graphic designers from the second floor.” Seriously, why was Niall always expecting to be fired or something? “I want you to take notes during it and just pay attention, nothing else.”

“Oh, okay, I- yeah, sure.” Now he was trying to downplay his nervousness, and again, Liam almost wanted to smile, but he kept it together. 

They both had work to do, there was no time to get distracted.

It was a bit annoying to have Niall working on the same desk, so Liam genuinely considered getting Niall his own desk in here, but that would have gone too far, so he himself simply moved to the couch after a while. At least they could work well together in silence, and at least Niall couldn’t randomly look up and stare straight at Liam once a while because now his back was towards the older man the entire time.

So Liam was the only who could stare whenever he was lost in thoughts.

\------------------------------

Niall felt like a right idiot walking next to the CEO of the firm as they were walking to the meeting room, and everyone scrambled to greet Liam on the way, clearly surprised to even see him at all. Understandable, as far as Niall knew, some employees saw him maybe once a month or even less.

Was that an efficient way to run a firm of this size? Probably not, but it wasn’t up to Niall to decide and he wouldn’t dare give Liam suggestions unless asked directly for his opinion. Hopefully that would never happen, only about trivial things.

It was a bit intimating for Niall to enter the room next to Liam as well with all these people there already that looked far more professional than Niall could have ever pretended to be. He did almost panic not knowing where to sit and Liam had to literally clear his throat for Niall to follow him and sit next to him, at the head of the damn table. God damn it.

“Morning everyone. Some of you may know Mr. Horan, he was previously an intern here, he is now my assistant. Should we get started?” He just threw the introduction into the room while Niall felt both hot and cold but he was relieved that he wouldn’t have to do anything other than smile like an idiot.

A few people seemed confused, but luckily nobody said anything. Niall was confused also, now Liam was calling him his assistant as well? Hadn’t he said on Friday that that wasn’t what Niall was? Well, apparently he must have changed his mind.

The meeting was boring, Niall did take notes on his laptop, as much as Liam had instructed him to do before coming here. Honestly, when one of the employees was presenting something with power point slides, proposing a project or whatever, Niall almost nodded off, and he only really felt awake again when he saw a new email popping up on the side of his screen.

Oh.

_Liam Payne 09:49  
Stop moving your leg_

Niall threw a glance at the other man, immediately having stopped moving his leg, blush creeping into his face. It was a nervous habit of his, he hadn’t even noticed doing it, apparently he hadn’t been as close to nodding off as he had thought. Liam wasn’t looking at him, he was keeping his eyes straight forward, as if he hadn’t even just sent that.

From then on, Niall tried to look more animated, but sadly, he started to really need the bathroom after a while. Liam hadn’t said anything about the length of this damn meeting, and apparently, nobody here ever needed a damn break and Niall had been drinking water before and- fuck. He was going to die.

He tried to distract himself, with every possible measure, but it only made him more nervous and uncomfortable and thinking about it was only making it worse and shit, Niall had never needed the bathroom so badly. Or maybe it was just in his imagination, but he was honestly desperate when yet another guy started to speak and he was forced to write Liam a fucking email.

_To Liam Payne 10:59  
Can I please use the bathroom?_

NOW Liam threw a look at him, and Niall had no idea what he was thinking, but he ended up shaking his head, almost making Niall cry. This was so fucking stupid, he should have just stayed with Zayn, honestly, he probably hated Niall though and would have rather worked with one of the new interns, so that ship had sailed. 

It was hard taking ANY notes whatsoever for the remainder of this meeting, even though it took only 16 more minutes and that was probably why Liam had told him no. Then again, his facial expression had been a bit strict.

“Alright, thank you all so much for taking the time and preparing all this. I’m going to review my notes and get back to you about next steps.” Liam closed the meeting with a smile faker than anything Niall had ever seen, but he was a bit more busy not immediately packing away his things and running to the nearest bathroom. 

They honestly WAITED until almost everyone had left, and Niall was convinced Liam was doing it to torture him. 

“Are you alright?” Liam genuinely dared to ask as they left the room.

“I really need the bathroom.” There was no time for Niall to still be polite, he also didn’t care anymore because he had simply gotten desperate. “Can I-“

“No, wait until we’re back in my office.” The older man interrupted, throwing a kind of intense glance at Niall and the younger man honestly hated him for a little bit, but he kept quiet until they reached the elevator. “You did well.”

“Thank you.” Niall told him with a clenched jaw, not needing any of these compliments right now. He just needed a bloody bathroom.

There was more silence, and Niall thought he would piss himself or something, and the very worst part was, he was certain that Liam was pretty damn amused next to him.

Almost as soon as they got back to Liam’s office, Niall simply put his laptop on the desk, ignoring the fact that Liam had been about to say something just so he could flee to the bathroom. Honestly, he had never felt so relieved before, he almost felt like a whole new person as he was washing his hands afterwards, not caring whether Liam was upset with him or not. It was a human right to use the damn bathroom, wasn’t it?!

Apparently, Liam thought otherwise when Niall entered the office once more, a hundred times more relaxed now than before but that only really lasted until he met the older man’s face.

“I expect you to listen when I talk.” He was leaning against his desk, staring at Niall with that expression that left the younger man very uncertain of whether he was being serious or not. 

“I do. You said to wait until we’re back at your office and-“

“Well, I was going to say something else right when you left.” Liam interrupted, his expression had gotten hard and Niall suddenly felt a bit sick, also slightly scared.

“I- I’m sorry.” What for though?! He had needed the damn bathroom, he wasn’t Liam’s slave. 

“Are you really?” No.

“Yes.” Niall lied immediately, swallowing hard when Liam suddenly pushed away from the desk to come over to him. “I, uh- what-“

“Niall.” He started, suddenly using Niall’s first name again, but Niall only dared to relax when he saw the tiniest flicker of amusement on the older man’s face. He was just teasing him, that fucking asshole. “I really need you to listen to me. Okay?”

“Uh, okay.” Niall agreed breathlessly, his back suddenly hitting the door to the bathroom because of how close Liam had come. Fuck, he was almost all up in Niall’s space, and Niall knew the office door was unlocked and that they should have been working, but… if Liam didn’t stop, he wouldn’t either.

“Hmm… “ Was all Liam made, not moving and rather waiting for Niall to do something before he stepped closer because the younger man was frozen on the spot anyways. Just like on the weekend, Liam was very careful not to do anything Niall didn’t want. “Is it okay if-“

“Yes.” The younger man interrupted way too eagerly, making Liam laugh momentarily before he closed that gap between them, cupping Niall’s face in one hand as he kissed him, squeezing his hip as he crowded him against the door, nudging the younger man’s lips apart.

The kiss was already desperate just two seconds in and Niall was clinging to Liam before he even knew it, wanting nothing more than to be even closer to him even though that was probably not a good idea. Not at all.

Wait, hadn’t he sworn to himself to not do this again?!

“Wait I- maybe we- maybe we shouldn’t-“

“Okay.” The second Niall had broken the kiss, Liam had stepped away, his hand retracting from where it had slipped underneath Niall’s clothes and- wait, what the fuck?! “We’ve got a lot of work to do, you’re right.”

“No, I… “ Niall’s mouth was moving with no sounds coming out, his entire body was on fire and he was breathless as he watched Liam walking over to sit on the couch, as if nothing at all had even happened.

Shit, no, this was not what Niall had been expecting, at all. 

“Why are you just standing there?” Liam asked as soon as he had sat down, one of his eyebrows raised, and Niall felt like crying again.

This man was just making fun of him, he was just humoring himself by teasing Niall, and the worst part was that it was working just in his favor.

“I- I didn’t mean we had to stop.” Niall finally brought out as he came closer, his face bright red and his mouth still tasting like Liam. God, he couldn’t have concentrated on work now, even if he had tried. “I just mean- I wasn’t sure if-“

“I don’t wanna do anything if you’re not sure.” Fuck, no, Niall was an idiot.

“No! Sorry, I mean, no, that’s not what I meant, I- we can do anything.” PLEASE. “I’m sure.”

There was a smile forming on the older man’s face, a really cheeky one and Niall felt himself relax but also become even more desperate when Liam spoke again. “Okay, then come here and show me what you mean with anything.”

Well, he didn’t need to be told twice.

Niall had crossed the room in under a second, his brain completely turned off when he simply went to straddle his boss’ lap, pressing their lips back together and maybe even taking Liam by surprise because of how suddenly he had acted. Screw that though, Niall knew they both wanted it badly, so he was going to take what he could get.

Liam pulled him closer immediately, his hands cupping Niall’s ass while they were making out on the couch, squeezing him and making sure they crotches were pressed together to create some desperately needed friction. Honestly, just this could’ve been it for Niall, rubbing and pushing against Liam while snogging him, but he didn’t wanna embarrass himself, and he didn’t wanna come like that, after ten seconds.

The older man’s hand started wandering up Niall’s back, moving his shirt to the side until his fingers were touching bare skin and Niall whined into his mouth, leaning even more into him as his own fingers curled into Liam’s perfectly styled hair. This was such a disaster but he just couldn’t get enough.

Niall would have let Liam do absolutely anything to him, it was true, and his smell was driving him insane as well, it seemed to have gotten even more intense over the weekend, no idea how that was possible but Niall was pretty certain Liam had noticed it as well the other way around. 

When Liam moved them a bit roughly, Niall landed on his back, but he kept clinging onto Liam, not allowing him to break this kiss as he was on top of the younger man once more, already fumbling to get his pants open. The fact that he seemed to be just as hard as Niall only turned the younger man on even more and he tried his best to help getting their pants out of the way, all while breathing harshly against Liam’s lips as they struggled to continue the kiss, their pants filling the room instead.

Liam sounded frustrated when it took too long because they were fully dressed, and Niall felt his low groan in his bones right before the older man suddenly pulled away, his voice breathless, face flushed. “This isn’t working.”

“Wha-“

“Get up.” The older man ordered, his pants open as he get off the couch and Niall did the same, barely having a second to breathe before Liam had already pulled him close again, kissing him deeply and dirtily before turning him around roughly.

No idea how Niall was ever going to be working here normally ever again when Liam made him bend over his desk, pressing up behind the younger man while Niall struggled to breathe. From anticipation mostly, because this was wrong and it was so hot and strangely enough, that seemed to be his thing and he hadn’t ever even known it before.

“Stay still.” Liam’s voice always sounded so strict that Niall didn’t dare to move anymore as he pulled down his pants just enough to expose Niall’s ass, manhandling him until he was in the right position. “Fuck… “

Niall wanted to whine, his arms shivering from having to hold up his weight and he thought he’d die when Liam simply moved his hands over his skin, squeezing, fingers slipping down to press inside his already leaking arse. “Please… “

“Shh, be a good boy and be quiet.” Fuck, if Liam continued to talk like that, Niall would come without a warning. “You want it, yeah? You want me to fill you up? Right here in my office?”

“Yes… please… “ Niall half whispered, sucking in a breath because Liam was slowly fingering him now, undoubtedly testing him to see if he could hold back. 

The fact that Niall couldn’t see what Liam was doing was making it even more exciting, he had to bite his lip, hard, to choke back any sounds wanting to escape his mouth while Liam’s fingers were filling him, hitting all the right spots as if they had done this a hundred times.

When the older man retracted his fingers all of a sudden, Niall couldn’t choke back a moan as he felt the head of his cock instead, pushing inside of him with one smooth thrust, Niall’s hipbones digging almost painfully into the side of the desk. “Li-“

“ _Don’t_ call me that.” Liam half hissed into his ear as he was building a slow rhythm of pushing in and out of the younger man and Niall was pretty sure he felt a tear on his skin from how good he felt. 

“ _Fuck_ … M-Mr. P-Payne… “ Niall choked out instead, making Liam stop for just a second, probably because it had surprised him. “Please… please- _ah_ … “

Liam was fucking into him so hard that Niall was afraid the desk would slip away, because he was slipping himself but he couldn’t communicate it, his mouth was just hanging open while moans were leaving his mouth as he felt the growing pressure of Liam’s knot against his rim. He was painfully hard by now, almost wanting to get a hand around himself to get some sort of relief but he needed both his hands to hold onto the desk.

Niall was SO close, hearing Liam grunting above him, his thrusts become increasingly more aggressive as he had to screw his growing knot inside of the younger man each time, and Niall was almost in trance when Liam suddenly stopped.

“ _Please_ don’t stop, ple-“

Liam swiftly pulled out of him and Niall let a tear slip from frustration, the disappointment not lasting long though when the older man pulled him back against him instead, one arm tightly around Niall’s stomach, his chest flat against the younger’s back. “Shhh. You need to be quiet.”

“I c-can’t… “ Niall half sobbed, leaning his head back against Liam’s shoulder when he felt the older’s lips grazing the exposed skin of his neck, his erection still pressing against Niall’s ass. “Please… “

“You’re so naughty, Niall. Always demanding more, huh?” Liam whispered against his skin, making Niall squirm when his free hand wrapped around his aching erection, barely moving his fist though. “We definitely need to work on that and improve your behavior. You’re lucky I’m cutting you slack for now.”

“I’m s-sorry- _aaah_ \- fuck… “ Niall’s eyes were pressed closed when Liam started to wank him, hard and fast, completely out of nowhere, and Niall felt his belly tightening, trying to grab onto anything at all which happened to be Liam as he came without a warning, all over the older man’s hand and the floor. 

Liam was working him through it, his rough palm feeling so fucking good on Niall’s sensitive skin as he was dragging it out, milking Niall empty until he would have collapsed forward had Liam not been holding him so tightly. His lips were immediately attached to Niall’s exposed neck again, sucking a bruise in probably the most obvious space but Niall had no energy to stop him or even think about it.

He had something else in mind.

“Can I… “ He started, whispering because his throat felt hoarse and Liam didn’t stop him as he moved away, turning back around to look the older man in the eye, only briefly before sinking to his knees.

No fucking idea what it was, but suddenly Niall wanted to blow him so badly it was almost killing him.

“Niall… “ Liam never finished that sentence, it was obvious he was surprised when the younger man took him into his hand, jerking him off briefly before licking over the head of Liam’s cock, fingers pressing around where his knot had already grown. “Fuck… keep going… yes… so good… “

It felt SO good to have Liam’s praise, his hand on the back of Niall’s head when Niall took him fully into his mouth, making sure he didn’t go in too deep. Niall had sucked dick before, but he had never let anyone pop their knot in his mouth, he might have let Liam do it, but not in his office because the aftermath would’ve been too hard to clean up.

And it wasn’t even lunchtime yet.

Niall could feel himself getting hard again as he sucked Liam’s cock, wrapping his free hand around himself to unevenly jerk himself off in the meantime, feeling it in his every fiber whenever he could hear Liam let out a moan. He was pushing his hips forward into Niall’s mouth, not too aggressively though Niall would have honestly not minded choking on Liam’s dick right now, the thought only making him grab harder onto himself.

“Shit, Niall- just like that, _yeah_ -“

Liam broke off when Niall’s hand wandered off to cradle his balls while Liam was still buried in his mouth, and the moan he let out at that caused Niall to come yet again, all over himself this time. His knees were hurting as he rode out his own orgasm while trying not to let off the suction as the older man thrusted a bit too deep into his mouth, making Niall gag just slightly right before Liam pushed him off, coming into his own palm with a grunt.

No Alpha came as much as they did when locked inside an Omega, but they had still both created a right mess on the floor when they were both coming down from their highs, Niall still on his knees, needing to catch his breath for a moment.

“Fuck… I didn’t think you were gonna do that. Your mouth is insane.” Liam brought out after a moment, only making Niall’s chest swell with even more pride. “C’mere.”

He let Liam pull him up, having to lean against the desk because his limbs felt like jelly now.

The older man was staring at him, his own face sweaty and red, the same cheeky grin on his face as before, the one Niall would have died for. “Look at you. You look proper fucked.”

 _I am_ , was all Niall could think, kissing back lazily when Liam pressed their mouths back together, only for a moment.

“We need to get cleaned up.” He decided way too soon, and Niall was too tired to protest, but he also knew it would have been no use.

It was almost comical really, how fast they had cleaned up the mess and also themselves, Liam ordering Niall to go sit on the couch this time while he stayed at his desk, taking a phone call not even 10 minutes later, sounding professional as ever. 

Niall’s hipbones were hurting the rest of the day, and so were his arms, but whenever he caught himself looking at Liam, he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

So much for never doing this again.

\----------------------

“What did you think?” Niall asked Louis as they left the flat they had just looked at. Judging by his friends’ face, he wasn’t super impressed, but honestly, Niall didn’t share those feelings, at all.

“I don’t know, I- I thought it was a bit… small. But the location is quite good for the price and everything.” Louis was clearly choosing his words carefully, clearing his throat a bit and Niall knew what he hadn’t said.

“You think it’s awful, don’t you?” Maybe it was, a little bit, but the thing was, the owner would be leaving a lot of furniture, and there was a bus station right opposite the street, and a supermarket, and what more could Niall have wanted? He couldn’t be picky.

“Not awful, just- Ni, you can stay with us for as long as you want, okay?” Louis said it as if he was sorry for Niall, and he probably was, he probably thought the flat was so awful he couldn’t let Niall live there and feel good about it. 

Thing was though, Niall kinda wanted to live there. It’s not that this was the first best thing, he had been looking online, for at least a month now, and everything had seemed kinda sketchy, or too far away, or just too expensive and- well, at least the owner of this flat new Louis’ colleague, and apart from the size of the flat, everything was kinda great about it.

And Niall didn’t need much space anyways, he was alone after all, he had never lived by himself, so he was used to sharing his space and only having a bedroom to himself.

“I know that, Lou, thank you. But I honestly feel like this would be a good decision, you know? It’s not forever, but it’s definitely in my budget, the bus station is right there, everything else is pretty close too and I wouldn’t even have to get any furniture.” Which was the main part here. “Maybe a new mattress.”

“That mattress looked rancid.” Louis immediately told him as they were walking down the street and Niall rolled his eyes. 

“I think it’s a good deal, not that I have much experience, but… I’ve got a good feeling about it.” Also, Niall spent most of his time at work anyways, but he wasn’t going to say that. 

“If this is what you want, Nialler, then of course I want you to do it. I just don’t want you to do something because you think you have to and then regret it, you know? Me ‘nd Haz are happy to have you, the girls are too, you know that. And the baby isn’t coming for at least five more months.” Another reason why Niall wanted to leave. “And even if you wanna stay after that-“

“I can’t still live with you guys when you’re having the baby.” He could barely even do it anymore now. Not because he didn’t love his friends or the girls, but because he had ZERO privacy, and he was basically babysitting the moment he got home, and all weekend. “I, uh… you know, I kinda wanna have my own life. I’m so grateful for what you guys have done for me and I will never forget it, I would’ve never gotten back on my feet, but now I really feel like this is the next step. I’ll forever have you and Harry to thank for all of it.”

“You’re our best friend, Nialler, it’s nothing.” Louis shrugged, but he was smiling when he suddenly threw an arm around the other man’s shoulder. “If you really like the flat and if you really wanna do this I’m supporting you. And I’m letting you take anything you want from our garage.”

“You’re giving me your trash as a moving gift?! You’re too kind.” It was a joke of course, and Niall laughed when he saw his friend’s pretend pout, squeezing him a bit too hard for a moment. “No, but seriously. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. We’re always here for you, Ni, even after you’ve moved, you can come over or come back anytime, okay? Also- what’s that?” Louis’s hand was on Niall’s shoulder, and he must’ve pulled the fabric to the side because it made him stop, and Niall panicked.

“Nothing, wh- what do you mean?” He tried to hide his fear by putting up a confused expression instead, flinching when Louis’ fingers dug into his skin. “Ah stop, what a-“

“Is that a _hickey?!_ ” It was SO Louis to half scream that in the middle of the street and make a damn scene right now, and Niall’s hand flew to cover the bruise as he stepped away from his friend.

“I don’t know what it is.” He lied, his face starting to get warm. “I think it might be a spider bite or-“

“Bullshit.” Louis interrupted, still just standing there, staring. And then his eyes got huge. “Oh my god, you DID sleep with that guy on Friday, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t.” Niall told him immediately, wanting to keep on walking but Louis wasn’t following. Fuck, why had Liam done that? And why hadn’t Niall stopped him?

The thing was, after they had done what they had done in Liam’s office yesterday, Liam had acted all normal today, all professional, and they had basically worked in silence for the entire day, every word exchanged work related. So not only was Niall frustrated because he didn’t know what the fuck Liam wanted, he was also left with this stupid hickey for the entire world to see the moment his clothes moved the tiniest bit.

“You SO did, Nialler.” Okay, could he stop?

“I really did not, Lou. You would’ve seen that hickey on the weekend, and I only woke up with it today, so there’s no way-“

“You did get home quite late last night.” Yeah, but sad thing was, it hadn’t been because Niall and Liam had done anything else but because they had been behind schedule after the meeting and their… shenanigans, whatever. “No idea what dirty business you’re getting up to after work or… _at work_.”

“Very funny, Lou, really. As if there is any time to do anything at all at work.” Plenty of it, apparently. “I don’t know where the bruise came from, okay?”

“If you really mean that then we need to get you to a hospital, because that does not look normal and also-“

“ _Okay_ , I’ll tell you the truth, whatever.” Niall rolled his eyes, his heart beating fast as he was getting ready to tell yet another lie while his friend just seemed really excited. God. “I did it myself, okay? I had an itch from those clothes I gotta wear to work all the time, and last night I couldn’t stop scratching it and I was pulling at my skin and apparently I bruise easily. And then when I realized it looked like a hickey, I tried to cover it up. Because I knew what everyone, _especially_ you, would think.”

“Well, that sounds a lot more realistic, also a lot more like you.” So Louis was buying it? … should Niall have been offended? “I’m kinda disappointed, not gonna lie.”

“I know you’re the king of gossip, but how is the possibility of me having a sex life that exciting?” Also, was Niall supposed to be worried now that things between Louis and Harry weren’t going well?

“I’d be happy for you, mate, that’s why I would’ve been excited. I’ve got plenty of sex in my own life, y’know.” Okay, Niall did not have to be worried, and he also felt stupid for even thinking about it. Harry and Louis had been bonded for SO long, Niall could have never imagined seeing them apart.

Didn’t really help whenever he himself felt lonely. “I figured, after the third child-“

“That was planned.” Louis interrupted as they finally kept on walking back to the car. “We just didn’t expect it to happen so quickly- _don’t_ say what you’re thinking right now.”

“I’m not thinking anything.” He was. All of the kids had happened very quickly, and judging by how fast Harry had accidentally gotten pregnant with Josie… but that wasn’t any of Niall’s business. In fact, he was quite jealous of both of his friends sometimes. “I’m really excited for you guys.”

“You’re getting a third chance at saying yes to becoming a godfather.” Louis tried to make it sound appealing, and had that been his plan of asking Niall?

“And if anything happens to you and Harry, the girls get to live with your parents and baby number three is stuck in a one room apartment with me?” Niall joked, but also… it was kinda the truth. “No, I’m kidding, I really appreciate that you asked me but… I think I’d rather just stay the cool uncle.”

“Well, you’ve got a few more months to think about it.” Louis sounded confident as he playfully hit Niall’s back, but Niall already knew his answer wouldn’t change.

When they got back to the car, Niall still felt rather good about the flat, but he would definitely have to sleep over it. Once he’ be woken up tomorrow at 5:30 in the morning by one of the girls jumping on the couch though, he would definitely have his decision. He loved the girls, but he wasn’t their parent, and he would have loved to sleep in a real bed again.

… not that he hadn’t last Friday, but that was really beside the point. Then again, it would have made him laugh that the first real bed he’d sleep in again after all this would be his boss’, but it was actually the saddest thing in the entire world instead. God, Niall was really pathetic.

The drive home wasn’t too long, which was also a plus, because Niall could still easily babysit or pick the girls up from school once a while to help his friends out, especially when the new baby would be here. He caught himself kind of wondering how long it would be from here to Liam’s place, but he honestly had no idea, and it didn’t matter anyways… right?

They also stopped at the store, and Niall felt a bit stupid so he ended up pushing the cart while Louis was on the phone with Harry because he had forgotten his shopping list.

When they were back in the car, Niall took out his phone out of habit really, not really expecting anything at all, but Liam’s name on his display immediately caught his eye of course. God damn it, had he manifested this by thinking about him so much?!

_Liam Payne 18:58  
I know it is kind of late, but would you be able to work for a few more hours?_

He had only just sent it, five minutes ago, and Niall bit his lip staring at the message while Louis was rambling about dinner next to him and how the girls needed to be in bed soon and Niall heard absolutely zero words that were coming out of his mouth.

“… um, actually” Niall threw in when his friend stopped talking, his heart beating a bit fast. “Can you maybe drop me off at work? My boss just texted me there’s some big project that just came in.”

“Now?” Louis asked with his eyebrows pulled up, and Niall had no idea how to explain any of this but he nodded anyways.

Liam had him wrapped around his little finger and they both knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone :)
> 
> wow, thank you all so much for so many kudos!!! i keep thinking a lot of you really seem to enjoy my fics more the dirtier they get hahaha, so i hope you also enjoyed this chapter!! i also know of course that maybe a lot of people have more time to read in these times, and i genuinely hope all of you are staying safe and healthy and that my fic can bring you a bit of distraction. it genuinely made me so happy to read the comments on last weeks chapter, im so grateful i have so many amazing people reading and supporting my fics, thank you all so much <3
> 
> i hope you will all have a somewhat alright week!


	5. Chapter 5

“What kinda project is that supposed to be?” Good question because Niall had made it up.

“He didn’t say.” Not a lie, yet Niall still felt hot and guilty, but he also texted Liam back that he would be there as soon as possible. And he hated himself for it. 

“Okay. What kinda boss is that?” One that slept with his assistant?

“He’s really nice, actually.” Niall tried to sound neutral about it, but he knew Louis was looking right through him so he had to stare out of the window, and lie some more. “I enjoy working there, he lets me do a lot of things on my own, it’s… kinda cool.”

“I understand that, Nialler, I just think it’s a bit… strange? And I wanna make sure you’re not doing this because you’re worried about struggling financially or you’re afraid he’s gonna kick you out or-“

“No, it’s really nothing like that. He always leaves me an option, I do stay because I want to.” Niall shrugged, trying to force his body to calm down, but just knowing he’d see Liam in a few minutes was… nerve wrecking.

“Just admit it, you’ve grown sick of us.” Louis was joking of course and Niall rolled his eyes, just relieved that they seemed to have moved on from the seriousness. At least Louis didn’t say anything about it anymore until they had arrived, the massive building looking dark, except that one light in the highest floor. “Don’t come home too late, you’ve not even eaten. I know I sound like a dad, but I’m serious.”

“I’ll try my best.” Niall appreciated the concern, but he was also already half out the car. “Thanks for driving me.”

“Call me if you need me to pick you up.” Louis told him right after Niall had shut the door, and he gave him a thumbs up through the window.

If Liam didn’t drive him home then… honestly, he had to.

Niall didn’t text the older man, he could just use his own card to get inside the building, something he would have never thought he’d have to do. It felt really strange, walking through the hallway when no one else was there, all the lights turned off except emergency signs.

Niall felt his nerves playing up once he had entered the elevator, only now realizing that he was actually really hungry and that maybe he should have taken Louis’ words more serious before. Maybe he should have even eaten dinner first, because now that he thought about it, he had no clue how many hours Liam needed him for.

As always, Niall felt his heart stop for just a moment before he knocked on the door, waiting to hear Liam’s voice before he entered the office. Suddenly, he felt slightly embarrassed because of how quickly he had shown up here, as if he had just been at home waiting all day for Liam to text him to come to work or something.

“Ah, there you are already, great.” Liam honestly did sound enthusiastic for some reason and Niall felt even more embarrassed, but before he could have said much more than a simple hello, he was surprised. “And you didn’t change your clothes, good.”

“I had an appointment right after- wait, what?” First, why did it matter, second WHY did Liam notice?! Well, okay, maybe because Niall’s selection of clothing items suitable for work was limited. 

“Forget about it. Sit down.” The older man made some movement with his hand, ordering Niall to come over and so he did, like so many times before, trying not to focus too much on Liam’s scent filling the entire room and the way he had loosened a few buttons of his shirt. “How much time do you have?”

“Um… as long as it takes?” Niall tried, because what the hell, he was about to move, he needed the money and what would he do lying on that couch all night anyways? Who even needed sleep?

“Perfect.” Liam seemed satisfied with that answer, he almost smiled before he suddenly turned his laptop around to show Niall the screen. It was just a picture, of some man smiling obnoxiously wide into the camera and for a moment, Niall questioned whether all this work was making Liam insane. “This man wrote a book that could be revolutionary, and we need him to sign a contract with us before somebody else gets him.”

“Umm… okay?” He WAS going insane. “How are we- how do you know about his book then?”

“My talent scouts found him, he’s already got an established career as a blogger and just writes on the side for fun, he’s self-publishing his books and making little to no money. But the how is not important, it’s more important that I’ve had word that a few other people have already noticed his outstanding work already as well.” Okay, seriously, why was Liam talking as if they were in some crime show?

“Okay, uh, but… but do you not normally just get into contact with people and then-“

“We did, but other people have as well. He’s uncertain now that he realized how good he actually is, and that this could lead to something big. Or nothing, if he chooses wrong.” Well, sounded fair enough. But now Liam’s face seemed to become harder all of a sudden. “Our reputation has suffered in the past.”

“Oh.” Well, everybody knew that, although Niall did not know any details, but he assumed it was all Liam’s fault. Like, not that Liam wasn’t brilliant and hard working, but he clearly had strange relationships with his employees. None at all with most and… a too close one with some. “So we need to convince him?”

“Exactly. Did you remember his face?” Liam asked, turning his laptop back around when Niall nodded, closing it all of a sudden. “Have you already eaten?”

“Wh- no, but it’s fine, I-“

“Good, because I don’t want you to get sick when you gotta eat some more.” Wait, why was Liam getting up, why was this happening?!

“We’re leaving?” Niall was getting up as well, kinda automatically, more confused than ever before, which really said something because Liam kept saying things that made no sense to Niall on a regular basis.

“Yes. This is obviously not in your contract and I can also drive you home instead.” Liam told him as he put on his jacket, starting to pack away his things while Niall was watching like an idiot, with his mouth hanging open for just a moment.

“Umm- no, I’ll come, I really don’t mind at all, I just- where are we going?” Were they going to break into this guy’s house? Because as secretive as Liam had made it sound… 

“We’re going to the re-opening night of the city’s casino. That’s why it’s good you didn’t change.” Oh. “Our guy is going to be there as well. But don’t worry about it, I will do most of the talking, and I’ll pay you a bonus.”

“Okay, how- how do we know that guy is there?” Now Niall was about to freak out, but he still picked up his bag and followed Liam, feeling like this was some kinda hallucination. It wasn’t even the bloody weekend, and this was his boss, and they were going to the casino, together, to stalk a potential client?

“I heard he’s got a thing for gambling. I wanna make sure that his love for risks doesn’t extend to which publisher he chooses.” They were already waiting for the elevator now, and Niall was still confused because that hadn’t answered his question at all, and Liam seemed to notice because he sighed. “That was a joke. He wrote it on his blog.”

“Oh.” Well, that made sense. So Liam had read this guy’s entire blog or something, just to pretend to accidentally bump into him at a casino and convince him to get on board?

He was dedicated to his firm, Niall had to give him that. He just wasn’t sure why HE needed to come along, but he certainly wouldn’t complain about a bonus. 

“So… “ Niall started as they left the building to walk towards Liam’s car, still having a billion questions about this whole scenario that was about to happen. “Why did it matter if I had already eaten? It’s a casino, why would I have to e-“

“It’s only shortly after 7, we’re not going there just yet but I’m really hungry.” One second… “Did you clog back in when you came?”

“No, I didn’t, was I supposed t-“

“No, we probably won’t came back anyways. I’ll make sure you’re getting the hours though, no worries.” So now it counted as work? For Niall to go EAT with Liam and to the bloody casino? No one in their right minds would have ever believed him.

Then again, he would have not been in his right mind either telling anybody about this.

Niall had a lot of questions, but he swallowed all of them once Liam had started the car. It was hard no to stare at him right now, or have some very disturbing images flashing through his mind while they were being confined in such a tight space together, but Niall was truly doing his best here. At least now Louis wouldn’t have to be worried anymore about Niall not getting anything to eat. Not that he’d ever find out about this.

“So.” Liam started after a few minutes of Niall trying so hard not to have inappropriate thoughts, which only lead to him having even more of them than could be normal. Also, stupidly enough, he felt caught when the older man spoke up, as if he could read his thoughts or something. “Do you like sushi?”

“I… “ Was he SERIOUSLY asking this question?! Well, Niall would rather be honest now than be embarrassed in a couple of minutes. “Not really. But, um… I’ve not had it very often. Just twice, I felt a bit sick after.”

“Well, we better not take any risks tonight, I still need you for later.” He meant for this guy at the casino, but Niall couldn’t help his thoughts drifting off AGAIN, and suddenly, he couldn’t stop thinking about how nice Liam’s car actually was, and how they could have totally- no, bad.

“What exactly do you need me to do? I don’t wanna, like, say something stupid on accident and ruin everything.” Because that was honestly kinda likely to happen and then Liam would kick him out, for certain this time.

“You won’t, I just need you to be nice and answer if he asks you something.” Sounded easy enough, and yet…

“Okay, but… won’t he think that it’s weird that you’re there… AND that you’ve brought one of your employees with you?” Niall didn’t wanna say assistant, it kinda sounded as if he really liked that title and he did but that was not what he was going for.

“We’re all there by complete chance of course. We all randomly ran into each other.” Liam told him, and he actually sounded very amused and Niall started to wonder if he was enjoying this, all this investigation consisting of reading this guy’s entire blog and then proceeding to go to some casino to lure him in. 

Seemed like a bit too much work for Niall just to get one person to sign a contract, and it also didn’t really speak for the popularity of Liam’s firm. Then again, he had admitted himself that their reputation had suffered in the past, it seemed he was desperately trying to rebuild it now.

Only question was, was it smart doing that by sleeping with your former intern? Apparently so, in Liam’s mind at least.

They didn’t go to a sushi place, for which Niall was very happy, but he would have actually preferred that upon seeing the place Liam had chosen, as if they were going on some fancy date or whatever. The fact that he walked away before Niall had even closed the car door though said something very different.

“Mr. Payne! So lovely to see you this evening, you’ve not visited in so long. Would you like a private table for you and your… companion?” Even the bloody waiter knew Liam, half running over the moment he had caught sight of him and Niall’s cheeks were ON FIRE.

“Thank you, that would be great. We’ve got business to discuss.” Okay, so he was very keen on establishing exactly just what they were.

“Of course. May I take your jackets, gentlemen?” This was Niall’s nightmare, for real.

The place was packed with people in evening gowns and yet the waiter found them probably the most exclusive table, away from everybody else, barely any noises coming through to them. Liam immediately told the waiter no to him offering probably some expensive ass wine and Niall was relieved to see him order water instead, so he did the same.

“Get whatever you want.” Liam told him as soon as they had received the menus and Niall felt nervousness spreading in his body when he saw there were no prices next to the items. This could only mean anyone who came here had no need to know about prices. 

“I, um… “ Niall started, staring at the words in front of him, swallowing a bit and feeling embarrassed but at the same time though… Liam knew where Niall came from, he knew his entire life story, so Niall felt okay to just say what was on his mind. “I’ve no idea what any of this is. And I- the font is hard to read.”

“Cursive?” Liam asked with a popped up eyebrow, looking amused, and Niall kinda wanted to throw that glass of water into his face. 

“No, it’s just really dark in here.” It WAS, probably to set the mood or for the ambient or whatever, but screw that, rich people could also see in the dark apparently? Or maybe they had no need to, because Liam surely hadn’t thrown one look into this menu. “Can you order for me?”

“If you want me to.” He didn’t seem to mind and Niall felt relieved putting the card back on the table. “Any allergies?”

“Guess we’re about to find out.” Niall gave back, just because he was slightly annoyed with Liam and his gloating at this point. Like, obviously he was rich as anything, why’d he have to rub in Niall’s face like that and take him to a place he KNEW Niall couldn’t afford because he knew his fucking income just so he could graciously offer to pay?

Ridiculous. Also, a little bit hot, but that was beside the point.

“Good thing this place is close to the hospital and my car is parked right by the door.” Okay, having Liam play along was making Niall more upset.

“I’d actually prefer an ambulance, thank you.” Niall folded his hands on the table to mimic Liam’s ridiculous way of sitting all formally when it was literally just the two of them. “My health care just about covers it, I believe.”

“Are you sure?” Now he was making fun of Niall, and had the younger man not seen the corner of Liam’s mouth twitch, he might have tried to say something back, but then he just let it slide because he knew he couldn’t win.

It was obvious that Liam was amused, and that he was teasing Niall, so Niall didn’t want to give him the satisfaction and get visibly upset over it. Also, Niall was done feeling stupid for not being some rich guy with ten credit cards and he also wouldn’t pretend to like the food if it sucked.

Sadly, once it arrived, way too quickly after Liam had ordered for them both, it really did NOT suck. Shit.

“How is it?” Liam asked, and Niall knew he was just asking to hear Niall say he had chosen well.

“It’s alright.” Niall told him, trying to keep a neutral facial expression even when the older man had to cover his laugh with a choke and a sip of water. God damn it, why was there not a single flaw in Liam’s life? Well, apart from the fact that he was a workaholic, but he enjoyed it that way and he was passionate enough about his work to study some random guy’s blog and stalk him to a casino on a weekday, so not even that was an argument really.

“You can also order something else.” Maybe Niall should have, just to show Liam, but he probably wouldn’t have even cared anyways and Niall _wanted_ to eat this, so there was that.

“I’m good, thank you.” He shrugged, still pretending that it was just mediocre food. Even the water here tasted better than water from the store or the tap, how was that even possible?!

They ate in silence, and then Liam just randomly started to ask Niall questions, really weird questions as well, like how he liked working at the firm, whether he had any contact to other employees except Zayn (probably because he was afraid somebody would hear word of them doing it on Liam’s office table), how his search for a new place was going, stuff like that. By the end of their meal, Niall had a really hard time still being angry with him.

And then of course Liam had to go ahead and give so much tip that the waiter’s eyes went big before checking whether Liam had made an error writing it down. So he was also a good person now? Niall wanted to hear nothing more.

“Do we, um, do we have a plan?” Niall dared to asked once they were back in the car, and Liam had asked him whether he wanted his seat heated. Of fucking course.

“Yes, we walk in and look for him, and I will take over from there on.” Great fucking plan. So transparent. “I told you, you really don’t have to worry.”

“Okay… what happens if he doesn’t wanna sign the contract?” What if he wasn’t a complete idiot and figured out that Liam was crazily obsessed with him and his book, so much he’d actually stalk him? 

“That happens all the time, we will at least have tried our best. Right?” Right, but Niall could hardly imagine Liam taking such a hit, and he was afraid he would ultimately be the one to blame, just because he was living in constant fear over being fired. 

Needless to say, Niall had never been to a casino before, especially not when there had been an event going on and a million people had shown up. Luckily, these people weren’t dressed AS fancy as at that restaurant and most of them actually looked like normal human beings. Maybe that was why Liam too off his jacket and pushed up his shirt sleeves. Something was wrong with this man, but it was all piling up at this point until Niall couldn’t put a finger anymore on what was the worst part about him.

Maybe there was nothing bad, maybe Niall was just frustrated because he had let Liam fuck him twice and now they were just doing business again. Well, not normal business, but something close.

“Tell me once you see him, but don’t be obvious about it.” Liam told Niall once they had kinda mixed up with all the other people, and Niall felt overwhelmed. The place wasn’t so big, but it was packed with people, and it kinda made Niall anxious to be in the middle of it all, but he knew to shut his mouth.

There was a message from Louis on his phone that Niall briefly answered while Liam was busy being obvious searching for this man while trying to be subtle. He would definitely not be home within the next hour, and there was also no need for Louis to wait up for him. 

They actually looked for quite a while, and turned down a few drinks, and Liam apparently looked the other way a few times when somebody recognized him, and they were probably also being really weird from the outside because they weren’t actually here to gamble, but luckily, there were too many people to look suspicious anyways. Also too many people to look for someone specific, and it seemed to frustrate Liam quite a bit.

“Maybe he’s not arrived y-“

“There he is.” Niall interrupted, kinda surprised by himself really. This guy’s smile was too obvious as to have not remembered it, and there he really was by the bar, speaking to somebody. “Should we say h-“

“No _we’re_ not going to say anything to him.” Liam told him immediately, his eyes having lit up and yes, he was definitely enjoying this game. This was so stupid. “Well, so nice to bump into you tonight, Mr. Horan. Allow me to buy you a drink.”

“Are we already pretending or is this a joke?” Niall asked, half amused, but he quickly zipped it when Liam threw a look at him. “I’d love a drink, Mr. Payne.”

“Excellent.” The smile on Liam’s lips looked WAY too real this time.

So they walked over to the bar, having a fake conversation, and they stood further away from that man than probably necessary but if it helped to feed Liam’s need for drama, then whatever. He had clearly read too many books in his life, and that probably wasn’t even an exaggeration. In a real crime story though, they would have joined this guy at one of the tables and Liam would have beaten him at poker and emptied his pockets until the guy would have had no choice but to sign the deal to get out of debt.

Maybe Niall should have rather not said that out loud though, he didn’t wanna give Liam any ideas.

Niall didn’t wanna get drunk so he just sipped on his drink a bit, getting tired of this fake work-related conversation. Also, he was starting to think this would not work out, but his back was towards the guy in question, and suddenly, he saw a very brief switch in Liam’s face and knew what was about to happen.

“… Liam Payne?” The guy had stopped dead in his track next to them, looking at Liam with surprise, who honestly pretended not to know him until the guy said his name. 

“Oh, right! I’m really sorry, it’s been a long day. So lovely to meet you here.” They shook hands, and the other guy seemed to be genuinely delighted as well. “Seems I’m running into all kind of familiar faces tonight. Just before I ran into Mr. Horan, he works at my firm.”

“Hi, nice to meet you.” Niall shook the guy’s hand as well, feeling like a criminal because the man was being all nice to him too before turning back to Liam. 

“Yeah, it seems the whole city is here, right? Maybe it’s a good thing, I’ve just been busy talking and had no time to actually lose any of my money.” Then he laughed, and Liam joined, and Niall tried to grin. God, why? “You’re one of the last people I would have expected to see here though.”

“The owner is an old friend of mine, I’m mostly here to… show support.” Liam explained, all natural, and Niall wouldn’t put it past him that he actually knew the owner. 

“Oh, really? Well, you can tell him this night was a total success.” The other man said before taking another sip from his drink, and then they continued on with some small talk, random things, and Niall kind of zoned off, still wondering why he had even come. Well, he was getting a bonus for it, maybe Liam had just needed some mental support, maybe it would have scratched his ego if he had shown up alone at a restaurant, maybe-

“I’m really sorry to interrupt, but I really need to use the bathroom. It was so lovely to chat to both of you.” WHAT?! “Mr. Horan, I will see you tomorrow at work.”

“I- yeah, I… see you, uh, tomorrow.” Niall shook his hand with the tightest grip because WHAT THE FUCK?!

Liam then said goodbye to the other man and then he turned around and he was GONE, just like that, he had left Niall sitting there, with this stranger, who easily slid into the now empty seat next to Niall, his strange smile giving Niall chills. He was going to straight up murder Liam. 

“So… you work for him, huh?” He started, and now Niall felt like getting drunk all of a sudden, so he had to take a big gulp of whatever Liam had ordered him. A mistake.

“Yeah.” Niall brought out with a really bad aftertaste in his mouth, his eyes burning a bit. Honestly, it would have served Liam right for Niall to tell this guy the truth now. But he couldn’t. “How’d you know him?”

“Oh, one of his people wrote to me, about one of my books… it wasn’t you, was it?” Now he suddenly looked suspicious, but Niall just shook his head.

“Nope, ‘m not a talent scout, I mostly just read scripts that come in.” He told him, shrugging. He also sucked Liam’s cock, should he have said that, too? 

“Cool. How long have you been there?” Okay, he was CLEARLY trying to get information out of Niall, and Niall hated that he was about to help Liam out here.

“Not too long, I was an intern for a while and then L- I got offered a long term contract. But I enjoy it so far.” Niall was careful not to speak too highly of the place, he didn’t want it to sound fake.

“What did you do before?” The guy kept asking, probably thinking Niall was already too drunk to notice. Sadly, he couldn’t even feel the alcohol at all.

“I’ve kinda been hopping from job to job in the past… I was mostly focusing on my music.” Niall decided to just be honest, so it would sound more authentic.

He really wouldn’t have expected this guy to be that interested though.

“Really? You’re a musician?” He leaned forward upon saying that and Niall leaned back, kinda automatically. “Sorry, I just- I used to play in a band. The drums. Sadly, we split up and I’ve also been going from job to job, I even lost my apartment at one point. Luckily I decided to start a blog and it’s taken off, and then I tried out writing and now… and now suddenly three different publishers want appointments with me.”

“Crazy.” Niall told him, pretending to be impressed, when in reality, he had already put the pieces together in his head.

NOW he knew why Liam had wanted him to come. 

“Sorry, I didn’t wanna, like- you probably don’t care. It’s just, I’ve been thinking about what to do all day and who to choose and whether I even NEED a publisher and now I bump into you and Liam Payne and- I wonder if it’s a sign.” Okay, now Niall felt even worse for this guy. “I mean, you would probably advise me to choose his firm, but-“

“I wouldn’t.” Niall interrupted without thinking, and the guy’s eyes went huge. “Not because I don’t think it’d be a good choice or that it’s a good publishing firm, but because I’ve no idea about your book or your situation. Also, we’re at a casino and I’ve been drinking.”

“Right, yeah.” The man laughed, licking his lips, only managing to stay quiet for a moment though. “So what kinda music were you making?”

So Niall just told him, that he was playing the guitar and singing since he been a child, about his gigs and how it had never quite been enough, how he had been kicked out by his roommate and had then lived on his friends’ couch. He didn’t mention that he still lived there though, he didn’t want this guy to think Liam’s firm consisted of incompetent, untrained people like Niall.

“You can definitely check out my covers.” Niall joked, but then he did ask for a pen and napkin from the bartender, because why the fuck not promote himself while he was at it?

“I will, definitely. But if your music does take off at some point, I don’t wanna be responsible for making Liam Payne lose one of his employees.” Oh, this poor guy joking around, not knowing how many people had apparently already quit in the past.

“Nah, I really enjoy working there, ‘m glad I got a chance even though I didn’t feel like I’d fit in. Y’know, with all these people wearing suits and shit. And I still play in my free-time, sometimes a gig, sometimes I just teach my nieces.” Niall quickly emptied his glass upon saying that, getting ready to leave, but first, he needed to pretend to be more drunk than he was. “And you know what? I even got CEO Liam Payne out of his office for once to come watch a gig of mine.”

“He did?” The other man seemed very impressed by that, and Niall shrugged, kinda thinking of ordering something else, but then he decided not to. “When I looked on the website, it all seemed really formal, and when I googled him personally… I also wasn’t sure.”

“The guy who built the website is totally stuck up, maybe that’s why.” Niall shrugged, and the other man laughed. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. And I should have had nothing to drink.”

“No, it’s fine, no worries, no one will ever know.” This poor soul really thought he was getting insider information from Niall. Then again… Niall knew Liam worked on the website himself sometimes, and he WAS stuck up, so… “I’m just a bit surprised, is all. Not in a bad way.”

“I’m glad I could help with that.” Niall joked, feeling like he should have not left it at this. “So, what’s your blog then? Since I already shared my covers with you.”

The man seemed all too happy talking about it, and himself mostly, and Niall nodded along, cracking a few jokes, careful not to get back to talking about the books or the firm. At some point, he decided it was enough, so he came up with an excuse, about how he was supposed to meet a friend of his and had forgotten the time.

“Well, it was nice to meet you. Good luck with… your blog? Books? Both?” Niall pretended to be slightly confused, the other man grinning when he shook his hand. “I’m definitely expecting you to share those links, you know?”

“Oh, I will, no worries. Thanks for that chat.” He seemed to genuinely mean it, and Niall felt bad, but he was also a little bit proud when he walked out of the casino a couple moments later.

No idea if that guy would sign anything at all, but Liam had left it in Niall’s hands, so he couldn’t complain.

Niall didn’t need long to find Liam’s car, wondering if Liam could even still drive before remembering that he had taken his full glass with him for his fake bathroom trip. The younger man didn’t bother knocking or saying anything, he simply opened the door and slid into the passenger seat, still upset.

“How’d it go?” Liam sounded very amused still, and Niall hated him for it all. “You’ve been gone for quite a while.”

“I can’t believe you did that to me. You told me you’d handle it.” Niall felt like a child throwing a fit, but he still crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Put your seatbelt on or we can’t leave.” Liam told him, and as upset as Niall was, he had to follow the order. “I knew you’d be better at handling this than me, if I had told you what I was planning, you would have freaked out and you would have asked me what to say. It wouldn’t have been natural.”

“Maybe it wasn’t, you weren’t there. Who knows what I said? Maybe I said he better sign with anybody else in this entire world.” A slight exaggeration. “Also, how much does this guy put on his blog? And how far back did you read it?!”

“Pretty much his entire life. And I read all of it.” Sounded like him.

“So you used my failures in life so he would think you’re a good person for hiring somebody like me, who happens to have a similar background story? You know this guy’s in there now thinking it was a sign he bumped into us?” Did Liam feel no remorse at all?

“I know he believes in those kinda things, he’s got a whole section of his blog dedicated to it.” Seriously?! “Look, Niall-“

“Thought we’re back at being professional.” Niall interrupted, and maybe he did still feel the alcohol a little tiny bit. Or just felt too confident now.

“Alright. _Mr. Horan_.” Liam sighed, and he was probably rolling his eyes too, but Niall was busy staring out of the window at his own reflection, because it was just complete darkness outside. “First of all, I didn’t use you, I’m paying you for it all, I’m even giving you extra. You didn’t have to do this, I left it up to you, and you can still tell me you wanna go back to working with Zayn, I’m not firing you and I don’t wanna force you to do things you don’t wanna do.”

“You’re in a position of power, and you’re using it against me because you KNOW I need the money and that I won’t say no, even if I maybe don’t wanna do these things. Especially without even knowing about them in the first place.” Okay, that was harsh, also not really the truth.

“Then tell me now, with zero consequences, do you think I overstepped a line and would you like to be transferred to working with somebody else tomorrow?” Shit.

“I… “ Niall started, letting it all sink in, and suddenly, he felt bad. He wasn’t angry for that reason, it was nothing like he had made it out to be, he was just upset with Liam for leaving him alone in this situation. “It’s not about that. I don’t mind working late, I didn’t mind tonight, I just… I would have liked a heads up. And I- I felt bad, for the guy. He’s got no idea you know so much about him, and now he thinks it’s a sign from the universe and that he should choose you.”

“And you think he shouldn’t?” Well… 

“I don’t know, how would I? I don’t know any other publishing firms, I don’t know how any of it works, do I? In fact, I really don’t know anything at all and I still wonder why you’ve not fired me yet.” Now Niall had finally said it, and he was suddenly starting to become a little bit nervous because maybe he shouldn’t have admitted any of that. Then again, he wouldn’t have to any of his former employers, but his and Liam’s relationship was… _very_ different from that.

Also, he already knew about Niall’s incompetence, so there was no need anymore to pretend or sugar coat it. 

There was silence, too much of it, and Niall started to play with his jacket sleeves, a nervous habit of his. When Liam spoke up again, he had become a lot more serious, no sign of amusement left. 

“You’re good with people, you’re real, you often say stuff out of nowhere and it makes me realize I’ve not looked at things from other points of views. I wouldn’t have hired you if it hadn’t been for Zayn, it’s true, but more and more I’m starting to see how important it is to have somebody there who kind of keeps things grounded, somebody with an outside view and opinion. You keep it real, that’s why I left you alone with this guy, because I would have messed it up.” Great, now Niall was blushing.

“You wouldn’t have-“

“Maybe not, maybe I would have, it doesn’t matter, I knew you were the better choice to do it either way. I genuinely was and am still impressed with this guy’s writing skills, and obviously everybody wants to have him. But when I read his blog, it did remind me of you and I kept thinking, this is some guy with a completely different background than me, somebody who is just talented and didn’t have to have any training for it. And I knew business talk and contracts won’t make sense to him, but I knew talking to you alone would maybe give him some sense of comfort. I’m not asking you to do these things or to stay late so I can show you I’m in charge, it’s because I see genuine potential in you. And also, if this guy signs the contract, I am going to keep it fair, he will get the recognition and the money he deserves, I will do anything I can to promote his books, maybe even one day see if any directors would be interested because the story would make quite the movie or show.” 

“… you should have told me all of that before.” Niall decided to say after a moment, still feeling hot, but also put at ease.

“Seriously, do you think your friend Harry Styles is an idiot?” Liam was laughing now, and Niall was confused for a moment.

“What has that got to do with H-“

“I’m his publisher, Niall, in case you forgot. I’m not saying this to make myself look great, but if you don’t believe I know what I’m doing, then your friend would pretty much be an idiot for sticking with me.” Okay, fair enough, Niall had to admit he had kinda forgotten about that. Kinda comforting, actually. “I do admit our reputation has suffered, but it had nothing to do with how I treat my clients.”

“… then what did it have something to do with?” Niall knew he was on thin fucking ice right now, but he couldn’t help but use the chance, regretting it when he saw Liam clenching his jaw a bit.

“Let’s just say, the competition doesn’t sleep and it doesn’t help if you know some of them on a very personal level. And vice versa.” He might have as well said nothing at all, because Niall didn’t get it. He had always just assumed that Liam was just so isolated and locked up in his office that the employees felt like he didn’t care about them. “Anyways, is there anything else you wanted to say?”

“I don’t think so, I- I wanted to say sorry, for, um… you know, implying you’re using me because you’re in a position of power and- it doesn’t feel like it, I said it because I was angry and… I know you wouldn’t force me to do things, and… that I could say no and nothing would happen. I, um… “ Niall broke off then, swallowing a bit hard, because if he was being completely honest right now, he had been upset for completely different reasons.

“You?” Liam asked, waiting for him to continue, but Niall needed a moment.

“I, uh… Louis saw the mark you left on my neck.” Niall simply blurted out with it, not knowing where else to start. “I made up an excuse and I think he bought it, I just, um- you know, about all these things we’ve done and, um, I just, I wondered what- like, what is this?”

“What do you think it is?” Good to know this was how Liam could be put in a lighter mood because he yet again sounded amused.

“I don’t know.” Niall admitted, because what was he supposed to say.

“Me neither.” Liam shrugged, but he was keeping it somewhat light-hearted, as if he also had no desire to explore this any further and maybe, well… find out?! “Are you enjoying it though?”

“I mean… yes.” Fuck, more than that.

“Do you think I’m taking advantage of you?” The older man kept asking, and this time, Niall didn’t have to think about it.

“No.” Not once had Liam not asked him if he wanted to stop, or given him a very easy way out. Also… Niall had initiated things as well, so there was that.

“Do you wanna stop?” Liam probably already knew the answer to that one.

“No.” Hell, there was nothing Niall wanted less. In fact, the fear that they would never do anything like it ever again had been weighing a lot heavier on his mind. “… do you?”

“No.” Thank fucking god. “Just checking.”

There was nothing left to say, Niall would just have to deal with the fact that maybe Liam was also only acting without really thinking it through, with no intentions and just because he felt like it. Was it stupid that Niall was a little bit hoping Liam sometimes asked him to work late because he wanted to spend time with him? Probably.

“Thank you for doing this tonight.” Liam suddenly broke the silence again, Niall having been lost in thoughts.

“Who knows if he’s gonna choose you though, maybe thank me only when he signed.” The younger man joked, but for once, Liam didn’t laugh about it.

“Doesn’t matter, I still appreciate it. I’m sorry for leaving you with no warning.” See, that was all Niall had wanted him to say, but now he kinda felt stupid for it.

“I’ve already forgotten about it…also… I might have told this guy I think your website sucks.” Niall told him to lighten the mood a little bit, and Liam seemed shocked for just a moment, but then he ended up laughing.

“I probably deserved that.” It was really nice, whenever Liam let down his guards, when he wasn’t acting like the CEO he was, when it was just them joking around, like normal fucking people. Niall wished it could have always been like this, but he knew it wouldn’t have worked, not with them working together. “You know, I’d offer you could sleep at my place and I’ll take you with me to work tomorrow, but your friends might get worried you died or that I made you work all night.”

“I, umm… “ Niall started, suddenly wanting it SO badly, it was almost killing him. But they couldn’t… could they? “You know, uh… the girls are asleep now, and sometimes when I get home, I wake them on accident and… it’s not fun for anyone. But… but it would really be weird if we arrived together tomorrow.”

“Not if I just let you get out a street or so away.” Had Liam already thought this through? “But it’s really up to you, they are your friends.”

“Yeah… “ Niall was tapping against the door handle, suddenly nervous now, but knowing exactly what he wanted. And god damn it, he wasn’t a child, he was about to move into his own place anyways and then he would never get into a situation like this ever again. So screw it, he wouldn’t find any rest tonight anyways if he turned this down now. “I think it’ll be fine, I can come up with an excuse.”

“Are you sure?” Liam asked again, and when Niall agreed quickly, he seemed very pleased with the answer.

Niall made sure to get out his phone to text Louis, just so they wouldn’t be worried again in the morning like last time. If his friend actually believed his lies still after this, it would truly be a miracle.

_To Louis 22:03  
Hi again, I just wanted to tell you that I probably wont come home tonight. Theres a lot to do and I don’t wanna wake you or harry or the girls in the middle of the night, so I will probably crash at a colleague’s place. don’t worry, we ordered food!_

Niall was going to hell, not just for that, but also for what he was hoping would happen once they got to Liam’s place.

\------------

Liam couldn’t say he wasn’t impressed with Niall, or that he wasn’t thrilled to know just how much Niall wanted to go home with him afterwards, that he obviously enjoyed what they were doing, hopefully as much as the other way around.

Of course Liam had questioned his morals, having sex with Niall in his office, letting him blow him with the door unlocked and everything else they had done. But it had already happened, no harm had been done, and though it wasn’t something Liam would have ever seen himself doing… here he was, doing exactly that. 

The most important part to him was that Niall didn’t just do it because he thought he had to, in order to keep his job, but judging by his words and how eager he was… that was pretty much an impossible option by now.

Liam offered Niall the guest room, but not very seriously at all, and it’d be a lie to say it hadn’t been his intention for them to end up snogging on his bed not even ten minutes after they had arrived. The older man had been itching to touch Niall the entire day, he had just been living in an illusion lying to himself that they wouldn’t end up doing this again. Maybe it was time to accept that their last time was very far in the future.

“Niall…” Liam mumbled between kissing, half whispering against the younger man’s lips, but Niall just whined, pulling him closer so they could kiss some more before he let Liam continue. He always got so damn clingy and needy so fast and god help Liam, but he loved it. “… you want a surprise for doing so good today?”

“What surprise?” Of course now Niall was okay with talking, and Liam almost laughed but he felt too breathless, pressing their lips back together, slowly reaching around to the back of his neck where Niall was holding onto him, taking a hold of his wrist instead to move it above Niall’s head, pressing it into the mattress. The younger boy whined a bit when Liam did the same to his other wrist, but he wasn’t complaining, just panting against Liam’s skin.

“You’ll see.” Liam promised, licking back inside Niall’s mouth to kiss him some more before moving on. He enjoyed this way too much, how easy it was to turn Niall on, how he seemed to love Liam being dominant, telling him what to do and manhandling him. 

It got out a side of Liam he had definitely known he had, but no one had ever been into it the way Niall had. Maybe it had a lot to do with the fact that Liam was Niall’s boss, but whenever they were doing anything, Liam very quickly forgot about all of that. Especially about the inappropriateness of it all, how they simply went back to working together the very next day.

Screw it though, Liam was enjoying this way too much as to make himself stop.

He didn’t know how far Niall wanted to go, but so far the younger man had been eager for absolutely anything, so Liam decided to take a risk.

He kissed Niall for a while longer, keeping his wrists tight in his grip before pulling away just so he could get to working on undressing the younger man, all while shushing him whenever Niall started to complain or tried to kiss him again. Unsurprisingly, Niall did what he had been told, simply moving a bit to help whenever Liam pulled off his clothing items until he was completely naked.

“What about y-“

“Did I say you could speak?” Liam interrupted, trying to keep his face firm, the fact that Niall immediately shook his head in silence making him smile on the inside. “Don’t move, or you’re not getting a surprise.”

It looked like Niall was about to speak, but then he didn’t in the last second and Liam leaned down to kiss him again, just briefly before moving his mouth down Niall’s neck, sucking on that bruise again to make sure it stayed. He could hear Niall whining above him, knew he was about to move his arms, but he stayed still, like he had been told.

Liam got a little too excited just thinking about it as he kissed down Niall’s naked body, only briefly taking in the fact that he was actually very beautiful, because he had no time to get stuck thinking about that. When he reached the younger man’s cock, it was already looking angrily red and hard, and Liam only brushed his fingers over the skin, just to watch Niall squirm a bit.

“Turn around. On your stomach.” He ordered Niall, forcing himself to stop staring at the younger man. “And stay still.”

Niall did exactly what he had been told, and Liam licked his lips before getting off of the bed to walk over to his closet, getting out two things before returning, careful not to let Niall see. He kinda didn’t wanna ruin the mood or break the tension in the room, but he also didn’t wanna overwhelm Niall, so he briefly put his hand on the younger man’s back.

“Tell me if you’re not into it, okay? Promise?” He made sure to say it in a nice voice, and not be firm like before, feeling the excitement itching in his fingertips though when Niall nodded against the pillow. “Cross your arms behind your back.”

“Fuck… “ It seemed to just escape Niall when Liam started to tie a knot around Niall’s wrists with one of his ties, and the older man decided not to scold him for it this time. He did pull the knot tight, but he also made sure to check whether he was cutting off Niall’s circulation or not, because he wasn’t quite sure if he would have told him.

“Okay?” Liam made sure to check again, feeling his own pants getting tighter just watching Niall trying to move his arms, being unable to and nodding. God damn it. “You should see yourself now… such a good boy, huh? Always doing what I’m telling you.”

“Liam… “ Niall was really only whispering, still squirming on the bed, and Liam was partly amused, partly really turned on, not being able to just sit here without touching.

He was still fully dressed as he leaned down to kiss Niall’s shoulder blade, moving one hand down between Niall’s arse cheeks, spreading his legs further so that two of his fingers could dip easily into his hole as he checked whether the younger man’s body was ready. “So wet already… do I really have that much of an effect on you?”

“Y-Yes… “ Niall mumbled into the pillow and Liam grinned against his skin, breathing in his scent as he moved his fingers a bit, just to hear Niall’s breathing increasing before pulling them out.

“Good.” Liam told him before sitting back, grabbing a hold of the dildo he had also brought with him, knowing that Niall wasn’t at all expecting it, and that only made it even better. “Time for your surprise, hm? For waiting so patiently, doing so well tonight.”

There was no answer, and Liam knew Niall was about to go insane, so he decided not to drag it out any longer. He didn’t turn on the vibrations as he dragged the dildo down Niall’s ass, hearing him gasp right before he started to push it in, very slowly, watching it disappear inside of the younger man’s body while Niall was moaning quietly above him. Fuck, Liam was so hard just doing this, he could barely contain himself now, just knowing that Niall loved this gave him more satisfaction than anything else could have.

Niall’s hole was being stretched by the dildo the wider it got towards the end, and the only sound in the room were the wet noises of Niall’s body producing enough slick to make the glide easy as Liam started to move it, thrusting the dildo in and out of Niall’s ass, slowly but with purpose.

“Does that feel good? Tell me.” Liam demanded, keeping the dildo in for a bit longer this time, in search for Niall’s prostate to make him squirm even more.

“S-So good, p-please don’t stop, pl- _aaah_ … “ Niall was keening when Liam had found the spot he had been looking for, holding Niall down as he tried to push up his arse when Liam massaged his sweet spot with the tip of the dildo, finally turning the vibrator on as well.

It was a little bit addicting, Liam had to admit, Niall moaning like a porn star while Liam was fucking him with the dildo, building a faster and harder rhythm, watching him struggle because his hands were tied up, the older man completely in charge. 

“Such a dirty mouth on you, you really want it bad, yeah? Say my name c’mon.” Liam half growled when Niall was getting louder, the words just falling out of his mouth after a couple of minutes.

“ _Liam! Liam, please, I- aaah- aaah, I want- your knot- please!_ ” It was a little hard to understand him, but shit, Liam didn’t need to be told twice.

He had pulled out the dildo just a second later, fumbling with his own pants and pulling them down just enough to get his hard cock out. Liam pulled Niall to sit on his own knees as well, using just a bit of force just so he knew who was in charge before fucking into him, keeping his arms around him so he wouldn’t fall, Niall’s tied up arms between them.

“Ah, shit, Niall, you’re still so tight and- ah, yeah, such a good boy, just for me.” Liam panted into Niall’s ear, moving one hand to lightly move around the younger man’s neck, not chocking him, just applying a little bit of pressure, feeling the vibrations of Niall’s moans.

The position wasn’t ideal, but it was also so fucking hot and Liam felt his knot growing faster than normally, just hearing Niall moaning his name while Liam was fucking him, attaching his lips onto the younger man’s neck again, feeling an urge to bite down hard. He could feel where his dick was pushing inside of Niall because he had his arm wrapped around his stomach, keeping him close so they wouldn’t lose balance.

They were both just moaning when Liam’s knot was about to fully expand, pushing it in one last time with a groan before releasing inside of the younger man, his orgasm washing over him and almost causing them to fall. Although Liam’s ears were ringing a bit afterwards, he grabbed a hold of Niall’s dick, pulling him off roughly and fast until Niall came all over his hand and the bed, with Liam’s name still on his lips.

They were both exhausted and out of breath afterwards, and also stuck together now in this position, which Liam hadn’t really thought about before. He pressed his lips against the back of Niall’s shoulder, trying to catch his breath. 

“Can you- you should lie down on your stomach.” Liam suggested while trying to fill his lunges with some air and Niall just groaned. 

“No, my stomach is… “ And then Niall broke off, and Liam just couldn’t help but to see what Niall was talking about, a little fascinated seeing it sticking out like that, full of Liam’s cum. Fuck. “Ah- don’t.”

“Sorry… “ The older man mumbled, having pressed down on it, maybe a bit too hard. Whenever Niall moved a bit, it still felt so fucking good and Liam could barely contain himself. “Okay, lie on your side then… if that works.”

They did somehow making it work, also, Liam made sure to untie Niall’s wrists, massaging them a bit after Niall had moved them from his back to his front, just to get the blood flowing again. Well, he hadn’t meant for his tie to leave marks, but it was too late for that now.

“Did I hurt you?” Liam just had to ask as they were lying down, spooning almost, but because they didn’t really have a choice.

“No… it was really hot.” Niall told him, making the older man laugh a bit breathlessly. “… are you trying to reenact some Fifty Shades kinda stuff?”

“I’ve no idea what you mean by that.” Liam told him honestly, getting a bit worried that maybe Niall wasn’t into it after all.

“Could’ve fooled me… “ The younger man mumbled. “… I liked it.”

“Good… “ Otherwise, Liam would have felt like a really terrible person.

They were forced to stay like this until Liam could pull out, and he honestly wasn’t so surprised that Niall had fallen asleep in those few minutes Liam had left to go to the bathroom. He made sure to throw the blanket over the younger man, lying down next to him feeling happy but a little nervous at the same time, and he wasn’t even really sure why.

\-----------------------

“Niall, you have to wake up in a few minutes.” Liam’s voice woke Niall the next morning, and the first thing he noticed was that his arms were hurting and he was so tired, he might have as well not slept at all.

“’mkay… “ He mumbled into the pillow, already half asleep again when he felt the mattress moving next to him.

There was silence for a bit and Niall drifted off again, only to be woken by laughter. “I can’t believe you did that… “

“What?” Niall wasn’t sure if Liam had even heard him or not, but his laugh was definitely disturbing his peace and quiet. 

“You told this guy to promote your music on his blog?! And he actually did it.” Oh… what? “Looks like he was up all night listening to your covers.”

“’cos I’m just that good… “ Niall whispered back, still half asleep, his brain not fully functioning yet, so he wasn’t actually sure if it was a dream or not. “Maybe me ‘nd him will make a band… put you out of business ‘cos no one will wanna read anymore… “

“I’m sorry to disappoint, but he also wrote me an email saying he would love to come for a meeting to discuss his book.” Before Niall could even react to that, he already felt Liam ruffling his hair, probably messing it up even more than he had last night. “You did well.”

“I know… you told me last night.” Should Niall have been embarrassed about letting Liam fuck him with a dildo? Probably, but he was still too tired and at least it made the older man laugh again for a moment. 

“We make a good team.” Liam told him, petting his shoulder before moving the entire bed again, probably because he was getting out of it now. “C’mon, get up now and get dressed, we’re already running late. You’ve got ten minutes.”

Niall wanted to complain, but he really couldn’t, especially not anymore when he felt Liam literally throwing his clothes on top of him that he had torn off last night before exiting the room rather loudly. The younger man lied there for a few more seconds, blinking up at the ceiling and wondering whether he was living a dream right now or a nightmare. 

Kinda funny really, how he couldn’t even tell anymore because the line seemed to be so bloody thin. It also didn’t help when he checked his phone to see a message from Louis from just a couple minutes ago, telling him that he shouldn’t overwork himself.

Well, Niall certainly wasn’t doing that, at least not in the ways his friend thought, because his arms and ass were definitely feeling overworked when Niall walked to the bathroom a minute later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone, another week over and i cant decide if it felt like a month or just a day! maybe kinda both tbh
> 
> i hope you enjoyed the chapter!!! nialls and liams relationship is progressing and i must say i very much enjoyed writing this chapter even though i wrote it all last night stressing out about not finishing on time haha :p im super happy so many of you are enjoying the fic, and that it brings you distraction in these confusing times. i hope you and your family/friends are all healthy and safe, ill talk to you next week or in the comments if you wanna leave your thoughts :) <3


	6. Chapter 6

“But I don’t want uncle Niall to leave.“ Both the girls seemed very sad about Niall’s departure, and it made Niall sad in return as well, although he had to admit he was pretty certain he’d get over it fairly quickly.

And so would the kids.

“You can still see him, love, he doesn’t live too far away, alright?” Harry tried to calm Josie, who looked very close to breaking out into tears while Clara was probably just mimicking her and didn’t actually understand why Niall was leaving and for how long. 

“I promise I’ll facetime one of your dads and we can talk on the phone, yeah?” Niall tried, even though he was pretty certain that would maybe only last a week or two. They had been fine not talking or seeing him in pretty long time spans before, they had simply gotten used to him. 

They had also been excited to see his new flat and stuff, but now that the day had actually come, that had changed very quickly. And the day had come fast because Niall didn’t have a lot of stuff anyways, he had just needed to buy a couple minor things and Louis and Harry had made him take things from their garage. Pretty sure they had just wanted to declutter, but Niall was grateful either way.

“But it won’t be the same.” Josie kept complaining, looking very close to tears as she went to hug Niall and he sighed while petting her head.

“I’m gonna miss you too, love. And of course you too, Clara.” Just to make it fair, but the younger girl was kinda more busy playing with her shirt. He’d miss all four of them, but not enough as to wanting to stay with them for any longer.

Things had gotten a little bit weird lately, because Niall had been gone so often, had spent nights actually working with Liam at the office and then other nights… well, let’s just say, it was kinda amazing in how many places Niall had let Liam fuck him in such a short amount of time, but he also didn’t regret it. At all.

It took some more until Josie was ready to let go of Niall, and then he went to give Clara another cuddle too before turning to Harry and Louis. “Thank you so much, for everything. I wouldn’t have gotten through this without you guys, and if you ever need anything at all, you know I’d do anything for you guys as well.” 

“We know, Nialler, and it’s no big deal. At times it was actually a lot easier having you with us, so if you feel like you wanna come back, y’know.” Louis laughed as if it was a joke, but Niall wasn’t sure if it had been one. He had definitely babysat quite a lot. 

“Or if you ever need anything else, we’re always there for you.” Harry promised before going to hug him, longer and tighter than Niall would have expected.

He went to hug Louis as well afterwards, kinda thinking he’d pull away sooner, but then Josie seemed to distract Harry and the other man used the chance to whisper something in Niall’s ear for only him to hear. “Be careful. Okay? With whatever it is you’re doing.”

Before Niall could have said something stupid, Louis had already pulled away, not really leaving him a chance and just causing Niall’s face to get heated. He knew that Louis had his suspicions, and rightfully so, because Niall hadn’t really done a lot to be subtle about things. Luckily, he was confident Louis had no idea that Niall was sleeping with his boss, and also that he hadn’t said a word to Harry because he didn’t wanna stress him out during his pregnancy. 

So it was actually a good thing for all involved that Niall was finally leaving.

There was more saying goodbye, a lot more dramatic than probably necessary, and by the time Niall walked up into the flat that was now his, for the very first time without knowing he’d leave again soon, it did feel just a little bit weird. 

The place was definitely small, there was just a bathroom and the kitchen and bed were in the same room, but it wasn’t AS tiny as Niall had feared, like, more than enough if it was just him. And who else should it have been, realistically? Exactly.

He wasn’t planning on staying there forever after all, it was just a start and hopefully things would continue to improve and Niall would be able to actually live a normal life, if that even existed. He had kinda given up hope on his music career, although that one guy promoting his music on his blog had definitely increased the views on his social media, but Niall knew nothing would come from it. It was still nice to be sitting down in his new place, the first place he had ever lived in by himself, and just strum away on his guitar, trying not to think of all the struggles that were probably still lying ahead.

\------------------------------

“And? How are the new interns?” Liam felt like he needed to ask Zayn although he kinda didn’t care. He hadn’t heard any complaints from anyone so far, so it was like… whatever?

“Isn’t it kinda sad that you have to ask _me_ that?” Zayn was upset because Liam had let him cover someone else’s workload after the person had been on sick leave for two days, but what had he been supposed to do?! The other employee was doing basically the same things as Zayn, AND Zayn had gotten another intern to help him with it all. “They’re alright.”

“Just alright?” Liam was a little amused, leaning back against his chair as he watched his friend on the table behind his desk, and Zayn simply shrugged.

“Yeah? What do you want me to say? They’re interns.” Okay, he was still pissed. And Liam should have probably expected that but the truth was, he had only really seen Niall over the last couple days, maybe weeks, he didn’t even know anymore. 

Since that guy had signed the contract after Niall had done such a good job at convincing him by not saying anything at all and simply being himself, Liam had not only started to question his own educational background and degrees, but also those of everyone working for his firm. And it was nothing against Niall at all, in fact, the more Liam got to know him, the more he actually enjoyed his company.

Like, apart from when they had sex or did whatever else, because as bad as it sounded, Liam wouldn’t have had to particularly like Niall as a person to sleep with him. But he did, and he knew it wasn’t ideal, but they still worked well together whenever they were at the office together, and also in private, so really, where was the problem?

“So should we keep them?” Liam continued, because he still needed an answer to this question. 

“Maybe, I don’t know, yeah. Why not? They’re doing their job.” The other man just shrugged again, as if it really was useless to have this conversation and maybe it was, but Liam was trying here. 

“… but you don’t like them as much as you liked Niall.” Was all Liam could conclude from that, and again, Zayn simply shrugged.

“Why’s that even matter? As long as the work gets done and everyone’s happy.” Was everyone happy? Liam wouldn’t have known. 

“Are you?” Probably not.

“I mean… yeah?” That was basically a no, and now Liam felt bad because he was neglecting everyone except Niall, but the thing was though, the firm did work just well this way, maybe even better than before, everyone felt like they were allowed to do their own thing and the work did get done and now they had signed this guy and… well, apparently Zayn didn’t seem to think that things were going well.

“You know you can say anything to me.” Just so he knew, that Liam wasn’t his boss right now but his friend because he felt like maybe that had become unclear a couple times in the past. 

“I don’t have anything to say, Liam, I think if there was a problem you’d know about it. And I think you know what I’m thinking about right now.” … did he?

“I’m not sure if I d-“

Liam got interrupted by the shortest knock on the door ever, and then Niall had already entered the office, looking as carefree as ever. It wasn’t unusual anymore to Liam, that Niall had grown a lot more confident around him even though things between them hadn’t been going on for THAT long. Then again, after doing what they had done it would’ve been weird had things not changed between them, seeing just how blushed and careful Niall had been when he had first started.

Well, there was barely anything left of that.

“Morning.” He didn’t even seem to care that Zayn was here, and it was just that one look from his friend that told Liam exactly just what Zayn had meant before. NOW Liam knew what he had been thinking about. 

“Morning.” Zayn said it back, barely turning around and Liam just nodded, staring at the cup of coffee in Niall’s hand as he put his bag next to the couch because Zayn was occupying the only chair. 

“I- what?” Niall asked, probably having noticed Liam’s stare, and he looked at the cup as well before looking back at Liam, honestly _rolling_ his eyes at him. “Sorry, I only got one for myself.”

This was the moment where the look on Zayn’s face changed, and Liam realized he had gotten himself in quite a stupid situation. Great.

“So, can you go down and get me one?” He tried to ask nicely, because normally he wouldn’t have asked Niall to do that anymore, but now that Zayn was here… 

“Well, if you insist.” Niall joked, clearly not wanting to go back downstairs and Zayn lifted one eyebrow while Liam was only too well aware of the other man’s stare. 

“I think I do, Mr. Horan.” Liam used his last name, which was now starting to feel weird because he had simply stopped doing it, and so had Niall, which probably hadn’t been the best idea considering no one knew about their private shenanigans. Then again, it hadn’t been too long, maybe 3 weeks? Liam wasn’t exactly counting the days.

“Fine.” The youngest man just shrugged then, putting down his own coffee, only half turning around as he walked to the door. “Still just black?”

“Yes.” Liam tried to make his voice sound strict, but he was well aware that it wasn’t really working all too well. So he felt prepared for the comments by Zayn the moment the younger man had left the room. 

There was silence between them, a rather uncomfortable one as well, and Liam tried not to care, but he kinda did. Nobody could know about them, not even Zayn, he wouldn’t have told anybody, but Liam knew he would have held him a speech.

“Now you know what I’ve been thinking about.” Zayn finally broke the silence, and it was Liam’s turn to roll his eyes although he kinda had to force himself to do it. Only because he wanted the other man to think he truly did not care. At all. 

“I’ve no idea what you mean.” Liam lied, opening his laptop to signal that this conversation was long over anyways.

There was a sigh from the other man, and then Zayn leaned forward, rubbing his hands over his face as if it was frustrating having to talk to Liam about this. It probably was.

“Seriously? Are we really gonna play this game? You _know_ what I mean, Liam. This is ridiculous. Look, I don’t care what you and Niall get up to-“

“Work.” Liam interrupted quickly, his voice not having sounded as firm as he would have liked though.

“But it is kind of ridiculous. Ever since you made him your personal assistant or whatever, I don’t think anyone in this entire firm has seen you more than once. And yeah, things are working and everyone’s doing what they’re supposed to do, but even if they weren’t, how’d you even know? You just rely on me telling you, I might as well be lying, why would it matter? Pretty sure some employees think this firm runs itself without a CEO.” A bit harsh, but Liam got where he was coming from.

“Has anyone complained?” It was a serious question, but it only made Zayn sigh louder.

“No. Is that all you care about? You know, for people to start complaining, they would first have to actually _care_.” He was getting angry, and Liam was slightly overwhelmed because this was NOT what he had been expecting.

“Okay, so what do you think-“

“It’s not about what _I_ think, is it? It never was. You’ve been running this place however you wanted to from the beginning, which is fine, it’s your firm, you can do whatever you want. But I’ve told you times and times again that your relationship with the employees is- well, there is no relationship. And now that suddenly Niall is here, I’m starting to see what everyone meant because I barely see you anymore either. You know, suddenly it makes sense they all took those offers from your d-“

“Don’t finish that sentence.” Liam interrupted, clenching his jaw tightly because his friend was about to overstep the damn line. 

“Sorry, but it’s true. I don’t know what else to tell you.” He got up then, looking as if he might just walk out, but then decided not to in the last second. “And it’s none of my business what you and Niall get up to, and whether it’s really just work or not, but if anyone besides me ever sees how differently you treat him it will definitely spread through this entire building. Maybe it’s time you take responsibility for everything that happened to this place.”

Liam had nothing to say to that, so he just watched Zayn walk out of that door, leaving him behind with a sinking feeling in his stomach. He knew Zayn was right, about everything, but Liam had never bothered to change anything, and hiring Niall had really been the first step to at least doing something about that constant staff shortage, but now that had turned out not so much in Liam’s favor.

When Niall came back a few minutes later, he looked happy putting the cup of coffee on Liam’s desk. “You know, if I had known you still wanted me to bring you coff-“

“I don’t, it wasn’t about that.” Liam tried to tell him, but the younger man just had a confused look on his face, so Liam motioned for him to sit down, folding his fingers together. “We have to be more professional around other people. Including Zayn.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah, sorry, I didn’t think about it and-“

“It’s fine, just for the future, okay?” Of course Liam could have let it all out on Niall, but looking at him across the desk with that guilty look on his face… he wouldn’t have brought it over his heart to do that. See, it WAS a problem that they were closer than appropriate, and Liam couldn’t even be mad because it was all his own fault.

“Okay.” Niall told him quickly, now seemingly having become unsure and they sat in silence for a moment of Liam trying to come up with something smart to say. Anything at all, but the younger man was faster. “… everything okay?”

“Yes.” Liam lied immediately, seemingly not as convincing as he would have liked because Niall raised his eyebrows and the older man sighed, because screw it, he didn’t care anymore if Niall knew or not, he had been bound to find out. “You know that a lot of people have quit their jobs here. Right?”

“Uh, yes, are they- did more people quit?!” His eyes immediately went huge and Liam almost had to laugh but he just shook his head instead. Was he really about to tell Niall about his problems now? Was this how far they had come?

Apparently.

“They quit because they were made better offers, from the same place.” Liam continued while staring at some paper on his desk, knowing that they should have actually been working on something, but he wasn’t in the right mindset anyways. Which was rare, but here they were. “My father has a publishing firm. They work for him now.”

“I- oh.” Was all Niall said to that, which was understandable. What else was there to say, seriously? “Why would he-“

“I mean, it’s a bit obvious, isn’t it? We’ve never had the best relationship… if any at all.” Liam continued, tapping his fingers on the wood of his desk, kinda not being able to believe that he was truly saying all of this right now. “Of course he did it on purpose, so it’s like… I wasn’t even surprised or anything. He is better at running a firm.”

“But he needs your employees?” Niall asked, looking confused but also as if… as if he felt sorry for Liam.

“He doesn’t need them at all, I would assume. Maybe he already fired them again, I don’t care to find out.” Maybe he did, but that was none of Niall’s concern anyways. “So now you now why they quit.”

“I’m sorry.” The younger man told him immediately, but he barely waited before continuing. “… um, but why is that a problem right now? I thought the new interns-“

“It’s not a problem anymore, it’s just- you know, Zayn’s like- he’s upset. That I barely go and talk to my employees, I’m mostly just up here in my office.” Liam made a throwaway motion with his hand, clearing his throat because he actually did not enjoy talking about any of this, his own failures in life. It felt too private to tell anybody really, but Niall was already here and he had sucked Liam off in the shower at his house on the weekend, so really, was there even still a line?

“I already told you that as well. I mean, it was kind of a joke, but- sorry, that was rude, I just- why not just go and talk to them more?” Sounded like a simple solution to a problem blown out of proportion, right? Well, there was just one issue with that.

Liam just stared at Niall, debating whether to say this or not, but Niall just looked confused and a little as if he was truly worried about Liam and he KNEW Liam by now and he had said this much, so really, what was holding him back?

“I’m… I’m not the greatest at conversations, in case you haven’t noticed.” There, Liam had said it.

“But you’re always really good with clients and-“

“Yeah, that’s work related stuff, it’s different, but I mean- look, I’ve never been that present in the firm, so starting now would already make people suspicious, and then combined with the fact that I actually don’t feel a need to go and get to know my employees better and also wouldn’t know HOW to do that, I doubt it would make things any better. Also, everything is going really well right now, it’s just Zayn that is upset.” Liam had to knock on wood after saying that, but it was actually the truth. 

“He’s probably worried about you.” Probably not.

“Maybe.” Liam shrugged, kinda feeling embarrassed now, which he really hated, especially because- it was stupid, but he felt like he could talk to Niall about these things for some reason and it was a little nice, but also making him feel a bit uncomfortably vulnerable. “Well, it doesn’t matter right now, we have a lot of work to do.”

Niall didn’t get up though like he usually would have, he just remained sitting on that chair, still staring at Liam, not looking very impressed with the order whatsoever. “If you’re worried about it, you should change something. I mean, obviously I’ve got no experience on how to run a place, but I just know the employers I liked the best were the ones who were available and would check in on the employees.”

“I think that’s kinda obvious.” It wasn’t the problem that Liam didn’t know these things, it was more the problem that he didn’t know how to execute them. “Look, I know there are problems in this firm, and I will work on fixing them. First, I had to replace people, and it seems to be working well with the interns for now.”

“Have you talked to them?” Niall asked, and Liam almost wanted to roll his eyes at him, but he realized that that was a little childish maybe. Just maybe.

“I will.” Sometime in the future. Or so. “We should really get started. Where’s your laptop?”

“In my bag.” The younger man told him, and Liam already had his mouth open to tell him to go and get it then, but Niall just left him in stunned silence when he leaned forward a bit, saying it kinda casually. “I can blow you if that helps.”

“You- with what?” Seriously, Liam couldn’t believe he had just said that right now, just shrugging before giving an answer, as if it was completely normal. Thing was though… it kinda WAS normal for them. 

“With stress? I don’t know, just trying to help.” Niall made it sound as if he didn’t even want to, and then he also got up just to get his laptop and return, probably highly aware of Liam watching his every move like a hawk.

“We really have to work.” Like, REALLY.

“I know, I was just offering, is all. I don’t _have_ to suck your dick.” Okay, when he was talking like that all casually it was weird, mostly because he was always so submissive in bed and god damn it, he had to know Liam loved it. “But I wouldn’t mind. Actually, I’ve got something to celebrate. I officially moved into my flat yesterday.”

“You wanna celebrate moving into your flat by blowing me?” Liam said it in the most neutral way he could manage, because sometimes, he just couldn’t believe Niall. Ever since he had overcome his apparent fear of Liam firing him for every wrong word or step, sometimes he definitely said things Liam would have never expected to ever hear out of his mouth. 

“Kinda. I mostly just don’t want you to be stressed out all day and work in here with you because it’s also not so much fun for me and-“

“Fine, okay.” Liam interrupted, as if HE was doing Niall a few, and the younger man immediately started to grin proudly, getting up from his chair with no further questions asked. No idea if it would make any difference to have Niall blow him right now because it surely wouldn’t fix Liam’s problems, but it might be a start. “You have to be quick though.”

“Okay? It’s not up to me.” Niall told him, already having walked around the desk and they had never done this before, although they had definitely had sex in Liam’s office a couple times before.

“I know, just- we have to work.” Liam reminded him yet another time, mostly just talking to himself though and the younger man simply shrugged this time, still with a grin on his lips when he leaned down to kiss Liam, very briefly though before pushing his chair back so he could get down on his knees. 

Niall wasn’t usually the one to initiate things, it was kinda like, a mutually agreed on thing most of the time anyways, and it was also mostly Liam taking charge, so he had to admit it was kinda turning him on to have Niall wanting to do this so badly.

The younger man was almost half underneath the table as he pushed Liam’s legs apart, grinning up at him as he briefly had a feel through his pants, not teasing long though before opening the button and pulling down the zipper while Liam was just sitting there watching, licking his lips. He wasn’t hard, but Niall seemed to take this doing it quickly very serious when he immediately pulled Liam’s dick out of his boxer shorts, giving him maybe two measured jerks before leaning forward to lick a fat stripe along the whole length of it and Liam leaned back more comfortably, letting his eyes fall closed.

Niall was really good at giving blowjobs, he had asked Liam to fuck his mouth a time or three, but Liam had been really hesitant to really do it because he was afraid of choking the younger man. And speaking from experience, he didn’t have the best gag reflex, so there was that. 

There was no sound audible in the room except the wet noises of Niall’s mouth on Liam’s hardening dick, pulling off sometimes just to wank him for a couple of seconds, spreading his own saliva while sucking on the tip, paying extra attention to the sensitive skin beneath Liam’s foreskin as he pulled it back and the older man had to choke back a moan.

He placed his hand on the back of Niall’s hand, just because he knew the younger man liked it whenever he did it, and he was immediately rewarded by Niall taking the entire length of his half hard erection into his mouth, bobbing his mouth a little faster this time while his hand was wrapped around where Liam could feel his knot growing. 

“Just like that… _yeah_ … “ Liam could feel his breathing increasing, his belly tightening the closer he got, praying to god that Niall wouldn’t stop.

And then, when Liam was SO CLOSE, everything went really fast.

There was a knock at the door and Liam had pushed Niall off almost immediately, moving a bit forward in his chair, and not a second too soon, because Zayn had entered the office without waiting for Liam to say anything at all. Jesus fucking Christ.

“Sorry, I just wanted to say something, I- where’s Niall?” Zayn was still in the doorway, thank fucking god, and Liam was sweating and he was sure his face was flushed, but other than that, he was pretty sure Zayn wouldn’t have been able to tell a difference. 

“He- uh, I sent him to- ummm- I- _shi_ \- he’s getting something.” Liam finished quickly, because Niall STILL had his hand around Liam’s erection, and apparently he was thinking it was fucking FUN to just keep going. 

“Okay, I just wanted to- are you okay?” Now Zayn was coming closer and Liam quickly cleared his throat, letting one hand fall subtly underneath the table to try and push Niall off, but it kinda wasn’t working.

“’course. What’s up?” Liam tried to sound casual, kinda completely having forgotten that Zayn had just stormed out a couple minutes ago after sort of blaming Liam for the fall of his own firm. 

“I wanted to apologize. For what I said before. Or what I was about to say, I… “ He broke off then, and GOD, could he just hurry the fuck up because Niall’s mouth back on Liam’s dick was the last thing the older man needed right now. “Look… I was upset that you took Niall from me and replaced him with another intern, and the new intern is fine, I just… you know, I guess I was mad because I made you hire him to help me and then you took him for yourself. And it’s not your fault your dad’s a dick, obviously, I shouldn’t have implied that.”

“You didn’t- you- um… it’s fine.” Liam had to suck in a breath, hiding his moan with a cough when Niall squeezed his growing knot a bit too hard on pure purpose. “It’s all good, really. I’m sorry I took Niall from you, and you’re right about me needing to talk to my employees more and- I will. I’m really grateful I’ve got you working here with me, not just as a friend but also as colleague.”

“And I’m grateful you haven’t fired me yet.” Zayn laughed and Liam tried to join but he was sweating and honestly, he was about to blow when Niall simply started to suck him off again, as if they were still all alone. Fuck. “If I can help you in any way… I can maybe talk to the others or, you know, whatever else.” 

“Thanks, Z, I- um, I’ve gotta figure this out and then-“ And then Liam had to fake another cough.

“Are you really ok-“

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, just, you know- a cold. Whatever. Thank you for coming, I really appreciate it.” He did, but not under these fucking circumstances.

“I also… I also wanted to say sorry for kinda implying you and Niall are more than just working together.” How ironic. “I didn’t want it to sound like I thought you are that kinda person who sleeps with employees.”

“No worries, I know you were just upset.” Liam faked a smile, which, honestly, was the hardest thing he had ever had to do. “We can just forget about it all?”

“That’d be great, yeah… maybe one of these days you’ll come and grab something to eat with me again? Like old times? And we could… talk about some stuff?” Okay, but could he _leave?!_

“Sure, yeah, why not?” Liam agreed, which he would probably regret in a couple days, but right now, he genuinely did not know what else to do. “I’ll- I’ll let you know.”

“Okay, great.” The sad thing was, Zayn genuinely seemed to think that it was indeed great, and now Liam felt kinda bad, but also… not really. “Well, I’ll leave you to it then.”

“Yeah, thanks again for coming to talk.” Liam told him quickly, and it still felt like bloody hours until Zayn had left the damn office and pulled the door closed behind himself. “Niall, you- _fuck_ … “

Niall was only getting more into it again the moment they were alone, and Liam couldn’t do anything about it, didn’t even WANT to do anything either because it just felt so bloody good to have Niall’s hot mouth and lips wrapped around him, fingers pressing around his swelling knot with a little bit too much expertise by now.

When Liam came a couple minutes later, it was kind of without warning, but all the build up and just- fuck. He half came into Niall’s mouth and his face, and he couldn’t even watch because he was busy gripping the edge of the table as he rode out his orgasm while the younger man was working him through it, only completely letting go when Liam weakly pushed him away. 

“Talk about quick.” Was all Niall had to say having to half crawl out from underneath the table and Liam honestly had NO idea what to say because he was both upset but also kinda satisfied.

The younger man went to the bathroom to clean his face or do whatever else, giving Liam some time to get fully dressed again, and upon Niall’s return, he had decided how to handle this situation. Yeah, it had been kinda hot, and maybe it had relaxed him, but it could have also gone _very_ wrong.

“Niall. You can’t do that.” Liam told him firmly when the younger man had sat down, still with a happy face. 

“Do what? You wanted me to blow y-“

“I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about you keeping it going with Zayn literally five meters away.” Yeah, there was a board at the back of Liam’s desk, but STILL. “What would you have done if he had noticed?” 

“It was just for fun, and you hid it well. And you came pretty hard over my face, so you can’t even say you didn’t enjoy it.” He had a cheeky grin on his face now, shrugging, as if he was trying to piss Liam off on purpose. “And it helped relax you, yeah?”

“That’s beside the point and you know it.” Liam tried to take a deep breath, to settle himself. He didn’t need anymore problems today, and they really needed to start getting to work if they ever wanted to go home tonight. “You can definitely expect consequences. And wipe that cheeky grin off your face, we need to work.”

“Fine.” Niall rolled his eyes, seemingly still not impressed as he turned on his laptop.

“Niall.” Liam warned him one last time, and this time, the younger man just sighed. 

“Sorry.” His apology was very halfhearted, and Liam clenched his jaw but he refrained from saying anything else.

This was going to be a long day.

\-------------------------

Niall hadn’t really done it to piss Liam off at first, but then he had decided it was kind of a little bit fun, and he was also very curious about the so called consequences the older man had talked about, so really, Niall wasn’t to blame for pushing the boundaries the entire day long.

He wandered off for his lunch break, returning way too late, and then pretending not to hear Liam a couple of times when the older man tried talking to him. He also kept yawning the later it got, way louder and more often than necessary, and he could tell Liam was getting angrier the longer the day dragged on.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Liam asked with pulled up eyebrows when Niall started to pack his things at 5 pm on the dot. 

“Home. My shift is over.” Niall told him as if he didn’t know. Liam couldn’t keep him here, and even though they were just playing a game, Niall knew he wouldn’t have.

Good thing Niall had long realized that the older man would have never fired him in a million years.

“You’re not going home.” Liam told him, as if it was already decided, but Niall decided to keep pushing him and simply pretend as if he hadn’t heard a single word. “Niall. I’m warning you.”

“I’m not getting paid past 5, I’m not staying. No idea what you’re going to do, but I’m hungry and I wanna-“

“I said, you’re not going home.” The older man had gotten up, starting to pack up his own stuff as well. Perfect, exactly what Niall had wanted. “Your behavior was absolutely unacceptable today.”

“Maybe you just need to loosen up a bit.” Niall suggested with a grin, a little bit proud of the glare on Liam’s face. Had Niall known sucking him off with somebody else in the room would piss Liam off so much, he might have tried to initiate it sooner. Angry Liam was kind of fun, Niall had always done what he wanted so far, maybe that had been a mistake, maybe this would prove to be even better. “Are you also going home?”

“Yeah, and you’re coming with me.” Liam simply decided, much to Niall’s excitement, but he tried not to let it show.

“What if I don’t want to?” A joke, of course, and Liam knew it with just one glance at the younger man’s face. 

“I didn’t ask you, did I?” Was all he gave back, half snapping at Niall, who tried to hold back a grin, patiently waiting for Liam to get his things as well.

It was very rare, for Liam to leave this early, so Niall wondered whether anybody they passed by was thinking anything of it or whether they had simply forgotten what Liam’s face looked like anyways. And Niall’s along with it, because he was also always locked in that office with the older man.

Not that he minded it.

“Have you ever left this early before?” Niall asked shortly before they were getting into Liam’s car, but he didn’t get an answer, so maybe he had truly overstepped a line. Good. 

The drive was equally as silent, and Niall did turn on the radio without asking, only to have Liam turn it off again a second later, almost making him snort. He didn’t though, instead, Niall simply started blabbering about his new flat, just to get on Liam’s nerves, just because why the hell not?

There was another car parked in Liam’s garage when they arrived, and Niall almost thought the older man had bought himself a new one yesterday after work or something, but the mystery was easily solved when they entered the house through the side entrance.

“Oh, Mr. Payne, I had no idea you would be home so early, I’m so sorry, I would have-“

“It’s no trouble at all, don’t worry. You can go home now, I’ll stay pay you the day.” It was the first time Liam had smiled in maybe even hours and Niall easily recognized that it was very fake. 

“I’m Niall.” He introduced himself to Liam’s housekeeper, who looked very confused, but did end up shaking his hand before getting her things so she could go home. “Why’ve I never met her before?”

“None of your concern, go upstairs. I’ll come later.” Was all Liam told him, and Niall rolled his eyes, but he did what he had been told even though he was kinda hungry. Then again, it wasn’t as late as usually, so he’d manage to get something to eat later for sure.

Ironically enough, this was the first time that Niall didn’t have to text Louis or Harry that he wouldn’t come home, and he had also only ever spent last night at his flat, and now he was already back at Liam’s. 

Niall made a beeline for Liam’s bedroom, having left his stuff downstairs, and for a moment, he actually thought about what to do, what would get Liam the most upset. Then again, Niall knew he would already be pissed off enough at him anyways, so it probably wouldn’t even make that much of a difference anymore.

So Niall simply took off his clothes and put on some of Liam’s joggers before going to lie in his bed, over the covers, playing with his phone while waiting for the older man to come upstairs. Was he eating downstairs or something? Or maybe he was so pissed at Niall that even his punishments would have to wait, who even knew?

Niall did have to admit that maybe he had gone a bit far continuing to suck Liam off with Zayn in the room, but the truth was, he hadn’t really been thinking about it, and in the heat of the moment, well… he had kinda thought it was a little bit funny. And it had all ended well after all, hadn’t it? Liam could’ve been more relaxed as well had he not been so uptight.

It took quite some time of Niall just lying there, wondering what was going to happen, and at some point, he thought Liam had even forgotten about him when he finally heard him coming up the stairs, so he put his phone away because he knew Liam would have told him to anyways in a couple of seconds.

“Are you gonna apologize for today?” He seemed to be calmer now, just standing in front of the bed, undoing the buttons on his sleeves while Niall just watched, shrugging.

“I don’t know what for.” He lied, biting back a smile. If they were going to play this game then Niall wanted to play the full length. “I didn’t think it was a big deal, and I think you overreacted.”

“And did I ask what _you_ think?” Liam asked, still calmly. 

“No, but-“

“Then maybe you should stop speaking now.” Oh, okay, he was getting serious after pushing up the sleeves of his button up, and Niall definitely felt his heartbeat increasing a bit, but mostly because he was excited about what was to come. “You didn’t have to bother with those pants. Take them off.”

So Niall did, simply pushing them off of the bed completely, now lying completely naked in Liam’s bed. Not the first time, would certainly also not be the last time.

“Since I think you were kinda asking for this punishment and kept pushing me the whole day, I don’t think a simple apology will do.” Liam continued as he walked over to his closet, and god damn it, was it stupid Niall got excited simply because he knew what Liam kept in there? Not that they were both so kinky that they needed to use toys all the time, but it definitely had something. And especially when Liam was acting all bossy. “You’ve been very naughty, Niall.”

Niall stayed quiet, almost wanting to hold his breath, and he was a little bit disappointed when Liam came over to the bed with just a fabric in his hands, his facial expression very serious, and harder than usually.

“If you don’t think you can take it, you need to tell me.” Liam told him, now not playing the game for a second, and Niall made sure to nod. He wanted this, really badly actually, embarrassingly much. “Speak up.”

“I can take it.” Niall told him, almost wanting to roll his eyes, but turns out, there really was no reason to when Liam smirked before making Niall lift his head a little bit.

He ended up blindfolding him, which was the last thing Niall had actually expected, and he felt himself starting to become a little nervous because he couldn’t see anymore what else Liam was doing, which had probably been the point of it all. Still, Niall obviously wanted to keep going, because this might have been the hottest thing they had ever done.

He just heard Liam moving around the room before he returned, this time to pull Niall’s arms above his head, tying up his wrists to the headboard so the younger man could only move his lower body still. Not for very long though.

The way Liam’s bedframe was built, it was fairly easy for him to also make the younger man spread his legs a bit further only to tie up his ankles on each end of the bed as well, leaving Niall spread out on the bed, completely naked and breathing heavily at this point. 

Okay, maybe he had been a little bit too cocky before.

“Hmm… well, maybe I should just leave you here for now? You’d deserve it for the way you acted today.” Liam spoke in a calm voice, slowly, and Niall wanted to squirm, but he knew it would have only made Liam wanna leave even more. And now he was genuinely afraid that he would. “On the other hand… “

It was killing Niall that he had no idea where Liam actually was in the room, or what he was going to do, and yeah, it added a strange kind of thrill to the whole thing, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t also a little bit frustrating. Also because he couldn’t touch Liam back, and who wouldn’t have liked to touch him?!

When Liam made the mattress move, it was a little out of nowhere, especially because his lips were on top of Niall’s a few seconds later, tongue slipping past immediately to deepen the kiss. For a moment, Niall almost thought that maybe this punishment would not be a punishment at all, but as quickly as Liam had started to snog him, as quickly had he moved again, lips smearing down the younger man’s neck, sucking his skin so tightly between his teeth that it almost hurt a bit.

He didn’t bite down, obviously, but for just the flicker of a second, Niall wouldn’t have minded it.

“E-Everyone’s going to see… “ Niall brought out when Liam sucked yet another bruise on his neck, closer to his collar bones.

“Then you will just have to be careful… and if you make one more sound, I’m going to stop immediately.” Liam told him, giving Niall goosebumps as he spoke against his skin before sucking on it again.

The younger man tried his best to stay still when Liam continued to kiss down his chest, taking a nipple into his mouth and biting down, just tightly enough to give Niall the idea of the pain, but it was mostly on the more pleasurable side. He took his time, twisting the other nipple between his fingers, every now and then a little harder than Niall would have expected, immediately causing him to jerk a bit, biting his lip bleeding in an attempt to keep his mouth shut. 

Just from this, Niall could feel his body producing slick to prepare for penetration from an alpha, but it was obvious that that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, even as Liam stopped torturing Niall’s nipples and kissed down his stomach, almost making him laugh, right before making him want to groan when he stopped before getting to Niall’s half hard erection.

“Suddenly you know how to be good again, huh?” Liam asked, and Niall knew better than to say anything right now. He needed some friction so badly, it was almost killing him at this point. “I do wonder if this is really a good punishment for you, seems you’re enjoying yourself a bit too much…. are you? Speak up.”

“No.” Niall lied, although, only half a lie because he wasn’t really having massive fun, he was just really turned on and hoping Liam would just do something, anything at all.

“Hmmm… “ Was all the older man made, and then there was silence for a few seconds, silence that almost drove Niall insane, only to cause his body to jerk a bit when Liam suddenly grabbed a light hold of his erection, barely moving his fist up and down, thumb sloppily swiping over the head and his nail got caught in the slit.

“ _Ah_ … “ It was only a really light moan, very quiet, but enough so that Liam’s hand were gone on an instant, and now Niall couldn’t hold back that frustrated groan anymore either. “Li… “

“I said _no_ sounds, Niall. See, I knew you were enjoying this way too much to be a punishment of any sort.” He got up off the bed now, and Niall felt like crying when he heard him going through his closet yet again.

When Liam returned this time though, there were no more touches, just his voice next to Niall’s head.

“Are you still okay?” He asked it in a different voice again, softer, and although Niall wanted to cry, he made sure to answer. “Can I do something else?”

“Yes… “ Fuck, as much as torture as this was, it was also bloody hot.

When Liam sat next to him on the bed again, Niall had no idea what to expected, he just knew that Liam suddenly grabbed a hold of his erection again, but only to put something kinda tight around it, making Niall moan quietly as he slid it down easily, trapping his balls as well before he let go again. A fucking cock ring, he was definitely trying to kill Niall.

“Just to make sure you don’t come, because you wouldn’t want to do that when I told you no, would you?” Liam asked in a rather cheeky voice, and before Niall knew it, he had nudged his legs apart even more, the noise of a buzzing vibrator suddenly filling the room.

One second there was nothing, the next Liam was purposely dragging the vibrator down the inside of Niall’s legs, holding it against his balls for way too long while the younger man was pulling on the string keeping his hands tied to the bed, undoubtedly leaving marks by now.

When Liam pushed the vibrator against Niall’s taint, he honestly wanted to cry from being so turned on, but when he started to tease pushing it inside the younger man’s hole, it was really over for Niall.

“ _Please_ … “ He moaned, trying to push his hips down, but Liam wasn’t pushing it in, no matter how much Niall wanted it.

He kept moving it over the tight ring of muscles, lubing it up with the slick dripping out of Niall’s ass, pushing it a few centimeters only to pull it back out, never quite enough to bring any satisfaction. 

“You’re _really_ being a naughty boy today, Niall, I think I might have to keep you quiet with some help.” Wait…

Liam pushed the dildo inside with one movement, and Niall moaned again, louder this time, the strains of the cockring kinda intensifying the feelings even more, if that was even still possible.

He had no idea where Liam was or what he was doing, he was focused on the vibrator strumming against his prostate and his dick hurting from not getting any attention. When Liam was back by his head, Niall’s mouth was hanging open with no sounds coming out, his back arching from pleasure.

“Bite down on this.” Liam told him, pushing some fabric into Niall’s mouth that was making it a lot harder to make any sounds at all, and before Niall knew it, the older man had tied it behind his head. “See? Now you’re being a good boy. And don’t you dare come until I say so… I gotta do something downstairs. Be good and I might forget what you did today.”

And then he LEFT, left the room leaving Niall tied up and blindfolded in his bed, with that fucking vibrator pushing Niall closer to the edge with every damn second. The cockring was helping a bit to hold back, but if anything, it was also only making Niall more sensitive, and he knew was crying behind that fabric covering his eyes, biting down hard on whatever was inside his mouth to try and shut out these noises wanting to escape him.

Niall had never needed to come so badly in his entire life, had never been so close before and yet feeling so far at the same time.

He had no idea how long Liam was gone for, all he knew was that through his constant movement, he was slowly pushing the vibrator out of him and that was also not what Niall wanted, and he felt frustration growing inside of him as he kept squirming on the bed, against his restraints. NOW it felt like a true punishment.

\------------------------

Liam took his time downstairs, he made sure to shut all the blinds, check all the doors and get himself something to drink, a weird kind of pleasure in the bottom of his stomach from knowing Niall was upstairs in his bed, naked and tied up, begging to be allowed to release. Fuck, maybe it hadn’t been a bad thing he had gotten on Liam’s nerves so much today.

When Liam went back to his bedroom, 15 minutes or so must have passed, and just seeing Niall on his bed, all flushed and sweaty, making whatever noises possible behind the tie Liam had used to keep him quiet… it was unreal. He was being quiet, not even sure if Niall had even heard him enter before he took off his own shirt, unbuttoning it slowly and carefully before doing the same to his pants, all while never taking his eyes off of the younger man squirming on the bed, trying to fuck himself on the vibrator. 

Now fully undressed as well, Liam started to untie Niall’s legs, but keeping them spread apart as he sat between them, pushing the vibrator in further one last time before pulling it out, seemingly much to Niall displeasure. 

Liam himself was fully hard as well by now, just staring at Niall and watching him had done the trick.

He made sure to remove the cockring from around Niall’s erection, carefully, not wanting to accidentally make him come before taking a hold of his legs again, pushing them up against the younger man’s chest just so he’d have it easier thrusting inside of him.

It felt so fucking good to finally do that, Liam honestly had to restrain himself after just a few thrusts, already feeling his knot swelling at the base and he looked down, watching himself disappear inside the younger man, the stretch of his cock on Niall’s skin, the wet sound of his slick making the glide so damn easy and good.

Liam eventually released Niall’s legs, only so he could lean down over him, slowing down his thrusts for just a moment so he could get rid of that tie keeping Niall more quiet than he wanted him to be right now. 

“Do you wanna come?” Liam half growled while rolling his hips, barely pulling out anymore but rather fucking Niall with the with and length of his dick and knot.

“P-Please… “ The younger man was crying, Liam could tell but he also knew it was from pleasure. 

“You can’t, not before me. Hold back or there will be even more punishments.” He told Niall, which only made the younger man whine in frustration, pulling on the restraints around his wrists, but they weren’t giving in.

Liam wanted to drag it out as long as possible, and he knew Niall was really close, his erection looking painfully hard and red, and upon Liam’s fingers doing as much as ghosting over it, the younger man was keening, biting his bottom lip.

“You’re gonna make yourself bleed.” Liam told him breathlessly dragging his thumb down Niall’s chin to make him open his mouth instead so he could fill it with his tongue. 

It was so fucking good, and as much as Liam tried to hold back, at some point he stopped caring and just fucked Niall hard and fast, until the bed was bumping against the wall and he couldn’t continue to kiss him because he had no air left. Their moans were mixing right before Liam pushed his knot inside Niall one last time, locking them together as he released his load inside of him, almost collapsing on top of Niall from the force of his orgasm.

“Fuck, Niall… such a good boy… you feel so good… _aah_ … “ Liam was riding his high out in pure pleasure, half expecting Niall to have come as well, but upon his surprise, when he pushed himself up on his elbows after, the younger man was still hard as a rock between their bodies, whining quietly whenever Liam moved them. “Look at you. Doing exactly what I told you.”

Now Liam felt kinda proud honestly, and he reached up to pull down Niall’s blindfold, seeing his tear stained eyes ,giving him one last kiss before sitting back on his knees.

It was kinda hard because they were stuck together like this, and Niall’s legs were on either side of Liam, his ass half on Liam’s lap. “Are you already sorry?”

“Y-Yes… _Liam_ … I’m- I’m s-so sorry… “ Niall was full on crying now, watching Liam rubbing his hand over his bloated stomach, full of his cum. It brought out a side in Liam he hadn’t known he had had really, but claiming Niall like this, pumping him full with his jizz, it was… fucking amazing. “Please… “

“Does your stomach hurt?” Liam checked, a little fascinated by it because it had gotten so big this time, but maybe that was also the position they were in.

“N-No… tender… “ Niall brought out between heavy breathing, whining when Liam didn’t stop touching his belly, always careful not to brush his erection. 

“Imagine… “ The older man was definitely getting carried away, but he didn’t even notice. “Imagine you weren’t taking any pills, and I’d pump you full with my cum and get you knocked up, have your belly be all swollen for months… “

“Liam… “ The younger man seemed to be crying even more now, and Liam kinda snapped back into reality after a few moments, grabbing a hold of Niall’s cock and wanking him, hard and fast while Niall was moaning.

“You can come.” He had almost forgotten to tell him, feeling Niall’s gooey cum all over his hands just a few seconds later as he was working him through it, watching it splatter on his stomach and chest as he was moaning Liam’s name.

Afterwards, while they were still stuck together, Liam almost felt a little embarrassed about what he had said, about kinda having wanted it at the same time, but also not at all. It’s just, the idea had been a little bit hot in the heat of the moment, and it still was staring down at Niall, with tear tracks on his face, sweaty hair sticking to his forehead and his stomach sticking out.

“Are you okay?” Liam asked, because he kinda hadn’t asked for a while, and Niall just nodded, letting his eyes fall closed as if he needed a couple minutes to just breathe.

When Liam could feel his knot go down, he made sure to pull out of Niall quickly so he could go and untie his hands, feeling a little worried when he saw the discoloration in them. It quickly went down when Liam massaged his wrists a little, but he definitely made a mental note of never doing them this fast again. 

“D’you wanna get cleaned up in the shower?” Niall looked proper fucked, so it wasn’t a surprise when he simply shook his head. “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

Liam made sure to clean himself up a bit in the bathroom before coming back to the bedroom with a damp towel, handing it to Niall so he could do the same. He would have done it for him, but Liam wasn’t really sure if Niall would have wanted that, and also, he could imagine the younger man still felt sensitive. 

“You’re not hurt, are you?” Just to be sure yet again, because Niall was being very quiet and it was getting Liam slightly worried.

“I’m good, t’was really hot… just a bit sore… “ That made sense.

Niall was clearly tired because he didn’t even go to the bathroom anymore, simply curled himself up in Liam’s sheets, as if it was his bed instead. It kinda was at this point, honestly.

Liam put on the joggers Niall had had on before him, sitting down on the bed next to him, all of a sudden feeling different. Unsure of what to say or do, almost.

“Do you wanna order any food?” He offered, happy that that made Niall’s eyes sparkle a bit. “Okay, what do you want?”

They spent a few minutes deciding, and then Liam ordered on his phone, and then there were 30 minutes to fill until the food arrived and… had Liam really told Niall he thought it’d be hot if he got him knocked up?

“… were you really upset with me? Or was it all just a show?” Niall asked after a few moments of silence, and Liam almost felt himself letting out a laugh.

“Both, I think… I was kinda mad you kept going when Zayn was in the room… I knew you were just trying to get me riled up afterwards though.” And he had kinda played along, forming this plan in his head while they had been working. Probably not a good idea, but whatever. “… it was okay, though, right? I didn’t go too far?”

“At this point I kinda don’t think you could go too far anymore.” The younger man joked and they both laughed very briefly because he was probably right. What hadn’t they done at this point? “You just surprise me each time because it gets kinkier with every week.”

“You seem to be into it.” Was all Liam gave back and Niall grinned before covering his eyes with his arm. “We don’t have to use toys.”

“We do, I like it.” He shrugged a bit and Liam felt himself smiling, relief spreading through him yet again.

There was more silence then, so Liam moved to sit more comfortably, answering a message on his phone while Niall seemed to be close to falling asleep. He didn’t though.

“Why’d you say that? Before, I mean? About… you know. My stomach.” Oh.

“I don’t know, just kinda- in the heat of the moment, y’know.” Liam shrugged, feeling his cheeks growing warm though. 

“Okay… “ Niall agreed, hopefully willing to just leave it at that. Sadly… “Harry’s pregnant, you know. As in, Harry Styles.”

“Oh.” What else was Liam supposed to say to that, and why the hell had Niall felt a need to say that? NOW? “I mean… that’s great.”

“Yeah… glad I managed to get a place before there’s yet another kid.” He laughed quietly, and when Liam looked at him, he wasn’t quite sure if Niall really was that happy over it. “It’s a really small place, but… it’s enough for me, I guess.” 

“You know… “ Liam started, having to clear his throat because this conversation was starting to get awkward. “I know lots of people, I could probably talk to someone to give you a good deal if you want a bigger flat.”

“Thank you, but… I just only moved in and I like it. Also, I kinda… I kinda like I did it myself, you know? I mean… I AM sleeping with my boss, but… “ He moved his arm behind his head now to look at Liam, grinning up at him and the older man rolled his eyes, a rush of fondness overcoming him. 

“You’re not getting paid for it, so it makes no difference.” It definitely made a difference though that Liam was paying him so much for staying longer, and that he was giving him so many bonuses… but there really was no need to say that and have Niall question it all, right? 

The following silence was more comfortable, but Liam was still a bit happy when the food arrived and Niall managed to roll out of bed so they could eat downstairs, with some light small talk, as if they were just friends having dinner together and as if they weren’t having the most inappropriate relationship ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys!!! sorry this is a few minutes late, i dont know what happened this week, i just now finished the chapter while brushing my teeth :p
> 
> i hope youre all doing well!!! ive had a kind of rough week, my head has been hurting and my jaw and i keep thinking ive got a problem with my teeth but i cant go to a dentist now, its not been fun. so i hope yours went better!
> 
> i hope you liked the chapter, thank you for so much support on this story, i would love to hear your thoughts as always!!! love you all <3


	7. Chapter 7

It was a little weird for the rest of the night, especially because Niall never slept in the guest room, so he figured it would have only made things more awkward if he had done so that night. So they ate, and it was all good, and then Liam did some work on his laptop, apparently not planning on driving Niall home, so the younger man also did stuff on his laptop, or at least pretended to.

The thing was, he had no idea if Liam even still wanted to have him here because they never got home this early, they usually had sex and then went to sleep fairly quickly, but tonight was just… very different. Also because of what they had done, and also because of what Liam had said, it wasn’t exactly easy for Niall to forget about it because his stomach was STILL feeling a bit swollen by the time he claimed to be tired and went upstairs.

Niall showered in Liam’s shower because why the hell not, he also had a toothbrush there already, which was maybe, probably, a bit weird, but whatever. So then he lied awake, on the side of the bed he considered mostly his by now, trying not think about what they had done. Sure, it had been really fucking hot and Niall definitely needed to make Liam angry a whole lot more often, but now he couldn’t stop thinking about what the older man had said.

And what would have happened, had Niall ACTUALLY forgotten his pill one day? He had forgotten it in the past except it had never been a big deal because he hadn’t had sex with anyone during that time, and he had also usually made people use condoms, and he had also mostly slept with betas, so it was like… it hadn’t been a big deal.

But now it would have been, and Niall had no idea why Liam would have said that anyways. Maybe he had just liked the idea in that moment, because it was kinda kinky and- well, Niall being pregnant wouldn’t have been kinky, it would have been a bloody tragedy.

By the time Liam came upstairs, Niall had been trying to fall asleep for over two hours, and he was pretending to be asleep as well while Liam was in the bathroom, a lot more quiet than usually. When he did lie down in bed next to Niall, the mattress big enough so they never brushed, the younger man decided there was no way he’d fall asleep anytime soon anyways.

“Don’t you think this is weird?” Niall blurted out, because he had long stopped caring if he said questionable things to Liam. This man had tied him to his own bed and fucked him more times than Niall could have counted, what was the point?

“I- I thought you were asleep.” Liam gave back, and Niall could tell he was dodging the question, moving the blanket a bit while they were lying in complete darkness. This was more than just weird, and they both knew it. “It’s only weird if we make it weird. Why aren’t you asleep?”

“I couldn’t. And I think we did make it weird already.” The fact alone that they were both lying here right now, after everything, casually sharing a bed. 

“… and?” Liam was asking as if he wasn’t even part of this relationship or whatever it was, as if he thought it was completely normal. “Why does it matter?”

“I don’t know… it matters to me, because it gets me in weird situations- I don’t even know if I should have left after you- after we… you know. I mean, not that I care that much because you’ve probably seen more parts of my body than I have seen myself, so it’s like whatever, but still. We never- we never talked about what we want.” Also, Niall didn’t know what he wanted anyways, but he was kinda hoping Liam did so he could just copy that idea and present it as his own.

“Okay. What do you want?” Great.

“I kinda asked first and-“

“You didn’t.” Okay, fair enough. 

There was silence, a really weird and heavy silence that almost made Niall wanna turn to his side and just go the fuck to sleep. Not that he would have been able to.

“… so you didn’t want me to leave then?” Was all he could come up with in the end. “Or sleep in the guest room?”

“No. Unless you wanna do either of those things.” Could he stop leaving everything up to Niall?! Then again, just because he hadn’t wanted him to sleep in the guestroom also didn’t automatically mean he wanted him in his bed. “Why are you suddenly questioning everything? We don’t have to do anything at all, Niall, I can drive you home right now and-“

“No, that’s not why I asked, I just- I thought it was a bit weird. The entire time I thought we’re, you know, fuck buddies or whatever you wanna call it. That we both like how it’s a secret and we’re having fun and- that’s great, and I like that. But just now I wasn’t sure anymore whether I should have asked you to drive me home, or slept in the guest room, because we usually have sex and then go to sleep, but tonight-“

“Can you believe me when I tell you I really don’t mind having you here?” Wait… was that supposed to sound nice? “Whatever you feel like, you know.”

“You don’t _mind?_ ” Was he being serious?

“Yeah, that’s what I just s-“

“Okay, then drive me home.” Niall suddenly snapped, sitting up with one swift movement, flicking on the lights as well, no idea why he was actually so hurt in his pride right now. If there was still anything left of that after tonight.

“What _now?_ We’re already in bed and- turn off the lights.” Liam half demanded, half groaned, covering his eyes with his arm, but Niall didn’t do what he wanted. Yeah, he was kinda pissed off now, to be honest. “I’m not driving you home now.”

“So you wanna force me to stay here?” The younger man didn’t even know why it had gotten him so upset, like what had he wanted Liam to say? No idea, it’s just… a few hours ago Liam had told him it’d be hot if he got him knocked up and now he couldn’t even say he liked having Niall here?

“Oh my god… “ Liam was just groaning, and yeah, Niall could have tried to prove his point and gotten up and taken off Liam’s joggers he was borrowing, but where would he have gone? “Seriously? I’m not forcing you to do anything at all, you’re free to go wherever you want. I’ll call you a taxi.”

“I don’t want a taxi.” It would’ve just made Niall feel like some cheap fuck Liam was about to replace anyways.

“An Uber?” Seriously?

“No.” And then, after thinking it through, Niall simply turned off the lights again and laid back down before it’d get even more embarrassing than it already was. Screw it, he should have never even started this conversation and pretended to be asleep instead. 

There was silence because Niall was kinda upset and kinda regretted ever having spoken up, and maybe Liam was about to fall asleep, who knew? Who cared? Surely not Niall.

“… sometimes I wonder how you were so shy in the beginning and how we’ve gotten to this point.” Liam half mumbled after a while, but he also sounded really amused at the same time and Niall didn’t know anymore how to feel about any of this.

“I realized you can’t fire me for no reason after sleeping with me so many times and tying me to your bed.” If Liam was being hurtful, then so could Niall.

Apparently, the other man didn’t seem to notice that Niall was implying just sleeping with him so he wouldn’t get fired. Sadly. 

“Oh, believe me, I could.” Liam let out a laugh and Niall rolled his eyes to himself. “But, I won’t, no worries. I never said I didn’t like that you forgot about being shy.”

“I was just afraid to do something wrong and lose the job.” It was true, Liam hadn’t really intimidated Niall anymore after a while, especially not after they had first kissed, but he had still been absolutely terrified of being fired for whatever reason. 

“So you’re just sleeping with me to keep the job, huh? I knew it.” Clearly Liam had taken it as a joke, and it had been one anyways, but Niall kinda wished the older man would have cared enough to be upset. Just like Niall was upset about Liam seemingly only _tolerating_ him being here. “You’re begging me a bit often to fuck you just for that.”

“Whatever. I need to sleep.” Niall turned around, so that his back was facing Liam even though they were lying in darkness anyways, and the bed was probably twice the size of Niall’s at his new flat. Where he had only slept one single time so far, and kinda badly on top of that. 

“So now you don’t wanna talk this out anymore?” Nope.

“I already heard everything I wanted to know.” He sounded a bit pissed off, which had been his intension. So, good. “You said you don’t mind I’m here, so you gotta deal with it now.”

“Is that why’re you suddenly acting all upset? Because I said I didn’t _mind_ to have you here?” Liam sounded as if he was about to break out into laughter. “If it wasn’t kinda cute I’d say it’s a bit ridiculous.”

“So now you can decide how I feel? That’s just grea-“

“Niall.” The older man had cut him off and moved so suddenly that Niall was a bit surprised feeling him inching closer on the bed. “It’s not what I mean. Okay? If I had wanted you to leave, I would’ve just said I’m gonna drive you home. I would have never even suggested we order food. Hell, I would have not just left the office so much earlier than usually when you said you were going home. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“… maybe.” That was actually a bit more than Niall had wanted to hear. 

“If you think what we’re doing is weird, then maybe it is, I don’t know. But I’m quite enjoying myself and I was under the impression you were, too.” God damn it.

“I am.” More than expected, and somehow it was getting better the longer it went on, also something Niall wouldn’t have thought. 

“Okay, good. Then you don’t have to question everything or keep thinking I want you to leave. I don’t. This is not exactly something I’ve ever done before, in case you were wondering, and it was also never the plan. It just so happened but I don’t regret anything and we work well together, maybe better than we would have otherwise, I don’t know. I don’t want you to worry or be confused, and we can talk about it, if you want.” He was saying it very calmly, and also in a rather sweet voice that almost made Niall feel quite bad for ever having doubted him.

Then again, he wondered how much he would have actually gotten out of Liam had he really insisted that they talk about it all. And how much would he have been able to say himself? He had no idea anymore what was going on either, he was just kinda enjoying the ride. Sometimes literally.

“There’s nothing to talk about, I just wasn’t sure if, you know, if it’s just the sex and then you need me to leave or go to sleep, or if we can also kinda, like, be friends or whatever.” The weirdest friends ever. “I guess I was just wondering if you kinda disliked me whenever we’re not… fucking.”

“You really thought I’m that much of an arsehole?” NOW he sounded hurt, and Niall felt truly bad, but it hadn’t been his fault he had kinda questioned it, right? 

“I didn’t feel like you disliked me, I just… I thought about it. That’s all.” And he had definitely thought Liam was an asshole, in the very beginning, but that had long passed. “But now I know that’s not the case, so we can really go to sleep.”

“Are you sure?” Liam kinda sounded amused again, and Niall would have maybe thought of adding something else, but then the older man had already kissed his cheek before completely moving back to his side, leaving Niall a bit blushed. Not that he would ever be able to tell. “Good talk.”

“Shut up.” Niall mumbled into his pillow after Liam’s sarcastic comment, making the older man laugh quietly. “Night.”

“Goodnight, Niall.” He was still chuckling when Niall pressed his eyes closed, trying to actually go to sleep before he’d embarrass himself even further.

Like, no idea what had gotten into him, everything had gone really great and he had enjoyed everything they had done and then Liam had had to go and talk about knocking Niall up and making it weird. But as he had said, it was only weird if they let it be weird, so Niall would just have to pretend that all of this was completely normal.

Right?

\------------------------------------------

“We’ve not done this in ages. I can’t even remember the last time.” Zayn couldn’t stop saying this for some reason, and Liam would have rolled his eyes at him had he not known it would have been incredibly rude. “Can you?”

“Not really.” Liam admitted, clearing his throat so he wouldn’t say something else. He had had no choice but to agree and go out to eat something with Zayn because he had kinda been forced to promise a few days ago when Niall had been sucking him off underneath his desk and- anyways. Here they were, Saturday evening. “I’m sorry, I just get caught up in work and I find it hard to get out of that cycle. You know me.”

“I do. That’s why I’ve been telling you for ages you need to maybe take a step back. So you don’t burn yourself out.” Here they went again, they had lasted twenty minutes before they were already back at it. Was that the only reason Zayn had wanted to do this? Probably.

“Are we really here to just talk about work again?” Liam tried to make it sound lightly, he even laughed a bit to make it less serious, taking a bite of his food. 

Was it really bad that the entire time he kept thinking about how, if he maybe left soon enough, he could still call up Niall? Then again, he probably had better things to do on Saturday nights, right?

“We totally don’t have to, we can talk about anything.” See, and this was where Zayn shut his mouth and stared at Liam, and they both started to realize there was nothing else to talk about. Nothing at all. Because work was kinda Liam’s entire life, and everything else going on right now with Niall, Zayn couldn’t know about any of that.

“So… how are your parents?” Liam had to start somewhere, anywhere at all, and luckily, Zayn only blinked before starting to talk, seemingly without questioning it. 

They had known each other for so long, Liam was sure there was nothing he didn’t know about Zayn. It’d be a lie to say he hadn’t noticed himself becoming more and more distant and closed off ever since he had started to build his firm. Of course he had given Zayn a job after he had struggled to find one after graduating, he was Liam’s best friend, it had been completely out of question not to offer.

But years of all this work and the constant pressure, after Liam had already achieved whatever he had dreamed of having, it had kinda all lost its meaning. And to be honest, time had passed so quickly, Liam hadn’t taken any notice of it, and now they were almost 30 with no more goals. Well, maybe Zayn had them, but Liam kinda… he had kinda already achieved them?

As arrogant as that sounded.

Of course there was one thing Liam had always wanted, deep down, something he would have never admitted, not even to himself for a long time. When he had gone to uni and while building his firm and knowledge, he had always kinda thought one day his father would call him, apologize for everything that had happened, and they’d make up and make this work.

But clearly, that wasn’t going to ever happen and it was pointless to think about it.

“… when’s the last time you’ve been on vacation?” Zayn ended his story about the trip he had gifted to his parents for some holiday with a question, and Liam had to actually blink a few times to let it sink in.

“Well, I went to Switzerland for that meeting with-“

“No, I mean. Not work related.” Oh.

“I don’t know, been a while, I guess. Didn’t really feel the need.” Liam shrugged, taking a sip of water and wondering why Zayn had actually felt a need to ask. He knew the answer already.

“Maybe it’d be good for you. Just for a week or so. If anything major happens I could deal with it. Or Niall.” He said the last sentence in a way that made Liam wonder whether they were really talking about vacations or not.

“There’s actually no place I wanna visit.” It was the truth, as sad as it sounded. Liam liked his job and he liked working, it was his hobby, why change that? “But if you want to take a week off and didn’t know how to ask… it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“I don’t, that’s not why I brought it up.” The other man shrugged, confusing Liam a bit when he just stared down at the table, clearly wanting to say something but then not doing it, sighing quietly instead.

“What?” Liam asked, getting a bit annoyed. So this was definitely not about him taking a vacation.

“Nothing, it’s just… “ Zayn started before leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms in front of his chest but keeping his eyes on the table between them. “You work so much, I thought you could need some time off.”

“For what?” Couldn’t he just say it?

“I don’t know, to think about some stuff? Regarding the firm and… everything.” He shrugged, seemingly afraid Liam was going to get upset, which was kinda ridiculous because Liam had already known this would be all they’d be talking about.

“You can just say what you wanna say, you know. We’re already here.” Seriously, and Liam couldn’t just get up and leave, he was stuck here anyways and he had come here knowing damn well this was how it would end.

“I don’t wanna sound as if I’m trying to tell you how to run the place. I’m just- something happened.” Oh great.

“What happened? Somebody told you they wanna quit? Somebody got another offer from my father? Somebody was talking shit?” Liam wasn’t really interested in any of these things, they wouldn’t have mattered to him either way. All of it had happened before.

“Actually, the thing is… “ Zayn took a breath then, and it was getting kinda annoying. “Somebody did get an offer.”

“Okay?” Liam could just replace them. Who cared? “I’ll talk to the new interns, and give them a long-term contract, and then-“

“It’s me. I did. I got an offer.” The other man simply interrupted, blurting out with it and looking just as shocked as Liam in the end.

Wait, what?

“From who?” Not because Liam thought Zayn wasn’t competent or anything, but the fact that this had happened only led to more questions. “Did you apply? Do you wanna quit? … wait, is this because of Niall?”

“No, it has nothing at all to do with Niall, or with you, it’s just… I didn’t apply. I mean, I kind of did, but not really, I didn’t think anything would happen and-“

“What the hell, Zayn?! Why didn’t you just tell me?” Okay, NOW Liam was getting mad, because what the FUCK?! “So all this time you were just trying to get me to pay you even more right before you wanna _quit?_ Then why did you even bother getting upset because of Niall? Because you thought these other people would just turn you down anyways and you needed a plan B?!”

“No, that’s not at all what happened. Okay? Just let me explain before you explode.” Too fucking late for that.

“Oh, I can’t wait to have you try and explain this.” Liam let out a humorless laugh, and he saw how nervous his friend was to tell him, so it must have been bad. Really bad.

“This happened after you hired Niall, okay? It was a few weeks ago, I- I met with one of our clients, about some issues with his book and… well, anyways, he talked a lot and somehow it got personal and he asked me what I studied and why I work in your firm if that’s not even what I went to uni for and- and then he kept talking and he told me about someone he knew who works somewhere and they know of someone-“

“Okay, a friend of a friend of a friend, blahblahblah. Just get to it, Zayn. Seriously.” So Liam could finally pay and leave, because that’s how he dealt with his problems nowadays.

“Well, fine. The position they want filled is exactly what I wanted to do after uni. And just to let you know, I did NOT apply. I did send my CV to that guy, but just because he somehow talked me into it and-“

“Sending your CV to someone because they talked you into it?! Oh, I’m sure you totally did not wanna apply, sounds like he forced you. And now, poor you, you got another offer, that probably pays sooo much more and-“

“It’s not always about the money, you know? Not for everyone.” And with that, Zayn kinda ended the conversation, and he seemed to realize his mistake on an instant, but he did not take it back. Instead, his face seemed to have gotten harder. “I’m not taking the offer, okay? I’m not quitting.”

“No need, you’re fired.” Liam simply told him without thinking about it.

“Oh my god, Liam. Can you get ANY more childish right now? I’m your best fucking friend, and you’re not even happy for me?! For getting an offer for a job I always wanted to have? And I tell you I’m not taking it, for _you_ , and you still gotta react like that?” God, Liam wanted to storm out so badly right now.

“You don’t gotta do anything at all for me. In fact, you’re not that valuable for the firm, I could replace you just like t-“

“Yeah, right, give my position to Niall, ‘m sure he will do a brilliant job after zero experience.” Yeah, what Liam had said had been really low, and also not the truth, but he just couldn’t hold it anymore.

“Why are you so fucking jealous of Niall? All you do is talk about him and how I treat him, why does it matter so bloody much?!” Seriously?

“You wouldn’t even have Niall if it weren’t for me! You wouldn’t have any of these interns, probably 50% less clients because you never meet up with them again after they signed that contract. You’re virtually non-existent to this firm, Liam. I’ve been trying to tell you so many times and I’m tired of it, you won’t change anything and I’d like to see you try and hold the place together after I leave because none of the other employees will stick up for you like I’ve been doing for _years_. And also, Niall is the last person I’m jealous of, I’d rather take any job than to be your little lap dog. Do you seriously think I don’t know how late you make him work? What ridiculous things you make him do for a bonus? That you took him to the freaking casino to get this guy to sign-“

“Who told you that?” If Niall had said anything to Zayn…

“He told me himself, Liam, because I meet with your clients, unlike you. Obviously he has no idea you insinuated this whole evening, but I know you well enough to have figured it out myself. Also kinda suspicious he was recommending Niall’s songs on his blog and wrote an entry about the entire thing and signs from the universe. But no worries, Niall didn’t say a word to me, in fact, ever since you made him your own, he’s not said anything except morning to me.” Well, at least something.

“Okay, whatever, why wouldn’t I have wanted this guy to sign with us? And if you never planned on taking this job then why even bring it up?! What the hell do you want, Zayn?” Liam had to remind himself to keep his voice down, because there were other people around them, but it was really bloody hard right now. 

“Honestly? I just didn’t wanna keep it from you. And I thought about quitting and taking this job, but I didn’t want to just pack up and leave, because sadly, I know a lot more than you about how _your_ employees and clients feel about your firm. And you. A lot of them are thinking of quitting, a lot of them have other offers, some from your father, but also other places, because they applied to them. And yeah, I was kinda being selfish when I sent that guy my CV and didn’t even tell you about it, but I saw no reason to. You never tell me anything either. It’s like you don’t even care, you’re just in your office hoping things will work themselves out, and yeah, I got upset. Not because I’m jealous of Niall but because this one time you do what I suggest you do, and the moment you saw what I saw in him, you took him for yourself. And nothing changed, you just stopped paying attention to everything, doing god knows what in your office all day, every day.” To be fair… he was kinda right. 

And that only got Liam more upset.

“So you want Niall back? Is this what this is ab-“

“No? Do you really not hear what I’m saying?!” Apparently not, and now Zayn seemed to get frustrated with him and Liam still felt angry but also confused. “You’re my best friend, I want you to succeed. But for years now you’ve started to withdraw from everyone in the firm as soon as you got to the point where you wanted to be. I know you work hard, I know you know how to be a CEO and to get things done, and I don’t claim to be an expert, but I know a lot of your employees on a personal level and I just wish you’d take a suggestion once a while. I told you about the offer I got because I wanted you to take it serious, that even _I_ have thought about going somewhere else. But you literally just told me to my face you don’t think you even need me in the firm, so I might as well-“

“I said that because I was upset, okay? I’m sorry, you are valuable to the firm and I know you’ve done a lot for it, for me. And you’re not fired, of course.” It was hard to apologize right now, but Liam kinda had to. “I’m willing to listen, if you really think it’s all going downhill and you know a way to make it better then… I’d gladly take your advice.”

“You need to start getting involved, Li, there’s no way around it. You gotta actually take time and… get to know your own firm. And I know you’re busy with work and writing your-“

“Don’t say that so loud.” Liam interrupted, having felt panic arise in him immediately, as if they weren’t in the quietest corner of the restaurant.

“Liam, seriously, why are you so paranoid? Anyways” Zayn rolled his eyes, but he also looked a bit hopeless. Probably because Liam was being so stubborn. “You gotta change, and talk to people, maybe fire a few of them who have been doing whatever the hell they wanted for months-“

“Wait, who-“

“That’s not important right now. Look, you’ve got Niall now, he works with you, every day, all day, probably also night, I’ve got no idea, but I’m sure he can cover a few of the things you need to get done. And you can use the time and maybe schedule regular meetings with the departments, allow people to come and talk to you if there are problems and… and actually be _approachable_.” Easier said than done. “And you need to start next week or else you will just keep saying okay and then never do anything about it.”

“And you really think the firm will go downhill if I don’t?” Sounded a bit drastic.

“It won’t go downhill, we both know that. But you’re definitely going to go back to that staff shortage and it honestly sucked. I worked so many more hours than I had to and there will come a point where the entire firm will just consist of people who have maybe been there for a few months and then-“

“Okay, okay. I got it. I know you’re upset, and I’m sorry, because I didn’t realize why, I thought it was all about Niall. And I also… “ Now Liam had to break off and clear his throat, because he wanted to sound as if he truly meant the next part. “I am happy for you. That this other place offered you the position and I- if this is what you want, you should go for it. I will definitely need time adjusting to you being gone and maybe everything will get out of hand, but I’d never want you to turn down the offer because of me.”

“I’m not, the pay actually really sucks.” Wait-

“You literally just said it’s not about the money.” Liam threw in, confused when he suddenly saw his friend shrugging, almost… smiling?

“I just wanted you to take it serious, alright? I did actually get the offer, and I did think about taking it, but I don’t actually wanna leave. I just wanted you to finally realize you gotta do something, because lately I’ve started to feel like a complete idiot whenever I talk to the other employees and they tell me all this shit that’s bothering them and I keep thinking they are right about everything. That’s why I kinda… why I kinda snapped when that thing with Niall happened. There were quite a few days where you were getting on my last nerve, sorry to put it that way.” Liam probably deserved it.

“I’m sorry.” There was nothing left to say really, Liam could have offered him another bonus, but they both knew that wasn’t really what Zayn wanted him to do. It seemed Liam couldn’t buy his silence on the matter any longer. Sadly. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done and I appreciate you still caring about the place, and about me. I know I’ve been really absent and unavailable… especially lately.”

“I can forgive you if you just really try to change things. You still haven’t talked to the interns.” Yeah, about that… Liam wished he would have forgotten, but he had actively been trying to avoid it all.

“I will. On Monday.” Now he really had to that he had said it out loud, and Liam was kinda hoping that Zayn had had a bad day and wasn’t actually as pissed off as it seemed, but he suddenly stretched out his hand across the table, waiting for Liam to take it.

The other man hesitated before shaking it, regretting it a little bit while Zayn started grinning, having gotten what he had wanted. Well, it was still up to Liam to actually keep his promise.

“I’m always willing to help, you know. You just need to ask.” He offered after they had let go of each other’s hands, and Liam nodded, not really feeling like taking him up on that right now.

“Thank you… I might come back to that.” If Liam’s pride allowed it after this conversation. “… what was this all about me taking a vacation?”

“I don’t know, I thought it’d be easier to talk to you about it all after you’ve had some… time to think, maybe. And stepped away from it all. I guess… I mean, I get that you really enjoy working, but do you seriously never get tired of it?” Zayn sounded very serious when he asked, and Liam truly did think about it for a moment.

“No really. I do take breaks, it’s not like that.” Especially lately, with Niall, but for very obvious reasons Liam wasn’t going to mention that. If Zayn had only known about them… he would have absolutely lost his mind on Liam. “Maybe one day I’ll be fed up with it all, and then I’ll let you take over for me.”

“No, thanks.” Zayn laughed, but he went back to serious pretty quickly. “You could put somebody else in charge though, and just focus on your-“

“I won’t.” Liam interrupted, not wanting this conversation to go much further. When it came to _this_ , he didn’t want anyone to try and tell him what to do. “… what are you actually eating? It looks really weird.”

From then on, the evening felt a lot less tense and uncomfortable, and they were actually able to talk like normal fucking friends, and maybe Liam had kinda missed this a little bit. 

Just maybe.

\----------------------------

“Did you both like the film?” Niall asked the girls as they were walking out of the cinema and through the mall that was still filled with people because it wasn’t that late, and it was a weekend as well.

“Yes! It was sooo funny, I wanna watch it again!” Josie was super high on all the sugar Niall had bought them, and he felt kinda bad about it, but then again, not really. Louis and Harry would have to deal with them in a little bit anyways, and at least they had been able to have date night thanks to Niall’s very empty weekend schedule. “But Clara fell asleep at the end. Didn’t you?”

“No, I didn’t.” Clara lied, but she was also rubbing her eyes with one fist, holding onto Niall’s hand with her free one. “I’m not tired. Not even a little bit.”

“Well, it’s soon gonna be bedtime though. I think your dad is already waiting outside.” Niall actually lived so close to the mall now that he could just walk home, so he was only going to drop the girls off wherever Louis was waiting for them. “Josie, can you stay with me, please? There are a lot of people.”

It was a bit hard to keep an eye on here, so Niall made her hold his other hand after a while, trying to talk himself out of why he couldn’t come home with them for a sleepover while they were walking towards the exit. They were almost there when Josie pulled on Niall’s hand, pointing at something that Niall had trouble understanding at first.

“Look, it’s Zayn.” She half yelled, and Niall was confused, because one, why would she know Zayn, and two, why would he be- “Hi!”

Oh.

It made click in Niall’s head immediately. Of course the girls knew Zayn, he always met with Harry to talk about his books, he had most likely taken them along at some point, Josie at least. And that really was no problem at all, it’s just the fact that he wasn’t alone definitely WAS a problem. 

“He always reads our daddy’s books.” Josie explained, as if Niall didn’t know.

“I know, I- I know him.” He told her, wanting to tell her to stop waving like crazy, but it was already too late anyways. Shit.

“Oh, hi, guys.” Zayn had come over immediately, with _Liam_ in tow, and it would have been a big fat lie to say Niall didn’t feel his heart skipping about ten beats upon seeing him. Or both of them together, more like. 

“Hi… what are you doing here?” Niall wasn’t really addressing either of them, but he could feel his cheeks heating up, and he didn’t even know why. He hadn’t seen Liam since yesterday after work, when they had been fooling around in his office, so really not that long ago. And yet it felt like it somehow, because they didn’t usually text or anything. 

No need, they saw each other almost 5 whole days and nights a week.

“Nothing, we’re just leaving, actually. Did you go to the cinema?” No idea how Zayn had figured this out, Niall didn’t even care and Liam still hadn’t said a word, he was just grinning at Niall while the younger man gripped the girls’ hands a bit tighter.

“Yes! We saw a really, really funny film. And uncle Niall bought us so many sweets but he said we shouldn’t tell our daddies.” Josie immediately explained, and then she made Niall’s worst nightmare come true by looking at Liam all of a sudden, not shy at all. “And who are you?”

“Oh, sorry. I’m Liam. I’m a friend of Zayn.” He explained, and then his eyes flickered to Niall and his smile got wider. “And of your uncle Niall. What’s your name?”

“I’m Josie, and this is Clara.” The little girl explained, which made her sister pout.

“I can say my name… “ She mumbled quietly, only for Niall to hear, and he squeezed her hand a bit in sympathy. 

“Did you also read our daddies books? He’s really famous.” Josie kept going on and Niall had to bite his lip so he wouldn’t laugh. Slightly exaggerated.

“I think, I have, actually, yeah. I really enjoyed them.” Liam told her, thank god, making her super excited while Clara seemed to be dangerously close to falling asleep standing up. 

“I’m gonna tell him you said that, he will be really happy. He is always writing another book but he said I can only read them when I’m a lot older.” She explained, and this was the first time Niall would have actually liked to know what Harry was actually writing about. 

“Niall, I wanna go see daddy, I’m tired.” Clara started to complain while Josie told Liam and Zayn about whatever, and Niall let go of her hand to pick up her little sister instead. She was almost too big for it, but really light, so he had no trouble really.

“I think we should probably go, I gotta drop them off. C’mon, love, let’s go.” Niall interrupted the conversation, motioning for Josie to come with him even though she looked rather sad about it. “I, uh, I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Yeah, bye, guys. Sleep well.” Zayn said his goodbyes, and then Liam did too, and Niall pretended he hadn’t seen him winking at him before he walked off quickly because Josie couldn’t stop waving at them.

See, this had been a completely normal encounter, nothing at all wrong with it, and yet it had completely thrown Niall off somehow. He had never seen Liam so randomly, dressed all casual in the freaking mall of all places. Had he told Zayn about them? Since when did they hang out in their free time? Like, yeah, Niall knew they were friends, but… he had always been under the impression Liam spent all of his free time working.

Louis was already there, so Niall just gave him a quick update, putting a half asleep Clara in her seat and then saying goodbye after 5 minutes of small talk. His friend offered to drive him home twice, but honestly, Niall didn’t mind the short walk at all, especially because he had just been home all day sitting around, and then he had been sitting in the cinema as well, so it felt kinda nice to move a bit.

Except, he didn’t get very far at all.

“Uncle Niall, huh?” Jesus Christ.

“Fuck, you scared the crap out of me.” Niall had to actually stop walking and clutch his chest as he whipped his head around, staring straight at Liam’s amused face. Thank god Louis had already driven off.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Well, his expression said something completely different. “It’s really cute how they call you uncle.”

“I’ve been in their lives since they were born, so… I’ve known Harry and Lou since bloody ages.” Niall shrugged, burying his hands in his jeans pockets as he tried not to stare at Liam so much. They were literally right outside the mall and how had Liam even found him? Hadn’t he just been with Zayn? “Where is Zayn?”

“He drove home. We just had something to eat.” Liam shrugged, as if it was normal, as if he did stuff like that all the time. “What are you doing?”

“Um, nothing?” What did it look like? Also, Niall was aware that he was behaving a bit strangely, but that was because he hadn’t at all been prepared to see Liam right now. Not that he minded it, at all. 

“I’ll drive you home.” The older man offered immediately, already searching for his keys.

“I kinda wanna walk.” Niall told him honestly, not trying to sound mean or whatever, it’s just… he really wanted to walk. And apparently, Liam didn’t at all care.

“Okay, then I’ll walk you home.” He told Niall easily, completely unbothered, and now Niall couldn’t help feeling a _little_ flattered.

“You don’t even know where I live, what if I live ages away and you gotta walk all the way back to your car?” It was maybe a ten minute walk, if they walked really slowly.

“I could just call myself a taxi to get back here.” Right.

“You’re rich, I forgot.” Niall joked, and Liam rolled his eyes at him. “Maybe I’m not going home. Maybe… you know, maybe I’m going to meet up with one of my many lovers. It’s still early.”

“Mhm, of course. Well, maybe you can introduce me to one of them, I’m always up for a threesome.” Okay, there was no making Liam upset tonight, not even as a joke. And actually, maybe Niall didn’t even want to, he still had faint, slightly painful, memories around his wrists from last time.

“Always?” The younger man raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms in front of his chest while Liam just laughed at him. 

“I’m joking. Although I did have threesomes in the past.” Had he really felt a need to say that?! “Quite a few, actually.”

“I don’t think I needed to know that.” Niall huffed, slowly letting his arms drop though. He didn’t even care about Liam’s sex life.

“Jealous?” Liam asked, but he was grinning, and the younger man simply rolled his eyes, starting to walk away from him, very slowly though, and Liam immediately walked with him. 

“No, I just don’t like bragging.” He shrugged, a smile tugging on his lips that he tried to keep it hidden though. The fact that it was slowly getting dark was helping quite a bit with that. “It’s only a ten minute walk, if you- if you really wanna walk me.”

“If you’ll let me.” Liam said it as if it was a privilege or something, and so the younger man simply shrugged to hide the fact that he would have been really upset had Liam just left him alone now.

They were silent for a moment, and Niall thought about a whole ton of things, but he only decided to speak up when they were approaching the pedestrian cross and had to wait until the lights turned green. “Did you, um, did you tell Zayn? … about us?”

“No? Why would I do that?” Oh, thank god.

“I don’t know. I didn’t take you for the kinda person to go to one of the restaurants at the mall with a friend. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in normal clothes either.” And he looked really good in them, but that was really beside the point.

Of course Liam was bloody hot in fancier clothes, and also naked or in just joggers, but now, seeing him wearing just jeans and a normal hoodie, his hair not made, he looked a lot softer and Niall really liked seeing that side of him too.

“And you thought since you didn’t think I would do that, I might as well have told him about what we’re doing?” Niall just nodded to that, not knowing what else to say. “Well, I didn’t. And I wouldn’t just tell anybody about it either, not before talking to you. But I don’t think anybody else has to know anyways, it, uh, it would most likely just cause problems.”

“I wouldn’t wanna tell anyone, I was just- I was just wondering if maybe you met up with him to tell him or something.” Yep, Niall was definitely paranoid. Or maybe it wasn’t even that, maybe he wouldn’t have actually cared if anyone had found out about them, maybe he had just not been able to stand the idea what Liam was meeting up with Zayn, talking about them behind Niall’s back.

Not that it was very realistic for him to ever do that. 

“Just because- because I didn’t know you meet up with him for fun. Or dinner. I don’t know. Anyways, I was just wondering.” And now Niall was starting to sound like an idiot, and that damn light was still red and cars were rushing by. Would Liam have called him up? If they hadn’t randomly run into each other? Usually Niall had always assumed Liam was busy with work whenever he didn’t call him up, and it’s not like Niall was addicted to sex or anything, but maybe he was a little bit addicted to Liam. And he KNEW Liam had nothing going on with Zayn, and yet Niall felt a bit bothered by it all.

“Niall.” Was all Liam said after a moment of hesitation, probably just to get Niall’s attention, and the younger man waited another second before he finally turned his head.

“Wha-“

He didn’t get further than that, because the moment their eyes met, Liam had already leaned forward and kissed him, one hand cupping Niall’s cheek, the other coming to a rest on his hip as he stepped closed, almost crowding the younger man against the street light.

It was a really deep kiss for being so completely out of nowhere, and in public as well, right next to the street, but as soon as Liam pushed his tongue past Niall’s lips, the younger man very quickly forgot about where they were. They didn’t actually kiss that often, sure, they kissed during sex and to warm up, but never just because.

Which honestly wasn’t abnormal seeing as they weren’t dating, but Niall couldn’t help but enjoy it a bit more than he maybe should have, immediately clinging to the older man, kissing him back just as desperately. Maybe slightly more.

And he was more than disappointed when Liam simply pulled away again, completely out of nowhere. 

“Oh, hurry, it’s green.” Was all he said, not even leaving Niall a second to breathe before he was half jogging across the street, leaving Niall behind looking like a fucking idiot.

He barely made it in time, and some car was honking at him while Liam was laughing his head off watching him from the other side. “It’s not funny! Why did you do that?”

“Sorry, I didn’t wanna miss it and keep standing there.” Okay, well, that was not at all comforting. “You just looked pretty panicked running across the street.”

“I almost got killed.” Niall was a little out of breath too, mostly from it having come out of nowhere. 

“Do you want another kiss to make up for that near death experience?” Liam was still making fun of him, otherwise Niall would have surely said yes. 

“No, thanks.” He told the older man, simply carrying on walking, kinda regretting his answer a little bit though. 

Liam caught up with him easily, and at first Niall thought he would have to continue being upset with him, but then the older man did the unthinkable, throwing his arm around Niall’s shoulders, almost as if him spending a normal night in normal clothes had made him into a different person. A much more carefree one. 

At first, Niall wanted to say something, but then he decided he didn’t mind and maybe enjoyed it, so he never said a word about it, and he also gave normal answers when Liam suddenly started to ask him what he had watched at the cinema before. Honestly, it was strangely casual and normal for the rest of the way, and Liam only let his arm sink whenever they were standing in front of the building Niall lived in.

“You do live close to the mall.” Liam noted, as if he had thought Niall had been lying.

“I told you it’s just a ten minute walk.” Niall shrugged, searching for his keys, kinda not wanting to say goodbye now, but… he didn’t really have a choice, did he? “… thanks for walking me.”

“Yeah, no worries, I didn’t want you having to walk home alone.” He shrugged, making no movements though that would signal him leaving, so Niall simply unlocked the door.

“Okay, well, see you M-“

“Wait.” Liam interrupted, seemingly surprised by Niall wanting to go inside. “You’re really not gonna ask me to come see your place?”

“No? There’s nothing to see, I’ve only got one room. Well, two, if you count the bathroom.” Honestly, Niall was slightly embarrassed about it now, thinking about where Liam lived and all and- well, then again, maybe he didn’t care. It was enough for him. But then also… “…. I mean, if you really wanna see it… “

“I kinda do.” The older man told him immediately, with a look on his face that told Niall that he really did not care a single bit about his flat. Oh.

“Okay.” Niall shrugged as if he didn’t care, except he really did. No idea what Liam was expecting, but he doubted they’d be able to do anything at all at his place considering how small his bed was, but if the older man insisted… 

Niall’s heart was hammering in his chest as they walked up the stairs, Liam closely behind him as they went to the top floor. Of course now was the time for Niall to have trouble getting the key into the lock, and then he started to question his decision of taking Liam up here with him. It was still kinda new to Niall to live here, and now he had his boss over, who was also his fuck buddy.

“As I said… it’s not much to see.” Niall made sure to downplay it immediately the moment they had entered, closing the door behind Liam, not being able but to notice how weird it was to see him in here. With normal clothes on, the contrast wasn’t too harsh at least. 

“I think it looks nice. It seems a lot bigger than you described it.” Was he lying? He had to be.

“Yeah, well… I don’t know.” The younger man shrugged, taking off his shoes and wondering if Liam would wanna leave now that he had seen the place. Didn’t look like it. “Do you, uh, do you want anything to drink?”

“Sure, yeah. Thanks.” Okay, so he was going to stay.

Niall was definitely a lot more nervous having Liam here than if they had been anywhere else together. At least he barely had any personal things because he hadn’t really bothered thinking about decorating the place or whatever, there had been no time so far and also… no need, really. 

Liam still found stuff to look at while Niall got him a glass of water, because it was kinda all he had and he had actually just offered so he’d know whether he could expect the older man to stay or not. So now he knew, and Liam would have to be okay with just drinking water. 

“Here you go.” Niall tried to make it sound as if he was completely calm, leaning against the window sill after Liam had thanked him again, maybe taking two sips, if even. 

They fell into a weird silence, the kinda silence Niall would have not expected them to fall into again after everything, and yet here they were. Something was different about Liam, not just his clothes and whole appearance, but all of it. The fact that he had been at the mall with Zayn looking like that, and how eager he seemed to have been to walk Niall home, and come up here with him. And the kiss at the traffic light. His arm around Niall’s shoulders.

And also… “How’d you even find me outside? After I brought the girls to Louis, I mean?”

“I mean, your friend was parked right by the exit.” Oh. 

“But Zayn-“

“I told him I needed to go back and use the bathroom. And he was parked somewhere else anyways.” Liam shrugged, as if it was all bloody obvious, and maybe it had been, who knew? 

“So… “ Niall started, staring out of the window for another moment before finally getting himself to look at Liam, his stomach turning warmer. “So you waited for me?”

“What did you think?” Liam let out a laugh before he stepped closer and no idea why, but Niall suddenly felt stupidly happy. “I would’ve called you either way, even if we hadn’t run into each other.”

“Why?” Of course Niall knew, he just wanted to hear it.

Instead of answering, Liam just grinned before closing the gap between them, kissing Niall right on the lips, a lot more desperate than before. Because Niall’s bed was literally right there behind them, they didn’t need very long to end up on top of it, still snogging, and every doubt Niall had had about them not being able to do anything in here had quickly passed.

Honestly, tonight Niall kinda didn’t feel like playing after Liam’s rules. It was fun and all, but actually, he just wanted to snog him and then have sex, with nothing cutting off his circulation or Liam forbidding him to come when he was already close. 

“Liam… “ Niall asked quietly when the older man’s lips had moved, sucking lightly at his skin while Niall was keeping him close, both arms wrapped around the other’s neck. He had to swallow a bit after, because Liam’s lips against any part of his body always went straight to his groin. “Can we- just tonight, can we do it differently?”

“Sure… how?” He agreed easily, lifting his head as far as Niall was allowing him and Niall felt a bit stupid for having thought maybe Liam wouldn’t want to.

“Like… can I ride you? And just- nothing else?” Niall didn’t know how else to say it, he didn’t even know why he was nervous about it either, because actually, Liam looked happy about it. 

“’course.” He told Niall before leaning down to kiss him some more, and Niall smiled against his lips, twisting his fingers into the hair in the back of Liam’s neck.

They had quite a bit of trouble undressing each other in Niall’s rather small bed, and Liam just ended up getting up to do it himself, laughing when Niall got slightly embarrassed over it. Somehow it was nice, that it wasn’t serious, that they were just going with whatever the moment brought. And it didn’t mean Niall hadn’t enjoyed whatever had been before, he just liked both.

When Liam lied back down, Niall took it upon himself to make him fully hard, insisting to blow him until Liam’s breathing was getting heavy and he stopped him. “You gotta- ‘m not gonna last.”

“Okay… “ Niall was a little bit proud of himself as he sat up and saw Liam’s red and sweaty face, how his chest was heaving, and he couldn’t help but lean down to kiss him some more before he went to straddle his lap.

The younger man was keeping eye contact with Liam as he reached behind himself to grab a hold of the older man’s erection, his body already having produced enough slick so that his hole easily gave in has he rubbed the head of Liam’s cock against it. Usually Liam was the one teasing, but he let out a harsh breath the moment they touched, and Niall kinda enjoyed watching him squirm just for once, sitting down on his erection only to pull him out again until the older man let out a frustrated groan. 

It wasn’t the first time Niall was riding him, but the first time Liam was just letting him do whatever, giving him full control of everything, and Niall had to admit it wasn’t so bad. When he was fully sitting down, Liam’s erection all the way buried in his ass, he actually had to take a moment to breathe, heart hammering in his chest. 

“How’s it- feel?” Liam asked breathlessly, rubbing his hands up Niall’s thighs, sending goosebumps all over the younger man’s body.

“So fucking good.” Niall half moaned before starting to circle his hips, feeling Liam’s erection pressing up against all the spots that made him see stars. “Shit… “

They wouldn’t last long, neither of them, but Niall didn’t care as he started to bounce on Liam’s cock a few moments later, riding out his own pleasure as he threw back his head to moan out Liam’s name, his rhythm going fast and hard. He could feel Liam’s knot swelling up inside of him, every time sitting down on his lap the stretch got a bit more, always between the very edge of pain and pleasure, but so bloody good that Niall couldn’t seem to get enough.

“ _Ah_ \- Liam!” When Liam grabbed a hold of Niall’s erection in front of him, wanking him off sloppily while Niall was still fucking himself on his dick, Niall could barely breathe anymore, tightness and heat building in his belly and he was so, _so_ close as he sat down on Liam’s knot one more time, feeling the older man releasing inside of him.

“ _Fuck, Niall…_ ” Liam’s moan was enough to send Niall over the edge as well, and he came over the older man’s fist and chest, riding out the waves of pleasure on his knot. 

Liam was still coming inside of him while Niall slowly came down from it, his body now feeling loose and relaxed, but he had to remain sitting because they were stuck together as usual. Not that he minded, because Liam looked so fucking hot right now and god- Niall could barely even grasp a clear thought. 

His stomach felt tight when he suddenly felt Liam’s hand on it again, making him groan as he pressed against it, and it was kinda hot, so Niall let him, clenching around his dick still inside of him because he knew it was pleasurable to Liam, even after they were finished.

“Niall… “ The older man started as he slowly let his hand slip again, looking kind of exhausted really, and Niall felt the same. Maybe that’s why he didn’t really think anything of it when the older man asked. “Can I stay?”

“Yeah… sure.“ He wouldn’t have wanted him to leave, especially not tonight, and Niall couldn’t put his finger on it, but he kinda had a feeling Liam needed the company a lot more than him tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! :) 
> 
> week and week again i tell myself i will start the chapter sooner, and yet i always seem to finish it Monday's, and i dont even know why, because i really enjoy writing this fic a lot!!! im happy to see so many of you seem to be enjoying it as well, and also that it brings you some distraction, it does the same for me! luckily it seems whatever was wrong with my jaw and head has figured itself out, and i've moved on to imagine other problems with my teeth lmao. but yeah, at least nothing hurts anymore!
> 
> i hope you all enjoyed the chapter (no worries, niam will still have kinky sex in this fic, i just needed a break and i think they did too, lmao). things are definitely changing, especially their feelings for each other and mostly liams because hes starting to realize he will have to switch up a lot of things at work, and its making him a bit insecure, so niall is a bit like his safety blanket :) youre welcome to leave a comment if you feel like it, have a good week! <3


	8. Chapter 8

Liam wasn’t sure if he was supposed to feel bad that Niall was living in such a tight flat, but then again, it didn’t seem to bother the other man at all. Also, Liam found it to be rather nice, actually, and even though he would probably question it in the following few days, he wasn’t unhappy about how small Niall’s bed was compared to his.

“I’m kinda hungry. I only had popcorn today.” Niall mumbled after a few moments of silence. He had moved to lying next to Liam once the older man’s knot had gone down, and made sure to at least half cover them both with his blanket.

Another thing Liam hadn’t thought about whenever he had asked if he could stay because the thought of leaving and having to be alone with his own thoughts had almost killed him. Niall only owned one blanket.

“I’ll order you something.” Liam told him automatically, not knowing where his phone was though because he was just lying on his back still, feeling Niall’s even breathing against his bare shoulder.

“Okay… the thing is though, if you order something I will have to get dressed and get up because the front door is literally right there.” Right, Liam hadn’t considered that. “But I would accept a pizza.”

“Would you?” Liam laughed, forcing himself to sit up so he could look around for his clothes.

He almost fell off of the bed in an attempt to get to his jeans without having to move unnecessarily much and Niall was having way too much time pretending to push him off of the mattress. 

“Alright. Here.” The older man handed Niall his phone without thinking after lying back down, and Niall propped himself up on his elbow, taking it with a confused expression. “I’ve no secrets on there, and I know you know the passcode anyways.”

“It wasn’t on purpose, you always type it in in front of me.” Niall defended himself, but then he smiled as he lied back down as well and Liam let his eyes fall closed. “… do you want something as well? I’m not good with sharing.”

“I just ate when I was with Zayn, thanks.” No idea why he was thanking Niall when he was the one paying anyways, but whatever. “Get as much as you want. You can also get dessert.”

Honestly, being here made Liam want to buy Niall more than just food, but he decided to keep it together while the younger man was ordering food for himself, handing the phone back to Liam to type in his credit card. There was obvious joy on his face when the order god confirmed almost immediately. “Thank god, only half an hour. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He really was.

Liam put his phone on Niall’s bedside table and they went back to just lying there, both still naked and with their clothes lying scattered on the floor. Because the place was so small, it basically made the entire flat look really messy, but Niall made no attempts to get up or get dressed, “5 minutes before the delivery guy comes”, so Liam didn’t either.

Somehow Liam wanted to tell Niall about his conversation with Zayn, somehow he wanted to tell him even more than just that, he kinda wanted his advice on a whole lot of things, but he was holding back. One, he didn’t want to burden the younger man with any of that, and two, he didn’t want to embarrass himself and he actually had no idea where to even start or how to put it into words.

“Where’d you go to eat?” Niall asked, so Liam told him, thinking he was just trying to make small talk now. Which, honestly, was slightly weird considering they were both naked and had just had sex. And not for the first time either. “… I can’t even imagine you eating there. I always thought you only go to those fancy places in nice clothes.”

“Are you saying the clothes I’ve worn today are ugly?” Liam joked, but he still had to laugh.

“No! I mean- no.” He had disagreed a bit too fast, but the older man was honestly too sleepy to actually turn his head to look at Niall. They were so close that he felt Niall’s warmth next to him, their skin brushing sometimes whenever one of them moved. “Just… it was unexpected. I’ve never seen you like that. Only in fancy clothes or- in nothing. I think normal clothes suit you though.”

“Thank you so much. It’d be worrying if they didn’t.” Liam turned his head only briefly this time, just enough to see Niall’s red cheeks to make him smile. “You do know I’m just a normal person, right?”

“I know. Now. But for a while I wasn’t sure.” He shrugged, his shoulder bumping into Liam’s on the process. “When you came to the interview for my internship, I thought I had lost as soon as I saw you.”

“You kinda had.” Liam admitted, but just because Niall already knew it anyways. “Without Zayn… I don’t know.”

“Without Zayn I would probably still be looking for a job.” It was kinda sad that Liam couldn’t deny that, he knew he would have made a wrong decision without Zayn. So he also needed to trust him now if he thought Liam needed to change a couple things in general. “You are different though, I mean… compared to a few weeks ago.”

“We spent a lot of time together and-“

“No, I mean, you’re different in general. Like, you’ve become more relaxed when we’re working together and stuff, I’m totally rubbing off on you. You’re welcome.” Though Niall made it sound like a joke, it was still the truth and Liam knew it.

He had definitely spent less time working ever since he and Niall had started whatever they had started, he had gone home earlier, taken a lot more breaks and in general spent a lot more time thinking about other stuff. If Zayn had known, he would’ve maybe even thought it was a good idea for Niall and Liam to keep doing whatever they were doing… well, if Liam wasn’t Niall’s boss.

“Then again, I didn’t know you before.” Luckily, because Liam kinda couldn’t imagine his younger self getting involved in something like that, or letting himself be distracted by his one and only goal to build this firm. 

“Probably better that way.” Liam told him honestly, trying to make it into a joke though it really wasn’t one. 

“I’d say it’s better you didn’t know me either, but I’m still the same.” Well, that wasn’t so much of a surprise. “Don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.”

“I think it is.” The older man made sure to tell him, just to make him smile. “Although… “

“What?” Niall sounded kinda offended, and Liam would have laughed if he hadn’t been serious.

“I’m kinda sorry you don’t have a lot of time to play the guitar anymore and focus on your music.” Liam WAS truly sorry about that, he wished Niall could have made it big of course, why wouldn’t he? He had heard him play that one time at this bar and the night had stuck in his memory not just because of what had happened afterwards.

“I mean, I’ve had enough time to try and get somewhere with my music… I just didn’t.” He said it as if he didn’t care about it anymore, but it was pretty obvious that he did. “It’s still my hobby.” 

“Are you gonna play something for me?” Liam asked without thinking, because they were already here and he could see Niall’s guitar from where he was lying in his bed even.

“If you want me to… but I gotta eat first.” Right, the older man had already forgotten about that again. 

Lying here was kind of really peaceful, somehow more comfortable than whenever they were in Liam’s bed. Maybe because they never just talked in bed like that without planning on going to sleep soon, and also never this close and Liam would have never admitted it to himself but he actually quite enjoyed all of this. Also, he was just really glad he had randomly run into Niall, and that he wouldn’t have to spend the night alone.

Liam had never cared about being alone, not for years, but now and especially after his talk with Zayn… he kinda did.

Niall really did only get dressed five minutes before the delivery guy came, maybe even later than that, and it was actually Liam who opened the door after all while the younger man remained sitting on the bed. His eyes went pretty huge though and there was a smile on his face when Liam handed him his pizza, which definitely made Liam want to buy him food more often.

If that’s all it took to make him happy.

Niall ate in bed even though he did have a table and two chairs, but he claimed it was more comfortable that way and Liam just watched him, sitting at the end of the mattress now because Niall’s pizza carton needed a lot of space as well.

“You can definitely have some as well.” The younger man offered after a while, and the fact that he really did not seem as if he wanted to share made Liam appreciate the offer even more.

“I’m really full. But thank you for asking.” Watching Niall destroying that pizza within a few minutes was definitely enough entertainment. He HAD actually gotten dessert as well like Liam had suggested, and that didn’t last very long either, and by the time he was done and chugged down two glasses of water as well, Liam was kinda questioning how he wasn’t close to exploding. “Okay, now I can play something for you, as thank you. Any requests?”

“Just whatever you like playing the most.” Liam told him, surprised that Niall seemed to have so much more energy now as he went to get his guitar from the other end of the room.

He had changed into some joggers and a shirt, his hair was messy and there was actually food on his cheek that Liam hadn’t noticed before and now didn’t feel like pointing out. The thing was, watching Niall sitting on his bed again looking like that, strumming on his guitar as he tried to figure out what to play… Liam was overcome with a very strange rush of affection for him that he would have preferred not to feel. But here they were.

“Okay, I guess I’ll just play you my most popular song. People go wild for it.” He said it while winking, clearly joking, and Liam wasn’t sure if he felt bad or not. Truth was though, he had listened to Niall’s songs online already, but he wasn’t going to admit that right now. Probably never.

Liam really enjoyed watching Niall play, and singing along, getting more and more into it as he continued, and he might as well have been standing on a stage again like he had in that bar weeks ago, because he was putting just as much passion into it. It was fascinating, maybe even more than back then because now Niall was playing for Liam only, although the older man was pretty sure he had forgotten about his presence after a while.

“I don’t think you should give up on this.” Liam made sure to tell him once Niall seemed to be kinda done, just playing a few more melodies before stopping, studying his face for a moment before shrugging.

“I’m not. Just taking a break from playing gigs, I guess. I’m happy you enjoyed it though.” His smile was kinda proud, and Liam couldn’t help but return it, the moment ending way too soon though. 

Niall told Liam he could use his shower, but the older man declined, not because he had anything against Niall’s shower, simply because he didn’t feel like it. The younger man found a new toothbrush for Liam to use that he explained he had only bought yesterday, and they had probably never done a full night routine together like this, ending up in bed again, way too close of course, with Liam only wearing his boxer shorts because Niall only owned one pair of sweatpants for himself. 

Now Liam felt a bit stupid about having asked to stay here, and yeah, normally they were naked whenever they slept in the same bed, but it had been a while since they had had sex. Also, now that they were both being quiet and it was dark and all Liam could hear were some cars driving by, he suddenly had to start overthinking again.

Something he really wasn’t all that used to. 

“Niall?” Liam asked quietly, not sure if the younger man had already fallen asleep or not.

“Hm?” Was all Niall made, sounding tired but it was kinda hard to tell.

“I get it if you’d rather sleep, but… “ Okay, wait, this sounded as if Liam wanted to have sex. And for once, that was really not what he meant. “I was meaning to ask you something. About the firm.”

“Okay. I’m not really that tired.” Good. “What is it?”

“I just, uh… Zayn said a lot of stuff today when we met. About, like- about how I’m running the firm and- you know, people leaving and stuff. And that some people do what they want and I don’t even know about it, and how I’m actually not present at all and- well, short, that I need to change things.” Now Liam had to swallow, because saying it out loud kinda made him feel really stupid.

“What did you wanna ask me?” The younger man sounded confused, but he also didn’t try to talk Liam out of what he had said so… he had to agree with it.

“Just- what do you think about it? Like, in general. If you were me, what would you do?” A dumb question, really, and Liam kinda regretted it because of how helpless it made him sound – he wasn’t helpless, he was just a bit unsure of what to do and how to handle things. And Niall’s ideas had helped him out a few times in the past.

The younger man didn’t answer immediately, he just waited, and waited, and Liam thought he had fallen asleep after all. 

“I’d probably put somebody in charge instead of me and then I’d travel all over the world and do and buy whatever the hell I wanted.” Not the answer Liam had been hoping for. “But, um… I know that’s not what you mean or wanna do. I think all you really need to do is show people you care, that they can talk to you if there are issues, you know? That you’re involved and that they can’t just do what they want, but you’re also not being an asshole about it. Do you even know them all by name?”

“I- uh- no. Some of them.” That was basically where the problems started.

“Well, maybe you should learn their names and check what they actually work as before you start talking to them, ‘cos it could get embarrassing really fast.” See, Zayn hadn’t suggested that, he would’ve thrown Liam straight to the sharks. “And I think you should just admit that the way you’ve been running the firm was wrong. Like, just straight up say it.”

“It’d completely undermine my authorit-“

“What else are you gonna say? You forgot their names and suddenly you realized they’re all quitting and that’s the only reason why you started to care and are willing to change anything? Not because of them?” If Niall put it that way, then Liam truly was an asshole. “You’re really intimidating. You were to me. And you’re kinda not at all approachable, I think a lot of them are happy they never get to see you or have to talk to you. I used to be, before I got to know you. I mean, obviously it’s different between us, but… Zayn’s right. And if I were you I’d admit my mistakes and try to make it better from now on. Sorry if that sounded harsh, I didn’t mean it like that.”

It sounded like really smart advice, and Liam also knew he was right, but there was just one problem… “It’s fine, um… you’re right. I just really don’t know how to talk to people. I mean, I do, but I mean in a non-professional way. Like… communication isn’t really- I’m not that great at it. It’s easy with you, but it’s different, as you said.”

“I really wish I could tell you how to do it, the thing is just… we’re so different that I don’t know if my advice is any help. At all. I’ve had so many different jobs and I’ve never had a lot of money, sometimes none, I’ve never had a lot of responsibility except for myself and even then I also once went years without ever going to a doctor or-“

“Wait, what happened then?” Okay, now they were kinda getting off topic, but?!

“Nothing. Nothing ever happened, it all just sucked and sometimes it didn’t, and now I’m here.” He shrugged, Liam felt it against his own arm. “I’m just saying, I don’t know how legit my advice is, I’ve obviously made more mistakes in the past than you. I’m just telling you how I wish a few of my bosses in the past would have treated their employees, and what I found good about the way they were running the place. That’s all.”

“That’s why I asked you.” Niall was on the other side, not with Liam, but he had been in the past, so Liam definitely wanted his advice. “Technically I know what to do, it’s just… I don’t know if I can.”

“Well, you have to, Liam. If they all run away it’s too late. But I’d start small if I were you, otherwise it’d be really strange… and you need to learn their names first. When you took me to that meeting a while ago and you didn’t know this guy’s name and-“

“Yeah, yeah, I know. That was embarrassing.” More than that. “I just… I think it will come across really unnatural. As if I’m trying too hard all of a sudden.”

“Maybe, but it’s still a start. I think you can do it, it’s not like you don’t know how to interact with people normally.” Was he really so sure about that? “I think it’ll all be just fine.”

“I hope you’re right… “ Well, if he wasn’t, then Liam was screwed either way, so did it really matter anymore in the end? Probably not. 

“I wish I could help, but… I don’t know how. I’m sure Zayn can talk to some of the other employees, he knows a lot of them really well.” He probably already had, he had probably kept more people from leaving than he would have ever admitted to Liam. Also, Liam wasn’t really sure if he would have even wanted to know about it.

“Yeah… he told me he’d help if I need anything.” And Niall was helping Liam too, even without knowing about it. He helped taking some of the stress away and he helped Liam to focus on other things besides work. And right now, he was saving him from being alone at home overthinking. “I’m just… a bit worried what’s going to happen. ‘m not used to that.” 

“You made it this far though, not a lot of people could have done that. So you can do this as well. And sometimes it’s good to be a bit worried, I think, it makes you work harder.” Okay, when had Niall become a motivational speaker all of a sudden? “I mean, not that I really know anything about that or-“

“I’m pretty sure you’ve worked a lot harder in life than me. I was just lucky I had more opportunities, nothing more.” It was true, Liam hadn’t grown up poor, and yeah, traumatic things had happened in his life, but he had still been privileged nevertheless. “I don’t think I could even imagine some things you’ve gone through.”

“I don’t really see it like that, but… thanks.” Niall said it more quietly, and then Liam heard him yawn and he decided this conversation was about to be over anyways. “I’m sorry if I’m not really any help.”

“You are. Thank you.” Just the fact that he was willing to talk about it with Liam was honestly enough. “We should probably sleep now, it’s getting late.”

“Hmm… yeah. But are you gonna be okay?” Niall asked after a moment, and Liam felt his throat getting tighter all of a sudden, not really knowing why.

“Yeah… I’m okay.” Was he? “Thanks for letting me stay also.”

“Yeah, no problem. I wanted you stay anyways.” He said it easily, as if he truly meant it, making the older man smile for a moment. “Good night.”

“Night.” Liam gave back, not sure if he really would be able to sleep now, but he heard Niall’s breathing becoming even in not even 5 minutes.

Somehow it was comforting to be lying here in his bed, listening to his breathing and just hearing a couple cars outside. It was a very different feeling to lying in his own bed at night, but Liam decided he felt a lot more at ease here than he would have at home.

\----------------------

Niall kinda woke up with Liam’s hand in his, and lying way too close to the older man as well, and he had no idea how that had happened, but he also didn’t worry too much about it. Liam was still asleep anyways, so he would never have to know how long Niall stared at him, still a little bit surprised by how strange it felt to be seeing him in here, in his bed, kinda looking completely different than he normally did. Softer. 

At least now Niall knew why Liam had wanted to stay, he must have really been worrying about his firm and how to deal with his employees and Niall truly wished he could have given him real advice or helped, but how? He just hoped Zayn would help Liam instead, and that it would all work out, because seeing Liam worried and uncertain kinda made Niall nervous. He was usually always confident and whatnot, so it must have been really bad. 

Nevertheless, it was a really nice thought that he had wanted to stay with Niall maybe so he wouldn’t have to be alone, and no idea why Niall liked that so much, but he did.

Liam woke up while Niall was in the bathroom, and he couldn’t offer Liam anything and also had no idea how to make him stay, so all he could really do was walk him to his car, because why the hell not? Niall didn’t wanna say goodbye just yet for some reason, and it was a Sunday, what else would he have done?

“It’s only fair I’m walking you. You did the same for me last night.” Of course that was completely different, but Niall was just trying to find arguments. Not like Liam had told him no. 

“I wasn’t sure if I’d find the way anyways.” Liam joked, and it was clearly a lie, but Niall decided to ignore it.

Something was different since yesterday, and not just because they had had no kinky sex for once or the fact that Liam had kinda shown him his more vulnerable side. Niall couldn’t really put his finger on what it was exactly.

They talked on their way to Liam’s car, but sadly the time passed by kinda too quickly, and today, Liam didn’t put his arm back around Niall, and he also didn’t kiss him at that street light. He was wearing his clothes from yesterday though, and his hair was even more of a mess too. Still, they kinda pretended last night had never even happened, that they hadn’t shared a way too small bed and that Liam hadn’t asked Niall for advice or asked him to play guitar for him.

“I’ll drive you home. Unless you have somewhere else to go?” Liam offered as soon as they had reached his car, and although Niall kinda didn’t wanna go home right now, he agreed just so they could talk some more.

“Are you gonna work today?” Niall asked wile Liam was driving, just because he was pretty sure he sometimes worked on Sunday’s as well. 

“No, definitely not. I really don’t feel like it.” He shrugged as he stopped at a red light, and Niall could already see his building from here. “What are you gonna do?”

“Nothing. I don’t know yet.” The younger man shrugged as well because it was the truth. Maybe he’d call Louis and Harry and offer to babysit yet again, because why not? He had barely moved out from their place, and he was already getting bored alone.

“Hmm.” Was all Liam made, and mentally, Niall was already trying to come up with excuses he was going to tell his friends as to why he needed to borrow their kids again. Turned out, there was no need. “Do you want breakfast?”

“It’s almost one in the afternoon.” Niall gave back, stupid as he was, not getting the hint.

“Okay. Do you want lunch?” Liam changed his question, and there was amusement in his voice because Niall only just now got what he was asking. “Because I kinda don’t wanna go home, and if you’ve got nothing planned…”

“I- I would really like lunch.” The younger man told him immediately, relief spreading through him as Liam passed the building he lived in. This was so stupid, and Niall felt a bit pathetic, but then again, it seemed Liam wanted to spend time with him just as much as the other way around. “I’ve got nothing planned. Like, at all.”

“Alright.” Liam just laughed at that, and Niall felt like an idiot for being so over eager, but whatever.

He didn’t take Niall to a fancy place, but actually one he had been to before, which was a really nice surprise. This almost felt normal, with Liam actually looking normal and Niall kinda remembered neither of them had even showered and they were also both wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Well, Niall had thought he would just be gone for 20 minutes and Liam… he hadn’t had a choice. 

“I thought you wanted lunch?” Liam laughed after Niall had ordered pancakes, but the younger man simply shrugged, trying not to be bothered.

“It’s more like- it’s neither. I just felt like I needed some sugar.” Whatever, Liam could laugh all he wanted. “Maybe I’ll let you try them. I can imagine your salad won’t be very flavorful.”

“I’m not just eating salad.” He defended himself, still grinning when Niall pretended to be busy taking a sip from his water. Liam had told him to get whatever he wanted, again, and Niall had felt bad about it, so much that he was already trying to think of a way to pay for his own food once they were done. Pretty sure he’d stand no chance against Liam though. “Are you sure you want nothing normal after that?”

“I don’t think I can eat anything else after that. I’ll be fine, my stomach isn’t used to healthy food anyways.” Sad, but kind of true. “And it still feels like I just woke up.”

“Yeah… I kinda feel the same.” He also looked like it, honestly. 

“Sorry, my bed is kinda small for two people.” No idea why Niall had to apologize for that, but now it was already out anyways.

“It’s not because of your bed. I didn’t sleep bad at all.” Oh. “… did you?”

“No, I slept really well.” Better than on his own, but there was no need to say that. “I just thought… I thought you’re probably used to your own bed and… and the space, y’know. But we slept really long, maybe that’s why. Maybe it was _too_ long.”

“Maybe. That would be something new for me.” He laughed, but Niall could barely even look at him right now because he felt a little bit embarrassed. “Now that you’re saying it though… we slept at least for 10 hours.”

“Yeah… “ Who knows in what kinda position they had been in during the night with neither of them noticing, Niall had also woken up with his hand in Liam’s, and he hadn’t pulled away immediately either. What for? Liam had been soundly asleep anyways, and Niall had kinda been curious as to what it felt like. Not that he had enjoyed it so immensely or anything. “So if I’m really tired tomorrow at work, it’s because I couldn’t go to sleep tonight and you can’t blame me.”

“Have I ever blamed you for being tired or yawning 50 times while we were working?” Well… 

“No, but I’m just saying.” He shrugged again, now finally being able to fully look at Liam again, just take him in, the way the sun was shining into his face because they were sitting outside, the way he was smiling, how- okay, enough, he needed to switch the topic. “Did you really read Harry’s books? Because you told his daughter yesterday.”

“Of course I read all his books, I kinda have to.” Liam looked surprised that Niall would even question that, but honestly, was it really that far stretched that he would just stop caring after signing people? “You haven’t?”

“Umm… no. I know it sounds really bad, but… I couldn’t bring myself to do it. And he’s got like, so many.” No idea how many. Niall was afraid of finding out. “Are they any good?”

“Niall, you know I’m his publisher, right? If I thought they sucked I wouldn’t publish them.” Right. Well, Niall was a bit beside himself today. “You should give them a try. Especially since you work for me. Maybe you should give a couple of the books under our label a try.”

“Do I have to?” Niall couldn’t help but pull a bit of a face, and the older man just started laughing at him.

“Jesus, you make it sound like it’s torture. You don’t _have_ to, obviously. I thought you wanted to, because you asked.” Thank god. “I just assumed you would have read Harry’s books because he’s your friend.”

“He gifted them all to me, I feel quite terrible about it, but I just… I don’t enjoy reading that much.” He shrugged, because it was true, and yeah, it was bad, but it was what it was. “You don’t need to say it’s weird I’m working at a publishing firm, I know it’s weird.”

“I actually think it’s kinda funny.” The older man was still grinning, and then they were interrupted by their food arriving anyways and Niall decided he really liked care-free Liam.

He did end up letting Liam taste his food, and he tried not to pull a face when the older man offered the other way around, with a very knowing look on his face. Was it stupid that Niall ate extra slowly just so they’d have more time together? Definitely, but that didn’t stop him from doing it anyways.

“Thanks again, for paying, I-“

“You don’t have to keep thanking me. It’s fine, Niall.” Liam promised as they left, and he seemed to automatically hold the door open for the younger man too. “Do you wanna go for a walk?”

“Wh- okay, y- sure.” Niall was very surprised by that question, but it also filled him with a lot of relief and happiness. Whatever it was that was going on today, it was already one of the best Sunday’s he’s had in a while. “Where are we going?”

“There’s a park over there. Have you never seen it?” He seemed not to believe it when Niall shook his head, even though it was very much the truth. “How long have you been living in this city?”

“A while. I mean, I wasn’t born here or anything, but… long enough to get to know that park, I guess. I just… didn’t.” Also, Niall had had weird working schedules in his life, a walk in the park had been the last thing on his mind.

“Where were you born?” Liam asked after a moment as they crossed the street, and Niall thought that it said his birthplace on his CV and that Liam could have definitely known already had he cared. Then again, he didn’t know the name of any of his employees, so there was that.

“A smaller town in Ireland… I don’t think you’d know it.” Niall explained, quickly checking the older man’s face right as they were walking into the park. “Why do you look so surprised?”

“I didn’t know you’re Irish.” There was a lot he didn’t know, but Niall refrained from saying that. “You have no accent.”

“We moved when I was still a child and then over time I just lost it. It comes back whenever I visit relatives for longer periods of time, but… I don’t anymore, so. Maybe it’s lost forever, who knows.” Surely not Niall. “If you’re gonna ask why I don’t visit anymore, it’s just because I don’t have a big family and we don’t really speak a lot. We kinda… lost touch.”

“And your parents?” He kept asking, and of course Niall should have expected that question, but he was still dreading it. Sooner or later, everybody asked that question. “Do they live here?”

“Yeah… I mean, not _here_ , but an hour away or so. I think I told you already that we don’t really talk.” Or had he not? It felt like that had been ages ago. Even longer than those phone calls from his mother that Niall had ignored until she had stopped trying.

“You said they hate you. I didn’t think that… that you were being serious.” Now he sounded worried, but Niall simply stuck to shrugging yet again. 

“I was. I mean, they never said they hated me, but it surely feels like it, um… we don’t really ever talk, so… it’s whatever.” Was it though? Niall didn’t really know, but he had also kinda stopped thinking about it.

“Why would they hate you?” If Liam didn’t stop asking then Niall’s mood would be ruined, not even the fact that it was really warm weather and that the park was kinda nice could have changed that. 

“Why do you think?” Niall asked with a humorless laugh, because wasn’t it obvious? All of it? “I dropped out of school to pursue music, failed, went back to school, pursued music again, failed again, had a hundred different jobs, and the list goes on. And don’t say it’s no reason to dislike your child for that, because apparently it is.”

“I’m sorry. Also for asking so much.” Liam apologized immediately and Niall could tell he felt bad about it, but that he was still curious nevertheless. 

“It’s fine. At least they don’t know I was homeless just recently living on Harry’s and Louis’ couch, so… “ They would never have to know now. Hopefully. Then again, it probably wouldn’t have made much of a difference anymore.

There was silence between them, and Liam probably wondered whether he was even still allowed to say or ask something, but he did it anyways in the end. “I’m sorry that happened, I couldn’t even imagine- sorry. You don’t seem like something like that really gets to you, but I know it does and… I’m glad you were able to get yourself out of that.”

“Well, it’s all thanks to you. Or Zayn. And my friends.” It was true, all by himself, Niall would have never been able to get back on his feet, hell, he would have had to sleep on the street. “I didn’t really do anything.”

“Sure, you did, you applied to jobs, right? You went to interviews and you did your best. And when you started to work with Zayn, he was immediately impressed by you. A lot of people would have just given up.” Was Liam trying to give him a pep talk now? It seemed like it.

“I don’t know, maybe. But I’m good now anyways, so… you don’t have to try and make me feel better, I feel fine.” Especially while walking in a park with Liam, but that was beside the point.

“Okay. I’m glad.” The older man seemed slightly embarrassed now for some reason, and he cleared his throat while Niall tried to think of a way to switch the topic, but luckily, Liam did it for him. “Do you want ice cream?”

Honestly, Niall didn’t really want ice cream, but he said yes anyways and the other man looked very pleased, even if he didn’t get anything himself. As expected. Somehow, it seemed that Liam was enjoying buying him food, more so than Niall himself, and he didn’t want to ruin his fun even if he would have a sugar rush afterwards.

“Let’s sit down here.” Niall didn’t wait for Liam to say no, he simply walked off of the path and into the grass, expecting the other man to follow him.

“On the ground?” Liam asked after a moment, but Niall ignored him, simply sitting down and almost dropping his ice cream in the process. 

“Yeah? That’s what people do.” It was a normal thing to do, in a bloody park, but watching Liam sitting down next to him kind of made it look strange and Niall couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Here I was starting to believe you’re not actually as posh as I thought.”

“’m not posh. I just… I don’t want grass stains in my jeans. They’re hard to wash out.” He said it as if he knew what it was like to wash jeans. “… I heard.”

“Seriously?” Now Niall had to stop, and Liam looked away and simply shrugged. Well, of course he had someone washing his clothes, it kinda seemed normal. “But do you know how to use a washing ma-“

“Of course I do.” Liam huffed, looking annoyed, but also embarrassed and Niall felt bad but he kinda also wanted to laugh. “I mostly wear clothes that can’t be put in the washing machine.”

“Right.” Made sense, a little bit. Niall decided to just let it go though, because he wasn’t here to make Liam feel bad or to tease him, especially after he had bought him so much food in the span of not even 24 hours. “Are you sure you don’t wanna try it?”

“I’m sure… thanks though.” There was a hint of a smile on his face, and he actually looked kinda uncomfortable sitting on the ground, but not enough as to where Niall would have wanted to walk again. 

They sat in silence for a bit, Niall finished his ice cream while staring at people sitting or walking by, and just to prove a point, he made sure to lie down once he was done. The sun was now shining directly into his face so he let his eyes fall closed, not really planning on getting up again anytime soon. Sure, going on a walk with Liam had sounded very appealing, but so did just sitting around in his presence.

“Aren’t you worried you’ll get a sunburn?” When Liam asked, Niall almost had to laugh because he had had the same thought almost at the same second.

“I think it’s probably already too late for me to still worry about that.” It was true, Niall was just too pale, a few seconds would have already been enough for his skin to turn red. “But thanks for pointing it out.”

“I was just looking out for you.” Liam defended himself, and Niall kinda heard him move, worried that Liam would just get up and leave, but instead, he actually lied down next to Niall. With a bit of a groan. “This is terrible. It’s not even comfortable I- I’m lying on a branch.”

“Move the branch.” Niall told him while laughing, not wanting to open his eyes right now because he would have just been blinded.

“I did. It’s still uncomfortable and- oh my god!” NOW Niall turned his head and opened his eyes, only to break out into even more laughter when he saw Liam brushing off an ant on his arm, sheer panic on his face. “It’s not funny, they bite.”

“It is really funny, I’m sorry.” The younger man brought out between laughter, but he really wasn’t all that sorry. 

“Fine, whatever. I just didn’t wanna get bit.” Liam huffed, but he did lie back down while Niall was trying to calm down. “I’m allergic to bees.”

“It was an _ant_.” Niall was still chuckling, wiping at his eyes to get rid of the few tears that had almost escaped him from laughing so much. “But don’t worry, if I hear a bee coming, I’m going to warn you immediately.”

“Thank you so much.” Liam would have surely rolled his eyes right now had they been looking at each other, but Niall just imagined it instead. “You’re not gonna fall asleep here, right?”

“I won’t, don’t worry. We can continue walking in a bit, I just need to process all that food.” Kinda, and also, Niall didn’t really feel like walking anymore. “Do you really hate it so much?”

“… it’s alright. Kinda nice.” Liam decided after a moment and Niall smiled to himself, covering his eyes with his arm to block out the light and maybe to save his face at least from a little bit of redness. 

They just lied there not speaking, and when Liam finally seemed to have had endured enough and sat back up, Niall decided that he needed to stop being lazy as well. He let Liam pull him to his feet after the older man had gotten up as well, and just for the split of a second, Niall held onto his hand, almost forgetting about letting go again, but he overplayed it rather quickly by simply starting to talk about some dog that had just run past.

Niall forgot about not wanting to walk really quickly, mostly because they walked slowly and just talked about the most random things that came to their minds, no more serious talk. Nothing about their parents or Liam’s firm or work in general, just light hearted things, and Niall did a lot of talking about himself that he really didn’t mind because it seemed Liam was really interested in hearing everything he had to say. He did ask Liam a lot of things as well, stuff he had been wondering about, but also just to get to know him a bit better.

So obviously, when they got back to his car hours later, Niall didn’t even have to think once when Liam asked him the question as if it was kinda already decided anyways. “Do you wanna come home with me? We can order dinner later.”

\-----------------

Yes, Liam was totally about to buy Niall food the fourth time in a row, but he didn’t care if it came off weird. Just waking up today in the younger man’s bed had kinda made him afraid of having to go home and think about what he had to do tomorrow, or at least this week, concerning his employees and just… it wasn’t only that he wanted to keep Niall around so he wouldn’t have to be alone, it was also that he wanted _Niall_ around. 

None of it had been planned, not last night, and not today, and they had never spent so much time together in one go, without having sex or being at work together, but now Liam had to admit that he would have missed the younger man had he had to say goodbye.

So he had simply decided to take him home, and Niall hadn’t exactly needed any convincing either.

“I think I definitely need a shower now.” Liam had showered yesterday before meeting up with Zayn, so it wasn’t like, gross or anything, but they had been outside for hours and he still felt a bit dirty from lying in that park for so long. Niall had seemed to enjoy it though, so… what had Liam been supposed to do? “Are you gonna join?”

“Are you saying I need a shower too?” Niall was pretending to pout and Liam jokingly shrugged, laughing when he saw the younger man’s face getting slightly pissed off. “Now you ruined the mood.”

“What mood?” Liam laughed again, making sure the door was locked because they had just come into the house. “But you know… now that I think about it… are you really gonna be such a naughty boy and tell me no?”

Though Niall DID roll his eyes at that and Liam had to bite back a smile, he could definitely see the blush creeping into the younger’s face, the way him talking like that was indeed putting them both into some kinda mood. And now that Liam had started it, he kinda wanted to continue. 

“Actually, I’ve got a better idea than a shower.” A WAY better idea.

“What idea?” Niall followed Liam automatically as he went upstairs, a little bit excited now, and also feeling super smart for having come up with it. Not that he had never thought about it.

Liam ignored Niall until they had both entered his bathroom, and the younger boy still looked confused for a moment. “We never tried the bathtub before. Actually… I never even used it myself since I moved in here.”

“You’ve got this huge ass bathtub and you never used it?” He almost sounded offended and Liam had to laugh again, his eyes somehow getting stuck on Niall though, and with the prospect of what they were about to do, he found it a little bit hard to look away again.

“I had no time.” It was true, also, even if he had had time, he wouldn’t have wanted to waste it that way. Now though… it definitely wasn’t wasted time anymore. “We can also take a shower if you-“

“No, no, I’m- sounds like a good idea.” He answered way too quickly, just like he always did when he was really eager and Liam just grinned as he went over to turn on the water. 

“This is gonna take a while, I guess… “ Liam wouldn’t have known, but it looked like it.

Niall was still just standing there in the middle of the bathroom, licking his lips a bit, as if he was nervous, nodding. “I’m… I’m sure we can pass the time somehow.”

“You think?” Liam smirked as he walked over, reaching out to place his hand on Niall’s waist before he simply leaned down a bit to kiss him on the lips, the water still running in the background.

It wasn’t the first time today that Liam had felt a need to kiss or touch Niall, but it had never been appropriate to give in to that before right now. 

Niall immediately got into it, wrapping his arms around Liam’s neck as he stepped closer, until they were all up in each other’s space and Liam licked inside the younger man’s mouth, squeezing his hips more tightly to get a sound out of him. 

Whenever they were kissing like this or really doing anything, Liam very quickly forgot about the rest of the world, work he should have gotten done or things he had to do the next day, it all seemed to just vanish. Maybe it was Niall’s scent that was fogging up his brain like that, he hadn’t really smelled him too much today because they had mostly been outside, but just being close to him again and getting overwhelmed just like always was a clear sign that Liam wasn’t going to ever get used to it.

And he also didn’t even want to. 

Liam moved his hands underneath the younger’s shirt while they were snogging, moving them up his back, feeling his smooth skin while Niall’s body was curling into his, fingers pulling on Liam’s hair and his hoodie. It wasn’t too heated or anything, Liam kinda wanted to take his time and take it slower, also because they had to wait anyways.

Niall was a great kisser, he somehow put his entire body into it, making these sounds in the back of his throat that went straight to Liam’s middle. The younger man very clearly wanted Liam’s clothes off, so Liam did him the favor of quickly breaking the kiss just to pull off his hoodie, Niall’s hands immediately back on him as he touched his chest, giving him goosebumps as he slowly moved them back up to his neck once more.

Liam just let him for a moment, studying his flushed face closely before grabbing a hold of Niall again, palms moving over his arse until he had reached the back of his thighs, easily lifting him up on the counter so he could stand between his legs. It was clearly a surprise to Niall, but he didn’t say anything, just leaned in again to kiss Liam some more, so softly that it made the older man’s knees a bit weak. 

“Have you decided you wanna be good instead?” Liam whispered against Niall’s lips, kinda jokingly, kinda not. 

“Yeah… “ Niall breathed back, knocking his forehead against Liam’s as he moved his fingers through the older man’s hair, their lips brushing when he continued, quietly. “I want you, Liam… “

The way he said Liam’s name in that voice almost made Liam shudder, and he couldn’t help but kiss him again, a bit more eager than before, just wanting to be close to him. Niall was still fully dressed, so Liam made quick process with his shirt, barely being able to stand the seconds they weren’t making out anymore. 

“Patience… “ He told the younger man, even though he himself wasn’t being very patient either, and Niall just whined, pulling Liam closer again to close the gap between them.

Liam’s hands were now roaming all over Niall’s upper body as they continued kissing, tongues sliding against one another as they simply couldn’t get enough of it and Liam had stepped as close as the counter allowed it, almost forgetting what they had been about to do had the younger man not broken the kiss all of a sudden. “The water… “

“Shit.” Liam kinda jumped back immediately, only to realize that he had luckily caught it just in time, hurriedly turning it off while Niall jumped off of the counter. He was visibly hard in his pants and so was Liam, both of them starting to fully undress themselves, not being able to wait.

Still, Liam couldn’t help but kiss Niall again before getting into the bathtub before him.

“Wait… come here.” Liam kinda kept his hands on Niall, not wanting him to slip and making sure the younger man was straddling his lap after. The bathtub was definitely big enough for more than even just two people and Liam felt stupid for never having thought about this before. “Good?”

“Yeah.” Niall told him immediately, making some noise before tilting his head down to kiss Liam, forearms resting on his shoulders as Liam put his hands on Niall’s hips in the water, moving them down over his ass to pull him in even closer. 

Niall wasn’t directly sitting on his dick, but they were definitely brushing against one another and the younger man was moaning quietly into Liam’s mouth, pressing even closer into him.

“Liam…” He started to whine after a while and Liam squeezed his ass in response, his hand wandering a bit until his fingers were brushing up against the younger man’s hole. “Please… “

“Do you want my fingers?” Liam asked quietly, and Niall simply nodded as he breathed out harshly against him, his fingers tightening in the older man’s hair as he pushed one of his fingers inside of him, and then a second one as well because Niall’s body was already more than ready for it. “How’s it feel? Tell me.”

“So good, Liam… “ Niall was throwing his head back a bit when Liam started to finger him slowly, his gaze becoming a bit hazy, voice breathless. “Please- don’t stop… _ah- right there_ … “

When Liam found the right angle, Niall’s moans were becoming a bit louder and he closed his eyes, biting his lip as Liam just sat there watching him, slowly moving his fingers, taking in the sight in front of him as he could feel himself getting painfully hard. The younger man was moving a bit, meeting Liam’s thrusts as the older man added a third finger and their dicks were brushing up against the other, the water splashing a bit around them. 

At some point, Liam just couldn’t take it anymore and he pulled out his fingers, which resulted in a quiet protest from Niall as he blinked his eyes open, looking disappointed as he pressed his mouth on Liam’s, immediately pushing his tongue past his lips, kissing him briefly but deeply.

“Liam, please… I want- your knot… “ Niall was still breathless, purposely moving against Liam to get him to do something and the older man would have playfully scolded him, except he was a bit desperate himself.

“Lift your- yeah.” It was a bit messy, and Liam had to pull Niall even closer to him as he grabbed a hold of his own erection, slowly guiding it inside the younger man while Niall was moaning into his ear. When he was fully sitting down on his lap and Liam was bottoming out, neither of them moved for a moment. “Fuck… you okay?”

“Yeah… Liam… “ Niall sounded as if he was only half there, his fingers were tightly curled into the hair in the back of Liam’s neck, and when he lifted himself just a bit before sitting back down, squeezing around Liam’s dick, it almost felt like too much. “You’re so big, so- I can’t- _please_ … “

“C’mon, move your hips like- _yeah_ … “ Liam was breathing hard as he grabbed a hold of Niall’s hips, guiding him as he started to slowly bounce on his erection. “Just like that, baby… _shit_ … you should see yourself now.”

It was so fucking hot, the fact that Niall was wet and sweaty, sitting on Liam’s erection and riding out his own pleasure, eyes pressed closed and his mouth open as he moaned, his movements getting faster and more desperate as Liam’s knot started to swell at the base.

“ _Yeah, yeah- aaah, Liam…_ ” Niall was always so loud when they had sex and Liam LOVED it, even more so today getting to watch him bounce on his dick for the second time in a row now. “F-Fuck, I’m- gonna- can I- _please_.”

“Go on, c’mon… come for me.” The fact that he was asking for permission made it all even better, and Liam grabbed a hold of the younger man’s erection, jerking him off as Niall was still moving on his, suddenly dead quiet right before he came between them in the water.

Liam took over, pushing inside of the younger man desperately to work him through his orgasm, right before his knot was locking them together and Liam was releasing inside of him, filling him up like so many times before. 

There was definitely water on the bathroom floor now, but it was the last thing on Liam’s mind as he came inside the younger man in steady pulses, leaning his head back against the bathtub wall, his fingers having cramped around Niall’s waist from pleasure. 

Niall let himself fall forward afterwards, his arms around Liam’s neck and the older man kinda hugged him back automatically, because they were locked together anyways.

“… was I being good?” The younger man surprised Liam with the question, but it also made his stomach a bit warmer to think that Niall wanted the praise.

“So good.” Liam told him, kissing the side of his head without really thinking about it. “Are you cold?”

“No, I’m fine… “ Neither of them were fully in the water because the tub wasn’t full, otherwise they would have flooded the entire bathroom. 

They didn’t talk for a while, just kept holding onto each other as they waited for Liam’s knot to go down, but even as it did, Niall didn’t move immediately, he just leaned back a bit and Liam loosened his arms just a tad to let him. 

When Niall looked at him, arms still loosely wrapped around him, Liam didn’t really know what he was feeling or thinking, all he knew was that he was really relieved when the younger man complied easily as Liam kissed him. He didn’t normally do this after they had already had sex, not like this anyway, but somehow today he just couldn’t resist.

Niall seemed well up for it too, and Liam actually had no idea how long they were making out for with Niall still sat on his lap. Now that the edge had been taken off they were really taking their time, kissing a lot more gently than they normal did, but it was also so fucking good that Liam just couldn’t bring himself to stop.

He could still taste Niall in his mouth when he did finally pull out of the younger man, but even then Niall didn’t move and Liam kinda didn’t want him to anyways.

“I kinda feel like I need a shower now… I can’t stop thinking about sitting in my own jizz.” Well, a way to ruin the mood.

“You’re impossible.” Liam told him while laughing and the younger man just grinned at him. “Let’s go shower then, c’mon.”

They had showered together before, but just to have sex or get each other off, so this was kinda very different and Liam couldn’t say no when Niall told him he was really good at head massages, and if he was just doing it because he wanted to touch Liam some more then… who was he to complain, really? 

He would’ve been a fool.

The bathroom definitely needed to be wiped up, and Liam told Niall to go and order them food while he was busy doing it, but the younger man came back to help and ask what Liam wanted to eat. They had both changed into more comfortable clothes that all belonged to Liam, and there was really just something about Niall sitting on his kitchen counter afterwards while they were waiting for their food, hair still wet and wearing sweatpants and a shirt that were both too big on him. 

“I feel a bit bad you’ve basically been feeding me for more than a day now.” He didn’t sound as if he felt bad, AT ALL, and Liam wouldn’t have wanted him to anyways. 

“Don’t. I told you it’s fine.” Liam shrugged, leaning on the kitchen isle while he was briefly answering a message on his phone. When he was done, he just couldn’t help and walk over to the younger man, who had a smile forming on his face, already reaching out for him before Liam had even thought about what he wanted to do. “Can I…. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Niall sounded happy when he said it, his arms wrapping loosely around Liam’s neck as the older man was standing between his legs, hands resting on the younger’s thighs. 

They weren’t usually this touchy with each other outside of bed, but somehow Liam couldn’t stop tonight.

“It’s just something I’ve been thinking about... “ He started, suddenly feeling stupid about it, but now he had made Niall curious already, so… “You ever… have you ever experienced a heat before? Or did you take those pills right away? Sorry if that’s too private, or-“

“Nothing between us still feels too private anymore.” True. “I’ve gone through a couple of heats, a long time ago, it wasn’t any fun so I started to take the pills. I’ve never- back then I was still a teenager and I was living at home and I didn’t have anybody, so… it was a pain to go through. I always thought there’s no need for me to go through it until I’m older and decide I want kids or something. Why are you asking?”

“I don’t know, I was just wondering… “ For various reasons, but mostly… “It’s, um… it’s kinda hot. It feels different… for both sides. Mostly Omegas.”

“I heard that… I know it feels a lot more intense and… “ And then Niall stopped talking, and their eyes met for a moment. “Are you saying you want to do that?”

“No, I just- I don’t know.” Now Liam felt hot all of a sudden, he couldn’t say he hadn’t been fantasizing about it. About Niall begging for his knot the entire night long because he couldn’t get enough. “I mean- we can’t. I could impregnate you on accident or-“

“We could use condoms.” The younger man threw in immediately, as if he suddenly wanted it even more than Liam. “But, um… I can’t go to work while I’m in heat and- and you couldn’t go either.”

“Yeah… “ Unfortunate, but still tempting. Liam was licking his lips as he thought about it, coming up with the stupidest ideas in his head. “Unless… unless it was a weekend.”

“But I can’t time it, I don’t know when it’ll come if I decide to stop taking the pills and I-“ Again, he stopped talking, except this time, it seemed a lot more random, and his eyes suddenly went a bit bigger as he stared at Liam, frozen almost.

“What’s going on?” Liam was confused, afraid he had scared the younger man off, but Niall needed another moment to snap out of it. “Niall?”

“Umm, nothing, I-“

They were interrupted by Liam’s phone ringing, undoubtedly the delivery guy, and as hard as it was, Liam had to walk away and once they had sat down and had their food, Niall simply brushed it off as he asked again and it felt wrong to continue their conversation from before. So they just… didn’t, and Liam was left wondering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! i hope you had a good weekend :)
> 
> i kinda really like this chapter because its a bit fluffy but also smutty and their relationship is definitely developing at a faster pace now! im also ready to move on to some drama, as you can maybe tell from the hints ;)
> 
> thank you so much yet again for so much feedback!! im so happy youre all enjoying the fic so much <33


	9. Chapter 9

“And how do you enjoy working here?” Liam asked, feeling really fake while doing so and even faker as he smiled, but what was he gonna do? He was truly trying his best here.

“A lot, everyone’s really nice.” The other interns nodded along with the one who spoke, and Liam could tell they were all really nervous because he had asked them to come to the meeting room, completely randomly in the middle of the day.

He could have called them to his office, but Niall was there, and Liam knew himself too well, he would have let Niall do all the small-talk and just left at some point to do something else. He had done it countless times to Zayn, so it really was no wonder the other man was about to lose it on Liam.

It was Tuesday now, Liam had managed to yet again ignore his friend’s advice yesterday, but after lying awake almost the whole night worrying about stuff and Niall not sleeping over because he had been babysitting or whatever, Liam had decided to pull it together and change things from this day on. Which was a lot easier said than done, and also, he wasn’t really used to having things to worry about that were keeping him awake, which weren’t all work related either. Actually… most of them had to do with Niall.

But Liam wouldn’t have ever said a word to him because this was kind of uncharted territory for him, like yeah, Liam had had relationships and fuck buddies and whatnot, especially in his teens, but THIS… whatever it was, Liam had a feeling it was slowly slipping out of his control. If he had ever had any control at all, because from the very beginning it had been his instincts making him take notice of Niall in the very first place. 

Either way, Liam felt a little bit beside himself, and it also didn’t help that he felt like Niall was being more distant since this weekend. Maybe he hadn’t enjoyed spending so much time with Liam, maybe it was already getting too serious for him, especially with Liam telling him about his problems and whatnot. None of this had been part of the plan.

If there had ever been a plan to begin with.

“We, um- we’re not getting kicked out, are we?” Somebody else asked after a short silence, and Liam was surprised about her asking him straight out, but not really that that was what was on everyone’s minds.

“No, not at all. I was just checking in, I wanted to know how you’re all doing, if there are any problems or if you have any questions. Anything at all really.” Yes, Liam had totally written those questions down last night and had read through them a couple times just so he wouldn’t embarrass himself today.

It still didn’t come out natural.

There was more silence, and the interns kept looking at each other, trying to make each other talk, but it seemed no one had anything to say or simply didn’t dare. Honestly, they all looked flushed and scared and now Liam finally saw what Zayn was talking about. The people working here, they didn’t even wanna consult Liam because they didn’t know what to expect, they didn’t know him except for those few occasions.

Fucking amazing.

“I think I- I might have to set something straight.” Liam broke the silence eventually, and now HE was getting nervous and he hated it, he didn’t wanna lose his face in front of them and if he already had such a hard time with young interns, then his normal employees would eat him alive if he behaved that way. Maybe that’s why he was starting with them, kind of as a training. “I am aware that you haven’t seen much of me since you have started this internship, and that at times you might have heard certain things from other employees, regarding this firm, maybe me-“

The way they were looking at each other was confirmation enough.

“But it is completely in my interest that you guys, and everyone else who works here, is doing well and doesn’t have worries they feel like they can’t approach me with. If there is nothing at all that is bothering you then that is great, but if there is then I promise I am more than happy to listen and find a solution. Of course also after today.” What if there was no solution? Liam hadn’t thought so far.

There was more silence, the interns kept looking at each other, at Liam, at their hands, at the wall, and when Liam already thought he shouldn’t have taken Niall’s advice and been honest, one of the interns suddenly spoke up. 

“The guy I had to work for last week refused to teach me or let me do anything at all, he made me correct his kid’s essays.” He blurted out, and Liam already had his mouth open to ask who exactly that guy was, but he didn’t really have any time. 

“I’m never allowed to take a break when I work in the IT department.”

“The woman at the entrance keeps asking me to show an ID whenever I come to work and I thought she was just being careful but I overheard somebody saying she does it to all the people she wants gone.”

“I keep getting calls on the weekend and even at night and everyone expects me to always be ready to work even when I’m off or already in bed.”

So… this was going to be a long ass meeting then. 

\----------------------------

“You’ve been gone for ages.” Niall commented as Liam came back to his office, probably hours later, he had no idea, he didn’t even say anything about the younger man LYING on his couch while he was on his laptop. “I thought you just wanted to ask the interns how they’re doing.”

“I did. There were a lot more problems than I expected.” Liam sighed, hesitating for a moment before walking over to the couch as well, having to lift Niall’s legs over his laps so he’d even have any space, leaning his head back. “Apparently everyone except a few people are treating them like servants and refuse to teach them anything at all, and I had no idea. And they only told me after pretending it was all good, and now… now I’ve got even more things to worry about than before.”

“But it’s good that they opened up to you, right?” The younger man asked, his voice sounding very unsure.

“Of course, but… that only made the problem even worse than I assumed it is. Now I know how some of my employees really behave, so I can’t go and also be nice to them and have a meeting like the one I just had because I know all these things, and if I just go and talk to them about what happened… they will either deny it or just not care because they know I never confront them about their work anyways. Unless it’s exceptionally bad, but that also requires I know about it first and now that this is over I feel like there are so many things I don’t know and maybe the interns are lying and maybe-“

“Liam.” Niall interrupted his self-pity party and Liam felt caught, his cheeks turning hot but at the same time he really didn’t feel any better whatsoever. This was terrible, maybe he had made a mistake. “It will all be fine.”

“You don’t know that.” Liam gave back like a stubborn child. “I don’t know what to do, I’ve never come into a situation like this, everything was fine the way it was and now suddenly it’s not and I always thought I’m really good at running this place and turns out I’m actually terrible.”

“If you were so terrible at it then this place wouldn’t even exist anymore, no one would wanna sign with you and everyone would have run away. It’s a really big firm, it’s kinda normal you don’t know everyone that well.” But wait…

“But on the weekend you said I should learn everyone’s name and-“

“Not _everyone’s_ , but if you’re gonna talk to certain people, then yeah.” Oh. “I have to admit, I… I would have never expected for you to freak out like this. About anything.”

“Thanks. That’s not helping.” Liam had closed his eyes now, his hands were still resting on Niall’s legs but the younger man pulled them back now, putting his laptop on the table. 

“Look at me.” Niall demanded, and so Liam did, even though he really did not feel like it. The younger man was now sitting cross legged on the couch next to him, his expression a lot more serious than Liam would have ever expected to see on him. “You’re going to go and tell Zayn what happened, and then you will ask him for advice.”

“I don’t want to ask Zayn for advice, I-“

“Well, but you have to. I can’t give you advice and then sleep with a clear conscious because I have zero clue about anything regarding being a CEO or even working in a firm. I gotta admit I- I was a bit overwhelmed today by covering for you.” He said the last part very slowly, but honestly, and now Liam also felt guilty on top of feeling stupid. “I also asked Zayn to come at some point to explain something to me and then it worked out fine.”

“I’m sorry, Niall, I should have considered that, I- it wasn’t fair, I was just thinking about myself and I was worried and- but that’s no excuse. You can have the rest of the day off if you want.” Liam just said it without thinking, and the younger man seemed very confused, and not at all happy.

“I don’t wanna have the rest of the day off, what would I be doing anyways?” He let out a laugh then before moving a bit closer to Liam all of a sudden, his face having gotten softer and now Liam thought that maybe he had just imagined Niall having gotten more distant. “You don’t have to apologize to me about giving me work, you’re my boss. Also, I felt a bit proud you’re trusting me this much, so I got stressed about messing up.”

“I wouldn’t care if you had messed up, I’m just glad you’re here to do these sort of things for me… and I’m still sorry. I’ll make it up to you, thank you for doing this.” Liam truly meant it, he hadn’t meant for any of this to get so out of control. “I should probably really ask Zayn… he’s got a good relationship with a few people here, I think.”

“That would definitely be helpful. And the interns like him too, he probably knows a lot more than he told you because he wanted you to finally make a change.” Niall shrugged, and then he smiled, and when he reached out to touch Liam’s shoulder, the older man thought his hand was burning through his clothes. “I know it will all be fine, you built all of this, it’s not all going to go down just because some interns complained to you and some employees might not work how they should. Considering how big this place is I think it was to be expected.”

“Yeah… maybe… but it still came as a surprise to me.” Liam sighed again, rubbing his hands over his face and suddenly feeling so exhausted that he forgot to care as he simply asked the question the very second it came to his mind. “Are you gonna sleep over tonight?”

Thing was, Niall wasn’t as excited as he usually was, he actually seemed very surprised, and then he looked down, his face falling a bit. “I can’t… I promised Lou and Harry I would babysit again and put the girls to bed, so I… I don’t know when they’re gonna come back.”

“Oh. Okay, yeah, no worries.” The older man had to clear his throat a bit, and he hated the disappointment in his stomach, hated the panic arising in him already upon the prospect of having to spend yet another night struggling to fall asleep.

This had never happened to him before, it seemed the moment Niall had entered his life several other things had suddenly started to change as well, and not exactly in a positive way. At least Liam couldn’t see one now. 

They fell into a really weird silence, both of them just sitting there looking at anything but each other and Liam was SO close to asking what was up with Niall, ever since Sunday night pretty much, where they had talked about his heat and then… he had wanted to say something, but he had never finished that sentence.

And now it was eating Liam alive.

“Niall, are you o-“

Liam got cut off by a sharp knock on the door, and he barely had time to make sure to move away from the younger man, just a bit, not even getting to stand up or anything when Zayn had already entered the office. Jesus Christ, he really needed to stop doing that or he would catch them doing something at some point for sure.

“Hi, I- what are you guys doing?” Good fucking question.

“Working.” Niall told him with a grin, as if he was enjoying this, as if he had wanted Zayn to see them this way.

“On the couch, no shoes?” He was referring to the fact that Niall had taken off his and was still cross legged, and the younger man simply shrugged while Liam wondered how in God’s name he had gotten into a situation like this. Half a year ago, he would have laughed had someone told him this was what his life would turn into. “Well, alright.”

“Did you need anything?” Liam asked after clearing his throat, watching his friend come over to simply sit on the coffee table in front of them, making this whole scenario seem even more casual than it should have been.

“Not really, I just wanted to see if Niall needed any more help and whether you’re already back from talking to the interns, how’d it go? I didn’t get the chance to speak to them, I was just in my office.” He spoke completely neutral, and Liam wondered whether he was lying about the last part.

So just because everyone knew the whole backstory anyways, he repeated it yet again, in a bit more detail this time because Zayn had asked. And strangely enough, it seemed the other man actually seemed… happy?

“Well, see! I knew you could get people to open up if you just show a bit more interest and let them know you’re not just their boss but that you also care about their well-being. Even if deep down you don’t, at least when it comes to some people, but- anyways, I think that’s great progress.” The worst part was, he seemed to really mean it.

“It’s not, Z, what am I gonna do now? I can’t just go and talk to these people and-“

“Of course you can, Liam, you’re the boss, remember? It’s your job. Even if you kick a few people out then it won’t make a difference, considering how little work some of them already do… “ Okay, and he had never thought he should tell Liam that?! “Tell me if you need any help or so.”

“I-“

“He needs your help.” Niall interrupted Liam, and Zayn pulled up his eyebrow as he looked from Liam to Niall and back, but the youngest man seemed to have not noticed in the slightest. “I need the bathroom real quick.”

They didn’t talk until he had slipped his shoes back on and crossed the room, and Liam’s chest suddenly felt a bit tight and he had no idea how he was ever going to get his life back to normal. Not that it had been so great, but… it had involved less worrying and more sleep. Which really said something because he had never needed a lot of sleep anyways. 

“I know you think I will comment this, but I decided I won’t do it anymore.” Zayn finally broke the silence, almost whispering because Niall wasn’t far away, just behind a wall. “Just know I think this is really strange.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Liam gave back, not having the energy anymore to be overly embarrassed. Whatever, hell, he had slept with Niall so many times he had lost count, he had tied him to his fucking back and fucked him on the very couch he was now sitting on. “He, uh… he’s right though. I could really need your help, if… if you have time, maybe. I understand if you don’t and-“

“Li, I literally just offered.” Zayn laughed, but he just seemed confused if anything.

“I thought maybe you were just being polite.” Liam shrugged, trying to make it sound like a joke when it really hadn’t been one.

“I think that’s more your style.” Kinda rude, but it was the truth. “Okay, well, what would you do now if you had to decide without telling me about it? Let’s start there.”

It was a very nerve wrecking rest of the day for Liam, Zayn stayed for hours while Niall was trying to do damage control on all the work getting left behind. He was sitting in Liam’s spot for that though, on his laptop, looking very professional and it was kinda hot and Liam had a really hard time not staring at him and focusing on Zayn instead.

Now it would be even more unbearable to say goodbye at the end of the day, knowing that he would have to get back to his empty house by himself. And what was even worse was the fact that Liam had never felt this way before, so now he had no idea how to handle any of it and there wasn’t a single soul on this planet he could have asked to help sort his thoughts.

Amazing.

\-------------------------------

“I wish I didn’t have to go to bed so early.” Josie mumbled, and Niall thought that he wished a lot of things too. “It’s also not fair that Clara has to go to bed when I go to bed because she’s a lot younger than me.”

“I felt the same way when I was your age.” Niall lied, silently praying that she would just sleep. He wasn’t good at bedtime, Clara was asleep but only because she had almost fallen asleep while brushing her teeth before.

And now Niall was in Josie’s room, sitting on a chair made for kids next to her bed to keep her company because she had claimed there was no way she could fall asleep without him in here. So what was Niall going to do? He wasn’t her parent and Louis and Harry knew that he wasn’t the best at discipline and yet they still put him in charge over and over again.

Not that Niall had minded it, especially tonight, and he still felt bad about not sleeping over at Liam’s, which was kinda strange to think about, because he hadn’t even wanted to sleep over. Not because of Liam, just… there was something Niall needed to figure out. 

Then again, he also knew Liam was really stressed out right now, which wasn’t at all like him, and it worried Niall because he couldn’t really help him because he had never been in a position like that and-

“Uncle Niall?” Josie interrupted his thoughts, not sounding too happy.

“Sorry, love. What did you say?” Niall had kinda zoned out thinking about Liam, not hearing a word the little girl had said.

“Nothing, it wasn’t so important.” She shrugged, playing with her stuffed toy for a moment. “Are you okay?”

“I- of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Great, now a six year old was asking Niall if he was okay.

“You look a bit sad. And before when we were watching TV and when we were eating dinner you didn’t say a lot. Usually you do… “ Oh god, had it really been that bad?! “Do you not like spending time with us anymore?”

“No, no, of course I do, love. Why would you think that? I always like spending time with you guys, I really miss you ever since I moved out.” It was true, even though it hadn’t been that long ago, but now Niall felt like a terrible person for making Josie think that. And who knew for how long she had already been thinking it?! “I, um… I didn’t feel so good today. But it had nothing at all to do with you and Clara, okay? I promise. You actually made it better.”

“Why did you not feel good?” She was half sitting up now, so there was no way she’d be going to bed anytime soon, and Niall had also kinda stopped caring at this point.

“Um… “ There was nothing at all he could have said that was child appropriate, much less the child of his best friends who he had been lying to. “A friend of mine, he, um… he has a few problems and I wish I could help him, but I can’t.”

“Why not?” Josie kept pushing, and Niall repressed a sigh. It wasn’t even the full truth anyways, he WAS feeling bad because he knew Liam felt bad, but there was of course more. 

“Because… you know, some things you just can’t help somebody with when you’re an adult. Even if you really want to.” A nicer version of Niall was incompetent and working a job he had zero experience for. 

“But you can still listen to your friend and spend time with him, right? That will make him feel better. One time, my friend told me her parents are always fighting and it makes her sad and I couldn’t do anything about it but I asked my daddy if she could come over so we could play and that made her happy.” Josie explained and Niall suddenly had a really tight throat listening to her talk.

“Yeah… you’re right. I should talk to him and… maybe that helps.” It wouldn’t, they had already tried that, and now there was this other problem too and Niall just didn’t know what to do. But he couldn’t tell Josie that of course. “You’re a smart girl, you know that?”

“I know.” She shrugged, with a small smile on her face that made Niall smile too. “I’m still not tired.”

“I thought so.” Niall laughed quietly, wishing he could have leaned back in this chair but it was too small. “As long as you sleep before your daddies come home then we’re all good. But that doesn’t mean I want you to stay up so long on purpose, but I understand if you’re not tired... do you wanna read a book? I can read one to you, your dad told me you got a new one.”

“No, thank you… I don’t wanna read that one, it’s all about babies and stuff… “ Okay, apparently not the right topic, now Josie just seemed to be annoyed. 

“Do you not wanna read anything about babies? For when your dad has his baby?” Niall suddenly got a bit worried as well because Josie didn’t really react at all to that.

“No, I already know lots about babies. Clara was a baby too. I don’t like how it’s all about that now.” She huffed, roughly combing her fingers through her stuffed toy’s fur. “I don’t know why my dads need another baby… “

“But Josie, you love Clara, right? And you will love the new baby as well, even if it takes some time.” Shit, what was Niall supposed to say to that?

“Maybe. But I still don’t understand… what if they have 5 more babies one day? They will forget about me.” Oh.

“They would never, _ever_ forget about you. I promise you, Josie. You should talk to your dads about it and tell them how you feel, I’m sure they would understand and they would want to talk about it with you.” Because Niall couldn’t do this, he would have to tell Harry and Louis about his conversation and he was already dreading it. 

More than that, he felt quite terrible for the little girl surrounded by her stuffed animals thinking her dads were looking to replace her and her sister. 

“Look, your daddy has lots of siblings too, right? And his mom loves them all, and they all come home to celebrate Christmas every year and you love playing with all your cousins, right?” Good thing Louis had such a big family, perfect example. Also the only one Niall could have thought of right now anyways.

“Yeah, but… lately all my dads talk about is the baby. And that we will move and I don’t wanna move, I wanna stay here.” They weren’t moving far actually, five minutes by car tops, but Niall was aware that it was difficult for a child. “And Clara is really excited about the new baby too and what if it’s a girl and then they will only ever play with each other… “

“Josie, you’re the biggest sister, they’re always gonna need you to show them things and they will always look up to you. There will never be a day Clara won’t wanna play with you, even on those days you wished she wouldn’t.” Niall told her with a smirk and at least it made Josie smile a little bit. “I understand you’re scared, love, I really do. And I know what I’m saying isn’t going to take that away, but if there’s one thing I know it’s how much your dads love you, and Clara as well, and a new baby will not change. Nothing ever will. I promise. And I really think you should tell your dads about it, even if it’s scary and even if you’re nervous, you will feel so much better afterwards.”

“I wanted to… but they’re always busy lately… I know it has nothing to do with me, but I don’t like it.” Okay, now Niall had no choice anymore, he HAD to tell them. Great, more problems, more stuff to worry about. 

The saddest part of it all was, Niall really felt for her because he knew what it was like, wanting attention from your parents and not getting it. Even if he knew Louis and Harry were amazing parents, but obviously Josie couldn’t look at it from that point of view at her age.

“I’m really sorry you feel this way, love… if you want me to, I could talk to your dads about it. Not about everything, just to let them know so they’ll have time to talk about it with you.” It was all Niall could offer really, and he kinda expected Josie to freak out and tell him not to tell anybody, but that never happened.

“… okay. But what if they’re mad at me that I told you first and not them?” Now she sounded a bit worried, but Niall was quick to talk her out of it.

“They won’t be, I promise, I won’t say a lot, okay? They will just be really happy that you came to talk to them, I know it.” And they’d better take their damn time. 

“Okay… thank you.” She seemed to mean it, smiling briefly at Niall. “You’re my favorite out of all my uncles.”

“Thank you, love… I’m not even your real uncle though.” That made Niall smile, his throat suddenly feeling a bit tight, and Josie simply shrugged.

“All my other uncles are weird.” Josie was now looking a lot more happy than before, and Niall actually felt really terrible, but he was still relieved that maybe he had helped her a little bit. “… can we maybe read a book? But a different one?”

So that’s what they did, and Niall felt himself getting tired while reading but he tried his best to keep it together and also to not let his thoughts wander too much.

Josie did fall asleep before Harry and Louis came back, and Niall was close to sleeping in the living room as well after he had closed Josie’s bedroom door. So when his friends entered, he almost had to force himself to get up immediately, not really up for any small-talk anymore.

“Hi, how did it go? Are they asleep? Thank you so much for doing this.” Harry sounded very thankful, and Niall managed a smile as he put on his jacket, slipping on his shoes.

“It went fine, and they’re asleep. Josie a bit later, but… we got there eventually.” Or so. “And no worries, I really don’t mind babysitting.”

“I’ll drive you home.” Louis told him immediately, because he usually did, and Niall almost agreed but then something in his mind told him no. 

“I think I’ll take the bus, thanks.” Niall told him instead, not even really sure why, and then he just blurted out with it, without even really looking at either of his friends. “You need to talk to Josie, she’s kinda upset about the new baby and she thinks you guys are gonna replace her and that Clara will only wanna play with the baby and not her. She, uh… she was really upset. And I offered to tell you guys and she agreed, so… “

“Wait, what?” They both seemed completely shocked, and when Niall looked at them, he was kinda sensing that this would be a long conversation if he didn’t immediately stop it.

“She’s a child, I guess it’s normal to have thoughts like that. She really wants to talk to you guys about it though.” Did she? Well, now she had to. “I’m so sorry, I’d stay but if I leave now then I’m gonna catch that bus.”

“Yeah, s- thank you, Niall.” Louis sounded really absent now, and he was looking at Harry, and Niall was quick to slip out of the door after saying goodbye, leaving them behind worrying and probably discussing what they were going to do.

Niall would have stayed, but he really didn’t feel like making this his own problem as well. He already had too many. 

Upon leaving the building, not in a hurry because the bus had been an excuse, Niall already had his phone out, typing while walking down the stairs.

_To Liam Payne 22:04  
I’m done babysitting now if you’re still awake and have time_

He simply sent it without overthinking, almost immediately feeling better for some reason. For just a moment, Niall was worried Liam was busy, or that he hadn’t seen the message, or that he was asleep or whatever else.

Thankfully though, that wasn’t the case.

_Liam Payne 22:05  
Where are you? I’ll come pick you up_

\----------------------------------------

Liam had to admit he was really relieved that Niall had wanted to come over still, and that he stopped being distant after that and things kinda went back to normal (or what was normal to them by now anyways) for the next 2 days or so. Well, apart from the fact that Liam spent less time in his office and more time talking to his employees and consulting with Zayn.

He had made sure Niall wouldn’t get overwhelmed with the workload and Zayn was helping out immensely as well, so it kinda happened that on Friday Niall was actually in Zayn’s office working while Liam was gone to hold a meeting, and when he came back, the younger man hadn’t returned yet.

It felt weird, and also not right, and Liam hated it but he told himself to just suck it up. This wasn’t forever, and also it was a bit strange he had such issues with not seeing Niall and he was telling himself lies about why the younger man had spent three nights in a row in his bed. 

Liam was a bit stuck in thoughts about some email he had received concerning unimportant things when Niall returned, walking in the room without knocking as usual, a coffee in his hand, looking completely worn out.

“Niall?” Liam asked when the younger man didn’t say anything, simply putting his coffee on the table before lying face down on the coach, groaning quietly. “What’s going on?”

“I feel like shit.” Niall told him, or the pillow more like, and Liam barely heard him because his voice sounded numbed, but it only caused him to feel even more worried.

“What happened?” Was this because he was exhausted or did it have different reasons?! “Niall, talk to me.”

Liam had walked over now, feeling a little helpless because he had never gotten into this situation with Niall. Maybe with anyone. 

“Are you hurt? Are you-“

“I just don’t feel so good… and I’m so tired… “ The younger man told him, finally turning on his back and Liam had to admit he also didn’t look so great. “I think I have a fever, you should probably keep your distance.”

Liam ignored him, sitting on the armrest of the couch and putting his palm on Niall’s forehead, almost pulling it back in surprise. “Jesus Christ, you’re burning up. Since when are you feeling bad?! Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“Only since a few hours… I felt fine this morning… is it really that bad?” Now his face had fallen and he looked worried and Liam regretted his heavy reaction, he had just been really surprised, because Niall had seemed fine before. 

“I don’t know, but you definitely need to go home, you can’t work like that.” Which… posed a couple problems Liam only realized once he had said it out loud.

“I don’t wanna go home… what if I’m really sick and I have to lie in this one room for days?” Niall moved an arm over his eyes, now sounding very distressed, and there really was only one answer to that question.

“You’ll stay with me. I’ll drive you to my place right now and you’ll stay with me over the weekend, and maybe it’s already better by Monday. And if it’s not then you can still stay and I’ll bring you to a doctor.” Liam told him without thinking it through, it seemed really natural to say it all, and also, he wanted Niall with him when he was sick. He wouldn’t have known how to deal with it otherwise, how to not worry about him the whole time and… he didn’t care in that moment, that maybe it seemed a bit strange how eager he was.

“But-“

“It’s already decided, c’mon. Can you get up?” Liam would have to tell Zayn that they were leaving, but honestly… no one would have even noticed had Liam suddenly decided to work from home.

“You don’t have to drive me, I think Zayn wanted to discuss something with you and… I can take a taxi. It’s fine.” Niall had sat up now, looking even worse than before. “And I can also stay at my place, it’s really no big d-“

“You’re not, you’re staying with me.” Liam cut him off, his mind already set. “My housekeeper is home, she’d let you in if I give her a call, but I think I’d rather drive you myself… you really don’t look good, Niall.”

“That’s the first time you told me that.” Niall joked, and Liam would have laughed had he not been so worried. “I’ll take a taxi, I’ll be fine. Thank you for letting me stay with you.”

“Of course… but I might really just drive you mys-“

“I’m calling a taxi right now.” Niall interrupted, already having his phone out, but then he just stared blankly at the screen. “Umm… I’ve never called a taxi. And I don’t have your address.”

That almost made Liam laugh, but honestly, he just felt too worried and stressed out as to do that. He still felt really bad once he had walked Niall outside as soon as the taxi had arrived, already paying the driver beforehand even though the younger man rolled his eyes at that, telling Niall that he needed to text him once he was at his house.

Once Liam was back in his office waiting for Zayn to come and Niall to text him, several thoughts were coming to his mind. One, that he was afraid Niall had something bad and that he was on his own now and Liam wouldn’t know about it if anything happened. Two, for which he felt like a monster, but there was a bit of excitement about having Niall with him all weekend, not even having to ask him every day to stay over because it was getting embarrassing. And finally three… was it just Liam who felt this weird or did Niall feel it too?

\--------------------------------

It was a long day, and Liam couldn’t concentrate on anything at all. He knew Niall was at his house because the younger man had texted him, and also that he would just try and sleep and whether it was okay to borrow Liam’s clothes when he wasn’t there. Yeah, that made Liam smile, but at the same time, he now wished he would have been there too.

Zayn complained to him about paying so little attention during their conversation and then Liam had a meeting with a few people regarding the interns and it didn’t really go all too well. In short, it was a terrible day and Liam didn’t even care anymore that the first thing he did when he got home was to take two steps at once as he went upstairs to his bedroom.

He was craving to see Niall, more so than normally, and he simply couldn’t bring himself to care about it anymore.

The younger man was asleep, buried underneath Liam’s blanket, in his bed, wearing his clothes, phone still in his hand as he slept soundly, and Liam’s just suddenly felt a whole lot lighter as he just stood in the doorway, watching for a moment because Niall hadn’t shut the blinds.

It was really hard for Liam to not touch him, also because he was immediately hit with Niall’s scent, more so than usually, but Liam blamed it on the fact that Niall had been in here for hours without ever opening a window or the door.

Instead of risking to wake him, Liam made sure to walk downstairs and get some work done that he hadn’t managed at the office, even if he would have much rather been upstairs, just to be sure Niall was alright and that his sleep wouldn’t get disturbed. 

Then again, Liam was the only one who could have disturbed it.

He ate some leftovers from last night when they had ordered in as usual, making sure to leave some for Niall as well, and then he did some work, not getting anything done, before finally allowing himself to go back upstairs and have a shower in the guest room bathroom.

It was kinda late by then, and Liam thought about just letting Niall sleep the whole night through because he surely wouldn’t be able to sleep anymore if he woke up now, and he also got some water and some medicine to take back to his bedroom.

Except, it didn’t quite go the way he had thought it would.

One, Niall was already awake, two, he actually didn’t even look sick or tired anymore and three, the most obvious part, Liam was hit with Niall’s scent before he had even entered the room, so intensely that he almost forgot how to breathe.

“You’re in _heat_.” Liam blurted out, because he WAS, Liam could smell it more than just clearly and FUCK, it had an immediate effect on him. “Niall, what- how, I-“

“I can explain.” Niall told him, sounding nervous but also… well, as if he was in heat, and now Liam didn’t know if he should have kept distance or- what the hell?! “I’m sorry I didn’t come downstairs, I didn’t know how to tell you and-“

“Wait, how long have you known?!” He must have felt it, right? Liam wasn’t an Omega but he knew what it was like.

“I woke up like, an hour ago or so and- it immediately hit me, I mean, it’s not like- it’s not like I can ignore it and- _shit_. I’m sorry.” Niall was clearly bothered by it, probably needed some relief and Liam was embarrassed to admit it turned him on. “I really thought I was sick before, it’s been so long since I’ve been in heat and-“

“But you’re taking the pills, right?! You can’t go into heat.” Liam told him dumbly, holding his breath as he went to set down the medicine and water, not going closer to the bed though because he doubted either of them could have controlled themselves at this point.

Niall was all sweaty, hair sticking to his forehead, and GOD, that scent.

“I forgot my pill, on Sunday, and I-“

“ _WHAT?!_ ” Okay for a moment there, Liam kinda forgot about Niall’s heat.

“Because we spent all day together and I only noticed when you mentioned my heat and then I was scared I was pregnant and I thought only way to find out is to see if I could still get my heat and I went to my doctor and he kinda squeezed me in so he asked no questions and I just told him I wanted new pills that wouldn’t suppress my heat and-“

“Hold up, hold up. Niall, what the hell?! Why didn’t you tell me or- when did you even go to the doctor?!” Also WHAT, how was that the only way to make sure Niall wasn’t pregnant? “Why didn’t you tell me, you could have taken a test or-“

“I didn’t wanna take one, I knew I wouldn’t have managed to do it and I was scared to tell you because it was my fault, I was stupid enough to forget my pill and- but it’s all good. I went to the doctor on Tuesday, I didn’t think it’d happen this fast, I was going to tell you, especially because I held Josie a speech about having to talk about problems and then I didn’t even do it myself and just- I’m sorry.” He did sound AND look sorry, also as if he was in pain, and he probably was, but- “Liam… I forgot what it’s like, I feel like it’s so much worse now, it’s building and- _please_ , can we talk later?”

“I- yeah, we can, I- I can’t really concentrate either, I-“

“Thank god.” Niall had gotten out of bed immediately, he was up in Liam’s space almost at an instant, half jumping on him as he desperately pressed their lips together, so eager that there was a hint of pain that felt kinda good though.

The younger man definitely did not want to wait on anything at all, his tongue was in Liam’s mouth and his hands were pulling at his shirt, undoing all the buttons in between them while Liam struggled to even catch his breath. Whenever he did, Niall’s scent was so bloody overwhelming that he couldn’t think straight anymore, starting to tuck on the younger man’s clothing as well and tearing his own shirt at the seam in an attempt to get it off of Niall.

Niall’s skin was hot and sticky once they had finally gotten naked, kind of walking backwards to the bed while still snogging and Liam fell a bit gracelessly on top of Niall once they had reached the mattress, carelessly kicking the blanket on the ground to have more space.

“Liam, please, I need your knot, _please_.” The younger man was whining, not even allowing Liam to move a single centimeter, fingernails digging painfully into his skin as he wanted to keep him close. “Please just do it.”

“Yeah, yeah, one second.” Liam was a bit stressed out, grabbing a hold of his dick to get himself fully erect while eying Niall’s that had turned a color that looked almost painful. God, he wanted to touch so badly he could almost not take it. 

Niall was squirming underneath him as he waited, starting to touch himself as well and Liam kinda thought it was really hot, them wanking each other off together, although Liam really wanted Niall to stop, afraid he’d cum without Liam even being inside of him.

He made sure to push his pillow underneath Niall’s ass and the younger man moaned just from Liam brushing his dick as he made him let go of himself. “Niall, are you good?”

“No, just get on with it.” He sounded really distressed, as if he was in actual pain, and Liam made sure to grab a hold of himself, pushing Niall’s legs further apart so he could push into him.

“ _Oh god… yes…_ ” Niall moaned, as if he felt relief the moment Liam had buried himself completely inside of him with just one thrust, not even stopping a moment before starting to move inside of him because they both couldn’t wait anymore. “Fuck, Liam… it feels so- so fucking good… aaah! _Please, harder, please!_ ”

The younger man was louder than Liam had ever heard him, they weren’t even kissing or anything, Liam was just thrusting inside him, quick and deep, watching Niall’s face that looked like a mixture between pain and absolute bliss. He could feel his knot swelling after just a couple moments, having to push harder to bury it back inside of Niall and the younger man moaned each and every time, the bed making a sound as if it wouldn’t hold for very much longer.

“ _Please, please, make me cum, please- fuck, Liam... please!_ ” Now Niall was full on sobbing, and Liam made sure to grab a hold of his erection, jerking him off as he kept fucking into him, almost losing his balance in the process.

It felt so bloody incredible to be fucking Niall right now, the way he was tightly clenching around Liam, all hot and wet inside, the moans and words coming out of his mouth, it was… unlike any other time they had ever had sex, so intense that Liam just couldn’t believe it.

“ _Liam- Liam… don’t stop- don’t- fuck!_ ” Niall came between them with a moan and Liam just watched him spill over his hand and his own stomach as he fucked him through it, the look on his face all blissful for a moment.

It didn’t take long until Liam’s knot had swollen to its full size, bigger than normally because of Niall being in heat, and Liam watched himself as he thrust into the younger man one last time, how his body gave in easily and just let him slip inside, locking them together as Liam came inside of him with a grunt. 

It felt more intense than usually, and lasted longer, and Liam half collapsed on top of Niall as he came, breathing harshly against his skin in an attempt to calm down afterwards, seeing stars for just a moment, his head feeling a bit dizzy. 

“Are you… are you feeling better?” Liam heard himself ask, barely being able to support himself on his arms as they were stuck together and he stared down at Niall, still feeling himself coming inside of him.

“Yeah… a bit… “ Niall was breathless too, and his face was red and sweaty, fingers weakly grabbing onto Liam. “’m still hard… but it’s okay for now.”

“I just- I need a second.” Liam told him, not being able to help himself and he kissed Niall on the lips for just a moment and the younger seemed really eager to kiss him back as well, immediately nudging his lips apart once more.

Between them, Liam could feel how hard Niall still was, and how his stomach had swollen from all the cum he had dumped inside of him. He made sure to get a hand in between them while they were snogging, hearing Niall moaning into his mouth as he started to wank him again, as much as possible with such limited movement, his hand bumping against Niall’s stomach.

“ _Please…_ ” Now Niall was just whining in between kisses, his fingernails digging painfully hard into Liam’s skin as the older man rubbed his palm across the tip of Niall’s dick before going back to getting him off quickly because he knew Niall needed some relief.

It didn’t take long until he was coming yet again, mouth slipping off of Liam’s as he half moaned, half cried out. This time it didn’t last as long, and Liam could tell he was exhausted afterwards as he stared down at him, breathing heavily, eyes now red rimmed as well. 

“Fuck… I’ve never… I never thought it would feel so intense… “ Niall mumbled after a moment, they were still stuck together at this point and Liam’s knot felt nowhere near going down. “I feel like… like I’ll be ready to go again any time.”

“How did you deal with it when you were alone?” It was a question Liam had asked himself a lot of times, but the younger man simply shrugged now.

“I just wanked myself until my wrist hurt? I don’t know, that’s why I decided to start to take the pills as soon as I was old enough.” He let out a breathless laugh, one that didn’t sound amused at all and Liam simply leaned down to kiss him again, feeling bad for him but at the same time thinking all of this was incredibly hot.

Niall smelled so damn good right now, it was insane, it was waking up things inside of Liam he hadn’t ever thought he could feel, and just the thought of separating from him almost seemed unbearable to him now. The good part was, Niall seemed to feel the same, he was clinging to Liam for his dear life, kissing him as if he would have died otherwise.

Liam felt like he might have.

When his knot was going down, he was still busy kissing down Niall’s neck and sucking a few love bites here and there, anything at all to be close to him while Niall’s fingers were combing through his hair, quiet moans escaping him as Liam’s teeth grazed his skin.

“I think I need a shower… “ Niall mumbled once Liam had pulled out of him, his body not letting any of the cum leak and his stomach honestly looking kind of insane. “I feel really gross but really good at the same time.”

“C’mon, let’s go shower.” Liam definitely needed one as well, he felt kinda gross too, but also really satisfied and as if he couldn’t physically let go of Niall ever again.

He also had a hard time now not staring at him when they both got out of bed and he pulled Niall up, only letting go of his hand when he thought it was getting weird. God, just a while ago Liam had been terrified about Niall forgetting his pill, but it seemed it was all good and they got to experience his heat together, on a bloody weekend, so why would Liam have complained about anything at all?!

Niall insisted that they turn the water as cold as they could both stand once they were in the shower together, and Liam had to admit that it felt kinda good because his body definitely felt overheated as well. He would have to wash the sheets too, but he honestly didn’t know if it would have made much sense to do this now when Niall would still be in heat for… a while?

“Okay, we can turn it warmer now.” The younger decided after a while, so Liam did, already feeling a lot cleaner but kinda not wanting to get out of the shower just yet.

They were standing close to one another, touching the entire time and Liam slowly moved his hand down Niall’s back while looking at him, over his ass and in between his cheeks, just to feel how wet he was, both from the water and the slick his body was producing. Niall kept staring at his lips, his half hard erection pressed against Liam’s, and so was his stomach and it was almost driving Liam insane. 

“You smell so fucking good.” Liam just had to tell him, right before he leaned down a bit to kiss Niall underneath the water, still slowly fingering him at the same time.

It was obvious that Niall’s heat was building again just a couple moments later, and Liam wondered if he was going through it even more intensely than he would have had he not suppressed it for so many years. All Liam knew was that he absolutely loved it, the whining and how close Niall wanted to be to him, the fact that they couldn’t get enough of each other.

Niall whined when Liam stopped kissing him, pressing a brief kiss to his check before slowly turning him around, so that the younger man was facing the shower wall instead. Liam kept an arm around him to keep him close, so that his ass was directly against Liam’s dick. Normally Liam felt weird whenever he touched Niall’s stomach after sex, but this time he didn’t, he kissed along Niall’s wet shoulder as he rubbed his hands over his swollen belly, pressing down just to get a sound out of Niall.

“Liam… “ Niall half whispered as he let his head fall back on Liam’s shoulder, breathing heavily. “I feel so fucking full… “

“Yeah?” Liam asked, his dick twitching in interest when Niall pressed back against him. “How’s it feel like?”

“Weird, but… it feels kinda good… and I- _ah_ … “ He let out a quiet moan when Liam started to rub his skin close to his pubic area, his other hand still on Niall’s stomach. “It’s- I like the way it stick out so much, it’s really hot to think about why… “

“I think so too… “ Liam whispered back, very slowly grabbing a hold of Niall’s erection, barely moving his fist though, his lips still attached to the side of Niall’s neck.

The older man moved his free hand all over Niall’s body while wanking him, pinching and rubbing his nipples before going back to paying attention to his stomach again while Niall was moaning loudly, thrusting his ass back against Liam’s crotch, almost putting all of his weight on him.

“I was really worried about you today… I’m so glad you’re okay and that it’s the weekend… it’s so fucking hot, Niall… “ The words were just falling out of Liam’s mouth and Niall moaned in response when Liam reached around with his free hand, rubbing the head of his erection against Niall’s gaping hold, just teasing, not really pushing in, and Niall seemed torn between thrust into his hand or back on his dick. “Do you want it?”

“Yeah… so bad… Liam… “ Niall was sighing between words, feeling heavy against the older man.

“How much?” Liam kept pushing, his possessive streak coming through again, but it was all just so overwhelming that he couldn’t help it.

“So much, Liam- ah- you have no idea… I want you so bad, _please_ fuck me, ‘m gonna be so good, I promise, just please… “ Niall’s words caused goosebumps to rise on Liam’s skin, he was still teasing but that was quickly over when Niall said something else, sounding as if he was crying. “ _Please, daddy_ … “

So obviously that was IT, and Liam thrust inside of him a moment later, fucking Niall hard against the shower wall while the younger man was screaming from pleasure, coming twice before Liam did, and luckily they weren’t stuck together in this position because Niall’s stomach was already filled.

Afterwards, Liam felt exhausted but he still managed to hold Niall up because the younger man looked close to passing out. They kissed only briefly, over Niall’s shoulder and Liam half carried him out of the shower, making sure to dry both of them off and then simply carrying Niall back to his bedroom with no complaints from the younger man.

They didn’t talk about it, about what Niall had called him, but Liam also had no intention to, he just knew it had turned him on incredibly much. Niall’s stomach was straining a bit against the shirt he borrowed later when they were able to get dressed after just lying on the bed, and Liam tried not to stare too much, but he still did.

For now, it seemed Niall’s was satisfied, but his scent was still intense and Liam could barely keep his hands off of him.

“How was it at work today?” Niall asked out of nowhere, completely randomly, and Liam almost had to laugh. They were in the kitchen now, because Liam had insisted that Niall needed to eat, but the younger man was already done. 

“Alright… stressful. I had a lot to discuss with Zayn. But he’s a really big help, I feel much better about it now.” Or maybe that was because he had just fucked Niall two times in a row. “I’m glad I asked him.”

“Me too… I wish I could help you, but… I’m just happy you’re feeling better and that it’s going well.” His smile was weak, probably because he still felt exhausted. 

“You are helping me, Niall, just with listening and giving advice and doing so much work. Thank you.” Liam truly meant it, and he couldn’t help but reach out for Niall’s hand on the kitchen isle, smiling at him before letting go yet again.

“You don’t have to thank me, I- oh.” Niall broke off in the middle of his sentence, kind of looking surprised, then he suddenly looked stressed out, rubbing his hands over his face.

“It’s building again, isn’t it?” Liam asked, rubbing his palm up and down Niall’s back for a bit. 

“Yeah, and- it’s alright, I’m just afraid I’m leaking in your joggers now, as stupid as that sounds.” He let out a laugh, and Liam would have done the same, but he was honestly turned on by it all.

“Take them off then.” He simply suggested, not being able to help the smirk when Niall pulled up an eyebrow. “I’ve got an idea. Do you trust me?”

“I mean- yeah.” Niall licked his lips, hesitating for a moment before he got up, his face flushed as he simply took off Liam’s pants, and Liam came over, kissing him briefly and crowding Niall against the kitchen isle before lifting him up on it. “Liam, my ass is directly on your-“

“Shhh, I know. We can clean it.” He simply told Niall, kissing him some more while standing between his legs. “Lie down.”

“Are you- okay.” The younger man looked really excited as he did and Liam smirked, pushing up Niall’s shirt over his stomach just so he could see it again, before grabbing a hold of his legs, his erection already at full stand again. “Liam, what are you- _Jesus Christ_ … “

He covered his eyes with his arm as Liam pushed up his thighs against his stomach and chest, his leaking hole now fully exposed and the younger man just whined when Liam blew on it, his words clearly getting stuck in his throat when Liam buried his face in between his ass cheeks, eating him out right on his kitchen isle.

Niall’s moans were even louder than before as Liam pushed his tongue inside of him, having to hold him tightly because the younger man was squirming so much, no real words coming out of his words anymore. When he started to beg for Liam’s knot again, in between tears and sobs, Liam took him to the couch so Niall could ride his dick.

They fucked two more times that night afterwards, and they had to sleep in the guest room because everything else was kinda gross, and Niall fell asleep on Liam’s chest, probably from exhaustion. 

As much as Liam should have been worried about various things, it was actually the very first night in a while that he felt nothing at all except pure happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone :)
> 
> i hope you liked this chapter!!! i was a bit stressed out writing it because my professor thought a 7 hour zoom session on a saturday is a great idea haha rip. anyways, please let me know!!! im super excited for what is to come soon (as in, next chapter soon ;) ) !! 
> 
> i hope you all had a great week and that the next one will be great too! mine probably wont be because i am FINALLY going to the dentist on thursday, and i am terrified haha


	10. Chapter 10

Liam woke up feeling hot underneath the covers, and he could feel somebody all up in his space, warmth against his neck, and it took a couple seconds for him to fully come awake. 

“Niall…? What’re you doin’?” Liam was still half asleep as he mumbled, struggling to blink his eyes open and come to himself, not really knowing what was going on just yet.

“Nothing… “ The younger man whispered hotly against Liam’s neck, but he didn’t stop pressing his lips against the older man’s skin, half lying on top of him and Liam automatically wrapped him up in his arms. “You smell so good… “

Last night was coming back into his mind while Niall was busy being all over him, showering him in kisses, and Liam couldn’t help the warmth forming in his stomach, that feeling of bliss and happiness spreading throughout his entire body. He could smell that Niall was still in heat, it seemed the younger man was everywhere at once, and Liam couldn’t really be blamed for not being able to resist him for very long.

It was dark in the room, but he managed to somehow find Niall’s lips with his own to kiss him lazily, hearing rain hammering against the window as Niall let himself fall back a bit so they were both on their sides. The kiss started out slow, but it turned deeper very quickly when Niall whined, pushing his tongue past Liam’s lips and inside his mouth, one of his legs moving between the older man’s as he pressed himself closer.

He was already hard again, and Liam felt a bit bad for him thinking about how he had maybe been lying awake waiting for him to wake up. Then again, it didn’t seem as if he had really waited, more as if he had just thrown himself on Liam the moment he had woken up and started to kiss his neck.

Niall whined when Liam pushed a hand between them, loosely wrapping his fingers around Niall’s erection because they were both still naked anyways, allowing the younger man to thrust into his fist as he wanked him slowly while snogging him.

He knew Niall was already close after a couple seconds when he tightened his grip in Liam’s hair, clinging to him more desperately, the kiss becoming even messier and his breathing getting heavy right before his body jerked and he came over Liam’s hand. 

“Shit… “ The younger man whined after breaking the kiss, and Liam felt his breath against his skin because they were still so close.

“Hm?” Liam made, not sure what was going on, kissing down Niall’s cheek and jaw, just because he didn’t wanna pull back just yet, his hand still wrapped around the other man’s dick.

“It was too fast… “ Niall complained, and Liam almost had to laugh at that complaint, but he knew it wasn’t exactly comfortable for Omegas to be in heat and not get off properly, and he could feel that Niall was still hard after his orgasm. 

“Lie on your back.” Liam ordered, kissing the corner of Niall’s mouth before rolling around, under the younger man’s protest.

“Liam… what’re you doing?” Niall whined and Liam smiled to himself as he rolled out of bed to open the blinds and let some light into the room, even though it momentarily hurt his eyes a bit. It was a rainy day, the sky completely grey, and honestly, he couldn’t have thought of a better way to spend the weekend. “Come back… “

“I’m right here.” The older man laughed, throwing another look out of the window before turning back around. 

Niall had pushed off the blanket completely, probably because he was so overheated, and his skin was flushed as he had a hand wrapped around his erection, stroking himself as he waited for Liam to come back.

“You’re such a naughty boy.” The older man teased him, but he couldn’t help the grin on his face as he crawled back in bed, watching Niall’s hand moving over himself, spreading the precum, his face all red and scrunched up. “Keep going… “

“Ugh… “ Niall made, clearly frustrated when Liam simply lied down next to him, moving his arm underneath Niall’s head so he could watch him wanking himself, not really helping him to get off except for occasionally kissing his neck, and slowly rubbing his palm over his exposed upper body. 

“You should see yourself… “ It kinda slipped out, Liam couldn’t hold back and he also wasn’t really using his brain right now, just watching Niall touching himself, but also just staring at his face, taking him in. He had only been awake for a couple minutes and they had already gotten to this point, but Liam didn’t even care anymore. “You’re beautiful… “

“ _Liam_ … “ Niall let out a whine at that, slowly blinking his eyes open so they could look at each other and Liam should have maybe regretted what he had said, but he really did not. “Kiss me… please… “

He didn’t have to ask twice, Liam leaned down to connect their lips immediately, replacing Niall’s hand with his own as he licked inside the younger man’s mouth, not really moving his fist but rather focusing on the kiss right now. 

Niall was clinging to him for his dear life again, arms tightly around Liam’s neck as if he was afraid the older man would have moved away had he let go, as if Liam could have physically separated himself from him in the near future.

He pushed Niall’s leg to the side after a while, pressing his thigh against the mattress to make space for himself between the younger man’s legs. It hadn’t taken much for Liam to get hard, he felt the slick dripping out of Niall’s body when he got near his hole, almost having to break the kiss to guide himself inside the younger man, filling him up with a single push, the glide so easy and good that both of them moaned.

“Niall… “ Liam whispered with no real purpose, pecking Niall’s lips again, and then his cheek and the other one, barely moving inside of him, simply taking in the feeling of being inside of him. He was so tight, and hot, pressing all around Liam, his body clenching, limiting Liam’s movements a bit but it was so bloody hot, he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. “You’re so good, babe… so fucking good… just for me, yeah?”

“Just for you… “ Niall half moaned, his back arching when Liam sped up his thrusts just a bit. “ _Harder_ … please… need your knot… _daddy_ … “

So Liam did him the favor upon hearing that last word, but he was still dragging it out more than usually, not wanting it to be over too soon, especially now. The daddy thing definitely sent goosebumps down Liam’s spine each time, and he didn’t really feel a need to ask Niall about it, they mutually and silently agreed that it was hot. They weren’t kissing anymore, Liam wanted to watch Niall’s face while he was fucking into him, wanted to see the pleasure he was causing him, the words falling out of his mouth because of how good Liam was making him feel.

Liam was holding him close while fucking him, getting him deep and slowing down whenever he was pushing his knot past Niall’s rim, making the younger man moan ever louder than before. His fingernails were scratching Liam’s biceps, eyes pressed shut and sweat forming on his skin, his mouth hanging open until Liam took the chance and licked back into his mouth.

He felt Niall’s erection sandwiched between their bodies, and it only took a couple jerks for Niall to come yet again, harder this time, and longer, and Liam made sure to pull back once more so he could watch him going through it as he kept fucking him. 

Niall clenching around him and coming on their skin was a bit too much for Liam, but it still didn’t compare to Niall’s fingers suddenly moving down as well as soon as he had come down from his high, feeling where Liam was pushing into his body, fingers ghosting over his knot.

“ _Fuck, Ni_ … “ Liam moaned, letting his forehead fall against Niall’s as he grunted, screwing his fully expanded knot one more time inside the younger man as he came inside of him.

It felt so bloody good, and knowing he was filling Niall up with steady pulses only intensified the feelings, the younger man’s fingers still against Liam’s skin as Liam rode out his orgasm, barely being able to hold his weight up on his arms anymore. 

“Are you… are you feeling better now?” Was the first thing Liam asked as he came down from it, his body feeling like jelly so he let himself collapse on top of Niall.

“Yeah… thank you… “ Niall whispered back, wrapping his arms tightly around Liam’s neck to keep him close and they stayed like this for quite a while. Not that they could have moved anyways because of Liam’s knot still stuck inside the younger man, but Liam wouldn’t have wanted to either way.

God, he never wanted to leave this bed ever again.

After Liam had pulled out of Niall, he still felt a bit exhausted just lying next to him on his back, having put the blanket back over them because they were all sweaty and in all honesty, it kinda wasn’t so hot in here anymore now that Niall was satisfied. At least for the moment being.

“Do you think… do you think I should continue to take these pills? Or should I go back to-“

“No, don’t go back to your old ones.” Liam quickly interrupted, moving his head to look at the side of Niall’s face, quick to correct himself though. “Unless you want to, of course, I can understand if you don’t wanna go through your heat every month, it must be uncomfortable and-“

“It’s not. Not when I have you.” Niall told him with a shrug, and Liam suddenly felt his stomach growing warmer again. Speaking of… 

“Yeah?” Liam asked, hopeful, inching a bit closer to Niall again even though they barely had any distance between them anyways, reaching out underneath the blanket until his fingers were brushing against the strained skin of Niall’s stomach.

“Yeah… “ The younger man mumbled, letting his eyes fall closed, so Liam took that as a sign that he was good to go ahead. 

He didn’t fucking know what it was, what his obsession was with feeling Niall’s stomach after filling him up, but Liam blamed it on his instincts, on the fact that he was getting all possessive whenever they fucked, and especially now that Niall was in heat. It’s just… fuck, Liam had no idea what to even think anymore, but he also didn’t care in the moment, because Niall obviously had no objections whatsoever. Quite the opposite actually.

They were just lying there for a while, until Niall turned to his side and Liam caught his lips in another kiss, wrapping him up in his arms underneath the blanket to keep him close. This time, there was no urgency to it all, they weren’t desperate to get off and it seemed Niall felt fine for now so it really was just them making out, slowly, taking their time because they had all the time in the world anyways.

If Liam would get to spend a few days each month like this, he would absolutely not complain ever again. He didn’t care if that meant they both couldn’t go to work for that time, honestly, he kinda felt slightly excited about it. Things in the firm were about to change anyways, with Zayn’s help, and Liam kinda felt himself changing too.

Not at all in a negative way though, and he knew Niall was mostly responsible for that, and he might not have even known.

\------------------------

“Sorry you have to wash all this because of me.” Niall wasn’t actually sorry, he also hadn’t really helped Liam strip the beds and put the sheets in the washing machine, although he had innocently reminded him that he was about to turn on the wrong program. Judging by the blush creeping into Liam’s face, it hadn’t been an accident. “What’re we gonna sleep in tonight if it doesn’t dry in time?”

“I don’t know… I’ll buy new sheets.” Liam was still busy trying to get the washing machine to work and Niall watched him while laughing, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. 

“You’re so rich.” He told the older man, and it was true, but also kinda funny.

Niall was in a great mood, better than in a long time, actually. He wasn’t horny right now, still satisfied from when Liam had fucked him again after breakfast an hour ago, and then they had both pretended to get some work done on their laptops until Liam had remembered that he needed to wash the sheets because they were full of… all kinds of bodily fluids.

Since Sunday, Niall had been stressed out. First about forgetting his pills, then about going to the doctor, then when he had panicked he wouldn’t get his heat ever again, that he was possibly pregnant, and he had been about to tell Liam the entire truth after his talk with Josie that had hit a bit too close to home, but then of course… yesterday had happened.

And honestly, Niall could definitely get used to it. It wasn’t anything like it had been when he had been a teenager, as far as he could still remember it, because this right here… it was bloody amazing. And Niall felt like he should have felt overly sensitive and sore right now, but of course he knew his body was practically made for it and it seemed he would never run out of energy.

Hopefully Liam felt the same until this was over.

“Alright… I think it’s working.” He sounded really proud of it too as he stood up fully and Niall had to bite the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t have to laugh at him. 

“Are you sure?” Niall teased, grinning when Liam threw a look at him, rolling his eyes. “I thought you said you know how to use a washing machine last week.”

“Obviously I know how to use one, it’s working, isn’t it?” Liam sounded just a bit annoyed, so Niall decided to keep his mouth shut for now, stretching his hand out to get the older man to help him get up as well. Not like he couldn’t have done it himself, he just wanted to hold Liam’s hand for a moment.

Even if he had to let go again a second later. 

Yeah, they had kissed and touched a lot without Niall needing it because of his heat, but it didn’t mean he felt like he could just do whatever he wanted now, after all, they weren’t like… dating or whatever. And maybe all these urges were just intensified anyways because Niall was in heat, right?

Well, he had felt that way a couple times before as well, but… Niall had never explored it in depth, hadn’t felt a need to. Yeah, he liked Liam a lot, but the situation and their relationship was messy, and after all, they had only known each other for 10 weeks or something.

“What are we gonna do now?” Niall asked as they walked out of the bathroom and Liam turned off the lights on their way. “I think I’m gonna be good for a while, I mean, if you really wanted to then we could still-“

“I think I could use a little break anyways.” The older man interrupted a bit too quickly and Niall laughed, petting his back in sympathy. He knew his heat had effects on Liam as well, as much as it would have on every Alpha near him, but because they weren’t bonded or anything, it was natural that their connection didn’t go as deep as it could have potentially. Meaning in short that Liam would obviously get tired after a while even when Niall didn’t. “We could, um… watch a movie or something.”

“You watch movies?” Niall pretended to be shocked even though he was a little bit inside, just didn’t wanna say it out loud. “  
Wait- I think Zayn told me that. When I started to work at your firm and he told me to look for scripts about some fantasy stuff because he said you’re into that but that he has no idea when you take time to read or watch movies.”

“I don’t usually.” Liam shrugged, and Niall felt a bit bad about having joked about it even though it seemed that the older man didn’t care too much anyways. “If you don’t want to-“

“I want to. You can pick one.” Niall told him quickly, a little bit because he was interested to see what Liam would decide on, what he liked. He felt like he knew a lot about Liam, but not really about the things he liked, if… if there were even things he liked besides work.

Then again, lately Niall was getting the feeling that Liam wasn’t naturally a workaholic, that the way his life and family situation were just hadn’t left him more options and that he had simply gotten used to it.

He DID settle on fantasy stuff, and Niall didn’t mind at all, he would have been good with absolutely anything, because the truth was, he was just happy he got to spend another weekend with Liam, get to know him better by asking one question after the other.

And the very best part was, there were 100 excuses to touch Liam whenever Niall could feel his heat building throughout the day and he didn’t have to be embarrassed about basically hopping right back on Liam’s lap to let him fuck him again while the movie was still playing in the background.

Best weekend ever, thanks to Niall being a forgetful idiot.

\-------------------------

“I think this is great.” Zayn kept telling Liam as the other man shared his concerns with some of the employees with him, which honestly, was kind of worrying.

“You think it’s great three of the graphic designers thought about quitting because one of them slept with somebody’s husband and-“

“No, no, I think it’s great they told you about it.” Great, well, Liam didn’t share that view. At all. “I feel like this is working. You know, last week, somebody came to me and told me they’re glad you were taking their concerns seriously and that you took part in that meeting they scheduled.”

“It was awful.” Liam told him truthfully. “I mean, I’m glad that people are starting to think I care, and I do, it’s just… a bit overwhelming at times, and… I don’t know if I was prepared for that. It’s… a bit personal sometimes. Like that affaire thing, I didn’t need that many details.”

“But it means they trust you, and that they’re gonna wanna stay if you take their problems serious and help solve them. And it’s good you fired that one guy, he really was a lazy piece of shit and ever since he’s left, it doesn’t seem like any work has gotten left behind. He probably just slept at his desk all day.” And Liam had paid him for it, for god knows how long, so he really couldn’t laugh along with his friend right now. “Why are you so grumpy? This is what you wanted.”

“This is what _you_ wanted.” Liam reminded Zayn, but he quickly continued when the other man opened his mouth. “And I know it was for my good, or the good of the firm, more like, and I really appreciate everything you’ve done, and how much you helped me. I know I made a lot of mistakes and that I needed to change… but I’m not sure if I want to know my employees on such a personal level.”

“Too late for that.” Zayn shrugged, leaning back in his chair and Liam had nothing else to do besides pull a face and suck it up. He should have been ecstatic, and maybe he would have been had this happened months ago. “I mean, you know me on a really personal level as well and we can still work well together.”

“I’ve known you for ages, that’s different. We’re friends, I’m not gonna become friends with my entire firm.” That would’ve just been insane, and also impossible, there were just too many people Liam despised but had hired for their good work. He knew the feeling was mutual, so his newly found attempts at communicating more excluded those few people. 

“You’ve become friends with Niall.” Zayn just HAD had to say it, hadn’t he? And of course Liam’s body had to betray him once again as his face turned red.

“Hmm… so?” Liam tried to play it cool, as if he hadn’t done anything except think of Niall all day long.  
Niall wasn’t at work today, he had jumped in to babysit Clara because she was sick and her parents had appointments or work or whatever. Actually, Liam had no idea what kinda work Styles had to do except finally finish that book (which should’ve already been done, but he was pregnant and also Niall’s friend, so Liam kept pushing the deadline back) but maybe he had side businesses, who even knew? Either way, it meant Niall wasn’t here, and of course Liam had given him the day off when the younger man had asked, and he would pay him for it too.

No one had to know about it.

“I’m just saying, he’s also an employee. And you’ve not known him for _that_ long but you don’t regret getting to know him on a more personal level, right?” Wait, what?

“What do you mean on a personal level? We work together.” Liam tried to save himself by letting out a laugh, as if Zayn implying whatever he was implying was absolutely ridiculous. And not the complete truth. God… if Zayn had known… “Also, what has that got to do with anything? I’m not going to befriend my entire firm.”

“That’s not even what I was trying to say.” Zayn defended himself and Liam rolled his eyes, kinda not feeling like asking what he had meant, so they fell into silence.

They were in Liam’s office, because Liam had made excuses as to why Zayn needed to stay and help him, simply because he couldn’t be alone anymore it seemed. Or maybe also because he didn’t wanna sit here all day and text Niall and not get any work done and then regret it the next day. Maybe he wouldn’t have even regretted it, actually, he had gotten a lot less done than usual for weeks now and he couldn’t have cared less.

“So… “ Zayn started again when Liam had simply gone over to typing on his laptop and answer some emails, just to have something to do and not sit around here completely uselessly. Sure, he also answered a message Niall had sent him, but why not, it only took a few seconds. “… where is Niall, actually?”

“He took a day off, I told you.” Liam rolled his eyes at that, not really wanting to talk about it.

“To do what?” The other man kept pushing, and yeah, it was a little bit of a valid question.

“I don’t know.” Liam simply lied, he could have told Zayn the truth because it wouldn’t have mattered, but he really didn’t feel like it. “Why do you care? Do you also wanna take a day off?”

“No. I just thought it was really strange because he’s never taken a day off, he’s never even been sick once and he’s always so eager to work late and-“

“One of Styles’ daughters is sick and Niall is watching her.” This conversation was getting too complicated for Liam, so he just said it straight out.

“Oh.” Zayn made, clearly surprised for a moment, and then even more a second later. “… and you gave him a day off for that?”

“Yeah? He can use his days off whenever he wants to. So can you. In fact, so can anyone working here.” It was true, why were they discussing this?

“Why are you getting so defensive?” Good question, maybe because Liam wished Niall was here instead and he hated himself for it?

“I’m not, I just wanna work and not talk about who is getting days off and for what. It doesn’t even matter.” Liam half snapped, typing a bit more aggressively now, but at least that made Zayn shut up.

For a two seconds.

“You know, if I were anybody else I would have long started to ask even more questions about the kinda friendship you and Niall seem to have, but I know you well enough to know you would just start yelling at me and deny everything.” Great, now Zayn was angry too.

“You are already constantly asking questions.” Liam reminded him because it was true. Each day, Zayn would at least make one stupid comment and give Liam half a heart attack thinking he had figured it all out. 

He knew Zayn would find out, one way or another, but Liam kinda wanted to drag it out for as long as somehow possible. Even if that would only make things worse. Maybe he should have just finally talked to Niall about it all, but things between them were going great and Liam was afraid to scare the younger man off by making it look like he wanted more than just what they were doing.

Maybe he did, but… it didn’t really matter right now, it was good the way it was.

“I wouldn’t have to if you finally gave me normal answers.” Zayn argued, and yeah, he was right, AGAIN, but Liam wouldn’t and also couldn’t tell him the truth. Not now anyways.

“Why do you even care so much?” Seriously? 

“Because you’re my best friend? And this situation, it seems… a bit suspicious.” He was closely watching Liam’s face, Liam was aware of it, but he pretended not to be.

“If that’s what you wanna believe.” Liam let out a forced laugh, but on the inside, he was panicking. 

“Just looking out for you. I’d be happy for you if there is anything going on or… you know. Whatever. I wouldn’t judge you. In fact-“

“Zayn, please. Nothing is going on, okay? I get along well with Niall. As work colleagues.” It felt wrong to say that, but now it was already out, even if Liam felt guilty for lying so blatantly.

“If you say so.” The other man shrugged, FINALLY opening his own laptop again. “I think he really likes you a lot.”

“Okay.” Liam rolled his eyes, resisting the urge to ask more questions about it like he really, really wanted to. Had Niall talked to Zayn about him? He wouldn’t have, right? But what if… no, Liam didn’t even dare to think so far, if Niall would have wanted to deepen their relationship, he wouldn’t have told Zayn about it, out of all people.

He would have told Liam, right? And Liam wasn’t hoping that would happen or anything, it was just on his mind. Sometimes.

“So you don’t care?” Zayn was teasing him now and Liam knew it, so he decided to just play it cool and shrug, as if this conversation wasn’t even worth his time. 

“Does it look like it?” Liam gave up, writing nonsense on his laptop now, just to pretend that he was busy. He would just delete that document after. “Seriously, can we work now, or… ?”

“We’re working the entire time. I just thought maybe you wanted to know what Niall said to me the other day, but okay.” Wait….

“… what did he say?” Liam was now truly panicking, and he was a little bit excited as well as he finally looked at Zayn once more, probably looking way too over eager.

The other man just stared at him, blinking a few times, as if he just wanted to take in Liam’s face, and then he shrugged. “He said he’s really glad he’s got this job. Why, what were you thinking?”

God DAMN it, Zayn had played him, he had just wanted to see Liam’s reaction, and the other man couldn’t even get openly upset. “Nothing. I need the bathroom.”

“Okay, but don’t take too long, we’ve got stuff to get done.” He said it in a really sarcastic way, mocking Liam, and he had every reason to anyways.

At least when Liam would finally tell him the truth, it wouldn’t come as a surprise to Zayn. Just the extent of it all, probably.

\--------------------------

“Hi… everything okay?” When Harry came home, he immediately started to whisper as he saw that Clara was fast asleep on Niall’s lap, wrapped up in blankets while Niall was trying to stay as still as possible as to not wake her. Not that he thought anything could have woken her. 

“Yeah, it’s all good. She’s been asleep for an hour or so… “ She had felt awful before that, the entire day in fact, and Niall had felt so bad for her, having done absolutely everything she had wanted just to make her happy.

“… have you been crying?” Harry asked as he came closer, and Niall almost wiped at his eyes, but then he didn’t because he had to hold Clara.

“I didn’t know these kids’ movies are so sad.” It was true, Niall had bawled his eyes out before, and luckily Clara hadn’t paid attention and had then quickly fallen asleep. 

“What did you watch?” The other man was clearly suppressing a laugh, talking quietly but not whispering anymore because they both knew the girl was a deep sleeper anyways.

“Just Bambi. It’s awful, I’m glad Clara slept through it.” Seriously.

“They’ve seen it a hundred times.” Now Harry did laugh for a moment, but then he shrugged as he sat down next to Niall. “I guess it is a bit sad.”

“A bit? It’s terrible.” Niall insisted and his friend just grinned, picking up his cat as it came running from the other room because she must have heard him. Harry was truly the only one this cat wanted to be around. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. You? I wouldn’t want Clara to have gotten you sick, thank you for watching her, really. I tried to get out of this yoga class, but I had no one to fill in for me and I couldn’t move my doctor’s appointment and Louis-“

“Haz, it’s fine, don’t worry. I don’t think she’s gotten me sick, and we just played and she drew something and then I put in a movie when she got tired. Did you get any new pictures?” Niall knew Harry had just been to get an ultrasound, and that Louis must have used a break at work to be there as well, because they always went together. 

“A few, wait, I gotta look for them.” So Harry started to go through his bag and then proceeded to show Niall all the pictures he had gotten to take home and no idea why, but it got Niall emotional. “And this one- Are you crying again?”

“Yeah, sorry, I- I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s just… I’m really happy for you.” Indeed, Niall felt so happy he couldn’t even keep it together for a moment while Harry seemed to struggle not knowing if he should have been touched by it or concerned, so he simply smiled briefly. “Just keep going.”

“Okay, I- they said they might be able to tell us the gender next time, but I’m not sure if I wanna know.” He shrugged, looking at the pictures himself with a smile on his face and it only made Niall wanna cry more, but he kept it together.

“Why not? Have you got names picked out yet?” Niall had been meaning to ask that a couple times, but they hadn’t seen each other a lot since he had moved out a couple weeks ago.

“A few, yeah. But it’s like… I don’t think I wanna know because it doesn’t really matter, does it? As long as it’s healthy.” He quickly carried on though, when Niall opened his mouth. “It is healthy, no worries, everything’s going great. Please don’t cry again.”

“I’m not.” Just on the inside. “Have you heard anything about the contract for the new apartment?”

So they talked about that for a bit, and then other stuff, and Niall didn’t even notice Clara waking up until she started to move in his arms, rubbing her eyes a bit in confusion before looking straight at Harry. “… daddy… “

“C’mere princess…how are you feeling, hm? Did you have fun with uncle Niall?” Harry lifted his daughter out of Niall’s arms into his own, letting her sit on his lap as she snuggled up to him and he made sure she was still wrapped up in the blanket. 

“Yeah… daddy do you have new pictures of the baby?” She asked after a moment, so Harry showed them to her as well, explaining where which body part was or would be while Niall just watched them, again overcome with another wave of emotions.

He excused himself to the bathroom after a few minutes, one because he had needed it for a while, and two, because he didn’t want Harry questioning why he was crying again. No idea what it was, Niall kinda had a feeling he was going into heat again and that it was messing a bit with his body.

Around three weeks had passed since the last time, so even though it would’ve been a bit soon, it definitely wasn’t impossible after he had suppressed it for so long. Maybe that could also explain why Niall was missing Liam a bit more than usually, but that could have also stemmed from the fact that he hadn’t seen him all day.

So Niall also used his time in the bathroom to triple text him before going back out, because why the hell not? 

He stayed for a little while longer, but now that Harry was home, there really was no need to anymore, and Niall even thought of going to work even though Liam had given him the entire day off, but then he just went home instead because the older man hadn’t texted him back yet anyways. 

It bothered Niall a bit more than he would have liked to admit. 

\-----------------------

When Niall woke up from an accidental nap because his phone was going off, he was first of all really confused because it was now dark inside his flat, but he barely had time to think about that as he blindly searched for his phone, not even checking the screen as he picked up because he was so sure it was Liam.

“Hi, sorry, I fell asleep and-“

“Niall?” Wait… this wasn’t Liam.

“I… “ Niall started, immediately having sat up, his heart bumping really fast as he barely dared to take the phone away from his ear, the light blinding him as he read what was on the screen. _Mom_. Shit. “Umm… yes?”

“I can’t believe you really answered your phone.” She sounded genuinely surprised, and so was Niall, but almost immediately, he started to feel sick to his stomach as well. “You’ve been ignoring my calls for months.”

“I- I know.” He had done it on purpose after all, and Niall almost apologized before he realized he wasn’t sorry. Not at all. “I thought you were someone else.”

“That’s why you picked up?” Her voice sounded colder now, and yeah, Niall shouldn’t have said that, but it was too late. And it was the truth anyways.

“How are you?” Niall asked instead, having to clear his throat, feeling the urge to just hang up immediately and block her number like he had done many times in the past.

“I’m good. So is your father.” Great. “And you?”

“Me too.” Niall didn’t wanna tell her anything else about himself, he didn’t even wanna tell her where he lived now.

“Good. That’s- great.” She couldn’t have cared less. “Do you have a job?”

“Yeah.” At least that wasn’t a lie.

“I stopped by at this restaurant you used to work at, asked about you… they said you haven’t been working there for a long time.” A wonder they had even still remembered Niall.

“Yeah, I work somewhere else now.” Niall explained, and then, just because he could sense she didn’t believe him, he just HAD to continue. “I’ve got my own place now as well, so… I’m doing great.”

“Oh really? That’s nice to hear.” Too bad, now she couldn’t call up the rest of the family to tell them about his failures. “Did you move to another city?”

“Yeah… but ages ago already.” Niall shrugged to himself, blankly staring out of the window from where he was sitting on his bed, at the building opposite his, a few lights turned on there. How late even was it? “Why?”

“Just wondering. Your father and I have been worried about you.” A lie. “I thought maybe you got a new number or something happened… “

“No, I’m good.” _So please end the conversation now that you know._ “Actually, I have to-“

“Are you still friends with Harry?” His mother ignored his attempts to end the conversation, so Niall simply told her yes, and then answered a couple more pointless questions that seemed like a waste of time. Because they were. “You know… your father would also really like to speak to you.”

“I actually- I don’t really have any time, I’m meeting with a friend soon.” Niall lied, but then again, not really. He wasn’t planning on spending the night here by himself, no matter how late it actually was. 

“Are you going to pick up the phone again the next time I call you?” His mother asked, well knowing that Niall probably would not.

“Sure.” He lied, clearing his throat, and then he made sure to end the conversation as quickly as somehow possible, simply hanging up even though his mother had been about to say something else after saying goodbye.

A few moments passed of Niall just sitting there, staring at nothing at all, reliving a couple memories that he hadn’t been thinking about in months, which were literally making him sick to his stomach. And the next thing Niall knew, he was puking out his guts into his toilet for a few minutes straight.

\------------------------------

Liam didn’t notice anything wrong with Niall when he went to pick him up after the younger man had called him to tell him he had accidentally ignored him for 4 hours because he had fallen asleep. Obviously Liam believed him, he was just happy Niall was alright and wanted to sleep over, that he half fell into the driver’s seat upon getting into the car because he was so eager to kiss Liam.

Not really a normal thing for them to do, but a little bit more normal ever since they had gone through Niall’s heat together.

Liam ordered them some dinner and they ate while Niall told him about Clara and Harry’s ultrasound pictures, asking how it had been at work, and Liam almost told him about his conversation with Zayn, but then he didn’t. 

They’d have to talk about a lot of things eventually, but Liam was a little bit afraid of ruining it all, because maybe he was the only one having these thoughts, maybe Niall had never even considered the possibility that maybe, just maybe, one day, they could, like… like take it further. Possibly.

Now was really not the time to discuss this. 

They did have sex before going to sleep, and Liam had to admit he was a bit worn out from today so he fell asleep rather quickly, just happy that Niall was here like most nights now, that things had gone semi-alright at work, and besides Zayn asking questions… things were actually pretty good right now.

Or so he thought.

Liam woke up randomly in the middle of the night, at first no really knowing why, but upon blindly petting the sheets to find Niall and pull him closer, he eventually realized that the younger man was gone.

“Niall?” There was no answer to that, so Liam was forced to flick on the lights, now fully coming awake as he looked around, the bathroom door also wide open but empty and dark, so he wasn’t in there.

A little bit of panic rose inside of Liam when he saw Niall’s phone also wasn’t on the other bedside table anymore, but then again, his clothes were still scattered on the floor and he must have borrowed some of Liam’s because he had left the closet open too. Where the hell had he gone? He couldn’t have left the house, could he?

Liam pulled on some sweatpants, his tiredness forgotten as he left the room, immediately deciding to go downstairs, relief spreading through him when he saw that the lights were turned on in the kitchen and living room area. 

He didn’t see Niall sitting on the couch right away, in front of a muted TV, but once he did, Liam felt the knot in his chest loosening immediately. At the same time, his confusion only grew.

“Niall? What’re you doing?” Liam walked over slowly, not really knowing how to behave when Niall didn’t even react immediately, simply shrugging as he stared at his hands when Liam sat on the other side of the couch. He was keeping his distance, because it didn’t seem as if Niall would have wanted to be close right now for some reason. “Can’t you sleep?”

“No… “ He had taken the blanket that was usually hanging over the back of the couch, and now that Liam was studying his face, he honestly didn’t look so good. 

“Are you… okay?” It didn’t seem like it, and Liam had to admit he was slightly overwhelmed with the situation. Niall wasn’t usually quiet and, well, usually he didn’t look as if he wanted Liam to shut the hell up and leave him alone. In his own house. “Did anything happen? Or did Clara get you sick? Maybe-“

“No. She didn’t.” Niall interrupted, and then he sniffed and Liam felt even more worried, and even more helpless. 

Not a surprise, but he wasn’t the greatest at calming people when they cried, mostly because it had barely happened before but also because it was coming out of nowhere. “Niall… “

And then nothing, Liam didn’t know what else to say, he just swallowed hard, staring at the younger man, how he refused to look at him, clearly trying to hold back his tears, his bottom lip moving again, and then he seemed to just give in.

So now Liam was really at a loss of words. 

“Can I- Niall, if you wanna talk about anyth-“

“I don’t.” Niall interrupted him yet again, suddenly sounding angry, as if it was Liam’s fault or something. Wait… maybe it was?

“Did I do anything?” It seemed like it, Liam was already wrecking his brain trying to figure out what it had been and how to fix it, getting just a bit stressed out. 

“No.” The younger man told him, kinda coldly, but before Liam could have felt relieved, he continued, while tears were still silently dripping down his face. “You didn’t do anything… that’s the problem.”

“Wait, what did I-“

“I just-“ He interrupted himself, looking down, sounding more sad than angry as he continued, quietly now. “When we went to bed, I just- after we had sex, I… you just turned around and went to sleep. And it’s fine, but I- I didn’t have the best day and I really wanted to cuddle and- but it’s fine, forget about it.”

“What- no, I won’t. Niall, I… “ What was Liam supposed to say to that? It was true, he had gone to sleep right after, they never cuddled, they had just done it when Niall had been in heat but that had been different and- seriously, what was Liam supposed to say? “I didn’t know you had a bad day, do you- we can talk about it.” 

“No, it’s fine.” Niall shrugged, wiping his tears without looking at the older man and Liam’s heart felt heavier than ever before watching him, letting his words sink in once more.

He would have loved nothing more than to cuddle with Niall, if he had known… “I’m sorry I just went to sleep, I didn’t know anything was wrong.”

“It’s okay, it doesn’t matter, I know we- that we don’t have a relationship like that and- and that you probably don’t wanna cuddle after sex and… I just couldn’t sleep.” Now he seemed to be anything besides angry, just really sad, and again, Liam didn’t know what to say.

So he decided not to say anything at all.

“I know you probably don’t care about me like that, and I don’t wanna get on your nerves with things like that and-“

“Niall, wh- Why would you think that?!” Seriously, what?! “We’ve talked about my problems as well, why would I not care about yours? You’re not getting on my nerves, I wanna know if something’s bothering you. I do care about you, Niall, I- a lot.” 

There was no answer, so Liam took it as in Niall didn’t believe him, because it was probably the truth. He also had no reason to, now that Liam thought about it. Sure, they had talked about serious things, but never like this, not with Niall crying admitting it had hurt him that Liam had simply gone to sleep and not asked him if he was okay.

To Liam’s defense, he had genuinely not noticed anything going on with the younger man, but he still felt more than guilty for it now, so he really only had one choice.

Liam didn’t move closer immediately, he did it slowly, so that Niall could have stopped him had he wanted to, but the younger man just sat there, not really moving at all once Liam was next to him, putting his arm around his shoulder, hugging him. Not too tightly, but to let him know that he was there, and that he did indeed not at all mind if Niall wanted to cuddle.

In fact… Liam would have really enjoyed it as well.

“Niall… what’s going on?” Liam asked after a moment, just squeezing the younger man, relieved when Niall noticeably relaxed, letting himself fall into the other man’s side until his head was on Liam’s shoulder. 

“I don’t know.” He admitted after a moment, quietly, moving his legs over Liam’s lap so they could be closer, and Liam held on more tightly, pulling the blanket up a bit higher when Niall sniffed. This was nice, even though the reason wasn’t what Liam would have wanted it to be, but he still enjoyed holding the younger man even when they didn’t have sex. 

“Why did you have a bad day?” They had to start somewhere, even though Niall had said he didn’t wanna talk, Liam felt it was more so that he had just been upset Liam hadn’t noticed anything was going on. 

“I just… “ Niall started, and then he sighed, hesitating for a moment. “I just felt weird… kinda emotional, and I felt bad for Clara the whole day and I kinda… I wanted to see you. And then when I got home… my mother called and I accidentally picked up and… yeah.”

For a moment there, Liam almost got excited thinking Niall had missed him so much it had ruined his entire day, because it sure as hell had ruined Liam’s. But when he said the last thing, obviously Liam knew that that was the real reason for Niall’s bad mood. 

“What did she say?” Liam asked carefully, not even sure if Niall was going to tell him or not, his own heart beating a bit faster. He knew Niall had a strained relationship with his parents, he just didn’t know how bad it was exactly. Or what had happened for it to come this far, if anything had even happened at all.

“Random things, how I am and why I never answer the phone and… yeah. Unimportant. It just… I don’t like talking to my parents, and whenever I do it just brings back bad memories and all that stuff and… and I… I had to throw up. After.” Wait…

“Niall, I think maybe Clara did get you sick, maybe she-“

“No, she didn’t, I think maybe it’s because I’m going back into heat. It seems too soon but at the same time… who knows. Maybe that’s why I feel so weird as well… last time I felt weird too, and as if I was sick, and… emotional. I’m sorry I’m letting it out on you… “ He sniffed again, and Liam didn’t even know where to start feeling bad for Niall, he just held him more tightly, pressing his lips against the top of the younger man’s head, not really knowing what to do.

“You don’t have to apologize, I- I’m not the greatest at noticing when something is up or… or calming people down. I’m sorry. We can talk about anything if you want, anything at all, but I don’t wanna push you and I don’t wanna say or do anything wrong.” He had already done that after all.

“I didn’t want you to notice anyway, it’s not your fault at all, it’s mine… I’m sorry. I just couldn’t sleep and then I got myself worked up and… sorry.” Niall didn’t stop apologizing, and Liam wanted to tell him to stop because HE felt bad as well, but the younger man didn’t really leave him a chance to do so. “I, um… I’ve not seen my parents… in years.”

“Why?” Liam asked, because he didn’t know what else to say, and he had a feeling Niall really did wanna talk about it, but just didn’t know how.

“Ummm… “ The younger boy made, his fingers drawing random, feather-light patterns on Liam’s bare chest, giving him goosebumps. “I mean… I wasn’t, like… a poster child. Far from it. I was bad in school, I did whatever I wanted, and then I dropped out of course and the music stuff and… I couldn’t keep a job and every job I had when I was younger my parents thought it wasn’t good enough… we just fought, all the time, every day, it was… unbearable. So I dropped out and basically… ran away? I mean, not really, because I was 18 anyways, and I think they were glad I was gone.”

“You’ve not seen them since you were 18?” Now Liam was surprised, because he also didn’t get along with his father, at all, but sadly he had seen him once every year up until recently, at various family gatherings. Not that they had exchanged any words there.

“No, I have, just- not for the past 3 or 4 years. I can’t remember, umm… I’ve just… I took any job I could get, sometimes I lived with friends, or in really tight apartments with other people and I- my parents were really embarrassed, so I stopped picking up the phone and… I struggled with money a lot, of course and… I mean… I did have to, um, sometimes, like, take a few… drastic measures.” Niall said the last part really quietly, and Liam suddenly got a weird feeling in his stomach.

“What… measures?” Did he even want to know? 

“Well, I… “ Niall cleared his throat, but when he continued, he said it rather quickly, as if he wanted to get it out and be done with it. “I- I slept with a few people. For money. That’s another reason I wanted to suppress my heat and be on those pills because… I mean, it just makes things a lot harder, some of these people kinda stalked me afterwards and- also I couldn’t afford to have any sick days because of my heat. And I… I did sell a few drugs, but- that was years ago, mostly between 18 and 20, so- I’d never do that again. I didn’t wanna do it, I- I needed the money. And Harry and Louis know about it, they kinda- they stopped it from getting too bad when they noticed I was more and more getting into those things and- I got a normal job after that and… I never did it again, I would never do it again. And I’m over what happened, it’s not like, scarred me or anything, so… I’m fine.”

“I… okay.” What else was there to say? Liam was shocked, to say the least, not because he was disgusted or thought Niall was crazy, he just felt so sorry for him that it made him feel sick to his stomach. “I’m sorry, Niall, that you had to go through that and-“

“It’s not your fault and… it was years ago, so… I just hope I’ll never end up like that again, when I lived with Harry and Louis up until a few weeks ago, I was really scared it would go downhill, but… I’m really happy the way things are now.” He said it almost as if he was trying to talk it all better, but Liam couldn’t even be happy about it, he just felt like shit. To think he had almost been the reason Niall hadn’t even gotten the job at his firm… “I just… I wish my parents hadn’t found out about those things, because, um… it kinda made everything worse. They thought I was taking drugs and… you know. I didn’t, but… our relationship was already bad, and then it kinda just… ended?”

“Did you ever talk to them about it all? Like, did you ever sit down and explain-“

“I wanted to. Lots of times, but then… I just had nothing to say, you know? I don’t think this can be fixed and I… I don’t think I even want to fix it.” He sounded very final on that, and Liam kinda believed him, but at the same time… 

“Do you think that they want it fixed?” It seemed like it a little bit, with Niall’s mother trying to call him still, but then again… Liam had no idea what the situation was really like.

“No idea… I think they just feel guilty more than anything.” He shrugged against Liam, his head was still on his shoulder and there was silence for a moment, Niall clearly hesitating before he continued yet again, slowly, as if he hadn’t even meant to say that much. “The thing is, um…. it wasn’t always like that, I- things were fine until I was like… 6, maybe… but… I, uh… I had an older brother. He was about 10 years older than me and… he died. He took an overdose when he was 17… so… you can imagine that it put a strain on my family and… they always thought I would go down the same path as him and… it seemed like I did, for a while, but… well, I’m still here.”

“Ni, I- I’m so sorry, I had no idea, I-“

“No, it’s okay, I rarely tell people, there’s no need, really, so… we weren’t close or anything, and I was only 6 years old, I barely remember him or whatever happened now. I mean of course it’s sad, but… it took a toll on my parents, much more than on me, obviously. I just… I just had to deal with the consequences, my parents never really spoke about it, I found out how he died years later from someone at school whose sister used to know him or something… anyways, uh… I understand that my parents’ lives were shit from that moment on, I just… I just wish they wouldn’t have taken their anger and pain out on me. But… I can’t change that, so… and I also can’t really blame them.“ It sounded as if Niall was telling himself that it was fine, that he didn’t care, and now it was Liam who had to hold back tears, because… he couldn’t help him, no one could, this was just a tragic family story and Liam had no idea how Niall had even managed to get to where he was right now.

“I.,. I don’t even know what to say, I’m sorry. For everything that happened to you and- I think it’s amazing that you never gave up and that you’re here and- just everything. I really admire you.” It was the truth, Liam was a bit speechless right now.

“Thank you. I don’t really see it that way, but… I appreciate it. And don’t worry, you don’t have to feel sorry for me or anything, I’m okay. As I said, it was a long time ago since I’ve even seen my parents, but talking to them just brings back old memories and… not so nice ones, so I just… usually avoid their calls. My life is fine without them in it and lots of people have had not so amazing childhoods, so… “ True, but now Liam felt pathetic for ever thinking his own life had been hard. “… and lots of people don’t talk to their parents.”

“Yeah… “ Liam cleared his throat, holding Niall more tightly now, a little bit as support. 

They stayed quiet for a while, Liam still felt like he should have said more, but he couldn’t think of anything and it made him feel quite stupid, so Niall was the one who broke the silence. “You don’t have to talk about your dad or anything, I just… I was just wondering what happened in your family. But you don’t have to tell me if-”

“No, no, it’s fine, um… “ It was just, Liam had never really talked about it. Sure, Zayn knew, but Liam had never felt a need to really discuss it with him. Or anyone. “It’s not like- not like anything happened, really. My mother died of cancer when I was so young that I can’t even remember her, so… I’ve got no siblings and my dad… he was more interested in work than in me and we didn’t get along, at all, and so… you know, I just had a few rebel phases, I thought I was doing it to hurt him, but… turns out he didn’t care if I threw my life away and I realized that… I realized I could hurt him a lot more by succeeding, doing exactly what he’s been doing and doing it better, so… that’s what I did and… we never had much of a relationship, I know he doesn’t like me and would ruin my firm in a heartbeat, but… yeah. I had everything I needed growing up though, I had all the possibilities to go to uni and whatnot, so… I’m not complaining or anything.”

“You don’t have to say that because of me, Liam. I’m sorry about your mom… and about your dad. I know what it’s like growing up thinking your parents don’t love you and wanting to do everything to hurt them when really… you just kinda wish they’d care once a while… but you’ve come this far, I mean, you achieved everything you wanted with your firm. You’re successful, despite everything, you can be proud.” Niall had lifted his head for the first time so they could look at each other, and there was a smile on his face, but Liam still felt awful and guilty.

“Yeah… thank you.” The thing was… Liam wasn’t proud. Not at all, but he didn’t wanna say it, because he knew Niall’s life had been a lot worse than his. “I don’t want it to sound like I’m ungrateful for what I had growing up, I-“

“It’s not a contest. I think we can both agree that we went through shitty times, right? Just differently. But now we’re here and we’re fine and… yeah, sometimes I feel bad about the past, sometimes I really don’t care. It’s just the way it is. And I’m fine, I’m happy and… I just had a bad day and I’m probably going into heat. I’m sorry I was taking it out on you.” Now Niall looked guilty too and Liam almost had to laugh thinking about how much of a mess they were.

“You don’t have to keep apologizing, I really get it… I don’t smell you going into heat but you’re probably right… “ He had to be… right? “I’m sorry I can’t take a hint.”

“It’s not your fault, I didn’t really give you a hint.” Now Niall laughed shortly, and Liam found himself smiling, mindlessly reaching out to touch the younger man’s cheeks. “You know, because of what you said before… you’re not at all bad at comforting someone.”

“I’m glad… “ Liam’s social skills probably needed some work, but he was honestly just relieved that Niall seemed to be feeling better. “Umm… if you, you know… if you wanna talk about anything or, if you just wanna, like, cuddle, then… we can. Anytime. And… you don’t need to ask or… or whatever. Okay?”

“Okay.” Niall grinned before leaning forward to kiss Liam out of nowhere, and it was probably around 3 in the morning now, but Liam never checked how long they actually sat on the couch making out.

When they did go to sleep, Niall immediately took whatever Liam had said serious, all up in his space and half on top of him once they had gotten back to bed. Liam just held him, thinking about all those things he could have said to Niall once the younger man had fallen asleep, all those things he had been meaning to tell him for a while now, but had maybe not even really wanted to admit to himself.

The truth was, Liam had never been happy about what he had achieved with his firm, or in life in general, he had never gotten what he had wanted, and he never truly felt satisfied with how things had turned out. Something had always been missing, and as cliché as it sounded, the circumstances had kinda turned Liam into a somewhat cold person, a CEO that never talked to his employees and pushed away the only friend he had left.

But Niall had changed all of that, had changed Liam, showing him exactly what he had been missing out on. And now Liam was afraid that if he spoke up too soon, or ever at all really, that he would end up causing the opposite of what he wanted.

Because Niall had said he was happy the way things were, so did that mean he would never want to take things further, get more serious? It was a question that kept Liam up for ages, and when he did finally find some rest, Niall woke him up again by having to throw up in the toilet at five in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi :)
> 
> this is an early update because i want to play animal crossing hahah! i hope you enjoyed the chapter!! i think we can all agree we know what is happening ;) i am super excited about how the story is developing, especially niams relationship, its a lot of fun to write!
> 
> thank you for all the lovely feedback on the last chapter & i hope you liked this one too!! i hope you had a good week (i did, after my dentist appointment haha) and will have another great week! let me know your thoughts as always if you want <3


	11. Chapter 11

Liam didn’t know what it was, but he certainly wasn’t complaining about the way Niall continued to behave around him the next two days. It turned out Niall wasn’t sick or anything, although Liam had been quite worried when the younger man had thrown up, but it seemed he was completely fine after, so Liam really had no arguments as to why he shouldn’t have gone to work. 

Ever since Niall’s heat a couple weeks ago, they had become closer, mostly physically, but now that they had kinda both opened up about their pasts a little bit and just the way Liam felt around the younger man, it was definitely emotional closeness as well. Ever since Niall had been feeling kinda bad that night though, it seemed physical distance had become a foreign concept to him.

“Is Zayn coming over later?” Niall asked after they had been working in silence for like, 2 minutes, because that was the maximum they now lasted without talking. Not very productive, but still more productive than whenever Liam kinda forgot he was staring at the younger man across the table.

“I don’t think so, he’s got other things to do. And I’ve got no meetings scheduled for today… I kinda need a break from talking to my employees, before they get too comfortable telling me all their private issues.” Because if this got out of hand then Liam would have just created new problems. “Why?”

“Just asking.” The younger man shrugged, and then he suddenly started smiling and Liam had long forgotten about what he had just read on his laptop. “Can I take my break right now? I’m kinda hungry.”

“Since when are you asking?” Liam laughed because Niall sometimes took 10 breaks, and as long as things got done, Liam didn’t care. Then again, sometimes work had been left behind and he had simply decided to ignore that as well, so… 

“I don’t know, it seemed appropriate.” He then closed his laptop, getting his bag instead and Liam kinda wondered how he had had time to buy so much food in the morning. They had arrived together, as usual by now, and because they couldn’t walk in here next to each other, Niall sometimes went to a store or bakery across the street. Kinda stupid, but effective. “Do you want some?”

“I’m fine, thanks… are you sure all that sugar is a good lunch?” Liam wasn’t saying it to be funny or to be mean, he was genuinely a bit concerned watching the younger man, who simply rolled his eyes, not giving an answer and just focusing on his food instead. 

It was a little bit distracting having Niall eating opposite him and being on his phone at the same time, but Liam tried his very best to ignore it. It did work, for a few minutes, and Niall was a fast eater as well, but he still wasn’t done when he spoke up again.

“I’m going downstairs to get coffee. I’ll bring you one too.” Niall announced out of nowhere, and Liam nodded, not really knowing what to say to that except thank you, even though he kinda didn’t even want any coffee right now.

So he was alone for a couple minutes, which didn’t really mean that he got any work done though. Lately, whenever he was alone, he felt he just had too many thoughts crossing his mind, too many things to think and worry about, and Liam wasn’t very fond of his alone time anymore, and luckily, Niall seemed to feel the same.

He came back with two coffees a couple minutes later, looking deep in thoughts as he handed Liam his, and before the other man even had a chance to ask, he was already saying it. “Two people from downstairs asked me to pass on messages for you.”

“Who?” Liam suppressed a sigh, suddenly really grateful for that coffee.

“I’ve no idea. I told them to write you an email.” Niall shrugged, looking like he was going to sit down again, but then he didn’t.

“An email? They could also just come up here.” An email sounded very distant, Zayn would have immediately scolded Liam for that had he known.

“Do you really want them to come up here? I don’t.” He sounded a bit harsh saying that, but Liam had to admit, he would have hated absolutely nothing more than for people to start coming to his office as if it was open house or something. The fact that Niall had such strong feelings about it too felt really fucking nice though. “Can I show you something?”

“Um, sure, yeah. What?” Liam was really confused at the sudden change of topic, even more confused when Niall never sat down and simply walked around the table.

The thing was, he did it all so smoothly and casual, as if he was doing it all the time, when really, he had NEVER just sat on Liam’s lap except for when they had sex, and they clearly weren’t, so obviously Liam was shocked. Not in a bad way.

“I’ll just close this for a second.” Niall had started using Liam’s laptop without a care in the world, sitting on his lap all comfortably and Liam kinda put his arms around him automatically, deciding to go along with it because what would he have said? He didn’t want Niall to get up, it was rather nice. “Look, I found this guy- wait, that’s the wrong website… that one. He’s writing for this magazine, but he’s written his own books. Self published.”

“Did you read them?” Liam leaned forward a bit to see better, a bit too distracted for this conversation.

“No?” Niall asked as if Liam was joking or something. “Harry did. I think they know each other from some online forum or whatever. He asked me to show you.”

“Okay… well, either you read them or you send them to me.” Those were really the only two options here. 

“I’ll send you the link later… “ Niall leaned back against him then, a bit unexpectedly, but Liam was really just happy he made no intentions of getting up, so he tightened his arms around the younger man’s stomach with no regrets. “Sorry, this was really random, but Harry asked me to do it two days ago and I keep forgetting.”

“No need to apologize.” Liam shrugged as far as that was possible, liking the way Niall felt against him, how familiar he smelled. “… how is Harry? I mean… how is his pregnancy going?”

“Fine, I guess. Wait, he’s- 5 months. I think. Around 5 months, yeah. Whenever I ask he says he’s doing well.” Niall explained, slipping down a bit in Liam’s lap so he was almost lying on top of him, head on the older man’s shoulder. “… do you ever actually talk to him? I mean, he’s been signed with you for years.”

“Not really, no… I’ve got people who do all the communication, I know he meets with Zayn a lot, but that’s about it. If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t even know he’s pregnant and I would’ve probably stopped pushing his deadlines back long ago.” Honestly, at this point, if Styles took 10 more months to finish this book, Liam wasn’t sure if he would have even still cared.

“I didn’t know he’s taking so long… we never really talk about work, it’d be weird, somehow. And whenever we talk lately it’s mostly so he can show me even more ultrasound pictures, and I like seeing them, and I’m happy for them too, but it does get a bit much. I mean, I did cry the other day when he showed me the pictures but-“

“Why did you cry?” Liam interrupted, not sure if he was still following Niall’s trail of thoughts here. 

“I don’t know, it made me emotional somehow. I’ve known him for so long, and Louis too, and now… you know. I still remember when Harry told me he accidentally got pregnant when we were 18 or 19, it was crazy.” See, Liam had had no idea about these kinda things, he hadn’t even known how old Harry was, or he would have figured it out upon seeing his daughters. Then again, he couldn’t have even known if they were Harry’s or just his partner’s. Not that Liam truly cared, just for Niall. “And yet he still managed to be so much more successful in life than me.”

“Why are you saying that? And what exactly are you measuring success by?” It irritated Liam, the way Niall was saying it like a joke, and as if it was a fact too. 

“Financial stability? Happiness? I don’t know. I just know anyone with a brain would rather choose his life than mine if they had to.” Niall shrugged against Liam, and honestly, the older man had no idea anymore how they had even gotten to this point in their conversation, or how he seemed to be taking his break right now as well. 

“I highly doubt that. A lot of people don’t want kids, especially not three. A ton of people don’t wanna be authors or even be in a relationship at all. It’s just a matter of perspective.” Liam bit his tongue when he realized he was about to start lecturing Niall when he knew the younger man hated it. “… would _you_ want to live his life? Bonded and three kids at 25?”

“Maybe, I’ve never really seen myself like that. I think I’d be a horrible father as well, I never know how to deal with it when Josie and Clara tell me their problems or do things they shouldn’t be doing, I just… I always let them get away with it. My kids would be completely out of control.” The younger man laughed a bit at that although Liam knew he wasn’t amused, it very much sounded as if it was weighing on him.

“They’re not your kids, so it’s weird to discipline them or know where to draw the line. You said you’re more like a cool uncle to them, right?” Okay, why was Liam now trying to tell Niall he would make a good father when neither of them had kids or were even close to having any?

“Maybe that’s all I can be, who knows? I don’t think I’ll ever find out.” Somehow, that gave Liam a pinch, but he ignored it anyways. 

“How would you know? You’re only 25, Niall, your life is long from being over. You’re talking like that’s it, like nothing can ever change. Also… I thought you said you are happy.” That was bothering Liam the most, sure, he himself wasn’t sure if he was truly happy with his life either, but that was different. 

“I am. Most of the time. Sometimes it does feel like that’s it though, like, I’ve had a couple of days now where I thought I honestly had so much luck getting to work here and being able to pay my own rent that it can’t possibly get any better. Like, this has got to be the peak.” Should Liam have been offended that Niall hadn’t mentioned him? He tried not to be.

“It’s not, I can promise you that.” Could he though? Liam hoped so. “When I was 25 I was nowhere near where I am now, I’m not saying it to brag it’s just the truth. Things take time.”

“You’re talking as if you’re so old… you’ll only be 30 in a month or so.” Wait… 

“How do you even know that?” Pretty sure Liam hadn’t told him, but it amused him nevertheless, and maybe he felt a bit flattered as well when the younger man continued.

“I know a lot of things about you, Liam, there’s tons of stuff online about you. I was curious who I’m working for. And who I’m sleeping with.” Niall let out a laugh at that, but he was obviously being completely serious. “… do you want a family? And kids? How many relationships have you had? And what-“

“That’s a few too many personal questions at once.” Liam interrupted, pretending to be amused when in reality, he was suddenly starting to get a bit nervous. Because the truth was… he didn’t know. He had thought for a long time that he knew what he wanted, but now… it seemed his focus had somehow shifted. “I, uh… I don’t know. I don’t think there’s a point in planning any of that when I don’t know if it will ever even happen.”

“Yeah, I get that… “ Niall told him slowly, seemingly lost in thoughts, but it was pretty obvious he was only interested in one thing anyways. “So, how many relationships have you had?”

“What do you classify as relationship?” Liam didn’t ask to be funny, he genuinely didn’t know how to answer the question.

“People you dated?” The younger man continued, and even then… 

“For how long?” Surely a month wouldn’t cut it… right?

“I- Seriously?” Niall sat up laughing and Liam only loosened his arms a little bit for the younger man to sit more sideways on his lap so they could look at each other, his facial expression completely surprised. “You don’t know.”

“It’s just- I told you, I’ve had a few rebel phases in my teens, and there were a few people after, I just didn’t count them.” Okay, Liam realized how bad this sounded, and he was quick to correct himself when Niall’s face got the slightest bit harder. “I don’t mean that- that they didn’t mean anything. Yeah, I’ve had one night stands and it was just for fun, for both sides, but I’ve not done anything with anyone for a while, for more than a year before we met. Just… so you know.”

“Okay.” The younger man shrugged, and Liam had no idea if he was pissed or not, but honestly, why would he have been? They weren’t dating, and Niall knew that he had slept with other people. And yet… “I’ve dated like 2 people. But I think I probably slept with at least 30.”

“I… “ What was Liam supposed to say to that? Niall was saying it straight out, boldly, as if he just wanted to see Liam’s reaction and piss him off. Okay, so he truly was mad at him now. “I’m sorry that you had to do that for-“

“It’s not like I never enjoyed it, you know. It’s still sex, and the people weren’t gross or anything. Some of them were really good in bed. Plus, I got paid.” Okay, Liam hadn’t needed to know. 

“I’m still sorry. And I’m also sorry if I got you upset because of what I said, I didn’t mean to.” No idea how else to apologize, because if Liam had made up a number now, Niall wouldn’t have believed him anyways, it was too late.

“I’m not upset. And who knows, maybe I’m just sleeping with you for all the bonuses I get as well and so I won’t get fired.” The younger man teased, and now Liam almost had to laugh, but he just rolled his eyes instead, tightening his arms around Niall. 

“No, you’re not. You know I wouldn’t have fired you before we had sex, and you’ve gotten less bonuses than you did when I was asking you to stay late all the time. And you’d sleep in the guest room and not on top of me.” When Liam said the last part, he felt a bit proud because he knew he had won when Niall’s cheeks turned red. “And you wouldn’t call me up so I can come pick you up all the time to-“

“Okay, okay. Whatever. I still think it’s strange you don’t even know how many people you dated and slept with.” Niall huffed, looking down and openly showing his frustration now, making Liam feel quite guilty as he squeezed him.

The stupid part was, it gave Liam a bit of hope that maybe Niall would eventually want what he had started to realize he wanted. And it’d hurt awfully bad if he ever found out that it had just been in his imagination after all. 

“I’m sorry, I genuinely did not keep track. Of course I had serious relationships and I still remember them, but also, I was kinda young and I changed as a person, obviously. And especially in the last few years I’ve not even had time to for anyone or for anything really, so… nothing much happened.” And then Liam swallowed, because he wasn’t sure if he should have said it or not, but then he just did. “Until you.”

“So you’re saying I’m super special and not at all like all those other people?” Niall was teasing, but Liam could tell that he looked a bit hopeful too. It was honestly the cutest thing ever.

“I’m not saying it, you did, but you’re not wrong.” Liam settled for that, smiling a bit when the younger man did, and just to take out the seriousness of the conversation, he just HAD to add something. “Out of all the other people surely no one’s ever called me daddy in bed, so… you are special.”

“You’re literally _impossible_ , we were having a moment for a second and you just had to ruin it, huh? As if you don’t love it when I call you that, as if-“

“I do love it.” The older man interrupted with a laugh, very amused by Niall’s fake upset face and tone of voice.

“Well, too bad, because now I don’t think I will ever feel like saying it a-“

This time, Liam cut him off with a kiss, they were already so close anyways, and Niall didn’t try to resist, he actually just wrapped his arms around Liam and immediately gave in to the pressure of his tongue, kissing him back just as desperately.

The rest of the day was kinda weird, not in the sense that Niall was still upset over what Liam had said, but more so that he was even more clingy than he had already been before. No one came to Liam’s office all day, so it was really just the two of them, giving Niall a free pass to do whatever, sit on Liam’s lap a couple of times, kiss him out of nowhere, stand behind him and wrap his arms around him pretending he had just wanted to see what Liam had been doing, reaching out to touch him whenever Liam walked past to go to the bathroom.

It honestly made Liam forget that he even had other people working for him too, that they were in this massive building together and that it actually wasn’t just the two of them. That feeling got even more intensified when they left the office as the last people, walking through the empty hallways and open office spaces and when Liam reached out to hold Niall’s hand, it was just to make sure he hurried up a bit on their way to Liam’s car.

\------------------------

“ _Fuck, please… please… harder, ha- daddy, please!_ ” Niall’s voice felt strained as the words were falling out of his mouth between moans, his fingers slipping from where he was holding onto the counter, his hipbones painfully digging into the wood as Liam fucked into him from behind. 

“You’re such a- _ah_ good boy… you feel so fucking good… so good… _baby_ … “ Liam was close, Niall could tell not only because his knot had expanded, creating pressure in all the right spots whenever he pushed himself back inside the younger man, but also because of how Liam’s breathing had changed against the back of Niall’s sweaty neck.

The older man reached around unexpectedly, grabbing a hold of Niall’s erection to wank him while he continued to thrust inside of him, and right when Niall felt Liam was about to lock his knot inside of him, he pulled out completely, instead coming all over Niall’s ass with a grunt, his hand slipping from around the younger man.

“Liam… “ Niall whined breathlessly, not being able to believe he had just stopped when Niall had been SO fucking close. 

“Sorry, the position is- it’d hurt.” Liam told him after he had come down, pressing shivery kisses along Niall’s shoulder and the younger man was frustrated beyond anything, but he knew Liam was right. He wouldn’t have wanted to be stuck together like this for at least 10 minutes. “Keep holding on.” 

“Wha- _fuck_ … “ Niall was moaning again once he realized what Liam was doing, he had gotten to his knees, spreading the younger man’s ass cheeks to bury his face in between and lick him out where he had just come all over him.

It was so fucking dirty and hot that Niall came within seconds, the build-up just having been too much. Liam was dragging it out, his beard scratching against Niall’s skin until the younger man got over sensitive and weakly pushed him away, a little exhausted from what they had done. Also a bit sore, but it felt really fucking good either way.

“You okay?” Liam asked after he had gotten back to his feet, and Niall had turned around, his chest still heaving as he watched Liam wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, the kinda smile on his face that Niall just couldn’t resist, so he just lunged forward instead of giving an answer, kissing the older man on the lips. 

They had literally just been doing the dishes after having ordered food (because Niall was pretty damn certain at this point that Liam had never used his kitchen in his entire life), and all of a sudden Niall just hadn’t been able to help himself and they had ended up fucking right there in the kitchen. So yeah, great ending to the night. 

“Hmm… can we eat dessert now?” Niall asked in between kisses, suddenly getting hungry again and the older man just laughed, hugging him tightly around the waist until Niall almost lost his balance had he not been holding on, feeling the warmth of Liam’s breath against his shoulder where he had buried his head.

“I just did.” He told him and Niall could feel himself turning a bit hot, but he kinda loved it anyways, just like absolutely everything they did whenever they were together. And lately, the pull was almost impossible to resist and Niall blamed it on him being about to go into heat again, even though Liam was still telling him he wasn’t noticing anything in his scent.

Hopefully it would hold until the weekend, because Niall had no idea how he’d manage if Liam decided he needed to go to work while Niall was alone having to deal with his heat like he had had to years ago. 

They did eventually eat dessert (Niall his own portion and half of Liam’s), and clean the kitchen and the counter, and then themselves, and Niall made Liam fuck him again in the shower, barely allowing the older man to lie down in bed afterwards before being all over him again.

Yeah, Niall was definitely a bit clingy, but he just couldn’t stop, Liam smelled so damn good and he was so good at giving cuddles, had Niall known, he would have thrown a fit over it much sooner. 

“Are you still upset over earlier today?” Liam asked quietly while they were lying in bed, Niall’s head on his chest and the older’s arms wrapped around him, absently stroking his back and making Niall sleepier by the second.

“I was never upset.” Niall lied, because he HAD been, a little bit. It’s just… how many people had Liam been with? And what did that mean for Niall? He shouldn’t have even cared, not even a bit, but somehow he did. Somehow he wanted to be special to Liam so desperately that it was embarrassing. “I was just joking around.”

“Are you sure?” Liam didn’t sound convinced at all, because he wasn’t an idiot, but Niall was suddenly embarrassed about it all, so he had to pretend.

“Yeah. It’s none of my business anyways with how many people you’ve been.” Not like he could have made it undone, right? “And I… I’ve not slept with 30 people. It was more like, 15.”

“Ni, you don’t have to tell me those things if you don’t want to, it’s none of my business either.” True, but somehow Niall had wanted to tell him, somehow he wanted to tell Liam lots of things he didn’t really feel like he could tell anybody else. But then he rarely ever did, because he felt like their relationship wasn’t really on that level. 

“I know, but I wanted to tell you and also… also, some of them were good in bed, but with you it’s like… different. Good different. I mean, you also don’t pay me for it, so it’s like- but anyways, I just wanted to say that. I enjoy what we’re doing and I was really just joking when I said the thing about the money and-“

“I know, Ni.” Liam interrupted, his voice having gotten soft and Niall relaxed when the older man kissed the top of his head. “It’s all good.”

“Okay… “ Niall mumbled against Liam’s skin, suddenly feeling a bit emotional yet again, but he managed to hold back those tears because that would have just been ridiculous and he was already embarrassed about how stupidly jealous he had gotten and had felt the need to try and make Liam feel the same. His damn heat, no one had ever warned him about those symptoms, he also wasn’t sure if he had ever experienced them before. “I’m really tired…”

“Then go to sleep. We have to get up soon anyways.” Sadly. “Sleep tight.”

“You too.” The younger man gave back quietly, tightening his arm around Liam’s stomach to have him even closer although he was already half on top of him anyways.

Niall couldn’t sleep right away, he was still thinking about today, the things they had talked about, those kinda serious topics and the way Niall had felt as if not touching Liam for a few minutes would have killed him. Luckily Liam didn’t seem to mind and it looked like he was enjoying it too, so Niall decided that he probably felt the same, that Niall was about to go into heat, even if he couldn’t smell it just yet.

But he was an Alpha, the Alpha Niall had slept with for weeks now, so it was only natural he would feel this way towards him, right? And the other way around.

\-------------------------

“I’m just gonna say it now because I’ve been thinking it the entire time we’ve sat here.” Louis suddenly spoke up out of nowhere, and Niall flinched a bit because he had been zoning out watching Clara and Josie running around on the playground like maniacs. 

“What?” Niall blinked a few times before he turned his head, shoving one of the apple slices into his mouth that Louis had packed for the girls. Whatever, they had like, 30 of them.

“You smell weird.” The other man told him, and Niall was offended for a moment before he realized what his friend was probably talking about, so he shrugged.

“I switched my pills, so… I’m probably going into heat.” He explained calmly, suddenly remembering that no one even knew except Liam, no Alpha had actually ever commented on his scent since he had started taking pills before Liam. And now Louis.

“Why did you do that?” He seemed very surprised, because it made sense, from his perspective, it was completely out of nowhere. “You’ve been taking them for ages, right?”

“Yeah, but I read somewhere that they’re actually not at all healthy.” Well, he had already known that, it wouldn’t have been a reason for him to stop taking them though. 

“I heard that too, but- wait, can you take days off when you go into heat? It could be dangerous if-“

“Yeah, of course I can, don’t worry. It’s all good, I’m just trying to give my body a break, you know?” God, Niall was such a good liar.

“Yeah, I get that. I think it’s a good decision.” Louis agreed, nodding along, but then he suddenly furrowed his eyebrows. “But it’s not what you smell like.”

“How would you even know that, you’re bonded with Harry, you’ve-“

“It doesn’t mean I’m immune to the scent of other people, sure, it’s not as strong, but I still notice. And I know what it smells like when an Omega is going into heat. This is not it.” Okay, one second… 

“So… what exactly are you saying? That I need a shower or something?” Niall laughed, but it got stuck in his throat a little bit. 

“I don’t know.” And then Louis seemed to hesitate, looking from Niall at something in the distance and then back at him. “This guy you met a while ago, when you had this gig… did you ever, you know… meet up again?”

“No, why?” Niall answered quickly, feeling guilty and nervous, and a little scared too, because what was Louis even going on about? “Why are you asking?”

“I was just- it’s nothing. I think my senses are a bit messed up, I’ve had a cold recently.” Now he was trying to talk himself out of it and it only intensified Niall’s worries.

“Just spit it out.” The younger man demanded, because he was starting to become really impatient and he was afraid one of the girls would come running over any second and end this conversation. 

“Okay, but- don’t get mad.” Louis sighed, seemingly not wanting to say this for anything in the world, but then he still did, while looking Niall straight in the face. “You smell like you’re pregnant.”

“ _WHAT?!_ ” Niall was being way too loud, making his friend flinch, and luckily the kids on the playground were really loud as well, so nobody noticed, but- WHAT?! “Why would I be pregnant, I can’t be, I’m taking pills and- well, even if I didn’t, uh, I didn’t like- I didn’t have sex.”

“Okay, but it still smells like you are, I’ve noticed the moment you said hi. It’s not a strong smell, but- it’s definitely there. But as I said, I had a cold and-“

“I doubt you could actually smell if I were pregnant.” Niall interrupted, to convince himself, his heart about to jump out of his chest. “You’re bonded with Harry. And not that I am pregnant, because I can’t be, but I don’t think you could smell it.”

“Oh, I could. It’s different from how Harry smells for me right now, because he’s my Omega, when I meet other Omegas who are pregnant, it’s- like, not to offend you, but it doesn’t smell good. But it’s supposed to be that way, to scare me off, because they’re carrying another Alpha’s baby and-“

“Okay, hold up, so you’re telling me I smell like shit?” That’s what he was saying right? “Because I’m not pregnant.”

“I don’t know what it is, okay? I was just wondering, if- just forget about it. It’s not like, bothering me, just whenever the wind- I’m sorry. Those pills you were taking were suppressing your scent pretty well, so now it might just be different because I’ve known you for so long but never really smelled anything.” So what he was saying…

“So my natural scent also smells like shit now?” This was just getting worse and worse.

“No, that’s not- look.” Louis let out a frustrated sigh, but Niall was just as frustrated as him, if not more. And now he was also pretty fucking terrified at the same time. “Your body is probably confused, right? You’ve been taking these pills for years. Also, we’re friends, you’re not supposed to smell good to me anyways, especially because I’m already bonded, so actually, no Omega ever really smells good to me except Harry. I mean, what do I smell like to you?”

“Nothing.” It was true, Niall rarely ever noticed anybody’s scent, he had always assumed it were the pills influencing him, but now that he thought about it… Liam’s scent had always stuck out to him from the beginning, and it had been intensified the past few weeks and… oh god. 

“See? Because in no world would we be attracted to one another, right? So it makes sense. You don’t smell like shit, just not good to me. And it’s also not bad, I just brought it up because I was confused. I didn’t know you had switched your pills.” Louis was just talking and talking, and Niall heard maybe every third word.

He didn’t answer, just kept staring, not even knowing anymore what the hell he was supposed to think. What if- but no, he was taking those pills, regularly, he had paid extra attention to do it right after that scare of forgetting, and he had gotten his heat, he couldn’t be pregnant. He just couldn’t be.

“Niall?” Louis kinda waved his hand in front of Niall’s face, getting him out of his thoughts, his face worried. “Are you really pissed now because of that?”

“No, I just- I remembered something else. About work. I need to- I forgot I had to finish something.” Niall was making the lie up as he went along, his brain not functioning properly. 

“Okay? And you have to do it now?” His friend was understandably confused as Niall got up, completely beside himself and also fighting his tears a little bit.

“Yeah, sorry, I- can you tell the girls I’m sorry and I’ll see them next week?” Niall had already grabbed his bag, not even knowing what to think anymore.

“I can, but- Nialler, are you okay? Are you sure this is not because of what I s-“

“Please, as if I care that much about your opinion, Tommo.” Niall joked, managing a laugh just to calm his friend down. “I’ll text you later.”

“Yeah, okay. Take care.” He still seemed unsure about letting Niall go, so Niall made sure to do it quickly, and the moment he was out of sight, he walked even faster.

It was pure panic that was driving Niall to get back home as quickly as humanly possible, and of course the bus took ages and Niall thought his heart would soon give up if it didn’t calm down. But how could it have? If Louis had just unknowingly told Niall something that could have potentially changed his entire life.

Niall was taking two steps at once as he went up to his flat, almost falling down before fumbling the key into the lock, kicking the door closed with his foot and not bothering to take off his shoes as he bolted into the bathroom.

“Shit… “ He dropped the entire package of pills into the sink, and luckily none fell out, but at this point, Niall wasn’t sure anymore whether it would have even mattered as he fumbled apart the piece of paper stating information on the pills he was taking.

It was kinda hard to filter out the necessary information, especially because Niall didn’t even know what he was looking for, but once he found the sentence he had feared he would find, it stuck out to him like a sore thumb.

_Do not take immediately following any other Omega suppressant. Effects may be impaired._

There it was, black on white, and Niall’s doctor might have even told him, and he simply hadn’t been listening, or had brushed it off, who the hell knew? Niall could barely remember it now, his doctor had just squeezed him in, had barely had any time and now…

Now it was too late. 

This time when Niall had to throw up into his toilet yet again, he realized that this might have been the first time he was doing it purely because he was stressed and not for other reasons. Reasons he was too afraid to even just imagine.

What the hell was he going to do if Louis was right?

\----------------------

Liam was really trying to ignore the change in Niall’s behavior, _yet again_ , but he was having a harder time now than before. When Niall had suddenly decided he wanted to be all over Liam and touch him at any given moment, the older man had been all for it. So obviously he noticed it even more when the younger man suddenly stopped, from one day to the other.

First, he told Liam he couldn’t sleep over after all after meeting with Louis, because he had to help him with something and then he had apparently slept in upon coming home. Fine, okay, that could happen.

The next few days though, Niall limited their touches to the absolute minimum, and it’s not like he was being so distant or anything, he still talked the same, but he also seemed to focus a lot more on work. He did sleep over as well, but things were just… they were different.

And Liam had no idea how to bring it up, because maybe this was normal, maybe this was how they had been behaving before and he had simply forgotten. Maybe this was how they should have behaved anyways, because they weren’t together, probably never would be and… well, Liam had been an idiot for already getting his feelings hurt for something he had simply been imaging all along. 

This was exactly why he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. 

\---------------------------------

_Reasons your heat is late other than pregnancy_

_How often are pregnancy tests wrong_

_Can you get pregnant immediately after taking the pill all your life_

Niall’s browser history was a MESS, and yet he couldn’t stop searching up new questions, reading in more forums, freaking himself out to the absolute max. This couldn’t be true, it absolutely could NOT, like, this was all a bad joke, it had to be, there had to be explanations to all of this, and it couldn’t be _that_. It couldn’t.

The positive pregnancy test Niall had turned around after having had to convince himself for over 30 minutes told a different story though.

There were tears streaming down Niall’s face as he sat on the bathroom floor, scrolling through his phone, his battery at 10% and he still hadn’t found anything to calm his nerves. Liam had texted 3 times, so had Louis, and his mother had called again, and Niall had just stared blankly at his screen, waiting for all the notifications to disappear so he could continue his pointless search.

He had all the symptoms, he had just been too fucking stupid to realize it.

Literally, Niall HAD to be the dumbest and unluckiest person on this entire planet. What idiot forgot his pill, did NOT get pregnant as result, just to get new pills and not read the prescription text?! This was it, Niall’s life was over, he might as well have just told everyone the truth.

But he couldn’t, especially not when Liam texted him yet again.

_Liam 21:36  
Look, it’s fine if you don’t wanna come over, I won’t be upset or anything. Just tell me if you’re okay? I’m a bit worried about you lately :/_

Fuck. 

Had Niall just ruined his own life like so many times before, it would have not been THAT bad, had it just been his own problem. But it wasn’t. His stupidity would affect Liam’s life as well, and Niall expected the other man to get mad, hell, he had every right to be. It had solely been Niall’s responsibility to pop a single pill into his mouth at the right time.

And he had still somehow messed that up.

Another hour passed, and Niall had somehow run out of tears at this point, and he managed to text Liam back, telling him he was just really tired and that he was okay otherwise. And then he made sure to tell him goodnight because he felt really bad for being so distant lately, and he missed the older man too.

He could tell it bothered Liam, that he was starting to become uncertain of when it was okay to touch Niall or whether he wanted space, and it was honestly getting to Niall because he had never meant to hurt Liam. It’s just, whenever they did touch, he felt like a traitor for not having told Liam already, for not being able to open his damn mouth when it concerned Liam just as much.

Instead, Niall cried himself to sleep without putting an alarm on his phone and it probably ran out of battery anyways, because the next morning, he was woken with banging on his door instead.

\---------------------------

Honestly? Liam had had enough. Even if Niall had suddenly decided he didn’t like their closeness anymore, he could have still told Liam, right? And if he was feeling bad, then the same applied.

Something was wrong with him, and none of Liam’s messages were going through the following Saturday, so he simply decided that that was the last straw. It was two in the bloody afternoon, if anything had happened to Niall, he would have never forgiven himself for simply having sat around waiting, sulking.

Liam didn’t have to wait to get into Niall’s building, somebody just left when he arrived and Liam caught the door, both afraid but also desperate as he took the stairs until he was standing right in front of Niall’s door.

And then, for only a moment, Liam hesitated, thought about whether he was invading Niall’s privacy, whether he was allowed to do this, but then he decided to screw it.

He HAD to do this, who else would check on Niall?! Nobody else seemed to even know that anything was up with him.

It took ages of Liam banging on that door, or so it felt like at least, and he almost thought about calling the police, that something had truly happened and he had wasted all this time when Niall _finally_ spoke through the door.

“Who is it?” His voice sounded numbed through the wall, but Liam’s chest already felt a LOT lighter. Thank god, at least he was alright.

“It’s me. Liam.” He added his name anyways even if he was sure that Niall knew, and when there was no immediate reaction, he thought Niall would just ignore him.

But then he opened the door, looking as if… as if he had just woken up and cried the entire night through.

“What… what are you doing?” Was all Liam could ask, not knowing why he was surprised about Niall’s appearance. He had been fearing way worse, he should have been happy.

“Sleeping?” The younger man asked, obviously only unwillingly stepping away from the door when Liam came closer, allowing him to enter. Well, the room surely smelled as if Niall had been telling the truth, his blinds were still halfway shut as well.

“It’s two in the afternoon.” Liam told him, closing the door behind himself as the younger man walked back to his bed, shrugging.

“It’s Saturday.” He gave back as he sat on the mattress, pulling his knees to his chest before covering himself with his blanket.

He looked absolutely awful. Usually he would have kissed Liam by the door, or given him a smile, a hug, _anything_ , but now he was just acting as if he absolutely hated that he had come.

“Do you want me to leave?” Liam had to ask, he wouldn’t have wanted to be here when Niall truly did not want him to, as much as it would have hurt him, so he was relieved when the younger man simply shrugged before shaking his head, no. “What is going on?”

“Nothing, I don’t know why you’re always so worried. I was just really tired lately.” Niall shrugged again, as if it wasn’t a big deal, as if Liam was imaging all of this.

Liam suppressed a frustrated sigh and instead went across the room to get one of Niall’s chairs, pulling it closer to his bed so he could look at him properly as he sat down. He was getting desperate at this point. 

“Niall, please.” Liam was now begging, because looking at Niall more closely, his puffy, red eyes were answer enough. Even if he HAD been tired, there had to be more, his behavior couldn’t have just changed for no reason, overnight. “I just want to help you, I can see that something is up and that you’re not feeling well. I understand if you don’t want to talk about it with me, I know I’m not always the best at these kinda things, but I promise I will try my best and-“

“It’s not about that, and you’re not bad at it at all.” Now Niall sighed, but just when Liam thought he would talk, he didn’t. “There’s just nothing to talk about.”

Liam stared at him, not saying anything at all, and Niall just blinked a couple times, seemingly not bothered by it. “Okay, then why are you being so distant?”

“I’m not even being distant, you’re not being very touchy ei-“

“Because I feel like you hate it whenever I do as much as hug you since the past few days. I was giving you space, I know we don’t- I thought maybe it’s getting too much for you. And if it is then… you can tell me. We can talk about it or- or not. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t wanna do.” Niall just kept staring at him, as if Liam was talking a different language, not saying a word. “So you’re telling me that nothing at all is going on and you just needed to sleep?”

“Yes.” The younger man insisted on it, and Liam was so frustrated, he needed a break from this conversation.

“Okay, fine. If you say so.” He sighed, not knowing how else to continue this conversation or how to get Niall to tell him the truth. Maybe he really was okay, maybe Liam was just going crazy. “I need the bathroom for a second.”

There was no reaction at first as Liam got up, but literally the moment he had taken a step towards the open bathroom door, Niall suddenly stopped him, complete panic in his voice and written all over his face.

“No, wait, you can’t!” He was almost screaming it, making Liam flinch, his confusion growing even more.

“Why not?” What the hell?! “Niall, why are you yelling, what-“

“Because, um- the toilet. It’s clogged. And, uh, you- you can’t use it. So. I have to call someone to come and fix it and-“

“Well, maybe I can look at it and-“

“ _NO!_ ” Within a millisecond, Niall had jumped out of bed and half _ran_ to throw the bathroom shut, leaning against it and trying to act normal, as if this wasn’t absolutely the weirdest behavior ever. “I don’t think you can fix a toilet. Also, it’s, you know. Kinda gross. You really don’t have to, and- I don’t want you to go in there.”

“Did you take anything?” Liam couldn’t think of anything else at this point, Niall truly looked as if he was about to lose it leaning against that bathroom door, piling on lies after lies.

“No? It’s the truth. What is wrong with you? Why are you suggesting that I-“

“What is wrong with _me?_ You’re the one who is blocking the bathroom door and pretending the toilet is clogged.” Seriously?!

“It _is_ clogged, I told you, why would I make that up, I-“

“Okay, then let me see.” Okay, Liam’s patience was slowly running out, but he could tell that so was Niall’s.

“No. It’s my bathroom, if you have to pee you will have to pee in the sink or something. Or leave.” Okay, that was IT.

“Just tell me if you want me to go.” Liam felt hurt, because it seemed like Niall was now making up these ridiculous lies just to get him out of here. 

“I just told you you could piss in my sink, if that-“

“Okay, just _stop_! Please. I have no idea what is going on with you or what happened, but this is ridiculous and you have to admit it. You can’t tell me you haven’t been distant, because we both know you have, you’ve been avoiding my texts and calls whenever we’re not at work, and when we are at work you find excuses to leave the office the whole time. And it’s okay, Niall, it’s okay if that’s what you want. But please tell me the truth, because I’ve no idea how to behave or what’s going on. And I think I have a right to know if you’re done with… with whatever we had.” Just saying it out loud in past tense made Liam wanna cry, but he kept it together, it was the only thing he was kinda good at, suppressing his emotions.

Judging by the surprise on Niall’s face though, it seemed he had been very wrong. 

“I’m not done… “ He mumbled after a moment, having looked away from Liam’s face, and then suddenly, his voice cracked as he continued, almost whispering. “I don’t know- how to say it… “

“Say what? What happened?” Seriously, what was so bad that Niall was close to tears all of a sudden?!

Silence. Niall just didn’t say anything else anymore, as if he physically did not have the words, and Liam felt himself getting impatient again. At the same time, he was worried and hurt and scared and just every emotion he could think of. 

“Niall, _please_. Whatever it is, we can talk about it, we can figure it out, I can try my best to help you if it’s not about me, or we can also talk about whatever else it is. If it is about me then I can-“

“I’m pregnant.” 

“-try to- _WHAT?!_ ” It had taken a moment to sink in, because Niall had just said it out of nowhere, quietly, and now Liam was just staring at him, with his jaw dropped, watching the younger man’s face going from sad to upset. “B-But- how do you know- how- wait, but- the pill and- your heat, I-“

“I took a test. It’s positive. It’s in the bathroom.” Again, Liam was just staring, no words coming to his brain, and it seemed to upset Niall even more. “Are you not gonna say anything?! You wanted me to talk, so there you have it.”

“I- I don’t know what to say.” Liam admitted, and he was aware he sounded a bit emotionless, but… this didn’t feel real, it just did not.

“You wanted me to tell you and you said we could talk about it and now-“

“I know, I know, but- fuck, Niall, I just need a moment, okay? I’m sorry, this is completely out of nowhere and-“

“You need a _moment?_ You came here banging on my door demanding to know what’s wrong and now I finally tell you and you don’t even say anything?! I wasn’t even going to tell you.” Wait.

“You- what? I would have noticed anyways, if you’re really pregnant, I’ve noticed a change in your scent already, I thought you were going back into heat soon and- I would have noticed. And- why would you not tell me?” Seriously?! “I’m involved just as much, I literally got you this way.”

“It’s my fault, I didn’t know I should have waited to take the new pill because I still had the other one in my system and- it impaired the effects, I think. I googled it. And I- I was going to take care of it. I just needed a bit of room and I only found out last night and- I will fix it.” Niall was talking while looking as if he was about to cry again any second, and Liam only now realized that the younger man thought he was mad at him.

“Niall, you- what are you talking about? What do you mean?” Seriously, this felt like some surreal dream, because there was no way any of this was truly happening.

Niall was still leaning against the bathroom door, the tears spilling over all of a sudden. “I didn’t- I didn’t wanna tell you, I thought… I thought I could just get rid of it and- you’d never have to know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I forgot the pill and that I’m so fucking stupid, I didn’t-“

“Niall, you don’t have to apologize, it’s not your fault, I’m just lucky I’m not the one who has to take pills, I- and what do you mean? Get rid of it?” Was he really saying what Liam thought he was saying?! His mouth felt kinda dry.

“I mean… you know.” Niall shrugged, wiping at his eyes, and Liam was even more speechless.

“You wanted to just terminate the pregnancy without ever even telling me about it?” What the hell?! What if Liam hadn’t come over today?

“I didn’t want to upset you, I was already upset enough for the both of us, I-“

“ _Upset_ me?! Niall, you’ve not committed a crime, you’re just… pregnant. With… my baby.” Liam felt weird saying it out loud, slowly, a little bit as if he wasn’t even fully there, and for just a moment, it didn’t feel bad at all, for a moment he felt relief, and maybe the hint of excitement.

But that quickly went away.

“But I don’t wanna be.” Niall sobbed, destroying Liam’s daydream and he had to blink a few times to be able to fully focus on the younger man’s tear stained face as he continued. “I can’t be pregnant. I can’t have a baby, I- I can’t, Liam. I just- can’t. I’ve never even had a stable job for over a year, I live in a one room flat, I-I- I c-can’t d-do this, I don’t w-wanna do t-this, I-“

“Hey, hey, shhh, everything is alright, everything will be f-“

“No! It literally won’t be fine! I’ve got a human inside of me and I never wanted this, okay?! We’re not even together, you’re literally my _boss_ , I can’t- we can’t do this. We can’t. I’m not keeping it.” He said the last sentence so convincingly that Liam felt himself panic, and at least that distracted him from the pain of Niall clearly stating that he didn’t want to be with him that way.

Suddenly, it was all Liam wanted though.

“Okay, can we just try to keep calm for a second to talk about it? Just for a moment? Please, Niall.” Liam was stepping closer now, stopping when the younger man flinched as he reached out for him. Fuck. “Niall-“

“I can’t have a child and you can’t make me. It’s my body.” He was just getting more upset, so Liam shut his mouth, waiting for Niall to take a few deep breaths, his shirt damp with tears. “I’ll get rid of it and then it’ll be like it never happened and it’ll be fine and-“

“I’m not saying it’s not your decision or that it’s not your body and you can do what you want, but I- please, we have to talk about it. Please. It’s my baby too.” Now Liam felt his own voice breaking at the end, because the way Niall was talking, it felt like there was no way he would keep it, as if his mind was already set and- fuck, would Niall have really gone through with that? Behind his back?!

“We can’t, Liam, I-“ Niall interrupted himself, looking more desperate now than upset, which probably came from Liam’s teary eyes. Honestly though, he was about to have a mental breakdown as well. “We can’t. I- fuck. We’re not even together, we just- and you can’t tell me you wanted a baby with me, or that you would have chosen this if you had had a choice. I’m sorry I’m so fucking stupid with the pill and- Shit. I just don’t know what to do and- I can’t be a dad, how am I gonna be pregnant for so long and live here and go to work and what kinda life is that child going to have growing up here and-“

“Move in with me. Please, we can do this, together. I’ve got more than just one spare room in my house, you can have all the days off you need, you don’t even have to go to work anymore if you’re feeling bad, I’ll support us, I’ve got enough money, it’s going to work out just fine.” The words were just falling out of Liam’s mouth, he simply couldn’t stop them, he just suddenly realized that he wanted nothing more than this and he had never even known. “Please.”

“Liam, I… “ Niall was clearly taken aback, and Liam might have taken some of it back, but he truly meant it all. “But how are we gonna… we’re not dating or-“

“It doesn’t matter. It’s _our_ baby, and you’re the dad just as much as me, you never have to be afraid that I’ll just stop being there for you, no matter what happens. I promise, Niall, I swear. Please keep it.” Okay, this wasn’t fair, all the begging, Liam knew it, he knew it was ultimately Niall’s decision, but he was truly desperate for him to keep it, he wanted to have it so badly. “It’s- it’s your decision, but I- I know we can work this out.”

There was no answer again, Niall just stared at him, seemingly not knowing how to respond, and then suddenly, he took a step forward, throwing his arms so tightly around Liam’s neck that it hurt, sobbing into his shoulder. “I-I’m –sorry… I n-never w-wanted this… I’m n-not e-even s-sure if I-I e-ever w-wanted k-kids a-and- I’m a-afraid to k-keep i-it… I’m- I’m s-so s-scared, L-Liam… e-everything i-is g-going w-wrong a-and- I-I d-don’t w-wanna g-get r-rid of i-it, b-but- m-maybe I s-should… I’m s-such a-an i-idiot… I c-can’t get a-anything r-right, I-“

“Shsh, stop it, okay? It’s not your fault, Niall. None of it. I know you’re scared… I am, too. It’s completely unexpected and I- but fuck, I know we can do this.” _And you can date me if that helps_. “I promise I’ll give you space if you move in, it won’t be like you’re just staying with me for a while, you can really live there. And I’m gonna be there for you, I’ll do anything you need and-“

“A-And- w-when t-the b-baby is h-here? W-what-“

“Then you’re still gonna be living there, of course. Niall, I… “ Liam had to swallow hard now, because he was afraid he’d say too much, reveal his feelings way too soon and in the most inappropriate situation. He just hugged Niall tighter, trying to get it together, saying what Niall needed to hear rather than what he wanted to actually say. “I’m not doing this for the baby, I’m doing it for you. We’re in this together. And you’re important to me, you will continue to be important to me no matter what and I want you to be okay and to be happy and- if you truly… if you truly don’t want it…I’ll go with you and… and we can figure this out, too.”

“I d-don’t k-know what I w-want… “ Niall whispered, he had a hiccup now as well and Liam’s throat felt tight.

“You don’t have to know it right now.” Actually, he wouldn’t have to for a while, his heat had been a bit over a month ago, so he couldn’t have gotten pregnant any time before that, but Liam didn’t wanna say that. 

“I k-know… “ At least Niall’s sobs had ceased, now he was just clinging to Liam, and stupid as it was, it still felt good to be able to hold him this tightly again.

Somehow Liam felt like Niall should have gotten tested by a doctor to even confirm his pregnancy, but the longer he thought about it, the more did things fall into place. He had been throwing up, he had had mood swings, he had been super clingy, he had been eating all this sugar and just a lot more in general, and also now that Liam silently counted in his head, Niall’s heat was overdue as well. And he smelled different, so much better than before even though Liam hadn’t thought that was possible.

He knew it was in his nature to be even more caring about Niall now if he was pregnant with his baby, to ensure Liam stuck with him, and that’s why Niall had become so clingy too, maybe without even noticing. But apart from all that though, Liam truly and genuinely wanted this and it was almost a bit overwhelming to think about how much.

“Niall?” Liam asked after a while of just holding him and rocking him a bit, waiting for him to calm down a bit. It’s just… something was really bothering him. “Would you have, um… would you have really… never told me?”

“I don’t think so, I… I was really not feeling well last night when I found out and- and when you came over and- I’ve not really thought it through yet… I was just upset and- I would have told you before doing anything… it is your baby too.” He said the last part very quietly, but it felt like a huge relief to Liam either way.

“Thank you… “ Even if it was a lie, it was calming. “How did you- how long have you known? Before taking the test?”

“Only a few days, looking back I should have realized it sooner, but- Louis commented on my smell, he literally said I smelled pregnant and- I went home and I read about how I should have waited to take the new pill and, well… I kinda knew before I looked at the test… it all makes sense now, I guess… “ It most definitely did. “I’m sorry… for lying and- for the way I behaved, I just… I didn’t know how to tell you, I was afraid you’d be really angry and… and I know you said you wouldn’t ever be, but I didn’t know if back then you just said it because I wasn’t pregnant anyways, but-yeah… I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize for that. I really get it, okay? And it’s not your fault, I’m not angry at all, I never could be… and even though it’s a surprise and it was an accident, I- it’s not just… it’s not just bad. At least for me.” In fact, the longer Liam thought about it- but he didn’t allow himself to do that. “But we can talk about it some more and- you don’t have to make any decision right now, alright? Whatever happens, it’ll be fine.”

“Okay… thank you, Liam.” Niall sounded completely defeated, and it kinda pained Liam, but he had to remind himself of how different their lives were, still, and he couldn’t expect Niall to be excited, or to even want to live with him, or _be_ with him, anytime soon.

Liam had fallen for Niall, probably pretty early on without noticing at first, and it had come a bit as a shock. Not as much as how much he wanted to have that baby though, and have Niall live with him and just- be a family. As stupid as it sounded when they weren’t even dating, when Liam didn’t even know if Niall could ever develop feelings like that for him.

He was willing to take the chance though, but at the same time, he didn’t want to guilt trip Niall into doing something he didn’t want, something that would impact his entire life. So Liam was feeling torn apart on the inside, but he would try his best to let Niall know that it was completely up to him, that there was no pressure.

Even if it would be killing Liam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there it is ;) i know youve all been waiting for it and i have to say, i enjoyed writing this a lot, even despite the drama and the fact that i felt kinda bad for both of them! but i hope i will take your fears away about niall doing what he said by saying that you are more than welcome to leave baby name suggestions in the comments for the next few chapters haha!
> 
> thank you for sticking around & all the lovely feedback as always <33 have a good week!


	12. Chapter 12

“Do you want some water?“ Liam kept asking things because he couldn’t stand the damn silence, not with this mess inside his head and all those unanswered questions and just- everything. This day didn’t feel real, maybe it wasn’t. “Or some food? You slept for so long, you must be hungry, I can-“

“No, thanks. To both.” Was all Niall gave him, never looking away from where he was staring out into Liam’s garden, a blank expression on his face that worried the older man more than just a little bit.

After Niall had calmed down enough, Liam had suggested they come to his place, but now he didn’t even really know anymore why, yet here they were after a very quiet car ride. He had also never gotten to see that pregnancy test in Niall’s bathroom, had also not really asked any further questions about his well-being or the general situation.

Really, it seemed that now, there wasn’t much more to say.

“Okay… “ Liam cleared his throat, trying to stay calm while his insides were going crazy.

He still wasn’t sure if Niall wanted to keep the baby, or if he would move in with him, or what his general plan was, it seemed he didn’t have one and was just hoping the problem would go away by ignoring it or something. It bothered Liam, the uncertainty, and it wasn’t Niall’s fault or anything, it just hurt that Liam was the only one who was somewhat excited, even though he KNEW it was wrong and that judging by Niall’s reactions, they would also never get together, but… Liam had had hope.

And now everything he had wanted without even knowing about it was right there in front of him, and he couldn’t have it. Which was even more cruel than never finding out what he could have had, to have it ripped away before it had ever become reality.

Liam had thought he was happy with his life, or had been supposed to be, so he had acted accordingly, but now it turned out that there was so much more to it all, and Niall was right there, sitting on the same couch, and they could have had what both of them had never really had. A family.

Minutes passed, and it might as well have been over half an hour of them sitting in silence, and then Liam just had enough. He was trying to be tactful, not make Niall cry again or make him angry, but he simply couldn’t do this anymore.

“Niall, we… we should talk about it.” He started, slowly, keeping his voice calm and soft, making it sound more like an invitation than a request.

“I don’t know what to say.” Niall shrugged, as if he didn’t care, but Liam knew he had simply shut down from all the stress and the crying.

Here they were, Liam, who sucked at nothing more than confrontation and communication when it wasn’t in a professional setting, and Niall, who was usually super good at those things but had seemingly gone into a state of shock or something.

And what was Liam supposed to do with that? He couldn’t even call any help, he was completely useless in this situation, when Niall needed it the most.

The worst part was, Liam had thought about hugging Niall again like at his flat, cuddling him and trying to comfort him that way because it had once before made Niall feel better, but now Liam was truly so afraid that Niall would reject him that he would rather spare himself the hurt than to just try.

“Okay, but… but can I say something then?” The older man continued, and Niall didn’t say anything, so Liam took it as silent approval. “I know y- we need to get you to a doctor, Ni. Regardless of- of what you decide to do or- you know. But we have to- for your health, and… “

“Now that we know what’s wrong with me I’m sure I’m healthy.” Great, now would Liam have to start a fight about going to a doctor?! “And it’s only a month old at most, what could be wrong with it?”

“I don’t know, Niall, but- you took one test, it could be that, you know… that maybe it’s not even that. Maybe there are different factors, maybe-“

“Louis could smell it. He said it just like that, I smell pregnant to him. I’m gonna be walking around, at the firm, and everybody will know, Liam. Zayn will know immediately, I’m surprised he hasn’t noticed already when it only took Louis a few seconds.” Right, those were the other problems Liam had wanted to wait before addressing until Niall had decided what he wanted. Now the younger man was saying them in this voice, completely emotionless, as if it didn’t even concern him and Liam got goosebumps. “What’s a doctor going to tell me that I don’t know? Some people don’t find out they’re pregnant until they’re three months along or something.”

“Niall, you- are you telling me you never wanna go see a doctor for this?” Because if he was, then Liam would definitely have to stop being so understanding and soft and force Niall to go, for his own good of course. 

“I do, just- I don’t know. I don’t wanna- if I go then… it’ll be real. There’ll be no going back, they- they will congratulate me and- I don’t know.” He said the word _congratulate_ as if he was going to choke on it, or burst out into tears any second, and Liam had to swallow hard.

“I’d go with you. Every time, I promise, if you-“

“We don’t have to talk about this now, it’s Saturday, and from what I heard from Harry it’s difficult to get an appointment and-“

“I can get you one easily, I know a good doctor who specializes in Omega health and I can just give him a call and we’ll go there Monday.” Okay, maybe Liam should have said a later date, but… they HAD to go, like, it wasn’t an option. “Niall, I know you don’t wanna talk, and I really get it, okay? I really do, it was and still is a shock for both of us, it’s a big decision and-“

“Not for you. You’re 100% certain you want it, aren’t you? You told me before. You wanna have this baby, with me, and I have no idea why but- Liam, I’m not that certain and I… I only found out yesterday, I’ve literally got a human inside of me right now and I had no idea, so _please_ just give me some time to think, okay?” Now Niall turned his head, and the look on his face paired with his words immediately made Liam swallow as he nodded, twisting his hands together.

“I’m sorry… you can think for as long as you need to, I won’t pressure you or- I’ll, um, I’ll go to the bathroom for a moment.” Liam didn’t need the bathroom, he just wanted to give Niall space, but also… he needed to calm down.

Niall just nodded a bit as Liam left, not locking the bathroom door but still closing it, sitting on the closed toilet lid for a moment, a bit longer than planned.

This was a disaster, not because of the baby, but the whole situation. 

Niall was right, everyone would smell it, and if he kept it, those who hadn’t already smelled it would SEE it. They’d have to tell their friends before they’d find out on accident, worse, maybe their families too, and it wasn’t so much that Liam was afraid of any of that, that he didn’t wanna tell people or anything, it was the fact that he knew Niall was terrified about it all, that he would have the hardest time ever with it.

A part of Liam, the one he was desperately trying to shut down, wanted to tell people right this second, wanted to tell Niall how excited he was, how much he wanted this baby and how he had fallen for him long before this day but had never really spoken up in fear of ruining what they had. Liam had never been the type to want a family, he had been the workaholic type of guy for years now, but maybe that wasn’t what he had wanted, because it seemed that THIS was what he needed a lot more.

And the problem was, Liam really did not know what Niall wanted or needed, and he was afraid the younger man didn’t either. Which was why he was so uncertain and not able to decide or talk about it, he was terrified, but he was probably more unsure about where his life would lead him if he had a baby with Liam, something that would tie them together for the rest of their lives.

Liam had no right to be sad that Niall was considering not wanting him in his life forever, but he still was somehow.

So that’s why it took him ages to come out of the bathroom again and simply start to prepare some food with the little stuff he had at home, just to give Niall some time to think and also to have something to do, something to take his mind off.

\-------------

“You need to eat… please.” Liam was saying it as if Niall was on his deathbed and about to starve while watching him like a hawk picking at his food and it was annoying. “You have to be hungry, even just a little bit.”

“Yeah, but… “ The thing was, it wasn’t really that Niall wasn’t hungry, it’s just… “I just- I can’t eat this…. “

“I know, Niall, but-“

“No, you don’t.” Niall interrupted, and he looked up to see Liam’s hurt face and in the midst of this entire mess, Niall suddenly had to laugh really loudly, watching Liam’s eyes growing wide. “It tastes so fucking bad, I’m so sorry, but I physically can’t eat this.”

“I- Niall!” Liam’s mouth was hanging open a bit, he clearly couldn’t decide if Niall was joking or not and Niall was trying hard to get it together, because he wanted to cry and laugh at the same time and this was just getting out of hand really.

“I’m sorry, but it’s true, Liam, I had no idea you have ever cooked before, I just- please don’t do it again.” Now Niall was joking, a bit to lighten the mood and switch the topic, a bit also because he truly meant it.

“I can’t believe you just said that.” The older man was pretending to be upset, but Niall could tell he was just happy that they were joking around, that Niall was talking to him like a normal person again.

The truth was, Niall could only manage to do that if he completely locked away every thought about the baby or the future or just- everything, he needed to pretend nothing was going on for as long as somehow possible or he would go insane if everything changed so quickly. This was why he couldn’t go to a doctor, he couldn’t make this commitment just yet.

Also… it had surprised Niall how badly Liam suddenly seemed to want to have a baby with him, when they weren’t even dating, so he was a bit afraid by what would happen if Liam actually saw the baby on a monitor, it surely wouldn’t make him want it less.

And then Niall could truly not make a free decision anymore, if he could still even do that after seeing Liam’s reaction, having him beg him to keep it and- he was right of course, it was his baby too, the problem was just… Niall didn’t know what he wanted or what would be best, he was afraid of making a decision that he would turn out to regret.

And then it would already be too late and Niall would have to live with it for the rest of his existence.

“I tried my best, you can’t be that cold and cruel.” Liam complained, but then he laughed and Niall tried to relax, tried to forget, for just a moment, and imagine it was just them again, spending the weekend at Liam’s like so many times before.

“I said I’m sorry, but- you never even tried it yourself, did you? You’ve got a full plate as well.” It was true, Liam had simply complained about Niall not eating, but one, he had given himself maybe even half the portion Niall had on his place, and two, he had never even taken a single bite. 

“I’m not hungry.” Liam tried to defend himself and Niall rolled his eyes, loading his own fork and holding across the table in front of Liam’s mouth.

“Open up.” He demanded, kinda as a joke, but seeing the look on Liam’s face made him laugh.

The older man rolled his eyes, hesitantly opening his mouth so Niall could put the food inside, watching his reaction closely. At first Liam was clearly trying to stick to their game and joke around a bit, pretend a little more, but his facial expression changed as he was chewing, and then he was just looking at Niall, stopped whatever he had been doing, and the next thing Niall knew was Liam spitting everything out into the sink, making the younger man laugh hysterically.

“Oh my god! Not even I had to spit it out, I was joking a bit, it’s not THAT terrible but-“

“It’s so fucking bad, I- I need some water.” Liam’s eyes were actually watery as he emptied an entire glass of water while Niall was just laughing because Liam’s heavy reaction didn’t even seem faked or anything. “I’m gonna order some food, this is- I didn’t think I was that bad.”

“Maybe your taste buds are developed so much more than mine, because of all the expensive rich people food you eat, and all the take outs.” The younger man teased, grinning when Liam threw a look at him, seemingly still recovering from that experience. “Can we get pizza?”

“Anything you want.” Liam told him quickly, and Niall knew he was just happy he wanted food and was behaving normally, but Niall chose to ignore it.

Maybe they could just continue to ignore it all until Niall had had some time to think about it in more depth, but he was afraid Liam wouldn’t be okay with that, if he already wanted to schedule doctor’s appointments and- oh god, he’d probably be okay with telling people already, maybe he even wanted exactly that and- Niall needed to stop thinking about it.

He made Liam order a ton of food, partly because he wanted it, partly because he wanted to keep the good mood they had going on right now, give the older man less reason to be worried about him and throw those puppy eyed looks at him without saying anything because it only made Niall feel more guilty.

So they did the washing up together while they waited, Niall tried his best to keep a normal conversation going, nothing about pregnancies or babies or anything of that sort. Just a normal Saturday, nothing special.

It was already after 5 by the time they were eating for real, still never having mentioned the pregnancy again, and Niall was intending to keep it that way for a while. Maybe Liam had really given up on trying to discuss this, because god knows, there was nothing to discuss anyways.

Right?

“Can I turn on the TV?” Niall asked after they were done eating, and he had volunteered to bring the pizza cartons outside, just because it was actually really nice to walk through Liam’s garden and look at the neighborhood.

The worst part of it all was, Niall kinda already felt at home here because he was here so often, but he didn’t even wanna think about what Liam had suggested before, he probably hadn’t even meant it. And even if, he just wanted Niall to live here in case Niall decided to keep the baby, so he could be around the baby, and because it would’ve kinda been irresponsible to raise a child in Niall’s tiny flat and- anyways, not important right now.

“Sure, you don’t need to ask.” Liam told him immediately, and Niall hadn’t thought he needed to, but he hadn’t wanted to be rude.

There was nothing on, even though it was Saturday evening, and so Niall just flicked through the channels a couple times, considering switching to Netflix, but then he just left on some TV show he already knew and didn’t really find funny, but also not terrible. They watched in silence and Niall caught himself biting his nails out of nervousness, his thoughts already starting to drift off and he needed a solution.

So naturally, there really was only one thing to do.

Niall tried to do it subtly as he moved closer towards Liam, moving his leg a bit as well so they were brushing, and eventually, he ended up sitting so close he might have as well been on top of him.

There was no denying that Niall could smell him even more intensely now, it had been a reason for him wanting to be around Liam so badly and he knew it was because he was pregnant with Liam’s baby, but even knowing that, he couldn’t resist it, and he knew the older man felt the same.

“Niall… “ Liam mumbled when Niall had started to kiss his cheek a few times, moving a bit as he felt Liam’s arms wrapping around him and Niall sat up so he could straddle the older man’s lap instead, pressing their lips together because he was suddenly getting impatient and needy. 

He didn’t even feel a need to take this further, he just really wanted to snog Liam right now, feeling the older man pulling him even closer as Niall slipped his tongue into his mouth, wrapping his arms around Liam’s neck when the older man moved his hands underneath his shirt, touching his bare skin.

It was so bloody good that Niall was shivering, holding on tighter to Liam as he kissed him slowly, the TV still on in the background but Niall couldn’t hear a single thing, he could just feel and smell Liam everywhere, his hands moving up and down his back, gently, his tongue moving with Niall’s because they had done this so often, the scratch of his beard against Niall’s face, the way he smelt so fucking good and… it was the best feeling in the entire world. 

Well, besides when Liam was fucking him and… a little besides when Niall could cuddle into him right before he was about to pass out.

“Take it off… “ Niall mumbled in between kisses, referring to the older man’s shirt and he felt Liam laughing against his mouth, only clinging to him more tightly as he proceeded the kiss him.

“You’re gonna have to let go of me then… “ When Liam answered, it almost felt like just that took too much time where they weren’t kissing and Niall could barely stand it, so he pressed his lips against Liam’s once more, moving his hands from around his neck to start tugging at the older man’s clothes, not really willing to separate from him though.

See, this was why Niall had done this, also because he had been wanting to snog Liam, but because he had known he’d forget about everything else going on, all the anxiety and the worries and now it was just him and Liam kissing, and nothing else mattered.

It took ages until Niall was ready to pull away long enough to take off both their shirts, kinda hastily, and Liam was laughing breathlessly because of Niall’s impatience. Once their shirts when gone, everything felt a lot more intense, and Niall pressed even closer, his crotch right up against Liam’s, but it wasn’t enough for Niall and he could feel himself whine in the back of his throat as Liam moved his hands to cup his arse cheeks, pulling him in. 

“Li… “ Niall wasn’t even sure what he wanted, if he wanted anything at all except to kiss some more and be close to the older man, but then he felt Liam fumbling with his pants, and he decided that yes, he definitely needed _something_.

They were both breathing heavily, forced to break the kiss for a while and Niall let his forehead drop against Liam’s, breathing against him as he held him close, moaning quietly as he felt the older man’s hand inside his pants, cupping his half hard erection through his boxer shorts and Niall rocked against his hand, needing more than that.

“Liam… please… “ He whispered, not doing anything at all to help the situation though, he just wanted Liam to manhandle him right now, and the older man definitely did not disappoint.

“What do you want?” The older man asked, still palming Niall through his pants and Niall breathed heavily, saying exactly what was on his mind.

“You… “ And that seemed to do the trick.

Liam kissed him again, more desperately this time, not retracting his hand until he moved Niall, half pushing him off of his lap but holding him the entire time so he wouldn’t fall off the couch as he made him lie down on his back, moving on top of him immediately.

They snogged frantically for a few moments, Niall tried to get Liam’s pants open in the process, but he failed pretty badly and it were his pants that came off first, and Liam pulled his boxer shorts off as well before fumbling with his own zipper. Niall just watched him, slowly wanking himself as he stared at Liam’s concentrated face, the way he was biting his lip, seemingly not being able to wait.

“Stop that.” He demanded immediately once he noticed, pushing Niall’s hand away and the younger man whined in frustration, pulling Liam down again so they could kiss some more, his hands feeling down the older man’s side, until he reached the hem of his jeans.

Liam had already half pushed them down, so Niall just had to move them a bit further to have the older man’s erection spring free and Liam groaned, his lips slipping off of Niall’s as he breathed against his skin, mouthing down his jaw and neck instead as the younger man moved his head back, give him better access to suck a love bite on his skin. 

He pushed one of Niall’s legs off of the couch because their space was a bit limited, moving his other leg up against his chest to have more room, and Niall basically just let him do whatever, moaning in pleasure as the older man pushed inside of him, Niall’s body giving in easily, already wet again. 

It felt so bloody good, especially after they hadn’t done anything in a few days, and Niall was sure he was moaning louder than usually too but that Liam liked it anyways, could tell by the way his breath was getting heavy against Niall’s sweaty skin after just a few thrusts, his knot starting to swell against the younger man’s entrance. 

“Liam… _so good…_ don’t stop- don’t- ah!” Niall let out half a yelp when Liam finally found the right angle, piercing prostate with every thrust now as he had to start working a bit harder to press his knot fully inside of Niall each time. 

Niall was so bloody close, and hearing Liam whispering his name was enough as he came between them, riding out his high on the older man’s knot. He could feeling Liam following close behind, his mouth right next to Niall’s ear as he came inside of him with a load moan.

For a few moments, nothing at all was on Niall’s mind except the fact that he felt relaxed and satisfied and wanted to keep Liam close, kiss him some more maybe, stay like this for a little bit. The thing was though, Liam was able to pull out of Niall almost immediately, if he had ever even gotten truly stuck at all like usually, and at first, Niall didn’t even think about it, was still too caught up in the moment, too exhausted, but then slowly… 

It was like a confirmation, the one Niall hadn’t wanted to have, the one he had been trying to avoid by saying no to a doctor for now, and he hadn’t been thinking about what would happen if they’d have sex, but now it was too late. Niall’s body of course knew it was pregnant, and so did Liam’s, it was in their nature, it was the same as when Liam’s knot wouldn’t fully expand if he wasn’t fucking an Omega, because his body knew that was the only time it needed to keep his seed inside of an Omega to re-produce.

And now he didn’t anymore, because Niall was already knocked up, and no idea why that hit so hard, but Niall was crying before he had even fully internalized it. Fuck, he was really pregnant, like, for real, there was no going back.

“Wh- Niall… “ Liam was visibly confused, he was still on top of Niall, his face red and sweaty and he sounded out of breath, but also looked really worried as the stared down at the younger man. “Did I hurt you? Did I-“

“No… “ Niall interrupted immediately, uselessly wiping at his eyes but the tears just kept coming until he gave in, moving an arm across his eyes and just letting out those sobs he had been trying to hold back. God fucking damn it. 

“What’s going on? Niall.” The older man was obviously frustrated, and it was frustrating to Niall as well, he had KNOWN he was pregnant already, it’s just… this had been unexpected, it had been meant to be a distraction and now… “Please talk to me, what’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing… “ The younger man insisted, thinking that maybe he could just blame it on his hormones, but somehow that was making him cry even more because it all came down to the same damn reason. “I’m… p-pregnant… “

There was no answer, not really, and Niall wasn’t even looking, he was just still crying and he heard Liam probably pulling up his own pants or something, moving a bit. It made Niall think he was going to just get up and leave, but instead he just hesitated for a bit before lying back down as well, slowly, moving them both so they were on their sides, somehow sharing the tiny space of the couch. Niall’s arm slipped from his face in the process, and he just pressed it against Liam’s neck while the older man was holding, slipping a leg between his so they could be closer and Niall just sobbed into the older man’s skin instead. 

“I know… “ Was all Liam said, quietly as he rubbed Niall’s bare back, not really following it up with anything else and honestly? There was nothing to say anyways, not right now and not in this situation and Niall just wanted to cry and not talk.

They stayed this way for quite a while, nobody said anything and Liam was just holding Niall close, rubbing his back and stroking his hair and eventually, Niall just ran out of tears or something, or maybe he was getting too exhausted to cry, he didn’t really care. He had no idea how long they had been lying on the couch like this, all he knew was that he kinda wanted to sit up after a while, so he did, even though he felt Liam only letting go of him unwillingly.

Niall’s eyes and face were burning as he put on his shirt and his boxer shirt, just sitting back down then, next to Liam who had sat up too, now staring holes into the younger man’s face. Niall didn’t know what he wanted right now, but it surely wasn’t just sitting there in silence, so he was grateful for when Liam put his arms back around him.

“C’mere… “ Liam mumbled, and Niall ended up half on his lap, head on his shoulder like that night he had sat in the exact same spot at 2 or 3 in the morning, and had made a scene because he had wanted to cuddle. In hindsight Niall now knew that it had been his pregnancy hormones, and his nature as an Omega, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t enjoying it. “Do you- we don’t have to talk about it, but… we can. If you want to.”

Now Liam was being a lot more careful than before, probably afraid Niall would just lose it on him again, so the younger man tried to keep it together, make use of those moments where at least he didn’t have to cry for a bit. 

“I just- don’t know what to do… “ Niall mumbled somewhere into Liam’s naked shoulder, because it was the truth. “I can’t even imagine it, I wasn’t prepared, I never thought- and it just happened out of stupidity and I- I don’t wanna… I just don’t know if I should have it, I know you said we will work this out and- but what if we can’t? What if we’re ruining this baby’s life? And ours as well in the process?”

“Why do you think that?” Liam asked after a moment, quietly, and Niall was just hoping he wasn’t hurting his feelings.

“Because… the whole situation, Liam. I know you want me to keep it and- I know. But what if you change your mind, what if in 2 years or something you think it was a mistake and then-“

“Niall, what? You think I’d just get up, kick you out, make you take our baby and leave because I decide I don’t wanna do it anymore?” Right, okay, Niall had already hurt his feelings.

“No, I- that’s not- I didn’t mean it like that, I just- I’m scared, not because I don’t trust you, but I… “ There were things Niall didn’t really know how to say, because it was hard to talk about that considering their whole relationship and even the position they were in right now, but… he had to say it at some point. He just had to. “What if I really move in, and I keep the baby and then- you know, we raise it and- everything. But what if you decide you want kids and a relationship with somebody? You know, what if- what if, like, either of us, um, meets someone and falls in love and… then what? What if we get in fights? And I can’t just live here forever, I… I just don’t know how to make this work, Liam. And I don’t know why you want the baby so much, I- I mean, I understand you want kids, but I don’t understand why you’d not mind they are mine too, and not someone’s you love and want a life with and- do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

“Yeah…” Liam answered very quietly, so quiet that Niall almost didn’t catch it, and he only continued when the younger man already thought he wouldn’t. “I understand why you’re scared, Niall, and that you can’t really trust me, because you’ve no reason to-“

“I do, but-“

“No, and it’s fine if you don’t. It’s unrealistic for me to make promises for what will happen in a few years because we don’t know, but… I can promise you this though, as your boss, as stupid as that sounds right now. I won’t fire you, I’ll always make sure you have a job, and you could afford a bigger flat, and if I talk to someone, I could get you one right now and then you won’t have to be scared about having to move in or… you know. Even if we ever fight or- I mean, by law I will have to pay you child support either way, if that’s what you’re worrying about. And not so little either, because… my job. You are gonna be financially stable, Niall, is what I’m trying to say, no matter what happens. And even if you- if, um, either of us meets someone… there’s lots of people doing a great job at co-parenting. And the reason I want you to have this baby is, well, it’s- it’s ours. And I… I never really truly considered having kids until that moment you told me and- but it’s still your decision, I’m leaving it up to you, and it’ll be the right choice, no matter what it is.” 

He sounded hurt as he spoke, and Niall didn’t know why, he felt like Liam wanted to say more but he just didn’t, it was like he was reading it from a script or something, as if it weren’t even his true feelings, but how was Niall supposed to know what was going on inside his mind?

He did have to admit it sounded as if Liam truly meant it all, as if he’d really do these things for him and as if the situation wouldn’t be as terrible and hopeless as Niall was afraid it could potentially turn in a few years.

“Thank you, I- I don’t want it to sound like I think you’d just leave me standing with no job and a baby, I just- I’ve been homeless just a couple months ago, and if I really had a child I couldn’t put him or her through that and have us struggle our entire lives, I’d rather save them from that and-“

“I know, Niall, and I’m not offended or anything, those are valid concerns, and I can just give you these promises and hope you will trust me enough and… I don’t wanna influence your decision, I know I probably already have but I- I really get it, I know you have to worry about a lot of things that I don’t. I know it’s a lot easier for me.” So now Niall felt like an asshole, but he was also relieved that Liam seemed to really get it.

Because it was true, if Liam fell in love with somebody, if he decided to have kids with someone else, a family, all of that, it would put Niall in a really strange position. Also, how weird was it to continue sleeping with his boss, who wasn’t just also kinda his friend, but then also potentially his baby’s dad AND the person he lived with?

“But also… “ Liam suddenly continued while Niall was lost in thoughts, clearing his throat a bit too long, as if he regretted even having spoken up. “Umm… just so you know, I- I’ve never, like- I’ve had no desires really to have a family, I actually was good with the way things were and I kinda thought they’d just stay that way forever and- not that I haven’t changed my mind now, but what I’m trying to say is that- y’know, chances of me meeting someone and having kids with them and- they’re not very high. But, um, of course if you want all of that with someone that’s completely fine, I was just speaking about myself.”

“Okay… “ What else was Niall supposed to say to that, really? He kinda didn’t know anymore what Liam was trying to tell him. “I mean, it can happen faster than you think, but… “

“Yeah… I know, but still.“ Was all the older man gave back, and Niall felt obliged to continue.

“Thank you, for everything you said and- I really appreciate it… and thank you for understanding.” Truly, a ton of people wouldn’t have, and Niall had already been so surprised by Liam wanting the baby in the first place and not getting mad, but the older man just kept surprising him.

“Of course… I won’t keep pushing anymore, I’m sorry I did, we don’t have to talk about it anymore and we can do whatever you want, and however you want to do it and… yeah. Just let me know and… we’ll go from there.” He was too sweet for Niall, it was true, Niall kinda didn’t even deserve it for the shit he had pulled and his overreactions, but here Liam was, giving him a free pass over and over again.

And now Niall truly had no idea anymore about what to do or how to decide.

So they stopped talking about it because Niall didn’t say anything else, but he wanted to stay close to Liam nevertheless. It wasn’t too late, but they went to have a shower later and already brushed their teeth because Niall was honestly getting tired real fast. He hadn’t slept well or for very long last night, and it was definitely taking its toll.

He kinda managed to text back Louis a while later while already lying in Liam’s bed, the older man next to him on his laptop because it didn’t seem as if he was tired at all, just lying down with Niall because the younger man had asked him to.

Niall fell asleep mid conversation about something work related, he just knew he was so tired he complained about Liam’s laptop taking up too much space as he tried to cuddle up to him and he was kinda passed out the moment Liam put his arms around him, apparently having given up on working in favor of letting Niall use him as his pillow.

\-------------

“I also found this one…wait, I’ll send it to you.“ Liam was trying not to watch Zayn and Niall working together over on the couch, with maybe more distance between them than necessary. Then again, it kinda was.

He had opened the windows too, out of paranoia, and he was hoping Niall wasn’t questioning it, and that Zayn’s ability to smell was kinda impaired so he wouldn’t pick up on Niall’s scent. It was likely that he didn’t, because almost an entire week had passed since they had found out Niall was pregnant and even though it was absolutely killing Liam, they had just stopped talking about it, as if it would resolve itself.

So since Zayn hadn’t already taken Liam aside to question him, it was likely he hadn’t even noticed, that no one except Liam could smell Niall this intensely. Well, and Niall’s friend Louis apparently, but then again, he had known Niall for so many years Liam kinda thought that that made sense.

Still, it felt really weird now to watch Niall interacting with other people, or more like, other Alphas, and Liam hated it and he hated that he cared but he also couldn’t just turn it off because, one, it was in his nature, and two… well. There were lots of things he had wanted to tell Niall last weekend, but how much more obvious could Niall have made it, that the two of them dating had never crossed his mind?

He might have as well written it on a sign or something.

“Liam.” Zayn suddenly addressed him, and Liam had to blink a few times, tearing his eyes away from Niall to look at his friend instead.

“Hm, what?” The other man was confused, had stopped following the conversation a few minutes ago in favor of over-thinking. His new favorite hobby.

“Are you ever gonna go and pick up these scripts from downstairs? They just wrote me another email.” Right, Liam had already been supposed to do that hours ago, but then Zayn had arrived and well… Niall and Zayn sitting on that couch together was already pushing it, to put it the nicest way possible, Liam didn’t want them to be alone in here, not even for 10 minutes.

“Yeah, I’ll get to it.” Liam told him, shrugging, about to focus on his own work again, but it seemed it was a bigger deal than he had thought.

“We need them, it literally takes a few minutes.” Zayn kept pushing, and it was enough to set Liam off already.

“Then go and get them.” He told his friend, trying to keep his calm. Of course Liam was more than thankful for everything Zayn was doing, he told him all the time, paid him extra, but for some reason, in this situation, he just didn’t care.

“Uh, why me? You said you were going hours ago.” Yeah, before Zayn had decided to stay.

“You’re the one who needs them, so-“

“I’ll go.” Niall interrupted all of a sudden, as if he knew it would escalate, and he hadn’t even made an attempt to get up before Liam had already stopped him.

“No. Zayn will go.” He was aware his voice sounded hard, and that Zayn was about to start a real fight, but he just sighed, putting his laptop on the desk with a bit too much force.

“You can be a real fucking asshole, you know that, right?” Was all he told Liam before walking out of the office, throwing the door shut behind himself loudly enough to make Niall flinch. Liam was still angry, but he could already feel it ease now that Zayn was gone.

“What was that about? I could have easily done it and- why didn’t you? You really did say-“

“He’s more than capable of doing it himself, I’ve got work to do.” Liam interrupted, kinda hoping that that would be the end of it, but of course not.

“Liam, he’s been helping you out so much, he still is, he’s been talking to all the employees for you, he already does more than he has to.” Niall was understandably confused, and Liam had to sigh, rubbing his hands over his face as he tried not to say it, but he didn’t know how else to explain it to Niall. “I could have gone if you really have no time, I offered.”

“I just- I didn’t want you to go and I also- I didn’t want him and you to be here without- forget about it, okay? I’ll apologize.” Even if it would kill him on the inside.

“I don’t get it, what would we be doing here while you’re gone?” Niall asked, seemingly genuinely questioning it, but then their eyes met and Liam wanted to die a little bit on the inside because he could see the moment where Niall DID suddenly get it. “Oh.”

“Let’s just forget about it, I’m sorry.” Liam pressed, feeling his cheeks heating up as he tried his best to look away from the younger man, just anywhere else really. God, he should have just kept his damn mouth shut and sucked it up.

There was a weird silence between them now, only interrupted by Liam’s typing, and he knew that it wasn’t done yet, that Niall wouldn’t just let it go, and his fears sadly became reality. “Do you feel this way all the time? No matter who I’m around?”

“I- no. Just… you know. Zayn is, um…an Alpha as well and it’s- it’s not that I’m- that I feel jealous or whatever, it’s just- I can’t turn it off.” If he could have, Liam would have long done it because it honestly hadn’t been fun the past few days. “I shouldn’t have taken it out on Zayn and I’ll apologize to him once he gets back.”

“I don’t think he will come back, he just wrote me an email saying he’s gonna work on it himself in his own office and get his laptop later.” Amazing.

“You can go and help him, if you want.” Liam told the younger man immediately even though it would have near killed him. 

There was silence again, and Liam honestly kinda thought Niall would really take him up on it, but instead he got up to come over. “No, I’m good, I’ll stay… I know you can’t just turn it off, I guess it’s the same like Louis was able to smell it, too… “

“Have you met up with him again?” Well, when would he have done that, honestly? He was basically with Liam every minute of the day, and night, since almost a week now. 

“No… I can’t, I keep making excuses. If he comments on it again I can’t lie to him if I know he’s right, so… “ Niall was walking around the table and Liam finally looked up at him, moving his chair back a bit as the younger man leaned against the table next to him, folding his fingers together and keeping his eyes down. “I, um… I’ve been thinking… “

“Okay?” Liam held his breath, suddenly really afraid of what Niall was about to say, already expecting the worst, so he tried to get his facial expressions under control.

“Because of what you said on the weekend, um… you know, about this doctor you know… “ Niall was clearing his throat, and Liam was getting even more scared, but then the younger man put his hand on his stomach, still refusing to look at Liam. “Maybe- maybe we could go there. I mean… I kinda have to at some point and- and all week I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t think that- that I could get rid of the baby and so… I’m gonna keep it.”

“Really?” Liam wanted to smile as relief rushed through him, but the he didn’t, tried to hide his joy because he knew it hadn’t been an easy decision for Niall, that he must have still had worries.

“Yeah… you want it so bad and- I want kids too, and if my life had gone differently I wouldn’t have even had to think about it, but- anyways, I wanna keep it as well, I think I’d forever regret it and wonder about what would have happened and- you know. And I… I think you’ll make a great dad.” He finally looked at Liam at the last part, hand still on his stomach, the tiniest smile on his lips.

“So will you, Niall.” Liam told him quickly, allowing himself to return the smile now as they looked at each other, and the older man slowly got up. “We’ll be fine, we can make it work, I promise. I’ll call the doctor later, alright?”

“Okay… thanks.” He was just looking at Liam now, still leaning against the table, and Liam tried to keep himself from doing it, but he just HAD to lean forward and kiss Niall on the lips, too happy and relieved as to not do it.

The younger man didn’t really seem surprised by it, he returned the kiss immediately, not really moving his own hand still against his stomach as Liam put his own there as well, something he had been wanting to do for a while but hadn’t dared, afraid of the younger man’s reaction.

There were a lot of things they’d have to figure out, a ton of things that could go wrong and they would have to tell people about it, at least when Niall would start to show. Liam was aware that it would probably put a strain on whatever kinda relationship they had, but he was truly in it with his entire heart and he would do absolutely anything at all that Niall or the baby needed. 

Even if they could never be together the way Liam wanted, at least they’d have this and Liam was more than positive that they’d make great parents, one way or another. They’d be fine.

\-------------

“I don’t know if I wanna go.” Niall finally told Liam after they had been sitting in his car in the parking lot for way too long. They had been early for the appointment so it wasn’t too bad, but they’d have to go inside the building soon and Niall was terrified.

“Ni, it’s gonna be okay. He won’t tell us anything we don’t already know, right?” Liam was being so sweet, the entire day already. They had both left work early with some excuse, but no one had probably noticed except Zayn, who… well, after that fiasco on Friday, Niall had made Liam go and apologize a couple hours later, and now he didn’t know where the two men were standing.

All Niall knew was the fact that Liam was so protective over him felt kinda good, he knew it was because of the baby, but it was still nice to be treated that way. He had spent the entire weekend at Liam’s again, they had talked about things, and Niall now felt a lot more confident about this whole situation, but he was still afraid to go into this doctor’s office somehow.

“Maybe something is wrong with the baby, maybe I did something the past few weeks while I didn’t know I was pregnant and I can’t remember it, maybe-“

“You didn’t. I also don’t think he could see anything wrong so early, your heat was like 5 weeks ago and-“

“That’s not very comforting.” Niall gave back before he sighed, his heart beating like crazy as he pushed open the door. “Let’s go, before I change my mind.”

Liam walked around the car immediately, and just because Niall really needed the comfort right now and to know he wasn’t alone, he reached out for the older man’s hand, feeling this tiny bit better when Liam squeezed his fingers. He would make the best dad ever, Niall would have never thought that upon first meeting him, but he was so caring and sweet and had Niall had to pick someone he wasn’t dating to father his children, it would have definitely been Liam.

Just walking into the doctor’s office gave Niall a ton of anxiety, but he tried to hold back as he spoke to the nurse, not wanting Liam to do it because he was an adult, he could do this, it was fine. After all, Niall already knew he was pregnant, the morning sickness hadn’t really gone away, he still had the positive test at his own flat and Liam could smell it too. And then of course, whenever they had sex, Liam’s knot wouldn’t keep them locked together anymore, so even if everything else had been uncertain, this wasn’t.

Niall had to pee in a cup and just being alone in the bathroom was stressful enough, so he didn’t even wanna imagine what would happen in a little bit.

“Nothing bad will happen.” Liam promised as soon as Niall was done and they had sat down to wait. Niall reached over to hold his hand again without thinking, pulling it into his own lap as he stared at some picture across the room. “I won’t leave you alone and I’ll go with you every time to future appointments, I promise.”

“Won’t it be weird if we both miss so much work?” Niall tried to joke, but it kinda got stuck in his throat a little. God damn it, he was so afraid and he wasn’t even quite sure why. 

“I don’t care, it doesn’t matter, okay? Don’t worry about it.” Liam was holding his hand rather tightly, which was good, because it distracted Niall a little bit. Also, it was comforting to know he’d never be alone in this, that he could rely on Liam and trust him to be there. 

Niall really did believe every word coming out of the older man’s mouth, and he knew Liam always told him it was about Niall and not the baby, but seeing how happy Liam had been about it all, it obviously had a lot to do with the baby. Which was completely fine of course, because if everything else failed and Liam would ever go back on his words, Niall knew the baby would be fine at least, that Liam would always care about their child and that it would have a good life.

Not that Niall thought badly of Liam, not at all, but there was also no guarantee he wouldn’t go and fall in love with someone in a year and that everything would change. For now though, Niall was pretty sure neither of them were even thinking of dating anyone.

“I’m trying.” Niall told him, trying to laugh but it didn’t come out right so he just held back, keeping his eyes glued to that picture, trying to think of anything else besides babies right now. “Are you gonna throw a party for your birthday?”

“What? No.” Liam was obviously confused about the sudden change of topic, but he just went with it. “I don’t celebrate my birthday.”

“Why not? I can make you a cake. I could try.” Niall truly meant it somehow, he had been thinking about Liam’s birthday a lot, it was like 2 weeks away, maybe not even, because Niall had kinda forgotten what day today even was. 

“It’s fine, really, I don’t really eat any sugar and-“

“You do whenever we order dessert.” It was true, Niall had been pretty surprised by that but he had never said anything.

“Because you always order some for me too.” The older man laughed and Niall shrugged. “You’re a bad influence on me, I haven’t been to the gym in ages either.”

“You still look the same, I would know, I’ve seen you naked more often than I’ve seen you dressed.” An exaggeration, but then again… Niall really did know Liam’s body pretty damn well. “I’m not keeping you from going to the gym, I just really don’t see why you would need to.”

“I don’t think I need to, I just wanna stay healthy.” Right… well, maybe Niall should have started to adopt this mindset, but like… he was a bit lazy, and he had also been too emotional lately, and he was afraid that that would only intensify as time went on.

“Why don’t you have a gym in your house? It would make things a lot easier and-“

“I do.” Liam interrupted, and then he laughed when Niall threw a look at him. “In the basement. You’ve just never been there.”

“I didn’t even know you had a basement, Liam, that’s- kinda creepy. Like in one of these movies where-“

“Mr. Horan?” The doctor had come out of the office without either of them noticing, the other patient leaving and Niall’s heart right about dropped. 

“Y-Yeah, um, that’s- that’s me.” Niall kinda let go of Liam’s hand automatically as he got up, but he waited for the older man to get to his feet too because obviously he would not go in there without him.

“Pleasure to meet you. Nice to see you again, Liam.” SHIT, they were on first name basis, Liam hadn’t mentioned he knew this doctor THAT well. “Please come in.”

Liam greeted him too and he threw an apologetic look at Niall as they followed the doctor inside of his office. 

“Please, take a seat, I will be back in just a moment. Mr. Horan, you’re welcome to lie down here in the meantime.” And then he left them alone, and Niall wanted to literally die.

“I thought you said the doctor is just someone you know.” Niall whispered as he sat down, not wanting to lie down just yet as he eyed the ultrasound screen. 

“We used to be good friends, but we both kinda just got caught up with work and- you know, life. Sorry, I should have told you, but don’t worry about it at all, he doesn’t know Zayn or anybody in my firm, he won’t say anything to anyone.” Liam tried to calm him immediately, sitting on a chair on the other side and Niall just nodded, not wanting to fight or anything. 

“Did you tell him that you- that it’s your baby too?” Judging by the look on his face, he had.

“I mean- yes.” He sounded guilty now, but honestly, Niall kinda didn’t care, if he was being honest, he was a bit glad that Liam wasn’t denying it in front of people, that he was still excited even now. “Sorry I didn’t ask you if it was al-“

“Okay, sorry about that. How are you doing?” The doctor came back out of nowhere, making Niall’s heart drop again, but at least he seemed to be really nice.

He asked Niall a bunch of questions, mostly related to his heat and his pills and all those kinda things, and Niall honestly just wanted to get to it, so he was almost relieved when the doctor told him to lie down and move his shirt. 

“This is gonna be cold for a moment, I’m sorry… “ It wasn’t, or maybe Niall just couldn’t feel it because he was so nervous as the doctor placed the ultrasound device against his skin, only having to move it a bit while watching the screen, and Niall didn’t even need to hear him say it even though he had no idea what he was looking at himself. “Alright… see this tiny black dot? That’s the amniotic fluid cavity. I know you already knew, but congratulations.”

“Thank you… “ Niall mumbled, not really knowing what to feel at this moment, and he turned his head automatically to look at Liam for a second.

The older man wasn’t looking at Niall, he was staring at the screen to where the doctor had pointed and the look on his face told Niall that he was more than just captivated. It made Niall feel a bit warmer to know how excited Liam was, how badly he seemed to want this. He reached out to place his hand on Liam’s shoulder before turning his head back around, telling himself to just keep calm.

“Is it, um, is it too early to tell if anything is wrong?” Just to get that out of the way too, because Niall was still a bit nervous.

“I think everything is fine. It’s a bit early, yes, you’re around 5 weeks along, usually there’s a heartbeat in the 6th and you’ll be able to see more on the ultrasound as well when you come next time.” The doctor kept on looking, and once they were done, he told Niall a bunch of things and tips, what to expect, and it was really nice.

Also, it was good that he seemed to assume Niall was going to keep the baby and that they were both happy and had wanted this. All in all, the visit had been a lot more pleasant than Niall had thought, and the doctor still gave them pictures anyway even though there was hardly anything to see.

Liam was still looking at them when they were walking outside into the hallway and Niall just watched him from the side, kinda smiling to himself. Right before they left the building altogether, the younger man stopped Liam with a hand on his arm.

“Sorry, did you say anyth-“

Niall cut him off by wrapping his arms around him, not even quite sure where this sudden rush of affection was coming from, but it had felt like a necessity to hug Liam close. “No, I just wanted to say thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for coming along, Niall… “ Liam mumbled, hugging him back tightly though and Niall let his eyes fall closed for a moment. “… are you okay?”

“Yeah… I’m fine. Are you?” Honestly, that wasn’t even worth a question judging by Liam’s face from before.

“Of course… “ Liam was half whispering, rubbing Niall’s back and they stayed like this for a bit, just holding onto each other.

It could have been a nice moment between them, and it was, for those few seconds, but then the door leading outside opened, and Niall assumed the next patient was arriving, he just wouldn’t have expected to hear a familiar voice.

“-and I also- wait… Niall?!”

They jumped apart immediately, and when Niall was staring right into Harry’s and Louis’ faces, every piece of calmness and happiness had vanished instantly.

He had picked the same bloody doctor as Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone :)
> 
> that was another close call, i literally finished editing this very second haha! i hope you enjoyed this chapter and are excited to find out what louis and harry will have to say ;) also about zayn, dont worry, im not just brushing this off, i just needed to get the doctor visit into this chapter! im super happy i get to write pregnant niall now, its already a lot of fun even though hes not even showing yet and liam hasnt shown how protective he can really get :D
> 
> let me know your thoughts if you want & have a great week <33


	13. Chapter 13

The moment was definitely worth being made into a movie or something, and it never really seemed to pass either although Niall was sure they were only staring at each other for a couple seconds before Louis spoke up.

“Oh my god.” Was all he said, his eyes huge, and it was enough for Niall to know that Louis _knew_.

“It’s- it’s not what it looks like.” Niall blurted out like an idiot, just staring at his friend, completely ignoring Harry as well as Liam’s presence right now. Louis was the one who had noticed his scent, he was the one who had just realized what the hell was going on, how many times Niall had lied to him, what he had really done all those nights claiming to be working late. 

“What does it look like to you?” Louis asked, sounding a little upset, but mostly just shocked and Niall swallowed hard, not really knowing how to speak anymore, because… well, it was over, really.

“I, um- it’s, I mean, I- I just had a, you know, umm, like-“

“A what?” The other man interrupted a bit harshly and Niall was close to tears at this point, not so much because this very moment was happening but because the stress was just getting too much at this point. First all this anxiety about today and now THIS. Fuck. “What exactly are you doing at a doctor who specializes in Omega health and mostly pregnancy with your boss, Niall? I’m a bit curious. You two seem pretty close.”

“I’m- I have an STD.” It just slipped out, really, Niall couldn’t stop it, and then he couldn’t stop himself and just started piling on lie after lie. “It was really bad and- well, I was at work and then- I told Liam about it and he was nice enough to drive me here because he knows this doctor, they were kinda friends a few years ago and- and anyways, I was just happy that he said it would all be fine. And- and this is Liam.”

“H-“

“Don’t.” Niall whispered to Liam when he was about to say hello, in the most idiotic situation EVER. 

There was more silence, Harry and Louis looked at each other, and then it was actually Harry who spoke up. “Look, it’s really none of our business w-“

“Umm?! It IS our business, he-“

“Apparently it’s Louis’, but not mine. I have an appointment. Niall, if you wanna talk about anything, you can call anytime.” And then Harry threw a glare at Louis before simply walking away and into the doctor’s office, and Niall tried not to look at his very obviously pregnant belly. 

At least one of them didn’t wanna kill him.

“So, an STD, huh? From who?” Louis kept pushing, not following Harry but seeing as he’d probably have to wait a while anyways, chances were he wouldn’t leave them alone just yet. And even if he had, it wouldn’t have changed anything.

Niall stayed silent on this one, he had made Louis a scene about not having slept with anyone, about how the other man could have ever thought he was pregnant. And yet here they were, and even now, Niall decided to lie. “You don’t know him.”

“Are you sure? Because I’m pretty certain you literally just introduced me to him.” _Please god, let Liam not interrupt this conversation by trying to crack a joke._

“I didn’t, I-“

“Niall, _seriously?!_ You’re just going to keep on lying, even NOW?! I literally just saw you two hugging as if you’ve been dating for years or something, we’re at Harry’s doctor for his _pregnancy_ and I can smell you being pregnant from freaking miles away. I already could a week ago, but it’s only gotten stronger. Me and Harry are, or _were_ , your best friends, and you can’t even bloody tell us you’re _pregnant?!_ We did everything for you and you’ve just been lying and lying, for _months_. Why?! Why do you not trust us?” A good fucking question.

“I-I I do trust you, I- you _are_ my best friends, I know what you did for me and I will never forget it, I didn’t wanna lie, I swear, I just- it’s gotten to a point where I couldn’t tell the truth anymore and then-“

“You’ve been lying about having an STD even right now in this situation. You still haven’t said the truth and I doubt you ever will. What’s wrong with you?!” He was being really harsh and it hurt, Niall knew he was angry and probably not really considering his words, but… honestly he was close to tears.

“I’m sorry, okay?! I really am, I-“

“I highly doubt it. How can I know if anything at all you’re saying is the truth now or not?! Seriously? You made up some imaginary guy you’ve slept with when you’re having sex with your boss, probably since months, and you let him knock you u-“

“Okay, that’s enough.” When Liam interrupted, his voice sounded a lot harder than Niall would have expected and he found himself flinching. “It’s not an easy situation for anybody, Niall shouldn’t have lied but I think it’s pretty obvious why he did and as his friend, I would assume you’d understand that as well.”

“That’s not an excuse?! What do you know about our friendship anyways? I’ve never spoken to you in my entire life, can you just keep out of this?” Now Louis was picking a fight with Liam and Niall was genuinely about to pass out. “You-“

“I’m not keeping out of this because Niall’s under enough stress as it is, and you’re making it worse. I suggest you find the time and place to talk about this, but certainly not here and not right now.” He made it all sound calm, but he said it coldly and Niall thought Louis would jump him any second, but then he didn’t.

“Fine, whatever. If you’re gonna let him speak for you as well now then so be it, I guess. I gotta go be with Harry now anyways.” And to Niall’s shock, Louis simply walked towards the door as well.

“No, Louis, wait, I-“

But it was too late, nothing could have stopped him anymore, and he was already inside, the door closing behind him before Niall had even had a chance to stop him. There was silence for two more seconds, and then Niall thought he was genuinely losing it.

“I-I- I need some air.” Niall brought out just in time, almost feeling as if he would choke as he half ran out of the building where the parking lot was, having to lean forward with his hands on his thighs as he breathed so he wouldn’t throw up all over the place.

“Niall… “ Liam had immediately come after him, and luckily he didn’t reach out to touch Niall, because that would have just been the last straw. “Niall, w-“

“I just- I need a moment. Please.” Niall had a hard time catching his breath and trying to stabilize it, and it really wasn’t working all too well, because with every second passing, it just seemed to get worse.

Liam did him the favor though, shutting up until he seemingly could not take it anymore. “I- let’s go sit in the car, okay? You need to sit down, I’m afraid you’ll pass out and hurt yourself. Do you need some water? I can go back inside and-“

“No.” The younger man immediately interrupted, slowly standing up straight again and his stomach immediately turned really badly, but he did force himself to walk towards the car to go sit in it and Liam unlocked it before he had even reach it.

It definitely felt better to be sitting down, but Niall still couldn’t think clearly, as if none of what had just happened had just been real. Sadly, it had.

“Why did you get involved?” After more silence and Niall just staring straight out of the window, he simply couldn’t take it anymore. He was so angry and sad and nervous and scared and- it was unbearable, he needed to let some of it go in any way he could.

“He was getting you upset, and it wasn’t fair, I know you’re good friends, but he can’t speak to you like that, even if you lied and-“

“He was right though, it was all my fault, and I never said the truth. Not even now.” And maybe he’d never do it, because now it was like, there was no need anymore, was there? “You shouldn’t have gotten involved.”

“I’m sorry, Niall, but I couldn’t just stand there and-“

“Why not? Why does it matter? Just because I’m having your baby you suddenly think you need to defend me?” Of course it wasn’t fair to say these things to Liam, but Niall was also about to cry and he just wanted to lie down and sleep forever. “I wanna go home.”

“Okay… “ Was all Liam said to that, clearing his throat a little. “You have to put on your seatb- okay.”

Niall had put it on without saying a word, leaning his head against the window, poorly attempting to force these tears back inside his body.

“Umm… “ Liam suddenly started after turning on the engine, and Niall was about to snap. “Where- where exactly am I going?”

“To your house, do you think I can be alone now?” Niall knew it was more than pathetic, but his voice also broke while he was saying it really angrily, so hopefully Liam knew how he was really feeling on the inside. 

No more words were exchanged after that, not for the entire drive. Liam’s radio turned on automatically with some really stupid song and the whole situation was so ridiculous as he struggled to turn it off that Niall almost laughed through the tears he had decided to just let drop. Whatever, who even still cared? Not him, not anymore.

Niall felt like absolute shit once they had gotten to Liam’s, now he felt guilty for what he had done not only to Louis and Harry, but also how he had just treated Liam and he didn’t find the words to apologize to him. So Niall did the only logical thing in the situation, and that was going up to Liam’s bedroom to lie face down on his mattress and cry into the pillow.

Completely normal behavior.

“I, uh… I’ll be downstairs if- if you need anything. Or if you wanna talk.” Liam had followed him with hesitation, silently, and Niall gave no answer to that as the older man left him alone.

A part in Niall kinda wished he would have stayed, but the bigger part knew that he would have just started being mean again, that he would have snapped at the older man had he tried to touch him. So it was probably for the best that he had left, for both of them.

Even if it made Niall feel like trash.

How had this happened? All of it? How had his life gotten so out of control that Niall couldn’t even pinpoint the moment anymore where everything had started to fall apart?

Maybe when he had dropped out of high school? Or maybe after failing at pursuing music, but then trying again countless other times, never learning from his mistakes? Maybe because he had stopped talking to his parents and was a disgrace as their son? Or maybe it was karma for the things he had done in the past to earn money and get by.

Or maybe, just maybe, Niall just had really tough luck.

Whatever it was, it had led to Niall being pregnant with his boss’ baby and the only two people who he knew he could have always counted on being disappointed in him and probably having lost their trust in him forever. And Niall really wished he would have just been melodramatic, but sadly, the situation really was exactly like that.

And he was afraid that things would only get worse from this moment on.

\---------------------------------------

Liam felt torn, he wanted to go upstairs and be there for Niall, but at the same time, he knew it would have only resulted in the younger man telling him to leave and to not touch him. If Liam stayed down here though, he knew Niall would possibly get upset that he hadn’t even tried to go and calm him a bit, but it was like… everything would have been the wrong decision anyways.

So Liam might have as well just stayed where he was. 

The whole situation sucked, Liam knew how Niall felt about his friends having found out this way after he had lied, because, well… Liam had done the bloody same to Zayn. It was the exact same situation, maybe even worse because they weren’t on good terms right now anyways because of Liam snapping at him last week and if he now went and told Zayn that Niall was pregnant… it wouldn’t exactly make the situation any better.

If Zayn hadn’t already figured it out, because if Louis could smell Niall so intensely, it would have made sense for Zayn to be able to as well. Then again, he didn’t know Niall that well, maybe it was different, Liam really didn’t wanna think about it. It was complicated enough as it was.

Liam didn’t really do anything, he just started to mindlessly google things and even tried to answer a few emails, but nothing worked. He was also getting hungry and he decided that enough was enough, so he simply ordered some food because maybe that would have made Niall feel better.

It did not. 

Liam knew Niall was probably on his phone so he simply texted him that he could come downstairs to eat if he wanted to, and he got a “no, thanks” as reply pretty damn quickly. Jesus fucking Christ.

It took probably another hour before Liam heard unexpected footsteps, and he really tried to get his facial expressions under control and act as if he didn’t even care when Niall entered, but it was a little bit hard.

“Your food is still over there.” Liam told him without really looking up, not knowing what else to say.

“Okay… thanks.” Niall kinda sounded as if he meant it, and he did go over to pull himself up on the counter, not bothering with a plate or anything and simply starting to eat the food out of the container it had come in.

The silence was a bit uncomfortable, but Liam had sworn to himself he would not be the one to break it again, not this time, because he always did it the wrong way anyways. So he waited instead, and waited some more, and at least it seemed to pay off.

“I’m sorry.” Niall said it in between bites, as if he had just randomly thought about apologizing, but when Liam looked at him, the younger man was just pushing his food around, looking down. “I shouldn’t have- I was being a dick. I was taking it out on you and you were just trying to help me and I… thank you. And I really am sorry.”

“It’s fine, I get it… are you feeling better now?” It seemed like it, but the younger man simply shrugged and also, his face was still quite red and puffy so Liam knew he must have been upstairs crying for god knows how long.

And he hadn’t even gone up once to check on Niall. Then again, it seemed it had been what Niall had wanted because he had come downstairs after all, hadn’t he?

“Did you, um… did you talk to them again?” Liam felt weird calling Styles by his first name, and also Louis, because he hadn’t even known of his existence until recently, so… it was also something he had been thinking about lately, they were Niall’s best friends, and him and Styles were literally pregnant at the same time, so Liam was aware that once the baby was here, they’d probably spend time with them and… a meeting like today had been inevitable. Would have just been nice if it had been under different circumstances.

“No… I mean, Harry texted me that he was sorry about Louis making a scene and that he didn’t mean it and whatever, that I can call him anytime to talk, but I… I know what I did was wrong. And I know Harry is hurt too and Louis probably did mean it exactly like he said it. I should have told them, but I- I didn’t know how.” Now he sounded really hopeless and Liam felt an urge to go over, but he didn’t.

“I know what you mean, umm… I’ve been lying to Zayn as well, he uh, he’s asked me about you a lot more than I told you.” Liam had never felt a reason to tell Niall about all of it, but now he felt like maybe he should have. “I’m surprised he’s not said anything yet about your scent.”

“You should tell him before he asks you about it, or you’re gonna have the same problem as me. But I… I think Zayn is still mad at you because of that thing last week….” Their eyes met when Niall said it and Liam just sighed, closing his laptop so he could instead rest his arms on top, and then his head as well. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Seriously, what was there to be done in this situation? Liam didn’t know how to fix it, and it was stressing him out quite a bit because he had never had anything like it happen to him. Especially with so many emotions and personal shit involved.

They were being quiet again, but this time Liam really didn’t mind, he just stayed the way he was even when he was running low on oxygen and could hear Niall jumping down from the counter. Honestly, Liam wouldn’t have been surprised had Niall simply left again because he was still in a bad mood, but he was definitely surprised when the younger man came over instead.

Niall actually pulled the chair next to Liam closer, and Liam wasn’t looking up, he just heard it, and he felt it when the younger man leaned closer, putting his hand on Liam’s back. “You said we’d work this out, right?”

“We are… “ Liam mumbled somewhere against his own skin, finally sitting up straight again because the position hadn’t been comfortable anyways, and Niall’s hand slipped. “I never thought it’d be easy… “

“Me neither, I just didn’t think I’d have to deal with Harry and Louis finding out about the whole thing before I was even able to let it sink in myself… “ Niall shrugged, looking quite exhausted, and Liam didn’t really think when he simply reached out to take his hand, and the younger man just let him hold it, squeezing back a little bit. “I guess I’ll just have to talk to them and… hope they’ll forgive me.”

“They will. St- Harry isn’t mad at you anyway. I’m sure he already talked to Louis as well. Just give them a bit of time.” Probably easier said than done, but Liam felt bad for thinking that Harry and Louis forgiving Niall was kind of a given, but Zayn… Liam had been pushing his buttons way too much, he was afraid that this would be the final straw. “Their daughters are gonna be really excited that their uncle Niall is gonna have a baby.”

“Oh, stop it.” Niall pretended to be mad, but Liam could see the tiniest hint of a smile on his face as well. “Not sure if they will be, actually, I think they’re already annoyed with all the baby talk. The older one at least… and they’ve got a bunch of cousins anyways. And I’m not even their real uncle.”

“Does it matter? They love you probably more than their real uncles.” Liam was really just bringing this up because he knew Niall was doubting himself, and his abilities to raise a child when he really had no reason to. He had 100 times more experience than Liam, which… maybe wasn’t very comforting to either of them, but it was what it was. 

“Maybe… before they find out I’m gonna have to get their dads to forgive me though, so… it could be a while.” Niall let out a humorless laugh and Liam felt bad, not letting go of his hand just yet because he really did not want to. “… imagine telling our parents.”

“I really don’t want to.” Honestly, did Liam have any obligation to even tell his father? Like, for what? “Do you not think your parents would be happy? I mean… they don’t know our situation, you could just tell them that… you know.”

“What? That we’ve been married for years and planned it all out exactly like this?” The way Niall was so amused by that hurt a little but it was kinda far stretched anyways.

“No, just… make it sound a bit different, you know. They’ve no right to complain, I mean, what are they gonna say or do?” Truly, Niall already never saw them or talked to them.

“You’re right, but then at the same time… I kinda don’t feel like telling them at all, not because I don’t know how, just because… for what? What do they even care? Would you tell your dad?” No.

“I doubt he’d even pick up the phone at this point, so no.” At points in his life, Liam had thought he could have literally died and his father would have not even noticed, and if he had, he would have found some business meeting to attend during the funeral. “What about your extended family?”

“The same. I never talk to them, they know nothing about my life, it’d be really weird to just tell them. They probably think I’m married or bonded with kids since years.” Niall shrugged again, and then he suddenly laughed. “See, after we’re done telling our friends all our problems are solved.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, but… “ But it was a little bit true.

“Now I’ve never felt better about ignoring my mom’s calls.” Okay, Liam wasn’t sure if he found that as amusing as Niall apparently did, but what was he going to say to it? Their families were screwed up, there really was nothing to add onto that. “I never thought I’d have a family again. Much less one I made myself.”

“Wh- oh. Yeah. Me too.” Niall had said it so out of nowhere that Liam barely had any time to react to it, but when he let it sink in while the younger man was already talking about something else, apparently having gotten a high from all the crying, Liam felt a lot better all of a sudden.

So if everything failed, at least Niall considered him his family. 

\------------

Liam kinda stared at the screen a little helplessly, honestly not sure how to feel about _Harry Styles_ calling him. It had taken a few seconds for him to even realize who it was and why Liam even had his number saved before he realized that it was because Styles was literally working for him. Who would have ever thought they’d speak again for the first time after so many years, because of the reason they were about to?

Or maybe it was about his deadlines, Liam still had some hope left.

“Um, Payne?” He picked up not feeling as confident as he usually would have. It seemed Harry had really chosen the right moment for this because Liam had just been attending a meeting on a different floor, so he would just be walking back to the office a bit slower than he would have usually.

Hopefully he wouldn’t run into Zayn on the way because Liam had been avoiding him on purpose and it had already been two days since they had been at the doctor’s and this whole situation had unfolded.

“Hi, this is Harry Styles.” He said it as if he was certain Liam had no idea who he was. Which made sense, because Liam himself had been surprised about having his number saved. 

“Yeah, I- I know. Hi.” What else was Liam going to say?! “Is there anything I can d-“

“Okay, can we just cut that? I will finish that book, but I actually called because of Niall.” Of course. Liam was never getting that book now if they all got forced to sorta become friends. 

“I figured.” Even if Liam had no idea what else to say about that. “Why did you not call him?”

“Because I knew he’d be hesitant to pick up the phone and- anyways, what I wanted to ask you I know he’d say no. Also, I think it’d be good if you were involved as well, I know it’s kinda… awkward, but we’re just gonna have to deal with that now.” Honestly, he didn’t at all sound as if he thought it was awkward in any way, maybe he had already gotten over it? 

“Um, what did you wanna ask?” Now Liam was getting nervous, he was walking up and down on some empty corridor, trying to keep his voice down so that no one inside their office would hear his conversation.

“I think we should all meet up and talk. If… if you’re up for that. I’d understand if you don’t want to, because two out of three of us work for you and- anyways, the reason I’m asking you is because, well, you are the father of Niall’s child.” No idea why, but it made Liam stop dead on in the middle of the hallway, hearing it like that from somebody else… it was different. “And Niall’s our best friend, he’s like, part of our family, and my daughters will probably be like cousins to your child, so… I mean, I don’t know the nature of your relationship with Niall, but… it seemed as if you were really close.”

“We, uh, we’re not together.” Liam had to tell him, he couldn’t just say what he wanted to say instead, because it would’ve been a lie. Why did Liam suddenly get the urge to whine to Harry Styles about not knowing how to tell Niall he wanted more?

“Oh, okay.” Wait, was he surprised? “Whatever it is, it’d be good if you could be there. And I think it’d calm Niall down as well.”

“Yeah, I- maybe. I will ask him if he is okay with that… “ Probably not, why did Liam’s gut feeling tell him the other man would freak out upon hearing about this phone conversation?

“That’s why I called you.” Oh. “I think Niall will say no to meeting up because of Louis and Louis isn’t keen on it either, so I thought… do you ever drive Niall home?”

“I… “ No, because Niall kinda lived with Liam already, but… “Sometimes, yeah.”

“I thought maybe you could just come over to our place, both of you. I’ll make sure the girls are with their grandparents or something and we just won’t tell Niall or Louis anything.” That sounded like the best but also the most terrible plan ever.

“I- what if he will refuse to get out of the car?” Knowing Niall’s moods… it wasn’t unlikely to happen. 

“I don’t know, I would assume he’s gonna realize that he will have to talk to us again at some point. But we don’t have to do that if you don’t want to, I just really want to work things out.” He sounded very genuine, and Liam had to admit he was really relieved to hear that because he had been struggling trying to help Niall the past few days. Even if the younger man had pretended everything was okay again. “I don’t know how Niall’s doing but I just know Louis is quite upset and I want to talk it out with Niall as well, I mean… I can imagine he’ll probably have a few questions.”

“Yeah… I think it’d be good for Niall as well… “ Not that Liam wanted to patronize him, but anyone could have seen that. “So… how and when did you think would be a good time?”

“Friday night would probably be best, unless you have other plans, but the girls will have a sleepover with my mother in law that weekend.” Well, Liam wasn’t too keen on that, but he wanted to get this out of the way as soon as possible. “I’ll text you our address and-“

“I have it.” Liam blurted out, his face turning hot when he realized he had really just said this out loud. He knew where they lived, because he had driven Niall there after his gig at the bar, which now seemed ages in the past. “I- I mean. I could just look it up. I’ve got all of your information anyways.”

“Right, yeah. Okay. You can just text me when you leave? I’m gonna be home and Louis is a teacher so he never gets off too late on Friday’s.” And Harry seemed to have stopped working on that novel as well, so they probably had a lot of free time…

“Yeah, sounds good… thanks for calling me.” Liam had to say it, because he truly meant it, even if he felt super awkward at the same time. “Also… if you ever need anything, um, you know, work wise… you don’t always have to go through Z- Mr. Malik or somebody else, you can also write me an email or… call.”

“Okay, thanks.” Then there was a moment of silence before Harry continued. “I’ve just had a really bad writer’s block, and it doesn’t really help that I’m pregnant at the same time, but I’m working on it. I’ll make the next deadline for sure.”

“It’s fine, really, don’t worry about it.” Especially now Liam really couldn’t say anything. “Just… make sure you’re doing alright and… yeah. I know life gets stressful.”

“Thank you, I was really starting to feel bad.” Then he laughed and Liam suddenly wondered when he himself had gotten so damn nice to people. Especially his employees. “Anyways, so I’ll see you guys Friday? Just text me if anything comes up.”

“Okay, yeah, I will. See you then.” And then the call ended and Liam had to remain standing there for a while longer to gather his thoughts, not quite knowing how any of this could have happened to him.

Like, really, what had the odds been for him to end up here?

\------------------------------

“- and it was really weird. And he didn’t even really talk to me the entire time we were working.” Niall hadn’t planned on telling Liam about how he had spent an hour with Zayn today, but now he had already started. “I think he hates me.”

“What?” Liam sounded as if he had been lost in thoughts, and he probably had, because he was also taking a different way today, but Niall barely noticed. “Why?”

“I don’t know… because of everything going on and… I came into the firm and now we’re where we’re at, maybe he thinks you replaced him with me or something.” Niall had thought about this a lot, because Zayn was, or had been, Liam’s best friend, and now Liam spent all his time with Niall at work and also after work, even if Zayn didn’t know that but he was being suspicious already, and then the thing last week… god, maybe they had even more problems than they had thought. “Did you ever talk to him again?”

“Not about that, no… he’s been avoiding me. I know he’s mad… did he, um… do you think he noticed your scent?” Honestly, Niall would have thought more people would notice, but Louis seemed to have been the only one so far.

“He didn’t say anything, but I don’t know. Then again, we don’t sit as close as if we were hanging out. And the window was open too. Maybe he thinks I’m pregnant and that it’s none of his business, he doesn’t know that… you know. He doesn’t know about us.” Yet.

“But he’s had suspicions for ages, I just… I don’t know. I need to talk to him.” When Liam said it, he suddenly took a very wrong turn on the streets, and it was only now that Niall kinda realized that they were definitely not going to Liam’s house.

“Uh, where are you driving to? Do you need to go somewhere before we go home?” It seemed normal to Niall to just call Liam’s house home. He hadn’t moved in or anything, but he was basically there every day and every night.

Only a few days had passed since the doctor’s appointment and this whole mess with Harry and Louis, but Niall felt a lot better in general, like, as if he could almost be okay with being pregnant and having a baby because it was easy to ignore for now. Well, minus the sickness and his emotions going crazy sometimes.

In the back of his head, Niall knew he was actually a freaking mess and just pretending to be okay, so when Liam suddenly drove into a street that was LITERALLY 2 minutes from where Harry and Louis lived… it not only made his stomach turn a bit, but he also started to feel weird about this.

“Liam? Seriously, where are we going?” Okay, now Niall wanted out of this car.

“I’ll tell you in two seconds.” The older man promised, but he kinda didn’t have to anymore as he pulled into the street Niall had feared, and stopped his car where he had already stopped it months ago, the moment they had had their first kiss. No idea why Niall suddenly had to think about this, but he was just really fucking confused. 

“What are we doing here?” Niall asked, a little panicked when the older man turned off the engine, literally _in front_ of Harry and Louis’ building. What the hell?! “If you wanna force me to go in and talk to them, I won’t. We can’t just roll up and- the girls are here and they might not even be home and- what is this about?”

“Look, I… I know this is… weird.” Liam swallowed visibly, he also looked guilty when their eyes met, but Niall was really just confused. And scared, too. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, we can also drive home, but I- Harry called me, a couple days ago and he thought we should all… talk. He said tonight would be good because the girls are at their grandmother’s place or something.”

“Wait, what? He called _you?_ I mean, no offence, but why didn’t he call me if he wanted to talk? And Louis wants to talk as well?” What the fuck? Yeah, Harry had texted him a couple times, but Niall hadn’t really known what to say, so he had assumed the other man had simply given up.

“Louis doesn’t know about it. Harry thought if he called you you wouldn’t pick up or wouldn’t wanna come and be hesitant and… he said he thought it’d be a good idea if I were there as well, but… it’s up to you. We can also just drive home, or you go in alone and I’ll wait here for you and-“

“No, no, if I go in then… then you need to come as well. You’re involved just as much.” Even if Niall was a bit upset that this had been done behind his back, but… maybe it was time to properly introduce Liam to his friends, even if they already knew him anyways, but… “This is a bit unexpected, like… I wish you would have told me so I could have prepared myself a bit… “

“Would you have said yes though?” Well … 

“I don’t know.” Niall admitted after a moment, and now he had to admit he knew why Liam and Harry had plotted behind his and Louis’ back. They might have just said no right away. 

“I’m sorry, maybe I should have told you earlier, I just… it was Harry’s idea, and I thought it’d be good if you guys talk it out. I know it’s bothering you every day and… if you get this over with then I’m sure everything else will become easier too.” Not that things were actually so hard right now, like, Niall had a job, he had a place to live, he had enough money and Liam was paying for everything anyways lately, so it was like… why was he complaining again?

Oh, right, because he was almost 6 weeks pregnant with his boss’ baby and trying to ignore it as best as possible.

“You don’t have to apologize, I… I think we should talk to them… “ Somehow Niall wanted to be mad, but then he looked at Liam, and he knew he had really just been trying to help and, well, when he had that look on his face, Niall was having a hard time getting upset. Especially lately, Liam had been so sweet and supportive and Niall was being really emotional and… well. It was complicated. 

“Only if you want to.” Liam told him one more time, and Niall thought about it for another moment, but then he nodded.

His heart was bumping fast as he got out of the car, and Niall almost reached out for Liam’s hand, but then he didn’t. They had held hands a few times lately, but Niall found Liam really only did it when he wasn’t feeling well, so he wasn’t really thinking about it. It was always like that between them now, they’d be close physically sometimes, when one of them needed it or when they slept with each other, but then other times they weren’t touching at all.

And Niall really had no idea why he was even wasting any thoughts on that because he knew he could have touched Liam any way and whenever he had wanted anyways. 

“I kinda started to think I’d never come here again.” Niall mumbled as they waited downstairs because Liam was texting Harry to unlock the door from inside.

“Wait, why? Your fight wasn’t even that bad, why-“

“Not for that reason, but they’re moving to a bigger place soon, I think maybe even next week? I didn’t think we’d figure this out until then… “ Then he shrugged, because now he’d probably have to help them move stuff. But maybe… maybe Liam could help, if they all got to know each other now. “I feel a bit stupid about it all, like… I could have just called.”

“It’s fine, I’m sure you can talk it out in a bit.” Liam comforted him, petting his shoulder a bit before they heard the door unlocking and Niall’s heart just sped up even more.

“I hope so… “ Well, at least Harry wasn’t mad at him, probably just hurt. Maybe Niall could make it up to him somehow, because… he kinda needed some advice and someone in the same position to tell him what to expect.

When they walked up the stairs, Niall was definitely regretting it and thought about jumping down those flats of stairs, but then they were already there, and he didn’t even have another second to share a look with Liam before Harry had already opened the door.

“Hi, c-“

“Who is it?” Louis yelled from somewhere in the living room, and Niall felt his blood freezing.

“Niall and Liam.” Harry told him calmly, flashing them a smile. “I invited them over so we could finally talk.”

“Wait- _what?!_ I swear, if this is a joke-“

Louis had come over immediately, stopping dead in his steps when he saw them, still in the hallway, and Niall locked eyes with him on an instant, regretting having agreed to this.

“Why?” Was all Louis asked, directed towards Harry, not even saying hi or whatever, and yeah, Niall got it, but like… they were all adults, right?

“I mean, your reaction kinda tells you why, don’t you think?” Harry gave back, stepping away from the door so they could enter and Niall was a little bit embarrassed as he put a hand on Liam’s back to give him a soft push and signal to him to go inside first.

This was just more than bizarre. 

“You could have told me. Maybe I didn’t wanna do this. Maybe I don’t wanna talk. Also… Sorry, but this is just super awkward.” He was right about that.

“Then don’t make it bloody awkward, just sit down, Lou.” Harry was now rolling his eyes and Niall wanted to laugh, but he also wanted to cry a bit. He hated all of this so much, and at least Harry wasn’t upset with him, he even gave him a smile and he felt like he should have said something, but he didn’t know what.

So Liam had to help him out.

“I really appreciate that you called.” Liam told Harry, and Niall couldn’t help but think that him and Louis were behaving like children in a fight, needing somebody to figure it out for them. In this case… Liam and Harry. 

“No worries, I think it will be good for all of us. And I also can’t stand Louis complaining about it every day anymore.” He made it sound like a joke, but judging by Louis’ reaction… 

“As if I have so much time on my hands that I think about it every day.” He huffed, but he had sat down on the couch, not looking very up for this conversation.

“Sit down wherever you want.” Harry was ignoring Louis and mostly speaking to Liam, because, well, Niall had literally LIVED here, he had been here so many times, he usually sat wherever and whenever he wanted anyways. 

So they all sat down, Niall made sure he was next to Liam and NOT next to Louis, and Harry kinda sat on the armchair and it was really the most uncomfortable meeting ever. To think that they were sitting on the couch Niall had slept on way too many times, and now he was here with Liam, and he was pregnant and- if he thought about it in too much depth, he’d just go insane.

There was silence until Harry was the one who sighed, probably because he was realizing he would have to play narrator now. 

“Okay, I’m just going to say it because I doubt Louis will, but, Niall, we’re not mad at you and-“

“Well-“

“Ignore him. And we are always here for you, if you need anything at all, you know that. I do have to admit I was a little hurt you didn’t tell us, but I… I understand why you didn’t. And I have no idea what’s going on between you and Liam, but if you’re happy then that’s all I, _we_ , care about. And if anything… I know what it’s like suddenly being pregnant when it doesn’t necessarily seem like the greatest moment in time and… I didn’t go telling people about it right away either.” That had been Niall’s only hope, that Harry would be able to relate, but it seemed he was the only one.

“Okay, but, Haz, I told you, it’s not the problem that he didn’t tell us, it’s the fact that he’s been lying. Not even to _you_ , to me. I have a right to be upset about that.” Sadly, he did.

“He’s right there, you know, you can just say it to him.” Harry gave back, and Louis sighed, seemingly not up for this conversation at ALL, and Niall swallowed, but he did force himself to look at his friend. 

“Okay, Niall, I’ll tell you why I am mad. If you were literally just pregnant and we had found out this way then, fine, I get it, as Harry said. But that’s not even close to everything else that happened. You’ve been living here, with us, and whenever we spoke about all those nights you didn’t come home, or had to _work_ late, or even the bloody night you obviously made up this James guy you slept with, it’s all been lies. I asked you multiple times, and you continued to lie. And when I told you how you smell to me, you continued to lie about that as well, and made me feel like I’m crazy and got all angry, and you STILL tried to lie at the bloody doctor’s office. And not even all of that is the problem, it’s that I now know you would have literally never thought about telling us. You would have probably just told me you were eating too much the moment you were starting to show.” Well…

“I… I wouldn’t have… “ Niall tried to defend himself, but did he really know?

“Why would I believe that now? Seriously? I’m not even that mad, I’m just… hurt. I thought we’re really close friends, you’re family to us. And I know your situation wasn’t easy and I get that, I really do, but I always thought I’m someone you trust and can talk to. And Harry as well.” See, now what was Niall going to say to that?

Louis was right, Niall had broken their trust, and he really had no way of making that undone. And obviously Louis felt more hurt because he was the one who had asked Niall about it more often, who had noticed his scent and now… he had confirmation that Niall had been fabricating stories and had only told them the truth when he really had had no other way of explaining it anymore.

“I know… I’m sorry. I know that’s not- that doesn’t help. But I really am sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you, I… I was scared how you would react and… I mean, Liam _is_ my boss and in the beginning it was like… I mean, now we’re friends, but… it was different then. I didn’t know what to say, I know you would have told me to stop doing it.” It was awkward, talking about it with Liam next to him, but he knew the older man knew he was just saying what they both already knew. 

“I mean, probably.” Louis shrugged, looking away, probably also thinking it was weird with Liam right there. “I don’t know if you guys are together or whatever you’re doing, but… if it’s working… and I mean now you will kinda be in each other’s lives forever anyways, so… “ 

Somehow, Niall didn’t wanna say they weren’t together, because he had no idea how to explain, because he didn’t even know anymore what they were. Sure, they were friends, but they were also fuck buddies, and besides that, he was also doing other things with Liam he would have never done with a friend, so like… he had no way to explain it.

So he just… didn’t. And then no one said anything else after that and the awkwardness of the situation just became even more apparent.

“Does anybody else know?” Harry spoke up, and Niall leaned back, signaling that Liam could do the talking now. 

“No one, no.” He shook his head once, and Niall almost wanted to laugh even though he wasn’t even amused. “We’ve… we’ve not even known for 2 weeks either.”

“What are you gonna do about work?” Good fucking question.

“I mean, nobody would expect that… you know. That I’m involved.” Liam started, but then he cleared his throat. “Um… except Zayn. He’s, uh… my best friend, so… “

“So, you’re lying to him as well?” Louis threw in, and Niall could literally hear his thoughts at this moment. He thought they were both idiots. “Where do you guys think this is getting you? I understand not telling your parents or random people, but your _best_ friends?! I mean, they are your friends for a reason, right? I even get not telling somebody right away, but like… did you even wanna tell us or do you regret it? Do you wanna tell Zayn? What are you two even doing? How are you even going to manage this? Niall lives in a one room apartment, you work together, you’re apparently not even dating, I mean… “

Niall knew he wanted to say a lot more things that he couldn’t say when Liam was there and Liam probably felt that as well because he actually sounded quite upset when he spoke up.

“Obviously Niall can stay with me, we’ve already talked about all of it. Why does it matter if we work together or if we’re dating? It’s our child and I will always be there for both the baby _and_ Niall. I know we don’t know each other, but you can be certain I would never get up and leave him alone, both of us did this, we’re in it together and I could support both of us just fine if Niall couldn’t go to work anymore. As Niall said, we are good friends.” Thank god for Liam. “Also, I do plan on telling Zayn and possibly other people, but we’ve known for 2 weeks and most people don’t go around blabbering about it until they’re 3 months at least. Niall is 6 weeks.”

“That is true… “ Harry threw in quietly, shrugging a bit. 

“Yeah, people who were actually trying to get pregnant to make sure everything is alright.” Louis gave back, and honestly, Niall didn’t really see a way to calm him. “And it’s not even about that. It’s that you lied like 5 billion times, Niall.”

“I know…” What else was Niall supposed to say, it was true. “I didn’t do it because I don’t trust you or because you guys are not my best friends, I just… I didn’t know how to say it or how to explain it because I didn’t really know what we were doing in the beginning, and neither did Liam, we just… you know. And then time passed and I couldn’t tell you anymore and then… this happened.”

“I’m not saying I don’t get it, but I’m still mad.” Great. “And it’s really fucking strange that Liam is here right now and that we will probably know him forever now. Although, you’re not as much of an asshole as I thought.”

“Uh, thanks?” Liam seemed unsure about the comment, and Niall saw him exchanging a look with Harry, who got clearly uncomfortable in his seat for a second.

“You did ignore a couple emails.” Harry argued, and Niall suddenly felt like this conversation had turned into something else. “And I’ve literally never seen you again after our first meeting and only ever met with Zayn.”

“Yeah, I… I’m sorry about that, I’ve… been trying to change things currently. With employees and… clients.” Liam cleared his throat, and now Niall felt bad for him as well and he regretted having come here at all. 

“No need to apologize, I didn’t really care. But… Zayn doesn’t know? Because I’ll be meeting up with him soon.” Yet another problem.

“No, he doesn’t… yet. I am going to tell him, but I… I don’t know when, so- if you could just… please, not say anything.” Liam’s face had turned red and Niall would have reached out for him, but he didn’t wanna do it in front of the other two. 

“I wasn’t going to.” Niall wouldn’t have expected him to, he was aware that Louis seemed to have a lot more stronger opinions about it all. “So, do we all agree that we will have to move on from this and just accept it? I mean, I know you guys probably didn’t want this to happen, but since you’re deciding to keep it- wait, you are… right?”

“Um, yeah.” Niall answered before Liam could, because even though he was kinda trying to avoid thinking about it most of the time… the longer he thought about it, and about how much Liam wanted it, the more he wanted it as well. 

“It’s still a happy occasion. Right, Louis?” Harry actually kicked Louis’ foot with his own and the other man shrugged, obviously not very happy and probably also not having forgiven Niall fully, but he seemed calmer now.

“I guess. It’s not that I don’t think it’s exciting, it’s just… the whole situation. It’s… strange.” More than that. “But… of course we’ll be there if you guys need anything and… well, I assume Harry will be your number one spot if you need other kinds of advice, so… but, um… I don’t wanna fight anymore and… it is what it is.”

“Thank you… “ Niall had to thank him, because it was the most he could have expected of Louis right now, and the other man just nodded, but at least Harry seemed thrilled to have gotten what he had wanted.

They stayed for a little bit longer, not very long, both of them declined something to drink, and Niall did go to hug Louis goodbye, which the other man didn’t refuse and he made a joke about Niall smelling quite bad, so that was a start. Or something. 

Niall also noticed Harry saying something to Liam, but he couldn’t hear it over Louis’ laughter over his own joke. Whatever, at least this was done with and they could hopefully just move on.

\--------------------------

“I feel better now… thank you.” Niall told Liam as soon as they had gotten home, they had also talked in the car, but Liam had been a little bit distracted by what Harry had told him right before leaving. 

“It wasn’t my idea.” Liam shrugged, but he was relieved that it had had a good outcome and that Niall seemed a lot more cheerful now. Liam felt better too, but at the same time it had also made him more nervous. 

“But you agreed to it, and you came along. And you gave Louis the facts when he tried to tell us our situation is hopeless.” They had literally just taken off their shoes, so Liam was surprised when Niall suddenly hugged him, rather tightly as well. 

“It’s not at all hopeless.” Liam promised, hugging the younger man back, a little disappointed when Niall leaned his head back a second later, but apparently he just did it so he could smile at Liam while still holding onto him, so that was fine. “He was just upset, but I think it’ll be fine, he probably just needs a bit more time.”

“I hope so… “ The younger man shrugged, and then he leaned in to kiss Liam out of nowhere.

It was only now that Liam realized they hadn’t really kissed at all today, and also not really touched except this morning waking up, and he felt some anxiety falling off of him as he tried to think about nothing anymore except the way it felt to be so close to Niall right now. 

When the younger man pulled back, Liam went with him to kiss him some more, making Niall laugh against his mouth. “I really need to pee.”

“Okay, sorry.” Liam smiled, kinda not wanting to let go of him, but he was forced to anyways, and at least Niall pecked him on the mouth one more time before turning around.

On one hand, Liam felt happy, on the other hand, he felt fucking anxious about a lot of things. Things that had mostly been induced by what Harry had said to him just now, and Liam honestly had no idea what to do with that.

_I think you should probably tell him how you feel about him._

Like, first of all, Liam hadn’t even been obvious about it, they had just been sitting next to each other and second of all… what did Harry think Liam was going to do with it? That he’d just go and tell Niall how he felt right after walking out of the door when he hadn’t managed to do it for weeks now?

By not saying anything at all and just looking stunned though, Liam had basically confirmed it to Harry anyways, so now he would have to live in constant fear that Harry would tell Louis and then it’d somehow get to Niall- god. Liam was going to die.

“Are we ordering food or do you want me to try and cook?” Niall made Liam flinch because he had come back so suddenly, hugging him from behind and suddenly having gone back to being his clingy self again. Not that Liam would ever complain.

“Whatever you want.” Liam told him as usual, petting his hands on his stomach a bit, trying to hold onto the moment for as long as somehow possible.

They did order food, of course, and they ate it on the couch tonight with Niall sitting way too close, and his head ending up in Liam’s lap pretty much the moment they were both finished, not bothering to go and get rid of the leftovers just yet.

The TV was on but neither of them were really watching, Liam was just absently playing with Niall’s hair, having a bit of trouble reaching his phone on the table when he heard it vibrate for a second.

At first, Liam was confused because it was a text from an unknown number, but then he almost had to laugh. 

“What?” Niall asked, looking up at him from his lap, refusing to move though.

“Apparently Harry gave Louis my number and he just texted me to say he was sorry about saying he thought I was an asshole and that I better keep my promises to you or he will kill me.” It was funny, but also heartwarming if Liam was being honest. “So, if you needed confirmation that he cares about you still… there you have it.”

“I can’t believe he wrote he would kill you.” He genuinely had written that, Liam even showed Niall the screen, but he could also tell that the younger man was a little happy over it. “Maybe our friendship isn’t totally ruined yet.”

“It’s not ruined at all, Niall, he was just upset.” Liam tried to calm him, but he also genuinely thought that. It had been obvious, and Louis had even said he was more hurt than genuinely mad, which was equally as bad but… Liam was positive he would forgive Niall. Maybe already had. “I think Harry wouldn’t allow him to stay mad at you.”

“Probably… it’s kinda weird that you’ve known Harry for so long but not really and now you know them both and it’s like… all of it is a really weird coincidence, isn’t it?” More than just that, and Liam didn’t really know what to say to that, and just for the split of a second, he actually considered Harry’s words, but then Niall suddenly moved. “Oh, my phone. I bet Louis just texted me some shit about wearing protection or whatever.”

At first Niall laughed, and Liam was more busy with himself because he was suddenly shocked over how close he had come to telling the younger man, but then Niall sat up all of a sudden, turning around on the couch to face Liam with wide eyes.

“Um, what? What did he text you?” Immediately, Liam started to feel nervous, thinking it was really bad, and Niall needed a moment to find his voice.

“It’s not from Louis.” He started, and Liam’s mouth was already open, but there really was no need for him to ask anymore. “Umm… it’s from Zayn.”

“What?” Liam literally thought it was about work related things, but then Niall quietly handed him his phone and Liam felt his stomach sink uncomfortably. 

_Zayn Malik 20:04  
I thought kinda long about texting you, but I don’t want you to think that it had anything to do with you when you hear the news. I’ve quit my job, I already sent Liam an email ten minutes ago. You did nothing wrong and I really enjoyed working with you and I’m still glad I got you this job. I hope you feel the same. Also, I know it’s not my place to say anything, but I couldn’t help but notice, so… congratulations :)_

Was this… for real?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys :)
> 
> i hope you liked the chapter! im sorry for sort of another cliffhanger, but at least they had a talk with louis and harry! i want the focus to be a bit more on nialls pregnancy now, and i might ever so often skip in time a bit so i can make use of the pregnancy knowledge i aquired for this fic hahaha!
> 
> anyway i feel like its been ages since i updated even though its only been 7 days! my week has been crazy and i got up at 7 today expecting a call because of my internship and the woman only called me at 2:30 PM so that was... unnecessary lmao!
> 
> let me know your thoughts & have a good week!!! <3


	14. Chapter 14

_Liam,_

_I know this is completely out of nowhere for you and that it will cause issues within the firm, but I am confident you can solve them quickly. The contract I signed allows me to quit within a two weeks notice, so I will be taking the remaining weeks of my vacation days starting Monday. I attached my letter of resignation._

_I know you’re thinking that I am doing this because I’m upset because of what happened, of what’s going on with Niall and everything I know you’ve been keeping from me. But the truth is that I wanted to quit countless times before Niall ever even came into the picture. You were, and still are, my best friend, and I guess it is true what they say, that working with your friends is not a good idea._

_We did manage to work together fine, I suppose, for a while. But over the years I’ve started to notice our friendship suffering as a result, and it was more and more limited to the office. I know you’re busy, you love your work and what you built, and that is completely fine and I am happy for you. I do believe that now you’ve started to work out your issues with the employees, the firm will thrive again. You don’t need my help for that anymore & so I don’t feel bad for leaving._

_I am trading this for a chance for us to be normal friends again, outside of work. Friends who actually talk about things and take part in each other’s lives rather than simply being colleagues that call each other by their first name. Please don’t text or call and ask me to stay, or tell me that you’re sorry, there is no need. I’m not mad and I get it, I know what’s going on between you and Niall, I know he is pregnant with your baby and I hope you guys can work this out. I will be there if you need me anytime._

_Just please take some time to think about it at all before you call, and think about whether you still want this friendship or not. I would also appreciate some time for myself, too._

_Talk to you soon,  
Zayn_

Niall didn’t know what to say after he had silently watched Liam read the email on his phone before he had handed it to Niall, not speaking a word. When the younger man was done, his throat felt a bit tight as he locked Liam’s phone, a little afraid to look at him.

His facial expression was undefinable and Niall suddenly felt like a drama queen for the fit he had thrown after their encounter with Louis and Harry. Now he suddenly realized how incredibly lucky he had been, still was, to have them as his friends, to have them help him whenever they could, forgiving him all his lies and whatnot.

And here Liam was, having tried to be there for Niall, enduring his emotional breakdowns and the younger man taking his anger out on him, and now his best friend had quit his job and possibly their friendship. 

So it was Niall’s turn to comfort Liam, but he felt so guilty for it all that he really had no idea what to say right now. 

“I’m… I need to drink some water.” Liam was the one who spoke up first, his voice also sounding as if he was numb, and he never took his phone back as he got up off the couch.

Niall watched him silently as he walked over to the fridge, doing it all so slowly that it almost felt strange. He just kept standing there then, with his back turned towards Niall, drinking water, and then doing nothing at all. It took quite a while for Niall to realize that he was probably crying, but when he did, he jumped up immediately. 

Niall didn’t hold back or hesitate, he just wrapped his arms around Liam from behind, tightening them around his stomach as he pressed his face up against the back of the older man’s neck, kissing his skin briefly. 

“I’m sorry… “ There was nothing else to say, nothing else to do, and now Niall really got how helpless Liam must have felt during all his freak-outs and crying sessions. He wasn’t even sure if Liam was crying or not, but Niall was pretty damn sure he was and it was really breaking his heart.

Didn’t help that he was already feeling so much more emotional lately, because now he wanted to just cry with the older man.

“’s not your fault… “ Liam mumbled, his voice very quiet but still sounding strained and Niall was just happy when he held onto his wrist, so that meant he couldn’t have hated the hug too much. 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Li, he- he said he just needed some time, right? And that you’re still his best friend, and that he’s going to be there if you need anything and-“

“I know.” Liam interrupted, right before taking a very shivery breath. “But he… I’m the worst friend in the world. I’ve been for years and… and now… “

“You’re not, Liam. You were just really focused on building your firm and on your work and that’s fine. You gave Zayn a job, and he enjoyed it. It just didn’t work out, I mean, I don’t think I could work with Harry or Louis in the same firm, it’s just… you know. But it’s not your fault.” Or was it? Niall didn’t know them for too long, he had no idea how they had been years ago, he would never find out.

“It is my fault… he even wrote that. He’s come to me so many times asking to hang out again and- we’ve grown apart over the years but it was my fault, I made no effort and… I took his help at the firm for granted and I- I was a horrible friend. He asked me about you so many times and I lied and lied and- and he’s had it figured out all along and… f-fuck.” If he hadn’t before, NOW he was crying.

“Liam… “ Niall mumbled helplessly, wanting to let go so he could look at him, but Liam held onto him, so Niall stayed where he was, tightening his arms instead. “I wish I could do something to help, I-“

“You are… “ The older man told him, so Niall never finished that sentence even though he still felt kinda awful about it all. 

Instead, he just kept holding onto Liam for quite a while until Liam allowed him to let go. Niall really only did it so he could step around the older man and look at him, keeping his hands on him at all times because he knew he liked Liam doing that whenever he wasn’t feeling well. Which, was a lot more often, to be fair.

There really was nothing to say, Liam’s face was a bit red and wet from the tears and he tried to wipe them as they were facing each other, but Niall was faster as he reached out to softly wipe his thumbs over the older man’s skin before stretching a bit so he could kiss his cheek. 

“We, um… we don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to, but… I’d be happy to.” Niall tried as he settled his hands on the older man’s hips, still feeling helpless as he stared up at him and his sad face. 

“I don’t really know what there is to say… I mean, he quit, so… I don’t know how we’re gonna manage without him and… it’s gonna be really difficult and stressful and- but it’s my fault and if I were him I would’ve probably left a whole lot sooner… I’m an awful boss and I’m even more of an awful friend and-“

“No, you’re not, stop it. You’re neither of these things, Liam, okay? Zayn left so he could save your friendship, not because he wanted to end it. He probably feels the same way Louis and Harry felt, and they forgave me too. We both shouldn’t have been lying, but we did, and we can’t change that anymore. We can only try to do it better from now on.” Although Niall still wasn’t sure if he wouldn’t have done it all the same again had he been given a second chance, but that was besides the point.

“It’s not really about what’s going on between me and you or the baby, I- I don’t think Zayn is even really that upset that I didn’t tell him. It’s about everything else, it’s years of us not really talking anymore or hanging out and… he even texted you that it has nothing to do with you. I’ve had it coming for years, I think… when I had that talk with him a while ago, before I started talking to my employees more… he already hinted quitting and I thought he didn’t mean it, but… he did.” Liam let out a humorless laugh at that and Niall felt even worse because he couldn’t even deny any of it. “It’s not a one time thing like with you and the other two.”

“But he even said he wants to remain your friend, Li, he-“

“But that doesn’t change what I did, does it? I did it for so long too, and he tried to talk to me multiple times and I just… I never listened and never changed anything. No matter what, I broke his trust and I neglected our friendship and… he’s quite literally the one friend I have and I still did that. I just… I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He said it as if he truly expected Niall to answer that, but the younger man was still speechless because… what was he going to say? He didn’t even know Liam for THAT long, even if it felt like it, and also… he knew Liam was right, he had neglected his friendship with Zayn, for years. “We can only hope that baby doesn’t inherit any of my traits, because it will not have any friends and also no communication skills a-“

“Okay, stop, don’t say these things. This has nothing at all to do with who you are, you’re actually really good at those things you claim you suck at. You’ve just been really focused on working and being a CEO, and that’s just how it is. But you’re also super sweet and you put up with all of my breakdowns and accusations and you always try to make me feel comfortable and be there for me. And yeah, sure, when I first met you, I was scared of you, I thought you were an ass, but you are literally the opposite of that. And I know that, and Zayn knows that. I know that… whatever happened in your family, it wasn’t easy, and it probably led to where you’re at now, but it still doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re a really good person, Liam, and I hope the baby will get as much from you as possible.” Niall would have not said it had he not meant it, but he genuinely did.

“How can you say that, I-“

“Look at everything you did in life, Liam. It’s amazing and you’re so young. I would like my child to have that much ambition and so much passion as well. And to be as caring and sweet as you are. So why would I not say that?” Truly. “Plus, you’re also not that bad looking, I guess.”

“Stop joking around, I’m not in the mood… “ Liam mumbled, but his face had gotten red and there was the hint of a smile on his face as Niall grinned for a second. 

“I’m not joking. It’s the truth.” The younger man shrugged, rubbing his hands up and down Liam’s side before he stretched to kiss him on the lips. “It’ll be fine. I know it. I’ll help you to sort everything out at work and after both you and Zayn had some time to think, you can talk about it all. He might be right, you know, him quitting might be the best thing for your friendship any of you could have done.”

“I still feel awful for letting it get like this… I don’t even deserve for him to still be my friend. And I feel even more awful that I’m only really feeling this bad now that he quit… I was so focused on everything else and now… “ He shrugged a bit helplessly, but he squeezed back Niall’s hands when the younger man grabbed a hold of his. 

“You can’t change it anymore now, Liam. You need to talk to Zayn and then you will just have to do it better in the future. In the long run, you might be happy he quit and you were able to solve your issues and remain friends this way.” Hopefully, or Niall would truly have no idea anymore about what to say to Liam.

“I just hope you’re right… “ Liam sighed, but at least he didn’t look close to tears anymore, so that was something. “Maybe I should text him or something, I mean- I have to react somehow… but he said he needs time and-“

“I could answer him, he texted me too. And I could just tell him how you feel. Or how I _think_ you feel. So he’ll know you read the email and that it doesn’t leave you cold and that you are giving him the time he asked for… and taking some for yourself.” No idea what Niall would write, but Liam seemed very happy with that idea.

“Yeah, I- maybe we could do that. Thank you.” He looked a bit relieved after that, so that gave the younger man a bit of hope that maybe he wasn’t being completely useless in this situation.

So he pulled Liam back to the couch by his hand, letting him know what he was texting Zayn – just a short message telling him thank you for the congratulations, that he was sorry about how things had turned out, that Liam had read the email and was quite distraught but that Niall had told him to give them both some time. It seemed Liam was a lot better spirited after that, but it was possibly also just a way for him to cope with this whole situation.

So when Niall asked him to come and have a shower with him, the older man seemed more than happy to oblige. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Niall had to laugh, he was still wearing his boxer shorts as he noticed the older man’s stare, his own eyes getting stuck on Liam’s bare chest, and it was obvious he felt caught as he licked his lips.

“I wasn’t, I was just- sorry.” He cleared his throat, still half dressed, but neither of them continued taking off their clothes and it took a moment for Niall to let it sink.

Right.

“I don’t think I’ll start showing for ages… “ Niall looked down at his own flat stomach as he mumbled, for the first time really taking a look at it in front of Liam’s mirror. He didn’t really have any muscles, not like Liam anyways, but Niall had never really cared about how his body looked. And he didn’t now either, but the thought of his stomach growing… it was really only sinking in this very moment. “Like, when does that happen? I should know from Harry, but I forgot.”

“When you have clothes on probably not for a really long time. But I don’t know… I don’t really know anything about that.” Liam was slowly coming over and Niall didn’t flinch when he reached out to touch him because he had seen him in the mirror. He still felt goosebumps on his skin from the older man’s hand on his hip. “We should probably inform ourselves… “

“Maybe, but the doctor will tell me anyways. And I’ll feel how I feel, I guess… I’m already sorry that you will have to deal with my moods because I have a bad feeling about this.” Niall joked, but he was actually speaking the truth and the older man laughed as he kissed the side of Niall’s head. 

“I won’t mind, it’s not like you can help it and I… I wouldn’t wanna trade with you, so… I wanna do what I can to make sure you’ll feel comfortable.” See, there it was again, Liam being the sweetest person alive, even after what had happened earlier and he had been feeling down. 

“Thank you… I will try my best to not freak out over everything again or blame you or-“

“Niall, it’s okay. We don’t know what’s going to happen and I do hope it won’t just be bad memories after.” He sounded slightly scared, and Niall was too if he was being honest, like… maybe it would be totally awful, traumatic even, who knew? 

“It kinda still hasn’t really sunk in yet, if I’m being honest.” Maybe it never would if Niall really only started showing after months, like… some days he kinda even forgot about it. “… where did you put the pictures?”

“Uh, in your bedside table drawer.” Had he really just said _Niall’s_ bedside table? “Hey, um… do you still wanna shower?”

For a second, Niall was confused, lost in thoughts still about how apparently he owned things in Liam’s house now, but then their eyes kinda met through the mirror and suddenly, Niall really did not wanna take a shower anymore. “No, screw that. Let’s shower later.”

Liam’s hand had been wandering quite a bit, and Niall had only noticed it when it had slipped past the hem of his boxershorts, just a bit, but it was enough. He turned around immediately to face the older man, only taking in his smile for the split of a second before closing the gap between their lips, his body arching into the older man’s as Liam’s hand curled around his back, holding him close.

If anything was a good distraction from all their problems, it was definitely this.

\---------------------

Liam needed to have Niall close so badly that it hurt. Not only because he was struggling to come to terms with what had happened with Zayn, but also because it seemed with every day that Niall was pregnant, Liam found it harder to be apart from him or let him out of his sight. Of course all of that was influenced by Liam’s feelings towards him as well, and it was just- a freaking mess at this point.

There really was nothing Liam could have done, because he was 99.9% sure Niall’s reaction to him telling him the truth would have ended in a disaster, so maybe thank GOD that Zayn had texted Niall and kept Liam from telling him.

Liam nudged Niall’s lips apart immediately, licking into his mouth as he hugged him close, touching him anywhere he could reach really. They blindly stumbled backwards towards Liam’s bedroom while making out until Liam grabbed a hold of the back of Niall’s thighs, easily hauling him and carrying him the last few meters to his bed. 

The younger man’s fall was maybe a little bit out of nowhere because he let out a yelp, and Liam was about to apologize, but Niall let out a breathless laugh, his arms wrapping so tightly around Liam’s neck to pull him in for another kiss that he really didn’t have a chance. Liam was still wearing his jeans, but they were both shirtless as they snogged on the bed, the older man having moved on top of Niall, kind of manhandling him into the right position. 

Whenever they made out like this, whenever they were this close, nothing else seemed to matter and Liam yet again was overcome with a wave of emotions, almost wanting to blurt out with it again and he was kinda scared that one day he actually would. And then all hell would break lose and he’d ruin absolutely everything they had going for them right now.

“Liam… “ Niall whined a bit when the older man started to kiss down his neck, open mouthed kisses that made the younger man let out all these lovely sounds that Liam loved so much. “Can we- we’ve just done like, normal stuff for a while and-“

“What’s normal stuff?” Liam had to laugh against the younger’s skin, still breathless as he lifted his head to look at Niall underneath him, his face flushed as he rolled his eyes. 

“Like, just us, having sex.” He shrugged a bit, only making the older man laugh more. “Oh, shut up, you know _exactly_ what I mean.”

“So you’re getting bored of having sex like normal people?” Liam didn’t think he was, but just seeing Niall struggling to express what he wanted was too funny. Truth was though, the thought of it was getting Liam kind of excited, because Niall was right, they had definitely not done anything like they had when they had first started hooking up. 

“Not getting bored of it, but I thought it would be fun if we, you know… if we used toys again or, just, in general… I really liked it whenever you were being dominant.” His face had gotten a bit red saying it like that and Liam felt himself grinning, leaning down again to kiss Niall’s cheek, keeping it up until he could whisper in his ear.

“Are you missing your daddy?” Liam just could NOT help it, and he had to bite his lip so he wouldn’t laugh again.

“Oh my god, stop.” NOW Niall was embarrassed, but he didn’t let go of Liam nor did he deny it. “It sounds so wrong when you’re saying it while we’re not fucking.”

“I’m not the one who ever says it, you’re the one who came up with it out of nowhere.” It was true, and it had really taken Liam by surprise, also because it had turned him on so much. It was the Alpha in him, and it was probably the same for Niall the other way around, they couldn’t fight their nature in every aspect and Liam also didn’t want to. It was bloody hot.

“Okay, but now it sounds really wrong, because… you know.” Oh. Right. Why was it giving Liam shivers to think about that right now when it was truly inappropriate to think about being called that by a toddler one day? “Anyways, can we- you know.”

“I don’t know if I know what you mean. You have to be a good boy and explain it to me.” Niall huffed at that and rolled his eyes, but Liam was only partly joking. “So you’re gonna be a naughty boy tonight, huh?”

“Liammm…. “ The younger man whined, moving underneath him and Liam tried to bite back his grin and stay somewhat serious because he knew it was what Niall wanted, and what he wanted as well, actually.

“I believe it’s Mr. Payne. Or daddy. Whatever you prefer, I feel generous today.” Liam saw the way Niall’s face changed when he smirked at him, and he knew they would definitely be having some fun. “So, are you gonna apologize for rolling your eyes at me?”

“No.” Niall told him straight out, with a very clear purpose, and Liam felt goosebumps on his body from anticipation. 

“You sure?” Liam asked one more time, but he already knew what Niall was going to say.

“I’m not sorry.” The younger man told him, having the right kind of attitude showing on his face as well.

“Well, in that case… “ Liam mumbled, never finishing that sentence but instead starting to kiss down Niall’s neck again, sucking on his skin as he pleased, and the younger man curled his fingers into his hair, keeping him close. Liam had put quite a number of love bites on Niall’s neck without thinking, at times with purpose because he had liked the thought of any Alpha seeing them knowing to keep away from Niall.

Looking back, they had really been very careless about what they had been doing, it was a miracle it had taken so long for anybody to speak up about having known the truth all along.

Liam kissed down Niall chest, briefly sucking on his nipples just to make him moan, and taking his time when he reached his stomach, trying not to get lost in his thoughts though before moving further down. 

“Fuck… “ Niall was moaning quietly when Liam mouthed at his half hard erection over his boxer shorts where he had already gotten wet, not pulling them down or anything because this was definitely not going to be over anytime soon. “Li- daddy… “

“Have you changed your mind now? I think it might be too late to apologize though…” Liam teased, right before licking over the fabric of Niall’s clothes, having to hold him down a bit because he was squirming so much. “What do you want, hm?”

“Your mouth… please… “ The younger man whined, apparently having forgotten what he had asked for before, his eyes were pressed closed, face and chest all flushed.

Liam did pull down his boxershorts, painfully slow, making Niall move his hips a bit so he could discard them somewhere on the floor. Niall’s breathing was audibly getting heavier as Liam moved his hands up his thighs, avoiding touching him where he most wanted it for a moment, only to lick the length of his dick with no warning. 

“ _Shit_ … please… don’t s-stop… “ Niall moaned as Liam kept going, taking him into his mouth to blow him, his fingers wrapped around the base as he felt him growing harder in his mouth. 

And just when Niall’s moans were getting more urgent and panicky, Liam completely pulled off.

“No, _please_ , Liam, I can’t-“

“I think you can. You could have been a good boy and apologized but you didn’t, you knew it’d have consequences.” Liam told him while Niall groaned in frustration, about to grab a hold of himself but Liam caught his wrist in time. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“Or what?” The younger man asked, his voice sounding strained as he weakly tried to get out of Liam’s grip, but not really. 

“Or your punishment will only get worse.” Liam smirked, knowing that it was what Niall had desperately wanted when just for a second, he almost looked happy. “Now be good and stay right where you are. And _no_ touching.”

This had not been planned, so Liam climbed off of the bed a bit clueless as he walked to his closet, simply pulling out the whole box of toys he had. By now, he had probably used every single one of them on Niall, but not lately, so just the thought was making him hard.

He discarded his own clothes before he returned, seeing Niall eying him quite obviously, but he had indeed stayed like he had been told, lying into the middle of the bed, visibly excited. 

“Alright, turn around.” Liam ordered, keeping his voice a bit harder and Niall again did what he had been told. 

The older man took Niall’s hands a bit roughly, making sure to pull his arms behind his back to tie them up, not tight enough to hurt him, but tight enough so Niall could feel the pull if he tried to wiggle out of them. 

“Hmm… I’ve not yet decided what your punishment is going to be… there’s just too many options for such a naughty boy like you.” Liam mumbled, but he actually kinda meant it. They had done lots of things, and he would have liked to redo all of them or try something new, because knowing how much Niall was up for it was just bloody hot. “I might leave you here for a second and-“

“ _No_ , don’t… please… “ Niall was whining again, his face was smushed against the mattress as he squirmed around a bit, his movements restricted from not being able to move his hands or arms. 

“I don’t believe you get a say in that.” Liam told him strictly, suddenly having a different idea. “In fact, I’m pretty sure you don’t. And I feel like I can’t trust you to stay where you are while I’m gone, so… “

All Niall could have really done right now was hump the bed for some friction, so Liam quickly got out another one of his ties, this time to tie together Niall’s ankles, restricting his movements even more as the younger man whined again, but quietly this time. 

“Now, stay still until I’m back. Do as I say.” He ordered, giving Niall a small clap on his ass, not at all hard or anything, but it made the younger man moan nevertheless.

And then Liam just left him there in the middle of the bed, of course having to look back at him once he was in the doorway, because Jesus Christ, they really had not done this in a while.

It might have been the absolute hottest thing ever, walking through his own house completely naked, knowing Niall was upstairs in his bed, tied up and hard, waiting for his return, not being able to get off by himself even though he desperately needed too. So yeah, it was pretty damn hard for Liam to stay away, but he still forced himself to take his time.

Liam actually got a few ice cubes from his freezer in the kitchen, as well as some paper towels, waiting for a bit until he went back upstairs, slowly, and quietly, so Niall wouldn’t hear him right away. 

The younger man’s sight was quite restricted because he was still on his back, and Liam was kinda making sure he didn’t see what he was about to do as he got back on the bed as well, just taking Niall in for a second. 

“I’m gonna take this off, but don’t move.” Liam told him as he untied his ankles so he could spread apart Niall’s legs and the younger man was actually not whining for once. “Are you okay?”

“In the sense you’re asking, yeah.” Niall gave back quietly, a bit breathlessly too, but Liam felt relieved that he had checked. “What are y- _ah!_ ”

Niall’s yelp wasn’t one of pleasure but definitely of surprise when Liam move one of the ice cubes up the back of his thigh and his bum, watching his skin turn a bit red from the coldness as he held it there, for just a moment as Niall moved his wrists against the restraints of Liam’s tie. 

“Is that _ice?!_ ” He asked, as if he was appalled by it, and Liam held back a laugh.

“I believe you’re not supposed to be asking questions when you’re being punished.” He simply gave back, and Niall did shut up, but he definitely was not being quiet in any way.

Liam had never done this before either, so he was kinda fascinated by Niall’s reactions as he dragged the ice cubes across his skin, kinda avoiding any areas he knew where Niall wanted to be touched badly, so when he finally did, it made the younger man jerk quite a bit. The older man made sure not to leave the ice on Niall’s skin for too long as he touched Niall’s already leaking hole with it, dragging it down to his taint, keeping one hand on the small of the younger’s back to make sure he stayed somewhat still. 

Niall was quietly moaning and whining, trying to move, and honestly, Liam started to get slightly impatient. The ice was already starting to melt anyways, and Liam didn’t think as he put it into his mouth, pressing his lips against Niall’s hole to eat him out instead. He made sure to lie down as well, keeping Niall’s cheeks spread apart as he had his face buried in between them, alternating between his tongue and the ice cube in his mouth as he licked across the rim, attempting to push inside while Niall was just moaning above him, trying to move his ass back against Liam’s face.

Honestly, it wasn’t much of a punishment anymore, but Liam decided that he didn’t care, because it was just too good. The ice did eventually melt in Liam’s mouth, and he kept licking Niall until he decided he didn’t want him to cum just yet, and not like this.

This time, Niall was staying quiet as Liam sat back up, he was just moaning again as Liam made him lift his bum up a bit, grabbing a hold of himself. Niall’s hands were still tied up, so Liam was being conscious of that and the fact that the position wasn’t really in Niall’s favor, but it didn’t seem like the younger man cared as Liam pushed inside of him and he moaned into mattress.

“Fuck- are you finally gonna apologize?” Liam brought out as he thrust into the younger man, keeping his hands on him at all times so he wouldn’t lose his balance. 

“I-I’m sorry… _ah, yeah, right there!_ Daddy, _please_ make me cum!” He was being so damn loud and it was all going straight to Liam’s middle as he sped up his thrusts, feeling his knot already swelling where he was pushing into the younger man. 

“Don’t cum just yet- _ah_ \- wait… “ Liam growled a bit, slowing down for just a moment to let Niall feel the whole length and width of his dick, moving his hand underneath him to touch his stomach for just a second before wrapping it around Niall’s rock hard erection.

“Please… harder… “ Niall whimpered, and Liam did him the favor because he couldn’t take it anymore.

They came together, and Niall never waited for Liam to give him permission to let go, but it also really didn’t matter that much anymore as Liam fucked them both through it, dragging out their orgasms for as long as possible. They should have definitely done this a lot sooner again, Liam had somehow forgotten how good it felt.

The fact that his knot wasn’t keeping them tied together anymore for minutes was beneficial for positions like this, and even though Liam kinda missed seeing Niall’s belly swell up with his jizz, it kinda would soon again anyways. 

Liam made sure to untie Niall’s wrists immediately afterwards, letting him fall down onto his back so he could catch his breath, his face all sweaty and red when Liam lied half on top of him once more. “Is that what you wanted?”

“Hmm… pretty good, yeah. We did dirtier stuff back in the day, but-“

“ _Back in the day?_ So like, a few weeks ago?” This made Liam laugh and Niall just smiled, and honestly, he looked so fucking cute and tired right now that Liam’s heart could have burst any second. “Well, next time you can choose what we do, then.”

“I like it when you surprise me though… I liked the ice, but it felt like you were giving me frostbites at the same time. It was still hot.” He shrugged a bit, his fingers playing with Liam’s hair before he moved them down the side of his face, stroking his cheek with kind of a serious expression. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah… I’m good.” It was the truth, and Liam knew why Niall was asking, but he had to admit that there really was nothing he could have done except accept his failures and try to do better. After giving Zayn the time he had asked, but Liam kinda didn’t want to think about him right now. “You?”

“Me too… “ Niall answered quietly, cupping the back of Liam’s neck to pull him down for a kiss. 

It was slow, and soft, the kinda kisses they gave each other a lot more lately, especially before going to bed, even without having taken it any further. If it had gone after Liam, it would have always been like this, and he knew Niall was into it more now because he was pregnant, but he was still going to take whatever he could get and tell himself that eventually he’d be brave enough to open his mouth.

If not, he was afraid Harry might have done it for him instead.

\-----------------------

Niall had to admit that he did NOT want to help Harry and Louis move into their new home and he felt terrible about it, so that’s why he also didn’t show them his true feelings when Louis texted him. Along with an apology for telling Liam he would murder him, and Niall at least got a good laugh out of it as the older man accidentally read the message too.

A week had passed since they had made up, which also made Niall almost seven weeks pregnant, but he wasn’t really thinking that much about it. Mostly because since Zayn had quit, things had kinda been crazy at work and now Niall felt like he was working two jobs and Liam kept apologizing to him and promising him better pay when really, Niall didn’t pay for anything in his life anymore except his flat.

Where he hadn’t been in ages, and Liam also kept telling him he could give it up, but Niall liked the security of it. Also, he had literally just moved in.

“I really don’t think Harry should be carrying anything at all.” It was Liam who said it, they were still in the car, and Niall had to admit he agreed.

“Maybe that’s why we’re going there right now and Louis told me he wouldn’t mind if I brought you along. As if I wouldn’t have made you drive me anyways.” Also, it was after work, so where would Niall have gone? Or Liam? “But I agree, he’s like, almost six months along or something, I forgot. I don’t wanna be responsible if anything happens.”

“Me neither… “ Liam mumbled, then he seemed to hesitate. “I also don’t really want you to carry anything heavy.”

“Liam, I’m fine, I told you. Even the doctor said it’s fine.” Well… more like, Dr. Google had told Niall that, but seriously. “It’s not like I’m weight lifting. I’ll carry the lighter things if that makes you happy.”

“Not really… I’m sure me and Louis could do the most work.” He continued, and Niall felt flattered, but also, he wasn’t sure what would happen if Liam wouldn’t allow him to actually help once they had arrived. “Do they have anybody else helping?”

“I don’t think so, they didn’t say anything. And the girls are with friends, I think. Probably for the better, they’d wanna open all the boxes the moment they’re inside.” Thank god Harry and Louis hadn’t asked Niall to help them pack their stuff and were only asking for help to bring everything into their new home, because… who enjoyed moving, honestly. “Although, it would’ve kinda been funny for you to meet them, I think they’d like you.”

“I already met them. At the mall.” Right, that felt like so long ago that Niall wasn’t even sure if it had been in this lifetime. Although, he did very vividly remember that night, or weekend more like, because it had been the first time that they had somehow grown closer emotionally, the first time they had really spent this much time together without it being mostly about the sex.

“But that was only briefly, I don’t think they’d even remember that.” Maybe Josie did, Clara had been close to falling asleep. “I’ve been trying to think about how to tell them, you know, about the baby, but I… I feel like since Harry’s pregnant too it’s not a big deal to them anyways, so maybe I’ll just wait.”

“From what you told me, it sounds they might be more excited about this baby than their new sibling.” Liam laughed, probably not realizing that he was hitting it spot on.

“That’s what I’ve been thinking, so I’m trying to hold back. Also, I wouldn’t know how to tell them if they ask who the other dad is because… I mean, I’d tell them it’s you, but I don’t know if that’s a conversation Harry and Louis want to have with them.” Probably not, Niall would have to speak to them beforehand, but he kinda didn’t want to. He was doing too much talking at work lately, with too many employees and clients and doing the things Zayn had done, but doing them worse obviously and actually, now that Niall thought about it… “Wait.”

“What?” Liam was clearly surprised, and Niall hadn’t meant for it to come out so dramatic, but now it was too late. “Are you okay? What’s-“

“Now that Zayn left… who is Harry’s spokesperson for his novels?” Had Niall really needed to ask this question?

“Well… that would be you.” Liam told him slowly, but he immediately backpedaled when Niall opened his mouth. “Only on paper. I will find somebody else, we will work it out, it’s only been a week, okay? I’m gonna hire somebody to replace him, or… or to at least do most of the work he’s done.”

“Thank god, I was afraid you think I could do what he’s been doing.” Maybe in 5 years, but not a moment sooner. 

“You could, with more experience, if you wanted to at some point. But for now I guess we will have to manage together until I find someone.” He let out a sigh at this, and Niall knew it had multiple reasons.

“When are you going to talk to him?” Niall straight out asked, because he had waited an entire week to ask this question.

“I don’t know… he said he needed time.” Liam cleared his throat a bit at that, and Niall got the feeling he was honestly just too afraid to call. Of course he had also told Liam he should give Zayn the time he had asked for, but… after a while it would just seem as if he didn’t even care.

“You did give him time. It sounds like you’ve broken up and are giving each other space.” Seriously.

“But that’s what he wrote, and I don’t know where we even stand, I don’t know if he-“

“I think he meant it more as in you should figure out what you want and then contact him but that he also needed some time. Do you not know if you still wanna be his friend?” Why was Niall feeling as if he was talking to a child all of a sudden? He would have laughed, but he knew it was really weighing on Liam’s mind. 

“Of course I do, I just- I feel really bad and I don’t know how to make it up to him. I don’t know if I can, and what if he doesn’t find a new job and his life is ruined because of me? I mean, he could always come back of course, but I- I will call him. Soon. Maybe tomorrow.” So probably not. “Is this the right street?”

“I think so.” Niall allowed Liam to change the topic, but just because he could tell that the older man truly did not wanna talk about this anymore. If he didn’t figure this out himself, Niall was determined to help, even if Liam would hate him for a little bit. “I wanna know how they can afford a place like this.”

“They both work, right? And Harry’s books are quite popular.” Liam shrugged, and then he threw a look at Niall with a sudden grin on his face. “Maybe I will have to make you read them, since you’ve kinda gotten promoted, you should know about some of the books we publish.”

“I would read the books you publish, but I wouldn’t even know when. I’m a slow reader. And anyways, I don’t think I’d enjoy the books knowing a friend of mine wrote them.” Also, it would’ve felt weird, but mostly, Niall just didn’t feel like it.

Liam found a parking spot somewhere in the street, and they couldn’t see the other two anywhere so they were probably inside or something because the moving truck they had rented was definitely there. Niall texted Harry to let him know they were here, and the other man told him immediately to just ring the bell downstairs so they could come and see the place first.

“Wait.” Liam suddenly told him as Niall attempted to get out of the car, holding onto his arm, and the younger man was really confused, but he did sit back properly.

“Wha-“

Instead of answering, the older man simply leaned across the seats to kiss him on the lips, completely out of nowhere, lingering for a lot longer than Niall would have thought. When they did pull apart, he kinda wanted to say something, but then he didn’t know what, and Liam just smiled at him, and Niall felt a lot warmer. He really liked how close they were now, maybe it was crazy, but he would have honestly trusted Liam with his entire life.

Harry’s and Louis’ new place was kind of amazing, Niall was really excited for them as they walked inside after saying hi, things already having turned back to normal between them, thank god. They were taking over from somebody else, so there was still a lot of furniture left and it wasn’t an empty house tour, but Niall was just relieved because that meant they would have to carry less.

“And this is everything?” Liam asked once they were back outside, staring inside the moving truck and Niall had felt overwhelmed for a second, but apparently the older man was taking it quite easy. 

“Pretty much, yeah. I reckon we will need two hours at most, if you- unless you have somewhere else to be, that’s totally fine.” Harry promised, although, how would they have done this without them? Or without Liam, actually. “It just took us ages to pack everything and put it in here because the girls were with us and it was just Louis and I.”

“And you really shouldn’t be carrying things, actually.” Louis cut in, and Harry rolled his eyes, but then he shrugged. “And also… maybe Niall shouldn’t either.”

“I already told him that as well.” Liam immediately spoke up of course, because that was what he had wanted as well, but seriously, Niall was very well capable of doing so.

Plus, it was super weird to talk about his pregnancy like that, with everyone.

“I’m gonna be okay, Liam.” Niall told him, giving him a side eye and for the moment it seemed that everyone just agreed on it being that way.

Harry turned out to barely carry anything at all, which made sense, because he was like 6 months pregnant and obviously showing, but Niall felt as if he could have very well carried more than the light things Liam was handing him, taking everything that just _looked_ a little bit heavy immediately away from him.

After an hour or so, Liam claimed that he and Louis could be doing the rest, and Louis immediately agreed with that, so really, what else was there for Niall to do than to go upstairs with Harry when his friend asked him to help sort something out? Nothing.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asked as they entered the flat, and Niall shrugged, not really knowing an answer to that.

“Fine. I really don’t know why Liam has to overreact so much, I could’ve helped them a lot more.” Not that Niall was upset over it or anything, but… 

“You know why he’s overreacting, Niall. Also, I think he’s right, you can never be too careful.” He explained as they walked into one of the rooms Niall knew would belong to the new baby. 

“Then why’d you ask me to help?” Niall joked, laughing a bit.

“We kinda just wanted Liam’s help, honestly.” Harry admitted without a care and he rolled his eyes when Niall pretended to be shocked. “Oh, come on, you know what he looks like. He could carry all this stuff by himself and maybe be quicker than while having us standing in the way.”

“It’s weird when you talk about him like that… “ Seriously, Liam was STILL Harry’s boss. “Did you know that if you wanna discuss anything about your books now then you will have to ask me because Zayn quit?”

“Zayn did tell me he quit, but he didn’t say why… and I would ask you, but I know you don’t read my books.” At least Harry was taking it with humor. “… so why did he quit?”

“It’s a long story, but… it’s mostly because of Liam. Like, their friendship is suffering and Zayn doesn’t think they should work together anymore… it’s complicated.” Now Niall felt bad for having told Harry that, so he made sure to quickly clear his throat and walk around the room. “The kids’ rooms are massive. Are you really letting them paint their own walls?”

“Yeah, why not? We can just paint over them again if they change their minds. I’m just worried about them breathing in all the toxins from the paint, so maybe we’ll just go with letting them put up pictures and stuff… “ Harry seemed lost in thoughts for a moment, and Niall waited for him to say something, but he kinda… never did?

“… so what did you need my help sorting out with?” It seemed with nothing at all.

“I actually just wanted to talk to you.” Harry told him immediately, suddenly going to sit on the floor next to all of the boxes that were already in here. “But we don’t have to.”

“No, it’s- it’s fine. We can talk.” Well, depending… “I’m guessing you wanna talk about the most obvious thing?”

“Kinda.” He smiled as Niall sat next to him, leaning against the wall and watching the top of another house through the window. It was definitely a nice place, but not as nice as Liam’s house. “Did you move in with him?”

“Not really… I spend most of my time there though. Liam told me to give up my flat so I’d save the money, but I… I don’t want to for now. Not that I don’t trust him, I really do, but it’s like, after everything, I finally have my own place and I don’t wanna give it up right away.” Well, Niall should have probably gone there and gotten the rest of his stuff because he kinda needed it, but… 

“So you’re together 24/7 now?” If he put it that way…

“Kinda, but… it’s not like that, when we’re at the firm we work and he has meetings and I go somewhere else in the firm sometimes and like… at the time we go back to his house it’s already evening anyways. We’ve not grown annoyed of each other yet, if that was what you were asking.” It sounded like a joke, but really, Niall kinda meant it. He hoped they’d never grow bored of each other, they kinda couldn’t.

“That’s good to hear.” Harry nodded, as if he was truly happy about that. “And… once the baby is here?”

“I don’t know… “ Niall shrugged, looking down because, well, he truly did not know. It seemed like years in the future. “I think I will stay at his house and… yeah. Liam really wants the baby, I… I thought he’d be mad at me at first, I actually thought I’d, you know, that I wouldn’t keep it, but then… he was excited? And I thought about it again and I decided I wanna keep it too. I know the situation is super weird and also not at all what I had planned in life, but… it is what it is, right? I was really scared at first… “

“Understandable. You know how I felt when I found out I was pregnant with Josie, that was the shock of my life. I thought it was all over, pretty much. I imagine you felt similar.” Not just similar. “But if you ever need anything, really anything at all, you know me and Louis will be there. For you AND the baby, you could even come live here, we’ll somehow deal with the space.”

“Thank you, Haz… really. I really don’t take you guys for granted, I’m so sorry for-“

“Don’t. We’re through with that, remember?” Harry immediately interrupted, and Niall was relieved, but he still felt bad. Probably always would, to be honest. “Are you excited about it now?”

“I think so, yeah. Just a bit worried, is all… I suppose that’s normal. Did you already choose a name?” Niall really did not wanna talk about his own pregnancy anymore, and also, he felt a bit ignorant not asking Harry anything about his.

“We talked about it a couple times, also with the girls, but we’ve not really found the right one yet. And we also don’t know the gender anyways, so… maybe we’ll just wait and then when the baby is here it will just hit us with the right name, you know? And if not I guess we’ll just open a baby name book and pick a random page.” He laughed for a second, and they both heard the front door open, Liam and Louis discussing something and then both of them leaving again. “Have you?”

“Have I thought about names? No. I’ve not thought about anything… maybe Liam has. He probably already chose 20 names or something.” Somehow, Niall felt a rush of fondness thinking about that, but he tried to suppress it as best as he could. Not the right moment. 

“He really wants that baby, huh?” Seemingly more than anything. 

“Yeah… I don’t know why. Or why with me, I mean, it was an accident, but… he was so sure, from like the first minute. And he keeps telling me how everything will be okay and how he will do anything so I’ll be comfortable and that I don’t have to worry about anything… he’s just… very different than how he comes off at first.” Niall felt weird talking about Liam like this because he never had, he even got paranoid enough to lean over to look at the entrance area, make sure no one was there. 

“I thought the same, he’s not really that cold CEO anymore that I remember. But I never had a lot to do with him anyways… maybe it’s you. That is making him act differently, I mean. Like… there has to be a reason you two started to… hook up?” He made it sound like a question, and Niall didn’t deny it because after all… it was exactly what had happened.

“I mean… I don’t know how it really happened, I- I was really confused about it in the beginning, but… it was fun, still is and… he’s just very used to spending his life working and making his firm work, but he did change after a while. He noticed it as well.” Not that Niall wanted to make assumptions, he still felt weird talking about it.

Harry didn’t really respond to that, they just sat there in silence for a moment, but when he did speak up, Niall’s heart almost stopped. “Do you love him?”

It was a very calm question, as if it was normal to ask, and Niall almost choked. He had no chance to answer really, because the other two came back a moment later, and they stayed longer than before, leaving again while Niall struggled to find the right words.

“Why would you think that?” A good question, because why WOULD Harry think that?!

“Just asking. You obviously have to like him if you spend that much time with him, I mean, I don’t know how you guys behave in private and if you live in his guestroom and it’s more like a roommate situation or… you know.” Well, it definitely was NOT a roommate situation.

There were a lot of things Niall wanted to say, but the longer he thought about it, the more did he realize that actually, he had no idea how to explain this to Harry. None at all. And suddenly he wasn’t sure anymore whether he knew how to explain it even to himself.

“I… I don’t live in his guestroom.” Was all he could come up with, because he was done with the lies, but what else would he have said? I sleep in his bed every single night?

“Okay.” Harry didn’t seem very surprised by that, and it bothered Niall a little bit. “I mean, no need to label anything, right? Whatever it is, if it works for the two of you… “

Niall didn’t answer, he had also never answered Harry’s question from before and now it was too late and also he kinda didn’t even wanna think about it anyways. Right, now he really regretted having given in to coming upstairs with Harry instead of helping the other two, because he had NOT been prepared for a conversation like this, of course it had been bound to come, but… 

“Niall?” The other man spoke up after even more silence, and Niall did not react, expecting the worst again. “Did you… are you gonna tell your parents?”

“No.” THAT was a question he knew how to answer at least. “I mean… eventually. One day. Maybe… not sure.”

“And what about Liam’s parents?” Okay, now Harry would think they were both completely screwed up.

“Umm… his mother died when he was really young and… he doesn’t talk to his father, so… I suppose not.” So yeah, their child would have no grandparents. “I mean… I don’t know… I suppose everyone who we had tell already found out without us saying anything, so… “

“Zayn?” Harry asked, and right, he had no idea about that.

“He also found out, I suppose he smelled it too, um… he texted me last week because he quit and he congratulated me and then… well, he also mentioned it in his email to Liam, so… but it’s not the reason he quit. But they’re still not talking, sooo… “ Actually, everything was really messed up now that Niall was saying all these things out loud. “It’s complicated.”

“It sounds like it.” Harry agreed, which really did not make Niall feel any better whatsoever. “But you guys are okay?”

“I am… I know Liam’s quite upset because of Zayn, I’ve been trying to make him sort it out, but… no chance… “ Well, Zayn HAD asked for space, but he had not given it a time limit. 

“They’ll work it out, I’m sure.” How could he be?

“I hope so... I know it’s dragging Liam down and it’s stressful at work because there’s no replacement for Zayn and… and it’s Liam’s birthday next week and I just feel bad for him.” Niall had thought about a whole lot of things he could have done for Liam, but really, he hadn’t been able to really think of anything special.

“Really? Do you already have a present?” Harry sounded excited all of a sudden, but Niall had to disappoint of course.

“No, he doesn’t wanna celebrate or for me to even acknowledge it, so… I’ll buy him a cake, I would attempt to make one myself, but we’d not be able to eat it, probably.” That made Niall laugh, just for a second, but then he realized it was actually quite sad. “If you have any suggestions… “

“I do, actually.” He had sat up straight all of a sudden, looking well motivated, and at least when he started talking did Niall think that at least this uncomfortable conversation had one good outcome. 

Now he’d just have to solve their 100 other problems and it’d be smooth sailing from there on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys :)
> 
> this week has just flown by for me, im so sorry im only now getting to answer everyones comment, i honestly dont know what ive been doing with my time lately haha. i hope you liked the chapter! before anyone has to say it, i also think liam should have talked to zayn a lot sooner, or said anything at all really, but all of that will happen! im just super happy i didnt accidentally forget to write about liams birthday haha rip
> 
> leave me a comment if you want, i will DEFINITELY try to answer sooner from now on! have a good week <3


	15. Chapter 15

Liam was really happy for Niall, that he seemed to be talking to both Harry and Louis a lot more after they had helped them move into their new place, that things had gone back to normal. It hadn’t bothered Liam at all to help out, and he had had a quite nice conversation with Louis, during which it had been more than obvious that the other man had been trying to find out whether Liam was being serious about being there for Niall even after the baby was born. Hopefully his worries had been eased, and hopefully he wouldn’t go and talk to Harry about Liam just to find out that Harry had somehow immediately looked through him and his feelings for Niall.

That was really the last thing Liam needed right now.

He wanted to talk to Zayn, because that was somehow Liam’s biggest issue at the moment now that everything else seemed to be working out, but he simply wasn’t brave enough and Niall had stopped asking about it as well. The younger man seemed to generally be in a very good mood ever since making up with his friends, he was very affectionate towards Liam and he also suddenly had a lot more energy at work. Even more so than Liam himself.

So YES, in many aspects, life at this moment in time was really good, but on the other hand, Liam felt it was the quiet before the storm, them pretending things were alright before everything would once again fall apart and their unsolved issues would eventually catch up with them.

“Is it really okay if I leave earlier? I don’t wanna leave you here with all this work and-“

“Ni, it’s really okay. You’re only leaving 2 hours early and you’ve been doing way too many extra hours anyways.” So many that Liam had actually been relieved when Niall had asked if he could leave so he could go and hang out with Harry and his daughters. “Tell Harry I said hi.”

“I will. He’s gonna think it’s a subtle hint for him to finish his book though.” Niall laughed while packing his things, and now Liam had to admit he was a little sad seeing him go.

“It’s really not, I don’t really mind. Besides, he’s only missing the last chapter anyways.” Not that Liam had had time to read whatever Harry had submitted a few days ago. “Just have fun, okay?”

“I will… “ The younger man smiled, but then his face changed a bit. “I feel really bad, I know you said I can’t mention your birthday again, but-“

“I’ve honestly forgotten it’s my birthday after you wished me happy birthday this morning, so please don’t feel bad. Just go, Nialler.” Liam laughed, and he truly meant it. He did not enjoy birthdays, or maybe he simply did not care. Either way, the reason he was sad to see Niall go was simply because he was always anxious to be without him now. Stupid Alpha problems.

“Okay… I’ll see you in like two hours then?” Niall came walking around the desk, relief spreading inside of Liam as he smiled back, nodding before Niall leaned down to kiss him on the lips. 

There was a lot more of this lately, just them randomly kissing and touching, and if Liam swallowed all those words he wanted to say, then he almost had what he was craving, without really having it at all. 

It was easy to pretend like this, but it also made it harder to watch Niall walk out of the door a couple moments later. Maybe one day Liam would say all those things, but today was definitely not the day.

\-------------------------

“I feel kinda sneaky for this.” Niall just had to say it out loud, suddenly doubting whatever he had let Harry talk him into. It was like… it had sounded like a GREAT idea, but suddenly…

“He’s gonna be really happy. Maybe not right away, but surely after a couple minutes or so.” It didn’t sound very much as if Harry was confident about this fact, more as if he had no idea what else to say because it had all been his idea.

To be fair, it hadn’t been a very extraordinary idea, and surely Niall could have come up with it himself if he had just thought about it long enough. He had been more about respecting Liam’s wish to not celebrate his birthday, but it was his 30thiest and Niall had felt an urge to celebrate it, thinking that the older man had possibly been lying about how much he hated it.

“Maybe he really does hate his birthday, maybe-“

“Even if he does, he will still like what you came up with.” Harry interrupted, forgetting to mention that it was HIM who had come up with it.

“I wish it was my birthday, too.” Josie threw in from the backseat, and Clara agreed with her, very vocally.

“It will be soon, love.” Harry promised while Niall stared down at the cake on his lap. Was it rude he had bought one from the store and had let the girls choose after making sure they somewhat gotten a flavor he himself liked? But if he had attempted to make one in that short time span he would have surely messed up and Liam was always home any other day. “… what’s the address again?”

It took longer than anticipated for Harry to drive Niall to Liam’s house, and Niall was more than thankful that he did not comment the size nor the location of it, but the girls were surely impressed as they stared at it through the car windows. Luckily they did not know that Niall kinda lived there and thought he was merely visiting.

The reason Niall had met up with Harry had been so he could one, pick up the cake, and two, get his guitar from his place and get his other present that Harry had been keeping for him until today so Liam wouldn’t accidentally find it. Being this sneaky was difficult, especially because they were doing it for the second time this week, and Niall had been really stressed about Liam finding out about it and the surprise being ruined more than just once.

And thank god Liam had somehow believed him that he would be home before him, so he had simply given Niall a spare house key as well. To be fair, he HAD offered Niall a spare key already, but Niall had never needed it because he always arrived with Liam anyways and he wouldn’t have even been able to get here by foot, so there was that.

Maybe at some point he would get a car, but probably not in the near future.

Niall didn’t decorate or anything, he just unpacked the cake and put in the candles, not lightning them yet of course because Liam would still need a bit to get home. They had arrived a lot later than anticipated, so Niall was just glad that they had made it in time and that it would all work out. Hopefully.

There wasn’t much to prepare, Niall simply changed his clothes and then he made sure to order food for when he knew Liam would already be home and then he simply went to sit on the couch to be on his phone, waiting.

He did text Liam telling him he was already home in hopes the older man would come a bit sooner, and it kinda seemed like it because Niall almost had to run trying to light the candles in time when he already heard Liam’s car outside. Now he was even more nervous than before, and his heart was bumping quite uncomfortably actually as he waited for the moment the door to the garage would open.

Maybe this hadn’t been a good idea, maybe Liam would hate it, maybe he would-

“Niall, I’m- oh, hi.” At first, Liam just seemed very happy to see him as Niall came over immediately, but his eyes did shift to the cake a second later, and his facial expression changed. Not to annoyed though, but rather to a small smile. “You really didn’t have t-“

“But I wanted to. Happy birthday, again.” Niall told him quickly as he wrapped his arms around the older man’s neck, not even letting him drop his bag or take off his shoes as he kissed him, feeling Liam’s hands settling on his hips. 

They kissed for a little bit longer than anticipated, deepening it for a just moment, and Niall let his forehead knock against Liam’s before leaning back just a bit. 

“Is this why you left earlier?” Liam asked quietly, and Niall didn’t wanna lie, so he shrugged a bit.

“Maybe.” He teased, kissing Liam again because why the hell not. “Harry offered his help, so I thought I should take it… he also told me to tell you happy birthday from him and Louis. And the girls. Josie is very jealous that it’s not her birthday instead.”

“Thank you very much.” The older man laughed and Niall grinned, only unwillingly letting his arms slip from around Liam so he could take off his shoes and put away his laptop.

“I hope you like the cake, I had no idea if you would even eat any at all, or what flavor you like, so I, um, kinda got the one I like.” Okay, had that been rude?

“I’m glad you did because you’re gonna be the one finishing it.” He was laughing as he said it and the younger man jokingly rolled his eyes, catching Liam’s hand though to pull him over to the counter. “Are there really 30 candles on there?”

“I hope so, I almost burned the house down just now trying to light them all in time, so it better be worth it. Wait, you can’t blow them out just yet, I need to get my phone.” Niall promptly let go of Liam’s hand to go and get his phone, suddenly very excited but still very nervous at the same time. This had by far not been everything. 

“For what?” Liam seemed confused for a moment until Niall turned on his camera, motioning for him to get to it. “You wanna film me?”

“I already am. You’re only turning 30 once, right? Go on, then. And don’t forget to make a wish.” The younger man told him, making Liam laugh again but his cheeks were also kinda red as he did blow out the candles, all at once. “What did you wish for?”

“I can’t tell you that or it won’t become reality.” The older man shrugged, smirking, and Niall kept the video going for another moment, just focusing on Liam’s face, because he was suddenly struck with the thought that he didn’t have a single picture or video of him. “Thank you for the cake, Nialler.”

“You’re welcome. I also ordered food, it should be here in a bit and I… I kinda also got you a present.” NOW Niall was truly getting nervous.

“Ni, I told you not to spend any m-“

“I didn’t. Not for the present anyways, the food doesn’t even count. Harry also drove me to my place so I got my guitar and I can play for you, if you want.” No idea how that would go, because Niall hadn’t played in AGES, he hadn’t even had his guitar here of course, but holding it before, he had realized how much he actually missed playing. “I would’ve written you a song but I kinda… didn’t know when.”

“I like all the songs I’ve heard so far, so I’d be happy if you wanna play something.” Liam’s smile was soft, easing Niall’s nervousness just a little bit as he put away his phone, clearing his throat a bit.

“Okay, um… but I’m gonna give you your present first.” Why did Niall suddenly wish the delivery guy would come sooner just so he could drag it out?

It was just an envelope, and Niall had put it on the kitchen isle, so he basically just reached around before handing it to Liam, the older man clearly confused.

“Thank you… what’s in it?” He asked before even opening it, and Niall laughed nervously.

“You’ll see.” He told Liam, biting his nails as he watched him rip the paper a bit in an attempt to open it.

At first, Liam seemed very confused when he pulled out what was inside, but then he got it immediately of course. “Is that… “

“Yeah. And I wanna apologize in advance, I know how much you wanna come to all the appointments, but because I didn’t have another one until in a few weeks, Harry kinda talked to the doctor and he squeezed me in and- and also, I did NOT listen to the heartbeat, we can go back tomorrow and do it together. The doctor thought it was really funny that I just wanted the pictures for your birthday and he said there’s an empty slot tomorrow anyways because somebody cancelled and- I’m sorry if this was a shit idea, I just thought because we wouldn’t have seen it change for another few weeks and-“

“Niall. You don’t have to apologize. Thank you.” Liam interrupted, and Niall only now noticed that he looked as if he had gotten a bit emotional staring at the new ultrasound pictures. “It’s gotten so much bigger… “

“I know, right? Look at this, he told me those are the toes. After only 8 weeks, I didn’t even believe him.” Niall had come over to point to where the doctor had told him things were, and Liam immediately wrapped an arm around Niall’s shoulders, pulling him closer as he kissed the side of his head, probably not even listening to his rambling anymore. “Are you really not mad? I was really nervous, I thought maybe-“

“I’m really not mad at all, Nialler. I promise. I’m really happy you went and got them, thank you.” He sounded as if he meant it, so Niall relaxed a bit, wrapping his arm around Liam’s waist as he leaned more into him. “How did you not listen to the heartbeat?”

“I just told him I wanted you to be there for that, he thought it was really funny, so… I didn’t wanna do it without you, I know you wanna be there.” Especially for the first time, and Niall had already felt bad for just going to get the pictures by himself, or with Harry, more like. Probably because it seemed that Liam wanted to be there even more than him. “Harry almost talked me into buying random stuff for the baby too, but we’re gonna do that together, right?”

“Yeah… if you wanna do that.” Liam sounded very happy saying it, but also slightly emotional, so Niall didn’t wanna embarrass him by staring at him so he put his head on the older man’s shoulder instead.

“Of course I wanna do that with you.” Who else? Surely not with Harry, like, yeah, he was his best friend, but Liam was the father of the baby, and also… Niall wanted to experience these things with _him_. “And I also- oh shit the food.”

Niall was interrupted by his phone ringing, and then he made sure to hurry and let the delivery guy through the gates so he could go and collect the food from the door, kinda having gotten a little bit too much. He just loved leftovers though, they both did.

“I ordered what I know you like, I hope that’s okay and- Li, are you crying?” As Niall walked back to put the food containers on the table, his eyes went over to Liam, who was still standing there leaning against the counter, looking at the ultrasound pictures.

“What? No, I’m not.” He immediately denied, touching his own face and then looking surprised when he did actually realize that he WAS crying.

Niall felt his heart warming as he went back over to the older man, reaching out to wipe his thumbs over both his cheeks, catching most of the wetness. “You know… I really love how excited you are for the baby… it makes me more excited as well. Not that I wasn’t, but… it’s nice to know how much you want it, and how much you care.”

Liam smiled, clearly embarrassed and clearly not knowing what to say to that, so Niall stretched a bit so they could kiss instead. If there was one thing Niall was 100% certain about, it was that Liam would make the absolute best dad and the ultimate person he could have wished for to accidentally have a baby with.

Although the longer he thought about it, the more was he starting to feel as if maybe this hadn’t been a bad idea at all, maybe somehow they had been made for this.

He kissed Liam a bit longer until his stomach growled from hunger and they pulled apart laughing. Liam made sure to tell him 100 times how much he liked the food, thanking Niall more than necessary while they were eating. Niall made Liam eat a lot more cake than the older man had agreed to, but made sure to save some of it as well… for later. 

More than an hour had passed after they had cleaned up and Liam had helped with the dishes despite Niall telling him not to, but at least that meant they were done a lot quicker and Niall had more time to play for Liam on his guitar. Because there was one more thing happening today, and Niall was still nervous about it, he was having a hard time not constantly glancing at the clock above the older man’s head.

“You know… “ Niall started once he absolutely could not keep it a secret any longer, still absently strumming on his guitar after having played for at least an hour for Liam. “There is, um, there is one more thing… “

“What do you mean?” Liam looked confused, also very sleepy at this point and Niall stopped his hand movements.

“Umm… one more thing for your birthday.” He explained slowly, again looking at the clock, and then at his phone on the table, having stayed silent for now. “I… I kinda thought that it was a good idea, but now I’m not sure anymore, because… well, because I don’t know if you want that, but I- oh.”

Niall’s phone was vibrating and he had snatched it from the table before Liam could have gotten a glance at the name. 

“If I want what?” The older man kept asking, and Niall felt his cheeks turning red.

“I, uh… I invited someone. ” He told him, putting his guitar down and slowly getting up. “And they are already here and I- you can also say no and-“

“Who did you invite?” Now Liam sounded PANICKED, and Niall wondered who he thought he had invited, so he just had to tell him.

“Zayn.” Niall said it quickly, as if that made it better, watching the older man’s shoulders clearly tensing, his face surprised. “I told him that you don’t know about it and he said he still wanted to come and that it’s okay if you decide he should leave.”

“No, um… I don’t- you can let him in.” There was obvious tension in the air, and Niall felt guilty as he went to go to the door to let Zayn inside the property, his heart bumping a bit uncomfortably as he waited. 

He heard Liam getting up as well behind him, slowly coming closer, but not quickly enough to be there when Zayn knocked on the door and Niall opened it with a sinking feeling in his stomach. Not because he didn’t want Zayn here or for them to finally make up, but because he was afraid Liam would be mad at him for getting involved.

If he hadn’t though, would they have ever talked?

“Hi.” Niall greeted him a bit nervously, stepping as to let the other man enter. 

“Hi.” Zayn smiled briefly at him, but his eyes were shifting towards Liam. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you… “ Was all Liam said, his face red and Niall could have literally cut the tension in the air with a knife. “I… I had no idea Niall invited you.”

“I can leave if-“

“No, no, that’s not what I meant, just- I was really surprised just now. Of course you can stay. I- um, I want you to.” He was clearing his throat afterwards, and Niall had to bite back a smile, making sure to close the door while Zayn was taking off his shoes, Liam just standing there, seemingly frozen.

“You have to try the cake I bought, it’s really good.” He told Zayn, just to lighten the mood a little bit.

“I’d love to, I don’t wanna eat it though if you were saving it for-

“It’s fine, there’s plenty left, and I would have just eaten all of it myself the next couple days because Liam would refuse all the sugar.” Niall joked, and Zayn laughed because he knew it was the truth.

“That’s not even true… “ Liam grumbled, but at least he was kinda moving again, clearly not knowing how to behave though. Confrontation really was NOT his thing.

No one talked as Niall got Zayn some cake on a plate and then they all went to sit down, and Niall did notice Liam staying close to him, apparently more than just overwhelmed by the entire situation, which was Niall’s fault alone. And on his birthday on top of that.

“It really is good.” Zayn confirmed after taking the first bite and Niall smiled proudly, even if he was aware that they were just playing pretend right now basically.

“I mean, probably not as good as it would have been if I had made it myself because I am such a talented baker, but… “ He joked, making some movement with his hand.

“Are you?” Liam asked with a pulled up eyebrow and Niall shoved him softly, playfully, feeling a bit better when he saw the older man smiling. He almost leaned over to kiss Liam, out of reflex, but then luckily remembered that Zayn was right there.

There was silence for another second, Zayn took another bite and then his eyes suddenly got a bit bigger.

“Are these… “ He was referring to the ultrasound pictures that were still lying there, seemingly very much to his surprise. “Can I…?”

“Sure, go ahead.” Niall told him, hoping that this would be a good way to start a conversation. 

Zayn was very quick to put away the plate in favor of looking at the pictures, and Niall shared a look with Liam, reaching out for his hand under the table, just for a second to squeeze it. “Are these recent?”

“Yeah, from two days ago.” Niall told him quickly, relieved when Liam spoke up too.

“Niall got them as a surprise, the first time we couldn’t see much and… he would’ve only had another appointment in a few weeks… um, we can go back tomorrow to hear the heartbeat for the first time.” He said the last part very proudly and Niall felt himself smiling. 

“That’s really amazing… how far along are you again?” He asked Niall, still looking at the pictures.

“About 8 weeks.” Which was… almost unbelievable to Niall himself. “I had no idea you can see so much on an ultrasound picture after such a short time.”

“Me neither.” Zayn laughed, and when he put the pictures down after a few more moments, he looked at both of them across the table. “I’m really happy for you guys, you seem like you’re excited and as if you’ve worked this all out and… I don’t know what’s really going on between you, but whatever it is, it seems to be working very well. From an outside perspective.”

“It does. Also from an inside perspective.” Niall quickly confirmed, kinda making it into a joke even though he meant it.

Liam just nodded, looking down, and no one said anything else for a few seconds, Niall thought about it, but then he decided not to because he could feel that Liam was about to. “I… I wanted to apologize. For not calling or… I didn’t know what to say and I was afraid and… I know an apology won’t do, and that it won’t erase what I’ve done for years and… I know it seems like I don’t care about our friendship, that maybe I haven’t cared for a long time, but I always did. I just… I thought it was okay to just focus on work and ignore everything else, I realize now that that is definitely not okay, especially because you wanted to talk about it so often and… I know I don’t actually deserve that you’re giving me a another chance. But I promise I will do better.”

“I’m sorry too, for quitting out of the blue and-“

“No, please don’t apologize, Z. It was all my fault, you were right to quit, and I think it was a good idea, I needed that wake up call even though I didn’t even deserve it and- I’m just so sorry for it all, not only that I lied about Niall and for whenever I snapped at you, but for all those years I’ve been taking you and your help at the firm for granted… especially lately. I’m sorry.” He sounded very nervous and Niall knew how hard it was for him so he decided not to care that maybe Zayn could see as he placed his hand on Liam’s thigh. 

“You don’t have to keep apologizing, I know why you did what you did, and it’s not like I don’t understand. I know this firm is, or was, your entire life and… you know, whatever is going on between you two, I still think it was the best decision I ever made to push you to hire Niall. Because he definitely changed you, in good ways. I mean, just a couple months ago you would have told me you’ve never thought about having a family, that you don’t even have any time and now… you’re so excited about this baby, and even if it wasn’t on purpose, you know… maybe it was meant to be this way.” It was something Harry would have said, and Niall couldn’t disagree with it, but he also thought it didn’t really matter WHY it had happened, because it just had.

“Maybe, yeah … “ Liam agreed, clearly not knowing what else to say, but then he seemed to be giving himself a push. “I also think it was the best decision that you made me hire Niall…”

“Me too. You’ve just got such good taste, Zayn. Unbelievable.” Niall quickly threw in to break the tension and make the other two laugh, his stomach twisting a bit at Liam’s words though, in a really good way. “So… are you guys cool again? I didn’t wanna say anything or get involved too much, but… I was afraid you might never talk this out.”

“We are good again… if Liam feels the same way.” Zayn looked at the other man across the table, and Liam quickly nodded.

“I do, of course, I- I wanted to call you much sooner, I just- I promise I’m gonna do better from now on and… I want our baby to have an uncle Zayn, so… “ Whenever he said “our” baby, Niall wanted to cry, but he was keeping it together.

Instead of answering right away, Zayn’s eyes went wide as he smiled. “Now that you say that, I actually got you presents. For both of you, actually…. Or maybe more for the baby than anyone else. I left them in the car though, I’ll go and get ‘em real quick.”

He literally jumped up to leave within a second, and Niall relaxed, relieved that the outcome had been so good. And also that apparently Zayn would be the one to give them the very first thing this baby would own.

“Thank you.” Liam kissed Niall’s cheek out of nowhere, they were still sitting down and Zayn had barely left, Niall’s cheeks growing hot.

“You’re welcome, Li… ‘m just happy you guys made up.” Truly, because it had been obvious how much Liam had been bothered by it all, and he had done so much for Niall and Niall just wanted him to be okay just as much as the other way around. 

They smiled at each other for a second, and Liam kissed Niall just in time to have pulled away again the very moment that Zayn came back through the front door.

“Alright, I just thought this was too funny to not get it. I mean, you’re gonna have to wait a couple months to make use of it, but… “ He shrugged, handing Liam two wrapped presents after he had sat back down. “And this one I just thought was really cute and it kinda goes with the first one.”

Niall was really curious when Liam unwrapped the first one, and it took them both a second to fully get it, but when they did, Niall’s mouth dropped open before he started to burst out laughing. It was a children’s book, the ones that had things to touch inside and was making noises, but the funniest part of it all was that it was a book about a dog salon, with fake fur for all the dogs inside and whatnot. 

“I thought it was fitting that the first present your baby has is a book, and that it can forever be a memory of the first time you guys met and Liam didn’t know what a dog salon was at your interview.” Zayn explained quickly, though they had already gotten it.

“That was the best job I ever had, much better than this one.” Niall joked, still chuckling as he quickly looked through the book, not being able to believe that such thing even existed. 

“Thank you so much, Z. It’s very thoughtful.” Liam was still amused as well while going to unwrap the second present as well. It was a dog plushie to go along with the book, and Niall still couldn’t believe how much thought Zayn had actually put into these presents. 

“At least you can make use of that one almost right away. I thought it was really cute.” Zayn shrugged, returning the smile the other two threw at him and Niall was a bit surprised when Liam got up to walk around the table, making the other man stand up as well to pull him into a hug.

Thank fucking god.

“Thank you, Z… for everything.” Liam told him while Zayn was hugging him back, petting his back.

“You’re welcome, Payno.” Zayn answered, still smiling, and Niall took a picture of them, because why the hell not?

He also took one of the presents to show to Harry and Louis because they were just too fucking funny. Also a little bit because he wanted to remember everything about this entire journey, like, the more he let it all sink in, the more excited did he get about it all. Liam had been right, they would be able to figure this all out, even if it hadn’t looked like it for a while.

\-----------------------

Zayn stayed for quite a while, and Liam was honestly just happy that things seemed as if they had gone back to how they hadn’t been in ages. As it turned out, the position Zayn had been offered a while ago had still been free because they had found no one to fill it, so he had kinda immediately had a job right after quitting, which made Liam feel at ease. Also, Niall and Zayn got along really well too, obviously, and it was just… a very blissful evening, even if they went to bed way too late and would be completely exhausted tomorrow at work.

“Thank you again, Nialler, for today. I know I said I didn’t want you to even mention my birthday, but I’m glad you didn’t listen to me.” Liam just couldn’t tell him often enough, even as the younger man came crawling into bed after using the bathroom and Liam threw the blanket back for him. 

“You don’t have to keep thanking me, I’m just happy you weren’t mad over any of the things I thought of. Well, actually, Harry kinda thought of the ultrasound pictures, but… you know. Without him we wouldn’t get to go and hear the heartbeat tomorrow.” And Liam couldn’t fucking wait for that, like, just the thought felt so unreal because Niall wasn’t showing yet, at all, so Liam was just so impressed by every tiny thing changing.

It seemed Niall felt the very same, luckily.

“Why would I be mad? I really couldn’t have asked for anything better. And for Zayn coming over as well… I wouldn’t have thought he’d even want to.” Especially after Liam hadn’t had the balls to call him for such a long time. 

“He agreed immediately when I asked him and explained that I thought you really wanted to reach out but didn’t know how.” Niall shrugged, getting more comfortable underneath the blanket and almost instantly moving closer to the older man. “Are you feel better now?”

“I wasn’t feeling bad, but yes… thanks to you.” Liam smiled, reaching out to ruffle Niall’s hair for a second, leaving his hand there for a moment. “Maybe birthdays are not that bad after all.”

“I’m glad you think so now because I definitely want to celebrate mine as well.” Niall joked, but Liam could tell he meant it. Now he would really have to try his hardest to make Niall’s birthday great as well, but he was also genuinely excited about it. Plus, he still had time until then anyways. “Do you feel super old yet? You know, being 30 and all?”

“I think I’ve got a few more years before you can consider me super old.” Liam laughed, wrapping his arms around Niall and the younger man immediately adjusted, cuddling up to him. It was so nice, to just be able to hold him before they went to sleep, snuggle him and to just be close. They didn’t do this every night, but whenever they did, Liam treasured every second of it.

“Hmm… maybe two or three.” He smirked as he turned a bit, so they could look at each other, and before Liam knew it, Niall was stretching upwards, falling into him as he pressed their lips together. 

It was really soft, and slow, and Liam let himself fall back completely, pulling the younger man on top of him instead of the other way around like many times before. Sure, it was already late, and Liam kinda hadn’t thought they’d do something tonight, but now that they were already at it he wouldn’t have wanted to stop.

Niall immediately nudged his lips apart, licking inside his mouth as he put more pressure into the kiss, clearly getting more desperate as Liam moved his hands down the side of his body, moving up his shirt so he could touch his bare skin as they snogged.

They didn’t kiss for very long before Niall was already pulling back, kissing the corner of Liam’s mouth as he whispered against the older man’s skin. “Actually… I got one more present for you… “

His voice and what he was implying was making Liam shiver a bit, but he decided he wasn’t going to stop Niall tonight. Then again, he rarely did, he was just worried at times whenever Niall wanted for Liam to just enjoy himself that the younger man wasn’t getting any pleasure from it, even if Niall continuously denied that.

Niall kissed him again, deeply but briefly, before moving down Liam’s jaw and neck. The older man had never worn a shirt to begin with, so Niall had free access as he placed open mouthed kisses down the older man’s chest and Liam tangled his fingers into Niall’s hair, watching him closely. They had done this so many times that they knew exactly how to turn the other person on quickly. But it was probably mostly the fact that this was Niall that Liam felt this way.

The younger man stopped to briefly suck on Liam’s nipples, fingers ghosting over his skin before he continued to kiss down his stomach and to the hem of his boxer shorts. The material was thin enough for Liam to feel the younger’s hot breath as he teased him, placing light kisses over Liam’s clothed dick as Liam’s hand was cramping a bit in his hair.

“Niall… “ The word just fell out with no real purpose, but it made Niall stop the teasing, instead moving a bit so he could try and pull down Liam’s boxer shorts just enough to pull out his half hard erection. Fuck, it was always so hot whenever Niall would blow him or stroke him until he was fully erect and just the thought made Liam shiver.

He let his eyes fall closed, well aware that he’d come way too quickly if he’d watch Niall, see his mouth stretching over his dick or his hands wrapped around him. It had happened before, way too many times.

Niall didn’t immediately go for it, he wrapped his hand around Liam’s dick, stroking him slowly without grabbing a very tight hold of him, his tongue unexpectedly licking over the head, making Liam moan quietly as he struggled to keep it down. 

Niall’s palm felt rough against his skin and it just made the whole experience even better as the younger man continued to wank him, spreading the precum along Liam’s length to make the glide easier, his fingers occasionally moving positions to cup and stroke Liam’s balls because he knew how sensitive the older man was. 

“Niall… please… “ Liam just couldn’t take it any longer after a while, he loved those tentative touches, the built up and the teasing, but he also didn’t wanna come anywhere except for inside Niall’s mouth right now.

Niall took pity on him almost immediately, pulling back his foreskin before pressing his lips against Liam’s sensitive skin, tongue darting out while he kept his hand wrapped around the base of Liam’s dick, where his knot would swell soon. He was licking Liam’s cock while the older man was moaning above him, pressing his tongue against the slit to swallow his precum and just the thought of it without watching turned Liam on.

When Niall FINALLY put Liam into his mouth, it felt so much more intense than Liam had anticipated, the memory of it never doing the action quite justice. Niall was so bloody good with his mouth it should have been illegal, the way he was bobbing his head on Liam’s deck, his fist creating pressure around the growing swell of Liam’s cock to make sure he wouldn’t choke.

“ _Fuck_ … so fucking good, Niall… “ Liam couldn’t hold back his moans anymore as Niall was blowing him, going faster and then slowing down again a moment later to drag it out, even if it got Liam frustrated, it was bloody hot at the same time and he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. “Please don’t stop… _ah_ … “

Niall did him the favor, pulling off for just a moment to mouth at the base of Liam’s knot instead while wanking him before swallowing him once more, and right before Liam thought he simply couldn’t take it anymore, Niall let go for another second, petting the older man’s thigh. “Fuck my mouth.”

Shit.

Whenever Niall let him do that, Liam lasted maybe a couple seconds, he was always super scared of accidentally chocking Niall, but usually the younger man made sure he didn’t by keeping a hand on him, the other one around Liam’s knot. Or as far as his fingers could reach.

Liam went slow thrusting up inside Niall’s hot mouth, grunts escaping him as he tried his best to hold back for as long as somehow possible, to not go too fast or too deep or hurt the younger man on accident.

“Ni… ‘m gonna-“ 

Liam barely brought it out in time, but Niall didn’t pull away anyways, his hand was squeezing around Liam’s knot as he continued to blow him while the older man released into his mouth. It felt so fucking good to have Niall working him through it, swallowing his jizz and licking the head of Liam’s cock clean while he was coming down from it until he was starting to feel too sensitive.

Liam’s body still felt really heated as he tried to catch his breath, barely having the energy to kiss back as Niall crawled up again to connects their lips, hand in his own pants as he was jerking himself off while plunging his tongue inside of Liam’s mouth for a deep and dirty kiss.

Despite feeling a little weak and exhausted, Liam made sure to push Niall over, the younger man whining when Liam lied on his side, replacing Niall’s hand with his own as he was wanking him, not even bothering to pull off his pants beforehand. They were forced to stop kissing, Niall because he was moaning, keeping Liam’s head close to his though, and Liam because he had never had a chance to fully come down from his orgasm and his lunges were still screaming for air.

“ _Liam_ … “ Niall was moaning in pleasure as Liam went faster, wanting all those sounds coming out of the younger man’s mouth as he got him off, to feel the same pleasure he had just felt thanks to him.

When Niall reached his high, he pressed his lips back against Liam’s right before coming all over his hand and into his joggers as Liam was working him through it, sloppily kissing him as far as they could manage. Jesus Christ.

“Sensitive… “ The younger man whined when Liam didn’t let go of him immediately after, tightening his arms around Liam’s neck as he held him close, his breath still going heavy against the older man’s skin. 

Liam kinda wiped his hand on Niall’s pants because he’d have to take them off anyways before pulling it out, getting them into a more comfortable lying position so they could calm down and catch their breath. This was nowhere the kinda sex they had had in the very beginning, and still sometimes had for fun, and even though Liam knew that maybe he was the only one thinking that, it felt a lot more meaningful to him. It was much more about being close to one another, wanting to make the other one feel good rather than just having fun and getting off.

The way Niall behaved and how much he always was so needy and cuddly afterwards gave Liam hope that maybe he felt the same way, but he was too afraid to ask. As usual.

They were just lying there for what felt like ages, in a good way, and in the end Niall barely managed to kick off his pants, refusing to get up or let go of Liam when the older man covered them both with the blanket and they fell asleep like that. 

Clearly, Liam’s best birthday ever.

\-----------------------

“I’m bored.” Niall really meant it, he had thought about holding back and not saying it, but he was just SO bloody bored. 

“I’m almost done.” Liam promised, out of breath, probably because he hadn’t worked out in weeks, especially not like this, and especially not with Niall watching the entire time. But then again, Niall didn’t care, he just wanted Liam to be done right now.

“At least take off your shirt.” The younger man demanded, because sweaty Liam was quite a sight, but sweaty AND half naked Liam would have been way better. “… hey! I’m eating.”

“You wanted me to take it off.” Liam was laughing just as breathlessly now while continuing his work out. He had simply taken off his sweaty shirt and thrown it right on top of the yoghurt Niall had been eating. Or still was, because he refused to throw it away.

Things had been kinda good for the past month, Niall had definitely noticed multiple changes not only in his appearance but also internally, and it was a little bit scary, but definitely nowhere near as scary as whenever he saw Harry’s stomach and imagined he would look like that in a few months. Also, Niall was ONLY 3 months along and he already felt like it had been a year or something. 

Plus, now he kinda always had to eat and he knew it was because of his pregnancy but he also just could not stop and Liam wasn’t really helping by constantly giving and buying him all this bloody food.

Watching Liam working out with no shirt on was definitely more entertaining, but Niall was still happy when he was finally finished because he was long done with his yoghurt at this point as well. 

“See how much more sense it makes for you to work out at home, now you only have to go upstairs to shower and you won’t have to drive home.” Niall argued as he walked over, wrapping his arms around an out of breath Liam, ignoring the fact that his skin was all sticky with sweat.

That was another thing, he just could NOT bloody stay away from him. Ever.

“You just didn’t want to come to a real gym with me.” Liam laughed, hugging Niall back tightly for a moment, dropping a kiss on the top of his head and Niall only allowed him to pull away if he held onto his hand. 

“Because I don’t wanna go to a public gym just to sit around, while pregnant, with all the other Alphas there and you getting panicked that one of them will, I don’t know, ask me to have sex with him.” That’s what would have happened, probably not the last part, but in Liam’s mind anyway.

“Right. And it has nothing at all to do with the fact that you’re afraid of every single Omega that we’ve randomly walked past on the streets, or at the mall, or at work, or-“

“No? I’ve told you, I just wanna protect you from them, I’ve seen how some of them look at you. Who knows what they would try to get with you?” Seriously.

Liam was just shaking his head as an answer to that, but there was a smirk on his face as they walked upstairs. Niall discarded the empty yogurt container in the kitchen, having _allowed_ Liam to go ahead to the bathroom without him.

When he arrived, the older man had fully undressed, and Niall didn’t think as he simply took off his own clothes as well. Obviously he would shower with Liam, that wasn’t even a question, and judging by the older man’s look, he was very much on board with that as well.

“We only got 30 minutes before we have to leave.” He reminded Niall, who ignored the statement as he got into the shower even before Liam. 

At first, they did actually clean themselves because Liam had been sweating a lot and probably wanted to not stink for when they’d go and visit Louis and Harry, but then Niall got bored of that very quickly. Also, feeling Liam’s hand on his stomach as the older man pressed himself up behind him did a lot of things to Niall.

“You’ve finally gotten a bump…” Liam half whispered as he kissed Niall’s shoulder, rubbing his palm over Niall’s skin and even just that was turning Niall on more than it should have. 

“Yeah… please keep touching me… “ Niall gave back, leaning his head against Liam’s shoulder a he let his eyes fall closed, pressing his ass against Liam’s dick while the older ma continued to stroke him, always avoiding where Niall wanted it the most.

It felt really fucking good, having Liam caressing his skin, rubbing his stomach while kissing whatever part of Niall’s skin he could reach, slowly rocking his hips against the younger man to get some friction. When he reached Niall’s nipples though, Niall jerked a little bit, but the very slight pain very quickly turned into pleasure as Liam continued to rub them with his palms, squeezing them gently until Niall moaned.

“Are they still sensitive?” The older man asked, more as if he wanted to make sure that yes, they were, not because he was worried.

“More than before, but it feels really good… Liam… “ Niall sighed the older man’s name, not even really knowing what he wanted, but maybe he just wanted this to last forever.

At some point, one of Liam’s hands left to sneak between Niall’s arse cheeks, fingering him slowly to make sure he was ready and Niall’s cock was already red and angry at this point, so he felt nothing besides relief when Liam finally pushed his erection inside of him with one thrust. 

“Liam… please… “ Niall begged quietly, having to lean forward a bit to support himself against the shower wall, wrapping his free hand around his own erection. 

Liam started out slow, one arm around Niall’s stomach as he fucked into him, going a lot faster and harder when the younger man’s moans started to get louder and louder, only the running water numbing them a little bit.

“Li- Li, _please_ , please make me come, I can’t- please, _aaah_ , right th- _yeah, please, please!_ ” Niall had no idea anymore what was coming out of his mouth as soon as Liam was hitting his prostate dead one, keeping that exact angle as he was grunting into Niall’s ear, almost making him slip because of how fast he was rabbiting inside of him. 

His knot had almost fully expanded, so the stretch was a lot, but so bloody good and the perfect mixture of pleasure and pain towards the end of it, where Niall was almost screaming from feeling so fucking good. It was basically over the moment Liam’s fist curled around his erection and Niall came all over his hand and the shower wall while the older man was still chasing his own orgasm, fucking Niall even harder before he came as well. 

It seemed that the longer Niall was pregnant, the more horny both of them were, and the more intense and longer their orgasms were as well. So if everything failed, they could always do this and relief some tension.

“Bloody hell… “ Liam groaned as they were coming down from it and he pulled his softening cock out of Niall’s ass, immediately wrapping both arms around him from behind to pull him against him, holding him tightly. “You feel so bloody good, Nialler, you’ve no idea… I could do this all fucking day…”

“We could… we could cancel and-“

“We can’t. But we can leave early, say we’re tired…” The older man suggested, putting Niall a little bit at ease as he turned his head so they could kiss over his shoulder.

Well, now he really did not want to go to Harry’s and Louis’ place anymore.

\----------------------

Liam had kinda gotten used to this during the past month, it was kinda like having a family really, and even the two girls were starting to warm up to him, the younger one especially. It was really nice, also because Harry had known Zayn for years, so he simply invited him along sometimes and they actually had a really good time.

Well, provided Niall had a day where he managed to untangle himself from Liam and not get jealous the very moment that anybody else talked to him for too long, because… it was something that had started to happen like 3 weeks ago with someone from work. And it had taken Liam AGES to figure out why Niall had suddenly been so bloody irritated for the rest of day.

And here Liam had been thinking he had to be embarrassed about not wanting any Alphas except Zayn and Louis near the younger man. At least the feeling was very mutual, and Liam kinda enjoyed it, even if that meant that they could, for example, not go to a public gym because it would have only stressed both of them out.

No idea how actual couples did this, how Harry and Louis did this, because they never behaved like Niall and Liam did, at least not in front of them. It did make Liam think, and he was sure it made other people think too, but… what was he supposed to do?

He wasn’t pushing this on Niall or anything, they were just both feeling very much as if they couldn’t survive without the other’s presence, which, of course, was very much based on their nature as Alpha and Omega, but still.

It felt a lot more intense than Liam had always thought it should have felt.

“Uncle Niall!” Almost immediately upon them arriving, the girls were fighting over who got to hug Niall first, and it always warmed Liam’s heart to see him with them, or kids in general. He’d make the best dad, there was no doubt in Liam’s mind. 

“Hi, girls. Are you doing okay?” Niall had gotten down a bit hug them, kinda ignoring Harry, who had opened the door for them, watching them with a smile as well. 

“Yes! You have to come and see what I put into my room, okay?!” Josie was clearly the most excited, but she did look at Liam after to smile at him too, probably sensing that her father was about to say something. “Hi, Liam.” 

“Hi!” Clara had quickly figured out that her sister had taken over Niall, so she came over to Liam instead, stretching her arms out towards him. To say that they had very quickly adapted after having met him properly only around 3.5 weeks ago was an understatement.

“Hi, guys.” Liam only picked Clara up when she started jumping up and down, still with her arms stretched out towards him, and she seemed very satisfied with that. At least this was good practice for Liam, because he wasn’t the greatest with kids simply because he had ZERO experience. Niall had told him he thought Liam was doing just fine with the girls, but Liam wasn’t that sure about it.

“Okay, I see you guys have got this under control, I’ll go and see if Louis needs any help in the kitchen.” Harry seemed actually relieved that they were kinda babysitting now.

“We can help too, it’s-“

“No, please, they really wanted to show you their rooms for days now. Right, girls?” He asked and the answer was more than just clear, especially Josie pulling on Niall’s hand as if she wanted to keep it.

They did go and briefly say hi to Louis as well before being dragged away. Or Niall more like, Liam just followed still with Clara in his arms because the little girl told him he needed to see their rooms too.

“Wow, look at that, that’s amazing. Did you pick out all those pictures?” Niall asked as soon as they had entered Josie’s room, and Liam had to bite the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t laugh when Clara whispered in his ear that her room was a lot better anyways.

He really enjoyed spending time with them, even though they started pulling out all their toys and Clara got a bit upset when they didn’t immediately go to see her room as well. The girls still had no idea that Niall was pregnant, they had all mutually agreed that maybe it was best to just wait for a bit longer.

Harry was over 7 months so he didn’t really have that much time left until they’d have a new baby, and Niall and Liam didn’t wanna take away from that by dropping the bomb to the girls. Then again… Niall had already asked Liam if it would be alright if they’d babysit the girls sometimes once Harry and Louis would be busy with the new baby, so they’d be bound to find out then anyways.

“What’s Zayn doing tonight? I thought you wanted to ask him to come as well.” Louis asked when they had finally all managed to sit down and eat. A miracle.

“I think he’s got a date or something.” Harry shrugged, and Liam tried not to think about how funny it was that Niall kept putting more and more food onto his own plate. “Or wait… maybe he didn’t want me to tell you guys that.”

“He does have a date, he told me as well.” Liam threw in, pretty sure that Zayn did not care about who knew. 

“What’s a date?” Clara asked, so then it was Louis’ turn to try and explain it to her, all while her sister was giggling away with every single word he said.

All in all, they had a really fun night, they stayed longer than anticipated as usual, mostly because the girls wanted Niall to read them bedtime stories, and then Harry insisted they played some board game after the girls had fallen asleep. And then of course, Harry and Niall always talked about their pregnancies, for which Liam was really grateful because he couldn’t have given Niall any advice on a lot of things.

Having someone there who knew exactly how he felt must have been a huge relief for Niall, so Liam was really grateful that he had Harry.

When they got home, it was after 11 at night, and it was a Saturday anyways, so that was fine, but Liam still felt tired already somehow, which couldn’t stem from work though because they had significantly less to do now. He had found a replacement for Zayn, but the new guy was completely over-motivated, always staying late at the office and writing Liam emails on weekends and bank holidays. Which annoyed Niall a lot more than he would have ever admitted to Liam, but it was very obvious to see.

“The new guy wrote you another email, I can’t believe it.” Niall was half yelling at Liam from the bedroom, the older man coming back with his toothbrush already in his mouth, not sure why Niall was checking his emails, but then deciding that he didn’t care. 

“What did he write?” Liam asked, but the younger man simply shrugged, handing him his phone as Liam sat down next to him on the mattress.

Almost immediately, Niall sat up too, kinda melting into his body like a cat or something, one arm wrapping around Liam’s stomach from behind, chin propped up on his shoulder as Liam opened the email, a little, or a LOT, distracted.

He actually had to read the email twice before understanding the content of it, and when he did, he was more than just surprised.

“The email is not from him, he just forwarded it to me… apparently he thought it would be a good idea to contact some film director about Harry’s books… and… he’s interested?” Wait, what?

“Wha- are you being serious?! We have to tell Harry, that’s- but wait, is this legit?” Niall had sat up straight now, his arm still around Liam, reaching out to put his hand over Liam’s and make him tilt the screen a bit so he could read for himself. “He wants to meet in person…. Wait, he’s not even in the UK? Harry can’t get onto a plane, he’s seven months pregnant.”

“It is legit, I’ve been in contact with this director before, I know him. I mean, Harry could potentially get onto a plane, he-“

“But it would be an unnecessary risk. Also, he hates contributing to climate change by going on planes and even if he didn’t, he’s got two kids and Louis has to work and Harry still has his yoga classes, he can’t just pack up and meet this director in… Greece?” Well, to be fair, all of this was coming a bit out of nowhere, and Liam knew it was highly inappropriate, but then suddenly, he didn’t really even care about this director or Harry’s books anymore, or the fact that there were many ways to communicate over the internet, even if it wasn’t the same of course. There really suddenly was only one image in Liam’s mind left.

“No, he can’t, but… you and I can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi :D
> 
> sorry this is a bit later than usual, i hope you enjoyed the chapter! as i said and as i hope is obvious, i wanna switch the plot up a bit haha. also i have no idea how i even managed to finish this chapter somewhat in time, ive been writing all day and it seemed there was no end in sight haha!
> 
> have a good week everyone, let me know your thoughts if you want <3 also im just going to say it now bc its kinda obvious, but i need niall and liam to go on this greece trip (to crete, if you all wanted to know already haha) so i can re-live some of my vacations i've had with my family there now that i wont be able to leave the country for god knows how long ha ha!


	16. Chapter 16

“What do you mean, you don’t know?“ Seriously, had Niall heard that right? “How can you not know?!“

Harry shrugged, still unimpressed, just as he had been all along, and Niall had no idea how to react or how Liam could stay so calm. 

“You could be- I don’t know. A fucking huge author?!” Niall was completely not getting his friend’s chill reaction, or more like, his obvious hesitation.

“Maybe I don’t want that. I never wrote these books with the intention that there would be a film about them. A lot of stories get ruined by people forcing them to be made into films, I don’t want someone to butcher the plot.” He shrugged, AGAIN, but Niall still didn’t get it. “Would you want to become well known by one of your songs ending up on a soundtrack for some trashy film?”

“Um, yes?” Niall answered immediately, and it made Harry laugh as if he had been joking. “I thought you wanted people to buy your books.”

“I do, but it was never my goal. I started writing because I enjoyed writing, I only ever sent them to someone, Liam in this case, because you and Louis convinced me to just try. And three other publishers turned me down anyway. It’s my hobby to write, it’s amazing that I can make money with that, but I don’t know if I want to turn my books into films, that’s all.” No idea why this was getting Niall so riled up, it just did.

“But… it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, you could become so rich, you could-“

“I don’t need any of that though. I’m doing fine writing, Louis has got his job as well, everything is good and I don’t know if I want to sign away the rights to someone to make a film about the things I came up with. It just doesn’t seem so appealing to me.” Harry was standing his ground, clearly still against it after they had talked about it for way too long, and Niall was frustrated while Liam seemingly did not care.

It was more like he had expected it.

“You can still think about it, there’s no rush.” Liam promised him, and Harry nodded while Niall was about to lose it.” “I- oh sorry, I need to take that, I’ll be right back.”

And then Liam left the room as he got a phone call, leaving Niall and Harry alone in his office as he pulled the door closed behind himself. The reason Harry was here was because he had wanted to talk about the ending of his last book, and Liam had asked him to come in so they could talk about this email from a few days ago as well. But also a bit because Niall was no help with Harry’s books, and though he HAD found a book Liam had published to read as an ebook, it hadn’t been his friend’s.

“I don’t get it.” Niall told Harry straight out, not knowing what else to say, and his friend sighed a bit, not answering immediately. When he did though, it made Niall blush on an instant.

“Do you just want me to say yes so you can go on vacation with Liam?” Oh.

“What? No, that’s- that’s not- no. I didn’t- it’s not about that.” … or was it? 

“Are you sure? Because if that’s the case I can pretend I changed my mind and once you’re there I’ll call Liam and blow it all off.” Okay, wait, was he now offering to lie so Niall could go to Greece with Liam?!

“It’s not about me at all.” Niall told him quickly, but he suddenly wasn’t sure anymore. “It’s just… I just don’t understand. If I imagine that was me with my music… “

“I know what you mean, and I get it. But I just don’t think it’s what I personally want. It seems really stressful too.” Harry seemed thoughtful for a moment, and now Niall felt personally attacked because suddenly he was afraid that his friend was right. That maybe this was about Niall and no one else. “The thing is, I don’t wanna sign away the rights to the plot, but I also can’t just go and be involved during the whole process, I’ve got a family. And I don’t want somebody else to just go and do whatever they want.”

“I know, but… or maybe I don’t. I mean… I’ve never written a book, I just thought it’s what everyone would want… what does Louis say about it?” Liam had texted Harry about it the very next day after receiving the email, so obviously Louis already knew as well.

“He said he was proud of me but he wanted me to do what I thought is best.” Of course. “Niall.”

“Hm, what?” The other man asked, feeling a bit caught as he had been slightly lost in thoughts.

“I think Liam would take you on a vacation if you just told him you wanted to go on one.” Okay, could he stop?!

“It’s not about that.” Niall insisted, feeling really weird at the same time though, a bit uncomfortable. Probably because he was pregnant, he had felt sick a lot during the past few weeks, so. “Maybe I wouldn’t even come along if he went.”

“Right.” Harry was clearly biting back a laugh at that lie, which only got Niall even more upset. 

“Maybe Liam would decide to make it a Skype call after all.” Most likely not, because the director was kind of old and he had written he already had set ideas and locations in Greece, so… “Either way, it’s not about that at all. And it’s also not about me, if you don’t wanna become famous… “

“I really don’t.” The other man confirmed, and Niall forced himself to shrug as if he didn’t care.

“Fine, then I won’t say anything else.” At least he’d try his best. “I just think you’re throwing away an opportunity. And if someone would think my music was worth being recorded or, I don’t know, used for something like a film, I wouldn’t hesitate.”

“Somebody still might, Nialler. Are you still doing gigs?” Harry asked bluntly, and Niall shook his head.

“Not really. Not lately, anyway… but as I said, it’s not about me. It was just a comparison. But if this is what you want then I won’t say anything else.” There was no point anyways, right? Even if Niall thought Harry was making a mistake, and even if… even if he wouldn’t have at all minded had he and Liam gone to another country together.

They really had no more time to talk about this because Liam came back a moment later, apologizing again for that phone call he had had to take and Niall had no idea who it had been, but it seemed it hadn’t really been that important.

“Okay, as I said, there’s no rush, you can really still think about it. Or just blow it all off right now, it’s your decision.” Liam told Harry and Niall bit his tongue so he wouldn’t say anything else.

There was silence between them, only for a few moments as Harry obviously thought about it, and then he nodded. “Well, if you don’t mind taking time off to go there and talk to him, then maybe it would be nice to hear what he has to say.”

Wait… what?

“I- did Niall just talk you into this?” Liam laughed, clearly very surprised, and so was Niall, because… what was Harry doing?

“No, but I suppose there’s no harm in hearing what this director has to say, and since I can’t go… I’m leaving it up to you if you think it’s worth going or not. The books are under your label after all. But if you think it’s a waste of time and a huge inconvenience-“

“No, no, absolutely not. Things are kinda quiet right now anyways, I’ve hired this strangely motivated guy to replace Zayn and- we could be gone for a few days, no problem.” It seemed there had never been a question in his mind on whether Niall needed to come or not, because Liam didn’t even care saying it out loud in front of Harry. “Well, great, I think it’s a brilliant idea. If you change your mind just let me know, if you don’t I’ll go ahead and make arrangements.”

“You can go ahead, I mean, it’s not a blood contract.” Then he laughed, and Liam joined, and Niall felt as if he was in a bad movie. “Oh shit, it’s already two?! I have to go, I gotta pick up the girls.”

“Right, yeah, of course. Thanks for coming in and everything.” Liam’s mood seemed strangely elevated, and they all said their goodbyes while Niall tried to get some eye contact with Harry.

When he finally did and when Liam was already focused on his laptop again, typing away, the other man just grinned at him, mouthing a silent “You’re welcome” towards Niall before leaving the office.

Niall wasn’t really sure whether to feel happy or not, or whether Harry had just done this for him and was about to say no in the end anyways, all he knew was that Liam seemed extremely happy about the outcome of the situation.

No idea if this was because it’d be a huge deal for his firm if Harry’s book got made into a book or because he wanted to go to Greece so badly, but Niall was afraid it was the first, and that Harry was making him false hopes now because he thought it was what Niall wanted. And yeah, maybe he did want that, but… suddenly Niall was a bit afraid almost, that Harry would back out and Liam would be super disappointed and basically show him that it had never been about spending time with Niall in the first place.

Like… it hadn’t, right?

\------------------------

“Are you okay?” Liam didn’t know why he was worried, or nervous, because Niall looked just fine and he also acted that way, he simply could not stop himself from asking questions like that. 

“I’m really good, Liam.” The younger man promised, actually laughing and Liam tried to relax. Truth was, he was a little bit nervous about tomorrow morning, not because they’d be getting on a plane and basically have a vacation together, more so because of Niall being pregnant and because they weren’t a couple and he’d have to introduce Niall as his assistant and… who knew what would happen?

It had only been five days since Harry had come to the office, and Liam had immediately made arrangements, because Monday was a bank holiday anyways, so… it seemed like a really good time to do this because they would only be gone from work for like, two days.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Niall was already lying in bed, now dropping his phone because he must have noticed the other man’s stare, and Liam felt caught. “Are _you_ okay?”

“What? Yeah, of course. I was just checking.” Liam shrugged, clearing his throat and continuing to put clothes into his bag because he was a different packer than Niall, who had basically done it in like, 10 minutes. “… are you nervous?”

“About what? The plane?” Okay, that had been a dumb question, so Liam just shrugged. “Hmm… I don’t think so, I’ve been on planes before. Just not for that long. I’m excited to leave the country and go to somewhere else besides Ireland. I mean, I’ve been on vacation before, but it’s been like… I don’t know, 20 years.”

“That’s… insane.” It really was, but Liam hadn’t meant it in the way it came out, so he quickly backpedaled. “I mean, obviously I know why and- I just meant that’s a really long time and… I know I was really privileged that I-“

“Li, it’s fine, I know what you mean. It is quite insane. But I suppose lots of people have literally never left the country, or even their hometown.” He shrugged and Liam relaxed, watching Niall picking up his phone again so he returned to packing as well. 

There was a bit of silence, Liam actually closed his bag and then went to the bathroom for a moment. When he returned, Niall had put away his phone and looked a bit lost in thoughts.

“Um… Liam?” He asked, kinda slowly as Liam got into bed next to him, only the light on his bedside table still turned on.

“Yeah?” Somehow, Liam got a bit nervous as he waited, half lying down underneath the blanket, on _his_ side, but feeling the warmth of Niall’s body next to him, the distance very limited.

“What if… what if everything goes really well, right? And then Harry still pulls out?” Wait…

“Did he say anything?” Liam asked casually, because he would have liked to know, but Niall didn’t seem like he really had an answer to that.

“No, I was just wondering.” He shrugged, looking down, but Liam tried not to interpret too much into it.

“Nothing would happen if he decides to pull out after all. They’re his books, I won’t and I can’t decide that for him, like yeah, I own certain rights to them, like that he can’t just go and have the sequels be published by somebody else, but other than that… it’s his right to just say no. It’s got nothing to do with me or the firm, really.” It would be inconvenient maybe, not really for Liam, and usually he’d be upset about having taken a trip for no reason, but like… “I mean… I do have to say, I wouldn’t normally do this if it weren’t Harry.”

“So you’d not give anyone else the opportunity?” Niall seemed appalled at that, but Liam was shocked he thought he had meant it that way.

“No, of course I would. And I have, in the past. I mean I wouldn’t drag you to Greece with me for somebody else. Like, I probably wouldn’t go at all if it were somebody else. Unless it was like… a super huge deal and it was already decided that it would happen.” Which had never happened before, like yeah, there had been people who had had their books made into films, but it had been different, and not very much of a big deal honestly. Most of it had happened without Liam being there as well.

“Okay… I mean, I was just wondering.” The younger man decided quickly, maybe a bit TOO quickly, but Liam just let it drop. 

It wasn’t very late, only 9:30, but they’d have to get up super early so that was why they were already in bed. Except, Liam had no idea if he’d be able to even sleep at all anytime soon, there was just too much going on in his head, and too much had happened today and the last few days and… life was just a bit crazy, basically. Not in a bad way, just… generally.

Niall stayed silent for a moment, then he suddenly moved to get the ultrasound pictures that they had gotten today from his bedside table, and Liam had to admit that he was really happy that Niall seemed to have gotten so much more excited about them as well. 

Maybe they went to the doctor a bit too often, but then again, Liam was kinda pushing it just to be sure everything was alright, and Niall didn’t complain. Also, he had wanted to ask whether it would be alright for Niall to go on a plane and stuff, and of course Liam had KNOWN it was okay because he was 13 weeks, but… he had needed some reassurance.

Even though it still hadn’t completely calmed him.

“Kinda crazy that we could find out the gender soon, right?” Niall asked a bit absently as he looked through the pictures, and Liam was more watching the younger man’s face from the side.

“Yeah… it feels like time is just flying by.” It kinda still felt like yesterday that they had just found out, but then other times it felt like it had been ages. Maybe it just still hadn’t sunk in because they had done no real changes to their lives so far. “… do you want to know the gender?”

“I don’t know… I thought I did until he said that today. I know Harry and Louis don’t know what their baby is gonna be either and I thought it was weird, but now… like, it doesn’t matter, right? I’ve watched some gender reveal parties on Youtube and-“

“You did?” Liam interrupted, very surprised because he had not known that.

“Yeah, a few weeks ago, at work. You were in a meeting.” Niall shrugged, throwing a quick grin at Liam and the older man playfully rolled his eyes. “Anyways, I mean, they seem fun and all, but I just- I don’t wanna do that. Also with the pink and blue, whatever, it’s- I hate that. Like, what if it’s a boy, right? And then he decides he wants to wear dresses and he loves pink, then he’s free to like that because we won’t push any gender stereotypes on our baby, right? So why would we do it before the baby is here? I just don’t like the idea of being excited about the gender of a baby, I mean… we ARE excited about it, no matter what.”

“I feel the same way.” Liam told him quickly, just so he knew, and he was actually suddenly relieved that Niall had said it out loud. Also the last part of course. “People probably just do it for fun. A lot of them at least… I mean, I kinda wanna know the gender, but really only because… I mean, we will have to decide on a name at some point.”

“True… but we could just pick a couple we like. So far I have zero.” The younger man laughed and Liam joined for a moment, because now that he thought about it… he also had no ideas really. Sure, he had been thinking about it, and googling it, but nothing had really struck him as the right one so far. “We’ve got months and months to do it anyways… also, maybe it’d be better to wait for Harry and Louis to name their baby so we won’t accidentally pick the same one and then have to rethink.”

“I think that’s a little bit unlikely, but… I’m good with that.” Also because that was taking some pressure off, at least for a few months. 

“I mean, you never know.” Niall shrugged, and then he put the pictures back on the bedside table, lying on his back for literally only 10 seconds before moving closer towards Liam. “I’m kinda tired but I don’t think I can sleep now.”

“Me neither… “ Liam admitted, kinda automatically reaching out for Niall as the younger man pressed himself up against him and Liam turned to his side, letting his forehead knock softly against Niall’s once they were close enough. 

They didn’t kiss immediately, just kinda stayed close until Niall closed the gap between their lips. And when he did, he did it very softly, not really deepening it either and Liam was very much okay with that. He did put his arms more tightly around Niall, pushing his shirt out of the way underneath the blanket so that he could stroke his stomach.

Niall was definitely showing a bit whenever he was shirtless, and Liam absolutely loved it, because it made it all more real. He could also feel the slight bump whenever he was touching the younger man’s stomach, and he knew Niall liked it because he had always only told him to keep going. His nipples seemed to have gotten a lot more sensitive as well, and yeah, it had definitely changed their sex life a little bit.

Also, the pregnancy itself had made them both more horny, so Liam was surprised that for once, he didn’t actually feel as if they needed to get naked right at this second. It seemed neither did Niall.

God, moments like these, Liam had the hardest time ever not telling Niall all those things he wanted to tell him. Like, just them lying in bed, kissing and cuddling, it seemed there was actually no doubt that Liam wasn’t just making things up in his mind. Then again, the fact that Niall had never said anything in that direction and said things that made it pretty obvious he didn’t feel that way… it was really scaring Liam off.

Also, what was he going to do if Niall just lost it on him? Not only would it make things incredibly difficult and hurt Liam, but it would also create stress that Niall shouldn’t be having when pregnant, so Liam needed to just suck it up.

They made out for quite a while, until Niall interrupted them by yawning. Liam still had his hand on the side of Niall’s stomach and he pressed his lips against Niall’s cheek instead as he pulled him even closer, as far as that was even possible, but the younger man cuddled up against him immediately.

“Maybe I am tired enough to sleep… “ He mumbled as Liam tightened his arms around him, feeling happy that the younger man always wanted to sleep like this. It reminded Liam a lot of a few months ago, when Niall had wanted for them to cuddle more and had cried about it, which still made Liam feel like a jerk, but he could also appreciate how far they had come since then. Or him, more like, because he had been the one behaving strangely.

“Then sleep, we have to get up in a few hours anyways and it won’t be fun.” Liam was already a bit scared about that, honestly.

“… I don’t want you to stay awake though. Are you tired?” Niall sounded as if he was about to fall asleep, so Liam quickly moved to reach behind himself and turn off the lights before squeezing Niall.

“Yeah. Just sleep, Nialler.” Not both of them had to be exhausted tomorrow, one of them was enough.

“You sure?” He kept asking, and Liam felt his heart warming a bit.

“I’m sure. Goodnight.” Liam pressed his lips against the top of Niall’s head, something that would have been unthinkable just a while ago. But now, it only made Niall cuddle closer.

“Goodnight… “ The younger man mumbled, and it seemed he was passed out just a moment later, leaving Liam awake by himself. 

The longer Liam just lied there like this though, thinking about life while Niall was sleeping in his arms and half on top of him, the more did he realize that maybe he wouldn’t mind being tired all day tomorrow.

\-----------------------

_Harry 05:20  
Have fun!!! :D_

No idea why Harry was texting Niall at an ungodly hour like this, all he knew was that he had as they were waiting at the gate to board their flight. After a very long taxi drive and Niall staying awake as the only one because it seemed Liam hadn’t even slept a single second that night. At least judging by how often his eyes were falling closed, and how he really had not navigated them very well through this airport.

Actually, Niall was the one who had brought them to the right gate, to both their surprise.

“Do you really think coffee is a good idea right now?” Niall just HAD to say it as he watched Liam downing that coffee in seconds, and the older man simply shrugged.

“No, but I don’t wanna fall asleep the moment we get on the plane. Sorry if- if you wanted one as well, I don’t wanna rub it in your face.” Now he looked guilty because Niall couldn’t have caffeine and Niall almost had to laugh.

“I didn’t. You can sleep on the plane, you know? I don’t mind it, I might do the same.” Or maybe not, because he wasn’t really that tired anyways. It seemed one of Niall’s best nights had been one of Liam’s worst.

Plus, Niall was too worried about Harry texting Liam out of nowhere to tell him it had all been a joke and that he had just wanted them to go on vacation together because he had thought Niall had wanted that. Maybe he had, but that was beside the point here.

“I know it’s boring to be the only one awake on a flight though.” Liam explained, right before finishing his cup while Niall watched him worriedly, now starting to second guess the flight time they had chosen. “Just tell me something so I won’t sleep in.”

“Umm… I don’t know. It’s too early, I’ve got nothing interesting to say.” Niall admitted, making Liam smile at least. “Not to say anything I ever say is NOT interesting.”

“Of course not.” Liam joked, letting his arm drop around the younger man’s shoulders.

Being out in public like this, Liam looking all soft and sleepy, wearing comfortable clothes because of the flight, and them just being in their own little bubble it was like… kinda Niall’s favorite thing. Because when they were home alone, of course it was just them, but when they were around people, Niall barely paid attention to anyone besides Liam, and the other way around, and it was just really… nice?

Especially because they both had issues concerning other Alphas and Omegas because of Niall being pregnant and scents and all that stuff, so to know Liam really only focused on Niall as well was very calming in that sense.

“I hope I won’t have to throw up on the plane.” It was just something Niall had randomly thought of, but it caused Liam’s eyes to get bigger immediately.

“Do you feel sick? I thought it was starting to get better and-“

“It has. But you never know. Not just because of the pregnancy, but also because I’ve not been on a plane in a long ass time. I’ll try my best to avoid your lap.” Niall promised, grinning so Liam would know he hadn’t truly been that serious. Maybe just a little bit.

“Please tell me if you feel sick, okay? Not because I don’t want you to puke on me, but because I don’t want you to feel sick at all… not that I can change it, but… “ Okay, now he looked a bit helpless and Niall regretted what he had said.

“Don’t worry, I’m just fine, I was joking to keep you awake. We could also go and buy some snacks though if that will wake you up.” Also, Niall really wanted snacks.

Of course Liam agreed immediately, refusing to let Niall pay as they went to get their, or Niall’s, snacks, and for the moment, Liam actually looked very much awake again. They talked until they were boarding the plane, and Niall had to admit, he was very, very happy he had not allowed Liam to book them first class seats, because being this close to him definitely had its perks.

Niall made sure to text back Harry before the plane took off, and he was definitely not surprised when Liam’s head landed on his shoulder after ten minutes, their conversation stopping abruptly as the older man fell asleep.

It was usually the other way around, Niall falling asleep on Liam, but he really enjoyed it this way as well, it was kinda really calming but also comfortable to just lean his head against Liam’s, feeling the older man against him, knowing he could finally catch up on that sleep.

Niall may or may have not taken a selfie like this for future reference, and linked his arm through Liam’s to draw random patterns on his skin, but he was sure Liam wouldn’t have minded either way.

This flight could have honestly lasted twice as long as it did.

\------------------------------------

“That’s literally _insane_ , Liam. The view… I don’t even know what to say anymore.” Niall was taking more picture than he would ever need once they had reached the hotel room while Liam was just watching him with an amused grin, and a bit of pride in his chest. 

The younger man had already been shocked once he had just seen the hotel from the outside, and Liam had been surprised by that because it wasn’t the kinda hotel he would have normally chosen, but it was very convenient. Then again, he hadn’t really considered that his own standards were probably through the roof by now.

“I’m glad you like it.” Really damn glad. 

“I LOVE it.” The younger man promised as he kept walking around to look at everything, and at least Liam was having so much fun watching him that he didn’t feel the need to immediately fall back onto the mattress and take another nap.

The one on the plane had actually made things worse, or so it felt like. 

“Do you always sleep in places like this when you travel?” Niall asked before opening the giant window to look out and down onto the beach. 

“No, I- well, actually, I was a bit afraid you’d think I was trying to save money, but it was really short notice and also, the location is a lot more convenient than-“

“Wait, wait… how can you _save_ money in a place like this?! Do you usually rent a whole mansion?” He had turned around immediately, seemingly surprised, and Liam would have laughed, but now he just felt weird.

“No, but… I feel like a real snob now.” Truly.

“Don’t, I know we have very different standards, I- I just can’t believe it. Maybe other people travel this way all the time also, but I’ve just not been anywhere in so long and… “ He shook his head, as if he still couldn’t believe it, and then his eyes got a bit wider. “I know you’re super tired, but we’ve got all day, right? Can we go to the beach after you’ve taken a nap?”

“Ni, we can go right now, I’m fine, I don’t need a nap. We can do whatever you want... provided you let me put sunscreen on you first.” Tons of it.

“But it’s not even that hot anyways, it’s like, barely about to be summer.” Niall complained immediately, and it almost amused Liam, but then again, he REALLY wanted Niall to wear sunscreen. Looking at him, he’d just burn up within seconds. Hadn’t they even talked about that once, months ago at the park?

“It’s not about how hot it is, the sun is shining.” Liam told him, forcing himself to get up from the bed where he had been sitting to go search through his bag. “At least your shoulders and your face.”

“Fine, whatever, if that makes you feel better.” Niall shrugged, his eyes still fixated on whatever was outside of the window while Liam tried not to fall asleep standing up. They really shouldn’t have taken such an early flight, they had more than enough time to spend by themselves because they’d meet with the director tomorrow and that was it really.

They could have easily flown home Monday morning and not even missed a single day at work, but why would Liam have wasted such a chance?

“Okay, turn around.” Liam ordered once Niall had taken off his shirt, but the younger man refused.

“No, let me smell that first… put some on the back of my hand.” He told Liam, so the older man did, suppressing a sigh as he watched Niall inspect the sunscreen. “It stinks. Also, it smells kinda bad and-“

“Niall, please.” Liam interrupted, not really that annoyed but actually rather amused. But also worried because he really needed Niall to not burn up like crazy. “After a couple minutes it will be like you’ve not even got anything on.”

“Are you sure?” Niall asked, taking a step back, but Liam simply followed him.

“Yes, very sure. I’ve used this sunscreen many times.” He lied, and he knew that Niall knew that he had just bought it for him, but at least he let himself be talked into turning around this time.

It was barely noticeable that Niall had a bump when he was shirtless, it might have as well been that he had been eating right before, but Liam still had a hard time not staring. So maybe he was a little bit glad that he was just staring at Niall’s back, it made it easier. Not so much that he was touching him though.

“You can just keep going, you know. It feels really good, like you’re giving me a massage.” Niall joked, but Liam felt like he was kinda telling the truth, so he did Niall the favor. Also because that meant he could put more sunscreen on him and possibly save him a sunburn.

“Okay, turn back around.” Liam told him after a while, hoping that Niall would not notice that there was still access on his skin. 

“I could do my face myself, you know.” The younger man chuckled, but he also simply closed his eyes and let Liam do it for him. 

After that, Liam continued to put sunscreen everywhere else on Niall’s body he could reach, with no more complaints and even though Niall would have been more than capable of doing it himself, he probably wouldn’t have. And apparently, he also really enjoyed Liam touching him like that.

“Okay, I think you’re done.” After a few minutes, Liam had no excuses left to keep doing, and Niall unexpectedly kissed him on the cheek.

“Thanks. Do you need me to do your back as well? You don’t look like you’ve ever had a sunburn in your life.” He laughed, but he was already taking the bottle out of Liam’s hand, so there was that.

“I mean, it can’t hurt. It’s really unhealthy to get burned.” Even more so, it seemed necessary for Niall to touch Liam right now, so there was that.

By the time they finally left the hotel room at least half an hour and some snogging later, Liam had decided that he actually wasn’t even feeling hot enough to not take a shirt with him while Niall had completely changed into just swimming trunks. So there was that.

“I can’t remember the last time I was on a beach with sand.” Niall commented the moment they were walking towards the water, and Liam enjoyed watching him and his reactions a lot more than the scenery. “Do you think the water is warm?”

“It might be, but be careful, it might be freezing.” Just to warn him, because he looked like he was about to just start running towards it and jump in head first or something. Liam almost reached out to hold Niall’s hand, just to hold him back of course, but then he didn’t.

Niall walked faster the last few meters, and Liam watched worriedly, only to see him not being bothered at all by the water touching his feet. “It’s really warm. A bit cold maybe, but it feels nice…. See, there’s people swimming over there.”

“Yeah… you can swim if you want to.” Liam told him although he himself had no desire to do that, but Niall just shrugged. 

“Maybe later, it just feels nice being here.” He threw a smile at Liam, the sun shining directly into his face and forcing him to squint his eyes a bit. “Thanks for bringing me.”

“I couldn’t have just left you at home, could I?” Liam joked, but he felt a little bit breathless looking at Niall like this, even as the younger man turned back around to stare at the water and the horizon. All while Liam was basically just trying to be subtle about looking at Niall instead. 

They were being quiet for a bit, there were some seagulls and a few kids in the background, but other than that, it was really just the water and the sand and Niall and Liam, and for a few moments, Liam was pretty sure he had never felt more at peace in his life. It felt like they had always been meant to be in this very place, in this moment in time, just the way they were, with all the things that had happened leading up to these minutes.

Of course it kinda passed after a bit, but Liam still felt really happy and he stopped worrying as he reached out for Niall’s hand, intertwining their fingers as the younger man squeezed back, leaning his head on Liam’s shoulder. 

“You know, it’s kinda crazy because neither of us planned this, and just a couple months ago everything was so different for both of us and I know I was really hysterical when I found out I’m pregnant, but I… I think I’ve never been happier in my life.” He said it almost as if it surprised him, and Liam was surprised as well, but more to hear especially the last part out of Niall’s mouth.

Had he really just said that? That being pregnant with Liam’s baby was the happiest he had ever been?

“I mean, some of it maybe stems from the fact that I’ve never been as financially stable with a stable job, but… it’s more than just that. It feels like… like this is _right_ , you know? I sound really cheesy, don’t I?” He laughed, lifting his head off of Liam’s shoulder to smile at him, but Liam couldn’t return it because he was just really shocked.

Also, he had NEVER in his life felt such an urge to tell somebody he loved them, so much that he had already opened his mouth and the connection to his brain seemingly wasn’t working anymore because he couldn’t stop himself, even though he knew it would have been wrong.

So instead, Liam quickly made sure to lean forward and crash his lips against Niall’s in an attempt to stop himself, his arm wrapped tightly around the younger man’s back, pulling him in close as they kissed.

Apparently Niall found nothing strange about this behavior, because he immediately kissed back, wrapping his arms around the older man’s neck, nudging his lips apart. Honestly, this wasn’t super romantic, but it still felt like the most romantic thing Liam had ever done. Kissing somebody on the beach, even if that somebody wasn’t his boyfriend.

They only stopped when the water splashed up on their legs because the waves were getting a bit stronger, and Niall let out a yelp but then he laughed, his arms still around Liam, still standing all up in his space. Neither of them were wearing shirts, Liam still had his own scrunched up in his hand and he had almost dropped it a couple times while they had been snogging. 

“Niall… “ Liam started, knocking his forehead against the younger man’s before leaning back again, just a bit so he could see Niall’s face, the way it was being lit up by the sun. 

“Yeah?” Niall asked all innocently, as if he had no idea at all what was even going on inside Liam’s head. Hopefully he didn’t, hopefully Liam was really good at hiding it, but he didn’t think he was.

“I just… “ The older man started, licking his lips, not knowing where this was going or what he even wanted to say. “I was, um, I was going to, like- ask you, or- I mean… I wanted to, like, talk about… about some things with you for, uh, a while.”

“Okay. What things?” Niall seemed confused now, but also curious, and he was playing with the hair in the back of Liam’s neck, all while they were still holding each other and standing so damn close that Liam could barely even breathe.

“Umm… “ He shouldn’t have done this, he should have not started this conversation, not right here and not like this. “It’s like… about us?”

“You mean because of the baby?” Maybe Liam should have just said yes and made up a lie, or a phone call or… or something. Anything besides the truth.

“No.” He told Niall instead, taking a deep breath, briefly looking over Niall’s shoulder before being brave enough once more to stare into his eyes. “I just… I was wondering, if… you know, uh… in the beginning, when we met and- when I commented on… your scent?”

“Yeah, I remember that.” The younger man nodded slowly, his face still confused though. “What about it?”

“Well, I’ve- I’ve been thinking, like… why I could smell you so much more intensely than anyone else and… you know, everything that happened. And now whenever I can’t stand if another Alpha is around you-“

“But that’s because I’m pregnant. It’s normal. I feel the same way when you’re around other Omegas, I know I joke about it and say it’s not true, but it also drives me insane. But it’s supposed to be this way, so we don’t just walk away from one another because of the bab-“

“Yeah, but I don’t mean that.” Okay, Liam should have just run with what Niall was talking about, because clearly, this was not going as planned. “I… I mean- I do mean that, but… it’s more than just that, it’s- look, what I wanted to talk about… I mean, we will have a baby together in a few months, we will probably be in each other’s lives forever and…. and I wanted to ask you, if you think that, maybe, one day, umm… do you ever… do you ever see us as more than just… what we are now? Like… you know, that we could potentially… be together?”

The silence following that question was almost scary, and Liam held his breath, feeling so panicked all of a sudden that he wanted to run away. Niall’s eyes had grown wide as he simply stared at the older man’s face, opening his mouth just to close it again, and he did that more than once, but neither of them ever let go of the other.

“You don’t have to answer.” Liam finally told him, even though it was killing him on the inside.

“I… “ Niall started, clearing his throat, looking at Liam’s chin for a moment instead of his eyes. “Do you… do you wanna be with me? I mean, I’ve thought about it, like- I know what we’re doing is way beyond being friends, but also… because we were kinda fuck buddies in the beginning, and now I know we’re also influenced because I’m pregnant and- I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to, I was just thinking about it for some time and I didn’t wanna say anything because I didn’t want you to freak out or-“

“I won’t freak out, just, um… I mean… it’s, uh, it’s probably hard to tell at this point, if- you know I feel so much more horny lately because I’m pregnant and I know I’m being drawn to you because of this as well.” So he was saying…

“So you think all of this is just because you’re pregnant?” Well, there went Liam’s plans and also his heart.

“No, I- I don’t know. How could we ever know? I don’t know how much being pregnant influences me and I can’t ask Harry because he’s been with Louis before, you know, and I- do you, um… you’re not asking because you’re like, I don’t know, in love with me… right?” The way Niall was asking, almost as if it was a joke, made Liam’s stomach sink a bit.

“Umm… no, I just- I was asking because I- I could potentially see us, like, being together, you know. Even after the baby is here and- and be a family.” Okay, Liam sounded like a complete fucking idiot now, didn’t he?!

More silence, as if Niall was truly considering it as well right now while Liam just wanted to disappear in the fucking sad. It wasn’t helping that they were still standing so damn close.

“But we are gonna be a family anyways, right? I mean, we’re gonna have a baby together.” He was clearly not getting what Liam was trying to say, and maybe it was a blessing in disguise, maybe Liam should have taken it as a sign from the universe to just shut the fuck up. 

“Yeah… “ He agreed, what else should he have said? It was true, and he was glad Niall saw it that way, just… Liam truly wished Niall would have been on board with everything else as well, because now it just felt like he was relived Liam was lying about having feelings for him, because he had none for Liam. And he also seemed convinced that the only reason he wanted to be around Liam was because of the pregnancy? “But Niall, um… I just- I know a lot of it is because you’re pregnant and our nature and all of that, but, I- you know, there was like- it was different, even before you got pregnant.”

“Different, how?” Okay, this was going nowhere. Nowhere at all.

“Like… um, forget about it. It doesn’t really matter, it’s just something I thought of and-“

“No, tell me.” Niall insisted, holding onto Liam even as the older man had been about to drop his arms because he had gotten really fucking uncomfortable. Also, he already had his answer, didn’t he? Niall wasn’t interested, at least not that way. “What are you really asking?”

“Just- I told you. I’ve been thinking about it and I- I was just wondering if you could ever potentially see us being together, just- just because I thought about it. That’s all.” Not even almost, but whatever.

“I mean… “ Niall started, and then he shrugged, which… was a bad sign. Or maybe not? “Maybe, yeah. I gotta be honest, I’ve not thought about being in a relationship in ages, and I know what we have been doing was going beyond just having fun even before, and now as well, it’s just- I really enjoy what we have, you know? I’ve not- I’ve not thought much further than that. And now with me being pregnant and my weird Omega body telling me I want to touch you every two seconds... “

“Yeah… I know what you mean.” Did he? Liam made sure to clear his throat, forcing himself to a smile. He had no reason to be unhappy, if he was being honest, Niall HAD said they could potentially be in a relationship, that this was the happiest he had ever been, it’s just… Liam was fairly disappointed that Niall clearly did not feel as strongly as him. That he was blaming it on the pregnancy. And who knew, maybe once the baby was here, all of it would just go away and Niall would realize he had never liked Liam that way at all. “Well, I was just wondering. Do you wanna go on a walk?”

“Sure.” Niall agreed, but when Liam tried to pull away, he stopped him quickly. “Hey, um… are you okay?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Liam smiled at him, hoping it wasn’t too fake, so he also made sure to quickly kiss the younger man, distract him a little bit. “I’m just starting to get kinda hungry.”

“Me too… I’m excited to try the food.” He also looked excited, and Liam tried to just suck it up, not ruin their trip or anything, or lower the younger man’s mood. 

It was a little bit hard to pull apart, emotionally, but Liam made himself hold onto Niall’s hand because he kinda really needed it right now. Needed the reassurance that at least it was okay for him to do that, that the younger man didn’t mind it and was squeezing back.

Liam made sure to switch the topic immediately, talking about things they could be doing after tomorrow, and Niall looked and sounded so happy that it almost made up for what had just happened.

Almost.

\----------------------------

“I think I’m genuinely going to burst.” Niall couldn’t stop complaining as they came back up to the room, and he felt a little bit as if he had to throw up.

“I’ve learned my lesson, I will never bring you to another buffet again.” Liam laughed, ruffling the younger man’s hair and Niall felt too weak to pull away, waiting for the older man to find the key card so they could get inside.

They had spent all day walking on the beach and looking around mostly the tourist shops, taking a few pictures and planning things they would do after tomorrow. Liam had been asleep on the beach for an hour or so while Niall had been attempting to actually get into the water, but had quickly given up on it. 

He had then instead been lying on his towel next to Liam, staring at him and thinking about the conversation they had had earlier today. He could feel that it had been important to Liam, and that he had been disappointed or maybe not happy with Niall’s answer, but the younger man simply had no idea what it really was that Liam had wanted him to say or do.

So the only logical conclusion for Niall was to… ignore it?

It wasn’t too late when they came up to the room, but definitely already dark outside and Niall immediately flopped face down onto the bed. Not the best idea considering his stomach felt close to bursting still. Damn this food for tasting so fucking good.

“Are you gonna puke?” Liam joked, playfully petting Niall’s ass and the younger man simply groaned, not feeling up to answer. “I’ll have a shower real quick, okay? I’ll be right back.”

“’kay… have fun… “ Was all Niall brought out, mumbling it somewhere into the pillow.

In the back of his head he really wanted to come and have a shower with Liam, but then he simply felt too weak, and Niall actually had no idea how long he was even lying there before falling asleep.

When Niall woke up again, it was pitch black and he noticed his shoes were gone and he also felt super hot because he was covered with a blanket. At least the feeling in his stomach was gone, and besides feeling a bit sleepy, Niall felt just fine. For about one second.

“Li?” He asked, still tired as he sat up, rubbing his eyes before petting blindly across the mattress in an attempt to find the older man. But the other side of the bed seemed pretty made, so Niall had to raise his voice a bit when he asked again. “Liam?”

“I’m out here.” His voice came back sounding a bit numb, and for a moment Niall almost thought he had been hallucinating or something, that maybe he was still asleep after all.

He got out of bed slowly, his eyes hurting as he finally found his phone and turned on the flashlight to find his way and figure out where the hell Liam was.

They did have a balcony, but it had been covered with a curtain before and Niall had honestly been too impressed by everything else as to take notice of it, and then they had already left the room to go to the beach. Now though, as he slowly stepped out onto it, he honestly couldn’t believe his eyes.

ESPECIALLY that Liam hadn’t woken him to show him.

“I… “ Niall started, but then not knowing what else to say when he stared at Liam, sitting in the damn whirlpool by himself, the sky so clear that Niall could see a billion stars. “I can’t believe you didn’t wake me.”

“I tried, you were really tired, and I didn’t wanna force you to get up and- um, I don’t know if- I mean, you shouldn’t actually be in a whirlpool when you’re pregnant.” Wait… shit, he was right.

“But I’m in my second trimester, it should be fine. Also, it doesn’t feel like it’s very hot.” Niall had walked over to stick his hand into the water, and it felt more like a pool, really. 

“I made sure it’s barely warm in case you woke up.” Liam explained him, but he still looked worried when the younger man simply started to undressed himself.

Liam himself was wearing his swimming trunks, but Niall stripped down naked because why the hell not? His tiredness had washed away as he got into the water as well, keeping just a little bit of distance between them at first. To be fair, the water wasn’t the most comfortable temperature because it felt too cold, but at least that meant it was safe for Niall to use, and Liam had turned on the lights and the water massage things, so it still felt nice.

“This is amazing.” Niall told him as he stared up at the sky, feeling a certain way he couldn’t quite describe. “You should get a whirlpool for your garden.”

“I could.” Liam agreed immediately, which didn’t even surprise Niall anymore as he leaned his head back a bit. “Do you feel better now? It sounded like you were going to die when we were done eating.”

“I think my nap cured me… how long was I asleep for?” Niall hadn’t checked the time, not before and not right now.

“Hmm… maybe an hour? It’s only 10 now.” Liam told him, which didn’t sound too bad. “I’m surprised I’m still awake now.”

“Maybe ‘cos you slept on the beach.” Then again, that had barely been an hour as well.

Either way, Niall was happy that Liam was still awake or they wouldn’t be in here together right now. 

“Maybe.” The older man agreed, returning Niall’s smile for a second, their faces barely illuminated by the lights.

“I really enjoyed today. Even if we had to get up really early and stuff… I’m really happy we came here and that you took me with you. Thank you for inviting me.” He just had to say it, he had told Liam before, but not like this. 

“I wouldn’t have wanted to come without you.” Liam simply told him, shrugging a little bit, and that was already enough for Niall to inch closer, until his hand was covering Liam’s under the water. “Guess we have Harry to thank for this.”

“I almost forgot that we’re actually here for him… I never texted him or Louis that we arrived. Maybe they think the plane crashed or something.” Actually, Niall felt guilty now, but he had truly forgotten about them. 

“I texted Zayn when we landed, maybe they just asked him.” The older man shrugged, grinning a bit and Niall decided that he really didn’t want to just sit here anymore, even if it was quite nice being able to look at the stars and everything.

Sitting on Liam’s lap sounded a lot nicer right now though.

Niall simply moved over, making sure to straddle the older man’s lap as Liam’s hands immediately landed on his hips, pulling the younger man in closer until they barely had any distance between them left. Good.

“I’ve… I’ve been thinking about, like… about what you said. Today at the beach… “ Niall started, feeling like he just HAD to say something about it again.

Liam was clearly surprised by it and he also looked slightly scared, if Niall was interpreting this correctly judging by the fact that he couldn’t see too well.

“I’m not really sure why you said what you said, but… I mean, I don’t know what’s happening because I’m pregnant and- but I like you and… I could, like, imagine that we might be together one day. I’ve not considered it a lot, and I didn’t know you were thinking about this, but… you never know what’s going to happen and- I mean, for now, I think what we have is good the way it is, but… in the future… “ Niall didn’t wanna say things he didn’t mean, or make promises he couldn’t keep, or hurt Liam because he was being inconsiderate with his words. “I just wanted to, like, ask if- you know, if you asked these things because, uh… I mean, do you have, uh- feelings for me?”

Clearly, that caught Liam completely off guard and Niall felt embarrassed that he had asked as he waited for an answer, and then waited a bit longer because the older man hesitated. So that meant no, right? “I just… I wanted to see where you, where _we_ , stand, umm… I’ve also, um, not thought about it in too much depth.”

“Okay.” He had been avoiding the question, Niall was painfully aware of that, but he also didn’t know for what reason. “So… you could also see us together one day?”

“Yeah… I think so.” Liam answered slowly, and it made Niall stomach go all warm and fuzzy as he leaned forward, until he could softly rub his nose against Liam’s before fitting their mouths together.

The truth was, Niall still didn’t know where they were standing, he had never known that, not even when they had started to fuck regularly for fun, and he still didn’t know now. He also had no idea what was really going through Liam’s mind, all he knew was that the thought of dating Liam wasn’t a bad one, at all.

At the same time, Niall wasn’t sure if he wanted to commitments just yet, because he had no idea what would happen once the baby was here, if maybe all his affection for Liam would just disappear and the other way around.

These were very uncertain times, but knowing that Liam was thinking about these things was kinda nice.

They were making out for quite a while, Liam’s hands were stroking Niall’s naked body anywhere he could reach, his fingers sneaking down to rub at his hole while Niall was sighing quietly into his mouth. Liam’s pants were in the way of getting the right amount of friction, and no matter how much Niall did not want to separate from him, they kinda had to just to get rid of them.

It felt so much better when they went back to snogging afterwards, Niall scooting so close that their erections were pressed together while they were kissing, and as Liam wrapped a hand around both of them at once, Niall went straight to heaven.

He didn’t know anymore whether to fuck into Liam’s hand or back on his fingers that the older man was unevenly thrusting in and out of his ass, he was just barely holding onto Liam at this point, breathing heavily against him instead of kissing him.

Right before Niall was about to blow, he stopped Liam from wanking him, grabbing a hold of the older man’s erection instead to guide to his hole, sitting down on his dick instead because he didn’t wanna come anywhere else besides with the older man buried deep inside of him.

“Fuck… Liam… “ Niall didn’t hesitate as he was bouncing on Liam’s lap, the older man’s hands firmly on his hips, guiding him up and down his dick, the noises escaping him only turning Niall on even more.

He truly hoped there were no balconies next to them as he threw his head back to moan Liam’s name as he felt his knot expanding, creating pressure in all the right places and rubbing against Niall’s hot inner walls right before Liam released deep inside of him. Niall followed closely behind, it only took a few jerks from Liam’s fist around his cock and for the older man to lean forward to suck one of his sensitive nipples into his mouth for him to come into the water. 

Niall’s knees were hurting afterwards as they were coming down from it, but he stayed in that position, leaning forward as he hugged the older man while they were both still catching their breaths.

For the split of a second, as Liam wrapped his arms around Niall in return, all the younger man could suddenly think about was how they’d actually make the best couple ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so late im so sorry D:   
> i dont know where my head is lately, im so demotivated and so stressed out at the same time, ive got exams coming up and deadlines and the semester is almost done and i just have to figure out so much shit, rip. hopefully you guys are having it easier right now!  
> i hope you still enjoyed the chapter <3 thank you for all your lovely comments & all the kudos <3


	17. Chapter 17

Niall woke up feeling a little bit hot but otherwise really good, and for some reason even well-rested despite their late night shenanigans, even though he kinda couldn’t remember it so much because he wasn’t really awake yet.

“Niall?” Liam asked quietly, and Niall made some noise, snuggling deeper into the pillow, trying to blindly find the older man, happy when he felt him kissing his cheek, his breath hot against the younger’s cheek. “We have to get up in like 30 minutes… “

“Hmm… okay… “ Niall mumbled, not really sure if he’d be able to get up, ever again, because he was just so comfortable. Except… “… my shoulder burns…”

“You have a sunburn… I don’t know how or why, but… “ Liam told him, making Niall groan because freaking amazing, now he would have to deal with this for at least a week. “I’ve got something to make it better, I can-“

“No, stay here.” He quickly clung onto Liam, moving closer now that he had already started touching him so he might as well cuddle him some more. “It already hurts anyways… “

“But it would make it better.” Liam told him, not moving away but rather wrapping his arms around Niall, so the younger man decided not to care.

“Later… “ He whispered as he pressed his face against Liam’s bare skin.

They had spent a long time making out in that whirlpool last night, and then also in the shower as well as in bed, and Niall had no idea what had gotten into him specifically, but it had just been… a LOT. Of course his pregnancy and all that always played a role in these things, it was just an Omega thing, but still… now that Liam had talked about their future yesterday, Niall had started to think about all these things in more depth as well.

Not like he had never thought about it before, it’s just… where to even start? Did he even want a relationship? Did he want that commitment? Niall was used to being independent (well, apart from when he had lived on Harry’s and Louis’ couch), doing whatever he pleased, living life the way he wanted. Or had to, because of past choices.

He was already kinda living with Liam, but it was different because Niall still paid rent for his own place, and he had no intention of stopping that, he needed the security. There was always that thought in the back of his head, what if it ended? What if they did fall in love and then they broke up, but they’d have a child together by that point, that would keep them in each other’s lives forever? 

And what if they broke up, would Niall lose his job? It weren’t things he could ask Liam, because he knew what Liam would have told him. That NO, there was no way he would ever fire Niall, that he’d always be there for him, financially and also because he cared, because of the baby and… but everything he had said so far, it had been based on a friendship. Well, a friendship with benefits, but still.

Liam couldn’t even know how he’d feel about Niall in 2 years, if he’d still want him, and the longer Niall thought about it, the more did he realize he was falling into almost complete dependency and it was scary as hell. Because at the very same time, Niall now also felt even more drawn to Liam, if that was even possible and it’s just… maybe he had had these feelings all along, before the pregnancy even, he had just really enjoyed not having to worry about them, not having to decide what they were or would be, and just… live it.

But it seemed that Liam had other plans, even if he had refused to answer Niall’s questions about whether he had feelings for him, so he was only leaving Niall more confused if anything.

“Did Harry text you?” Niall asked after he had tried to fall back asleep with no success because his mind had just been running wild, and suddenly he had remembered why they were even here in the first place. Because Harry had pretended to think this was a good idea just so Niall could go on vacation with Liam.

“No, did he text you?” Okay, maybe that was a relief, maybe it was better this way, if Harry just waited until after to pull out. Because it would have been quite embarrassing right now, but then again… 

“No, I was just wondering… “ Maybe if Harry texted Liam in time, they would not have to meet with this director and could spend the day doing whatever they wanted.

Not that they didn’t have enough time for that still, but Niall really did NOT feel like meeting with a director. Also, what did he even know? He had never even read Harry’s books, he had just now forced himself to start reading one of the books published under Liam’s firm and he wasn’t telling the older man about it because it would’ve been weird and also, Niall felt kinda stupid about having refused to read anything for so long.

“Are you gonna tell this guy I’m your assistant?” What else would he have told him?

“I can say whatever you want.” Liam shrugged a bit, and Niall felt it because he was lying half on top of him now, just breathing him in, trying to capture the moment for as long as possible before they’d have to get out of bed. “I can also say we’re just friends. Or that we’re work partners or just generally that we work together or-“

“I actually don’t really care, I just don’t wanna be asked any questions because I’ve got no idea what’s going on in Harry’s books. I mean… is the plot even set in Greece?” A question Niall had been asking himself for days now. Not enough though as to where he would have looked it up anywhere online.

“No.” Liam told him, and then he suddenly laughed, probably because he could feel Niall’s confusion without him even having to say a single word about it. “Parts of it, there’s like, a scene or two in the first book, I can’t remember it right now. But he only really wants to show us one location anyways, we’re mostly here because the director has his vacation house here.”

“Then what else does he wanna talk about?” Just so Niall knew, so he could, like… mentally prepare himself. Or something like that. 

“I don’t know, just generally, I guess. It’s fine, Ni, I’ll do all the talking, no worries.” Liam calmed him, and Niall did feel a bit calmer but at the same time he was still afraid of Harry texting Liam telling him he wanted to blow this whole thing off. Not a good idea, especially not today.

Maybe Niall should have just texted Harry to tell him to wait? But then Harry would have just told him that Niall was imaging the fact that he had simply say yes so that Niall could have a vacation with Liam, which, by itself, sounded really fucking pathetic, so Niall decided to just shut his mouth and play dumb. 

Sure, he felt bad, but maybe Harry had genuinely changed his mind? Maybe he wanted to become famous after all, who knew?

“… I’m afraid we will have to get up if we still want breakfast.” The older man started slowly after a moment of silence, and Niall groaned as he buried himself deeper against Liam, but gave in eventually.

He made Liam pull him out of bed, clinging a bit longer to him because why the hell not? And then he also let the older man put on some lotion or whatever on his sunburn after Niall had looked into the mirror and his eyes had already popped out. No idea what kinda sunscreen Liam had bought, but it seemed he was regretting it deeply by the sight.

“Jesus, if you had told me the breakfast would be like this, I would’ve gotten up hours ago.” Niall told Liam once they had gone downstairs and he was looking at the buffet, seriously regretting that he had made them run late. 

“I’ll remember that for the next few days.” Liam chuckled, ruffling Niall’s hair a bit and the younger man decided that it was okay, even though he had spent some time trying to figure it out before in the room.

He ended up eating WAY too much, of course, and he also talked way too much in between and it seemed Liam hadn’t wanted to interrupt him, because by the time they left the hotel, they were way too late for this meeting.

Whatever, Harry was gonna cancel anyways, right?

\-------------------------

“This is my assistant, Niall.” Liam introduced Niall after he had shaken the man’s hand, gesturing towards Niall, who looked a bit taken aback all of a sudden. They had discussed this in the car before, how Liam would introduce him, that Niall could just stay quiet if he wanted, but it seemed now that all of his calm had gotten lost.

“So nice to meet you. Have you worked with Liam for long?” They shook hands, and Niall’s smile looked a bit shaky, which made Liam feel quite bad, but he couldn’t reach out for him right now.

“A few months.” Niall told him before clearing his throat, quickly adding something else. “I’m really grateful he took me with him, it’s a great opportunity to learn something.”

“Indeed, it is. Well, if you have any questions for me as well, don’t be shy to ask.” The man seemed to like Niall as well, so that was a good sign, not that Liam had been worried about that. “It’s a shame Mr. Styles couldn’t come, I understand he’s pregnant?”

“Yes, and he’s got two young children, it wouldn’t have been possible for him to come along.” And he probably also hadn’t wanted to, Liam was still surprised that Harry had changed his mind so suddenly and if he was being honest, he didn’t really think Harry would go through with this.

He wasn’t the type to go and have his books be made into films, he had even said it himself.

“Completely understandable. I’m sure I will get the chance to speak to him, his work is absolutely mind blowing, when I read the first book I just _knew_ I had to somehow get him on board. I forgot who from your team contacted me, but what a blessing… it wasn’t you, was it?” He suddenly asked Niall, and Liam almost had to laugh.

“I’m afraid not.” Niall told him quickly, and Liam made sure to jump in to say it was one of the new guys he had hired. He also made sure not to talk about him for too long because he knew how Niall thought about him, how much he hated having him in Liam’s presence because he was an Omega as well.

Moments like these, Liam almost couldn’t believe that they weren’t, never would be, dating, but then last night came back into his mind and he quickly thought differently. At least Niall hadn’t said no to the idea of them, right? At least… at least there was a glimmer of hope.

If everything went wrong, maybe Liam would have to eventually tell him about his feelings, that he had all been downplaying because he had been afraid. But honestly, with Niall being pregnant and having the kinda thoughts that he had told Liam about last night, it would’ve seemed counterproductive to tell him the truth.

Even if keeping quiet would probably kill Liam sooner rather than later.

The director gave them a brief tour of his vacation home, which was absolutely insane and Niall turned to Liam more than once to silently communicate that he thought this was man was kinda showing off a bit. Liam would have had to agree, but at the same time, he knew what people like him were like, and if he was being honest with himself… his own house wasn’t so different.

Eventually they sat down on the balcony, overlooking the ocean and the private beach area and though it was all really nice and whatnot, Liam knew Niall wasn’t having the best time. Obviously it would eventually be over and they could be doing whatever they wanted to for the next few days, but Liam still wished he could have changed it right now.

Plus, he was also really worried when the younger man suddenly excused himself to go to the bathroom and Liam almost automatically stopped him to ask if he was okay. Instead, he briefly made eye contact, and Niall smiled for just a second, so that was all Liam got. 

“Um, what’s the location you were talking about?” Liam asked to distract himself, but also because they had kinda already talked about the most important things.

“It’s a beach that reminded me just of the scene in the book… “ The man started, and Liam honestly had no idea what he meant but he nodded enthusiastically, leaning forward so he could look at the pictures the other man was pulling up on his phone. “I would have loved to show it to you, but it’s difficult to get to and it takes a while. I can describe it to you if you wanna visit it, I don’t know how long you’re here for?”

“Uh, a few days.” Liam told him, not wanting to give him the exact number because he didn’t want a second meeting. For Niall’s sake, but also because he wasn’t 100% sure if Harry was really on board still. 

So then they talked about this beach, and other locations, and about Harry’s book that wasn’t finished yet and Liam had to dodge 100 questions about how it was going to end. At some point, he thought that Niall had either gotten lost in the house, ran away, or something serious had happened. Before he was really starting to get worried though, the younger man was coming back outside.

Even outside in the open, his scent hit Liam immediately, and Liam wondered if other people, Alphas mostly, also immediately noticed him this way whenever he entered a room. If at work whenever he walked through the hallways, everyone could smell he was pregnant. The thought made Liam want to pull Niall’s chair closer to his, but he resisted.

“How did you enjoy the bathroom?” The man asked as Niall sat down, and Liam was kinda confused because of the question, but Niall let out a laugh, seemingly knowing exactly what he was talking about.

“That’s why I took so long, I wanted to look at the awards. And that giant poster was kinda distracting me from… well, I felt as if someone was staring at me.” They both laughed before Niall leaned closer to Liam, briefly explaining. “It’s a giant movie poster, and I don’t know the actors, but their stares are kinda intense when you wanna use a bathroom.” 

“You’re probably too young to know that movie, a shame.” The other man sighed as he took a sip from whatever his housekeeper had brought out for them a while ago. “It was one of the firsts I worked on that was somewhat successful.”

“I don’t know the movie, but I know the soundtrack. It’s really good.” Niall told him, shrugging a bit as if it wasn’t a big deal, but it seemed he had said EXACTLY the right thing.

“Oh, it’s brilliant, isn’t it? I think the soundtrack is really what matters in a film besides the obvious parts, but not enough people appreciate it.” He shook his head a bit to himself, as if he was truly sad, and Liam felt like saying something, but he let Niall do it instead.

“I think so too. I mean, I probably think differently about it because I write my own music, but-“

“You don’t say?” He immediately sat up more straight, surprising both Niall and Liam because Niall had obviously just said it to keep the conversation going and not sit there in silence like he had done before going to the bathroom. 

“Um, yes. But, like- it’s not that great, I sometimes play gigs at bars or- things like that. It never, uh, worked out that well, so it’s, um- it’s mostly a hobby now.” The youngest man clearly felt embarrassed now, and Liam was about to tell him not to talk himself down, but it seemed there was no need.

“Nonsense! You never know what might happen. You should definitely send my assistant a link to your social media. You do have your music online, yes?” He asked, pleased when Niall nodded, clearly taken aback, and so was Liam. “Brilliant. I’m always looking to find new talent, and I’ve got a couple friends who are music producers. I mean, not to snatch away your assistant, Liam, but...”

“You’re not, I’d be more than happy for Niall if things worked out.” Actually, Liam would have been over the moon for him, he knew how hard Niall had been working on it for years, how much he wanted it and how crushed he had been that things hadn’t worked out in his favor so far.

“I-I- thank you, I- I will send it. Definitely.” Niall blurted out immediately, his eyes still huge and maybe, just maybe, it had been a brilliant decision to come here today, even if Harry decided to pull out last minute, which-

Well, NOW him pulling out would’ve possibly cost Niall his opportunity, unless Liam could have somehow found a way to blame it on the fact that Harry needed time to think or- well, maybe he wanted to become a star after all? Liam kinda doubted it though.

They stayed for another hour or so, promising all kinda things and Liam felt weird leaving because he could tell Niall was completely blown away and making himself hopes, and Liam was happy for him too, he was just suddenly really worried. Not just because of Harry, also because, well, what if this man didn’t like Niall’s music? Sure, Liam liked it and he thought it was good, but he also wasn’t really an expert.

Then again, it’s not like Liam really had a say in any of that, and Niall would send his music to this man anyways and Harry would decide whatever he wanted, so there was that.

\-----------------------

“- I know, that’s crazy, right? Harry, you can’t pull out anymore now or he’s gonna hate me as well.” Niall had been super nervous when Liam had suggested they call Harry, right after they had taken a car back to the area where the hotel was, and Liam had had to listen to Niall’s excitement for at least 20 minutes straight.

He couldn’t help it though, this was just… it had been SO unexpected, and Niall was still in shock.

“Ni, I- I told you, I need some time to think.” Harry told him, clearly not so happy about this development, and though Niall knew that it wasn’t because he wasn’t happy for him, but because Niall was kinda putting him on the spot right now.

He had Harry on speaker, because Liam had been talking to him before telling him more business oriented things while Niall had been biting his nails, itching to get a word in as well. At the same time of course terrified that his friend would accidentally ruin it all for him.

“But Harry-“

“Just send it to him as soon as possible. I don’t know yet if I’m 100% on board.” Niall shared a look with Liam at this point, they were sitting on some rocks near the beach, the wind was blowing a bit and the whole scenery was kinda stunning. And yet now all Niall could think about was this meeting. “I just… I’m afraid it won’t turn out like I imagined it. And also… the last book isn’t even finished, maybe he won’t like the ending.”

“That’s his problem.” Liam threw in, having to learn forward a bit because Niall was the one holding his phone. “But look, it’s fine if you need time, it’s a big decision. And we will make sure to get Niall’s music to him as soon as possible. Also… even if you did decide to pull out, I don’t think it would affect how he’d treat Niall and his music, after all, it’s not his decision and he has nothing to do with it.”

“I thought so too, I just- I need some time.” Harry wasn’t going to say yes or no now, Niall knew it and he felt bad for pushing so much, but this is what he had wanted for so damn long and- god, he needed to get it together, and stop making himself false hopes like so many times before. “I think he’s gonna love your music, Ni, regardless of anything I say or do.”

“I don’t know if he will.” Niall shrugged a bit, uncertain, and also trying not to sound too euphoric. “It was just really unexpected and I- I don’t wanna hope for something and then it never happens anyways.”

“There’s always a risk, but you can still be confident in yourself. And not everyone has the same taste in music.” Harry tried to motivate him, which helped a little bit, but not that much because Niall knew he was just trying to be nice. “And I- one second. _I know love, I’m almost done and-_ Guys, I’m really sorry, I have to go, I think Clara just spilled an entire glass of milk on the kitchen carpet.”

There was some screaming in the back as well, and Niall and Liam quickly said their goodbyes, but Harry was already gone anyways as Niall handed the phone back to Liam. Now he really didn’t know anymore what to say.

They were both silent for a bit, Niall was staring down at the beach, his face probably getting sunburned when the clouds moved, but he really didn’t care right now. Also, his shoulder had stopped hurting as well, so it was like, whatever.

“Niall?” Liam asked after a while, and Niall just made a “Hm?” instead of answering, still staring down at the water. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just… this was really unexpected and- I feel stupid for being so excited about it at first. And for trying to push Harry to say yes, just because it’s what I want.” Just like this entire trip had been what Niall had wanted as well.

“I’m excited for you as well. It doesn’t matter what will come out of it in the end, it’s still a great opportunity. And it has nothing to do with what Harry decides.” It sounded like a promise almost, even though Liam couldn’t have made promises like this anyways.

“I don’t know… maybe I shouldn’t have even told Harry, I-“ Niall broke off then, staring into the distance before simply deciding to say what he should have probably told Liam days ago already. “I think Harry never wanted to say yes, and he never changed his mind. He only did it so we would come here.”

“Wait- why?” Right, now Niall would have to actually say those words and he was already afraid of the other man’s reaction. Then again, judging by the things Liam had said last night… Niall had no reason to be nervous about THIS.

“Because… “ Niall shrugged, kicking at some stones by his feet. “He thought I really just wanted him to say yes because I wanted to go on vacation with you. And when you came back from that phone call, he suddenly said yes out of nowhere.”

“Oh.” The older man made, and Niall refused to look at him. This day felt really fucking strange, it had started out kinda good, then it had become boring, then suddenly exciting, and now Niall felt guilty. “… did you?”

“I- of course I wanted to, but I didn’t tell Harry to say yes just because of that, and I was also surprised that he just changed his mind when you came back, so I… I wasn’t sure why he did it, I was afraid he’d text you and just blow it all off and that it would ruin your relationship with this director.” Niall was still afraid of that now, and suddenly even more because what if this man thought his music was bullshit?

“Now I know why you asked these questions…” Right, so Niall hadn’t been so subtle about it after all. “I don’t think it will fall back on me, or that it would influence what he thinks about your music. Also, Harry is pregnant and he’s got very good excuses as to why he can’t or doesn’t want to make a big decision right now or travel, so… “

“I still feel bad…” Niall shrugged, because none of this was calming him down whatsoever. 

“It’s not your fault. I want Harry to say yes as well, not for me or anyone, but for him. And I want your music to do well, too. And for the record… “ He stopped for just a moment then, seemingly to take a breath. “I really wanted to come here with you as well, regardless of this movie. And… we can definitely go on more trips together, I’ve not travelled a lot in the past few years, only for work and always just for a day or two.”

“Why?” He had so much money, surely he could have travelled wherever the hell he wanted to.

“It’s not a lot of fun to travel alone and also, I thought I couldn’t miss a day at the firm, so… but now that I know you wanna come… “ Liam shrugged, Niall could see it from the corner of his eyes, and though he tried to really suppress it, he suddenly felt a lot warmer on the inside. “It’s- I really like how much you’re enjoying it here, it makes me feel as if I’ve not really appreciated all the travelling I’ve done in the past.”

“I’ve just not been outside the country for ages.” Niall let out a quick laugh before he finally turned his head to look at Liam once more, feeling slightly better now that he knew that he wasn’t the only one who was kinda desperate to do things and take trips together. “But next time I’m gonna pay for m-“

“Absolutely not, I’m not taking you if you wanna pay.” Liam cut him off immediately, shrugging when the younger man rolled his eyes at him. “I’m serious.”

“But-“

“No but’s, Niall. Besides, first of all we gotta enjoy our time here before we already think about going somewhere else and also… “ He made some gesture that took some time for Niall to sink in, but when it did, he suddenly remembered that he hadn’t thought about being pregnant pretty much all day. 

“The second trimester is long.” Niall told him with a grin, winking at Liam but then deciding to take it back before the older man would get wrong ideas. “Not that I’d accept another vacation from you anytime soon.”

“You really gotta decide what you want, Nialler.” Liam laughed at him, reaching over to playfully push the younger man softly, but Niall simply held onto his hand instead. 

“What if he really thinks my music is shit?” The younger man suddenly interrupted their playful mood because it had hit him again out of nowhere, and Liam got serious again immediately, squeezing his fingers.

“Then that’s his opinion, but it doesn’t make it true and it doesn’t mean that was your only opportunity. I can send it to a couple people, I would have done it sooner, I just didn’t know if you wanted that or-“

“No, I… I don’t think I want that.” Niall quickly interrupted, not even really sure why, but… “I’ll just give this a try and see what happens.”

“Maybe he’ll send it to multiple people as well.” Liam continued, and though Niall highly doubted that, he managed to smile again, nodding. “C’mere.”

No idea what Liam wanted as he pulled on Niall’s hand, but the younger man simply went with it, ending up on Liam’s lap a lot more unexpectedly than he had thought. Niall had sat on his lap multiple times, so that wasn’t really strange, but never really just because, and especially not in a setting like this and- but he genuinely didn’t wanna overthink yet again as he leaned back against the older man and Liam wrapped his arms around his stomach.

“It’ll be fine, Nialler, I promise. One person’s opinion doesn’t even matter, there’s lots of people who like your music.” He continued and Niall closed his eyes, already feeling calmed down again.

“I know, I just… I just gotta not make myself any hopes. I was really okay with my music just being a hobby, you know? And I like working with you at your firm as well, so… plus, I wouldn’t even have that much time because of the baby.” Speaking of which, Niall felt Liam’s hand on top of his stomach and he knew he hadn’t put it there by accident. 

“Well, I’m here too, I’ll help you any way I can and once the baby is here you can take days off and I’ll take care of it and-“

“No, I mean, it’s not that I feel like my time is getting limited, but like, I _wanna_ spend the time with the baby.” _And you_ , Niall thought, but he didn’t say it out loud because it kinda shocked him as well. “Harry always says they grow up way too fast, I really don’t wanna waste that because I’m busy with something else. I mean… what could be more important than this baby, right?”

“Right… “ Liam agreed, kissing the back of Niall’s head. “Whenever we talk about it like that, it just hits me all over again… “

“Me too. Sometimes I just forget about it because I’ve barely got a bump, I can barely imagine what it’s gonna be like in 5 months or something… Harry will already have his baby by then as well… oh god, I’ve never thought about how painful the birth is gonna be. And I don’t want my nipples to leak either, I- I feel really underprepared.” Also, the realization had hit Niall just now, and he would have sat up straight had he not felt so comfortable in Liam’s arms.

“Ni, we’ve got months to prepare, okay? We can get started as soon as we get home.” He promised, sounding very calm, which was good, because Niall really did not need somebody else to freak out with him. “It’s going to be fine. We’ll do our best.”

“I hope so… it gets scary the longer I think about it… “ Also, even now Niall was doing a fairly good job at ignoring it, they had zero things for the baby except those two presents from Zayn and Niall was barely showing, so it was easy, but soon it probably wouldn’t be anymore. “At least I know you will never think I’m gross because your instincts won’t allow it.”

“Why would I think you being pregnant is gross?” Liam didn’t join Niall in laughing about that, for which the younger man was really glad.

“I don’t know, I mean- I don’t know. Or maybe I’ll get super annoying.” Then again… he kinda was already, sometimes. “Also, speaking of me being pregnant… “

“Yes?” Liam asked, now sounding slightly amused but it was hard to tell.

“I’m really hungry. Like, _really_ hungry.” He just had to say it, as comfortable as it was to be sitting here on Liam’s lap. 

“Well, then let’s go and get you fed.” The older man decided immediately, waiting for Niall to get up first though.

Niall kept a close eye on him as they walked back to where the main street was, feeling a rush of affection for Liam, so he reached out to link their fingers together while they were discussing what they were going to eat.

Niall’s morning thoughts were still very present in his mind, but for now he really just wanted to ignore them and enjoy their trip.

\-----------------------

They spent the day eating and then going back to the beach because they had gotten up late and the meeting had lasted some time as well. Liam definitely had a lot to think about, but he really did not want to, so he simply didn’t do it and instead focused all of his attention on Niall and whatever the younger man had to say.

There were a few more times where Niall mentioned Harry, and his music, and also the baby, but by the end of the day, the younger man still fell asleep rather quickly in Liam’s arms, while mumbling something about how he couldn’t wait for breakfast the next morning.

Obviously, since they were in Crete, Liam HAD to take Niall to Santorini the next day, even if that meant they had to get up quite early, but seeing Niall’s face even while they were still on the ferry was way worth everything of course.

Liam had been everywhere they went, but it felt different re-visiting all those places again, seeing the younger man’s pure excitement, how much he appreciated this whole trip and the fact that Liam was taking him to see everything. Plus, of course they got to spend all this time together, just the two of them, and it was also probably the most romantic thing Liam had ever done with anybody. Even though it had initially just been a simple trip for work.

Though Liam wasn’t sure if it was a great idea, Niall absolutely insisted that they went hiking the next day, through the Samaria Gorge. Though the older man had worried quite a lot because it was like 17 something kilometers, he realized afterwards that not even a full day of them just walking and talking had been enough to spend together and talk about absolutely everything and anything.

He could have done this for weeks, maybe months, and not grown bored of Niall or gotten less excited to hear his opinions on things and learn more about him and his life before they had met.

“What are we doing tomorrow?” Niall asked the moment they got back to the hotel room and Liam had to laugh because it seemed his energy literally never seized on this trip. 

“Putting more sunscreen on you.” He told the younger man as he watched him taking off his shirt because he must have been hot and the air condition in the room wasn’t on just yet. Also, it was really late and they had had to take a ferry back and then a bus and Niall had fallen asleep on Liam’s shoulder more than just once, meaning he was pretty awake now apparently. “But we can go to this beach I told you about.”

“With the pink sand?” Niall asked, his eyes already having gotten bigger.

“Yeah, that one. But we can’t stay for too long, our flight-“

“I know, I know. But I need to see it before we leave.” He decided as he continued to undress himself. “I need a shower after this… are you coming?”

Not sure if he had still even needed to ask that after everything. Honestly, Liam could count the showers he had had by himself the past couple weeks on probably a single hand.

\------------------------------

Going home felt like they had barely been away for a couple of hours and Niall definitely was not looking forward to going back to work and all this everyday stuff. Not because any of that was so awful or whatever, just because he really wished they could have just stayed a bit longer away from everything and everyone.

If there was one thing he knew, it was that this trip had definitely given him more things to worry about than the last couple months. Which really said something.

“I can’t believe you’re still sunburned.” Louis was highly amused as he kept staring at Niall as the other man simply rolled his eyes.

“It’s only been 5 days since we got back.” Meaning the memories were still very fresh and even though Niall of course still got to spend pretty much every breathing moment with Liam, he still kinda missed their trip. Even if he had lots of other things on his mind since then. “Apparently the sunscreen Liam bought only made it worse.”

“Pretty sure that’s impossible, it’s just your skin t- hey, girls, slow down!” Louis yelled in the middle of his sentence, making Niall flinch a bit. “Josie, don’t run!”

He took the chance to throw a look back over his shoulder, watching Liam talking with Harry and Zayn for just a second, making eye contact for a moment. Niall had to admit this was strange, all of them going to the zoo with the girls, but then again, maybe it wasn’t.

For some reason, Harry had already invited Zayn to come along and then he had decided that Niall and Liam might as well come along also, so here they were on a Sunday, at the zoo. And the three men behind them were probably talking work-related things while Niall struggled to uphold a conversation with Louis that wasn’t about things he felt no desire to talk about with his friend. At least not today.

“So, how was it?” They hadn’t really talked a lot since Niall and Liam had gotten back, so obviously Louis wanted to talk about it, it’s just… Niall really did not.

“Good, it was a lot more than I expected, like… I’m not used to leaving the country, so… it was great.” More than that. Also, it had made Niall question pretty much his entire life, but he couldn’t tell Louis that.

“You don’t sound very excited.” The other man chuckled, but he didn’t give Niall a moment to answer. “Did you already hear back from this guy? About your music, I mean?”

“No, but he’s also really busy, so… “ Plus, Niall had decided this wouldn’t turn into anything anyways, and even if it did… he was pregnant right now, he wasn’t sure if now was the time to like, think about taking on another career or doing business things? That being said, they had of course immediately sent his music and information to this guy like requested. “Do you know if Harry’s telling Liam right now that he doesn’t wanna make that film?”

“No idea. We don’t talk about it a lot because he doesn’t want to… I think it’d be super cool, but they’re his books and he’s probably also thinking about the future. Imagine his films would really take off, like, that’d be crazy. Not that the writers of the books ever get that much credit, unless it’s some super popular series, which it isn’t, but… I’ve no idea what he’s telling Liam right now.” Great. “I kinda thought he just said yes because he wanted you and Liam to go on vacation together.”

“Did he say that?” Was Harry crazy, had he really done it for that AND told Louis he had?!

“Not really… he just said you seemed very much like you wanted this to happen.” He shrugged, and then he grinned at Niall. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna say it.”

“Say what?” Now Niall was annoyed at the zoo, great.

“What I’m thinking.” Louis told him, still grinning as he looked up to watch out for the girls again. They had run ahead to go and pet some donkeys and were now fighting over who got to feed them first. “I truly can’t wait until they can fight with yet another sibling.”

“That’s gonna take years anyways.” Finally a topic Niall didn’t immediately wanna cut off again.

“I would skip ahead in time if that meant me and Haz could sleep normally for the next year.” That was also something Niall was afraid of, but mostly only because he knew so much from his friends already… maybe it would be different for him and Liam? “But no, I genuinely meant it. I really can’t wait for the baby, like, it’s almost here.”

“Yeah… crazy how fast the time passed, I remember when Harry told me, but that seems ages away as well now.” He had said it completely out of nowhere as well, and if Niall remembered correctly, he had done gone to this bar to play this gig immediately afterwards, where Liam had shown up and they had kissed the first time. And then fucked, but that was not the topic right now.

“I also remember when you _didn’t_ tell us.” It was a joke, and Louis also laughed pretty hysterically at it while Niall’s cheeks were growing warm rather quickly, but his friend threw an arm around him immediately. “I’m joking, sorry. I’m also excited for _your_ baby. I can’t wait to see what kinda parents you and Liam are gonna be… I mean, I know you’re gonna be great, ‘cos you’re great with the girls, but Liam… “

“What about him?” Niall asked immediately, already offended somehow, as if it had been directed towards him.

“I’ve no idea how he is with kids, so… he seems like he wouldn’t really know what to do. But I’m sure he’ll learn and get used to it.” Louis was letting his arm slip, which was good, because Niall had been about to pull away anyways.

“If you ever say that to him I will have to strangle you.” He simply told his friend, who just blinked in confusion before grinning.

“So cute how you’re sticking up for him.” God.

“Lou, please.” Niall would resort to begging if he had to.

“Just saying. It seems you guys are really happy with each other. Not that you’re together, I know you’re not, but if you were-“

“We’re not.” Just for the record.

“Okay, but maybe in the future, you never know. Right?” Niall gave no answer to that, so apparently that gave Louis a signal to carry on. “What’re you so afraid of? That he doesn’t like you back?”

“No, I- what you mean by that anyways? We’re not together.” Now Niall had to quiet his voice, both because Liam was somewhere behind them, but also because they were catching up to the girls now. Who apparently had still not started to question why Liam was always coming over with Niall and also had no idea that Niall was pregnant.

“Niall.” Was all Louis said at first, waiting a moment before continuing. “I don’t know what’s wrong with the both of you, but it’s obvious you have feelings for each other.”

“How would you even know that? You’ve barely even seen us together you-“

“I’m not blind, I can see whenever you touch each other when you think no one is watching. You live at his house, Niall. And you sleep in his bed. And I assume you still sleep with him too. What’s all this for if you don’t have any feelings for him? And don’t say it’s the pregnancy because this started before that.” Well… shit.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, it’s none of your business, Lou.” Also, Niall’s face was flushed as hell and this conversation had come a bit out of nowhere… or maybe it hadn’t? “We already talked about it, we’re good with how things are.”

“Are you really though?” If Niall told himself often enough…

“Look, there’s- I need to think about these things. I can’t just go and- I work for him. We’re gonna have a baby together, we’re gonna be in each other’s lives anyways and- what if we break up? What then? Also, I have no idea if he even has any feelings for me, so-“

“He does. And are you admitting you have feelings for him right now?” God, Niall was an idiot.

“No. I didn’t say anything. Just that it’s not an easy decision and that I have other problems to deal with as well and if things are okay the way they are right now then I don’t wanna change them because it will only stress me out. Also, why’s it even matter, why does everything have to have a label, why can’t we just- whatever. I’m gonna go feed the donkeys, it’s what we’re here for.” And then Niall walked away before it would escalate, because truth be told, he was a little bit on the edge already.

He really did not want to fight with Louis though, especially not about this and with Liam, Harry and Zayn so close to them even though they were literally moving in snail’s pace. 

Instead, Niall went to try and sort the fight between Clara and Josie by handing the younger girl the packet of food he had been holding so they could each have one to feed to the animals. Louis joined them without another word to Niall, but he also really couldn’t have said anything because of the girls, so Niall decided to just stick with them for the rest of the day.

There was a reason he never talked about these things, because once he did, he wouldn’t be able to get them out of his head anymore, like right now.

\--------------------------

The next few days were stressful, not just because of work but also because Niall was becoming more and more aware that his stomach was growing and at times, he really just felt sluggish and not too well. It didn’t help that this director never got back to them about his music, or that he couldn’t stop thinking about what apparently all their friends already thought behind their back. Namely that they were dating in secret or whatever.

So even though Niall didn’t change his behavior around Liam when they were alone, he was holding back now whenever they were around anyone else, ESPECIALLY Louis and Harry. Liam never said a word about any of it either, so Niall decided it was probably what he wanted as well. 

Two weeks after their trip, Harry still had not made a decision because of those films, Niall had still not gotten an email or a call because of his music, he and Liam had never again talked about what they had talked about on their trip, and despite the fact that things were actually going fine, Niall just didn’t feel the part.

So when Louis asked him to play guitar at some party one of his colleagues was throwing, Niall didn’t even think twice, even though it interfered heavily with his and Liam’s weekend plans. Not that they had been set in stone or anything, they could go out to eat and do those things pretty much any day of the week, it didn’t have to be THIS Saturday, right?

“Is it really okay if I go?” Niall felt a bit bad, but at the same time he was also excited to go and do this, maybe prove to himself a little bit that even if some stupid director thought his music sucked, a lot of other people did not.

“Of course.” Liam told him with a smile, kissing him on the lips before Niall opened the door, feeling calmer.

Louis had literally called him an hour ago to ask, because the guy they had hired to be responsible for the music had fallen ill and they wouldn’t have been able to get a replacement on such short notice. Niall had kinda agreed without even telling Liam at first, they had just been at home really, doing whatever because they would have really just gone on a walk and then gone out to eat, so nothing special or anything.

Plus, Liam had looked happy for Niall when he had told him, he had never acted as if he minded moving their plans, so Niall honestly did not feel bad when he walked out of the door with his guitar and got into Louis’ car a few seconds later.

“Hi. You were really quick.” Niall told his friend as soon as he got inside, having put his guitar on the backseat.

“Yeah, we’re already a bit late… I mean, it’s a party, but like, not a _party_. My colleague is literally going to retire after this school year, so no need to play too many upbeat songs, it’s more like… a farewell party.” He laughed, and Niall suddenly felt a bit nervous, but then he decided he didn’t even care. “Thanks for doing this, really. I’m sorry it was such short notice, I just really like him because he was kinda like my mentor when I first started teaching, so… and he’s paying you pretty well. And you can eat anything from the buffet you want.”

“I would’ve probably done it just for the last part.” Niall joked, though he probably wouldn’t have. “How long’s it gonna be?”

“No idea, but I’m sure if you wanna leave after an hour or two it’s no problem. They’re just happy someone is able to fill in.” Sounded great to Niall, and he would have truly been happy right now had Louis not continued as he was driving down the street. “So, what’s Liam doing tonight?”

“Uh, I don’t know. Work, probably.” Now that their plans had gotten cancelled… “Maybe go to the gym.”

“Is this what he usually does on Saturday’s?” The other man laughed, clearly just joking, but Niall suddenly had to swallow pretty hard. They usually spent all weekend together, and he knew it was no big deal if he did something on his own, it’s just the fact that today they had had ACTUAL plans, but… Niall couldn’t change it anymore now. “You could’ve asked him to come. I told you, there’s lots of people, some that I don’t even know, it’s a huge school.”

“I don’t think he would’ve wanted to.” Not that Niall had really thought about it, like… “He’s got other things to do.”

“If you say so.” Louis shrugged and Niall just hoped he would let it drop.

Ever since Louis had been so damn insistent on Niall have feelings for Liam and vice versa, Niall felt like he couldn’t mention Liam anymore whenever the other man wasn’t around. He knew his friend wasn’t trying to get on his nerves, he probably had no idea how stressful all of this really was for Niall, all this not knowing and all these things he felt like he should’ve sorted out, but didn’t know how.

Plus, him being pregnant and not feeling so great some days really was not helping with any of that.

“Do you think everyone there will think I smell absolutely terrible? Or… at least the Alphas?” Niall couldn’t help but ask, but he was literally only now thinking about it. “Do _you_ still think I stink?”

“I’ve gotten used to it… I doubt anybody will think that, to be honest. Also, it’s outside anyways, so… ever since Harry’s been pregnant, not a single person has commented on his scent either. And I gotta say, I also don’t really pay attention to these kinda things whenever I walk past a pregnant Omega in public.” Louis took a sharp turn while saying this, and Niall was just glad he had put on his seatbelt. “If you don’t feel well at any point then just tell me and we’ll leave. I told my colleague you’re pregnant, no worries.”

“I’m fine, Lou. I just notice it in my mood sometimes, but otherwise…” And that could have also stemmed from multiple other sources.

“Poor Liam.” Louis let out a laugh, but Niall completely ignored him, genuinely not wanting to talk about it again.

No idea what his problem was, maybe Niall was a little bit trying to prove it to himself, that he could go and do his own things, by himself, that they weren’t glued together by the hip like their friends seemed to think. That he was able to perform his music without needing any help from some super famous director Liam knew.

Not that any of it was Liam’s fault, not at all, Niall was just happy that he got to do this, and he was excited too because he hadn’t performed in quite some time. Who knew if he’d ever got to do it again anytime soon because of the baby.

\------------------------

They stayed a lot longer than Niall had anticipated, and Louis himself seemed shocked when he looked at the time as they got into the car. Niall hadn’t checked his phone just once, because he had had a lot of fun just playing some songs, and then having people requesting random ones as well and then he had spent some time with Louis, who had introduced him to some of his colleagues and… all in all, it had been a lot of fun. And Niall had even gotten paid for it as well as having gotten free food, so… there genuinely was nothing he could have complained about.

“Thanks again for asking me.” Niall told Louis as he had already gotten out of the car.

“Well, thanks for saying yes.” Louis smiled, he looked rather tired though, and Niall felt the same. “Goodnight.”

“Night.” Then Niall threw the car door shut, having to fumble a bit with his key to get back into the property and then the front door of course.

He was being quiet because he didn’t know if Liam was even still awake, it was like after 1 in the morning by now. Liam HAD texted him two times, but Niall had only just seen it in the car, so he hadn’t thought it’d make any sense to answer now. Especially when the older man had probably already gone to sleep.

Niall was actually still in a good mood as he entered the house, a little surprised to immediately notice that the lights were on, but then he actually felt happy that Liam was still awake so he could tell him all about it.

“Hi, I’m back! Sorry, I only saw your messages now.” Niall told Liam as he entered, kinda just yelling it into the house as he took off his shoes, leaving his guitar by the door as he walked into Liam’s living room slash kitchen area. 

“No worries.” Liam was in the kitchen, doing some dishes for some reason, at one in the morning. But Niall didn’t really think about it. “… how was it?”

“It was so good, like, I usually only performed in bars, but this was completely different. And Louis’ colleagues were all super nice and they had amazing food as well.” The younger man told him as he walked over, slowly, suddenly feeling a bit weird when Liam didn’t even turn around to look at him. “… what did you do?”

“Not much, just a bit of work… and the new guy needed some help with something, so I talked to him on the phone for a bit.” Wait… 

“The over-motivated one?” Niall asked, leaning against the kitchen isle as he was still looking at Liam’s back.

“Yeah.” Right, who else would be working on a Saturday night? It was stupid as hell, but just this alone kinda ruined Niall’s mood. A bit.

“I swear, he’s got a crush on you or something.” He let out a laugh although he wasn’t amused at all, but there was no real reaction from Liam anyways, just a shrug and a “I doubt it”. Okay? “… you okay?”

“Sure, why?” He was now drying off the dishes, so slowly as if he truly did not want to turn around for anything in this world. 

“I was just wondering… what did you eat?” Niall now felt like he was forcing the conversation, like, those vibes he was suddenly getting really were not great.

“Just the food I had ordered for tonight… um, there’s plenty left, you can eat it tomorrow. There’s also the cake you really like.” Wait…

“I thought- wait, I thought we just wanted to go out and eat somewhere.” Why had he ordered it?

“Yeah, I just thought it would’ve been nicer to eat it outside so I ordered it this morning and I had already paid it so… I just went to pick it up. I had to.” Oh. 

“I… I didn’t know you- I didn’t know you wanted to have like a picnic, I thought it was just a walk and… food.” Great, now Niall felt like absolute shit.

“Yeah, whatever. I didn’t tell you, so… “ Liam shrugged again, STILL drying off for some reason.

“I’m sorry, Li, I didn’t know… why’d you only eat now?” Well, that was kinda obvious, right?

“I thought you’d come home earlier, but I got hungry too.” Shit.

There was lots of silence between them, TOO much, and Niall wanted to slap himself in the face as he continued to stare at Liam’s back, struggling to come up with something to say. Anything at all.

“I’m sorry.” Was all he brought out in the end, but the older man didn’t even acknowledge it. “Liam, can you… can you please turn around?”

It took a few moments before he did, and even then he didn’t directly look at Niall, which bothered the younger man to no end. 

“Can you look at me?” He asked again, biting his lip as he struggled to stay where he was and not go to hug the older man. He would have, but he was afraid of what would happen if he did. “I really am sorry, I didn’t know you had anything planned and- if I had known, I would’ve stayed home.”

“I wouldn’t want you to stay if you’d rather go somewhere else.” Liam gave back, looking at Niall for maybe two seconds before starting to put away the now dry dishes. He was clearly pissed. “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not, I shouldn’t have… we had plans, and I just left.” Also completely out of nowhere. “But you said it’s alright, and that it doesn’t bother you and-“

“It doesn’t. I told you it’s fine.” Liam cut him off, a bit harshly, and Niall flinched. 

“It’s clearly not fine. Can we- can we do what you had planned tomorrow then?” The younger man asked, hopeful.

“I think it’s gonna rain, actually. And I was going to go to the gym.” After cleaning up, Liam simply started to walk away.

Niall didn’t know what else to say, he just stayed where he was feeling a bit defeated and so guilty that his throat felt tight. 

“Liam, I’m sorry, I really mean it. I wasn’t thinking, I was just so excited to go and do this, especially because we never heard back from- you know. I’m sorry, I wanted to spend time with you, I just… “ He just hadn’t.

Liam did stop walking, but he didn’t come back or look at Niall, he just stayed quiet for a moment, and then it seemed he couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Well, clearly you didn’t or you would have asked me to come.”

“I… “ Right. Fuck. “I- I had no idea you wanted to come, I-“

“Because you never even asked.” He let out a humorless laugh as he turned around all of a sudden, and Niall was more than shocked to see tears shimmering in his eyes. “Seriously, it’s fine, it’s whatever, you know? You can go and do whatever the hell you want, you don’t have to ask me to come along to anywhere at all, just don’t say things like that then. I’m happy for you that you get to play somewhere and have fun, I would’ve loved to see it, but it’s fine. Jokes on me anyways because I was stuck with all this food and nothing to do.”

“I genuinely had no idea, I- I didn’t even think about asking you because it was so out of nowhere, I thought you surely wouldn’t want to and I also had no idea about the food or-“

“Exactly, so let’s just drop it. It’s not your fault, I’m just an idiot. And I’m going to bed.” Liam tried to cut off the conversation then, but this time, Niall was faster as he came over, holding onto his wrist to stop him from leaving, even if Liam immediately pulled his arm away.

“Why are you so mad at me? I told you I’m sorry, you KNOW I like spending time with you, I was just so excited about tonight, and I’m really sorry about the food and that I cancelled our plans, you should’ve told me how much it was bothering you, it’s not fair that you said it’s okay and then- but we can do it tomorrow instead, even if it’s raining and-“

“I don’t have time tomorrow, I told this guy from work that I’d come to the office for a bit and show him something.” Okay, that was IT.

“Okay, stop, that’s not fucking funny, okay? How many times do you want me to apologize?! I said I’m sorry. But if you’d rather go and hang out with this stupid guy and work then go right ahead. Don’t act as if you wanted to spend time with me so badly tonight and now you wanna spend time with some random employee.” This was SO stupid, but Niall just couldn’t stop himself anymore.

“Seriously? _You_ don’t get to be jealous, not even a bloody second.” Liam gave back, he had turned around again, looking mad rather than sad now, which only got Niall more riled up as well. 

“I’m not fucking jealous, and I never was. You’re the one who keeps looking at every Alpha near me as if you wanna kill them or-“

“Because you’re literally carrying our child inside you!” Now they had resorted to yelling, great. 

“So?! It’s not a reason to act this way, I can take care of myself, I’ve done it all those years! And I’m not jealous of this idiot from work, I don’t even bloody care. I admitted that what I did today was wrong, and I’m still sorry, but it’s no reason for you to be this mean, ESPECIALLY because you said it’s fine if I leave. Also, we could just do it on another day.” Seriously.

“You don’t get it, do you? You seriously don’t get it.” Liam seemed shocked, but at the same time also as if he’d starting crying again any second.

“What don’t I-“

“It’s not about you cancelling our plans or not asking me to come, it’s that I was stupid enough to believe that you were as excited about tonight as me, or that you would want me to come along when you play gigs or whatever! I was stupid enough to actually plan something for tonight and think you’d be happy about it, but all along it was just random plans to you we can just move. And probably not even because you care this much but because you think it’s gonna make me feel better. And I don’t want us to move this to tomorrow because I KNOW now you’re moving it out of pity, not because you really want it. It’s seriously great if you get gigs, anything, I would have been happy to come along and- but you didn’t want me to. And it’s okay. I know you keep your distance whenever we’re around our friends now. None of this is about you, it’s not your fault and you didn’t do anything wrong, I- I was just making a bloody fool of myself thinking you care as much as me. And I got myself hurt, and it’s my fault, not yours.” 

“Liam, I… I didn’t know you- that you feel this way about… “ Yeah, about what exactly?! Niall’s brain felt a little bit empty right now. “I do care about you, and I wanna spend time with you, it’s not at all out of pity, I just- I didn’t know you feel so strongly about us spending time together and… why are you so hurt all of a sudden?”

They just stared at each other, Niall blinked a few times, not knowing what to say or expect, and then Liam just said it, straight to his face, sounding a lot more upset during it than Niall would have expected somebody to be whenever they said those words to him. 

“Because I fucking _love_ you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> actually on time this time haha, i cant believe it :D
> 
> hope you enjoyed this chapter!! i wanted to write none of the things i wrote in this chapter, like none of it was planned at all, but i wanted some action and a bit of drama and for things to move on haha (i know probably all of you did too :p ). i feel like im really not writing about nialls pregnancy as much as i should, but hes only 15 weeks as of now so it seems it wouldnt influence him too much (according to my research haha), and that the problems between him and liam are more important for now! but since theyre about to talk it all out... there is space for other things soon :p
> 
> thank you for all the comments, im about to start answering them now, it seems im just stressed 24/7 nowadays :p have a great week!!! <3


	18. Chapter 18

They were just standing there, staring at each other, both in shock. Niall’s first reaction wasn’t heavy at all though, the first thing coming to his mind was to say _I love you too, but I don’t get what you mean_ , before it slowly dawned on him that Liam didn’t mean that kinda love. He meant he was in love with Niall.

“I… “ Niall started, like the idiot he was, nothing making sense anymore, so he blurted out the second thing that came to his mind. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“This is why.” Was all the older man said, and then he simply walked past Niall, back into the kitchen, while the younger man remained in place, staring at the empty stairs now, trying to figure this out.

But how? It hurt him, that he had hurt Liam so much as well, and he hadn’t even realized until the older man had told him. But even more so, he felt so terrible now for reacting the way he was, meaning, not at all, but yet he wasn’t changing anything about it. 

“Liam, why-“

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Liam cut him off immediately as Niall had turned around after another moment, somehow wanting to fix this and talk it out, but… how to talk this out?!

Also, the older man had yet again turned his back on him anyways, leaning on the counter, and Niall just stood there, not moving and not saying a word. The whole situation felt so unreal that he wasn’t even sure anymore whether it was truly happening or not. At one point, Niall simply forced himself to speak up.

“Is that why- on the beach?” There was no answer, so Niall continued. “Li, if I- if I had known and- I know it’s not- I just don’t know what to say. It’s- I wasn’t expecting it and-“

“Just say it.” The older man told him, his voice now sounding different and it gave Niall the chills.

“Say what?” He KNEW what Liam meant, but he couldn’t, wouldn’t say it, because, hell, he had no idea if it would have even been the truth. He couldn’t just say he didn’t love Liam back, because it felt like a lie. “I just… I need time to think, can I- can I please think about this?”

“Why are you asking for permission?” Right, it had been stupid, Niall just felt so out of place and still in shock. 

“Liam, I… “ He started again, but this time, truly nothing came out anymore.

There was more silence, and at some point, Niall finally stopped being selfish as he walked towards Liam. He knew the older man was crying, because he wasn’t turning around, and it felt so fucking awful, all of it, that Niall wanted to cry as well. He didn’t, he just made sure to not make it completely unexpected as he went to hug Liam from behind, feeling the older man tense up immediately. 

“Li-“

“Just- don’t.” Liam told him as he easily wound out of Niall’s grip, causing the younger man’s stomach to drop. He did finally half turn around, wiping at his face and not looking at Niall. “We should probably go to sleep, it’s late. I’ll sleep in the guest room.”

“No, wait, you can’t just-“

“I’m tired.” And with that, he started to leave, making Niall feel so upset that he almost burst into tears right then and there, feeling so stupid for it because HE had no right to feel this way at all, and yet he did.

Of course Niall followed Liam into the guest room, before he had even managed to close the door on him. Liam was kinda acting like it didn’t even phase him, and if it hadn’t been his face showing he had been crying, Niall almost would have thought it wasn’t bothering him.

“We NEED to talk about it.” Niall half demanded as he stood in the doorway, watching Liam sitting down on the bed, not looking at him. “We have to-“

“We don’t have to do anything at all. I’ve said my piece, you’ve said yours by not saying anything, and-“

“That’s not fair. You’ve not given me a chance to respond, you just- you threw it at me, out of nowhere and-“

“Not given you a _chance?!_ What about those minutes of silence just now?! Niall, seriously, just leave.” He was about to cry again, Niall could tell, but it was only making him wanna stay more. “I want to sleep.”

“You can’t sleep right now, we have to talk.” He insisted, feeling like a child picking a fight, but the truth was, Niall had no idea how to handle this situation. As okay as he usually was in conversations, he really hadn’t been prepared for something like this. 

“We just had a lot of time to talk, you didn’t say anything. Also, it’s my house.” Was all Liam said to that, before he stood up again, and before Niall could have done anything, the older man had walked into the spare bathroom, closed the door and locked it on the younger man.

Fuck.

So here they were, in the middle of the goddamn night, Liam having admitted his feelings to Niall after Niall had been treating him like shit without even realizing, and still treating him that way because he simply could not make up his bloody mind. 

It was true, he hadn’t been prepared, and maybe he should have been, should have taken that conversation in Greece more seriously, and everything Louis always said to him, but… Niall truly had not known. And now he felt so stupid for it, he wished he could have gone back in time to try and prepare himself better for this night.

Then again, how to prepare, if the true issue wasn’t what Liam had said, it was Niall’s inability to come to terms with himself, with what he wanted or didn’t want and… GOD, why was it so difficult?! Why couldn’t Niall say what was on his mind? 

The thing was, there were LOTS of things Niall wanted to say, but he couldn’t, because he wasn’t sure if he truly meant them. And saying something he didn’t truly mean seemed even worse than not saying anything at all.

Of course Niall waited for Liam to come back out of the bathroom, he just sat on the bed, alternating between staring at the door and staring at his hands, but minutes passed, and Liam never returned. He also clearly wasn’t doing anything in the bathroom at all, because it was dead quiet and the silence was almost driving the younger man crazy.

At the same time, he just started to get even sadder, and felt guiltier, and more helpless, so he couldn’t even take the time to sort out his thoughts and feelings. God damn it.

“Liam, please come back out, I’m sorry for tonight, I- I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know it’s no excuse and I know I hurt you and if I were you I wouldn’t wanna come out either, but I… I don’t know what to do or what to say and it’s… it’s not that I- that I don’t think we could- it’s not that I don’t like you… “ But then what was it? Niall suddenly didn’t even know anymore, he was just rambling, the words falling out because what else was there to say? Did Liam even hear him through the door? “I know it’s my fault, I know that I- I’m not good with this stuff. As you’ve already noticed and I- it’s killing me that I’m making you feel this way, I can’t take it back now, but if you come out and if we talk, we can figure this out, Liam. Please. We always figured everything out.”

Nothing, no sound, no answer, nothing. Even as Niall waited, initially with some hope that eventually went out of the window as well. What was he supposed to do now?

He couldn’t even get mad or anything, Liam had every right to stay in that bathroom, for as long as he pleased. Niall wouldn’t have wanted to face himself either had he been Liam right now. In fact, he also didn’t wanna face himself right now either.

Niall stayed on the bed, waiting, thinking about texting somebody for advice, but who? It was probably two in the morning by now, everyone was asleep, and maybe Liam had fallen asleep as well. Hopefully not on the cold tile floor in the bathroom, because Niall’s heart already felt ripped in two, but it would’ve definitely added even more weight onto it.

He wasn’t tired, and he wouldn’t have gone to sleep now even if he had been, so instead, he just stayed right where he was, deciding to give Liam as much time as he needed because he had already messed up way too much. There was no way he’d ever be able to make this up to Liam. No way.

\-----------------------------

Liam didn’t know how long he stayed sat on the bathroom floor, crying and then not, but it didn’t feel as much time had passed as it actually had once he took out his phone to check.

The whole night had been so awful that he wished he could have erased it from his memory. He hated himself for having gotten so into his plans for tonight, thinking Niall would enjoy it as well, that he was also excited and that it would be a nice surprise. What had he been supposed to say when Niall had decided to leave to play this gig? Forgetting or not wanting to ask Liam to even join and watch?

No idea.

Liam didn’t need an apology, because it wouldn’t have changed the fact that Niall felt how he felt. It wasn’t even his fault that Liam was hurt, especially not after what Liam had done. Admitting his bloody feelings to the younger man, in the middle of a stupid argument, only to end up even more hurt than before. Maybe ever, because Liam had never felt this way before.

Sure, when they had been in Greece, Niall hadn’t said no to the idea to them or anything, maybe that’s why Liam had gotten a bit risky. Now though, it was pretty damn obvious that Niall either had ZERO feelings for him, or simply didn’t want to be in a relationship. Honestly, Liam didn’t know what would’ve been worse, knowing they would never be, or knowing they could have been, but Niall simply didn’t want to.

Honestly, when Liam got out of the bathroom, after over an hour, he half expected Niall to have left the room, or fallen asleep. But no, he was right on the bed, waiting, with all the lights still turned on. At least Liam had calmed down by, wasn’t crying anymore, just felt numb.

Niall didn’t say anything when Liam came out, although his face did change immediately. For a moment, Liam wanted to turn back around, or go to his bedroom, but instead, he went to sit on the bed as well, on the edge. He knew they had to talk, only thing was, he really didn’t want to. He also didn’t know what to say.

“I’m so-“

“I know.” Liam didn’t wanna hear it anymore, it changed nothing. Also, Niall actually had no reason to apologize. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I did, the way I reacted, and the fact that I just left and- I was being an asshole, and I’m sorry for that. I know it’s worth nothing now, but I would have loved if you had come, I genuinely did not think about asking in that moment, I thought our plans were not a big deal and… I know I hurt you. I wish I could take all of this back.” But he couldn’t, and Liam just sighed. “And about… about what you said… “

“We don’t have to do this.” Didn’t Liam already know the answer? Either way, it wasn’t what he wanted to hear, so why did it matter? 

“I just wanted to say that I know I’m not doing a great job at communicating and that now it sounds like I just wanna make you feel better… I was never closed off to the idea of us being together, I just… I pushed it away, because I’m scared. Of the future. I enjoy what we have so much, I was afraid change would only destroy us in the end and I- I always thought I’m really influenced because I’m pregnant, but I know now that… that I would definitely not feel this way about anybody if it weren’t you. I kinda… I used it as an excuse, to myself, and… it was stupid. I know it’s stupid. And I... “ He stopped, swallowing hard. “I do have feelings for you. I couldn’t not.” 

It didn’t make Liam feel better, because he knew if it had been this simple, Niall would have just said it in the very beginning. “… but?”

“There is no but.” The younger man told him, but they were both still just sitting there with absolutely zero eye contact, probably at like, three in the morning now. Liam felt anything besides tired though.

“Okay, but then… I don’t get it. What’s the problem?” It would have been too good to be true anyways.

“I just- what if we ever break up, Liam? What about the baby? What about… what about me?” For a moment, Liam wanted to be angry, that Niall could think he would just pack up and leave, fire him and maybe even demand that their child stayed with him, but when he finally turned to look at the younger man, he knew he couldn’t be mad. His worries were pretty legit, neither of them could look into the future. “I’ve never- I was always used to doing things on my own and… you know, it’s… I’m already dependent on you now, because of my job and… I’m just… scared. I don’t ever wanna go back to living on my friends’ couch, with zero money and maybe a child and- and it’s not that I think you would ever do that, but what if we do break up? We’d have to keep seeing each other at work and-“

“Niall, I would never do that. I’m sorry if you feel you’re dependent on me, you’re not. Not at all. You’ve got your own place, your own money. You’re good at the job, I wouldn’t wanna replace you even if I didn’t like you.” Then again, Liam knew his words sounded empty, because again, he couldn’t make promises for the future. So really, there was only this one thing he could have said, and Liam wasn’t sure if he wanted to say it. “Niall… “

“Yeah?” The younger man’s face was worried when their eyes finally met for the first time in what felt like forever. It kinda hurt, but Liam tried to ignore that, he was suddenly really nervous.

“You know that… that we could always… you know, I could- I mean, not _now_ , obviously, not in the near future, just- we could bond.” Okay, right, Liam was definitely a bit ahead of himself, Niall had not even told him he loved him or anything, he had merely told Liam he had some kinda feelings for him.

Niall just blinked a few times, clearly shocked, and the older man deeply regretted what he had said. He had meant it though. “You… you think we’re soulmates?”

“I mean… we could be. Your scent really stuck out to me from the beginning and- but I shouldn’t have said that, I just thought that maybe it would make you feel calmer, that, you know, that we could… do this and then… “ They’d be tied together forever, basically. Unless they weren’t soulmates, then they would just have to live with that. It was kind of a big decision, because breaking a bond was nearly impossible, so people were more cautious with it nowadays. It used to be a very common thing for people to carelessly bond in the past, not all by choice of course, but now, Liam had barely met anyone who had done it. Harry and Louis being the only exception he had met in years. “I didn’t mean now or… any time soon. Just some day. If… if you decide that… that we could, um, give it a go. But, I know you probably… that you don’t feel the same, so-“

“You can’t know that.” Niall interrupted before looking down, taking a deep breath. “I told you I have feelings for you, Liam, have for ages now, I just… not really thought about it until Greece… and then Louis kept asking me about it and-“

“About what?” Okay, this was news to Liam, but Niall just shrugged.

“About how he says it’s obvious that me and you are- that we have feelings for each other. I didn’t wanna talk to him about it though, because I wasn’t even ready to think about it myself, so I- that’s why I started keeping my distance whenever we were around them and… yeah. And maybe, um… “ He was twisting his fingers now, nervously, and Liam wanted to reach out to stop him, but he didn’t. “Maybe I didn’t ask you to come tonight a little bit because… I didn’t want Louis to comment on it again and also… I feel a bit stupid whenever I think about how you basically pay for everything all the time and now with this director that wanted to listen to my music, I- it felt nice knowing I could get just go somewhere and play a gig without needing someone’s help, you know? Like… it was always my thing, pretty much my only hobby, and I kinda thought I was decent at it and now this guy just ignores the email and- but it’s whatever. It’s not about this, I know I’m not making any sense. Sorry.”

“You are making sense, Niall. I get it. I know you don’t wanna feel like someone’s got entire power over your life or wanting to make you feel dependent on them. I really don’t. I want you to be independent, and to keep your flat if that’s what you want. You don’t have this job out of pity, I didn’t even know you before hiring you. Zayn talked me into it but you impressed me all by yourself. And don’t worry about this director, he’s not some music god, he does films. And also, he’s really busy, so him not answering yet is really not that strange at all. You can go and play all the gigs that you want and you know that, Ni. You know you’re good, no one has to tell you that.” Liam could see Niall relaxing his shoulders a little bit, but also that his words weren’t doing all that much. 

“Thank you… you don’t have to say these things, it’s- this isn’t even about me, I don’t even know why I started this, I just- I really am sorry for how I’m handing all of this, and for hurting you and… and for basically making it look like I don’t trust you, but I do, I would literally trust you with my life, and this baby’s life and- I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He sounded very distressed now, which of course caused Liam to panic a little bit because whenever Niall seemed stressed or worried, Liam immediately had to think about how stress was bad for the baby. And also Niall himself. 

“Nothing is wrong with you, I just jumped the gun and said it, I shouldn’t have, we should’ve talked about it normally. We don’t have to do this now, and you don’t need to make a decision, it’s really late and-“

“No, don’t say that. We SHOULD talk about it now, and it’s my fault that it escalated, and if I hadn’t been so ignorant tonight then this would have not even happened. We need to talk about it.” Niall insisted on it now, but truth be told, Liam had no idea what to even talk about.

“Okay, we can talk about it now, if you want, I don’t wanna force you into it though. And I… I also don’t really know what to say anymore.” What else was there to say, other than that Liam loved Niall? 

The younger man was quiet for a little bit, maybe also realizing that actually, there was nothing to discuss anymore. It was all out. “Did you… did you mean it?”

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t.” Especially not during a fight, like, Liam almost wanted to laugh a little bit, not because it was so funny but because this situation was just really bizarre. 

“Okay.” That was literally all Niall said, just _okay_ , and for a moment, Liam thought he was taking the piss out of him, but he really didn’t get very far thinking about this.

They hadn’t touched for hours, ever since Niall had left with Louis, so Liam hadn’t really expected it at all right now when the younger man suddenly moved forward, not even letting him take a breath before kissing him.

Liam was more than confused about this reaction, because one, he had thought they were gonna talk about god knows what, and two, Niall was so eager as if he was desperate to put his all into this one kiss right now, as if he had been waiting to do it forever. Maybe he had, Liam didn’t know, all he knew was that he did kiss back, but when the younger man started to straddle his lap, the older man eventually stopped him.

“Wait.” Liam told him, a little bit out of breath, allowing Niall to kiss him one more time because he seemed to be so eager. “What are you doing? I thought you wanted to talk.”

“I changed my mind.” Niall answered, and before Liam could get upset because what was even going on, the younger man added something else. “I- I want this. I want us. We’re already acting like we’re together, and everyone’s been commenting on it, and you said you really meant it, so-“

“It’s not just about what I want, Niall. If you don’t feel this way then you have to say it. It didn’t seem like you were so thrilled when I told you.” In fact, not even the slightest bit.

“I was shocked, I’ve never actually thought you’d ever say that to me… and with everything going on tonight… “ They were so close that their breath was brushing, and Niall could easily let his forehead knock against Liam’s. “But I want it. I wanna be with you, I- I’ve wanted it for a while, there was just never a need to really think about it because we’re already doing all these things and acting this way and- I love you.”

“Don’t just say it because you think I wanna hear it, just because I said-“

“No, I mean it, Liam. I do. I swear. It’s just taken me ages to actually admit it to myself and I’m sorry I’m always this difficult. I couldn’t imagine being with anybody else, or having this baby with anybody else. I know all of it was kind of an accident and completely by chance, but maybe it wasn’t. Maybe you’re right, I’ve always noticed your scent a lot more than anyone’s I’ve ever met as well. We’ve grown close so quickly and… it doesn’t feel so random that it happened. I trust you, 100%. I’m sorry for the things I said before, I’m sorry for this whole night. I wanna spend time with you, I always do. I just didn’t consider it was such a big deal to you, because I didn’t think you could really like me so much, I guess. I never saw us as just friends, or fuck buddies, we were always kinda a special category in my head that I didn’t wanna label. But... we can. Because I want it. And we can figure this out.” Niall said it all very sincerely, and Liam had to admit that he had worries, that he had influenced the younger man maybe, that maybe this was not what he truly wanted, but at the same time… man, it felt bloody amazing to hear him say it out loud.

“Are you sure?” Liam asked, because he felt the need to, but the younger man pulled back just to roll his eyes at him, so there was Liam’s answer.

When they kissed again, Liam let himself fall back on the bed, pulling Niall on top of him as they made out, and he felt himself smiling into the kiss. Maybe it hadn’t been such a stupid idea after all, maybe Liam should have just blurted out with it much, much sooner. 

He knew it would take same time though, for them to get adjusted to this even though probably not much would change in their behavior, but in their heads mostly. Liam did need a bit convincing though, because even though right now he was feeling bloody amazing after all this chaos, he really wanted, and needed, to see Niall wanting this relationship moving forward to fully trust that he meant it. He was also a little bit afraid he would always be the one loving Niall more than the other way around.

\--------------------------------------

Niall had to admit that when he woke up the next day in Liam’s arms, the both of them still in the guest room because that’s where they had stayed after making out for another hour, it took him a few moments to actually remember what had happened last night. When he did remember, the guilt hit him again out of nowhere, especially while staring at Liam’s peaceful face, illuminated only because they had never shut the blinds in here.

The younger man spent quite some time staring at Liam, because he was usually never the one to wake up first, so he had to make use of this time. To know that Liam loved him was making Niall feel all warm inside, as if he could have done absolutely anything at all in this life and succeeded. Truth be told, Niall had never been in a serious relationship, not one like this anyways. Yeah, he had slept with a bunch of people of course, but for different reasons.

He didn’t have a lot of people in his life that he knew he could count on, for a long time it had really just been Harry and Louis. So maybe that was another reason why Niall had pushed away the thought of him and Liam dating, or finding excuses in his head as to why the older man would surely dump him one day anyways. After all, Niall couldn’t know.

Now though, none of these thoughts were left in his mind as he was staring at Liam, only lightly touching his skin as he was stroking his face. Niall still felt bad for behaving the way he had and hurting Liam, and he was aware that maybe Liam didn’t really think that he was being serious about all of this.

Maybe Niall hadn’t been at first, because he had been worried about the future, but the moment he had told Liam last night, it had all made sense all of a sudden, all those pieces in his head had finally fit together. And now Niall was determined to make Liam see that this what he wanted as well, that he could have never wanted anything, or anybody, else. Even if he hadn’t known it himself a day ago.

\---------------------------------

“Alright… everything seems to be just fine. Do you have any concerns? Is anything going on?” The doctor was finishing up the ultrasound, both Niall and Liam having been very surprised by how big the changes had been. Then again, Niall’s belly kept growing and he was 16 weeks, so really, they should have definitely expected it.

“I’m doing good, thank you. Can we-“

“The pictures? Yeah, I got them.” They always wanted the pictures so the doctor just smiled, but who didn’t want the pictures?! “Alright, here you go. Just call if anything’s going on, if you’ve got any worries. Anything.”

“Thank you, I will. I mean, I hope I won’t have to.” Niall let out a laugh, and Liam just watched him fondly as he wiped the gel off his skin before sitting up to take the pictures from the third man. 

Today was Monday, and they had spent pretty much all of Sunday in bed being lazy, but also because they had not been able to separate. Of course, after what had happened Saturday night, things were suddenly different, but not so different that there would have been a real change in how they behaved around each other.

Liam could just always feel it, whenever he looked at Niall, touched him in any way, he always had to think about it. And when the younger man had told him yesterday, again, that he loved him before going to sleep, it had almost caused Liam’s heart to burst. It was like, he had kept this secret for so long and it felt like all this weight had immediately fallen off of him somehow, and he could finally breathe again. Metaphorically.

He was still slightly worried, but pretty much with every moment passing, he became more confident also that Niall had meant it all. That he hadn’t just said it to save the night and make Liam feel better. So now Liam’s main worry was the fact that he knew that the younger man was afraid he’d get up and leave him one day with nothing left. Not the greatest feeling to have about your… boyfriend?

“It really looks like the baby is smiling, right?! I can’t believe it.” Niall was so excited staring at the pictures when they walked out of the doctor’s office that he almost ran into the wall, had Liam not quickly pulled him in by his hand. “Oops, thanks. But look.”

“I know, Nialler, I can’t believe it either. See, it’s a good thing we come here way more often than we have to.” Honestly, the doctor didn’t seem to mind at all though, and Liam knew him pretty well of course, so that was a bonus. Took a lot of anxiety off of him as well. 

“You’re right, I was a bit annoyed at first, but… I just can’t believe these pictures.” He was so happy with them that Liam was just smiling looking at him, squeezing his hand. “Maybe we should ask him to tell us the gender after all.”

“We can go back in and a-“

“No, no, not today. I mean, just maybe… you know, we have to think of names. I don’t wanna end like Harry and Louis, they still say they have no idea, I just texted Louis this morning at work.” Niall was still talking as they got into the car, and just for a moment, Liam didn’t catch on.  
“So you didn’t actually answer emails all morning like you said?” It was kinda a joke, but Liam pretended to be serious although Niall just laughed it off anyways, he knew him too well.

“I just- I had to tell him the news.” Wait..

“What news?” Okay, was Liam just stupid, or… ?

“That he was right.” Niall simply told him, as if it was nothing, though it was clear to see he also at the same time realized that it was actually a big deal once Liam finally got it.

“You told him… about us?” Now THAT was unexpected.

“Not directly, I just told him he was right about how much I like you and then I just never texted him back because I realized I should have asked you before going about telling people.” Niall rolled his head around on the back of the seat to look at Liam, who was still a bit in shock. “Sorry if I went too f-“

“No, no, you didn’t, you- I mean, you didn’t actually tell him anything anyways, but… if you did, it’s okay. You can tell them, I mean, you probably should. _We_ probably should… if… if you want that.” Now Liam’s heart was beating really fast again, because truth be told, he wouldn’t have expected Niall wanting to go and tell people this quickly after saying he hadn’t wanted to talk to Louis about it. 

“I want to. If you do, too.” He was smiling as Liam nodded before sitting up more straight so he could lean over and kiss the older man on the lips. “What are we gonna say though? I mean… how do you say something like that?”

“That we’re together?” Liam asked, suddenly amused as he rubbed his hand over Niall’s side, the younger man still keeping his hands loosely around him, stretching across the seats. Saying it out loud gave Liam the chills.

“Yeah, I never had to do that, sooo… or I’ll just text Louis now and start calling you my boyfriend.” Okay, NOW Liam got real chills, before had just been a warm up.

“You can tell him whatever you want.” Liam promised quickly, way too excited about this.

“Okay.” The younger man grinned, probably knowing just how much Liam was enjoying this as he kissed him again before leaning back. “By the way, we can’t go home just yet.”

“Why? Do you have to be somewhere?” Liam was confused, still thinking about their conversation just now but also Niall’s touch and- well, his attention span was limited. 

“You and I both do.” Niall told him, all mysteriously, but it made Liam think he had forgotten something for a moment until the younger man grinned. “Just go in the directions I’m telling you, okay? It’s a surprise.”

“Is this about Saturday? Because we agreed yesterday that we wouldn’t talk about it anym-“

“No, it’s not. It’s something completely different that I wanted to do, okay? Just drive.” Niall was pretending to be all bossy now, clearly not wanting Liam to question this, so the older man decided not to and just do what he had been told.

Truth was, the two of them just staying in bed most of the day yesterday, neither of them ever getting on their phones or taking attention off of each other, had been way better than what their Saturday plans had been anyways. And yeah, Liam had gotten really hurt and upset, but if it hadn’t happened… he might have never had the balls to actually tell Niall the truth. And then they surely wouldn’t be here right now doing this either.

Niall’s wasn’t good at giving directions, but Liam had already known that. It was because he didn’t drive himself that he always underestimated the time Liam needed to change the lanes, so he always said it way too late. They did get there in the end, although, Liam wasn’t quite sure where _there_ actually was, because it was literally just a parking lot. 

“I mean… not gonna lie, I could’ve picked nicer places for a date.” He joked while Niall was suddenly moving as if he was going to get out of the car. “What are you doing?”

“You have to stay in the car, I’ll be right back. And you can’t look when I’m coming back, okay? This is just a stop on the way. And who even said this was a date?” He huffed a bit while Liam laughed, starting to get excited. “Promise you won’t look?”

“I promise.” Liam told him easily, a bit worried though when Niall left the car, leaving him all to himself for at least 10 minutes.

Liam was both excited and nervous at the same time, like, he didn’t quite know what to do with himself right now, so he kept looking at the ultrasound pictures in the meantime. At least this way, he wouldn’t accidentally look up once the younger man came back from wherever.

It seemed like a miracle now, that everything was suddenly working out, that they actually loved each other and would be parents to this baby. Almost too good to be true, honestly, but Liam of course knew that his worries were just there because it was all so fresh and new still. Probably would be for quite a while because he still couldn’t believe that Niall actually wanted to be in a relationship with him. Not that he had really given Liam much reason to think so other than on Saturday. 

If Niall had only known just how fucking much Liam loved and adored him, he might have been taken aback by it.

The younger man returned out of nowhere after some time, making Liam think someone was trying to rob him when he simply opened the trunk before getting back into the passenger seat. “Okay, done, we can keep going.”

Just for him, Liam pretended he couldn’t actually smell the pizza from the trunk as he started the engine again. So it really was a date and Liam was more excited than he should have been, especially because he also starting to get hungry because they had gone to the doctor’s straight from work and would have probably ordered food in yet again. Not that Liam would have minded.

Niall continued to give horrible directions, at some point actually having to check his phone because he seemed to have forgotten where they were going as well, and Liam was biting back a laugh just because he didn’t wanna make the younger man feel bad. He had clearly put some thought into this, looking up some place where they could have gone to and Liam had no idea when he had actually done it.

“Do you know where we are?” The younger man asked after making Liam take some very shady looking side ride.

“No idea.” Liam answered truthfully, which seemingly gave Niall a lot of satisfaction.

“Good, because it’s supposed to be a surprise. I googled this for hours at work today.” He admitted, making Liam laugh.

“Okay, did you actually do any work at all today? You also texted Louis and-“

“I got enough done. I mean, you didn’t notice, did you?” Fair enough.

Liam followed the road for a bit longer, and he started to worry whether it was really leading to where Niall thought it was, but then finally, the trees on the side of the road started to get a bit less, and they finally got to a sort of natural parking lot. With actually no cars in it.

Because they had been driving uphill most of the time, Liam had already suspected they’d have a view, but he was honestly impressed by how good it was. It wasn’t faced towards the city, but rather the countryside, and there was just a few trees, fields and the blue sky that hopefully wouldn’t turn dark for another two hours or so.

“Where are we?” Liam was kinda impressed, they hadn’t driven THAT far away from the city.

“Apparently this is a tourist spot. Pretty cool, right? I didn’t know about it either.” Niall seemed to be super excited now, and just this would have been enough for Liam. “But I’ve got more surprises, c’mon.”

The younger man got out of the car immediately and Liam followed, of course knowing about the pizza already when the younger man opened the trunk, but he was very surprised to see more things in there. 

“When did you put all this in here?” Seriously, now Liam was truly stunned. Niall had packed his guitar, a blanket, and what looked like some dessert as well. Although, he had probably picked that up from the same place he had gotten the pizza from just now.

“Last night while you were sleeping. I was really scared I’d wake you up, I almost made the alarm go off when I went into the garage.” He shrugged, grinning at Liam. “Can you give me a hand?”

“Of course.” Liam immediately moved, making sure to carry pretty much everything except for Niall’s guitar. He WAS doing this because of Saturday, obviously, but Liam was enjoying it too much to comment on it again. After all, he wanted to spend time with Niall too, go on dates or whatever they would call this now. It seemed Niall had really put a lot of thought into this and that he was just as excited, so why would Liam have questioned it? “Where are we going?”

“Over there, to the grass, I think the view is a lot better there. At least on google images.” Niall laughed a bit and Liam just found himself smiling as he followed. “I really can’t believe I’ve never been here before.”

“Me neither.” Or maybe Liam could, he had spent most of his twenties indoors in an office after all.

They found a nice place in the grass, next to a tree, and honestly, once they had spread the blanket and everything, it was already a lot better than Liam could have even planned it for Saturday anyways. Plus, now he got to enjoy this without this worry on his shoulders, about whether Niall thought of it as a date, whether he would have ever even wanted to go on one with Liam in the first place.

“It’s a different pizza than we normally get, but I got everything on it that you like.” The younger man promised after they had sat down and he had peaked inside the cartons to check which one was which. It kinda pained Liam that Niall had paid for his food, but he knew better than to complain today. “Here.”

“Thank you so much, Nialler. Also for planning this.” Seriously, Liam truly hadn’t been expecting it at all.

“It’s okay, don’t thank me, I really wanted to do this too. We should do things like that more often, we’re inside way too much.” Probably true, but hearing Niall say it almost made Liam laugh. “Look at your pizza.”

“Okay, one second.” Liam had no idea what for Niall was so excited about this pizza, and of course it took him a bit longer than normally to open the carton, but when he did, he was a little bit surprised. In a really good way. “I- did you tell them to do that?”

“’course. D’you think they just did that for fun? Maybe because I’m so handsome.” The younger man joked, and Liam laughed for a just a moment, his entire body feeling all warm suddenly. Niall had really made them bake that pizza into a heart. “I hope they didn’t make it smaller just to form it.”

“Even if they did, it doesn’t matter. Thank you, Ni.” Liam truly meant it, and Niall’s smile was so big that Liam felt even happier, not only because of all of this but also because the younger man seemed to be so pleased with his own ideas.

He would have leaned across to kiss Niall, but the position they were in was kinda not the best right now, plus, Niall seemed way too eager to eat already, so Liam saved it for later. It was a really warm day, hot almost, even though it was in the evening, and there was the occasional bee Niall freaked out over while they were eating, but it only made them laugh in the end.

Niall had also gotten some cake, according to him sadly not the best one they had had because he had been afraid it would melt. Before he opened the box though, he suddenly pulled the ultrasound pictures from the back of his jeans pockets, propping them up against the now empty pizza cartons.

“Now it’s like, a family picnic.” He laughed, leaning back against the tree where he was sitting, next to Liam now without this ridiculous amount of distance between them.

Niall had clearly just been joking, but it almost caused Liam’s throat to get a bit tight. “You’re so cute, you know that?”

“I know.” The younger man laughed, but his cheeks had gotten pink rather quickly as he moved to get the dessert instead. “We’re gonna share, right? I only got one because I knew you’d try to refuse it altogether otherwise.”

“I wouldn’t dare refuse you anything today.” Liam told him truthfully.

“Shoot, I should have gotten two then.” Niall joked, a bright smile on his face as he moved closer towards Liam, until their thighs were brushing. “They only gave me one fork. I think they thought it’s a first date and I need some kinda excuse to make a move.”

“Very considerate, sounds like a great place.” Liam meant it, quickly having to shut up though when Niall insisted he needed to feed him the first piece of cake.

So they ate that, and then Niall got out his guitar to play a few things for Liam, the older man aware that he was probably trying to make up for not having asked him to come along on Saturday. He enjoyed private concerts a lot more anyways, even more so when Niall ended up with his head in his lap afterwards, and the only sounds they could hear were some insects chirping, the sun about to start setting but it was still completely light out.

“You know… “ Niall started, having closed his eyes because the sun was shining directly into his face and Liam was just looking down at him, running his fingers through his hair. “I never actually thought I’d have a real relationship. It felt like… like something only everyone else gets.”

“Why not?” Although, Liam had to admit, he kinda hadn’t thought he’d ever have one either. Actually… until Saturday night. Then again, he had also not even wanted a family before meeting Niall.

“I don’t know. No one ever liked me like that, I never liked anyone like that either… and I was always used to being on my own, so I wasn’t really missing anything, and I actually always thought I’d make a terrible boyfriend, but… ever since we met and everything, you’ve always been so sweet to me and it’s really nice knowing that someone cares about me. I know Louis and Harry do, but it’s different… especially now. I never had a family anymore after I moved out and everything changed so quickly and we’re really about to be one. And… I know your family isn’t great either, so… it’s really nice that we found each other, right?” The way he said it, as if he wasn’t sure if Liam felt the same way right now, made Liam’s throat a bit tight. “Like, not just for that of course, but that only kinda makes me think that it wasn’t a random coincidence.”

“It’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” Liam promised, because it was true, and he leaned down for a moment to kiss Niall’s forehead. “ _You_ are the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

“Don’t be so cheesy… “ Niall mumbled and Liam laughed, petting his chest lightly. 

“You started it.” It was true, and Liam was really happy that he had. “Speaking of family though… we need to think of names, it’s stressing me out.”

“Me too, but I can’t think of anything… I also feel like I can’t wear your clothes for very much longer without stretching them out… also, where is the baby even gonna sleep? In the guest room? We need to really look into these things.” It was true, they really, really had to, but it seemed like so many things were always coming up that needed attention first. “I’m scared about failing. As a parent, I mean.”

“Why would you? You’re amazing with Harry and Louis’ kids.” Liam had told Niall that many, many times before, but it never seemed to ease his worries.

“It’s just… my parents aren’t the kinda parents I wanna be like, ever. But it’s all I know. What if this baby also runs away from us as soon as possible? I’m terrified of that.” Niall was still keeping his eyes closed, and Liam had gone back to evenly brushing his fingers through his hair, trying to calm him.

“That’s exactly why we won’t be like that, okay? Because we know how much it sucks to have parents like that. We’ll do our best, that’s all anyone can do, really. And as long as we love this baby unconditionally, I don’t think we can mess this up.” At least Liam was hoping that. “But I’m scared too… “

“I think that’s normal. It’d be weird if weren’t, right? And I also want two kids at least, we never talked about that.” Well… they had also never really planned to have just a single child together because they hadn’t been together, but now that Niall way saying it…

“Me too.” Liam told him immediately, because there truly wasn’t a single doubt left in his mind right now. “We’ll need a bigger house though if you’re planning on having even more.”

“It’s not just me planning alone, Liam.” Niall laughed. “Also, your house is _massive_ , our kids don’t need to grow up so spoiled. Promise me we won’t become crazy people who get the kids 50 presents each for Christmas?”

“I promise… but then again-“

“No, Liam, please, I don’t want them to be spoiled. Also, the 50 presents was an exaggeration, you wouldn’t really do that, would you?” Well….

“I’ll just buy them for you then.” Liam decided, kinda not even joking. He loved buying Niall stuff, anything at all. 

“I won’t accept them.” The younger man sounded very firm on that and Liam laughed. “Also, who knows, we might have so many kids, we won’t be able to fit that many things anyway.”

“What exactly are you planning, Nialler?” Seriously, it seemed that all of a sudden, the younger man’s fantasy was truly running wild with their future, but Liam absolutely loved it.

“Nothing, I was just thinking about it all, like… imagine us having kids, and maybe one day grandchildren, maybe not, whatever they want, but… damn, I can really see us being super old and you still working out in your gym downstairs and refusing all the cakes I’m baking.” Wait…

“When in this narrative did you learn how to bake?” Now Liam had to truly laugh, but his entire body was just filled with love for this man.

“Some day, Liam. I don’t know. I was actually thinking we should learn how to cook before the baby is here, we can’t expect this child to not be spoiled meanwhile we order breakfast, lunch and dinner online and eat out of the containers so we won’t have to do the dishes.” That was kinda their life, he was right. 

“It saves a lot of time.” Liam argued, but he had to agree anyways.

“Yeah, but cooking can’t be that hard, right? Surely there’s like… tons of tutorials on Youtube. We should really do that, and also- oh.” He broke off all of a sudden, his hands flying to his stomach, which of course made Liam panic for a second.

“What? What happened?” He asked, not getting an answer immediately, which almost felt like a second too long. “Ni-“

“Nothing, it was just a flutter. The baby moved. It’s crazy, I never felt that before. I can’t feel it from outside yet, but… “ Niall grabbed a hold of Liam’s hand anyways to put it on his stomach as well, keeping it there. “I know the doctor said it can hear us and stuff… must be because we’re talking about it… I kinda hate calling it an _it_.”

“We _can_ ask for the gender.” Liam reminded him, still more focused on where his hand was. He couldn’t feel any movements, but it was still nice to have his hand there, Niall’s on top of his. “I don’t necessarily need to know, but… “

“Me neither. I was just saying… maybe I should talk to my belly more. Maybe we both should. And play Mozart to it or something.” He was laughing at the idea and Liam smiled, leaning down to kiss Niall on the lips. It was clearly taking him by surprise because his eyes had been closed, but he kissed back immediately, his free hand cupping the back of Liam’s had to keep him there, even as he whispered against his mouth. “I love you, Liam.” 

“I love you too, babe… “

And so much more every day than Niall would have ever known.

\----------------------

The following three weeks were probably Niall’s favorite of his entire pregnancy so far. Even though it also came with more discomfort, and his belly growing, and his mood changing quite quickly at times. Plus, he was constantly hungry and it was kind of a problem, but not really because Liam was just so good at handling it all.

Absolutely no one was surprised when they told them they were together and Niall kinda wondered why he had even bothered telling them if they claimed they had already known anyways. They did do SOME planning of the baby’s room, and one day, after Niall had spent some time with Harry, he came home to Liam having gone a little bit crazy with online shopping. To be fair, he hadn’t just bought things without consulting Niall first, they had looked at things before, just never bought anything. 

With Niall being 19 weeks though, the younger man definitely was starting to feel the pressure a little bit. Having Liam by his side though cured almost anything and everything. It made more sense that they were together than anything else in this entire world, and he had no idea how it had taken him so long to realize that.

Liam was absolutely everything Niall, or anybody, could have wanted in a boyfriend, and Niall did feel like he was being a bit too whiny sometimes, and Liam had to deal with too much, but whenever he apologized to Liam and tried to make it up to him, the older man simply brushed it off. Niall still felt guilty for what had happened, he was trying to make it up to Liam still, somehow, prove to him that he loved him, so freaking much. He was just hoping that the older man knew by now that he had meant it, 100%, and still was of course whenever he said it.

“I really don’t think my back should already be hurting.” Niall was a little concerned, but he also enjoyed Liam giving him a back massage way too much as to really complain. “I mean, my feet hurt too, but that’s different.”

“Maybe you should put them up.” Liam suggested, while still kneading his fingers into the younger man’s back. It wasn’t too late, like, 7 or something, but they were just at home, watching TV. 

“No, it’s fine, I really don’t wanna move right now, you’re so bloody good at this.” Niall half moaned, playing it up a bit, and Liam just laughed at him. “My nipples hurt too.”

“Okay, should I just massage your entire body?” The older man suggested, and now that he was saying it…

“I mean, I wouldn’t say no, I- right there!” It felt really good when Liam was hitting just the right spots, and yeah, it was kind of really fucking hot and Niall had definitely gotten hard a time or twenty during it.

Before he could really get into it though, Liam’s phone was suddenly going off on the coffee table.

“God, just ignore it.” Niall whined, but then he threw a glance at the display anyways. “I swear, if it’s that guy from work asking you again if I’m pregnant, I might- wait, why is Louis calling _you?!_ ”

“I don’t know… “ Liam seemed confused as well, he let go of Niall to reach for his phone and the younger man was already tense before Liam had even answered. “Hi, wh-… oh my god, I-… yes, of course, just- where are you?... yeah, we’re home we- yeah- see you in a second.”

The phone call was super short, but Liam’s face had undergone so many changes and his voice had been so shocked that Niall panicked. “What’s going on? Did something happen to them?! Is it Harry?”

“Harry fell at home, he slipped on some toy and they called an ambulance and- Louis is bringing the girls over right now so he can go and be with him, he’s already in the car. I don’t know what’s going on either.” Oh god.

“Oh my god… what if something happened to the baby? He’s 35 weeks… “ Niall had turned around on the couch, his hands immediately on his own stomach, as if he could somehow protect his own baby from something happening as well.

“Ni, he’s going to be fine. They just wanna make sure.” Well, Liam had certainly NOT sounded calm at all on the phone. “Try and breathe, slowly. He will be fine. And the baby too.”

“You can’t know that Liam, I… shit, now I’m crying and- the girls, we can’t freak them out.” The only one who’d freak them out was Niall himself.

“We won’t, it will be okay. Everything will be okay. C’mere.” Liam moved closer, pulling Niall into his arms and holding him tightly, lips pressing a kiss wherever he could reach. 

It helped a bit, as much as it always did whenever Liam was calming him down during one of Niall’s many breakdowns, but he only just about managed to wipe his tears in time and let Liam kiss him softly for when Louis arrived.

They both went out to go and collect the girls, Louis barely saying hi before, lifting a crying Clara out of her car seat and handing her straight over to Liam. “Daddy, I-I w-wanna s-stay with y-you!”

“I know, baby, I know. I’m so sorry, okay? But you’re a big girl, and you have your sister, and uncle Niall and uncle Liam, and it will only be for a little bit, okay?” He kissed her cheek hastily, and then Josie’s, who just looked confused if anything. “Thank you so much guys, I’ll call as soon as I know anything.”

“It’s no trouble, but- I don’t think you should be driving in this condition, Lou, Liam can-“

“There’s no time.” Louis cut Niall off immediately as he already got back into the car, the whole situation passing by so quickly that Niall barely had time to think. “I’ll call. I love you so much girls, don’t worry, okay? Everything will be okay.”

The girls just seemed very confused, they were both already in their pajamas, Clara was still crying, now into Liam’s shirt, and Niall made sure to grab a hold of Josie’s hand to pull her away from the car. Not that Louis had almost run her over or anything, but Niall was simply afraid that she would somehow get hurt. And they really couldn’t have needed that right now.

For a moment, all Niall could think was that so much about not freaking the girls out, but also how irresponsible it had been for them to let Louis drive right now. His thoughts got interrupted very quickly though when Josie let go of his hand to hug him.

“Is daddy going to d-die?” She was now also crying, and of course that only made Clara cry even more as well, and Niall wanted to cry with them, so he just threw a helpless look at Liam.

“Your dad will be fine, okay? Everything is okay. They’re just making sure he didn’t hurt himself, no one will die. C’mon, let’s go inside.” His eyes were on Niall a bit longer before he started walking towards the house with Clara in his arms, and Niall somehow managed to pry open Josie’s arms from around him to follow them.

“Who lives h-here?” Josie whispered to Niall on their way to the house, and Niall only now realized that these girls had no idea that he was even pregnant. They hadn’t seen him a lot lately and he usually didn’t wear any revealing clothes, and though they did know that Niall and Liam were together, Niall wasn’t sure if they grasped the full concept of it. “I w-wanna go h-home… “

“Liam lives here, it’ll be okay, yeah? I’m here, and Liam’s here. And your sister. And as soon as your dad knows more, he’s gonna call, okay? You don’t have to be scared.” Except, Niall was also scared shitless.

Once inside, Liam was luckily the one who took charge, he took off Clara’s shoes and then he went to try and wipe her face a bit, maker her stop crying. He didn’t really succeed too much, but as a result, she just kept clinging to him and under normal circumstances, Niall would have found this adorable. 

“W-When i-is d-daddy c-coming b-back?” She kept asking Liam, with hiccups in between, and it was tearing on every single one of Niall’s heart strings, even more so because Josie started crying along with her again as well, almost squishing his hand.

“As soon as he can, love. I promise. He’s just going to check on your dad, okay?” Liam tried to explain, clearly not knowing what else to say, but Niall didn’t either. 

Liam ended up making the girls hot chocolate, and Clara was helping him with snot an tears running down her face while Niall took Josie to sit on the couch with him, making sure to quickly switch off the TV before it caught her attention.

Niall was so tense and panicked that he could barely concentrate on calming her down, and it seriously was not his fault that his eyes immediately went to his phone when it started vibrating, and so did Josie’s, both of them thinking it was Louis. But no.

Niall’s mother calling was truly the very last thing he had needed in his life right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys :D 
> 
> for once im on time yay! a bit earlier than usually because i have 2 exams in literally 10 hours, truly hopt it doesnt show in the chapter and that you enjoyed it :) we are finally moving past the stage of niall & liam solving their relationships issues to new issue :p
> 
> after tomorrow i will finally only have 1 exam left and hopefully more time to focus on this fic so i wont be rushing every sunday and monday to finish rip. i hope youll have a good week & thank you so much for sticking around and all your comments <3


	19. Chapter 19

“Your mommy is calling.“ Josie told Niall while the man was still in trance staring at the display, before impulsively pressing _decline_. “Why are you not answering?”

“I’m gonna call her back later.” Niall told her quickly, sharing an awkward look with Liam across the room, the older man’s facial expression having gotten worried, but luckily in this case, he quickly had to focus on a still crying Clara a moment later. “Are you hungry? Do you wanna talk about anything? We can play a game, we can also draw something, or watch a movie or-“

“Is the baby gonna die?” Josie asked, with the biggest and saddest puppy eyes ever. 

“No, of course not, love. No one is gonna die, okay? The doctors are just making sure your daddy and the baby are alright. And even if there was something wrong, they can fix it, right? They’re doctors, that’s what they’re for.” And hopefully they WOULD be able to fix it, because if not, then not only would Niall have lied, he’d also most likely have a meltdown himself and then Liam would be left having to console all three of them. “You don’t have to be scared, Josie. Me and Liam are here, okay? And your dad is gonna call as soon as he knows something, he’s probably still in the car and things always take a while at the hospital, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong.”

“Okay… do we have to sleep here?” Josie then continued, and before Niall could have said something to that, Clara’s crying got a lot worse in the back upon having heard the question.

“I d-don’t w-wanna, I w-wanna g-go h-home to m-my d-daddy!” Liam was carrying her over while she was crying into his shoulder, only being able to carry one cup of hot chocolate at once. After handing it to Josie, he had to go back with Clara because she refused to let go of him and all he could really do was rub her back.

“Clara, it’s gonna be fine. Daddy will call soon.” Josie tried to calm her sister once Liam had come back with her, putting the cup on the coffee table as he sat down with her in the arm chair instead, so that she was on his lap now, keeping her face hidden in his clothes. “Uncle Niall and Liam are here and-“

“N-No! I w-want d-daddy!” Now she was half screaming, and Niall was really worried, but it seemed that Liam was a lot more relaxed than him in this situation, so thankfully he was the one holding her and rocking her a bit.

Josie threw something like an apologetic look at Liam that almost made Niall laugh, but the situation truly wasn’t amusing in the slightest bit. And now he also had to think about how his mother had called and what the hell did she want from him now? Hopefully she wouldn’t call back, she was used to Niall ignoring her after all, surely she’d wait a few days to try again, right?

While Clara was crying in Liam’s arms, Josie tried the hot chocolate, seemingly having calmed down a bit, so that was something. She asked them a lot of questions about hospitals and having babies, and not all of it was comfortable to answer, but Niall knew that Louis and Harry had told her enough. And this conversation was still a ton better than having both of the girls crying.

“… are you and Liam gonna have a baby too?” When she asked Niall this question, it took him by surprise, because the girls didn’t know, and he also hadn’t thought that they even really knew that they were dating or what that even meant. Well, Clara probably didn’t, but Josie looked very confident in her question.

“I, um… “ Niall started, clearing his throat, wishing Liam could have jumped in, but she was looking at him and the question had also been directed towards him. “Umm, yes. We are.”

“Really?! When?” Now Josie almost seemed excited, which wasn’t a bad thing, right?

“In a few months… “ Niall told her carefully, not really sure what else to say about that. “How did you- why are you asking?”

“I heard my daddies talk about it in the car a few days ago, they thought I was asleep in the back.” She shrugged, as if it had been obvious, her eyes still sparkling though. “Do you know if it’s gonna be a boy or a girl?”

“We don’t know yet.” Niall told her, looking at Liam, who had most of his attention on Clara, because it seemed she had tired herself out from all the crying and had finally sat back, allowing him to wipe her face with a tissue while she still had a few hiccups in between. “We’ve been thinking about names for boys and girls, so if you have any suggestions… “

“Oh! I do! My daddies asked me that too, but I don’t think they will name the baby that, but I’m super good with names! And Clara too. Right?” Josie was all excited now, looking at her sister who just nodded, sniffing a bit before letting herself fall into Liam again.

God, he was so fucking cute holding her, Niall could have squealed, but he didn’t, his attention was clearly needed elsewhere right now. “Well, we’re open to every idea, really… just not the same you gave your daddies, or the babies are gonna end up being called the same.”

“That would be so funny.” Josie laughed, and Niall made sure to keep her spirit going by getting her a pen and a paper so she could write the names down. It was good for her to practice writing anyways, and it was also a good distraction for them.

The little girl spent quite a while writing down names and discussing them with Niall and Liam and after a while, Clara had calmed down enough to drink her hot chocolate as well, but she absolutely refused to get off of Liam’s lap, and stuck to sometimes throwing in name suggestions as well that seemed to mostly stem from kid shows.

At least an hour or so passed and though Niall was relieved that things were somewhat calm right now, he was also getting increasingly worried. Plus, the girls weren’t supposed to stay up so late and they couldn’t have taken them to bed without having found out what was wrong with Harry and the baby. Maybe the fact that it was taking so long was a bad sign… what if it was? What was Niall going to do?!

They had moved on from the names to drawing when Liam very discretely got his phone out of his pocket, making eye contact with Niall, so the younger man quickly excused himself to the bathroom, making sure to subtly take Liam’s phone with him.

He almost missed Louis’ call because he took so long to get out of the room and close the door in the downstairs bathroom, his heart bumping faster than ever.

“What’s going on?” Niall asked immediately, mentally preparing himself to hear the very worst. Even though he had no idea how he would have even prepared himself for that.

“Niall? Is that-“

“Yeah, it’s me, why are you calling Liam and not me?” A stupid question in this moment, but it simply slipped out. “How is Harry? And the baby? What’s going on, Lou? Please tell me.”

“They’re both okay.” Oh, thank fucking god. “I called Liam because it’s his house. And now I just thought since I already talked to him before- anyways, how are the girls? I’m sorry I dropped them off out of nowhere and then just drove away, I- I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t think I was.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry, I would have acted the exact same way.” Well, maybe not, seeing as HE was pregnant, and not Liam. “So you can go home? And-“

“No, we can’t, um… they’re okay, but… “ Louis then took a deep breath. “He’s gonna have the baby tonight, so we’re going to stay.”

“Wait, what?! But isn’t it way too soon, isn’t he-“

“They said it’s going to be fine, the baby is healthy and… everything will be okay. We might just have to stay a bit longer in the hospital… “ He sounded both excited but also worried, and Niall really got it. There was no way of knowing if things would really be okay in the end, especially because the baby was coming so unexpected, weeks earlier than planned.

“The girls can stay with us, it’s no problem at all. I can stay home from work and look after them.” They were on summer break from school, so at least Niall wouldn’t have to try and help with homework. “Lou, it’ll be fine. I know it will be.”

“I know, just- this is really nerve wrecking, I was so scared and… but I can’t complain, Harry’s got it way worse, I just briefly left the room because they’re doing some scans… thank you for taking care of the girls, really. Are they okay?” Louis asked again, probably because Niall had never answered the question.

“Josie is okay, Clara is a bit sad. But she’s probably also really tired… do you wanna talk to them? I know it’s almost their bedtime.” Or maybe it had already passed, Niall had forgotten to check the time if he was being honest.

Louis agreed, so Niall walked back into the living room, and as expected, the excitement of hearing Louis over the speaker almost hurt his ears. Niall handed the phone to Liam, sitting on the edge of the couch while Josie also almost climbed onto Liam’s lap to talk to her dad.

He did end up telling them that the baby would be coming tonight, and they cheered again and even Clara seemed to have all but forgotten about her sadness. Of course, it quickly came back the moment that Louis ended the call and they had never gotten to speak to Harry, because he didn’t really seem to be in a condition where he should have talked to the girls without freaking them out too much.

“So we’re not going home?” Clara asked as soon as Louis had hung up, her bottom lip quivering a bit.

“I promise tomorrow you’re gonna see your daddies, okay? And it’s okay if you can’t sleep, we can read something, or watch a movie, anything.” Liam promised her immediately, and she nodded, but she also sniffed. “Are you girls tired?”

“Nope.” Josie told him immediately, and Liam shared a look with Niall, both of them smiling a bit. “… do we have to sleep on the couch?”

“No, there’s a second bedroom upstairs, no worries.” Liam promised her with a grin, her face having been a bit critical upon looking at the couch. “Do you wanna see it?”

“Hmm… okay.” The girl shrugged a bit as he got up, and Liam tried to put down Clara, but she told him with a very firm _no_ that he was not allowed to do that. 

In the end, Liam kinda gave them a house tour of the upper floor, and at least it got both Clara and Josie excited once they found out that the guestroom they’d be sleeping in would be the baby’s room in a few months. It didn’t get Niall too excited because it made him remember that they were really far behind with absolutely everything.

Also, now that Harry was already having his baby, he was kinda feeling even more stressed out for some reason, like… so much could go wrong, for Harry’s baby, but also for Niall’s. What if Niall would fall too? And what if it would happen when it was still too soon for the baby to survive? What if it would all be his fault? Or if he ate something he shouldn’t have and… oh god, suddenly Niall had all kinda horror scenarios in his head.

“I didn’t even get to bring any plushie… “ Clara told them while they were in the guestroom, having decided to stay there because maybe eventually the girls would be okay with going to bed. 

“Look… do you wanna borrow this doggie, maybe? Would that help?” Liam had immediately gone to the closet where they were keeping the things they already had for the baby, showing Clara the stuffed dog that Zayn had gotten them.

Clara seemed very unsure of the dog, but she did end up nodding, holding it to her chest as she put her head on Liam’s shoulder. God, Niall was going to die, straight up. 

“Should we read a book?” Niall threw it into the room, because Josie was busy testing out how good the bed was for jumping, and at this rate, they’d never get them to sleep. “Or maybe we should brush teeth first.”

“But we don’t have our toothbrushes.” Josie told him, and yeah, Niall hadn’t considered that.

“I’ve got a few spare, but I… “ Liam trailed off then, probably thinking the same things as Niall. Pretty sure the girls weren’t supposed to use toothpaste and brushes not made for children at their age. “Let’s just go and drink some water, it’s okay if we don’t brush our teeth one time.”

“But my daddies say we always have to.” Clara told him quietly, and Liam petted her head.

“I know, and your daddy is right, but we don’t have your things here, and it’s really okay if we miss it one time. Tomorrow when you’re at home you can brush them extra well, okay?” He told her, and she nodded while Niall was a bit worried what would happen if the girls would end up staying longer with them. Clara especially, he could imagine she’d throw another fit.

So they went and made sure the girls at least kept some water in their mouth and spit it out, which turned out to be quite a fun game for them and Clara allowed Liam to put her down for it. For a whole of two minutes before she was stretching out her arms towards him again. Niall could tell he absolutely did not mind it, seemed actually really happy that she liked him so much and felt more comforted in his arms.

After a while of talking them into it, the girls did end up saying okay to reading a book in bed, though they both claimed they weren’t tired in the slightest way. Josie was fully lying down underneath the blanket, but Liam had to sit on the bed next to her of course, keeping Clara on his lap while Niall volunteered to read something, staying on the end of the bed.

Luckily he had practice with this, and he simply googled some story on his phone because the books they had for the baby weren’t appropriate for their ages. Plus, they were super short, and he wanted them to get tired after all.

Before Niall started to read, he also took notice that Liam seemed well excited to listen to him read too, so he made sure to try extra hard.

It wasn’t difficult to get Clara to fall asleep on Liam’s lap, because she must have gotten tired from all the crying, but Josie was a lot harder to crack. Niall ended up reading three stories, and even Liam had half lied down by the end of it, meanwhile Josie had maybe yawned just two times.

“Are you sure you’re not tired? Not even the tiniest bit?” Niall asked her after he had finished the third story and the little girl simply shrugged, playing with the blanket.

“Not really… “ She then threw a look over at her sleeping sister. “… my daddy and the baby are really gonna be okay, right? You didn’t just say that because Clara was listening?”

“They are going to be okay, we didn’t just say that, and neither did your dad.” Liam promised her, and Josie nodded after a moment. “Are you excited that you’re gonna be meeting the baby soon?”

“Yeah, but… it wasn’t supposed to come so soon, is it gonna be really tiny?” She continued, and honestly, Niall had no idea how to answer this.

“Maybe in the beginning.” He settled for that, because what else was he gonna say, if he didn’t even know himself? “But it’s going to be okay and healthy, and grow up normally.”

“Okay… and I hope my daddy is going to be okay too. I don’t think it’s a lot of fun to have a baby.” She pulled a face at that, and it reminded Niall all too much about his own fears. As if she had read his mind, Josie was suddenly looking at him. “Are you scared? For when your baby comes?”

“Ummm… a bit, yeah. But it’s… it’s not so bad.” Niall lied, because he was honestly convinced that it was more than just bad. He was terrified just imaging it, so much that Harry had even offered that he could be there for when his baby was born so he could see what was to come, but of course… that was never going to happen now.

Also, Niall probably wouldn’t have wanted to be there anyways, they were best friends, but it seemed a bit, way too, intimate.

“Did you wanna have a baby?” Josie continued to ask, and Niall and Liam shared a look, because how much exactly did this little girl know about having babies?! 

“Of course.” Niall lied again, because he couldn’t explain to her how it had happened. Plus, if their baby ever asked her, Niall wouldn’t want her to tell them that it had been an accident. “Why are you asking?”

“I don’t know… because my daddies said that most people have babies when they really love each other and I didn’t know if you love each other like my daddies do.” Well… now Niall really didn’t know anymore what to say. “So do you?”

Niall knew he needed to answer, but he felt a bit incapable of talking right now, so luckily Liam jumped in for him, his voice softer than anything. “I don’t know how much your daddies love each other, but I love your uncle Niall very much.”

Great, now Niall was all choked up as he looked Liam in the eyes, saw the expression on his face and the softness and love. He was truly about to start crying when he made sure to add something, so Josie wouldn’t think it was only Liam who loved Niall. But more so because he just wanted Liam to know as well.

“And I love Liam more than anything as well.” This was more for Liam than for her, but Niall truly meant it either way, and they shared a very brief moment just looking at each other.

“Okay.” Josie concluded from this, and then she hesitated for a second. “… so, you’re our uncle too, right? I can call you uncle Liam?”

“If… if you want to do that.” Liam told her slowly, and the girl thought about it for a moment, and then she nodded.

“I think Clara really wants to call you that too because she always keeps talking about you whenever you leave.” She told Liam while looking at her sister sleeping in his arms. “Is your baby gonna be our cousin?”

“Of course.” Niall told her quickly, because it would be, right? This baby would basically have no other family, unless Niall would bring it over himself to call his mother back, but even then, he wouldn’t tell her about the baby, or about Liam. About anything at all, really. 

“That’s gonna be so cool, all my other cousins are weird.” She shrugged and Niall held back a laugh, kinda glad when Josie suddenly had to yawn again.

“You know, it’s okay if you’re tired and wanna sleep… I’m sure tomorrow you can both go and visit your dad and the new baby.” Hopefully.

“I’m just a little bit tired… “ Josie claimed, but then she had to yawn again and Niall finally convinced her to try and sleep a bit.

Liam had a hard time putting down Clara in bed next to her and tucking her in because she kept moving, but she didn’t wake up once he had gotten up and pulled the blanket over her, so that was something. 

“You know where we are if anything is wrong, yeah? Or if you can’t sleep, you can come to our room any time.” Niall promised after ruffling her hair a bit, but the girl seemed to have already half fallen asleep as she nodded, yawning again. “Alright… sleep tight, love.”

“Night… love you… “ She mumbled into the pillow and Niall smiled, telling her he loved her as well before they made sure to quietly exit the room, only leaving on one of the bedside table lights because Niall knew that otherwise, one of them would have woken up crying.

Liam told Niall he’d go and turn off the lights downstairs and close the blinds despite the younger man’s protests, but then Liam kissed him and told him he’d massage his back a bit longer afterwards, so Niall gave in and went to wait in their bedroom instead.

It actually wasn’t late at all, but he had gotten tired from everything going on and all the thinking and worrying, plus the reading of course, and he was still thinking about his mother calling and whether Harry would be alright and… he still felt weird when Liam came back with their phones, quietly closing the door. 

“You okay?” He could of course immediately read it in Niall’s face, could probably sense it too as he put their phones on the bedside table before crawling into bed next to the younger man. “Harry is going to be fine, Ni. And so is the baby.”

“I hope so… “ Niall mumbled, leaning back against the pillows as he slowly stroked his own stomach. “Just made me think, is all. I know it’s kinda selfish that I’m thinking about myself in this situation, it’s just… that could have happened to me too. And Harry is already 35 weeks, the baby will be fine, but like… what if it happened sooner? So much can go wrong… “

“Babe, it was an accident, nothing else. Something could technically always happen, even if you’re not pregnant.” Okay, well… 

“That’s not very comforting.” Niall admitted, still looking down at his belly when he felt Liam moving closer until he could wrap his arm around the younger man’s shoulders, kissing his cheek. 

“Sorry… look, we’re being super careful, right? We go to the doctor way more than we have to. And even if something happened, it doesn’t mean it would have any consequences. It’s also possible Harry is only having the baby because he’s so far along to begin with, a simple fall wouldn’t just induce labor when you’re at 19 weeks.” But how would he know?

“It might.” Niall told him, leaning more into the older man though. “I’m just worried… I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened… “

“Nothing is going to happen, Nialler, I promise.” Liam put his hand on Niall’s stomach as well, pulling him in a bit closer with his other arm, his lips placing another kiss against the side of the younger man’s head. “I don’t wanna tell you not to be worried, I just don’t want you to feel bad now or panicked that this is gonna happen to you.”

“I’m not, I just… it just got me thinking.” Niall mumbled, rubbing his stomach still where Liam’s hand wasn’t covering it. “Also… you know… of course my mom had to call, out of all people and out of all days and… I just feel a bit stressed, that’s all.”

“You don’t have to call her back, Nialler, you never even have to answer the phone.” Of course Liam was right, but Niall wasn’t sure if he’d be able to pull that off.

“I’m a bit scared she’s just gonna show up here one day and… and then she’s gonna see I’m pregnant and probably murder me in the middle of the streets, so… maybe I should tell her, but… if I do she’s gonna wanna see the baby all the time and pretend like we get along really well and I don’t want that either. On the other hand… our baby won’t have anyone besides us.” It was true and they both knew that, and Niall didn’t really care all too much, it’s just… maybe he did. 

“Maybe you can sort out things with your parents before you tell them. Or at least talk to them.” Niall knew that Liam had been wanting him to do this for quite a while, but truth be told, there was nothing Niall felt like doing less than this.

“It’s been so long though and I don’t even really know what to say anymore and it’s like, I know they will never admit to everything they’ve done, but then at the same time it wasn’t all their fault and I did some stupid things too and… you know, if none of that had happened between me and them, you and I might have never even met. So I’m thinking… maybe it was supposed to happen this way anyways.” Niall then shrugged a bit, because he wasn’t quite sure how much he believed in that himself, he just couldn’t even imagine his life without Liam in it at this point. “… do you think you’re ever gonna talk to your dad again?”

“No.” That was a very clear answer, and Niall regretted having asked in the first place, but then the older man sighed, letting his head fall against Niall’s. “There’s really no use. I tried, multiple times, it’s a waste of time. And he doesn’t want it, so… we’re both better off this way. So I really get it if you don’t wanna talk to your mom, I just feel like it’s bothering you and you would like to have it sorted.”

“I do… I just don’t know if that’s possible. And I’m not sure if I want her in our baby’s life… “ Because once she knew, Niall was certain he’d never get rid of her again and he just KNEW she’d try to tell them how to parent. “Anyways, I gotta think about it, it was just really bad timing.”

“Yeah… “ Liam mumbled, rubbing his palm over Niall’s stomach, clearly not convinced. 

“You’re so good with Clara, she absolutely loves you.” Niall made sure to tell him, a bit to change the topic, but also because it was very true. “You’re so cute with her.”

“It’s probably just because Louis hander her to me, if he had given her to you-“

“No, it’s always whenever we hang out with them. And Josie even told you before, she really wants to call you uncle Liam as well.” The younger man insisted, leaning back just a bit so they could look at each other and he could smile at Liam. “It really suits you.”

“What? Uncle Liam?” The older man laughed a bit, but his face had gotten a bit pink as well. “I don’t know… I mean, _you’re_ their uncle and-“

“You are too, Liam. They wanna call you that but you’re also kinda their uncle by default now. Even if I’m not related to either Harry or Louis, but… you know. See, maybe our baby really only needs them and us as family. And Zayn. That’s quite a lot of people anyways and just because someone has a family doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.” For which they were both living proof, but Niall could sense that Liam was about to start talking about it again, so he made sure to carry on before the older man had even been able to say a single word. “Did you like any of the names that Josie came up with?”

“Umm… I’m not sure.” Liam laughed briefly, and Niall was a bit relieved because he had felt the same way. Sure, it had been a cute idea, but hopefully Josie didn’t think they’d truly name their child any of the names she had written down. “I’m excited to see what Harry and Louis are gonna decide on now... but I suppose they have much bigger issues right now. Not that anything will happen, just-“

“I know, Li. I’m worried too that the girls will have to stay with us, not that I don’t want them to, but I know they’re rather be home… and Josie was already jealous of the baby quite a while back, so I don’t know… but Harry and Louis know what they’re doing. I hope.” Niall shrugged a bit then, because none of this was in their hands anyways, they’d gladly watch the girls of course. It was good practice as well as fun to spend time with them. “What are we gonna be doing tomorrow? Because of work?”

“Either you don’t go or we both just don’t go. I’d give you the car, but I don’t know if you wanna d-“

“I literally can’t drive anymore after all this time. I’d crash it, I couldn’t drive the girls around, so… if Louis picks them up then I can stay home and wait, but… maybe it’d be better if we both stayed home. Unless you really wanna work.” Truth was, Niall really did not want Liam to go to work.

“I don’t. Also, I could work from home, it’s no problem.” Liam shrugged a bit before smiling at Niall, suddenly leaning in to kiss him on the mouth. “Let’s just take the whole day off and then whatever happens with Harry and Louis, we can be there and help them out, ‘m sure they’re gonna need it. And it’s almost the weekend anyways.”

“Yeah… ‘m really glad you just said that because I really don’t wanna put on an alarm right now.” Niall joked, although he was well aware that the girls would be waking them way too early in the morning anyways. “… and I also want you to stay home with me.”

“You know… you can tell me that anytime you feel that way. Also after tomorrow.” Liam shrugged a bit, his face soft before Niall leaned in to kiss him some more, his stomach feeling warm when Liam’s hand slipped underneath his shirt to touch his bare skin.

“Don’t say that or we might never go back to work… “ Niall mumbled against the older man’s lips and Liam laughed against his mouth but continued to kiss him.

Niall let himself fall back a bit more, pulling Liam with him. The older man never fully lied on top of him anymore because of the baby of course, but he kept his hand where it was while Niall wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck to make sure he stayed where he was. Lying down like this, his back wasn’t hurting anymore either and they could have just continued this because it was kinda early anyways.

“It’s really wrong I wanna take this further right now… “ Niall whispered, the whole snogging making him hard but at the same time, he really didn’t wanna do this with the girls down the hallway. No way they would have heard them or anything, it just didn’t seem right.

“They won’t hear a thing.” Liam promised, kissing the corner of his mouth and then his jaw and down his neck while Niall sighed, in an internal conflict as the older man sucked on his skin for a bit. “But we don’t have to… “ 

“Hmmm… “ Was all Niall made, not wanting to make the decision and he also couldn’t think clearly with Liam kissing and sucking on his skin. 

The older man kept moving downwards, pushing up Niall’s shirt even higher as he went along, and when his lips covered one of Niall’s nipples, the younger man flinched. “Wait, wait.”

“Sorry, did I hurt you?” Liam let go immediately, looking guilty as he lifted his head and Niall brushed his fingers through his hair.

“No, it’s just- they’re sensitive, it took me by surprise.” He actually had to catch his breath now, and then he just had to tell Liam. “I’m kinda scared I’ll come with you just touching them.”

“Oh.” Liam made, looking surprised, but then he suddenly grinned.

“It’s not an invitation.” Niall told him while laughing even though the older man hadn’t even done anything. “Maybe… maybe some other time.”

“Okay, anything you want.” Liam promised, smiling before leaning down again, thankfully avoiding Niall’s nipples this time though.

Niall’s bump wasn’t showing as much lying down as when he was standing up, but it was still there as Liam kissed over the slightly stretched skin, stopping for a moment and Niall watched him, always liking whenever Liam was kissing his stomach.

“Hi, baby… “ Liam whispered against Niall’s skin and the younger man felt his heart flutter a bit. God, why did Liam always have to be so damn bloody cute?! “Your daddy and I love you so much already, we can’t wait until you’re here… “

“Now we really can’t have sex anymore… “ Niall mumbled, smiling though and his throat feeling a little bit tight as Liam just laughed. “What? It feels wrong now, the baby is right there where your dick would be and now you surely woke it up.”

“Can I at least blow you?” Liam asked, and well, to THAT, Niall could not say no, so he simply shrugged a bit while the older man laughed some more. “Thought so.”

The older man moved down further, until his face was right where Niall’s pants were, and he didn’t tease today, just removed them instantly, taking Niall’s half hard erection into his mouth and sucking him off until Niall was coming into his mouth, the entire time having to try his very hardest to stay silent for anything in the world.

They did snog some more after, and Niall insisted on getting Liam off as well because he could feel how hard he was against his thigh. It didn’t last for very long, and they had definitely had better orgasms together, but this was just what it was for tonight. 

Liam definitely had a bit of fun later touching Niall’s nipples on “accident” a couple times while they were in the bathroom brushing their teeth together, and when they went back to lying in bed because they had nothing else to do anyways. 

Of course Niall was still very worried about Harry, but Louis texted him again a while later that nothing had changed and Niall made sure to go check on the girls again before he and Liam went to sleep as well. After snogging some more and yet again discussing some more baby names, Niall fell asleep rather quickly with his head on the older man’s chest, hearing him whisper _I love you_ before passing out.

It was a good night, with just one incident of Clara waking up, and even though Liam brought her back to the guest room, Niall wasn’t all to surprised when he woke up with the little girl sleeping soundly in their bed, just on Liam’s side though. 

He would definitely make the best daddy ever, Niall was more than convinced of it. He had been before, but after tonight, there was no doubt left in his mind.

\-------------------------

“But is it a boy or a girl?” Josie and Clara were really excited the next morning, after Louis had called and told Niall and Liam that both the baby and Harry were healthy and that they could bring the girls over later.

They made sure to wait until they told them, and then they had to drive to Harry’s and Louis’ house to get the girls dressed in normal clothes as well and also to brush their teeth. Niall had a key anyways, and sure, they could have already gone there last night, but it had been kinda late. Plus, they didn’t have any car seats for them, so then Liam had gone to buy some while Niall had eaten breakfast with the girls.

All in all, it proved to be very time consuming tasks, but they did eventually make it to the hospital at some point. Probably better that way, because it gave Harry some more time to recover.

“We don’t know yet either, love.” Niall told them, holding Josie’s hand while they were walking across the parking lot, because Clara had long claimed Liam’s as hers. “We’re about to find out, okay?”

“Do you think I can hold the baby?” Josie continued asking, and this was where Niall got more hesitant.

“You can hold it very soon, I think for now it has to stay inside, like… “ Okay, how to say this to a little girl when Niall didn’t know what these things for babies that were born too soon were called either? “In a little box, because it was born a bit soon, you know? So it’s gonna stay in there for a bit, like it stayed in your daddy’s tummy, right? But you can see it and everything.”

“Hmmm, that sounds really weird.” Josie decided, and Niall agreed, but it had been his fault for wording it so weirdly really. 

It took them a while to navigate through the hospital, Niall let Liam take over because he had read the message Louis had sent them more clearly and probably knew where they were going. Niall made sure to tell the girls to try and be quiet, but of course, that didn’t really work out once they had entered the right room.

“Daddy!” Clara was the one yelling first, and a nurse was in the room as well, who flinched a bit before smiling when the girls both went to half run and hug Louis.

“Hi, girls, are you doing okay? I missed you. How was it with uncle Niall and Liam?” Louis asked, hugging them both at once, kissing their heads.

“It was fun, and he’s our uncle Liam too and also, they are having a baby too.” Josie told him all excited, and Louis seemed very surprised by her words, but Niall simply shrugged. They had barely even entered the room, and Niall’s attention was more on Harry because he was smiling, but he also seemed very exhausted. “Where is the baby?!”

“I can take you to see it, if you want. In a few minutes, yeah?” Louis promised, letting go of the girls so they could go and say hi to Harry as well before turning to Niall and Liam. “Thank you so much for doing this.”

“No problem at all. How are you doing, Haz?” Niall asked Harry, who was hugging Clara after Louis had lifted her up on the edge of the bed.

“Tired, but I’m okay.” He smiled at them, which was like a huge stone falling off of Niall’s heart.

“You gave us quite a scare.” Niall admitted, leaning against Liam when the older put an arm around his waist. “Like, not to make you feel bad, I’m just super glad you’re okay. And the baby too. How, um… how long did it last?”

“So long, you don’t even want to know.” Harry told him, knowing what he was referring to, and Niall swallowed hard, but the other man was quick to add more. “But it, uh, wasn’t as bad as I thought.”

“Mhm.” Niall made, not really trusting his word, now grateful for Liam’s support because he was overcome with a wave of fear.

“Are you finally gonna tell us a name?” Liam threw in to change the topic, and the girls cheered too, switching between staring at Harry and Louis with wide eyes. 

“Yes! Is it a boy or a girl?!” Josie asked and Harry and Louis looked at each other, smiling before Harry was the one who FINALLY lifted the secret.

“It’s a boy.” He told them, and then he continued though Niall was already excited for them. “His name is James.”

Before anyone could have said anything at all, Clara was a bit faster, her face not all too happy while Josie looked well excited. “I wanted it to be a girl… “

It did make them all laugh when she buried her head in Harry’s shoulder, seemingly genuinely sad as Harry rubbed her back with a grin on his face, and then Louis looked right at Niall. “We did name him after your second name, it’s not a coincidence. And we really want you to be the godfather, I know you keep saying you don’t think you could do that, but we really think you’re the best one to do it. You’re always there to watch the girls and help us out, you’re our best friend. And now you got Liam as well, and we’d trust both of you with our kids more than anyone else. So it’s kinda fitting that’s Liam’s second name as well. But you can think about being the godfather still, there’s no rush at all. Just so you know we’re really serious about this.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.” Niall admitted, because he would have NEVER thought they’d name their child after him. AND be serious about the godfather thing. Now Niall wanted to burst into tears, but he kept it together because he knew it would have shocked the girls, and he tried to let himself be comforted by Liam’s hand rubbing his back and kissing the side of his head. “Thank you for… you know. I… I really don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything right now.” Louis laughed when Niall went to hug him, and he would have hugged Harry too, but it was kind of just a one arm squeeze because Clara was somewhere in the middle as well. “So, who wants to see their baby brother?”

Of course the girls were well excited, Clara too though obviously not as much as Josie. Louis took the girls to see the baby while Niall and Liam stayed with Harry for a while, which was good because Niall definitely needed some time to let all of this sink in. Did he want to be the godfather of this baby? Of course he did, he was just a little worried if he was the right choice or not.

“How long do you have to stay, do you know already?” Liam asked after Niall had turned a bit white hearing his friend explaining the birth in a bit too much detail for his liking. 

“I don’t have to stay long, the baby is another question. They said they just wanna monitor him to be on the safe side, he’s really small, but they said he’s going to be just fine and- Ni are you crying?” Harry interrupted himself, and Niall quickly wiped his eyes. “Everything is good, everyone’s healthy.”

“I know, just… it’s a lot. And my body is kinda going crazy.” Niall told him while wiping his tears and Harry smiled as Liam gave him a quick hug. His face was worried, so Niall tried to get it together. “I’m really happy for you guys.”

“I’m sorry if I scared you with the birth story, it’s really half as bad. And also, it was super unexpected, that won’t happen to you. When I had Josie and Clara, it was completely different as well.” Harry promised him, and Niall nodded, but he honestly did not fully believe him. How could he have? “You’re gonna be okay, Nialler.”

“I know… I’m fine. Just, emotional.” And also terrified.

They talked a bit more until Louis came back with the girls, the both of them super hyper now and talking nonstop about the baby, telling Niall and Liam that he was sooo cute and that they wanted to take him home with them right now. So at least Clara seemed to have changed her mind about having wanted another sister.

Louis then took the other two as well, and Niall was honestly a bit scared to see the baby, possibly see how small it was and then having to worry all over again, and he was sure he was almost squishing Liam’s hand in his as they went with Louis while he told them a bunch of things that Niall’s brain couldn’t retain.

Niall never learned what the name of the box was the baby was kept in, all he knew upon seeing James was that the girls had definitely been right. That WAS the cutest baby he had ever seen, and also, he wasn’t as small as Niall had feared, so it was all good.

So naturally, he just started to cry yet again. 

“He’s so cute, Lou… “ Niall half sobbed while his friend was grinning and Liam kept his arms around him at all times for support. 

“He is.” Liam agreed immediately, and Niall saw the soft look on his face as he watched the baby, which made him imagine he’d be looking at their own baby like that soon, and of course that only made everything a lot worse. 

God damn it, Niall’s eyes were already burning from all the crying and then they were able to touch the baby too and that was it for Niall basically. Louis found it absolutely hilarious that Niall was this emotional the entire time, and he claimed that if Niall reacted this way, then he HAD to say yes to being the godfather, and that they’d re-think the name if Niall said no. Of course that was just a joke, but it showed Niall how serious they were about wanting him to say yes.

Maybe now he really could, now that he had a stable job and also… a boyfriend that he knew wouldn’t ever think of leaving him. And if they really bonded one day then… Niall genuinely had nothing to be worried about, right? If he screwed it up, Liam would still be there, and he was great with the kids and… it would be fine, right?

So when they went got back to Harry’s room, and they asked him yet again to be the godfather of little James, this time, Niall told them yes. 

\--------------------

Liam was absolutely ecstatic for Harry and Louis, but also for Niall of course. He knew how much it meant to the younger man, anybody could see it by the way he reacted, still emotional once he and Liam left the hospital a while later.

Louis and Harry had decided that the girls would stay with them because Harry would need some rest anyways, so Louis would go home with them in the evening. Liam made sure to let them know that they could really call at any time if they needed anything at all, and of course they had family and parents and siblings, but Niall and Liam lived a lot closer.

“I really can’t believe that they did that… I don’t feel like I even deserve it.” Niall half laughed as they walked through the exit, and Liam made sure to stop him once they were outside.

“Of course you do, babe, you’re their best friend. It was their decision, they wanted to call the baby that, because of you, and they want no one but you to be the godfather or they wouldn’t have asked so many times.” It had made Liam happy, because even though he had always known how much Harry and Louis had Niall’s back, it was still very comforting to see just how much the younger man could always count on them.

“I know it’s just… completely out of nowhere, you know? I mean they asked about the godfather thing before, I just didn’t think they were being that serious, and now… “ Niall trailed off, still holding Liam’s hand tightly, but then he suddenly pulled away to hug him rather tightly. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Liam was genuinely confused as he hugged Niall back automatically.

“I don’t know, just… for being by my side. And for being my boyfriend and for putting up with all my shit all the time and… I love you. So much. I don’t know how I ever did not realize that, because now it feels like… like we were never meant to be anything besides boyfriends, you know? And for us to have this baby together and… I’m just emotional, sorry.” He apologized, letting out a bit of a breathless laugh and Liam held on even tighter, breathing the younger man in.

“I love you too, Nialler… “ He told him quietly while rocking them a bit. They were right outside the hospital with people walking past them the entire time, but Liam kinda completely forgot about that and he also didn’t care at all. 

Tonight and today had really shown Liam again and again that they were perfect the way they were, that somehow, the universe or somebody else must have decided that they were meant to be together and have this baby, because otherwise, Liam could have not explained why his life felt so freaking perfect.

Maybe it wasn’t from the outside, but it sure as hell felt like it and that was all that mattered.

\----------------------

“It feels really strange to see you in here.” Niall just had to tell Zayn that as he sat down on the couch in Liam’s office, and the other man simply laughed at him.

“I’m not doing any of your work though, and if you just ask me a single question I’m going to run out of that door.” He joked, but Niall kinda truly believed him. “Just thought I really needed to see if the place is still standing without me and I gotta say I’m really surprised that it is.”

Niall playfully rolled his eyes at that as he sat opposite Zayn. They were waiting for Liam to get back from some kinda meeting because they were actually going to go and eat something and that was why Zayn had shown up here. But also because apparently, he had gotten off of work earlier than expected.

“So, how are things? How’s Harry and the baby?” Zayn had already met James as far as Niall knew, but only one time or something, it had been a busy week for all of them.

“Good, I think they can take him home tomorrow… or Monday the latest.” Thank god, because if Niall imagined that that was his baby and he’d have to stay in the hospital… he didn’t think he’d be able to bear leaving his baby there after having been so used to having it with him at all times during his pregnancy. 

“That’s good. He’s so cute, isn’t he? Like, literally the cutest baby I’ve ever seen. Not that I’ve seen so many, but… “ Zayn shrugged a bit and Niall agreed immediately. The only baby that would be cuter was of course his own even though it wasn’t here yet. “… did Harry already make a decision because of his books and the movie? I’ve been thinking about that a couple days ago… “

“Umm, as far as I know he put it on hold, like, he did speak to the director and told him he couldn’t make such a big decision now with the baby and everything, but… I think eventually he will tell him no.” Actually, Niall was almost 100% convinced that Harry would say no, which in turn of course would possibly also fall back on Niall… or maybe it wouldn’t, because it seemed he had already messed that up all by himself by producing shit music, sooo… 

Zayn nodded a bit in sympathy, and then he of course asked exactly what Niall had already been expecting. “And did you ever hear back because of your music?”

“No… I mean, I didn’t really expect it anyways.” Niall quickly added the last part, clearing his throat a bit, and then he shrugged, deciding to make it into a joke. “I wouldn’t have any time now to become a popstar anyways, I’ll just wait a couple years.”

“Sounds like a good idea.” The other man laughed with him, and Niall just wanted to them to drop the topic, because he really didn’t need any sympathy. It was what it was. “But you’re doing okay, right? And the baby as well?”

“Yeah, ‘course… I mean besides the normal things, you know. Liam’s had to put up with my moods and stuff, but… he’s really good at handling those.” He was really good at handling absolutely everything and anything honestly. “How’s work?”

They talked about that a couple minutes because Liam would be away for a while still anyways, and then they somehow started talking about the firm again, and Niall somehow brought up the new guy Liam had hired to replace Zayn and how annoying he was, and the older man just laughed at him. “Ni, you don’t have to be scared one bit that someone will try to get with Liam. He’s only got eyes for you, mate.”

“Well, I sure as hell hope so, because I’m his bloody boyfriend.” Niall joked, but he also meant it. He knew he was very possessive of Liam, but it was the same the other way around and he just couldn’t help it anyways. “But it’s like… I don’t blame anyone for trying to get with him, you know. It’s just annoying that this guy is so damn over-motivated and works basically 7 days a week.”

“Well, it’s better than somebody really lazy, right? And one day Liam might just wanna focus on his writing and he’s gonna need somebody to step up. Sure, he has you as well, but once the baby is here… you guys might wanna take a bit of time off as well.” Zayn said it very easily, and Niall didn’t really think anything of it because he had just been nodding along, but then…

“Wait, his writing?” He asked, suddenly really confused about what the other man was even talking about.

“I mean, his books.” Zayn explained, but Niall continued to stare at him in confusion, because what? And then after a moment, the other man suddenly turned a bit paler. “He, um… he did tell you about that, right?”

“About what?” Seriously, what the hell?

“He’s published a couple of his own books under his label, but not under his name.” Zayn told him, only to very quickly trying to take it back. “Wait, don’t tell him I told you, I… I just thought he had told you for sure. I don’t know if he’s still writing, he still was when he hired you though.”

“But… but why would he not tell me? And also, why’s he using a fake name?” What?!

“I don’t think I should tell you all of that, he might have wanted to do it himself… um, but I think it’s because of his dad.” Zayn explained eventually, clearly looking uncomfortable now, throwing looks back at the door every few seconds. “Niall, we really shouldn’t-“

“But why? Why would his dad care about that? They don’t even speak to each other.” Right?

“It’s because Liam’s written stuff from personal experience and- if his dad found out and people could link it back to him, let’s just say… he wouldn’t be very happy because he’s not portrayed in the best way.” Oh. “I’m sure he just didn’t tell you because he’s not even writing anymore. It’s been a while since he published the last one.”

“Yeah, but… it’s weird he kept it from me.” Why had he not mentioned it just a single time? “But I won’t say anything… I mean, if he doesn’t want me to know… “

“I’m sure it’s not that, Ni. I also only found out by accident as well, years ago, because I didn’t recognize the name he used and I asked him about it and-“

They didn’t get very much further, because the door opened and Liam entered, seemingly in the very best mood ever as he went to hug Zayn with excitement, so Niall really couldn’t be mad at him. Not that he would have ever been, it was none of his business after all.

Then again, that didn’t mean he wasn’t curious as to why exactly Liam would have kept something like that from him. If that was what he truly wanted, to write books, maybe he didn’t even want to spend so much time at the firm and play boss? 

And maybe it was a bit selfish, but Niall kinda liked the idea of Liam spending more time at home once the baby was here, because they had already agreed that Niall would be taking time off, but the younger man really wanted them to experience these things together.

It seemed he would have to wait though, until Liam brought it up himself, but somehow Niall felt like he’d wait a long ass time for that. And the longer he thought about Liam and those books he had written, he suddenly very much had to think about this one book published under Liam’s label that he had started to read a while ago without telling the older man.

\--------------------

“You’re gonna have to answer at some point.” Liam couldn’t help but say it when he saw Niall declining his mother calling yet again. It had been a week since she had first called while the girls had been with them, and this was now the third time Niall hadn’t answered.

“I really don’t.” The younger man told him, his mood seemingly having dropped immediately upon looking at the screen of his phone. “I don’t wanna talk to her. Or dad.”

Liam let out a sigh at this, but he really got it. He didn’t know many details of what had happened between Niall and his parents, he just knew that Niall’s past had been difficult and that it had been the result of his parents treating him the way they had. So who was Liam to tell him to make up with them, when he himself hadn’t spoken to his own father in years?

“Let’s talk about something else. Do you like this one?” They were out looking at stuff for the baby, because they were both getting a bit stressed with Niall being 20 weeks pregnant, but also, it was fun to shop for things for the baby together. Not under these circumstance though.

“I do.” Liam told him honestly, but he wasn’t ready to just let it drop. “Nialler… “

“We don’t have to talk about it. I’m fine.” The younger man was clearly lying as he kept looking at the cribs while Liam could tell he was thinking about anything but the baby right now. “You know, we never really got Harry and Louis a gift for James, we should do that. And since I’m the godfather and all… “

“Sure.” Liam agreed immediately, because he had been thinking the same but he had wanted Niall to make the decision of course. 

For a while, they didn’t talk about Niall’s mother again, but by the time they were leaving the store having bought a few too many things like usual and got back into the car, she was calling AGAIN. And Niall again simply pressed decline with Liam watching.

“Maybe something happened.” Was all the older man could think of right now, but Niall simply shrugged, putting his phone on silent all of a sudden. Ever since yesterday, after they had met up with Zayn, Niall had been acting a bit off, and Liam had thought he just hadn’t been feeling well, but now he thought it might have something to do with this. “Babe… we really don’t have to talk about it, but I- I can see it’s bothering you.”

“I’m fine… “ He was lying, again, but then he suddenly rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. “Look, it’s just… I know they’d be happy for me. For us. They’d most likely even love you and the baby, but… they’d wanna pretend we’re a happy family and just forget about the past, but I… I don’t think I can. I don’t need them, I just need you, and our baby, and our friends. But of course it’s bothering me, they’re my parents and… you know what it’s like.”

“I know… “ All too well. “But Niall… maybe they just wanna talk, maybe they wanna apologize, maybe-“

“Yeah, maybe. But would you be able to forgive your dad if he called right now?” A good question, and it silenced Liam immediately. He felt guilty for what he had said, for trying to push Niall like that, but on the other hand… he was really just trying to help. “You know, um… “

“What’s wrong?” Liam asked immediately, sensing that it was nothing good when Niall took a deeper breath, suddenly looking out of the window.

“Yesterday when Zayn suddenly came to the office and you were still at that meeting… “ He started, and Liam hadn’t been expecting this at all, so he had really no idea what Niall was about to say. “He told me something and I was wondering if-“

And then Niall broke off, suddenly looking down at his phone again, so Liam did the same, and they could both read _mom_ very clearly.

There was a moment where they just exchanged looks, and Liam almost wanted to tell Niall to ignore it, just because he wanted to know what the fuck Zayn had told Niall yesterday that was making Niall feel this upset, but then the younger man seemed to give himself a push and actually answered the call.

“Hello?” Niall sounded quite annoyed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes, only to sit up straight again, with his eyes wide open, a second later. “Wait, what?!”

Needless to say, Liam already saw their planned date night going down the drain as he continued to listen to the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an earlier update tonight to make up for all the times i failed at doing that! but also because i wrote and edited this chapter in a record time of 6 hours, im pretty proud of myself for that because i didnt even feel all too rushed :p
> 
> anyways, hope you enjoyed it!!! also thank you to the person who suggested niall and liam calling their baby james because of their second names, because it made me think of harry and louis naming theirs james in honor of niall haha! also because i suddenly panicked when the scene came up and i hadnt even thought of a name yet :p theres lots of drama to come, even though 0 of it was planned so yay! 
> 
> ive got my last exam this friday, and then i only have 4 more assignments but im also starting my internship next week so im curious to see how all of that will play out ha! on top of that weve got a second wave of corona happening in the city i live in so everything is kinda uncertain anyways. hope you guys are less stressed than me, have a great week & thank you for all the support <3


	20. Chapter 20

Once Niall had ended the call, he basically just sat there, staring out of the window, and he could feel Liam looking at him, expecting an explanation of this weird conversation, but Niall just… he just really didn’t wanna have to say it.

“Babe.” Liam started, slowly, sounding very worried and as if he was afraid Niall might snap any moment, which was really sad to think about, that the younger man was behaving in ways that made his own boyfriend think that he would lose it any moment. The truth was, Niall really didn’t feel many emotions right now. “What happened?”

Niall sighed at that, looking down at his lap, playing with his phone now in his hands, accidentally pushing the button to show his lockscreen. A picture of himself and Liam, from that date Niall had planned, after finally admitting the fact that he had had feelings for Liam all along as well. Maybe that was what gave him the push he had needed to open his mouth.

“So, that was my dad.” Niall told Liam slowly, continuing shortly after because he knew Liam was confused and he was just dragging it out for no reason. “He called because apparently he can’t find my mother.”

“Wait… wait?” Exactly Niall’s reaction as well. “Where did she go?”

“That’s the problem, he doesn’t know. She just took the dog and… never came back.” Seriously, Niall should have been concerned, and maybe he was a little bit, but more than anything, he was just… exhausted.

“What dog?” Liam asked, and Niall almost had to laugh that he had to focus on THIS right now.

“I don’t know, Liam. Apparently they replaced me with a dog or whatever. Well, anyways, so she’s been missing for like… how late is it? He said she left at 9 in the morning to walk the dog.” And now it was literally 6 in the evening. “And she left her phone, obviously, because he called me from hers.”

“Why?” Good question.

“He said he wasn’t sure if I would pick up the phone if he had called me because he’s got a new number or whatever and he never gave it to me.” Which also said a lot in itself, but Niall had no energy to think about that.

“So, wait… “ Liam seemed extremely concerned and confused about this whole situation, and Niall couldn’t blame him. Welcome to his family. Or what was left of it, anyways. “Your mother has been trying to call you for days now and all this time it was her but the one time you pick up it’s actually your dad telling you she, uh, ran away?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Perfect timing. “He probably blames me for it, he said they had a fight this morning and my name got thrown in the room and… now she’s gone. He’s been searching for her for hours.”

“Why didn’t he call the police?” Niall really wanted to laugh right now, as inappropriate as it was.

“He did. She’s an adult, she can do whatever she wants and they can’t know if maybe she’s run away from him on purpose. It’s not like she was abducted or anything. I hope. They will only get involved if it’s been over 24 hours or something.” Maybe more, Niall had already forgotten again.

“Okay… why did he call you? Does he think she did something to herself?” Now Liam sounded very afraid, so Niall made sure to look at him to let him know that there probably was nothing to worry about.

“He called me because he knows that one, I could help him look for her, and two, once she comes home or we happen to actually find her, she’s not gonna wanna pick another fight with him.” He was using Niall, because he knew how much she wanted to see him again and be a normal family. But it was too late for that. “She, uh… she’s done this before. Tons of times, when I was still a child, I was just surprised that she’s still doing it. But that’s why I’m not really freaking out. She does it to get people to do what she wants. I don’t even know if I believe my dad that she’s gone, maybe they plotted this, so I’d come home.”

The older man still looked worried, but now not anymore about his mother but rather Niall himself. Niall let him when he reached out for his hand, weakly squeezing back as he leaned his head against the back of the seat. “… How far away do your parents live again?”

“… Really?” Niall could almost not believe Liam asking this, and implying what he was implying, but then again… it was very Liam to do that. “An hour or something.”

Liam then didn’t say anything else, but Niall knew what he was thinking and what he just didn’t wanna say because he could probably sense the younger man’s reaction already.

“I’ve not seen them for three to four years. Or actually, pretty sure four by now.” Niall hadn’t exactly counted the days, because for what? He couldn’t even clearly remember the last time he had even been home. “Pretty sure if we do go she’s gonna magically have gotten home just in time. And then we’re gonna have to stay. And she’s gonna ask you a million questions, and eventually she’s gonna figure out I’m pregnant and then it’s over.”

“What’s over?” Liam asked, sounding as if he wanted to laugh at Niall being dramatic like this, but the younger man was actually being serious.

“My freedom, Liam. She’s gonna call 500 times a week, and possibly even convince my dad to move here. She’s gonna try to become best buddies with you so she can pull you on her side to see the baby and probably ask you for money at some point and then-“

“Niall.” Liam interrupted, and yeah, maybe Niall HAD been getting a bit into it, but it was all freaking him out to think about. “Do you really think that? She’s been calling a lot the last week, but before that, it seemed you weren’t really ever speaking except one time ever since I met you. And that it was mutual.”

“I don’t know what’s going on with her, they’re both… I don’t know. I know they wanted me gone when I left home, and how embarrassed they were that I never had stable jobs and no place to live, but… the last time we spoke I told her I got a job and my apartment. Maybe she changed her mind now, maybe suddenly I’ve got space in their lives. They’re probably hoping I gave up on music as well. And the worst part is they’re gonna be all like I just needed to grow out of it and get my life together just like they told me. They’re gonna think they were right all along, Li. And look at you, now I even got a good looking boyfriend and a baby on the way. Whatever happened in the past… now suddenly I’m _normal_ and living the life they wanted for me. There’s no way she’s gonna not care about our baby.” Niall knew his mother well enough, and from what he had heard just now, she had not changed a bit. 

“Okay, so we’re not going.” Liam then decided, but it sounded like a question, and now Niall had an inner conflict. 

Could he just NOT go after a call like this? They were still his parents. Not everything had been bad, just most of it. Then again, where had they been when he had been in trouble? To be fair, a lot of the time they had had no idea about it, but also, they hadn’t cared enough to ask. So naturally Niall had stopped answering calls, because why could his mother decide whenever she suddenly wanted him in her life again? They had let him go and move out without a care in the world, they had been happy about it even. And now suddenly, they wanted him back? AND probably get to be part of his baby’s life?

On the other hand… Niall wasn’t heartless. Not like he had long thought they were. Maybe still today.

“You decide what we do.” Niall decided in the end, still holding Liam’s hand but not really looking at him. He didn’t wanna make decisions anymore, he just wanted Liam to do it all for him.

“I can’t.” The older man told him, sounding a bit desperate, and Niall hated himself for being so difficult yet again, but he just couldn’t stop himself from it either.

“Please.” Niall begged him, not wanting to play the pregnant card, but now he kinda really wanted to. “Just… what do you think we should do? Assuming you’d come if we did go, because I can’t drive and-“

“Of course I’d come, that’s out of the question. Unless you wouldn’t want me to of course.” Liam interrupted immediately, almost sounding appalled that Niall had said that. “I don’t know what to think because I don’t know your parents, or what happened between you and them. I… I don’t wanna make it worse, if what you said is true, I… of course I wouldn’t mind getting to know your parents and them getting to see our baby grow up, they’re the grandparents. But I don’t wanna do this if it’s hurting you in the end.”

“So you think we should go?” Niall already knew the answer anyways. 

“Look, I… “ Liam took a breath then, holding Niall’s hand a bit tighter. “I know what it’s like, and how it makes you feel to not have your parents supporting you in anything you do. And I don’t know what really happened or what they did to you, I can just speak from my own experience and I… I know I said if my dad ever called, I probably wouldn’t even pick up the phone. But I… I probably would. And if he would apologize, I’d probably forgive him.”

“Liam… “ NOW Niall felt like complete rubbish as well and he looked at the older man, who was very quick to keep on talking.

“This isn’t about me though, and I can’t make the decision for you and I don’t wanna make you do anything. We should do whatever you think is best. For you, and nobody else. And not because you think you HAVE to do it because of what I said or whatever your parents do to try and get you to come home. It’s about you, Nialler, no one else.” Well, great.

They fell into a silence, because Niall needed some time to think, even though he kinda already knew what he was going to decide, and he truly hated himself for all of it. So fucking much, because he felt so bloody weak, like a child almost, running back home the moment his parents expressed that they wanted him there for whatever reason.

God damn it.

“We should probably go. I don’t wanna ruin our date n-“

“We’ll do it tomorrow, Ni. It’s whatever. I mean, it’s not, but it’s no big deal, we can do it any night. Also, we’ll spend an hour in the car together, that’s kinda like date night.” Liam joked, probably to lighten the mood and Niall laughed for a moment, but he actually wanted to cry right now. This was insane.

“Did you plan on fucking in the car?” Niall asked, it was kinda like a joke, but then again… 

“No, I- unless you wanted to do that.” Liam quickly corrected himself and Niall laughed, this time for real. “Maybe not tonight.”

“I don’t plan on staying there forever, we’re just trying to find her, if we don’t we’ll leave.” Well, depending on whether this situation was serious or not, Niall couldn’t decide. Then again, if it was serious, what was Niall supposed to do about it? Also… “… I’m still really hungry.”

“We’ll get some food and you can eat in the car.” Liam promised, and for a moment, Niall wanted to protest because he hated eating in Liam’s car in fear of getting it gross and dirty, but the older man always told him it was whatever because he could just go and get it cleaned again. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Anywhere is good.” Niall told him quickly before smiling at him, slowly pulling his hand out of Liam’s so he could instead reach across the seats, wrapping his arms around the older’s neck as he leaned in to kiss him, a bit longer than planned. “Thank you… for coming. And for buying me food.”

“You don’t need to say thank you, babe… “ Liam mumbled against his lips, rubbing Niall’s side as he kissed him again. 

“I love you.” The younger man made sure to tell him with as much sincerity as he could because there was nothing in the world he was more certain of than this.

“I love you too, Nialler...” Liam whispered before kissing the corner of his mouth, his nose and then his forehead, causing Niall’s stomach to turn all warm. “Do you want a milkshake as well?”

“You know me too well.” Niall told him with a grin when they pulled apart, and suddenly, this car journey didn’t seem all too bad anymore. 

Just where their destination. 

Liam got him way too much food as always while Niall texted his dad to tell him he would come and help him look, not telling him with who or how, beacause he didn’t really want his dad to know right now. He was 100% certain that if his mother turned up in the meantime, no one would let Niall know that she was safe because they wanted him to come.

On one hand, Niall knew his younger self would have been happy, finally getting the feeling that his parents maybe liked him or wanted him around, but too much time had passed since then. And he truly was not ready to let somebody back into his life after they had let him walk away as if it had been nothing at all.

Sure, Niall had made mistakes, he hadn’t been a poster child, and he knew a lot of it had had to with his brother’s death, but it was like… they were still his parents, and yeah, he WAS angry and hurt, had been for a really long time.

But now, sitting in the car and looking at his stomach and then at Liam while the older man was ordering food for him through the window, it gave Niall a bit of confidence back. Because no matter what, he knew he’d go home with Liam, and they’d continue their life and they would have this baby together and Niall would be fine.

\--------------------------------------

“Here, open up.” Niall had been feeding Liam fries and other food for a while now, eating slowly maybe because Liam had gotten him so much. He hadn’t wanted for it to run out though because it WAS an hour long drive and they really hadn’t eaten a lot today because they had planned on going out of course. “Do you want anything to drink as well?”

“I’m good, thanks, Nialler.” Liam was trying kinda hard to follow his navigation system’s orders while the younger man kept talking over it, but Liam just let him. He could tell Niall was nervous and was trying to distract himself, and Liam felt really bad for him even though he himself was nervous as well.

He had NO idea what to expect or what was about to happen, and he was afraid it would hurt Niall in the end or stress him out. But then again, Liam had felt for a while that Niall wanted to mend his relationship with his parents, but that the past was holding him back, and he would have probably carried this with him his entire life had he not picked up the phone tonight.

The fact that Niall’s mother had run away because of a fight with Niall’s father though, and that it had supposedly been about Niall… it all seemed very, VERY, fishy to Liam and he knew to Niall as well. This whole situation was just a bit crazy, but if it turned out that they were assholes to Niall, Liam was determined to one, step up for him, two, tell them his opinion and then three, get the hell out of there and never look back.

That was his boyfriend, he wasn’t going to let anybody make him feel bad, especially not his own parents.

“Just to warn you, my mom is probably gonna be crying once she finds out you’re my boyfriend. She’s gonna drag you into the house and ask you why you haven’t proposed yet because she always said I’d end up alone because I’ve been whoring around for money. Her words, not mine.” Niall kept talking casually, as if it was just random facts, and he was chewing in between while Liam started to feel worse and worse for him. “She’s also basically in love with Harry because he’s not me, so we can’t tell her about James or there is no keeping her away anymore. Maybe we shouldn’t even mention our baby.”

“I, um… I don’t know if we can keep it a secret.” To be fair, Niall wasn’t showing too much yet, and he usually wore clothes wide enough to cover his stomach completely like today, but his scent had definitely changed, and Liam just didn’t think there was a way to hide it. “But we can try.”

“I’ll decide spontaneously.” Niall decided, sounding a bit too happy right now, and Liam knew he was just trying to deal with his nerves acting up, so he let him. He really wished he could have taken this away and made the younger man feel better, but he knew there was no way.

If he imagined it the other way around… he would have been going crazy. But the situation was very different as well.

Forty or more minutes passed of them just talking about random things, baby names and plans for the baby room, and Niall kept flicking through the channels on the radio, actually leaving some leftovers of the food because he got full. Liam had a lot of questions about Niall’s parents, but he decided not to ask them, because he knew the other man really did not wanna talk about them right now.

There was one other thing though, and Liam truly had to build up his confidence for like 10 minutes to ask. Not because he was scared to ask, just because he suddenly wasn’t sure anymore whether he wanted to know the answer. There was some silence though, for just a couple seconds, and Liam kinda wasn’t thinking.

“What did you wanna say before your dad called? Something about Zayn telling you something.” Liam blurted out, immediately feeling his stomach twisting a bit, because what could Zayn have possibly said that had gotten Niall upset? It had been noticeable all day that something had been on Niall’s mind, and Liam had thought he just hadn’t been feeling too well because it wasn’t out of the norm lately.

“Oh, that… “ The younger man started, clearing his throat a bit, suddenly reaching down to sip on that milkshake again he had never finished. “Maybe… maybe we should wait until we’re back home to talk about that.”

“Why? Is it that bad?” Liam tried to make it sound like a joke, but his throat suddenly got tight.

“No, no, not at all. I just… it’s not even that important. It’s nothing. We’re just almost there.” Niall was actually right, they had like 10 minutes left and if this was serious then Liam also didn’t wanna start a discussion now and have it be interrupted. “It’s really nothing, I promise. I’ll tell you later.”

“Okay.” Liam gave in quickly, mostly because he didn’t wanna work Niall up even more. Not when they were almost there. “Did your dad text you?”

“No, but that doesn’t mean anything. Maybe they really instigated this whole thing so I’d come, who even knows. He just wrote _okay_ when I told him I’d come and help him look. Very emotional.” He let out a laugh, only to drink his milkshake even faster.

Somehow, Liam didn’t have a good feeling about any of this anymore but he couldn’t say it.

Niall’s parents lived in a smaller city, but also not small enough as to where people living here would have known each other that well. Or maybe they did, Liam had no idea. He was definitely curious to see where Niall had grown up because he had never been here, but seeing as his childhood was mostly filled with bad memories, Liam didn’t know if he should have even been curious about it anyways.

The younger man commented a couple buildings as they were driving past, telling him where he had played his gigs, that one of his old mates had lived in one of the houses, some restaurant he had worked at and another shop that was now selling completely different things according to Niall. It was definitely interesting, but it also didn’t make Liam feel all that great.

If he hadn’t hired Niall in the end, what would have happened?

“If you see some strange woman on the side of the street with probably an equally strange looking dog possibly wearing an outfit, that’s my mom.” Niall told him as Liam was driving through the city, taking a bit of a longer way to the address Niall had told him because they had decided to just use the time and look for his mother, now that they were already here. “Or maybe she changed, I’ve not seen her for four years. Maybe she’s normal now.”

“Maybe.” Liam didn’t know what else to say, and Niall was in a really weird, talkative mood, one he always got in when he was nervous.

They drove around the city for like fifteen minutes before Niall told Liam to just go to his house and get it over with. There still was no new text on Niall’s phone when he made Liam park the car on the wrong side of the street, three houses away, making him stop the engine on an instant. 

“We are going to the house, right?” Liam checked, just to make sure, because this seemed more like they were just stalking his parents. Or his dad, more like.

“Yeah, yeah, I just need a second. And I wanna see if they’re both in there and if they lied to me. See, my dad’s car is in the driveway. Can’t believe he’s still driving it, I crashed it like three times.” Niall was looking out of the window as if he would pull out some binoculars next to try and get a better look and it would have been comical had Liam not known why he was doing it. “Maybe I should call him and see what he has to say.”

“We could also just go and ring the doorbell.” Liam suggested because they were already here, and they’d have to go there anyways. But he also understood the younger man’s hesitation. “Nialler.”

“Hm?” Niall made, turning around when Liam didn’t continue and the older man unbuckled his seat belt so he had more room to move as he reached out for Niall, watching his cheek turning a bit pinker when he brushed his fingers over his skin and through his hair. 

“It’ll be fine. I’m here. I won’t let them say or do anything bad to you. We can simply walk away at any point, you don’t owe them an explanation. They can count themselves lucky you even decided to come here after everything.” Liam truly meant it, because he himself wasn’t sure if he’d be able to contain himself in front of Niall’s parents after knowing what they had done.

“I know, it’s just… I don’t know what to expect. Maybe she’s really missing.” Niall sounded nervous again as he held onto Liam’s hand still against his face, keeping it there. “Maybe we should drive home.”

“We can, if you want to.” Liam didn’t think it was a good idea, but of course he would have done it.

They waited a couple moments before Niall sighed, turning his head so he could kiss Liam’s palm before slowly letting go of him. “We can’t… let’s just get it over with.”

Niall started to get out of the car a lot quicker than Liam would have thought so he made sure to follow, the younger man immediately walking around the car to come and hold Liam’s hand, almost pressing himself into his side while squishing his fingers. 

“I don’t know if we should be holding hands.” Niall told him while he was literally holding onto Liam’s hand for dear life.

“We don’t have to.” But Liam also wouldn’t just let go if Niall didn’t.

“… well, we’re still a few meters away.” The younger man decided in the end, curling his free hand around Liam’s inner elbow and Liam felt even worse for him with every step they made as they came closer to the house. 

It wasn’t very big, the windows were dark but it was also completely light outside still because it was summer, so that really didn’t say much. Niall’s hand had gotten really sweaty in Liam’s, and Liam stole one more kiss before the younger man really did pull his hand away, looking more than just stressed out as they walked up the very small pathway.

Liam stayed a step behind, not quite sure what to do when Niall just stood there in front of the door, not moving, but then eventually, he took that one last step to ring the doorbell, immediately stepping back after.

It felt a bit surreal to Liam to be standing here right now because it had come so out of nowhere, but he was sure it must have felt even stranger to Niall to be in front of his childhood home that he had left so many years ago and had possibly never returned to since. 

The younger man was fixing his clothes as they waited, standing kind of apart but not really and Liam decided to just see if Niall would even bring out a word before jumping in to try and save him. Liam wasn’t scared to talk to Niall’s parents of course, he was just scared because he was afraid the younger man would get upset or hurt.

They waited, and waited, almost thinking no one was home, but then all of a sudden, the door opened, and a man was standing there, staring at them. For a second, Liam wasn’t even sure if it was Niall’s father because he didn’t say a word and neither did Niall, but then all of a sudden, his face turned to pure shock.

“Niall! I didn’t think you were gonna come, and this quickly, I- you look so different.” Right, he hadn’t seen his own son in maybe over four years, and Niall was only 25, 26 soon, he had probably changed a lot in that time. 

“You too.” Was all Niall said, and then he cleared his throat, his voice sounding a bit hard. “So, did you find mom?”

“Yes, actually, but literally only 10 minutes ago, she’s with one of her friends… I was just about to tell you.” It sounded like a lie, but then again, Niall’s mother seemed to not be here, so there was that. “I’m going to tell her you’re here, she’s gonna be so excited.”

“You didn’t tell her?” Niall asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest and Liam kept having these weird moments of eye contact with Niall’s father who was probably wondering who the hell he was. 

“No, I didn’t know if you would come. Or when… do you have a car?” He then asked, looking back at Liam, and then back to Niall.

“No. Liam drove me.” Niall told him briefly, pointing at Liam with his thumb and now the older man decided to say something as well.

“Nice to meet you.” He looked at Niall’s father, taking a step forward to shake his hand. He didn’t want to be rude, not yet.

“Nice to meet you too… are you a friend of Niall?” He asked, the confusion written across his face. 

Liam was about to say yes, because he wasn’t sure if Niall wanted to tell the truth, but the younger man answered for him instead. “He’s my boyfriend.”

“Oh, I… I had no idea. That’s great.” He did sound enthusiastic, but also quite speechless. Understandable, he hadn’t seen Niall in so long, and not only did he look different, he also had a completely different life now. “Your mother will be over the moon, I’m gonna call the friend she’s with… do you- do you wanna come inside?”

Liam could see Niall tensing up, so he put a hand onto his back and the younger man nodded eventually, slowly walking up into the house as Niall’s father made space for them while holding the phone to his ear.

“Yes, can you give me Maura, I- what do you mean, she doesn’t wanna talk to me?” Didn’t sound like a nice conversation, maybe he hadn’t lied about his wife running away after all.

Niall’s father gave them some kinda sign as he walked off into the other room, and Liam decided not to listen to the rest of the conversation as they slipped off their shoes, Niall very hesitantly.

“It feels so weird being here.” He whispered to Liam, slowly closing the front door, his eyes scanning the hallway and everything he could see. “Nothing changed.”

“Nothing?” Liam asked, following his boyfriend as he went to look at some picture on the wall and Niall reached back to intertwine their fingers again. Somewhere in the back of the house, Niall’s father was still arguing on the phone. 

“This did…” Niall told him, nodding at the picture. Liam hadn’t really looked at it that closely, he had assumed it was just a simple framed picture, or a newspaper page more like, but upon looking closer and to where Niall was pointing at, he suddenly realized it was an article about some gig Niall had played.

“You made it into the newspaper?” Liam didn’t wanna sound surprised and make Niall think he didn’t think he could do that, he simply had not known.

“Yeah, this one time, but only because I played at the opening night of this restaurant. But that was only because I worked for that chain anyways and they wanted to save money by hiring me and they never ended up paying me anything for it and in the end I was fired from my job as a waiter, but- yeah.” He shrugged a bit, his eyes still stuck on the article, and Liam could barely see Niall in that picture, but he could tell it was him. Only a few years younger, probably. “I just don’t get why’d they put this up.”

“Why not?” It made Liam happy, that at least Niall’s parents did seem to care about him, that maybe they would be able to fix this. Somehow.

“They never cared for my music… and this was when I was 20, so… that’s just weird.” Niall said it in a weird voice as well and Liam squeezed his hand, lightly kissing the side of his head just when Niall’s father came back.

“She’s gonna be here in a few minutes. Her friend lives just down the street.” He said it very excitedly, as if it was the best news ever or something. Maybe it was to him. “She’s so excited you’re here, Niall. So am I.”

“Why did she just run off?” Niall ignored whatever he had said, immediately ruining his father’s mood as it seemed. This time, Niall didn’t let go of Liam’s hand. 

“Ah you know your mother, she’s not changed… “ He let out a very forced laugh at that and Liam felt a bit uncomfortable for a few moments. “No, uh… we’ve had a bit of a fight. She might have mentioned you not answering the phone a few times and I might have told her I can’t blame you for it, so, um… that didn’t work out so well. Not saying that I… that I’ve done it better of course.”

There was silence, and Liam felt a bit as if Niall’s father was trying really hard now to get onto Niall’s good side by saying what he had. His eyes would momentarily flicker down to their intertwined hands, and when no one said anything, he suddenly clapped his hands together out of nowhere.

“I’ll get you something to drink.” He then disappeared again, right when Niall had opened his mouth, probably to tell him he didn’t want anything.

“I’m literally gonna piss myself.” Niall half whispered to Liam when they were alone again. “I’ve drank like 2 litres in the car and the baby is right on my bladder.”

“Please go to the bathroom.” Liam told him immediately, seeing the look on Niall’s face and he needed a moment to get it. “I’ll be fine, I’ll just talk to him for a moment.”

Niall then let out a sigh, looking apologetic before he pulled Liam with him to the kitchen where his father was. “I need the bathroom for a second. Is it still where it was?”

“I- of course.” His father seemed very surprised, and Niall just nodded, throwing another look at Liam before walking off, leaving Liam alone with his dad.

“So… here’s your glass of water.” He kinda handed it to him rather awkwardly, and Liam thanked him, taking a sip because he wasn’t thirsty at all if he was being honest, setting the glass down on the counter afterwards because they were just standing here in the middle of the room. “How, uh, how did you and Niall meet?”

“At work.” Liam told him, careful not to reveal any details. “A couple months ago now.”

“That’s really nice, um… “ He cleared his throat, again, and then he seemed to just give up on trying to uphold this image he had been trying to portray. “I mean, you probably know that Niall’s mother and I don’t have the best relationship with Niall… so this must all be quite strange to you as well.”

“Not as strange as I thought.” Liam joked, and at least that got Niall’s father to smile for a moment. It was uncomfortable enough as it was to be here right now. “No, but, um… we talked a bit about that, yeah.”

“Of course.” He nodded a bit, looking away, and then seemingly deciding to quickly switch the topic. “So, where do you work? You work with Niall still?”

“Yes, we work at a publishing label.” Liam told him, hoping it was okay to tell the truth on this one if he wasn’t saying anything else. “I really enjoy it and I know so does Niall. We’re all very happy that he decided to apply.”

“I’m glad he’s got a good and stable job… and nice colleagues.” Okay, now this was weird, but whatever, Liam just decided to take it. “Do you… do you live together?”

For a moment there, Liam didn’t really know what to say, because honestly… he didn’t even bloody know himself. So he decided to say what he thought Niall would want him to say, without actually lying. “We’ve both got our own places.”

“I-“

Luckily Niall’s father was interrupted by Niall coming back, looking a lot calmer now and Liam wondered if part of why he had been so nervous had been because he had had to pee so badly. Niall came straight over to Liam, not touching him again, but standing very close next to him. Liam tried not to look at his stomach, but Niall’s clothes had shifted a bit and it slightly showed off his stomach, but the younger man’s father didn’t seem to be looking anyways.

In fact, before he could do much more than give Niall a glass of water as well, they all heard the front door open and Niall grabbed onto Liam’s arm probably out of reflex. His mother was home, and with her, a medium sized, barking dog.

“I swear, if this was a lie to get me to come home- oh.”

Niall’s mother looked very different than Liam had imagined her, although now Liam could see that he had something from both of them look-wise. He would be careful not to tell Niall that.

There was a moment of silence, except the dog barking, but he very quickly calmed down and came over instead, his tail wagging as he jumped up on Liam’s leg and Liam petted him absently, a bit distracted when Niall’s mother suddenly started crying as she came over.

“My boy.” She was literally bawling as she pulled Niall into a hug that seemed bone crushingly tight, and Liam could SEE Niall tensing up, could see how hesitant he was to just pat a hand on her back, not really hugging her back. “You look so different, I almost can’t recognize you.”

When they had pulled apart, she still had her hands on him, but Niall slowly stepped back as she talked and Liam put a hand on his back, hoping that it was of some sort of comfort to him. His voice was very thin when he did speak, a bit distant as well. “Hi, mom.”

“And who are you?” She turned to Liam, still in tears. “My husband said on the phone you’re Niall’s boyfriend.”

“Yeah, I’m Liam. Nice to meet you.” He shook her hand as well, a bit worried she might hug him too when she held on too long. WAY too long, or at least it felt like it.

“Please, call me Maura. This is just wonderful, you make such a nice couple.” Okay, now this was really getting stranger and stranger, all with this dog looking for attention and Liam’s father just standing there in the middle of the kitchen, clearly not knowing what to do or say. “Are you hungry or anything? I also just made a cake yesterday.”

“Um, I’m, good, thanks.” Niall told her immediately, stepping more into Liam, who slowly fully wrapped his arm around the younger man’s waist.

“Me too, thank you.” Liam made sure to at least smile at her, hoping to somehow break the tension. “What’s the dog’s name?”

“Oh, that’s Stella, we’ve had her for 3 years now, sorry if she’s been bothering you.” She then scolded the dog, who completely ignored her and instead went to drink out of her water bowl. “Why don’t we sit down? We’ve not talked in so long. Niall, you didn’t mention you had a boyfriend the last time we spoke on the phone.”

“Umm… well, I didn’t have one then.” Niall told her, and Liam almost laughed, but he kept it together.

They didn’t take their glasses as they followed her in the living room to go and sit down, but Niall’s father collected them for them anyways. Liam could tell Niall didn’t wanna do this as they sat on the couch, and he made sure to be next to Liam only and the armrest, as far away from his mother as possible. His father sat in an armchair, kinda looking as if he wasn’t even part of the conversation anymore. He kinda wasn’t, to be honest.

“So, how did you meet? Where do you work? How are Harry and Louis? And the girls? Do you have any pictures of them? They must be so big now.” Well, and there it all went.

Niall spoke in short sentences, and very reluctantly, only telling her the most basic things and claiming he had no pictures of anybody at all, but his mother was already talking again anyways, so she had probably forgotten about having asked anyways. It didn’t feel like a visit at someone’s parents’ house, more like some very distant relatives. Also, it was super awkward that Niall’s mother was ignoring the elephant in the room and was acting as if her son had come home out of his free will, as if everything was forgiven and forgotten.

Maybe it was in her mind.

Liam barely said anything during that, the dog had come to sit by his feet so he was petting it, his free hand on Niall’s knee to maybe calm him a little bit. He had to admit, this whole situation really was not comfortable in any way. 

“And how is your music going? Are you still playing?” Maura asked out of nowhere, as if she had always liked Niall’s music or something.

“I play gigs here and there.” Niall shrugged and Liam wished he could have somehow saved him from this situation, he just didn’t know how. 

“See, I always thought it was a great hobby. But it’s nice to have a stable job as well, isn’t it?” The way she said it with that smile, Liam just KNEW it would set Niall off before anybody else. She had said the worst possible thing, and in such a short amount of time as well, almost as if she had had it planned.

“I’ve had tons of stable jobs.” Niall told her, his voice having gotten a lot harder all of a sudden.

“I’m just saying, one that pays well and that you’ve had over a couple of months, like, a normal schedule and everything.” She still sounded so excited about it, as if she was trying to tell a child how amazing their new toy was.

“I’ve had jobs that pay well with whatever a normal schedule is for years.” Niall half snapped, and now at least she stopped smiling. “You wouldn’t know what I did or didn’t do the past few years so don’t patronize me now.”

“I would know about these things if you had answered your phone.” She gave back, still in a really nice, but rather condescending voice. “Look, Niall, I don’t want to fight anymore. I’m tired of it, I just… me and your father just want a normal relationship with you. I’ve been trying for years, but if you ever do answer the phone, you always end the call quicker than I can say much besides asking how you are.”

“And why do you think that is?” Niall asked her bluntly, and she closed her mouth for a moment while Liam started to feel rather uncomfortable again. He wanted to say something, but he felt like Niall was doing a pretty good job at defending himself. “Exactly. Don’t pretend like I willingly came, I only came because dad called me and told me you ran away and have been missing since this morning. It’s embarrassing that this is how you meet Liam. I never even wanted for him to meet you in the first place, and now this.”

While Niall had been talking, his father’s face had gotten sadder, and his mother’s face had gotten angrier, so Liam honestly was not surprised when she said what she said next. He was still shocked though. “Well, now you know how embarrassing it is for us whenever somebody asks about you and I have to tell them you’re probably working another sketchy job or playing your guitar on the streets.”

There was silence, in which she probably realized she had gone too far, but there was no going back now as Niall simply stood up. “Let’s go, Li.”

Liam got up immediately as well of course, but so did Niall’s mother. “So you’re just gonna leave again, even though you KNOW I’m right? Niall, we always wanted what’s best for you, don’t make us look like these awful parents in front of your boyfriend. Because seriously, Liam, I don’t know what he’s told you, but neither of you can tell me you would let your own children drop out of school to pursue a music career that never takes off, only to work 20 different jobs the following years and live in apartments with 5 other people. Not to say some of your jobs involved having sex with strangers and probably had to do with drugs, just like your brother-“

“I think that’s enough.” Liam decided to step in, because this was really getting out of hand and what if Niall hadn’t told him what he done in the past? He would have heard it right now for the first time.

“You’re right, mom.” Niall told her, his voice now ice cold while he was completely ignoring Liam. “I won’t let my child do that, because me and Liam are actually gonna be there for our children and support them and talk things out instead of turning our backs on them. Or letting them walk out on us at 18 and trying nothing more than a handful of phone calls and pointing the finger at _them_. And because I bloody know how much it sucks having to do all these things and knowing there’s nobody there to go to for help if things get really bad.” 

“Just wait until you have your own kids and they come to you with all these crazy dreams, not wanting to go to school or doing their homework, I promise you, you WILL think back and realize we really only wanted what’s best for you. You didn’t want our help, you wanted nothing to do with us even when you were still in school, you didn’t come home for nights in a row, we had no idea where you were. It was awful, Niall.” Was she going to start crying? It looked quite like it. 

“Now you know how dad felt today when you ran away like a teen. Just like you used to when something didn’t go your way.” Niall straight out told her, as if he was amused. “Why’d I want anything to do with parents who I know didn’t want me? You were completely unavailable, ever since Greg died, you just checked out and it was like you forgot you even had a second child.”

“That’s NOT true, and you know it. You were a very difficult child, Niall, and as I said, just wait until you have your own kids and you will see how-“

“Right, I’ll let you know in 4 or 5 months then. Me and Liam have to go.” He really just said it, shocking Liam maybe as much as his parents when he grabbed a hold of his hand, trying to make him leave, but of course they were stopped again.

“You’re _pregnant?!_ ” It was his father who asked, his mother had just put a hand over her mouth and it was impossible to tell if they were happy or not. 

“Yeah. And you’re lucky, because you won’t have to deal with another child probably just as _difficult_ as me because you won’t get so see it. Bye.” And with that, Niall finally did pull Liam out of the kitchen.

“Niall, you can’t do this! Let’s sit down and talk it out again, if you’re really having a baby then we’re so happy for you. And Liam. Please, Niall.” It was Niall’s father this time who tried to make him stay, and Liam started to think that maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy.

“What? Just because I’m having a baby that you wanna see we need to talk it out now? No, thanks.” They were already putting their shoes back on, and Liam really felt like he should have said something too, but Niall was just really good at handling himself.

“Niall-“

“I don’t wanna hear it anymore.” Niall cut him off, opening the door, but he did throw one last look at his dad, his mother behind him with a tear stained face. “You can call me, dad, but I won’t talk to her.”

Niall actually half threw the front door shut once they had left, still completely tense and mad as they walked back to the car, hand in hand, but before Liam had even found his keys, the younger man had already started crying. 

“Nialler… c’mere.“ Liam stopped immediately, pulling his hand out of Niall’s to pull him into a tight hug instead and the younger man almost melted against him. “Shh, it’s going to be okay… I’m sorry I didn’t say much… I really didn’t know when or-“

“There was nothing for you to say… “ Niall whispered into his shoulder before letting out a sob and Liam held on tighter, pressing his face against the younger man’s head. “I wouldn’t h-have even w-wanted for y-you t-to get involved… ‘m j-just g-glad you’re h-here… “

“Me too… “ Even if Liam hadn’t been the biggest help.

They were far enough from the house now, but no one had come after them anyways, and Liam wasn’t sure if he was happy about that or not. He just knew it really hurt having Niall bawling in his arms while clinging to him, not being able to take his pain away or make it undone. Worse, Liam had kinda encouraged them to come here in the first place, and now this.

Who could have known though, that his mother would say all this crap to his face? After all those years? She should have honestly just been happy that Niall had decided to come at all, and even for her.

It seemed to take ages until Niall had calmed down and stopped shaking in Liam’s arms, the older man just having made sure to hold him, occasionally whispering sweet nothings into his ear, anything at all to desperately try to make him feel better. It was doubtful whether he succeeded, or whether Niall simply calmed down himself. Most likely the second.

“Can we just go home?” Niall asked, his voice numbed by Liam’s shirt and the older man immediately agreed, only hesitantly letting go when the younger man did the same.

His face was wet and red when Liam reached out, cupping it in both his palms as he gently wiped his thumbs across the younger man’s cheeks before kissing his forehead, lingering for a bit longer. “I’m sorry I thought we should come here… “

“It’s not your fault… I should have known better. Now I do, so… maybe it was good for something.” Niall shrugged, leaning into the older man’s palm, his smile looking very forced, but he was obviously trying his hardest. “It’s not that late, we can still watch a movie or something when we get home.”

“’course, baby, anything you want.” Liam promised immediately, lightly kissing Niall on the lips, but not really surprised when Niall deepened the kiss almost on an instant. It was very desperate as he clung to Liam, but the older man kissed back the same because he knew Niall needed the distraction.

It was a very quiet drive back home, Niall was mostly looking out of the window whenever Liam randomly checked, holding his hand whenever he didn’t need to use both of his, and Niall just kept his positioned on his knee for Liam to take again after being forced to pull away. 

Niall did get a text from his dad, but it barely had any content and the younger man ended up never answering it for which Liam couldn’t blame him at all.

If he had wanted to answer it, Liam might have even tried to talk him out of it.

\----------------------------------

“How are you feeling?” Liam had asked a couple times now ever since they had gotten home, but Niall still really didn’t have an answer for it.

He wasn’t feeling bad right now, pretty sure he couldn’t have possibly felt bad though. They were lying in the bathtub, because why the hell not if it was that huge, and Niall was basically on top of Liam between his legs, leaning his head back against his shoulder and just keeping his eyes closed. It felt good to be this close to him, having him rub his stomach, but also because the warm water definitely worked wonders whenever Niall was feeling tense lately.

And especially after everything that had just happened. How stupid had Niall been to think anything had changed? To actually go there hoping they could work this out? They’d never work it out. Maybe he’d manage to talk to his dad once a while, but not his mother. She’d never just be happy with the way Niall was, she’d always have to try and tell him she had known so much better than him all along and that he had just been a terrible child.

Maybe he had been, but she was still his mother after all. There was no scenario in this world where Niall could imagine turning his back on this baby still inside his stomach. Literally, none.

“’m okay… “ Niall told Liam quietly, and it was kinda the truth. At least in this very moment. “At least I won’t have to feel guilty for not going, I mean… I did my best, right? I went there. I did the first step. And she just… messed it up.”

“She really did… “ Liam agreed immediately, pressing his lips against Niall’s head, his hands slowly moving across the younger man’s skin underneath the water. Whenever he brushed Niall’s nipples, it definitely did not go unnoticed, but Niall felt no urgency right now to take this further. He kinda just wanted to keep on lying here like this forever. “She didn’t even deserve your concern, to be honest… what she said was awful.” 

They fell into a silence again, and Niall could have fallen asleep if he hadn’t been trying to stay awake. Maybe he should have just given in, but then right before he was about to, he felt the baby move, and he didn’t even think before grabbing a hold of Liam’s hand still on his belly, pressing it right on the spot in hopes he could feel it too.

“Did you feel that?” Niall asked excitedly, because he knew it was a bit early for anyone but himself to feel the baby from the outside, but he really just wanted Liam to feel it too.

“I… I think I did, yeah. That’s… crazy.” Liam sounded absolutely mind blown and Niall sat up a bit, turning to grin at him and just to see his surprised face. “Does it always feel like that?”

“It feels a bit more intense now, usually it was always just a flutter. Really cool, huh?” Niall smiled, kissing Liam’s cheek because he was just so cute when he was so happy about something the baby did. “I can barely believe that there’s a real baby inside of me, it’s like… I know we see pictures of it all the time and my stomach is growing, but whenever it moves, it’s like… it’s actually real. It’s really in there and it can probably hear us and maybe even feel it when you or I touch my belly.”

“It really does feel surreal… “ Liam mumbled before leaning his forehead against Niall’s temple. “I think we’re gonna make great parents.”

“I hope so.” Niall told him, but the longer he thought about it, the more confident did he become in this as well.

When Liam pulled back again, his face was really soft and Niall just couldn’t stop himself from kissing him, slipping his tongue past the older man’s lips as he relaxed his jaw, allowing him to deepen it. They didn’t go very far with this, just a bit of snogging, and then Niall felt content again just lying against Liam in the water, ignoring the fact that the world was still turning.

A couple minutes passed, Liam was still absently rubbing Niall’s stomach, but when he spoke up again, he sounded very different. “Ni… “

“Hm?” Niall made, already half asleep again, but that didn’t last very long.

“You know… we don’t have to talk about this now, I just… “ He really didn’t have to say much more, Niall’s eyes were already open again, his heart bumping faster than it should have right now. “It’s just… what you said, about something Zayn told you and I… I know you said it’s nothing, but… maybe we should talk about it?”

It definitely was not nothing, it had taken Niall by surprise and now he wished he would have never mentioned it to Liam, because he didn’t wanna destroy the older man’s trust in Zayn, it’s just… there was more to the story than just Zayn mentioning this to him.

“If I tell you… please don’t be mad at Zayn. He genuinely thought I already knew.” Niall told Liam quietly, staying with his head on the older man’s shoulder, having to give himself a little push before he actually said it. “He, uh… he told me you’ve published a couple books under your label, with fake names. That’s all. Like… he genuinely thought you had told me, and he said you might be wanting to step down from the firm one day and just focus on writing and I was just really surprised because I had no idea.”

“Oh.” Liam made, and Niall had no idea if it was good or bad but he didn’t turn around, didn’t wanna put more pressure on Liam. “I’m sorry I never told you about that, I… I’ve not written for a while after we met and now… I barely have time and… but it’s true. What he said. I did at some point just wanna focus on writing, but I just… never did.”

“Why are you publishing them under a fake name?” Niall kinda knew the answer, because Zayn had told him, but then again, he could have been wrong. Plus, he was actually asking for a completely different reason.

“I, uh, didn’t want anyone to be able to trace it back to me or… or my family, most of all. It is fiction, but, um… maybe it’s not. I mean… I definitely took inspiration from my own life and… it was a bit like therapy sometimes. Writing it all down, you know… “ He cleared his throat then, and Niall’s suddenly felt really tight. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It’s okay, Li, I was just wondering… “ And also, Niall had to say something else that he really did NOT want to say right now. “I, uh… it’s just weird that Zayn mentioned this to me and… you know, a while ago… I thought that, um, that I should probably start reading some of the books under your label if I work there and I downloaded an ebook and… I mean there were similarities to things you’ve told me about your past, I just… didn’t connect the dots, but… it might be yours.”

“Oh.” Liam made, and just by the sound of his voice, Niall knew he was right. Because if he WAS right, then Liam’s issues with his father were a much bigger deal than Liam had let on and by the way Liam was tensing up, Niall kinda had his confirmation.

“Li… “ Niall started, sitting sideways now so they could look at each other, the older man’s face having gotten red as Niall reached out to touch his cheek with his wet hand. “I won’t continue reading it if you don’t want me to. I’m only halfway through.”

“That’s already bad enough.” Liam let out a breathless laugh and Niall felt really guilty. “It’s, uh, it’s up to you. The books are out there, so… I mean, it’s not ALL real, just… just most of it.”

They stared at each other for a second, and then Niall just HAD to ask because it had been eating him alive ever since Zayn had told him about the books in the first place. “Did he… did he really… do those things to you? Like… hitting you and locking you up and… and everything?”

“I mean… yeah.” Liam told him eventually, looking down now, and Niall only had to stare at him for a single second before his tears were spilling over as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.

“I’m so sorry, Li… I had no idea it was like this… “ He had known Liam’s father had been a nightmare to grow up with, but Niall hadn’t known he had abused Liam mentally as well as physically and now he was terrified of the rest of this book, but at the same time… this was his boyfriend, he kinda wanted to know. He needed to know.

“You don’t have to apologize, babe… it was a long time ago. It will never happen again.” The older man hugged back tightly, pressing his lips against Niall’s shoulder, his breath warm against Niall’s skin as he talked. “We’ve both had tough luck with our families, but we’ve got our own now, right? We’re gonna be okay. I just need you and this baby, and everything will be alright. It’s like… a second chance.”

“Yeah… or an apology from the universe.” Niall laughed for a second, but then it got stuck in his throat immediately.

There really was nothing more to say than this because it was just beyond sad, but if anything, at least this day had gotten them even closer once more, and shown Niall again that he had made the right decisions that had led him here to this very moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost on time :D 
> 
> ive had the first day of my internship today (somehow it seems i attract the weirdest internships rip) so im just super happy i managed to do this on time haha! i also passed all of my exams, sooo things are going okay! i hope you guys liked the chapter, as promised to some of you, no drama between niall and liam :D i kinda wanna do something big for the next chapter, i just dont know what yet! maybe it will come to me while pointlessly staring at a computer screen for 8 hours tomorrow and the next 3 weeks :)
> 
> hope you guys are enjoying your summer! or winter of course! have a good week <3


	21. Chapter 21

“Hi… what’re you doing?“ Liam was still feeling a bit weak from his work out even though he had actually taken it somewhat easy. It really showed though that Zayn had definitely not taken as long as a break from the gym as Liam had. 

“Nothing, just reading… how was it?” Niall was lying in bed and Liam watched him putting the book on the bedside table, the cover only too familiar to him.

He had ended up giving Niall an actual copy of the book he had written, so the younger man wouldn’t have to continue reading it on his phone as an e-book. Liam still wasn’t sure if he wanted Niall to read his books and uncover all these things from his past, but then again, who was he to tell him no? Maybe it was better this way, at least now Liam wouldn’t have to say them out loud.

“Alright. For Zayn it was probably a walk in the park though.” Liam let out a laugh, running his fingers through his hair that was still a bit damp from the shower he had taken at the gym as he walked over to the bed when the younger man opened his arms. 

He was exactly where Liam had left him two hours ago, only then he had been on his laptop doing something for work even though Liam had told him not to, that they could always finish tomorrow. Or just send it to someone else to finish it because it seemed people were suddenly a lot more motivated ever since Liam met with them regularly. 

Of course that also meant that the employees were getting braver and seeing as Niall and Liam spent quite a lot of time together and had basically stopped caring about who saw them leaving and arriving together in combination with Niall’s obvious pregnant belly… it had raised questions at multiple occasions. Usually Liam very easily dodged them by reminding everyone that they were in a professional setting, but he was aware that the rumor mill wasn’t exactly quiet.

Then again, who the hell even cared? They were literally dating.

“He’s probably got a lot more time to work out during the week.” Niall was trying to make him feel better and Liam smiled as he crawled across the bed, dropping a kiss on Niall’s stomach over his shirt before kissing him on the lips, lingering a bit longer before lying down with him.

“He probably makes less excuses for himself, too.” Liam joked although it was probably true. Then again, it’s not like Liam cared that much in the end, he still felt a lot better now that it was over and he had forced himself to go. 

Niall had wrapped his arms around Liam immediately as soon as he had kissed him, turning towards him as Liam put one of his legs above Niall’s as a joke, but then he stayed that way because it felt really nice to be this close. 

Liam had one arm underneath Niall’s head and their faces were so close now that he felt the younger man’s breath against his skin. “You look just the way you did when I met you, so you really don’t need to work out that much anyways… and I’m glad you’re here to spend time with me instead.”

“I would have stayed tonight as well if y-“

“No, that’s not what I meant. You can go work out whenever you want, I don’t mind it. I’m just saying, if you don’t wanna go that’s fine too.” He shrugged a bit, closing the gap between their lips again and Liam closed his eyes, holding Niall a bit tighter as they kissed, soft and slow. Right, this is what Liam had been looking forward to the entire time at the gym. “How’s Zayn?”

“Good… he’s still not used to all the free time since he’s switched jobs.” It was kinda like a joke, but also not really, because it did make Liam feel quite weird. He had known how many more hours Zayn had worked at his firm than he would have had to, and of course he had been paid for all of it, but it still made Liam question a couple things at the same time. “It made me think… “

“About what?” Niall asked, they were still kissing occasionally between talking so Liam kept his eyes closed for now, rubbing his hand up and down Niall’s arm. 

“That we work too much...” He knew Niall didn’t wanna hear Liam suggesting he could just cut down to working only 3 days a week, so Liam had included himself, but he still couldn’t help adding something. “… you especially.”

“Li, I’m fine. I’m only 22 weeks, there’s nothing wrong with me except that my belly is sometimes getting in the way more than I’m used to.” It was true, Niall’s stomach had definitely grown a lot during the past two weeks, but Liam had to admit he really loved it.

Seeing Niall pregnant with their baby, it was like… it was absolutely everything.

“I know, it’s not that I’m worried you or the baby will get hurt or anything, I was just thinking that, you know, we really don’t have to work so many hours. We could do other things, like… learn how to cook like you wanted to. We could even take more time and go on another trip before it’s unsafe.” No idea where this sudden urge was coming from to spend more time with Niall when they were spending 24 hours a day together already, but Liam just couldn’t help it.

“Hmm… we could do that. But we could also get a lot more done after work, we just never do.” Fair enough. They did go on dates and things like that, lately they had also been out shopping for the baby and the room and whatnot, but none of the things that took actual time, like learning how to cook for example. Which… wasn’t necessary, but Liam agreed that after having a child, they needed to stop getting take out. “I don’t know how people do it… imagine having a fulltime job, a child, housework… and we don’t even have any cleaning to do. Or food shopping.”

“Didn’t you have to do that for years?” Liam asked, almost wanting to laugh but then he didn’t because the younger man simply shrugged, suddenly yawning before answering.

“I mean… I had no child. And also not really any housework or food shopping to do. Usually the people I lived with also didn’t care that much about whether the place was clean or not, so… and we were pretty young as well and some fast food is just really cheap.” And then Niall leaned in once more to kiss Liam again, longer this time. “But maybe we could take some time off… but you have to as well, or I’ll feel super lazy and as if you’re doing double the work.”

“Okay, that sounds like a deal.” Liam agreed immediately, because the truth was, he wanted to spend time with Niall anyways, and be there in case anything happened. He was just paranoid like that. “I’ll just call it a special project and let the motivated guy take over a bit more.”

“You know you can call him by his name, it only got me jealous in the beginning.” Niall told him, a bit too serious and Liam laughed at him, pressing his lips against Niall’s face, anywhere he could reach until the younger man turned his head a bit. “I’m being serious.”

“Mhmm.” Was all Liam made, still chuckling as he kissed Niall a final time. “No, but I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“Why wouldn’t we be? I’d never say no to having more time to keep you trapped in bed with me.” The younger man joked, and Liam decided that even if they didn’t ever ending up doing anything productive, he wouldn’t mind. “We could also maybe help Harry and Louis a bit and take the girls somewhere once a while. I think James is really tiring them all out especially because they’re all home because of the summer break.”

“Definitely, yeah. Harry looked like he’d pass out any second when we were there last week.” It had made them both realize that they were not only in for the good moments that came with having a baby. Then again, they didn’t have 2 young kids on top of the new baby to take care of. 

“Yeah… it was a bit traumatizing.” Niall admitted, with a smile but Liam could tell that he meant it. And he shared that same feeling. “Speaking of the baby, ours has been kicking me nonstop today. I think it’s because I’ve just been lying down.”

“Are you okay?” Liam asked immediately, already worried, but the younger man quickly brushed it off.

“’course. I actually really like when I can feel it move, it’s like it’s telling me it’s still there and awake.” He let out a soft laugh and Liam relaxed again. He always got anxious so quickly whenever anything happened concerning the baby or Niall’s well-being. “Also, I… “

“Hm?” Liam made, anxiety immediately streaming through his body again but the younger man was quick to diffuse it again.

“I texted my dad the latest ultrasound pictures an hour or so ago… he was really excited. He said my mom was, too. But then I just never texted back after that.” He shrugged a bit, and Liam wanted to sigh, but he kept it together. This was already a big deal as it was. 

“Did he not call?” Niall had spoken to his father on the phone one single time since that incident two weeks ago. Everything else had strictly been kept to text messages, but Liam was just glad that at least Niall was doing that. He refused to ever talk about his mother, not to Liam and not to his dad, but that was quite understandable to Liam and he had sworn to himself not to push anything or get involved too much by making Niall do something. That had already ended badly once after all.

“No, thank god. I really wouldn’t even know what to say anyways. I think he’s just glad I’m not ignoring him.” Niall shrugged again, moving even closer towards Liam and they fell into a few moments of silence, not too long where it got weird or Liam had time to get sleepy, but long enough where he definitely thought about closing his eyes. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah?” Liam told him without thinking, their voices now a bit quiet and Niall leaned back just a little bit, keeping his hands on Liam though.

“I’ve… I’ve been reading your book, as you know… “ He started, and already there, Liam had to swallow a bit. This was why he had been hesitant about giving it to Niall, but then again… he was always a bit relieved that the younger man got to learn all these things and that Liam didn’t have to tell them to him. “And I never- sometimes I’m not sure if things really happened that way or if you just wrote them and… and I was just wondering if, um… did he really… did he leave you at home to go on business trips when you were only 8?”

“I mean… yeah. He did that a lot.” Liam told him the truth, because honestly, that was one of the more normal things his father had done. “I actually, um… I quite enjoyed whenever he was gone. Like, I felt lonely sometimes, but I’d go to friends’ houses and stuff, I don’t think their parents ever realized he was gone.”

“What if you got hungry?” Niall continued asking, his face a bit paler now so Liam decided to make it sound a bit better than it had been.

“I did eat at my friends’ houses. And usually there was some stuff at home, so… I also stole from shops a bunch during that time. Or I’d pretend I had forgotten my money, some people behind me always felt bad for me and paid.” Honestly, not the worst times of Liam’s life, he had felt quite grown up during it, as if he could take care of himself if no one else did, because he kinda had had to anyways. It had definitely at least helped him to develop feelings of responsibility and independency very early in life, which he had definitely benefited from when he had first started his firm.

“And, uh… “ Niall continued, swallowing again, but then he did look at Liam this time. “He shut the car door on your thumb? … on purpose?”

“Yeah, but… only once.” As if that made it better. 

“And he didn’t take it to get it looked at until a day later?” The younger man’s eyes had grown a bit bigger, and Liam almost wanted to lie, but then he just nodded. 

“He only took me because I cried so much.” He told Niall, kinda regretting it after but the memory just wasn’t the nicest. It had hurt so much he hadn’t slept that whole night, and then at the hospital his father had pretended to be this really caring dad, and he had told Liam to lie a bunch so that no one would figure out the truth. And no one had. 

Niall just blinked a few times and then he moved all of a sudden and Liam didn’t realize what he was doing until he asked which hand it had been and Liam told him. It had broken his thumb, but Liam had been quite lucky and it had healed quite normally, which was why Niall was probably confused when he inspected the older man’s thumb a bit more closely, gently, as if after all those years it still hurt.

“You can barely tell.” Liam told him, leaving his hand in Niall’s as the younger man kept looking before making Liam’s throat tighter as he brought it to his lips to kiss his thumb before intertwining their fingers. “You know, it’s half so bad, it-“

“It’s horrific, Liam.” Niall told him, his face looking hurt as he lowered their hands on the pillow between them. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay… it was so long ago, I can barely remember it.” Kind of a lie, then again, not so much. So many things had happened that maybe individually weren’t THAT bad, but taken together and piling them up over all those years… 

There was some more silence again, Niall rubbing his thumb over Liam’s and Liam trying not to think too much, but the younger man didn’t really give him a lot of time to do so. “And… and the thing with the cigarettes… that also happened?”

“Not really the way I wrote it, but… “ Much worse. “Pretty much.”

“Is that, uh- is that what the tattoo covers?” Niall asked quietly and Liam just nodded.

His father had been furious when he had caught Liam smoking when he had been around 16 and had thought his father wouldn’t be home for another few hours. He had taken that cigarette right out of Liam’s hand and burned him with it on his arm, asking Liam if he still thought it had been a good idea.

To be fair, Liam had gotten a bunch of tattoos for no reason when he had been older, some with his friends back them, some while he had definitely had too much to drink, and a few to cover scars like that one. He knew Niall must have felt some of them whenever he had taken the time to study each and every one of Liam’s tattoos and ask questions about them months ago, but they had never really brought it up.

Until now.

“If I ever saw him, I think I might kill him.” The younger man told him and Liam smiled sadly, because he kinda felt the same. On the other hand, even today, he kinda wished they could have talked it all out and apologized and just… carried on with their lives. “I just… I don’t get it. How can anybody do that, to their own child? My parents were bad, but your dad was… on a whole other level. Still is, if he’s trying to ruin your firm and tries to get your employees to work for him.”

“He’s just really bitter that I actually managed to make something of my life.” Liam shrugged, squeezing Niall’s hand a bit more tightly. “I always thought that that was my main goal, to do it better than him and really show him, but… I’ve come to realize that that isn’t a very fulfilling life. And that it’s not actually what I really wanted deep down. I might have never realized if I hadn’t met you… “

“Now you’re being cheesy… “ Niall mumbled, his face still sad but there was a smile playing around his lips, mirroring Liam’s. “I’m happy you feel this way, because I feel the same, sometimes I just- I know I’m a lot sometimes, and you really always try your hardest and you’re so sweet to me all the time and understanding and even before I was pregnant I was probably getting on your nerves quite a-“

“You really didn’t.” Liam interrupted immediately and Niall flashed him a thankful smile, but he still continued to the older man’s dismay.

“And then I think about how indecisive I was when you told me you love me and… I still feel bad about that. Do you ever still doubt that I really mean it?” This was completely out of nowhere, also a bit out of context, but Liam was glad they had switched the topic anyways. What his father had done was in the past, this was their present.

“No, never.” Liam told him immediately, and he truly meant it, too. “For a few days right after I kept thinking about it, but after that I never doubted it, I mean… I _know_ you love me. Even if that sounds weird.”

“No, it doesn’t, because it’s true. Sometimes… um, sometimes, whenever you say things like you just said before, I just think about all of that and I somehow can’t believe that it’s really me whose making you feel this way. Or that I could deserve somebody like you and-“

“Baby, stop. It’s not true, you never have to be worried about any of that. When I told you you’re the best thing that ever happened to me I meant it exactly like that. I wouldn’t ever want anybody else, and sometimes it’s me who thinks I’m not good enough for you as well. But I _know_ this is right, and I know you can feel it too. I love you. I always will.” Normally Liam wouldn’t have simply said something like that, but it kinda just slipped out and no matter if he could promise something like that or not, he really and truly meant it.

Niall just blinked a couple times, looking as if he was still in a bit of an inner conflict, but his eyes had gotten a bit wet as well and he sniffed quietly. “Sorry, my hormones and shit… “

“You have to stop apologizing, babe.” Liam told him with a smile, squeezing his hand again before slowly pulling it free so he could cup Niall’s cheek instead, rubbing his thumb underneath his eye.

“I’ll try… I love you too, Li… more than I could probably ever tell you.” He let out a quick laugh that didn’t sound very amused, but before Liam could say anything else, Niall was kissing him again and he just went with it.

They didn’t pull apart again this time and Niall easily relaxed his jaw when Liam’s tongue was begging for entrance, deepening the kiss as he was ever so conscious of not accidentally moving Niall into an uncomfortable position because of his belly. Liam let his hand slip as they snogged slowly, rubbing Niall’s stomach for a bit before simply pulling him in closer, never wanting to move again.

Seeing as it was Friday anyways, luckily they wouldn’t have to for the next two days if they didn’t want to.

The conversation was still stuck in Liam’s mind, and he was a bit afraid of further things Niall would figure out reading his book, possibly the other ones as well, but he decided that maybe it was important for the younger man to know. And he seemed to really want to know these things as well, so even though Liam felt a bit anxious about it, he also felt quite okay with it at the same time. If that even made any sense at all.

\--------------------------------------------

“And whenever I hold him, he just cries. It’s annoying.” Josie declared from the backseat after Niall had made the mistake of asking her how she enjoyed having a baby brother so far. He shared a quick look with Liam, who was very clearly trying to hold back a laugh. “He always wakes up at night, we can never sleep.”

“Never?” Niall asked, because that sounded a bit dramatic if he was being honest.

“… well, sometimes.” The little girl corrected herself in the end and Niall smiled to himself. “When Clara was a baby she never cried like that.”

“Can you still remember that?” Niall wasn’t actually sure if she would have been able to, so he would have to take her word for it.

“Yeah. And it was totally different.” Josie explained to him as if she knew exactly what she was talking about. “It’s probably because James is a boy, right? My daddy said it had nothing to do with that but he just said that because he’s a boy too. I would cry if I was a boy, too.”

“Uncle Niall.” Clara sort of interrupted her sister, but she seemed to be lost in thoughts anyways thinking about whether her baby brother was crying so much because he was a boy. 

“Yes, love?” Niall asked, half turning around to look at the backseat, but then quickly deciding it had been a terrible idea. His mobility was definitely declining as the weeks were passing by. 

“Is your baby gonna be a boy or a girl?” She asked, for probably the 100th time by now. 

“We’ll find out when it’s here.” Niall told her, also for the 100th time in a row, but it seemed the answer never satisfied either of them. 

Somehow Niall had to admit that he was also getting quite curious and he knew so was Liam. Also, the ultrasound pictures at 23 weeks were pretty damn amazing, and chances were they would probably find out by accident at some point anyways even if the doctor had promised to make sure to keep it a secret, probably thinking they were being a bit annoying with it. Then again, he had done the same for Harry.

“Well, I hope it’s a girl. For your sake.” Josie said it like an adult, and Niall couldn’t help but to burst out with laughter and Liam did the same. It was just too funny to hear her say things like that once a while. Then again, she was turning seven in a few days, so maybe it wasn’t that unusual. 

The funniest part really was that all of Harry’s and Louis’ kids’ birthdays were so close together, because right after Josie, Clara would be five as well and luckily Niall and Liam had spent so much time in stores with toys that they had kinda bought their presents on the go. It had of course also prompted Liam to keep asking Niall what he wanted for his own birthday in a month, but Niall felt so far from it with everything going on that he always brushed it off.

The way time was flying by was kind of crazy, because by the time their baby would be born, Niall would have already been working at Liam’s firm for a year. The thought of that was almost as mind blowing as the fact that it would have only taken around 12 months between him embarrassing himself in that interview and dating, living and having a baby with Liam.

“James is still really young, all babies cry a lot and wake up during the night.” Liam explained to Josie once they had calmed down, but Niall could tell he was still amused. 

“Yeah, but not like that.” The little girl kept holding onto it so they just let her and Niall tried to distract the girls with some candy he had brought but had actually been saving for later. Also, he made a mental note not to talk about babies anymore today.

They were actually taking Liam’s idea very seriously of taking some time off of work, giving some of the things to other people working at the firm in favor of either doing nothing at all or actually being useful like today. Harry and Louis had been more than happy when Niall had called to ask if he and Liam could take the girls for a day trip, telling him there was no need to bring them back before their usual bed time, because the truth was, none of them had a sleep schedule anymore anyways.

So yeah, they were driving down to the coast, to an aquarium, and they were forced to listen to children’s songs and audiobooks that Niall had downloaded onto his phone just for this purpose to keep the girls entertained once talking got too boring.

It was kind of a long drive, they had to stop too many times to use the bathroom and buy more snacks, and Niall was pretty sure he and Liam were happier once they had arrived than the girls.

Clara had gotten so sleepy that Liam had to lift her out of the car and had trouble even getting her to walk on his own while Niall started to think that maybe they should have chosen a location that was closer. Then again, they had asked the girls and let them choose, and this was where they had wanted to come to because they had never been here.

“Were the fishies all born in the ocean? And then they were caught and put in here? Like in Finding Dory?” Clara asked once they had finally made it inside the aquarium and she was holding Liam’s hand, not having let go even when he had tried to pay, so Niall had done it instead, all while trying to keep an eye on Josie.

“No, I think a lot of them are born in here. So they get to stay with their families and everything.” Liam calmed her down and it seemed to work while Niall suddenly started to wonder whether it was even ethically correct to bring kids to aquariums and zoos but it was too late for that. 

“But not all of them. I mean, they had to start somewhere.” Josie threw in, making her sisters eyes go wide. 

“But why can’t they let all of them go and live happy in the ocean?” She asked, and well, no one had an answer to that and Niall shared a look with Liam before deciding to bribe the kids with more candy, telling them that the fish were surely very happy in here as well.

It was a huge aquarium and the girls walked rather slowly, so at least they had their day cut out for them. Clara stayed with Liam mostly, holding his hand, at some point also wanting to hold Niall’s at the same time and he had to admit that they definitely made great parents for a day. 

“Uncle Liam, I don’t wanna go to the sharks, I’m scared.” Clara refused to go on at some point, clinging to Liam’s hand with both of hers to make him stop as well. “I wanna go back to the small fishies.”

“Okay, I- we can go back if you want. Are you sure you don’t wanna see them? Nothing can happen to you, I promise. They can’t even see you and the glass is really thick.” Liam tried to tell her but she continued to shake her head, so he turned to Niall. “Should we meet up again in a couple minutes?”

“Yeah, I’ll call you if I can’t find you guys.” Niall smiled, briefly ruffling Clara’s hair before pecking Liam on the lips, not really having a lot of time to do so because Josie was getting really impatient wanting to go see the sharks right at this very second.

“Gross.” She commented as she was walking away with Niall and he had to laugh.

“What? Me kissing Liam?” He asked, and she nodded as if it was more than obvious. “I’ll warn you next time so you can cover your eyes if you want.”

“That would be really cool.” The girl told him in a very serious voice, making Niall grin. “I’m never gonna kiss a boy, that’s disgusting.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Niall made sure to tell her, because after all she was barely 7, he didn’t think she should be thinking of kissing anybody at all. “Also no girls. No one.”

“I’d rather kiss a girl, they’re not that gross.” She explained to him and before Niall was able to say anything else, they had finally reached the sharks and he had a bit of trouble keeping up with Josie as she half ran off to look at them. “Look how cool they are! I had a presentation about sharks at school and I made a really big poster with lots of pictures.”

“I think you showed that to me, actually, you hung it up in your room, right?” At least Niall had some faint memory of that.

“Yes, but my daddies told me to take it down because Clara was scared of it.” She rolled her eyes a bit, her face almost glued to the glass. “But it’s okay, I’ve got lots of other posters and I want Clara to come in my room so we can play. We got to play a lot more now that James is here.”

“Yeah? That’s nice, right?” At least Niall hoped it was, Josie shrugged a bit. 

“My daddies don’t have a lot of time anymore but I know it’s because James is so little and in a few months it will be different. But I don’t know if Clara knows that.” She told Niall while watching the sharks swim around and Niall feared there was yet another conversation he shouldn’t be the one having with her. “But I told daddy and then he talked to her about it.”

“You’re a great big sister, you know that?” Niall truly meant it, and the little girl just shrugged again, but he saw the proud smile on her face anyways. “And James is really lucky that he has the two of you being his sisters. And that you’re already an expert with babies.”

“Kind of. I know how to change a diaper, so if you need help when your baby is here then I can show you how to do it right.” Josie told him with all honesty and Niall was biting the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t laugh.

“Thank you so much, love.” He chuckled, rubbing her back for a moment. 

“You’re welcome.” Josie told him, flicking her hair back and making Niall grin. 

They watched the sharks for quite a while, Niall kind of forgot the time but then Josie told him that she didn’t think that Clara would be too unhappy having Liam all to herself for a little bit longer. According to her, her little sister had been most excited to see him, but that Niall didn’t have to worry at all, because he was still her favorite uncle and always would be.

It was kind of really funny that they were picking favorite’s, but Niall could really understand why. When Josie had been born, Harry and Louis had both still been in university, so Niall had done a ton of babysitting back then when they had needed to study and go to classes, so he had played a huge part in her life growing up, a lot more than with Clara, because when she had been born, Niall had spent even more time with Josie to give Harry and Louis a break. In a way, they had kinda grown up a bit together, just in very different stages of life.

“See, I told you.” Josie commented once they were walking back and spotted Liam, now holding Clara in his arms and just slowly walking her up and down, probably because she looked quite sleepy. As Josie had predicted. “Please don’t kiss him again.”

“Well, now I have to.” Niall laughed as the little girl pulled a face when they came closer, and Niall did exactly what he told the girl. 

“Hi, guys. How were the sharks, were they cool?” Liam asked Josie and she nodded very enthusiastically, immediately going on to tell him all about it while her little sister was very obviously fighting to stay awake at this point.

They had been in the aquarium for a while so they had seen pretty much everything half an hour later, through which Liam carried Clara the entire time. Niall had also made sure to take a few pictures during their stay, he had even made Josie pose with the sharks so he could document everything and send it to his friends later. But also a bit because he just liked having these memories for himself, too.

When the fish got too boring and the girls were starting to complain that they were getting hungry, Niall and Liam both agreed that they had planned this day pretty much perfectly, because they had brought blankets to go sit at the beach and get some take out to eat by the water. Not sure if the girls appreciated the view as much as them, but they also didn’t complain, so whatever.

“It’s a good thing Zayn’s making you go to the gym so often now because otherwise your arm would be falling off by now.” Niall joked once they were all done eating and he and Liam were left on the blanket while the girls were playing close by the water. Not IN the water of course, and they both had their eyes on them at all times. 

“We mostly did leg days.” Liam told him with a fake sad face, making the younger man laugh as he leaned in to briefly kiss his cheek, putting his head on the older man’s shoulder afterwards. “No, but she’s not heavy, so it’s fine. Now I feel stupid that I was ever worried if the girls would like me.”

“You’re already a favorite uncle I heard.” Niall laughed at that, knowing Liam wouldn’t believe him though. “You know what I’m really excited to see? Harry and Louis being uncles to our baby.”

“But they already have nieces and nephews, right?” The older man wrapped his arm around Niall’s shoulder, so Niall let himself fall more into him, his eyes still on the girls.

“Yeah, but they hardly ever see them. And it’ll be different anyways. I mean, I know they’re gonna do great, I’m just curious to see it all play out because I never thought this would happen. And with us having kids so close together.” Which was actually a really good thing because at least then Niall would always know which milestones their baby had to hit and when because he would have seen James do it a couple months earlier. “Kinda crazy… now I feel really old.”

“You’re really young.” Liam told him with a laugh, dropping a kiss on Niall’s head. “You’re not even 26.”

“But almost.” Niall argued, afraid that the conversation would go back to his birthday, and sadly, he was right.

“Have you finally thought about what you want for your birthday?” Liam asked, AGAIN, and Niall simply sighed.

“I just wanna spend the day in bed with you. No gifts. But I would accept a cake.” He quickly added the last part, making Liam laugh. “Maybe we could go on a walk too, if I still feel up for it then. But please don’t get me anything.”

“You got me things for my birthday though.” Fair enough.

“But I didn’t pay anything for them, so it doesn’t even count. Also, you wanted to ignore your birthday completely, I’m at least allowing that you acknowledge mine.” Niall joked, but he was also kinda being serious at the same time. “And yours was more special, because it was a round birthday.”

“You’re making no sense at all, baby.” Liam laughed softly and Niall wanted to roll his eyes but then he didn’t. “Guess it will just be a surprise then.”

“I hate surprises.” Niall lied, and Liam knew it probably.

“Since when?” The older man asked, and Niall could hear the smile in his voice.

“Since right now.” If Niall was being honest though, now he was excited and he really did not wanna be but here he was. He knew that Liam would never not get him nothing, no matter how many times Niall told him.

Liam just laughed again before suddenly hugging Niall really tightly for a moment, kissing the side of his head. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too… but I still mean it.” Niall told him more quietly now, cuddling more into Liam and the older man kissed him a few more times, his breath hitting Niall’s scalp as he laughed.

It was a nice afternoon, Clara did fall down once and scraped her knee a little bit, which left her bawling and running straight into Liam’s arms. Luckily Niall had tons of bandaids and it seemed sitting on Liam’s lap for a bit helped her to calm down as well. They played a bit of ball on the beach later and took a short walk before the girls got tired of that as well but were well up to go and get some ice cream instead.

Niall had to admit that he was probably more excited for the ice cream than them, and even more so when Liam let him eat half of his while the girls weren’t watching. Niall was actually feeling really good in general lately, concerning his pregnancy and everything, but those food cravings were definitely not getting any less. 

Just because it was still kinda early and the girls were begging to go see a movie, they did end up taking them to the cinema, watching some kids movie that almost made Niall fall asleep. But mostly because they had been up on their feet all day and Liam’s shoulder just looked so damn inviting and comfortable.

When it was time to drive home, Niall felt a bit bad that his eyes were falling closed 10 minutes into the drive, the girls already fast asleep in the backseat, and though Liam told him that it was alright, Niall fought for another few minutes before finally giving in. 

\---------------------------

“Nialler… can you wake up for just a moment?” Liam kept trying once he had parked the car in the garage, the younger man sleeping like a stone still, barely making a sound when Liam ran his fingers through his hair, kissing his face. “C’mon, it’s much more comfortable in bed, babe.”

“Hmm… “ Was all Niall made, but he just ended up cuddling deeper into Liam’s hoodie that the older man had covered him with.

Yeah, Liam could have carried Niall, but with him being pregnant and everything, he kinda didn’t dare, afraid he’d drop him. Plus, Niall would have to wake up eventually anyways to at least undress himself, maybe use the bathroom. After Niall being pregnant for quite a while now, Liam had slowly started to learn all these things and made sure to be conscious of them, like making sure they had bathrooms close by and way too many sweet things at home for Niall to eat in the middle of the night. 

“Nialler… “ Liam sing-songed, never stopping his touch in hopes that it would get him to wake up, but also because he just really wanted to continue caressing him. “We’re already home, babe… I brought the girls home as well and they went straight to bed as soon as they were inside. And I saw James for a moment, I took a picture of him for you… do you wanna see?”

“Li… “ Niall started before huffing a bit, finally starting to blink his eyes open a little bit, his voice really raspy and confused. “What’re you talking about?”

“We’re home.” Liam repeated himself, and finally Niall opened his eyes, the hoodie slipping when he had to stretch, yawning, still looking half asleep. “You okay, babe?”

“’m fine… “ Niall mumbled, rubbing his eyes for a moment. Liam had gone down a bit so he wouldn’t have to awkwardly stand in the open door of the car, but he was slowly moving to fully stand up again. “Sorry I slept for so long… “

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. The girls were passed out as well, I carried Clara upstairs and Josie almost fell asleep in the staircase. Harry and Louis were really happy to see them this tired though.” The older man had to laugh a bit at how impressed their faces had been when the girls had announced they wanted to go straight to bed and had thanked Liam a hundred times. “Maybe they’ll finally get a quiet night tonight, James was sleeping too.”

“I wanna see the picture.” Niall told him, apparently having retained some information from what Liam had said before.

Liam got out his phone to show the younger man, a bit proud of himself that he had remembered to take a picture because he knew just how much Niall enjoyed seeing any picture of James at all. And he had to admit, he enjoyed it very much as well, also whenever they got to see and hold him, it got Liam so excited for them to have their own baby soon, it was almost unreal.

“He’s so cute… “ The younger man smiled looking at the picture before handing the phone back to Liam, yawning again. “I don’t know how I’m gonna make it upstairs, my feet hurt. And my back too.”

“I’ll give you a massage as reward if you somehow manage to do it.” Liam promised, grinning when Niall rolled his eyes a bit, but he was smiling as well.

It turned out to be not that easy of a way, not because Niall was pregnant, but because he seemed to be so tired. He barely let himself be talked into brushing his teeth next to Liam, sitting on the edge of the bathtub and leaning his head against the older man’s shoulder the entire time. They also managed to shower afterwards, but only because Niall seemed to like the idea of Liam rubbing his back more than actually washing himself.

The younger man didn’t bother getting dressing before letting himself fall into bed afterwards, half covering himself with the blanket while Liam just stood watching him while laughing, to which Niall only groaned, moving an arm across his eyes. “Turn off the lights, please.”

“In a minute.” Liam promised, thinking of putting on some pants but then realizing that there was no need. At all. 

Still, he had to put a few things away and use the bathroom once more, only leaving on the lights on his own bedside table but turning off the main ones before getting into bed next to Niall, kinda thinking that the other man had already fallen asleep in the meantime. 

“We should do that more often. Like, day trips and stuff. It was fun.” Niall mumbled, letting his arm slip and Liam moved closer until he could gently put his arm underneath the younger man’s head, staring down at him with a smile. “I can’t wait until we can do that with our baby. Everything will be for the very first time and everything will be exciting… I can’t imagine ever growing tired of that. Although Harry and Louis would probably beg to differ.”

“It won’t all just be good and fun, but it will definitely be worth it. I can’t wait either.” Liam told him, kissing Niall’s forehead and the younger man had let his eyes fall closer by the time Liam had pulled away again. 

The older man couldn’t help the warmth spreading in his stomach as he looked at Niall’s face, rubbing their noses together until the younger man laughed quietly, his arms loosely wrapping around Liam’s neck as the older man kissed him softly and then again, and again, just because he could. 

“Do your feet still hurt?” Liam whispered against Niall’s mouth, and the younger man made some sound that sounded like a no. “Anything else?”

“Hmm… “ Was all Niall made, and then he shrugged a bit, his fingers now in Liam’s hair, thumbing at his ear. “I dunno… I feel fine, just tired… and a bit sore… “

“Where?” Liam asked immediately, still placing kisses over Niall’s face in between talking.

“Kinda everywhere. Probably because we were walking all day… “ Niall shrugged a bit, and then he yawned, kinda right into Liam’s face. “Sorry… “

“It’s okay.” The older man let out a laugh, pressing a final kiss to Niall’s lips. “I’d know something that could help if you need to relax… if you’re up for it still. I’d understand if you’re too tired.”

“Hmm… I’m tired, but if you’d be willing to do most of the work… “ Niall blinked his eyes open at that and Liam grinned down at him, very happy about this development. And if he could make Niall feel better on top of that… even better.

Liam didn’t have to be told twice, he kissed the younger man again, more deeply and desperate this time, but not lingering for as long as he normally would have, instead kissing down the younger man’s neck while slowly moving the blanket. Good thing that they were both already naked, saved a lot of time.

Niall just sighed, leaning his head back to give the older man better access to his skin, letting him suck a few love bites onto his throat before Liam moved down further, ever so slowly, making sure to appreciate every inch of Niall’s body as much as he could. He could tell Niall was enjoying himself because his grip in Liam’s hair was starting to become a bit tighter and he sighed when Liam’s lips closed around one of his nipples, only gently because he knew just how sensitive the younger man was.

He didn’t try to push Liam away though, kinda pulled him even closer to his chest as Liam licked and sucked on his nipple, reaching out to roll the other one between his fingers, always careful not to apply too much pressure and accidentally hurt Niall or get him over sensitive because it had happened too many times lately.

“Okay?” Liam asked at some point when he was unsure, but seeing Niall’s eyes pressed closed and him just nodding with furrowed eyebrows gave the older man all the answer he had needed to continue.

Liam only moved on when he heard Niall moaning quietly, he kissed down his very pregnant belly, feeling himself getting hard as well from constantly brushing against the sheets and touching the younger man the entire time. Still, he had to take a few moments to just take Niall in like this, looking all hot and bothered underneath Liam, his face a bit flushed and his stomach sticking out like that and Liam couldn’t help it, but it was probably the Alpha in him that made him extra possessive whenever he saw Niall naked and pregnant with his baby.

“You look so beautiful, Nialler… I love seeing you like this… “ He just HAD to tell him, although it was no secret that Liam had always had a bit of a thing for imaging Niall being pregnant with his baby, even very early on in their relationship. Or whatever it had been back then. “Being pregnant with our baby looks so fucking good on you, I almost wish it could last longer than just a few more months… “

“I don’t… “ Niall whispered, and Liam had to laugh, dropping a kiss on the younger man’s stomach, rubbing his hands over the stretched skin and right under, getting very close to where he knew the younger man wanted to be touched. “Li… please… “

“What do you want me to do?” Liam decided to be nice today, and do exactly what Niall wanted him to because he wanted him to relax as much as possible. 

“Your mouth… “ The younger man half whined, moving a bit on the bed and Liam grinned, continuing to kiss Niall’s skin, putting his hands on his inner thighs to spread his legs a bit more, the younger man’s dick already half hard before Liam had done as much as breathe on it.

He didn’t wanna tease too much today, so he wrapped his fist around Niall’s erection, pumping it slowly while listening to the younger man’s breath increasing drastically until it turned to quiet moans and Liam leaned forward to kiss the tip, licking a stripe over it and causing the younger man to moan his name. Of course that went straight to Liam’s middle as well and he enveloped Niall’s dick fully into his mouth, keeping a hand around the base of it as he slowly bobbed his head, never going too fast because he didn’t want Niall to come just yet.

“Yeah… just like that… _Liam… ah_ … “ The noises coming out of the younger man’s throat were like music to Liam’s ears, he pulled off for just a moment, spreading his own spit and pre cum over Niall’s dick, watching it glide so easily through his fist, making the younger man moan each time when Liam rubbed his palm over the head.

Liam knew exactly what Niall liked and what got him going, what pushed him to the edge the quickest and what would help him to hold back, so he alternated between those things, sucking him off for a while, nibbling on his skin until he could tell the younger man was close and he’d pull off again, just wanking him for a few moments to drag it out.

“ _Liam, please…_ ” Niall was getting desperate as Liam sucked on his balls while getting him off with his hand, and Liam didn’t wanna torture him any longer so he took him back into his mouth, fully, almost gagging when Niall pushed his hips up just a bit, another moan escaping him. “ _Aaah… y-yeah… yeah, please, I- Liam, Liam, I’m go-_ ”

He came down Liam’s throat within seconds, the older man working him through it, swallowing his cum and only letting go when he felt Niall becoming softer in his mouth because he knew he would become over sensitive.

Liam immediately crawled back up to push their mouths together, rock hard himself as he snogged Niall quite desperately, fingers playing with his nipples again as the younger man kept moaning into his mouth even though he had just come down from his high.

“Li- Liam.” Niall interrupted their kiss much to Liam’s dismay, and he kissed him again before letting him speak, his voice clearly out of breath. “I wanna ride you.”

Fuck.

“Yeah? Are you sure?” Liam asked, very hopeful, hastily kissing the younger man again as he nodded before pulling him down into another kiss.

“Turn on your back.” Niall told him a few moments later, and Liam let out a breathless laugh.

“I love it when you’re being so bossy.” He told Niall jokingly, but also… it was kind of the truth, honestly. 

“We can’t do it any other way without my stomach getting in the way and without me getting too exhausted.” The younger man shrugged as he moved as well, and one second Liam was smiling, the next he was sucking in his breath as Niall started to wank him completely out of nowhere, giving him a few measured jerks before straddling his hips.

Liam made sure to help as much as he could, always keeping his hands on the younger man to support him and help him hold his balance even though he could barely think clearly with Niall guiding his erection into his already leaking hole, his body immediately welcoming him inside, making Liam hiss in pleasure.

“Fuck, baby… you should see yourself… “ Liam could barely take it now, Niall sitting on his dick, flushed and sweaty, all pregnant with his baby. It already felt like too much and they hadn’t even really gotten started.

Niall just grinned at him before moving his hips a bit, and Liam moaned, reaching out to put his hands on Niall’s stomach as the younger man leaned back a bit, so he could support himself on his hands as he started to slowly bounce on Liam’s dick. His rhythm was fast and sharp and Liam just stared at him, completely in trance and basically going to cloud nine whenever Niall clenched more tightly around him.

When Niall reached up to start playing with his own nipples, that was basically IT for Liam. He did reach out to sloppily jerk Niall off, his erection already standing proudly again, but he could barely warn the younger man before pumping him full with his cum, his orgasm just washing over him out of nowhere. 

He felt Niall coming a second time onto his chest, but his ears were ringing and Liam was a bit dizzy as he was slowly coming down from it when Niall had already moved off of him, having lied down next to him once more, but so close that their heated skin was brushing everywhere. 

“Li… “ Niall whispered, but maybe that was just Liam’s ears feeling as if they had been stuffed with cotton. 

“Yeah?” Liam asked while his chest was heaving and he was struggling to fill his lunges with enough air, still feeling all worked up and not fully himself.

“… bite me.” The younger man told him, and it took a few moments for it to sink in.

“I… what?” Liam felt so confused as he propped himself up on one elbow to stare down at Niall, his gorgeous face all sweaty and red and god, Liam wanted to kiss him again so badly, but he also suddenly wanted to do exactly what the younger man had asked for.

“Please.” Niall told him, suddenly looking really desperate and in the heat of that moment, Liam doubted that either of them were fully themselves and thinking this through.

All he could remember in the end was leaning down until his lips were gently brushing the junction of Niall’s neck and shoulder, and then he bit him until his teeth were breaking skin and he could taste blood. The younger man let out a quiet noise and it lasted only for a couple of seconds before Liam pulled away, staring at the spot, kind of surprised by himself as he woke up from his state of trance or whatever that had been.

“Shit, I- did I hurt you?” Liam blurted out, his head still not fully there yet and his thoughts kinda not making any sense, all he could think was _Niall, Niall, Niall_ , and he couldn’t have taken his eyes off of him, even if he had wanted to.

“Yeah… I barely felt it, it was like… like I came a third time.” Niall told him, looking stunned as he reached out to touch the wound on his neck, covering it with his hand and Liam wiped his mouth that was still full of blood. “Kiss me.”

“There’s bl-“

“I don’t care.” The younger man told him and so Liam did what he had been told.

The kiss felt more intense now, if that was even possible, and Liam still hadn’t fully wrapped his head around what he had just done, what it meant and what the consequences were, he just knew he didn’t regret it, not in any way. He never could have, because this was what he had been meant to do, probably for months already.

As they snogged there was nothing on Liam’s mind except Niall, how he tasted, how he felt against him, how they had been made for one another and how it felt like everything had just been leading up to this very moment. There was no doubt in Liam’s mind that Niall was his soulmate, no one else could have been that for him, it almost made him wanna laugh because the thought of him ever not being with Niall in the future felt so ridiculous.

The only reason they were forced to pull apart was because Niall had to yawn, and though Liam had to laugh at that, it also made him realize that the younger man was bleeding onto the pillow, and that did make him panic.

“Fuck, Ni, I- I’m gonna get something.” Liam immediately jumped up despite Niall’s protest, simply reaching into his closet to grab the first random shirt as if his boyfriend was bleeding to death and not lying in bed completely relaxed as ever. “Here, hold that on the- never mind, I’ll do it.”

“Li, I’m fine. It’s supposed to be like that, it’s not even bleeding a lot.” Niall didn’t fight it though, he just let Liam press the shirt onto his wound and the older man’s heart rate was slowing down again as the seconds passed. When their eyes met, Niall was smiling. “Feels really good, huh?”

“Yeah… it feels different than I thought, but I… I suddenly don’t know why we even waited.” Seriously, now that Liam could see it more clearly, he felt like an idiot.

“I don’t know either. I don’t even know why I said that, I wasn’t even thinking about it. It just felt… “ He drifted off then, as if he didn’t know how to say it.

“Right.” Liam completed Niall’s sentence for him and they smiled at each other. Liam felt like his heart could have burst any second.

It didn’t, because he realized he had let go of putting pressure on his shirt and though it made Niall roll his eyes at him fondly, telling him he was fine and that this was normal, Liam kept it there for a few more minutes.

He didn’t feel different about Niall than before, just more intensely, more assured that this was IT, for the both of them. And the fact that he was 100% certain that Niall was feeling the very same, it meant the entire world to Liam.

So this was why people bonded, this was why bonded couples had this energy around them that had gotten Liam jealous more than just once in life. It was the best thing that ever happened to him and he felt as if he could have done absolutely anything in this world right now. As if he was finally whole, without ever having noticed that part of him had been missing.

“I’ve been thinking about it… “ Niall told Liam after the older man had thrown his shirt back on the floor and they had cuddled up underneath the blanket, Niall lying in Liam’s arm, playing with his fingers.

“About what?” Liam was confused for a moment, he was still stuck thinking about what he had just done, so randomly and at the same time more meaningful than anything else.

“About what we could do on my birthday.” The younger man told him, confusing Liam even more, but he was happy about it nevertheless.

“Sure, anything, what- what do you wanna do?” He had of course already made some plans, but it was Niall’s birthday, so he got to decide in the end.

Niall didn’t answer immediately, it actually took him quite a while as he turned a bit, a weird grin on his face that didn’t really help clear anything up as he kissed Liam’s cheek, bringing his lips to the older man’s ear afterwards. As he breathed out, Liam felt goosebumps raising all over his body, but not as many as when the younger man whispered into his ear.

“Marry me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im on time yay :D no idea how but here we are!!
> 
> i hope you liked the chapter, especially the ending haha! when i said i wanted to make this chapter kinda big i honestly didnt know what to do until almost the end, so here we are :p i hope you enjoyed it and that youre excited! obviously theres still a lot to unpack in this fic, which feels really weird bc were already on chapter 21 and Niall's barely midway through his pregnancy haha! i gotta say though im kinda excited for when this baby his here or for when its getting a bit closer to the birth :D 
> 
> anyways, i hope you guys had a good week & weekend! mine was super weird, my internship is so strange but i got to go home after 4 hours every day even though its a 40 hour week but yeah, im not complaining! but im also not getting paid so there is that too. haha. 
> 
> let me know your thoughts, love you all!!! <3


	22. Chapter 22

“What?“ Liam had needed a few moments to actually answer and when Niall had leaned back to look at him, he almost had to laugh when he took in the older man’s face.

“You asked me what I wanted to do on my birthday.” Niall repeated, shrugging, as if it was completely normal to just say these things. In reality, his heart was beating quite fast and he could also feel the wound on his neck pulsating with it. Not that it hurt, he liked knowing it was there even though he still had no clue why he had thought of asking Liam to bite him, it had just felt like the right time.

Still did.

“You wanna get married? On your birthday?” Liam repeated, and this time, Niall really had to laugh before he leaned down to kiss the older man. “Ni-“

“You don’t wanna marry me?” The thought was making Niall laugh more, because as ridiculous as it maybe sounded, he KNEW Liam wanted to marry him, he knew Liam loved him with his whole heart and that they were meant to be together. After bonding with him, it seemed more than just clear.

“No, no, of course I want to, I- I just didn’t expect you to and- I, um- I was going to, you know, I… I was going to propose at some point, I always thought- in my head I always thought I’d be the one to ask you.” He finally finished and Niall felt a rush of fondness overcome him.

“We can also pretend I never said that and then you can do it again.” He suggested with a smirk, loving just how surprised Liam still was. He was so bloody cute. “Or we could-“

“No, it’s fine, I- yes, I wanna marry you. Of course I do, Nialler.” The older man told him quickly and Niall smiled, kissing him again. “I just feel bad because I didn’t get you a ring or anything.”

“I didn’t get you a ring either, I didn’t even plan any of this, but… I feel like we should do that, because I love you and I know I will never want anybody else and now that we’re bonded it’s so obvious to me. But we can also wait, it doesn’t have to be my birthday.” Any day would be fine for Niall, even tomorrow.

“We can do it however and whenever you want, I-“

“No, I wanna do it the way we both wanna do it. Not just me.” Niall quickly interrupted, feeling just a bit bad right now because he suddenly thought about whether Liam had had something completely else in mind. “You can tell me if this is too quick or too soon and if you rather we do it differently. This is about both of us.”

“I just wanna marry you, I don’t care about anything else except you.” Liam told him bluntly, his cheeks turning a bit red and the younger man felt his face getting softer. “We can do it on your birthday or any other day. It doesn’t matter to me.”

“I just thought maybe you wanted a really big wedding that takes a lot of planning or something.” Then again…

“Who would we invite though?” They just looked at each other, and then Niall couldn’t help but burst out laughing and Liam joined for a moment. “So, we’ll just make an appointment at the city hall and… should we ask our friends?”

“If they have time.” Niall shrugged a bit, because yeah, it would’ve been nice if they came, but also, he wouldn’t be mad if they didn’t. Especially with James being so little and everything. “The girls would surely be thrilled if they got to dress up and stuff. Maybe we can still make it a pretend wedding and have them carry the rings or something.”

“What rings?” Liam asked, looking confused and then amused.

“Right, I forgot.” Niall laughed, the whole situation and conversation making him somehow feel a bit high, but in a really good way. “You know what we should do? Go ring shopping together, at least then each of us gets the one we like.”

“You think I would have picked you one you didn’t like?” Liam grinned and Niall just shrugged, because who knew? “We could have exchanged it.”

“No, if you had picked one for me I would have worn it, no matter if I would have liked it because it would’ve been from you.” Also, he hadn’t, so it was whatever. “We can also pick each other’s rings if that would make you happy, you know. If you really wanna trust my taste… “

“Let’s just decide spontaneously.” Liam had honestly thought about it for a moment and Niall playfully rolled his eyes as the older man kissed his cheek with a smile. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“Me neither. I don’t even know why I thought about all this tonight, it’s just… I felt like I should. And I definitely don’t regret it.” While talking, Niall had touched the wound on his skin, flinching a bit because it was tender, but at the same time feeling it made him excited about it all over again. “I would’ve never thought I’d bond with anybody. Or get married. And have a baby. Any of this, it feels like a dream somehow.”

“I know exactly what you mean… “ Liam mumbled and they stared at each other before they kissed again, longer this time, a lot more gentler and the older man only pulled away for a second to mumble against Niall’s lips. “I love you so much, Ni… “

“I love you too, Li… “

\----------------------------

“You… what?!” Zayn seemed really confused after Liam had asked him if he’d be free on Niall’s birthday, and once he had told him the date and Zayn had said yes although looking surprised to be asked, Liam had simply asked him if he wanted to best man. Kind of in a hypothetical way of course.

Truth be told, he had planned to do this very differently and not so randomly over grabbing a bite to eat after their work out at the gym, but then he had panicked a bit and now here they were. 

“You’re getting married?! On Niall’s birthday? In not even a month?! When did you decide that?” The other man was clearly very confused, probably thinking Liam had kept them getting engaged a secret for weeks, when reality was… it had literally been 3 days since they had bonded and Niall had asked Liam to marry him.

Since then, they had basically been on top of each other 24/7 and Liam was sure that he had never been happier in his entire life. It was like, everything was still the same but so much better now, so much more obvious that they were soulmates and completely aligned with whatever the universe or whoever had planned for them.

Okay, maybe that was going a bit far to think about, but it was truly what Liam felt. 

“Three days ago.” Liam told him honestly before taking another bite, not wanting this to be such a big deal, but somehow it was because Zayn’s eyes were still huge and he kept staring at him, as if he was waiting for more to come. “… we also bonded that day, so it was like… a no brainer that we would get married. And Niall wanted to do it on his birthday so… we’re doing it.”

“You guys keep surprising me.” Zayn laughed a bit breathlessly, shaking his head slowly before smiling. “But congratulations. And of course I’ll be your best man, I’d love to. I just… I really can’t believe any of this. It was very obvious you two belong together, but you still caught me by surprise just now.”

“I know, it kinda caught us by surprise too, I think.” Liam grinned, the memory just making him even happier. God, his life was truly perfect right now, like, there was not a single thing he would have wanted to change.

“But are you gonna be doing an actual wedding? Or am I just there as witness at the city hall or something?” Right, Liam should have probably clarified that.

“The second. So just wear whatever you want and don’t bring a gift or anything. We don’t know yet if Harry and Louis and the girls are gonna come, Niall’s asking them later today, so… you might be the only guest.” Would they even wear suits? Liam hadn’t asked Niall yet, they also hadn’t gone ring shopping so far, but they still had a few weeks to do that anyways. For now, Liam was just really happy enjoying time with Niall and just… being around him, taking in the fact that that was his _soulmate_ having their baby, that Liam had gotten it 100% right and that they would soon be an actual family.

“So… Niall’s not inviting his parents or anyone else?” The other man asked slowly, carefully, and Liam cleared his throat for a second.

“Um, no. We talked about it for a moment, but… uh, he recently had a falling out with them, so… “ Liam knew Niall wouldn’t have invited them if he had gotten paid to do so. And if Liam was being completely honest, he also didn’t wanna have them there, because it wasn’t an actual wedding anyways and he wanted to spend the day with people who they both actually liked. “It’s better this way.”

“Okay, yeah, I understand.” Zayn nodded immediately and Liam tried to relax, tried not to think about certain things again that he knew they couldn’t change anyways.

Like their problems with their parents. Or the fact that no one had ever gotten back to any of them because of Niall’s music. Or that Niall kept reading Liam’s books and uncovering kinda awful details about Liam’s childhood that made him wanna kill his father. But yeah, Liam didn’t wanna tell Zayn about any of that, it wasn’t his problem after all and Liam didn’t want him to know that Niall had told Liam that Zayn had told him about the books, so there was that.

“Are you excited?” The other man asked with a smile after a moment of silence, and Liam tried to lock away those things that had just passed his mind.

“Yeah. Although I still can’t actually believe that any of this is real.” He let out a laugh, not really amused but because he genuinely could somehow not get it into his head even after three days and seeing Niall’s wound on a daily basis, feeling the bond between them even when they weren’t together.

“Me neither.” Zayn laughed as well, but then his face got softer. “So what’s it feel like? Having found your soulmate and everything?”

“It’s like… I can’t even describe it. I’ve never felt this way before.” Liam didn’t wanna make his friend feel bad, because he knew what it was like watching other people have this perfect life. It’s just, his life had been anything but perfect for a long time, and now this… “I didn’t actually think that any of this existed.”

“It’s kinda hard to believe for me as well. But you deserve it, both of you. You both went through a lot in life and I’m really happy that you found each other.” Now Liam’s throat felt a bit tight, but luckily only for a second before Zayn smirked. “And even happier that I get to take full credit for it all.”

“Thank you so much.” Liam told him sarcastically, but his friend was right either ways. Without Zayn, they would have never met again after the interview. 

“You’re welcome.” Zayn grinned, taking another bite from his food before continuing. “I’m just really glad you found Niall, he changed you in a good way. He’s even making you take a few steps back from work and take breaks once a while and focus on what you really want in life, you know? And I feel like you made a huge positive impact on his life too, I don’t think he’s ever had that kinda security before that he was with you. I know he’s got his friends and all, but… I mean, not only did you give him a job and everything, but I can see how much you love him and I know you’d do anything for him. And seeing what he’s been through… he probably never experienced that before.”

“Yeah… I don’t think he has.” Liam had to swallow thinking about that, his throat feeling tight again even though he knew that he’d never let Niall go back to any of this. They’d always have each other now, no matter what. They were soulmates after all.

Still, it was hard knowing there were things in Niall’s life that were bothering him and Liam was powerless because he couldn’t change them. At the same time, this was why he wasn’t sure if he wanted Niall to continue reading his books, because it must have felt the same the other way around.

“I don’t know how all of this happened, but… I’m so glad everything turned out this way. I never even knew I wanted kids and get married before I met him… “ And he might have never found out that his work alone was leaving him unfulfilled, and what would Liam have done in 20 years from now when it would have been too late? The thought made him shudder.

“Maybe some things are really just meant to happen, you know? I mean, what were the odds, right?” Zayn shrugged, but he was still smiling and Liam had to agree with him. 

What were the odds of anybody in this world meeting their soulmate? Liam knew that nowadays it was a rare thing to happen, so every day waking up next to his, he’d make sure to count himself even luckier.

\---------------------------

“Sooo… I was going to ask you something.” Niall didn’t really know how to start the conversation, he was helping Louis decorate the living room and prepare for Josie’s birthday party tomorrow. The girls were with their grandparents having a sleepover and Harry was on the couch with James, who had just had a 10 minute crying fit before finally falling asleep.

“Sure, what?” Louis was obviously only half listening, stepping back with a critical expression on his face to stare at the balloons he had just hung up on a string. They were completely off center, but Niall refrained from saying anything. “… Haz, does this look weird?”

“Kind of.” Harry told him, but then he shrugged when Louis turned around. “They won’t notice. What were you gonna say, Nialler?”

“Right, um… “ Niall cleared his throat a bit, not knowing what to do or say, so he kinda just did it, while staring at the present he had been wrapping on the floor. “Do you guys, um… are you free on my birthday? Only for a few hours?”

“Sure, if you want us to be. We kinda assumed you’d spend it with Liam.” Now Louis sounded confused, so Niall made sure to continue, so they wouldn’t think they had had a fall out or something. Very much the opposite.

“Yeah, I am, just… “ Niall had to scratch his neck, where the wound was still healing. He had worn one of Liam’s hoodies to cover it even though it was way too hot for that, but no one questioned it because none of his own clothes fit anymore anyways because of his growing belly. Whenever he looked at how Harry had almost gone back to normal by now, he couldn’t help but be overcome with a slight bit of jealousy.

“Did anything happen?” Harry suddenly sounded very alarmed and now Niall truly had to be fast.

“Yeah, but- something good.” Niall quickly told them so they’d relax, and then he took a deep breath before spitting it out. “We bonded. And we’re getting married on my birthday.”

There was silence after that, Louis’ mouth had just dropped and Harry was just staring and then when Niall almost got scared that maybe they disapproved, Louis suddenly came over to pull him into the tightest hug. “Thank god.”

“… why do you sound relieved?” Okay, should Niall have been amused or offended?!

“We were kinda worried neither of you would ever take the initiative.” Louis was just laughing into Niall’s hair, and Harry looked a bit embarrassed for him as Niall met his eyes over Louis’ shoulder. Hugging him was a bit difficult now that he was so far along in his pregnancy, but it was working out somehow.

“Don’t listen, he’s joking. That’s amazing, Ni, congratulations. We’re really happy for you. Right, Lou?” Harry said the last part a bit harshly and even though Niall felt like he should have been upset with Louis… he couldn’t have been. It honestly sounded like them to just never grow the balls to speak up. So it had been a good thing that Niall had just blurted out with both the second he had thought about it and had still felt light headed from his orgasm.

“’course. That’s insane. I almost feel like a proud father.” He was laughing as he pulled away, clapping Niall on the shoulder as the younger man rolled his eyes. “So, I’m definitely gonna be the best man, right?”

“I, uh, haven’t quite decided.” Niall cleared his throat, looking at Harry, because, well… he had kinda meant to ask Harry. They had been friends for way longer, they went all the way back… “Maybe… maybe I could have two?”

“Is that legal?” Louis questioned, and Niall made sure to nod very quickly while Harry just snorted quietly on the couch to not wake James. “Who else is gonna come?”

“Um, Zayn. If he’s free, Liam’s asking him sometime today, they went to the gym.” At least Liam wouldn’t have to pick who to ask to be his best man, because Niall felt a bit pressured right now even though he knew Harry would have definitely not been offended either way. 

Louis nodded, and then of course he asked the question. “… what about your parents?”

“They’re definitely not invited.” Niall just said it how it was, because just the thought made him wanna puke. He had briefly told Harry and Louis about what had happened when he and Liam had gone to see his parents, so they knew better not to ask any questions. “Also, it’s not even a real wedding, we’re just gonna sign some papers, that’s all. I just thought maybe the girls would enjoy it, but if you don’t have any time or if it’s too stressful because of James then that’s completely fine and-“

“Ni, stop talking. Of course we’re coming to your wedding, I never got to give Liam a talk about how he better never mess up and always support you. And how I’m gonna murder him if he doesn’t stick to that. So a wedding seems like the perfect opportunity for that.” Louis grinned and Niall wanted to roll his eyes but he really appreciated how much his friend cared for him. 

“I don’t think you have to tell him any of that. We’re soulmates.” Saying it made Niall’s stomach go warm and he could feel himself smiling. Whenever he thought about it, he could have jumped in the air from how much happiness he felt. At the same time, he was missing Liam, even now when they were only a couple hours apart and he knew the older man would come over soon to pick him up again.

“Where’d he bite you? Show me. Unless it’s super inappropriate.” Louis winked at him and Niall simply pulled down his hoodie a bit to show him, feeling a bit weird about it, but honestly, that was just Louis, it was normal behavior for him anyways. “THAT’s why you wore that hoodie. Cheeky.”

“Oh, stop it, Lou. I just wanted to wait for the right time to tell you guys and not just walk in here with everyone being able to tell at one glance.” Niall shrugged, feeling a bit awkward now, so he made sure to cover up the mark again. It was healing quickly, as every bonding mark did, but it would never fade completely and Niall had never gotten the appeal of that, but now he really did. It would always make him Liam’s, and the other way around, and everyone would be able to tell. “You guys didn’t tell me for _weeks_.”

“I would have, Harry was the one who told me to wait back then.” Louis shrugged as he went back to finally fix those balloons, and when Niall went to sit next to Harry because he had finished wrapping the presents, he already knew what his friend was going to say.

“You know why I didn’t wanna tell you immediately.” He told Niall quietly and Niall just nodded because he did.

Everything had been going wrong for him back then, it had been hard seeing his best friend finding his soulmate, having a baby and having his life completely figured out that young. Little had Niall known, it would take so many more years for him to achieve the same, so long he had honestly given up a long time ago. 

“Is it even now?” Louis interrupted them, and just because, Niall told him three more times to move the balloons to the side until Louis had had enough and threw another balloon at him that had no air in yet. 

Because they had gotten done a lot sooner than planned, they just sat in the living room for a bit waiting for Liam to come and pick Niall up, and Niall got to hold James after he had woken up and luckily wasn’t crying. Yet.

“Can I ask you something, Haz?” Niall started while staring down at James in his arms, never quite being able to believe that this baby was his godson and that he would soon have a baby himself.

“Sure.” Harry shrugged, obviously enjoying not having to hold the baby for once.

“What was it like when… you know, when you were breast feeding for the first time?” It was something Niall had thought about for so long that he had psyched himself out completely and also, whenever Liam touched his nipples it felt inappropriate now but it was also so hot that Niall never wanted him to stop. A dilemma.

“Weird, but you get used to it fairly quickly. Louis enjoyed it too.” Harry let out a laugh at the last part and Niall saw Louis’ face getting a bit more red, a rare sight.

“Why are we talking about that now? I’m getting something to drink.” He huffed, getting up while Niall bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t laugh as well. 

“I mean, I probably don’t have to tell you that there’s gonna be changes… a bit in size and everything. Also sensitivity. But honestly, it’s not bad at all, just gets sore after a while. When I was pregnant with Josie I was producing milk way too soon, so you can imagine what that meant and why Louis just left.” Right.

“I think we probably shouldn’t be talking about that.” Niall quickly told him while Harry just laughed, shrugging. “Did you have to put anything into your shirt so it wouldn’t get on your clothes?”

“All the time. Even right now. But call me when it’s time and I’ll tell you what brand to get. Also with diapers and everything. I mean, you can try things out, I just know some things gave all of my kids rashes.” Niall nodded along, relieved that he had Harry, but nervous now about doing something wrong and making the same mistakes. “Have you decided on a name yet?”

“We don’t even know the gender, so… and we also never really talk about names, it’s stressing me out.” A lot more than Niall would have liked the admit. “But at least we’ve got tons of stuff at home already, and Liam and Zayn are gonna move the bed from the guest room in a few weeks.”

“See, then you’re already more prepared than I was at that stage with James.” Harry tried to make him feel better, but the reality was that Harry and Louis were experts at raising babies and kids and Niall and Liam were… a bit clueless.

Louis did come back after a while, and they talked about other things, like the wedding and Niall’s birthday and about James, and when Liam came to pick Niall up, he stayed for a few minutes as well because Louis kept joking around that he had to make sure he approved of their engagement. It was all in good fun of course and Niall just felt so relieved that Liam was here as well that he didn’t care about anything else.

“I really missed you.” Niall told Liam the moment they had left the building, holding hands as they were walking to the car and Liam smiled at him, dropping a kiss on Niall’s head.

“I really missed you too, love.” He told him and Niall leaned his head against the older man’s shoulder for a moment. “It sounded like it went well.”

“Yeah, they’re happy for us. I just… do you think they can both be my best men?” Though it wasn’t a real problem, Niall kinda felt like it was and Liam laughed.

“I think so. Why not, right? I mean… since it’s just signing a paper… “ Right, maybe Niall should have really just have Louis do it. 

“What did Zayn say?” He had said yes, Niall already knew because otherwise Liam would have been a lot more beaten down, but he seemed to be in the best mood ever.

“He said yes and he’s really happy for us as well. He told me to tell you that he still takes full credit for it all though.” Sounded a lot like him.

“Fair enough. I mean… he’s not wrong.” Niall shrugged, grinning at Liam because he knew the older man didn’t like hearing it, so Niall made sure to kiss his cheek as an apology. “How was your work out?”

“Alright… better than last time, at least. But I feel like Zayn also keeps getting better, so it just puts more pressure on me.” Liam laughed and Niall made sure to squeeze his hand a bit. 

“I’m sure you’re doing amazing and Zayn is just trying to show off. He’s probably super sore after every work out.” Niall lied to make Liam feel better and the older man snorted, letting go of Niall’s hand so he could wrap his arm around his shoulder instead and pull him in closer. 

“I love you.” He told the younger man and Niall grinned to himself.

“I know you do.” He laughed, wrapping his arm around Liam’s waist. “I love you too.”

Liam had parked the car a bit further away from the building because in the evening everyone was home and there wasn’t really a lot of available parking spaces, but it was fine because it felt like a short evening walk, even if Niall felt a bit sore when they arrived. Probably came from the fact though that he had been sitting on the floor for so long, wrapping gifts.

Harry and Louis had tried to tell him that they really did not need any help preparing for Josie’s birthday, but since Niall had wanted to talk to them anyways and also drop off her gift from them because they wouldn’t be there for the party, he had kinda convinced them until Harry had admitted that they actually did need the help anyways. Because Clara’s birthday was so close to her sister’s, Niall had offered his help with that also since they couldn’t re-use anything because obviously the girls would notice. Soon they’d have to play that game with a third child whose birthday would almost be just as close and Niall felt like it was probably both a blessing and a curse.

“I got something on the way home, by the way. I went grocery shopping and-“

“I told you I’d help with that.” Niall interrupted as they had gotten in the car, feeling guilty. “You really didn’t have to do it alone Li, especially after your work out.”

“I wanted to. Besides, I had to do it because it’s a surprise along with what else I bought.” He told the younger man with a very cheeky grin on his face and Niall wasn’t sure if he should have been worried or not when Liam reached into the backseat to get something, placing it right in Niall’s hands. “I hope you still wanna learn how to cook.”

“I do, I- do you think we will manage though? I’ve never in my life cooked anything out of a cook book.” Or in general. At least nothing that he had enjoyed eating.

“That’s why I got this one. See? For Dummies. So we’ll be fine.” Liam seemed more than just excited about it, and that alone had Niall thinking it was a great idea. “I got the ingredients for something in there that I thought we’d both like. And for a second one as well in case you hate the first one.”

“You’re so cute. Thanks, Li.” Niall laughed as he flipped through the pages, skipping over a few instructions and hoping that they were easier on the meals Liam had chosen for them. “We should try to make all of these before the baby is here… except that one, that looks gross… also that one seems weird… I mean, it’ll be a while until a baby can eat real food anyways, right? We still have months.”

“But we’re starting to tonight, I only had a really small snack when I was with Zayn.” The older man explained as he started the car and Niall tried not to laugh.

“That’s very brave of you.” Then again, if they messed up, they could always go back to ordering something. “I almost feel bad, the delivery people are gonna think we died.”

“We could still order once or twice a week, just to be nice, you know.” Liam suggested and Niall laughed, thinking that those restaurants would surely miss Liam’s more than generous tips and then he actually felt bad. Then again, they were adults, they needed to some day learn how to cook, even if they really did not want to. “So we won’t starve.”

“We’ll be fine. How hard can it be, right? We’ll just never let anybody else cook for our child so then it will never know that there are people who do it better than us. And maybe we’ll already be chefs by then anyways.” Niall decided, still looking through the book while Liam was driving them home, not so sure anymore whether they’d actually be able to pull this off or not.

Then again, maybe it wasn’t really about that anymore, more about them just trying their best and doing it together and like, have a nice evening. Especially after Niall had just been forced to spend four hours without Liam, which had felt like an eternity to him.

He knew this wouldn’t last forever, they wouldn’t feel each other’s absences to such an extend anymore after a while, but Niall appreciated that he could somehow feel emotionally closer to Liam. That he’d know that even if they were apart that Liam was alright or whether something had happened because that was a soulmate thing he had always found to be quite strange. Now though, Niall felt like it was the best thing in the entire world.

\---------------------

They pulled the meal off a lot better than Liam would have thought and although he was sure they had missed a few ingredients, they didn’t have to order any dinner afterwards, so that was a start, right? Luckily he had thought of getting Niall’s those cookies he liked from the store because they were definitely not ready to bake or make their own desserts anytime soon. They had barely managed to make a few vegetables and rice taste alright.

“My dad just texted me to ask how we’re doing.” Niall told Liam while they were sitting on the bed and Liam was massaging the younger man’s back after he had told him that he had been sitting on the floor so long today that it felt like everything was out of alignment. Why he had done that was still a mystery to Liam, but he was determined to make Niall feel better. 

“… are you gonna answer?” Liam was never sure if Niall would or not, he usually just seemed to do whatever he felt like at the moment. Which made sense of course, Liam knew that the relationship was very strained still and that it would possibly remain like that forever.

“I might. I’m just afraid he’s gonna want something and then he knows I’m on my phone… that’s the spot.” He sounded excited for a moment when Liam moved his hands and the older man made a mental note of that, paying extra attention to it. “Fuck… I feel so sore.”

“Please don’t sit on the floor anymore.” Liam wanted to sigh but he held back, honestly just feeling bad for Niall.

“I won’t. I could have sat at the table, I just thought it was easier wrapping presents like that… but I learned my lesson. Gift bags sound like a way better idea.” The older man laughed briefly at that, but his amusement didn’t last for very long. “… god, now he texted again. Sometimes I think it’s my mom and she’s just using his phone when he’s not watching or sleeping or something.”

“Do you think she’d do that?” It seemed weird, but then again…

“Definitely, yeah. Especially because he keeps mentioning her and how sorry she is and how much she wishes we could talk it out or whatever. But he just asked if we have any new pictures of the baby and if we already know the gender… they’re gonna buy the ugliest clothes for the baby, I already know. And my mother is going to lose it if the baby ever wears anything else.” Even though Liam couldn’t see Niall’s face right now, he KNEW the younger man was rolling his eyes.

“So you do want them to meet the baby?” Because honestly, Niall seemed to change his mind about that every few days.

“Possibly. I don’t know. I might give them one single chance and if they’re being weird then that’s it. And it can’t be at your house because they can’t know where you live or they’ll show up uninvited all the time…. But it also can’t be at my apartment because I only have two chairs… also, they’ll have a heart attack if they see the place, so… maybe they just shouldn’t meet the baby. I need to think about it.” With that, Niall put his phone away, answering Liam’s question of whether he planned on answering his dad or not.

“Do you still wanna keep your place?” Liam had asked himself that very often, but he had never brought it up again because he knew it gave Niall a sense of security. But now that they were bonded AND getting married… “I mean, I understand if you want to, but you already live here and your place is pretty much empty and you will never have to be afraid anymore that we’ll split up.”

“I wasn’t afraid of that, I was just… being cautious.” Niall shrugged a bit and Liam really got it. It had hurt in the beginning, but how could he have expected the younger man to trust him completely when Liam also couldn’t predict the future? “But now… I kinda forgot I even had another place… I think I’ve gotta wait two months until I can officially move out though. Maybe I’ll call my landlord next week… it seems like a waste of money now. You’re right.”

“You can keep it if you want, babe. I just wanted you to know that for me you live here 100% and it’s as much your house as it’s mine.” Also legally once they’d be married. 

“It’s your house, Li, you worked for it and it’s always gonna be yours… I was just worried before, not because of you or anything, just… I mean, no one knows what could happen. Now though… it would feel really stupid if I still had an apartment once we’re married. Also now to be honest… wait, I’ve not been there in months, it’s probably gotten really dusty and shit… do I have to clean it before I can move out?” That almost made Liam laugh, the disgust in Niall’s voice, but then he suddenly remembered that Niall probably genuinely did not know because he had always only moved out of shared apartments.

“A bit. But I will do that for you, Nialler. It’s one room and the bathroom. And it probably isn’t that bad anyways because you barely have any furniture and no one’s been inside for so long.” Liam couldn’t even remember the last time he had been there, just the very first. That day he had run into Niall at the mall and they had spent the entire weekend together. Right then, something between them had changed, and Liam thought that that had probably been the beginning of him falling for Niall.

“Thank you… I’ll help. I just don’t know in what kinda state I’ll be in in 2 months.” He laughed, but then it seemed to have kinda gotten stuck in his throat. “The baby will almost be here by then… that’s a bit scary to think about.”

“We will be fine, Nialler. We already know how to cook one meal.” Liam tried to make him feel better, still rubbing his back but he leaned forward to press a kiss against the younger man’s shoulder. 

“I’m more talking about the birth and everything around that… I really don’t want it to hurt too bad but I know it will.” His voice sounded a bit shaky and Liam felt really bad for him.

“They can give you something for the pain.” He tried to encourage him even though he already knew how Niall felt about that.

“No, if I can’t feel anything then things could go wrong and I wouldn’t even notice. I’ll probably be fine, it’s just… Harry told me a few horror stories and then he always takes them back and pretends it wasn’t even that bad, but each time he tells me the same…. Maybe I should talk to the doctor again. But he’s always too honest.” That was true, and although Liam appreciated that in a doctor, he was always a bit afraid of how pale Niall got whenever he asked the doctor questions about the birth, probably expecting him to sugar coat it. He never did.

“I really wish I could somehow help or do it for you, but I can’t… I’m sorry you have to go through all of that and I don’t have to do anything at all.” Liam felt guilty for that often, whenever Niall experienced any kind of discomfort because of his pregnancy. But then he also always told Liam that he enjoyed being pregnant and the older man felt better. With the birth though… that was a whole other story.

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine. I’m just nervous. But there’s still time and… I guess I’ll be more stressed out about other things once it happens, sooo… and maybe it will be really short and easy, you never know… right?” He sounded very scared, so Liam made sure to agree immediately.

They both knew that for male omegas births were always a lot harder than for female omegas, statistically speaking. Then again, Liam had literally never thought about this before, not only because he was an alpha, but also because he had never thought of having kids and he hadn’t known anyone who had any. 

“Can you rub my stomach, too? I think my back feels a lot better now.” Niall told Liam after a while and the older man agreed, waiting until Niall had lied down in a comfortable position before half covering him with the blanket, lying next to him, hand on his stomach. “I can feel the baby moving a lot more whenever you’re touching my belly.”

“I’m probably disturbing the baby’s sleep.” Liam joked, feeling a bit proud as well though.

“No. I’m pretty sure the baby knows our voices and it’s happy that you’re here. Which makes two of us.” Niall told him immediately, smiling when their eyes met and before Liam could have reacted, the younger man had put his hand on the side of Liam’s face to pull him in a bit so they could kiss. “Thanks again for getting that cook book and everything… I know I always say I wanna do it but then I never do.”

“You don’t have to say thank you, Nialler… I really wanna learn how to cook as well. I’m just really untalented.” An understatement.

“You were doing great today.” Niall whispered, their lips still almost touching and Liam had to hold back a laugh.

“… remember when I made you food that one time? After you told me you were pregnant? And you couldn’t take two bites and then I tried it and almost had to throw up in the sink?” A very fond memory of Liam’s.

“At least that lightened the mood.” Niall giggled, kissing Liam again. “God, that was a crazy day… I don’t even wanna think about it anymore… I genuinely wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep it or not.”

“I know… “ Liam also didn’t really wanna think about it, the thought that he had found out kinda by accident and that there had been a possibility he might have never found out… “I mean, it was always your choice alone.”

“But I was being unfair, it’s your baby too and it always was. I genuinely thought you would be so angry at me for that stupid pill fiasco… “ Niall let out a quiet laugh and Liam felt a pinch in his stomach that he tried to ignore. He had always hated that Niall had thought that of him back then, but it had been his own fault anyways. “… remember when you fucked me against your office desk?”

“How the hell did you just think of that?” Now Liam had to laugh too, leaning back just a bit to see the younger man grinning at him.

“I don’t know. It was super hot. And when you punished me for sucking you off underneath the table when Zayn came in? That was great.” Liam almost got hot cheeks thinking about that, but he had to admit, it had also really turned him on to do these things. “And when I called you daddy… you loved that.”

“You know I did… “ The older man had to clear his throat a bit, feeling like all of that was years in the past when it had just been a few months,

“You were so bossy and everything… and now you’re like my own human sized teddy bear.” Niall smiled, his expression very soft and fond and Liam just turned redder as the younger man rubbed his thumb across his cheek. 

“Which one, uh- which one did you like better?” Just for research purpose.

“I like everything we do, Li, you know that. We still sometimes do it like we did in the beginning anyways, but I don’t think I could still call you daddy without it feeling inappropriate. I also don’t think I’ll be able to bend over your desk for a long time… “ He talked about it as if it was some kind of science, but then he smiled. “… what we’re doing now is a lot more intimate and it’s not just about getting off like it used to and obviously I like that better. It’s fun sometimes to use toys and stuff… but most of the times it’s just about us being close… right?”

“Right.” Liam agreed, somehow relieved, even though he had already known anyways. They had talked about this before to make sure they were on the same page. “I feel kinda stupid that I asked.”

“Why? It’s good if we talk about these things a lot.” Niall shrugged, kissing him again, and again, until Liam was laughing and they eventually just ended up snogging.

Liam was so in love his heart could have burst any time he thought about how Niall would be his husband soon, and everything that was to come for them in the future, it just felt so exciting and now that they were bonded… Liam knew he had nothing to worry about.

At least nothing concerning their relationship.

\---------------------------

“… good morning, baby.” Liam’s voice sounded kinda far away and Niall was pretty sure he just let out a grunt if anything, burying his face in the pillow again, not wanting to wake up fully just yet even though he could smell food. “Happy birthday, Nialler… “

“Hmm… a few more minutes… “ Niall managed to somehow bring out, hoping Liam had heard him. He could feel the older man’s fingers brushing through his hair, his lips placing soft kisses against Niall’s skin, but it wasn’t enough to keep him from half passing out again.

“Okay… “ Liam gave in, probably because it was Niall’s birthday, but the younger man wasn’t even thinking about that, he just wanted to cuddle into his boyfriend and have a few more minutes of sleep.

No idea how long Niall spent drifting in and out of sleep, sometimes feeling Liam caressing his face and dropping a few kisses, breathing in that smell again but never quite managing to force himself to wake up. Niall only really blinked his eyes open when Liam accidentally dropped something on the bedside table, immediately apologizing quietly, cursing under his breath and almost making the younger man laugh.

“… I think ‘m awake now… “ Niall mumbled, stretching a bit as he had to yawn, the light hurting his eyes as he tried to look at Liam. “Hi… “

“Hi, babe… happy birthday.” Liam told him again, his smile huge as he leaned down to kiss Niall on the mouth. “How’d you sleep?”

“Alright… only had to get up three times to pee for some reason… a present from our baby.” Niall joked, rubbing his eyes as Liam laughed. 

The past few weeks, Niall had really noticed a difference in his belly’s size. He was now at 27 weeks and to say he felt a bit restricted in his movements sometimes was an understatement. It also brought really good things of course, like Liam being able to feel the baby kick if they talked to Niall’s stomach long enough or the older man was stroking it, and Niall having more excuses to ask for massages and foot rubs and also food. 

Still, he was also looking forward to finally meeting their baby and also to feel a bit lighter again. 

“Did you get me breakfast?” Niall could smell it after all, he just didn’t wanna sit up just yet and the older man grinned at him, kissing his forehead.

“I did. I ordered it, don’t worry.” They had been cooking quite a lot lately, but only dinner and lunch, so Niall was actually a bit happy to hear that. “Although I feel like we could totally manage to make our own pancakes and waffles… I just didn’t wanna risk it today.”

“I bet you would’ve done an amazing job.” Niall tried to make him feel better, petting his cheek before sitting up a bit and he was thankful for Liam’s support, for propping the pillow up behind him and staying close to him after getting the tablet full of breakfast for the younger man to enjoy in bed. “You’re amazing, do you know that?”

“’course I do.” Liam was joking, but Niall had truly meant it. He could have never asked for a better birthday morning, or a better birthday in general even though it hadn’t even really started. Just the thought of what they were going to do later though, it almost made it hard for the younger man to stop smiling again.  
They had finally decided on some rings a couple of days ago, but they had been too late to get them resized in time, so they’d just skip that part today because it honestly didn’t even matter. Maybe the girls would be a bit sad, but Harry had already texted Niall a few days ago to show him how excited they were about their dresses, and how they had forced Louis to do their hair already and now demanded it to be made that way every single day.

So clearly, their wedding had something good for everyone. 

“How is it?” Liam asked after Niall had never spoken again because he had gone to heaven eating those pancakes, with way too much whipped cream and Liam luckily having ordered the ones without fruit because Niall was definitely not about that healthy lifestyle right now. 

“Bloody amazing.” Niall told him, getting a forkful to hold in front of his boyfriend’s lips and Liam tried to refuse for only a moment. “It’s my birthday, you have to, Li.”

Liam rolled his eyes a bit, but he did open his mouth and Niall grinned because he could just tell how much the older man was enjoying the pancakes as well. They were just that bloody good, it should have been illegal. 

“We should really learn how to make these ourselves, our kids would never think we can’t cook.” For a moment, Niall thought about how he had randomly spoken in plural, but then he shrugged it off. He felt like it was kinda already decided that they would have more than one child anyways, and Liam didn’t say a word about it either.

“I’ll order a few dessert and baking cookbooks.” He decided and though maybe it was too soon because they hadn’t yet mastered the art of making lunch that didn’t taste either boring or burned… maybe they’d discover their secret passion for baking and it would just come all natural to them? One could hope. “… are you excited about later?”

“I’m so excited you have no idea.” Niall told him immediately, his face probably full of whipped cream as they shared a fond smile and the older man kissed him, possibly only tasting sugar though. “I never thought I’d be this great at planning my own birthday to be the best birthday I ever had.”

“You don’t know it yet, maybe you won’t enjoy being married to me. Maybe my last name will get on your nerves by tomorrow. Or once we get your documents changed.” Liam shrugged, clearly joking around but Niall also wasn’t that sure because he could see something in the older man’s face. 

“Liam.” He started, putting his fork down so he could be serious as he stared at the older man, looking him straight in the eyes. “This is what I want, more than anything. I can’t wait to be married to you and have your last name, it’s the best thing that could have ever happened to me and you can never doubt that, okay? Because you know how I feel about you. How I’ll always feel about you.”

It looked like Liam wanted to say something, he opened his mouth, and then he closed it again, his face a bit red when he put his arm around Niall’s shoulder, kissing him deeply and unexpectedly on the lips, but the younger man immediately found himself getting lost in it as well. “God… I love you so fucking much, Nialler… “

“I know… “ Niall whispered, grinning, his eyes still closed as he kissed Liam again. “I love you too, Liam. Our baby is gonna love you so much as well, and we’ll just… we’ll have the most perfect little family soon.”

“Yeah… we will.” When he agreed, Niall did hear the crack in his voice and it made his own throat tight as they kissed again, the breakfast forgotten for now. 

Luckily, it seemed that Liam had truly not gotten Niall any gifts, although he had ordered some flowers for him that were delivered later and sadly made Liam get out of bed, only to get right back in after putting them in a vase on Niall’s bedside table. It was a really lazy morning, they stayed in bed and cuddled, snogged a bit, Liam sucked Niall off once or twice and they did end up having slow morning sex that was a lot more about them just being close to one another.

Even just now after this, Niall would have declared it his best birthday ever, but there was a lot more to come after all and Liam was also being a bit secretive about being on his phone two times and just smiling at his screen during the morning. Niall decided not to ask, he was sure he’d find out very soon what this had been about, he didn’t wanna ruin Liam’s surprise because he seemed to be so bloody excited about it.

And what more could Niall have asked for, than for his _fiancé_ of a few more hour to be happy and just stay in bed with him, cuddling until they were forced to get dressed if they didn’t wanna be late to their own wedding.

\------------------------

“No one is dressed like for a wedding. Just me and Josie.” Clara realized once they were all sitting down in some hallway, just waiting for the appointment and it felt a bit stupid, but Niall honestly thought it was absolutely hilarious that this was how they were getting married. “… what about the rings? Where are they?”

“We don’t have them yet, love.” Niall explained to her, almost reaching out to pet her head before realizing it would have made her freak out because of her hair, so luckily he held back. “Do you think I’m not dressed for a wedding?”

“Hmm… more than my daddy.” She told Niall with a shrug, looking at Louis who pretended to be very offended while everyone laughed.

To be very fair right now, Clara wasn’t wrong. None of them were wearing real wedding attire, for different reasons. Niall because he couldn’t fit into anything, Harry and Louis because they had had no time left after getting the girls dressed, Zayn because he didn’t own a fancy suit anymore since he wasn’t working for Liam anymore, and Liam himself… well, he did look as if he was getting married as the only one here. 

But Niall was probably very, very biased thinking Liam was just the best looking man he had ever laid his eyes on. What if it was just true though?

“I always thought people get married in a church.” Clara continued, letting her legs dangle a bit because she was way too small for that chair.

“Everyone who marries at the church has to come here, too. The wedding at the church is fake.” Josie explained to her sister and Niall faked a cough so he wouldn’t laugh. “It’s just pretend so that people can fit more people into the room and get more presents.”

“Do you think I married your dad in a church for the presents?” Louis threw in with a raised eyebrow, and Josie seemed lost in thoughts for a moment, as if it was a very hard question. 

“… yes.” She decided in the end, making everyone except Harry and Louis laugh. “Why else?”

So then they went about explaining this to her while Niall just grinned at Liam, putting his head on the older man’s shoulder while they waited for a couple more minutes. This was exactly how he had wanted his wedding day to be like.

Once they were all being called in, Niall felt a little bit numb from all the excitement, not really because of the whole process or anything, but more because of the after.

It went by super fast since they had no vows or things like that, they were basically just there to be told legal things and then sign something, and then Zayn and Louis did as well because Niall had talked to Harry a couple days ago about who to choose as his best man. They had collectively decided that Louis would have probably been crushed had he not been chosen, so here they were.

“Congratulations.” There was maybe only the hint of a smile on the man’s face who had just married them, probably the tenth couple in a row, but Niall took that anyways as he turned to Liam, crushing their lips together without giving the older man a chance to properly react.

It was a bit of an inappropriate kiss, a bit too much tongue and grabbing onto each other, so Niall was just hoping Harry and Louis had thought of covering their daughters’ eyes. If not, then… well, too bad, because they weren’t really on Niall’s mind in that moment.

He could feel Liam’s tears against his own face right before they pulled apart, and of course that made Niall cry as well, all those emotions having built up coming out at once when they were staring at each other before hugging so tightly that the younger man could barely breathe anymore.

They had really done this. Niall was really Niall Payne from this day forward and whatever stupid decisions he had made in the past thinking he had messed it all up, he had just made the best one of his entire life.

\-------------------------

“… a bit anti climatic, but I think it was nice.” Louis commented afterwards, when they had all gone out to eat together because James was with Harry’s parents’ anyways and it seemed they were definitely not that keen on picking him up again. “You saved a lot of time. And you still got what you wanted, so… I think it’s great.”

“Why wouldn’t it be great?” Niall had to laugh because no one had actually asked. Normally, he might have gotten a bit upset, but absolutely nothing could have gotten him upset today. He had not let go of Liam’s hand basically ever since they had left the building, and he wasn’t planning on doing it anytime soon. 

Except, he kinda had to after Louis had just shrugged and Liam had suddenly gotten out his phone.

“I’ll- be right back.” He told Niall out of nowhere, a weird expression on his face and Niall barely had any time to react as Liam kissed him on the lips before walking out of the restaurant, everyone staring after him.

“What’s going on?” Zayn asked, but Niall just shrugged, trying to play down his own confusion and quickly asking Josie a question so everyone would be distracted.

Liam was gone for a really long time, 15 minutes at least, and when he came back, he looked less tense, but Niall could FEEL that something was up when he came to whisper into his ear to come outside with him for a moment.

Of course everyone was even more confused when they left together, but Niall was probably more confused than all of them together.

“Li, what’s going on? Did anything happen?” He was holding the older man’s hand, his _husband’s_ hand, for dear life, suddenly starting to become scared as they stepped outside.

The day had been so wonderful, and now Niall was afraid something was going to ruin absolutely everything. Didn’t help that Liam took his time to answer, just looking at him, taking Niall’s other hand in his as well. 

“Two things… “ Liam started, and then he cleared his throat, a small smile playing around his lips that seemed to be overshadowed by something else though that he seemed to be trying hard not to let Niall see. “Your birthday present is gonna be ready once we’re finished eating.”

“My- I told you not to get me anything.” Niall pouted and the older man laughed, kissing his forehead. “… and the other thing?”

This was when Liam’s face fell again, and he just stared at Niall, and then instead of telling him, he let go of one of Niall’s hands, scrolling through his phone. “You should probably read that for yourself.”

“What is that?” Niall was more than confused when Liam handed him his phone, showing him an email that had been sent a couple hours ago, and once Niall had read it, his eyes had gone wide and he actually needed to read it three more times to realize that this wasn’t a joke. This was REAL. “I… oh my god. I don’t know what to say, Li, I- and today out of all days, I- I can’t believe this guy likes my music, I- I never would have thought anybody would get back to us and… oh my god. Hold shit.”

“Congratulations, baby.” Liam was smiling, and Niall was so shocked and stuck in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice anything off with the other man, not when he pulled him into a hug and not when Liam had to comfort him because Niall started bawling like an idiot a few seconds later. From absolute happiness and excitement of course.

After all, he knew Liam was happy for him, and also happy that they had gotten married and that everything was absolutely perfect today. Why wouldn’t he have been thrilled that Niall would possibly get to actually professionally record an album one day and finally make his career dreams come true?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so late im so sorry ... i hope no one waited up for this chapter. i dont even know what happened! i had to stay late at my internship today and then idek and now its after midnight and i have to wake up in like 5 hours, so thats great D:
> 
> i hope you liked the chapter!! more drama is to come.... the reason i rushed niams wedding is because i am terrible at writing weddings and i also kinda think its a bit boring haha. i still hope you enjoyed it :) and are excited to find out whats wrong with liam, its a random idea i had a couple days ago and now here we are haha :p
> 
> i hope i will get to answer all comments from last week tonight and if i dont please dont think im ignoring you or anything, im just so stressed out :p love you guys <3


	23. Chapter 23

Niall told the others about the email as soon as they got back inside and everyone was hyped up and happy and Liam managed to smile and not let his inner conflict show. Of course he was proud of Niall, of course he was thrilled for him because he KNEW just how much the younger man had wanted this, for years and years, possibly all his life. Especially today, on Niall’s birthday AND the day they had gotten married, it all just kinda seemed to fall into place.

If there hadn’t been this one problem with this entire thing that Liam could have never, ever, told Niall about. Thinking about it rationally, maybe it didn’t even matter all that much, maybe it wasn’t even that big of a deal, maybe… maybe it would all be just fine. Who knew? Liam was surely overreacting, he had surely just been a bit shocked because it had come so out of nowhere, and he hadn’t even meant to check his emails, almost as if he had known.

Sadly, he had done exactly that, and now they were here. 

Liam was fairly good at overplaying his worries though, he tried to focus on Niall’s birthday present instead, a little bit worried as well how the younger man would react to that, but then again… Liam had some great arguments as to why this present had been absolutely necessary. To be fair, he had kinda gotten it for Niall mostly because he felt it was a necessity, but also to make sure that Niall wouldn’t lose his independence, because Liam knew just how afraid he was of that. 

“Thanks again for coming!” Niall was waving as they all parted ways on the parking lot and Liam quickly waved as well before getting in the car, waiting for his _husband_ to do the very same. It was so crazy to think about this now, the fact that they were MARRIED, that Niall had taken his last name, that soon, their baby would have the same name as well. 

Everything got just a little bit overshadowed by everything else going on.

“I can’t believe we got married.” Niall told him as soon as they had both closed the car doors and just sat there for a moment, letting it all sink in. As far as that was even possible. “On my birthday. And that someone actually thinks my music doesn’t suck.”

“I can’t believe it either… except the last part. I can believe that.” Liam quickly added, not even having thought about it, and he felt bad despite the fact that the younger man just started laughing anyways, leaning across the seat to kiss Liam’s cheek.

It was hard for him to do that now because of how pregnant he was, but Liam kinda thought that the further along he was, the more was he also glowing and obviously getting more excited to meet the baby. There were of course also very scary parts that came with that, especially for Niall, but Liam knew that they both couldn’t wait.

“I know what you meant, don’t worry.” He had reached out to hold Liam’s hand and the older man smiled at him, still not having started the engine yet. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Nialler. I’m so happy we did this, it somehow feels like it was long overdue.” They hadn’t met too long ago if Liam thought about, just under a year, but it felt so very different, as if they had been together for 10 years or something. Or as if they had always been meant to end up marrying and bonding and that maybe deep down, they had known.

“It’s so crazy… “ Niall was shaking his head slowly with a grin and Liam felt a rush of fondness overcoming him, for the moment completely forgetting about this email he had received about Niall’s music. The reason he had received it was because he had been the one who had sent it in Niall’s name but from his own email address a while ago upon the younger man’s request, otherwise, Liam might have not known any details right now. Details he hadn’t even wanted to know to begin with. “… Li?”

“Hm?” Liam made, not being able to resist his urges so he leaned over to kiss the younger man before letting him ask his question.

“What, uh, what was my present that you talked about before?” Right.

That made Liam grin as he shrugged, kissing Niall again, squeezing his hand tightly as he leaned back. “I think it will be better if we just drive home and I’ll show you.” 

“It’s at home?” He was clearly very confused about that and Liam just laughed, still nervous about this, but at the same time very excited.

The phone call he had taken had been about that, and he had had this planned for a little bit now, but he had still been asking Niall if he wanted anything else though, just to make sure because Liam would have actually bought him the entire world if he could have. Then again, he had already known that the younger man would have never in his life told Liam if he had wanted something.

“Yeah. I had it delivered while we were away.” The older man explained and he could see Niall’s mind running wild trying to figure it all out. There was absolutely no way he would guess it though, mostly because Liam knew Niall would have never expected a present like this from him. Or anyone.

“You’re kinda scaring me.” Niall admitted as soon as Liam had started the engine, having pulled his hand away for the moment so he could navigate the car out of their parking spot. “Do I need to be scared, Li?”

“No, just excited.” Liam promised him with a wink that didn’t really seem to do much for Niall and Liam reached back over, putting his hand on the younger man’s thigh. “I know you’ll like it. Just don’t be mad at me, okay?”

“Mad? Why would I be mad? That’s not calming at all.” Niall whined while Liam laughed, enjoying the suspense a little bit too much. But they’d be home in like 15 minutes anyways and Liam KNEW Niall would be mad at him, but hopefully only for a little bit before he’d be able to be happy and excited about it. 

“Just think about your music deal until we’re home.” Liam suggested without really thinking about it. It did give him a bit of a sting, but he was of course also very happy and proud of Niall and he really did not want the younger man to feel what was going on inside of him and draw the wrong conclusions. Their connection was very deep and their bond still kinda fresh, so Liam wanted to be careful and not ruin this for Niall.

“It’s not a real deal yet… he just wrote he wants to meet and talk about it.” Niall was probably trying to contain his excitement, not make himself any false hopes. “… do you know this guy? Is he a friend of that producer we met with?”

“I don’t know if they’re friends, but I guess they kinda have to be.” Unless this man had received all of Niall’s music and information through someone else, but Liam kinda doubted it.

Suddenly he was really glad that Harry had decided not to work with this director. Or had at least put a stop to the project for now, although Liam doubted it would ever come up again. After all, Harry’s hesitation had been more than just obvious even before they had ever even gone to Greece and after he and Niall had talked about it, they both agreed that Harry had simply said yes so the two of them would get to spend some time together. In hindsight, Liam was more than grateful of course, and now that they were literally married, he could admit to Niall just how long he had been in love with him.

“But do you know him?” Niall asked after Liam had avoided the question on purpose.

“Not personally, no. I’ve heard his name before.” Liam explained slowly, careful not to make Niall suspicious or say anything weird. “Do you wanna answer him right now?”

“No, I think we can wait until tomorrow, right? I mean, this is exciting and all, but it’s my birthday AND our wedding day. And he won’t change his mind just because some people don’t check their emails every day.” Niall shrugged and Liam smiled, relaxing a bit.

“I do check my emails every day.” He told Niall with a laugh. “Multiple times a day.”

“I know that, but this man doesn’t, does he?” Fair enough. “… can you at least give me a hint about the present?”

“Babe, you will see it in just a few minutes and-“

“Please.” Niall sounded very desperate and it was highly amusing to Liam, plus, he was really happy that they had switched the topic. Not that that would help anything because the problem wasn’t out of the world of course, they had just delayed it until tomorrow. And even then, there was no way to solve this anyways and Liam was aware that it would all come out eventually, he was just hoping that none of his fears about it would become reality.

“Okay. It’s something you don’t have.” And probably never had had, but first, Liam didn’t wanna make any assumptions, and second, he was a little bit afraid that Niall would actually guess it if he told him.

“That’s… not at all helpful.” The younger man complained, crossing his arms in front of his chest while Liam just laughed. “Give me another one.”

“I can’t or you might guess it.” Liam told him truthfully, because he really could not think of another single hint he could have given Niall that wouldn’t have made it obvious. Or wouldn’t have been equally as useless. “We’re gonna be home in 10 minutes, Nialler.”

“But am I gonna like it?” Right, he was probably still confused because Liam had told him he might be mad at him, that hadn’t been the smartest move. 

“I hope so.” Eventually he had to… right?

“I told you not to get me anything.” Niall was fake pouting now, but it was just amusing Liam even more if he was being honest. No idea how someone could be so bloody cute at all times, but here Niall was. 

“And you really thought I’d stick to that?” It was kind of an honest question, but then again, Liam knew that deep down Niall had known he’d get him a present. How could he have not gotten him anything? “You can see it as a wedding gift, if that makes you feel better.”

“No, because I don’t have a wedding gift for you in return, that only makes it worse.” Right, Liam shouldn’t have started this. “I thought our wedding gifts for each other were our rings.”

“They were, I was just kidding. It’s a birthday present, okay? And you will love it.” Liam decided to change his mind, even though he knew it would take some warming up before Niall would be able to actually appreciate the gift and not want to yell at Liam out of shock. Maybe also a bit out of anger, who knew?

“I’m scared.” Niall sounded very honest, but he still took Liam’s hand into his when the older man reached over, nervously playing with his fingers instead for the next few minutes that it took them to get home.

The younger man did try to get Liam to give him more hints, but the older man was keeping his lips sealed, very amused about the fact that Niall was getting so into it. It was kind of a really nice distraction from this whole music deal thing, and it helped Liam to just focus on what was important right now and today. 

And that was just Niall, and nothing and nobody else in this world.

Liam had to admit he was getting very nervous once he pulled into his street and he might have gone a bit slower on purpose. The thing was though, there really was no time to prepare Niall or to take another breath as he stopped briefly in front of the gate, opening it from inside the car with a button.

The moment the gate opened and they were driving up the driveway, obviously Niall spoke up immediately. To Liam’s surprise though, it still took the younger man another moment to connect the dots.

“Is that the housekeeper’s car? I always thought she was driving that small red one.” He seemed very confused, probably wondering why Liam’s housekeeper would have even been here in the first place when she already came a lot less than she had whenever Liam had been living alone. It’s not that they did so much cleaning themselves now, it was more that they were both home more and wanted to be alone.

Liam tried not to laugh as he stopped the car, not inside the garage but right next to the other car before looking at his husband. “It’s not her car.”

“Oh. Then whose is it? Did you invite anyone, is that the surprise?” Niall kept asking and they looked at each other, actually for quite a while because Liam never said anything at all, he just waited, and waited, and then finally, Niall suddenly put a hand over his mouth, his eyes going wide. “No, you didn’t. Liam!”

“Happy birthday.” Liam told him with a smile, a little worried for the younger man’s reaction, but he had kinda expected it to be extreme anyways. 

“Li, I- you can’t- I can’t accept it. What were you thinking?!” Niall still sounded more surprised than mad, he had dropped his hand now, looking outside of the window at the car and then back at Liam, mouth still dropped. “It’s a _car_. A bloody massive one. I can’t- why did you do that?!”

“Because you will need a car at some point, babe. Look, I knew you were gonna freak out and possibly get mad, but hear me out.” Liam made sure to say it quickly because he could tell the younger man was about to interject. He seemed very unwilling to listen though, still shocked and completely not happy about it. Yet. “Look, we’re about to have a baby. We’re not going to both always be home, especially if one of us is at work and one of us is with the baby. And in the future too, once the baby is older and it goes to kindergarten and school and everything. I know you have a license and that you’ve not driven a car in years, but I’ll practice with you and everything, and we don’t have to do that until after the baby is here. I just really think it’s important for you, also to stay independent, and of course if there’s an emergency or something like that. It wasn’t me thinking I’ll just get you a car because I can, I think you really need one and I knew you would’ve never accepted one if it wasn’t for your birthday or another occasion.”

“I might not accept it for my birthday either… “ Niall mumbled, but he sounded very unsure now as he looked back out of the window to stare at the car, as if it was some kinda foreign object. “Just… why’d you have to get a massive one like that? How much was it?”

“I’m not telling you that.” Liam laughed at Niall’s face after that, reaching across the seats to caress the younger man’s cheek and luckily Niall didn’t pull away. “I didn’t just wanna get you any car, I want you to be safe. And the kids of course. Also, maybe we’ll get a dog at some point, it has to fit too, right?”

“Those are really bad points you’re making right now.” Niall told him as Liam grinned and the younger man rolled his eyes at him, but then he sighed. “I don’t wanna accept it, but… I know you’re right. About me needing a car at some point.”

“I’m always right.” Liam joked, but Niall didn’t deny it, he just sighed again, leaning against the older man’s hand still against his face. “So?”

Niall needed another moment, just breathing before he leaned closer and Liam met him half way so he wouldn’t have to stretch so much, kissing him gently before Niall whispered against his mouth. “Thank you… seriously, I- I don’t even know what to say. It’s way too much, I know you know how I feel about this, but also… you’re right about me needing a car when we have the baby and in the future, so… thank you, Li. So much and-“

“Babe, you don’t need to say thank you so many times. I’m just really happy you’re accepting it and that you’re not mad at me.” Liam told him quickly before kissing him again, and then also both his cheeks and his forehead until the younger man was finally laughing again and Liam decided to just risk it all. “So, do you wanna go on a test drive? I’ll drive, but you can as well if you want to of course, it’s completely yours.”

“So if I crash it, it’s also entirely my fault?” Niall asked, laughing, and well… “I think maybe you should drive then, I’m gonna need a little bit until I’m ready to practice driving again.” 

“Okay. But we don’t have to do it now, we can also do it later, or tomorrow, anytime you want.” Just so Niall knew, even if Liam REALLY wanted to show him the car.

“No, I can see how excited you are, I wanna do it now.” The younger man smiled, that really soft smile that made Liam’s knees weak each time. Luckily he wasn’t standing up right now. “When did you even go and do this?”

“I spoke on the phone a lot with the place where I always bring my cars to get repaired and where I got mine, and then I went to look at a few when you were with Harry or Louis a while ago already. I’ve had this planned for weeks.” And now Liam would have to change the code of his gate because he had given it to the people who he had bought the car from to bring it here, but it had been way worth it anyways. “You know, if you don’t like the car or the color-“

“Li, that would never happen.” Well, Liam had already known that, but he was just giving Niall options here. “If you like the car better than yours, we could also switch.”

“No, we won’t. I want you to have a new one and one where I know nothing at all needs to be fixed.” If Liam had wanted a new car, he would have gotten one, but he wasn’t going to say that of course. “Unless you wanna switch.”

“No, I have no idea what to look for in a car and I don’t care what it looks like, that’s why I said you shouldn’t have gotten me such an expensive one.” He was whining again, but Liam just laughed at him, briefly grabbing the younger man’s chin between his thumb and forefinger as he kissed him again. 

“But I really wanted to.” He shrugged, his lips against the corner of Niall’s mouth before leaning back so they could finally get out of the car and look at the other one.

Niall looked very intimidated once they were standing in front of his car but he chuckled when Liam held the passenger side open for him. The car smelled very new from the inside, the seats were leather and Liam was aware that this would probably prove to have been a mistake once they had kids in there and possibly pets, but he was 99% sure that this was Niall’s first car and he had wanted to make it special. 

“This is… crazy.” Niall seemed completely overwhelmed once they were both sitting down, and Liam had to admit he was more than happy about it. Especially the last part. This was going a LOT better than he would have thought. “If I wasn’t so pregnant I’d totally have sex with you right now.”

“I thought you didn’t like car sex.” They had done it a couple times, but Niall had always been uncomfortable because of the position and they had just ended up laughing most of the time. Not to say it hadn’t been good or anything, but not their preferred location.

“But I’d still have sex with you in _this_ car.” Niall told him, sounding very serious about it and Liam felt happy that it seemed that he had made a good choice with the car. Then again, he was also aware that Niall would have probably said this regardless of the type of car. 

“In a few months.” Liam decided, although once the baby was here, they probably wouldn’t have a lot of time to do things like that anymore, which was really the only downside to it all. Then again, they’d get their own baby in exchange, and that was way better anyways. “Okay, where’d you wanna go?”

“Anywhere is good.” Niall smiled, running his fingers over the insides of the car as if he couldn’t believe that it was real. Good. “But don’t go too fast please, or I might puke.”

“I’d never.” Liam joked, because he had done that in the past and Niall had HATED it, so he had quickly started to stick more to the speed limit whenever Niall was with him. Or anytime really, after the younger man had expressed his concern and told Liam he was worried something might happen to him, which Liam had taken to heart.

Liam just drove them around the neighborhood for a bit, and also outside the city because they didn’t live close to the center anyways. It was about half an hour of just bliss, of them talking about their wedding and the car and the baby and everything in between, and Liam almost wished that he would just never have to drive them back home again, that they could stay in here, just the two of them, for as long as they wanted.

Niall needed a bathroom at some point though, and because they had had their appointment only in the afternoon and had then gone out to eat and everything, the day was slowly coming to an end anyways. And Liam knew that meant he’d have to face problems regarding Niall’s music deal soon, but he didn’t wanna think about that anymore. Not tonight.

Niall had a bit more birthday cake before they went upstairs, he didn’t wanna take a bath so Liam instead massaged his back in the shower, kissing him afterwards until the younger man complained that his back was kind of killing him again from standing up. So yeah, Liam’s massage had been for nothing at all it seemed, but the younger man looked more than happy once they were both in bed, never having bothered to put on any clothes. 

“Give me your hand.” Niall sounded a bit hectic as he grabbed a hold of Liam’s hand, holding it against his stomach so Liam could feel the baby kick a bit. It didn’t happen all too often, so Liam was still amazed each and every time that it happened. “It’s been moving a lot today… probably because of everything going on.” 

Liam smiled to himself, feeling a bit emotional as he leaned forward to kiss Niall’s belly and the younger man ran his fingers through his hair. “I wonder who it’ll look like more.”

“Hopefully you.” Niall laughed, but Liam knew he meant it because he had said it a lot and the older man didn’t really enjoy hearing him say it so seriously.

“I hope it looks like a good mixture of both of us.” Liam settled for that instead of trying to talk Niall out of this because he knew there was no use. The younger man was absolutely gorgeous and Liam always told him, but Niall never seemed to believe him, which did bother Liam, but there was nothing he could have done. Except for trying to remind his boyfriend as often as somehow possible. “I just know it’s gonna be the cutest baby ever, that’s out of the question.”

“I think so too… “ Niall mumbled, still running his fingers through the older man’s hair. “Kiss me, Li… “

And so Liam did, keeping his hand against Niall’s stomach for a bit longer as he stretched to connect their lips, softly at first but then quickly deepening it as he felt both of them getting more desperate. They hadn’t been able to kiss like this since after they had gotten married and even though their quick snog right after had been a bit daring in front of everyone else, it didn’t come close to this of course.

Just the two of them in their bed, with nothing else planned for the day except spending time with each other. 

Kissing Niall made Liam forget absolutely everything in this world, no matter how many times they made out, it always felt like the very first time, that excitement and the butterflies, they never left. Actually the complete opposite, because now that they had bonded and gotten married, Liam felt everything even more intense than before as their tongues were sliding against one another like so many times before.

He kissed down the younger man’s neck once they were running out of air, gently kissing over their bonding mark on Niall’s skin even though he knew it wasn’t hurting anymore. It usually healed very quickly but it had bled a lot and Liam had panicked for a moment then.

When he reached the younger man’s nipples, Liam took his time again, only really touching when he heard Niall letting out a content sigh, his fingers curling into Liam’s hair, pulling a bit but at the same time keeping him close as he wrapped his lips around his nipple. Liam knew not to suck too hard and keep it light, his fingers just dancing over the other side before he switched places and the younger man was moaning quietly above him. 

Liam also took extra much time kissing down Niall’s stomach before crawling back up so they could look at each other once more, not going as low as Niall would have probably wanted him to, but Liam just needed to tell him how he felt right now. 

“I still can’t believe you’re Niall Payne now… it’s so surreal to even say it out loud.“ Honestly, it sounded really damn good, and not just because it was Liam’s last name, just because it was true.

“I’m gonna need ages to get used to it if anyone asks.” Niall laughed quietly, pulling Liam’s head closer to his until their noses were brushing and their breath was mixing. “I’m gonna need to go get all my documents changed… “

“There’s no rush… well, I’d like to change your name in the firm as soon as possible though.” No one had even known that they were together, and although there had been rumors, Liam was pretty sure that some people would be shocked. Then again, he didn’t really care, they weren’t friends with his employees, or Niall’s coworkers in this case, so Liam almost had to laugh at the thought of them struggling not to know who’d respond if they called either of them Mr. Payne.

Felt pretty damn good living with that knowledge.

“Maybe you can ask the motivated guy to do it… “ Niall suggested, clearly as a joke, and Liam had to let out a laugh before he crashed their lips back together, licking into the younger man’s mouth immediately to deepen the kiss again for just a moment.

“You’re everything to me, Nialler… “ He was, and so much more, and Liam could have never ever put it into words, but he knew that Niall knew, that he could feel it. “I love you so much, you have no idea.”

“I do, Li… I love you too.” The younger man smiled briefly before they kissed again and Liam intertwined their fingers next to Niall’s head as they snogged.

With Niall’s growing belly, it was a bit harder to have sex nowadays, but they always somehow managed. Liam let his hand slip after a while, down Niall’s side, caressing his skin before he reached the blanket and pushed it away from the younger man’s lower half. He didn’t immediately go for it, letting his fingers ghost around the area he knew Niall wanted to be touched at until the younger man let out a desperate whine against his lips.

Liam only jerked him off briefly because he could feel how hard the younger man already was, could hear it in his moans how close he was, and Liam really didn’t want this to be over too soon. It was a little bit hard for him to part from the younger man, even if it was just for the few seconds where he hastily wanked himself a couple times and moved between the younger man’s thighs, pushing his legs apart as he lined himself up with Niall’s already leaking hole.

It still worked for now but Liam doubted they’d be having sex like this much longer the closer Niall got to giving birth. Already it was kind of a challenge, but they still managed to kiss as Liam started to thrust inside the younger man before pulling back out, his rhythm slow for now, wanting to really feel everything and drag it out. 

Niall’s fingers were digging into Liam’s skin leaving marks and scratches as always, but it was the kinda dull pain that made all of this even better than it already was to begin with. When the younger man was clenching around him, Liam went a little bit harder and faster, their mouths kinda slipping off of each other and they just kinda breathed against one another.

“Fuck… right there… “ Niall moaned when Liam finally found his prostate, having lifted one of the younger man’s legs a bit to get a better angle. Liam could feel the stretch getting more as his knot was swelling, and though it wouldn’t tie them together anymore until after Niall had given birth and some time had passed, it was still getting bigger, pressing against the younger man’s inner walls.

Liam opened his eyes when he could tell that Niall was close, his own face feeling sweaty and hot as he stared down at Niall’s, the way he was biting his bottom lips except for whenever he was letting a moan escape, his eyes pressed closed as he clung to Liam. 

He looked like an absolute angel to Liam and the older man was desperate to make him come and watch him ride out his orgasm. 

“Niall… look at me.” Liam barely brought it out as he kept pushing inside the younger man, and Niall opened his eyes just in time as he was pushed over the edge.

“ _Liam_ … “ His voice was only a breath and Liam stared down at him for just a moment, watching him come before pressing his mouth on top of Niall’s, chasing his own orgasm while working the younger man through it.

It was so bloody good, Liam felt a bit numb right after but also as if he had never been happier in his entire life. This was his _husband_ and his soulmate and no matter what would happen, they’d always have one another now, they’d be tied together forever. 

Because of Niall’s belly, Liam didn’t lie on top of him like he always used to, he kept his weight on his elbows even when his arms got a bit shivery, kissing Niall some more as they were both slowly coming down from it before Liam pulled out, half collapsing next to the younger man in bed. They were lying so close that their skin was brushing and Liam made sure to blindly search for Niall’s hand to intertwine their fingers, bringing them up to his mouth so he could kiss the younger man’s. 

“Fuck, I love you.” Liam was busy catching his breath, but he still had to say it, and he heard the younger man laughing breathlessly next to him.

“I love you too, Li… “ He turned a bit until he could kiss Liam’s bare shoulder, letting his lips linger for a bit. “… can you reach the blanket? ‘m kinda cold now… “

“Yeah, one second.” Liam immediately moved upon having heard Niall say this, slowly pulling his hand away and half sitting up to somehow untangle the blanket and cover the both of them, making sure to pull the younger man closer with his arm under Niall’s head. “Better?”

“Much.” Niall told him immediately and Liam could hear the smile in his voice as he let his cheek rest against the younger man’s head, hugging him close. “This was truly the best birthday ever… I’m so glad we didn’t do anything this morning except staying in bed. I know you felt bad, but like… this was exactly what I wanted. Just you.” 

“But you can always have me, it’s not special.” Liam joked, but he kinda regretted it immediately when Niall suddenly lifted his head to look down at him, almost angry now.

“How can you say that? You’re the most special to me, I don’t take any of this for granted. I still can’t believe we’re married and bonded and that you feel the same as me. It’s almost like a really good dream. Except I never have to wake up.” The older man’s throat felt a bit tight as he stared at Niall, slowly reaching out to cup his cheek in one of his palms, gently rubbing his thumb across the younger man’s skin and Niall closed his eyes for a moment. “So don’t call yourself not special, Li.”

“Sorry… “ Liam meant it, although he didn’t see himself as special, he just thought he wouldn’t have wanted Niall to say this about himself either. 

“I forgive you. But just because you’re so cute.” Niall smiled as he opened his eyes and Liam felt his face getting a bit hotter as the younger man started to place kisses everywhere across his face, completely out of nowhere. “Thank you again for the car… “

“I told you, you don’t have to say thank you anymore. You really needed a car.” Liam argued, finally managing to catch Niall’s lips in a real kiss. “How long have you not driven one?”

“Ages. And even when I was still used to driving, I’ve never driven much, only occasionally. But I never got a speeding ticket.” He sounded very proud, and Liam wasn’t sure if he was indirectly playing on how many times Liam had had to pay a speeding ticket, but probably. “I mean… I’ve still been a danger in the street though, because I was going too slowly… and I’ve forgotten all the rules too.”

“I’ll practice with you, you’ll be back at driving in no time. And we’ll go through everything, it’ll be fun.” Hopefully, but Liam really wanted Niall to say yes and do this with him, so he kinda had to say that. Even if the younger man didn’t seem to be very convinced. “We can wait until after the baby is here… although… that might not be the best idea.”

“We’ve still got weeks until then anyways. I have to sleep over it first.” Niall decided, which sounded kind of like he meant it, but Liam just grinned, knowing damn well that the younger man really did not want to get behind the wheel of a car anytime soon. “You know what else I was thinking about?”

“Hm?” Liam made, running his fingers through Niall’s hair as the younger man put his head back down onto his shoulder.

“All the songs and stuff that I put online, and also the email to that guy, it’s all under my old last name. Do you think I should change all of that? Like, just change all of my social media?” A good question, also one that Liam would have answered completely differently had he not read the email he had received today regarding a music contract. 

“I mean… you can. If you want to.” Obviously, because legally, it was Niall’s last name now. And under every other circumstance, Liam would have really wanted him to change his last name, except… “But isn’t it like… you know, when artists give themselves names? Or how actors don’t really change their names in public even if they get married?”

“Hmm… yeah. Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’d be weird. But I’m also not famous or anything, but whatever I tell this guy will probably stick. I mean, if anything really comes out of it… and then again, it probably won’t be something super big, so it probably won’t even matter.” Niall shrugged, clearly just trying not to make himself any false hopes and Liam felt bad as he squeezed him, kissing the top of his head. “I’ll think about that when it’s time… “

“It’s now your last name, you can do whatever you want.” Just so he knew, but Liam also didn’t wanna encourage him to do this because, well, it would surely cause problems. And Liam couldn’t tell Niall that, because it’d ruin absolutely everything for the younger man. “You could even have a double name.”

“No, I want your last name, on everything. I was just thinking because of my music… not like so many people know me. Or anyone, really, just the ones who hired me for gigs ages ago.” He shrugged a bit, Liam could feel it because Niall was basically almost on top of him. “I’ll decide spontaneously.”

“Sounds like a good idea.” Liam agreed immediately, not too keen on getting into this right now, he just wanted this day to end just as good as it had started out to be. “Are you tired?”

“Hmm… a bit. You? If you’re not, we could discuss some more baby names, because we’re slowly running out of time.” Niall laughed, but Liam knew he was actually being serious and they ended up doing exactly that, probably for over an hour.

Niall fell asleep before Liam, like usually, and the older man just held him for a while, listening to him breathing and just feeling his body against his own, underneath the cocoon of warmth they had created for themselves, trying to take in everything that had happened today.

There was so much positivity and so much happiness and Liam wasn’t going to let it be ruined by this email, he was determined not to let Niall know and stress him out for nothing because surely, everything would be just fine. It always turned out to be fine somehow, right?

\------------------------

“Yeah, I’d love to meet.” Niall had been on the phone for minutes now and Liam was just watching him walk up and down the office while he was packing his things, very slowly because there was no need to rush anyways. “Yeah, sounds good, I-… right, yeah.”

There were multiple things going through Liam’s head, but he was trying to ignore them all and just focus on the main factor here: Niall was finally getting what he had wanted for so long and Liam was more than just excited and happy for him and he would tell him exactly that.

They didn’t spend nearly as much time in the office anymore as they used to, and Liam was really enjoying it. He had been able to give away some work to other employees, who had been more than just willing to take over and get paid extra, so it seemed everyone was winning in this situation. Liam knew that once the baby was here, they’d both spend even less time here, but it was what they both wanted.

And also, Liam had been thinking about maybe taking up writing again now that he had less work to do at the office. This time, it wouldn’t be something inspired by his own life though, because those books were done and finished and it had been like therapy to Liam, although he wasn’t 100% sure that he had been able to really get over everything that had happened.

Then again, he doubted that that was even possible considering how much had happened, and for how long it had been going on. 

“Okay, see you soon. Bye.” When Niall hung up his phone, he had a massive grin on his face that gave Liam butterflies from just watching his husband. They had only gotten married yesterday, so it still felt weird to even think that word but Liam just couldn’t stop doing it because it just made him so happy.

“When are you meeting with them?” Liam asked as soon as Niall had put away his phone and the older man walked around the table, smiling as he went to hug Niall, kissing the side of his head as he rubbed his back.

“In two weeks, they’ve actually got one of their buildings in this city, that’s so fucking surreal. Do you wanna come?” For just a second, Liam almost froze, but then he told himself to get it the fuck together and relax, not wanting to alarm the younger man.

“If you want me to come.” He decided in the end, because YES, he really wanted to come, he just wasn’t sure if it was a good idea.

“I’d always want you to come anywhere with me.” Niall explained and Liam smiled a bit to himself, feeling a little sad at the same though as he held the other man a bit more tightly. “… you okay, Li?”

“’course. I’m really proud of you, baby. I always knew you were gonna have your breakthrough one day.” Liam kinda meant it, because he genuinely thought Niall’s music was brilliant. Not that he could have been the judge of that, but… 

“Oh, stop it…. I could have never done this without you. If we hadn’t gone to Greece… none of this would have ever happened. And also, nothing has happened yet, maybe he just wants to talk and then we don’t even get along, who knows.” He shrugged again before pulling back a bit, and Liam let him, a bit unwilling, both of them still holding onto the other though and Niall cocked his head a bit. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Liam smiled, kissing Niall on the lips, a little bit to hide his face for just a moment. “I’m really happy for you, Ni. I hope it’s going to work out exactly how you want it to.”

“Thank you… I kinda don’t even really know how I want it to turn out though.” He admitted, letting out a brief laugh, his arms still loosely around Liam’s neck, playing with his hair in the back as he looked into his eyes, and then over his shoulder. “I mean, I’m really excited, but not as excited as for our baby. And not as excited as I was to marry you.”

“There’s no need to make it into a comparison, Nialler. If this is what you want then you should go and get it and try whatever it takes to make it work, okay? If it’s meant to be, you know… “ Liam shrugged a bit, letting his forehead softly knock against the younger man’s. “I’ll always support you, no matter what happens. I promise.”

“Thank you, Li… I’m excited but also a bit nervous. And at the same time I’m like… I just wanna see where it goes and if nothing comes out of it I’m gonna be fine as well.” He sounded very confident saying that, but Liam wasn’t all too sure what would happen if this would become reality, but he refrained from saying it of course. “Who knows, maybe I’ll be like Harry and decide I don’t even want a lot of people to know about my music.”

“Whatever you decide is okay, babe. Just think about it and listen to what these people have to say, you can always change your mind.” Liam tried to encourage him as he rubbed his nose against Niall’s before kissing him, a bit longer than planned and Niall just hummed against his lips.

They could have already left 20 minutes ago, but then Niall had gotten this call and now here they were, snogging in the middle of Liam’s office, probably about to be late to their doctor’s appointment to check for the baby, but Liam quickly decided that they were always way too early anyways and then had to wait. 

Snogging his husband in his office was a bit higher on his list of priorities right now.

\------------------------

“Uncle Liam, I’m still hungry.” Clara was whining next to Liam, pulling on his shirt while he was busy doing the washing up. 

“You had two whole plates, love.” Liam reminded her before internally scolding himself because who was he to tell her that she couldn’t be hungry anymore? “Do you want some fruit?”

“Hmm… what kinda fruit?” The little girl asked and Liam smiled a bit, putting down the dish towel in favor of picking Clara up and sitting her down on the counter next to him so she could see the fruit bowl. “I want a banana.”

“Okay, do you want me to cut it up or can you eat it like this?” She seemed unsure herself, but after Liam had peeled the banana for her and handed it to her, she looked very content eating it like this while watching him clean some more dishes, her mouth fall as she spoke. “Thamk you.”

“You’re welcome, love.” Liam laughed at the big bites she was taking, filling her mouth completely and barely being able to chew.

They had the girls for the entire day while Harry and Louis were doing some routine doctor check ups with James and Niall and Liam were always really happy for some practice. Niall was watching a movie with Josie on the other side of the room, eating the cookies that Niall and Liam had needed 3 attempts to make last night and had then still turned out to be semi-burned.

Tomorrow was Niall’s meeting with this music producer, and the longer Liam thought about it, the more worried did he get. Also because everything else in life was just going so fucking perfectly right now, they were married, they were happy, Niall had actually already driven the car a few times by now and was doing so much better than they had both feared. 

But he was also almost 30 weeks pregnant, his belly was still growing, and Liam was honestly a little bit terrified of what would happen at this meeting. The meeting he was supposed to come along to even though he knew it would’ve been the most terrible idea. Then again… maybe all of this was a terrible idea to begin with, maybe Liam should have just deleted the email, but… he couldn’t have done that to Niall, he couldn’t have taken that away from him.

“When is your baby gonna be here?” Clara asked after having finished her banana, kinda helping Liam to dry the dishes but also not really doing anything at all.

“Really soon. But it’s gonna take a little while longer.” Possibly even 10 more weeks, but Liam didn’t wanna think about that too much because he wasn’t sure if Niall would manage if that was the case. He always told Liam he enjoyed being pregnant but that he also couldn’t wait until the baby was out and he could finally move a bit more freely again. “But the baby’s bedroom is almost ready.”

“Do you still not know if it’s a girl or a boy?” Of course that was all she cared about, Liam almost had to laugh because honestly, he should have known. It was always the same.

“We’ll find out when it’s here. It’s a surprise.” Liam explained to her, but Clara remained unimpressed. “Are you excited to go back to kindergarten?”

“A bit. But I also don’t wanna be away from my daddies all day again. I just wanna see my friends but I can also see them when there is no kindergarten. I wish James was already older because my daddies said we can’t have any friends over for a bit because we’re too loud.” Well, Liam could imagine that only too well. 

“But you can go visit your friends instead, right? That’s fun too, isn’t it?” Liam kept asking, and Clara thought about for a moment, but she did nod a little bit in the end, so at least that was something. 

“I wanna go and watch the movie.” She told Liam after a second, and Liam reached out for her to put her back on the floor. “But I want you to come watch, too.”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes, alright? Can you save me a spot?” Liam asked with a smile and the little girl nodded, looking just a bit disappointed, but she did walk over to the couch in the end while Liam finished doing the dishes.

Niall had tried to help him, and so had both of the girls, but Liam had insisted that they’d watch a movie instead and that he would do all of this by himself tonight. He was very reluctant about letting Niall do anything at all lately except walking, because he was so paranoid about anything happening to him or the baby.

Everything was fine, and they had it confirmed by the doctor, but who knew? Harry had been completely fine as well when he had slipped on that toy.

Liam tried to hurry up so he could join the movie, and Clara had genuinely saved him a space, but she also ended up crawling right onto Liam’s lap the moment he had sat down. Liam didn’t at all mind of course, he just moved closer towards Niall, putting an arm around him as well and the younger man looked as if he would fall asleep literally any second, but he still briefly smiled up at him, cuddling into his side.

It was really nice to play with the girls and do activities, but Liam also didn’t mind if they were just here watching a movie in silence and he got to cuddle with Niall. Plus, the house was already a mess anyways, at least the downstairs area, because they had let the girls play catch and then they had done some drawings and had attempted to play a board game, and now they were finally on the couch, a little bit exhausted.

When Harry and Louis came to pick up the girls, Liam could barely force himself to go and open the door for them, asking them to come inside because the movie wasn’t finished yet and the girls would have just been whining if they had been forced to leave now.

“Everything okay?” Liam asked, looking down at James in his carrier that Louis had in his hand. The little boy was making some noises and it seemed as if he was smiling a bit, so of course Liam was already completely gone for him again.

“He’s healthy as a horse.” Louis told him with a laugh, right before handing the carrier to Liam. “Can you hold him for a second?”

Obviously Liam could, but instead he just put the carrier on the floor while Harry and Louis were taking off their shoes, working on getting James out and into his arms. He hadn’t held him in so long, it should’ve been illegal.

“Did you tire the girls out so much or do they really not care that we’re here?” None of the girls had come running over to greet them, Josie had simply waved at them right before her eyes had been glued to the telly again. 

“I think maybe both.” Liam told him honestly, a lot more focused on James right now. “C’mere little one. Wow, look at your outfit today, that’s really special.”

“I picked that out.” Louis threw in, but judging by Harry’s face, he hadn’t, and Liam just grinned as the other man rolled his eyes. “Hey, if you wanna practice a bit, I think his diaper needs to be changed.”

“I literally changed it before we left the doctor.” Harry answered before Liam, who felt a bit relieved because, well… he HAD changed James’ diaper before, but only a single time.

“Yeah, but Liam didn’t know that. I just wanted to give him a chance to practice.” Louis shrugged, grinning before kissing Harry, probably to make him not mad at him anymore before he walked over to the couch where everyone else was. “Aright, where are my favorite girls?”

“Thanks for watching them… it was a really long day.” Harry looked the part as well, but he still managed a smile as he looked at James in Liam’s arms. “He was really restless in the car, but he seems fine now.”

“Maybe he’s just glad he’s out of the carrier.” Who would have wanted to be tied to that thing for so long?

“Or maybe it’s you.” Harry shrugged, smiling again before leaving Liam as well.

Liam did follow eventually, after rocking James in his arms for a bit, and when he sat back down next to Niall, the younger man immediately leaned closer as well, leaning his head on Liam’s shoulder after placing a kiss over the fabric of his shirt. 

“You look really good with a baby.” He told Liam quietly, only for him to hear because the movie was still playing in the background anyways. “You’re gonna be the best daddy ever.”

“So are you.” Liam gave back immediately, kissing the top of Niall’s head, hoping that he saw it the same way as Liam.

They’d be amazing parents, Liam knew they’d both work their butts off to make this baby’s life as good as it could have somehow been. They already had so much love for this baby that it seemed impossible that those feelings could intensify once it was finally here.

\-----------------------

Niall wasn’t sure what it was, but he kinda felt as if Liam didn’t want him to go to this meeting with the music producer. He couldn’t put his finger on it though, and whenever he asked Liam if he was alright, suddenly the older man looked the part again, he was smiling, kissing Niall, telling him how happy and proud he was, and well… Niall always believed him.

Because why would he have not believed his own husband?

Things had been crazy lately, and they had all happened so fast that Niall could barely keep up. He was also stressed out, about the birth and this meeting and his father texting him so often, and well, it really did not help that when they were on their way to the meeting, Liam got a call from the office that they needed his help.

“You should go to work, I’ll be fine.” Niall told him immediately, and he didn’t know what it was, but he genuinely wasn’t even disappointed. “It’ll probably just be a quick meeting anyways.”

“I don’t have to go to the office, they can figure this out for themselves.” Liam insisted as he parked the car, somehow having found the right address with absolutely no help from any technology. Maybe Niall should have found this strange, but he kinda really didn’t in that moment. 

“No, you should go. I’ll call you when it’s over, okay? Everything will be okay, Li, promise. I’m good.” Niall smiled at him to show him that he meant it, and he knew Liam was about to protest again, so he quickly leaned over to shut him up with a kiss. “I’m already late.”

“Hey. Wait.” Liam stopped him after Niall had taken off his seatbelt already, staring deeply into his eyes and almost making Niall forget why he was even here. “Don’t let yourself be talked into anything you don’t want, okay? It’s perfectly fine to say you need time to think. If they wanna give you a contract then bring it home and I’ll have someone look it over before you sign anything at all. Okay?”

“I won’t sign anything at all, Li. We’ll just talk.” Hopefully. “Thank you though… I should probably really go. Good luck at the office.”

“Good luck in there. I know you’ll blow them away.” Liam told him with half a smile, and then they kissed again and once Niall had left the car, he already felt the older man’s absence even before he had driven away.

Shit, maybe this hadn’t been a good idea, maybe he should have insisted- no, Niall would be alright, he could do this. At least now he wouldn’t have to worry anymore about whatever kinda vibes he was getting from Liam regarding this whole meeting, it was like… just a feeling that Niall had, and maybe he was also just starting to become paranoid or something.

Why would Liam have not wanted him to do this? Niall knew how happy he was for him.

It wasn’t a big building, no idea if that was a good or a bad sign, but Niall only had to wait in front of an office for a couple minutes before this man came out with a big smile on his face.

“Niall! So nice to finally meet you in person, come in, come in.” He was overly nice, and Niall briefly shook his hand after greeting him, excitement and nervousness mixing in his stomach. “When’s the due date?”

“In a couple weeks. I was relieved you wanted to meet so soon.” Niall admitted immediately and the man laughed, closing the door after Niall, making him take a seat. “My husband wanted to come as well, but he got held up at work.”

“Ah, no worries. I’m sure I’m going to meet him at some point. I just really wanted to meet you and talk about everything. I was really impressed with the cover songs you’ve done, but your originals- they blew me away.” The man was so motivated and he sounded so honest that Niall couldn’t help but feel as if he truly meant it, probably making himself way too many false hopes already. 

They talked for probably an hour, about absolutely every aspect of Niall’s career in music so far (that part didn’t last so long), and then all the plans that this man had, that he wanted Niall to make a bloody _album_ , that he genuinely wanted to sign him and get him gigs and like, just about anything Niall had ever dreamed about.

It did feel like a dream somehow, Niall forgot about the fact that he actually already had a job, and a baby along the way, and he might have even let himself be talked into signing something right now and today, had there not been this one incident.

“So, Niall Horan, that’s your real name? I’m just asking because I’ve been playing around with a few things… “ He sounded a bit lost in thoughts, chewing on a pen, and Niall didn’t really think when he spoke up.

“Actually, I recently got married, so it’s not my last name anymore, but I’ve been unsure of whether to keep the Horan or not.” After all, he had titled every cover and song with his name.

“Hmm… “ The man made, still kinda looking through Niall. “And your new last name?”

“Payne.” Niall told him straight out, because why not?

He couldn’t have expected this man to almost choke as he took the pen out of his mouth though, actually having to take a sip of water to calm down. What the hell?

“Are you okay?” Niall asked, worried but also confused when the man quickly nodded. What was even going on here? “What about that name?”

“Nothing, I just… I know someone who is called Payne, that’s all.” He explained, only confusing Niall even more, but before he could have asked, the man’s phone was ringing and he gave Niall an apologetic look before he picked up.

During the entire conversation, Niall didn’t hear a single word, because he was desperately trying to connect the dots between his feelings that something was up with Liam and now this man’s reaction. Surely Liam would have told him though if he knew this man and there was bad blood between them… right? Liam wouldn’t have kept such an important detail and let Niall run into a trap, never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost on time :p i hope you liked it! we are slowly but surely approaching niall giving birth and i honestly cant wait anymore lmao, i want this baby out haha!
> 
> thank you for all the lovely comments <3 im so sorry i always answer so late, everything is such a mess, i still have uni deadlines but im also at my second internship next way and idek where the time is going! i hope you guys are less stressed right now & that you will have a great week!!


	24. Chapter 24

“Sorry about that, that was kinda important.“ The man apologized after he had ended the call a couple minutes later, while Niall was still stuck thinking about what had just happened before. “Soo… where were we?”

“My name.” Niall told him straight out, though he could sense that it seemed to make the other man uncomfortable as he moved a bit in his chair. 

“Right, yeah, I was thinking that maybe you should keep Horan. It flows really well and you’ve had your gigs under that name all your life. Also your covers online and everything else.” The thing was though, how could he have been thinking about how Niall should have kept his name, if he hadn’t even known Niall was married until a couple minutes ago? “Or just drop your last name altogether, go just by Niall. Whatever you prefer.”

“I’m… I’ve not really thought about that. I never really have until recently.” After he had gotten married, basically, because now it was like… Niall was really proud of having Liam’s last name, but it seemed that this producer did not want it anywhere near Niall and Niall couldn’t just ignore that obvious tension. 

“Right, of course… I mean, it is your decision.” He clarified, clearing his throat again, taking a sip of water. “We can still talk about that, and also about-“

“Do you know my husband?” Niall blurted out, because he HAD to, he just couldn’t shut up any longer and there was a weird, uncomfortable silence following that question.

“I’m… not sure.” Was the final answer, which sounded kind of honest, but the man also suddenly looked a bit nervous. “It’s kind of a common last name anyways. There’s even some pretty well known actor with that name, I think, and also-“

“He’s got a publishing label. Actually, his firm isn’t very far away from here.” Probably 10 minutes with a car. “… you also wrote that email to his work email address.”

There was more silence, Niall tried to read the other man’s thoughts by staring at him, studying his face, but it remained just as nervous as before. Finally, he sighed, rubbing his hands over his face before leaning forward a bit. “I got your music and details from a friend of a friend, I saw the name on the email address, but I didn’t know you’re married to him. I know there are connections with his label and some people in the film and music business, so it really didn’t grab my attention at all. Also, my assistant wrote the mail, not me.”

“So you do know him?” Niall kept pushing, possibly ruining everything for himself right now, but it kinda felt like everything was already super weird anyways.

“Not personally.” He settled, and then he shrugged, sorting out some papers in front of him without really doing anything useful with them. “Look… Mr. Payne’s- your husband’s label is kind of well known, and so is he. At least in the kinda business I work in. I was just surprised, that’s all, I’ve never personally met him. But considering all of this… I would advice you even more to keep your old last name, not only because you did kind of establish it for yourself online, but also because otherwise your entire musical career is going to be tied to his label.” 

“I am married to him.” Niall reminded him, because he would forever be tied to Liam anyways, but it seemed that wasn’t what this man had been talking about. Also, was Liam kinda more well known than Niall had first assumed? 

“Your marriage is private. The name your music is published under and your stage name is not. I can’t predict the future, but I can definitely see you go far. I’m not saying it’s going to hurt you to make use of your husband’s connections in the business and possibly your last name, but it would definitely take away from the fact that you actually built this all on your own. Your social media landed in my inbox by pure chance, but a lot of people would assume it didn’t, that’s all.” So he was basically saying Niall would discredit himself by using Liam’s last name, which he couldn’t say so bluntly of course, but like… why talk around it?

“So people would think I just got anywhere at all because of him and that I didn’t actually do anything myself?” Niall wanted to hear him say it, so he wouldn’t feel bad about having made it up himself.

“It’s possible.” The man settled, but then he shrugged, intertwining his fingers. “Your decision. Before we get to this point there’s lots of work to be done anyways. I’d like to get some writers on board, unless you prefer to write by yourself, of course… Your songs have great potential, so does your voice. Of course I know you’re pregnant and close to your due date, so we can take things easy for now, or just wait a bit until we actually get to work. I like your whole image though, we should keep that.”

“What, uh, what’s my image?” Niall had never thought about this, at all, because he had never actually thought anyone would ever even care. Why would he have? It had always been just about the music for him.

“Very laid back, natural, approachable. You’re about to have a baby, even better. I don’t know about your childhood or what you’ve been doing until now, but… we could throw in a bit of a troubled past, even if it’s made up.” Okay, one second…

“It wouldn’t be made up.” Niall told him without thinking, but seeing the man actually being happy about that made him feel a bit weird. “Why is that important? Isn’t it about the music?”

“Depends where we are going with this. Either way, some people are always going to dig deeper and find out things you maybe didn’t want anybody to know.” Sounded a bit too soon to actually think about that.

“But I’m not about to become some celebrity.” Niall argued, but judging by the other man’s face, it seemed he was the only one thinking that and it made him a bit unsure all of a sudden. Was this really what he wanted? “How would anyone even find out things about my past? Like, for example, that I lived on my friends’ couch for a month because I was homeless? No one even knows about that except them.”

“You were homeless for a month?” Okay, wait… maybe Niall shouldn’t have used that example. “I’m sorry about that. But at the same time things like that only make you more relatable, it makes you a success story, somebody who worked his way up from the bottom. People love that. I was more talking about encounters with the police and troubles with the law. Affairs. Things like that.”

“Oh.” Was all Niall made, mentally going through the entire list. Sold drugs a couple times. Slept with a bunch of strangers for money. Sketchy jobs Niall wasn’t actually sure whether they had been 100% legit or not. Affair with his boss who had accidentally impregnated him and had now married him. “I’ve cut ties with all the people in my past anyways.”

“And you parted on bad terms?” Now he sounded alarmed, and Niall just told himself to shut up from now on.

“No, no. We just… lost sight of each other.” He lied, but only a little bit. He had definitely lost sight of the people he had slept with for money. “Anyways, I- is this really so important?”

“It might be in the future, not for now, you’re right. We’re here to talk about your music.” It came off a little fake, but Niall kinda got it. He just hadn’t really come here prepared for that kinda conversation and this whole thing with Liam’s last name had thrown him off, and probably the other man as well. “There’s a few more things I wanted to go over… “

Niall was there for a lot longer, he had kinda forgotten the time, he just took a bunch of information outside with him, and some papers he wanted Liam’s lawyer to read. There was also a lot of confusion and worry in his head as he stood in front of the building trying to call Liam, only to realize that his car was actually already parked on the other side of the street.

The thing was, Niall wasn’t sure how much of this conversation he should have told Liam about. Not because he didn’t want him to know, but because he wasn’t sure if it would’ve been good for Liam to know. Then again… they were married, bonded, Niall loved this man with his entire heart, he wanted to share everything with him, his excitement about all of this, but also his worries.

Maybe now Niall finally knew what Harry had been talking about, when he had told him he had no desires to have his books made into movies and be exposed to possibly a wider audience.

“Hi, babe. I was waving like crazy, didn’t you see me?” Liam was laughing as Niall got into the passenger seat, and the younger man could feel his heart immediately becoming lighter, a smile spreading across his face as he closed the car door behind himself. 

“The sun was shining against the window, I didn’t see anything.” He had only recognized the car after he had already been about to call Liam. “Sorry it took so long and that you had to wait… did everything go okay at the office?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine, I’m still not sure why they called me anyways.” He shrugged, leaning across the seat to kiss Niall, and when he leaned back, his face was full of excitement and hope and Niall suddenly didn’t know anymore why he had been worried about Liam not telling him something before he had gone inside. “So? How was it? I’m really sorry I didn’t get to come.”

“It’s fine, Li, don’t worry about it. It went great.” In fact, suddenly Niall had a thought that it had been for the best that Liam hadn’t come, and he felt guilty for it but judging by the man’s reaction to finding out Niall was married to Liam… 

He told the older man everything, leaving out the parts where they had discussed anything at all to do with Niall’s new last name though, and Niall made himself feel better by telling himself it wasn’t even that relevant anyways. He did let Liam know though about his other worries, and the weird turn the conversation had taken after they had discussed the other thing.

“He was talking as if I’m about to become some famous popstar or something, and as if people will dig out every tiny thing about my past and then hate me for it or whatever. That won’t happen… right?” Also, if it did, then maybe Niall didn’t even want any of this. “I thought this was about my music.”

“Maybe he’s just very optimistic and really wants you to go far, it’s not a bad thing at all. He seems very eager to get you on board.” Liam was already driving them home, after they had already ordered food on the phone so it’d arrive sooner because Niall was literally about to starve. “I don’t know what’s going to happen or how, I’ve not got a lot of insight into how this works, but if you feel uncomfortable about it all I’m sure you can talk to him about it.”

“I kinda did… it was a little bit weird, but… I’m still surprised it went so well and that he really wants to do this. With me. I highly doubt that whatever he said about my image will actually ever be important, like, maybe I wanted to have a big break through when I was younger, but now… it’s more like a hobby. And maybe it’s a little bit for my ego as well.” Possibly, because it had been Niall’s dream for so long, he couldn’t let his younger self down now, and he WAS excited about it all and he wanted it, he just wasn’t sure how much of it he wanted.

And then there was this whole name fiasco of course that Liam didn’t even know about, but the longer Niall thought about it, the worse he felt for keeping it to himself.

“You know, he, um… he knows who you are. I kinda mentioned I got married recently because he was talking about my last name and… it was really weird.” Niall was watching Liam’s reaction closely while talking, but it didn’t even seem to surprise the older man.

“Why? What did he say?” He was asking slowly, calmly, and Niall relaxed a little bit.

“That your label is kind of a big deal so he knows who you are. And also that…. that he doesn’t think I should use my new last name.” The younger man said it very carefully, but again, Liam didn’t seem to even be phased in any way.

“I have to agree with him, I guess. Not that I’m an expert like him, but you did it all by yourself and under your old name, and if you use Payne some people might think I was using some connections to get you to where you are, which would be completely false because you did it all yourself. But it’s your decision, don’t let him talk you into anything.” At least they were on the same page here, that was a big relief to Niall. He had probably just imagined the rest, right?

“I mean… if we hadn’t gone to Greece-“

“But that still had nothing to do with me. We went there for Harry. And you told that director about your music yourself and he asked you about it, not me. It was all you. Besides, you already had gigs before all of this.” It was kinda true, but then again, Niall still didn’t really see it that way. The right people would have never listened to his music had he not met Liam.

“So you also think I should just use my old name?” That was the conclusion Niall was drawing from that, and honestly, he didn’t know how to feel about this. Suddenly, he wasn’t so sure anymore what to think about anything at all. 

“You should do whatever you think is best, babe. In the end, it’s really just about you and no one else. And it’s about your music and not your last name.” Also true, but the way this guy had talked just now… it made Niall wonder whether he knew what he was even getting himself into. “You didn’t sign anything, did you? If you did I’m sure it’s no big deal, just-“

“I didn’t. I just got some papers you could look over if you have time… or your lawyer.” Niall had interrupted Liam quickly to ease his anxiety, but the fact that he had had any in the first place was making the younger man really nervous as well. “… Li?”

“Yes?” The older man asked, now sounding very confused and Niall swallowed, looking out of the window and then down at his stomach as he slowly moved his hand over the bump. He had felt the baby move a lot during the conversation before, but now it was still, probably because he was calmer as well being around Liam. 

“You’d tell me if you thought this was a bad idea, right? For whatever reason?” Because maybe there was actually something going on, something neither Liam nor this other man had told him about, because somehow it felt like it.

“Baby.” Liam started, his voice having gone softer and he reached over to put his hand on the younger man’s thigh because he was still driving. “Of course I would. I think it’s a brilliant idea though, if this is what you want. These kinda things are always unpredictable, and this guy was probably just very enthusiastic about meeting you and discussing everything. If your career really does take off it won’t happen tomorrow, you don’t need to be afraid, there’s still enough time to think and talk about everything.”

“I feel kinda weird for even thinking this much about it, as if I’m so sure I’ll become a popstar or whatever. I never thought that for a second, but now after this meeting it all feels kinda weird. Suddenly I get what Harry was talking about with his books… although it’s completely different. I don’t know.” Niall didn’t really know anything at all anymore.

“Did you agree to meet again anytime soon?” Liam asked, his hand still on Niall’s thigh, thumb rubbing over the material of the younger man’s pants and normally it would have helped, but today, it kinda didn’t.

“Yeah… in a couple days. He wants to already get started because I told him I feel fine because the birth is still a few weeks away.” Had that been a good decision though? Niall didn’t know. “Maybe he wants to rush because I said that once the baby is here, I wanna spend as much time with you and the baby as possible.”

“Look, if he really wants to do this with you then he will understand that and just wait.” Liam tried to calm him again, but somehow, it made Niall laugh a bit.

“Now it sounds like you’re giving me relationship advice.” That made the older man laugh as well, and for a moment, the tension was broken and the mood a lot better, but Niall still felt a bit uneasy.

“Ni, if he really loves you, he’s going to wait. Trust me, as your husband, I’d know.” Liam chuckled and Niall playfully rolled his eyes, putting his hand over Liam’s. “No, but seriously, don’t let yourself be rushed, babe. These things take time, and you also shouldn’t stress yourself out too much.”

“I’m fine, Li, don’t worry, okay? This meeting just went very different from what I expected… not in a bad way. Just different. I guess I just need to think about it for a bit.” Honestly, Niall was kinda over it the longer he thought about it. He doubted that Liam would tell him now if there really was some bad blood between him and this man and also, maybe Niall was overreacting, maybe it didn’t even matter anymore. He trusted Liam after all. “.. what did we order again?”

“Pizza. You ordered.” Liam reminded him, and Niall just nodded because he had known, he had just wanted to switch the topic because this had been going too deep for his liking. “Do you want something else? It’s no problem, you still got my phone anyways, just get whatever you want.”

“No, no, I just forgot for a second.” Niall promised him, flashing Liam a smile as he intertwined their fingers. “I also just remembered that I’m soon going to see my apartment for the last time in a few days.”

“Are you sad about that?” The older man sounded surprised and Niall just snorted, now trying everything to take his mind off of today.

“No, ‘course I’m not sad. I can’t even remember the last time I was there… or slept there. Although I gotta say maybe it’s a little bit nostalgic… like when I told you the toilet was broken because I was scared you’d see the pregnancy test in the bathroom. We gotta take pictures when we’re there, in case our baby asks how we found out about it.” Then again…

“You wanna tell our baby you didn’t wanna tell me you were pregnant by saying you clogged up your toilet and then have a picture of it to back that back?” Right.

“I’d modify the story of course… okay, maybe it’s just for us then. I also kinda wanna remember the place just for that first time you came over because it was the first time that you weren’t this CEO I was sleeping with.” He had just been Liam, a little bit uncertain about things that had happened in his life, kind of in need of advice, kind of in need for a cuddle. Niall had loved seeing him this way. 

“I’ve not been that for a really long time.” Liam said it was if he was only now realizing it himself and Niall smiled fondly to himself.

“Which is a really good thing. But it was still really hot.” More than just that. “… do you think we should ever tell our baby any of that? How we met? And that it was actually all an accident?”

“Hmm… I don’t know, depends. I mean, it was an accident in our eyes, but we’re soulmates and your scent always stuck out to me. Maybe this was all meant to happen.” Liam shrugged, and Niall decided that he also liked this version much, much better than just thinking of it all has having happened by complete chance. “But I don’t think our baby is going to ask that question within the next few years, so we still got time to come up with a plan.”

“You know what we don’t have much time left for?” It always randomly came to Niall, out of nowhere, and he really wasn’t sure why, but it was stressing him out like nothing else right now. Maybe that was a good thing, because it made him somewhat forget about what had happened today. 

“Finding a name?” Liam asked, already amused and Niall wished Liam would have been as stressed out about this as him, but then again, he was happy for him that he wasn’t. “Nialler, it’ll be okay. We already made a list, we talk about this almost every night. Maybe we should really just ask the doctor to tell us the gender, it would at least limit the choices. Or maybe we’ll know the moment we look at the baby.”

“I think that’s some kinda cliché, most babies look the same to me anyways. I mean, ours probably won’t, but then again, most names sound either weird on a baby or an adult, so like… how would we know by looking at our baby?” Also, Niall was a little bit afraid of how he’d feel after the birth, but he didn’t wanna say that right now because he knew Liam would just worry. 

“Well, what else do you wanna do to decide? Throw a dice?” The older man laughed and Niall wanted to join but he held back because he had actually been serious. “Sorry, I know you’re really hungry and that you had a weird day. But I genuinely think we’ll figure this out just in time and then it’ll be fine and we’ll have found the perfect name.”

“It’s okay… I just hope you’re right… “ He really had nothing else to hope for anyways.

“I’m always right.” Liam told him, and Niall rolled his eyes but he smiled when he saw the older man’s grin, squeezing his hand a bit.

At least they mostly had the room ready, and had actually learned how to cook a few meals and Liam had started to read up on various books about babies and he kept randomly telling Niall things about it throughout the day. Their preparations were going fairly well, which was a surprise, but of course they now had this other stuff going on at the same time.

Or Niall did at least.

\----------------------------

Liam was really happy for Niall, he had decided after hearing about the meeting, that he would just try to forget about his worries and everything else and just support his husband. In the end, what was there really to be worried about anyways? Liam had most likely just been overreacting because he had been surprised, that was all.

Niall did meet with the producer again a couple days later, and he left that meeting a lot more highly spirited, so Liam decided to take that as a good sign. After all, they had plenty of other things going on in their lives, with the main focus of course being the baby and everything surrounding it.

So really, no one could blame Liam for spending most of his time thinking about that instead of other things. Unimportant things like work.

“… Mr. Payne?” Liam snapped out of his trance immediately, blinking a few times as he looked away from his laptop screen to stare at the three employees sitting with him at the meeting table. 

“Sorry, I zoned out for a moment, I got an email. What was your suggestion?” Liam really hated every meeting recently, they all lasted too long for his liking, but he knew they were important. Ever since he had taken up Zayn’s advice months ago and finally gotten his act together to step up as CEO and actually talk to his employees, everything had started to run more smoothly in the firm.

Less people quit, they all seemed to get more work done and actually were a lot more willing to invest more work and time into all of their projects. Of course, with them constantly seeing Liam now, that also led to kind of weird conversation topics and meetings once a while.

“I was just saying, I, uh… “ The man repeated himself, clearing his throat as if he was now afraid to say it again to Liam’s face while looking at him. “I just have a friend who is working at a firm of this size and, um… well, they’ve got, like… like-“

“They’ve got daycare for their children.” One of the two women interrupted him and Liam was very grateful that someone had finally just said it. He had had no idea what this meeting had even been about until right now. “At least half the employees have children, and most of them are really young. Mr. Payne, you’ve told us we could come to you if we have any suggestions regarding improvement of the firm and everyone’s well-being, and-“

“You don’t need to convince me. That’s a great idea.” Liam told her immediately, because it was, and he certainly had the means to employ somebody and make sure that at least the youngest kids could be taken care of here at the firm. 

The three employees were visibly relieved at his reaction, and Liam almost had to laugh as he was typing it down. Months ago, he would have never even considered something like that, he would have not cared had somebody quit because they wanted to spend more time with their children, but now… he really got it.

Also, he had no idea where Niall’s music career was going, or whether he himself would spend much time at the office in the future, but just in case they’d both stay here, it would also benefit their own baby.

It seemed Liam wasn’t the only one who thought that. 

“By the way, congratulations on being a father soon.” One of them just said it, blurted it out more like, because Liam froze and he could notice so did the other two employees.

“I… “ Liam started, because no one had ever said it so boldly, just straight out, people had asked questions and blushed like hell when Liam had kinda shut them down, but no one had just assumed they were right about it all. So what now? “Thank you. I’m not sure if this is the r-“

“So it is true?” Somebody else asked, and well, there went all the professionalism Liam had desperately been trying to uphold. “I’ve not seen Mr. Horan in a while, I thought maybe he-“

“Mr. Horan is just fine.” Liam cut the other man off, refraining from correcting him about Niall’s last name because that would have truly only made the whole situation even weirder. Everybody already knew that they were dating and having a baby together, Liam wasn’t sure if many people had noticed a change in Niall’s name tag or on the tag by his office. “Anyways, is there something else you wanted to discuss regarding the firm?”

They all denied immediately, and Liam quickly started to pack up, thanking them for having come to talk to him and he could just TELL they were already talking behind his back before he had even left the room. Whatever, it was the truth anyways, he and Niall were having a baby and maybe Liam was actually kinda feeling proud right now on the way back to his office.

Or he surely would have been, had he not been stopped in the middle of the hallway just a couple seconds later.

“Mr. Payne! I was looking everywhere for you.” It was one of the employees working downstairs at the reception, and Liam kinda wanted to sigh because he had so much work to get done, but of course he stopped.

“Sorry, I was in a meeting, I had my phone on silent.” Or maybe he had forgotten it at his office, Liam didn’t know anymore if he was being honest. “What’s wrong?“

“There’s a really angry woman downstairs, she’s been screaming at us to let her up to see you.” Wait, what?

“What woman? Since when?” Immediately, Liam went through a list of people he could have possibly pissed off, people who had worked for him in the past and quit, or maybe somebody his father had sent to make his life a little bit harder. Something told him though, that this was about something else.

“She’s been here for at least 20 minutes.” They were already walking to the elevators together and Liam resisted the urge to let out a sigh because this was the very last thing he had needed to happen today. With Niall not being here because Liam had convinced him to take the day off and spend it with Louis and the girls instead, all of the work that had piled up was just for Liam to figure out. 

“And did she say who she was?” Liam asked as he pressed the button to take them downstairs to the entrance, immediately regretting his question once he had heard the answer, the woman’s voice somehow having gotten a little bit thinner.

“Um, she said she’s your mother in law?” Oh, Jesus Christ.

Somehow, Liam had already kinda feared that it was Niall’s mother, it would have only taken Niall’s parents a quick look on google to find Liam’s firm after all and he had always been kind of waiting for them to figure out where they both worked.

But if she had looked at the website, she would have seen Niall’s changed name as well, and by calling herself Liam’s mother in law… she knew they had gotten married. And judging by her screaming down his employees, she wasn’t very happy about it.

Thank god Niall wasn’t here, because he would have only gotten stressed out over it. Now it was only Liam being stressed enough for the both of them as he exited the elevator and could already see Niall’s mother. 

She had taken a seat after all, and seemingly wasn’t yelling anymore, but the other employees working downstairs looked quite exhausted and Liam threw a look at them but there was really nothing he could have done right now.

“Finally! What’s taken you so damn long to come down here?” Yep, she was definitely pissed at him as well.

“Mrs. Horan-“

“Oh, cut the formalities, Liam, we were already on first name basis. Just because you’re wearing a suit doesn’t make this any more pleasant.” She had gotten up immediately, her face still red, probably from all the screaming as she crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking Liam up and down. Surely, everyone around them was listening, but it was what it was at this point. “At least your employees were here to apologize for you not answering your phone when they called you.”

“I was in a meeting.” Liam explained to her, as calmly as possible, but she just let out a laugh. God, this was going to be a long ass day. “Maybe we should have this conversation in my office.”

“Why? Are you afraid everybody will find out that you married my son behind my back, that he’s having _your_ baby and that you probably talked him into not talking to his own parents anymore?!” Well, if there had been any doubt within anybody working here about whether Niall and Liam were together and having a baby… it was now gone.

“You did that all by yourself.” Liam gave back, his face and voice having gotten a lot harder. He wasn’t going to let this woman scream at him however she pleased, he had tried being nice, now he was done. “If you want to talk, we can do it in my office or I will have to ask you to leave.”

“And what if I’m not leaving?” She asked, now sounding like a rebellious teen.

“Then I will call security and they will be happy to escort you outside.” Liam told her and he thought she might explode any second judging by how red her face had gotten afterwards. “So, can we go to my office or would you prefer to leave?”

“I’ve no idea what Niall sees in you.” She told him straight out, but she did follow when Liam walked back to the elevator, avoiding absolutely everybody’s stare with a lot of expertise. He would have to deal with this once it was time, maybe never, but for now he had different problems.

“Does your husband know you’re here?” Once they had gotten into the elevator and were going up, silence had fallen upon them, but Liam wasn’t about to let her take the lead and just have a go at him again.

“Don’t talk to me in such a condescending way. He would have only tried to stop me from coming, he believes we need to let Niall live his life and stay out of it, but _I_ raised that boy, and just because you have a lot of money and are putting all these ideas into his head doesn’t give you the right to keep him away from us.” Oh, if she had only known.

“I’m not keeping Niall from doing anything at all.” Liam was trying SO hard to stay calm as they exited the elevator, and luckily the top floor consisted of his office and mostly empty space, so no one could hear them.

“This is ridiculous.” Maura was letting out a humorless laugh when she saw the name tag next to Liam’s office door, stating both his own name as well as Niall’s new one. “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“For what?” Liam asked, closing the door after she had entered, not even knowing what the reason for her anger really was. Had she not already known that Niall would have had no intention of letting her back into his life, even if he had never even met Liam? “I’m not to blame for the kinda relationship you have with Niall. I only met him a bit under a year ago.”

“And I’m supposed to believe that?! Who gets married after such a short amount of time? AND has a baby?! I bet you’re the reason Niall’s been ignoring my calls for _years_ , refusing to come home and whatever else… I should have known, there was no way he would have gotten back to his feet all by himself. Is he living with you? Spending your money? I thought he works here as well, where is he?!” Okay, now Liam was confused, did she hate him, or did she hate Niall, or just both of them together?

“Niall’s taking a day off.” Liam told her even though it was none of her business. “Would you like to take a s-“

“No, I would not! This is unbelievable! Unbelievable.” She was walking up and down the office shaking her head and Liam suppressed a sigh as he leaned against his table, having put his laptop behind himself because he was a bit afraid this situation would escalate. 

“Mrs. H- Maura.” Liam corrected himself quickly, not even knowing where to start. Why was he having this conversation right now?! “I’ve met Niall about a year ago, he applied to work at my firm here and I hired him. This is how we met, not years ago. He got his own apartment, but now that we’re married, yes, we moved in together. But he’s gotten to his feet all by himself before that, and I am not telling him who he can have in his life and who he can talk to.”

“And I’m supposed to believe all of that?!” Well… to be fair, maybe it was kinda hard to believe, especially when she was as enraged as she was, but it was the truth after all. “First he didn’t tell us he’s dating somebody AND having a baby, and now he’s gotten married behind our back and I had to find out ONLINE! This is just ridiculous!”

“I understand this must be hard for you, I-“

“Don’t tell me you understand how I feel, Liam! You’re the reason all of this is happening in the first place!” Okay, here they went again.

But this time, Liam was truly fed up with it.

“Okay, listen to me, I will only say this one more time.” Liam had pushed away from his desk, using his CEO voice as best as he could even though Maura didn’t seem very impressed. At least she stayed quiet though, that was something. “What I told you is the truth, if you believe it or not is up to you. I am not jeopardizing your relationship with Niall, you’re doing this all by yourself and you have been doing it when we were at your house as well. Even if I HAD met him years ago, which I didn’t, you KNOW why he left home and never came back. You KNOW what you did and how wrongly you treated him and I don’t care what you have to say about that. Niall is my husband, and I will always look out for his best interest, he’s pregnant with our baby and I am more than thankful that he’s not here to witness this, because you’d be putting not only his health, but also the babies’ at risk by turning up here and making a scene like that. If anyone should be ashamed it should be you, not only for how you are behaving right now, but also for how you treated him his entire life.”

“How _dare_ you question me as a mother! You know nothing about our family or how difficult it was to raise this boy! Did he tell you about the drugs he experimented with? The times he ran away and we were worried sick for days? The people he had sex with for money? All his sketchy jobs?! He’s lucky he’s still alive and that he never got caught for all the illegal things he’s done when he was younger! If your child is anything like him then good luck. Maybe then you’ll both see that I was right and only wanted the best for Niall.” They were really getting nowhere at all, were they? Not with yelling, and not like that.

Too bad Liam wasn’t exactly the best at confrontation, maybe he just needed to switch the entire point of this conversation or they’d still have a go at each other in an hour.

“I would really like for you to work things out with Niall.” Liam told her straight out, clearly catching her off guard, but he truly meant it. “I’d be happy if you could have a healthy relationship with him, I’m not at all keeping him from contacting you. As you put so nicely, I’ve no idea what your family is really like, but Niall is my husband, and I believe what he told me. He’s the one you have to work things out with though, not me.”

“And how do you suggest I do that? If he never answers his phone, and told my husband in front of me that he would be _allowed_ to contact him, but I am not?” Good question.

“I could call him right now.” Liam said it without thinking about it, but seeing her face change, he quickly backpedaled. “I can’t promise anything, everything is completely up to Niall only. You’re welcome to come to our house and have a talk with him, but if Niall wants you to leave or you start to yell at him and blame him for things like you did when we were at your house, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

There was silence, so she seemed to actually be thinking about it. She still looked very angry and upset and Liam thought for a moment that he should have suggested that Niall’s father would also join them for this, but like… maybe it would be better like this. And maybe, hopefully, she’d be more civil if they were at Liam’s house. Although, she had also just yelled at him downstairs in front of 10 of his employees, so there was that.

“Fine. Whatever. I’ve got nothing to lose.” She decided in the end, just like Liam had thought. “But make sure to tell him just how disappointed I am in him for not telling us about getting married and-“

“I won’t tell him that. And you won’t either or I’m not calling him.” Yeah, Liam was threatening her a little bit, but like… fuck, he already felt bad for that phone call in advance. He was about to absolutely ruin Niall’s day, but what else was he supposed to do?

He knew this bothered Niall, that they all wanted this worked out in some way, and how would Liam have ever gotten rid of Niall’s mother again otherwise?

“Just call him.” Niall’s mother demanded, clearly getting angrier again by the second and Liam hesitated for a moment before actually getting out his phone to call Niall.

So much for getting work done and letting Niall have some time to breathe and enjoy his day off.

\---------------------

“I really don’t understand any of this.” Louis told Niall for the third time while driving him home, and Niall would have really just liked to tell him to be quiet so he could think, but he was too nervous anyways. Also, he felt kinda sick to his stomach after his phone conversation with Liam. “Why did Liam invite her to his house?”

“He only suggested it, so me and her could talk things out… he left it up to me.” And god knows why, but Niall had agreed and was regretting it deeply now. “I can’t believe she just showed up to the firm… I don’t even wanna know what she’s said to Liam, she surely caused a scene. He couldn’t tell me in front of her.”

“Do you want me to stay? Harry will be fine watching the kids for a bit.” Louis suggested, sounding very honest, and Niall thought about it for a moment, guilt already bubbling up inside of him before he had even spoken up.

“I really don’t wanna ruin your day even more, me and Liam will be fine and-“

“It really wouldn’t be any trouble though. Actually… I think I might feel a bit calmer. I don’t really know your mother, but from what Harry told me… she’s nuts.” An understatement. “Maybe if me and Liam are both there she will actually behave.”

“I doubt it, but… if you could really stay… “ Niall trailed off, feeling bad but at the same time really wanting Louis to stay. Not because he didn’t think Liam wouldn’t save him if things got bad, just because Louis was also very good at dealing with situations like this, he never held back in any way, always said exactly what was on his mind.

Having him there surely wouldn’t hurt.

Niall had so many questions that he couldn’t ask Liam, but mostly he just wanted to apologize to him for all of this. For his mother doing what she did best, for forcing him to leave work and come here with her, spend time alone with her, having to put up with all this messy family crap. Niall knew Liam didn’t mind doing these things for him, that he wanted Niall to be okay and figure this out, but that didn’t mean the younger man didn’t feel guilty.

“How’s it going with that producer you met with?” Louis asked out of nowhere when he had already pulled into Liam’s street, and that was really the last thing Niall wanted to talk about.

“Really good, but… can we not talk about that right now? And please don’t mention it in front of my mom.” To be fair, the last meeting had been a lot more relaxed and Niall had gotten a better feeling about this whole thing, but right now it seemed he could never solve a problem without creating a new one and here they were.

“Right, ‘course. Don’t worry, my lips are sealed unless she starts to piss you off.” This was why Niall needed Louis to be there, not because he didn’t think Liam could have helped him out just as well, but because Louis had nothing at all to lose and he was coming in from an outside perspective. “Or if she starts asking about Harry and the girls as if she’s ever seen them more than once in her life.”

“She probably still goes around telling people Harry is her son and not me.” No idea if she had ever done that, but Niall would have believed it on the spot.

When they pulled up to Liam’s house, Niall knew that Liam and his mother were already inside because Louis actually parked his car right next to Niall’s mother’s car, making some comment about how it could really use a clean, but Niall was more busy texting Liam that they were here, and that Louis was staying as well.

No idea if he ever saw that, but at least he didn’t seem to be very surprised when Niall and Louis entered the house a couple moments later and Niall’s heart was about to jump out of his chest.

“Hi, baby… “ Liam was at the door immediately, before Niall had even had any time to look around and the older man kissed him before pulling him into a hug, whispering into his ear. “I’m sorry… “

“It’s not your fault, Li.” Niall whispered, back, keeping his eyes closed for another moment and kissing Liam’s cheek before they slowly let go of each other.

The younger man barely registered Louis clapping Liam on the shoulder and probably saying hello or something, because sadly, Niall had already made eye contact with his mother sitting all the way over at the table with a glass of water, just waiting.

“Hi, mom.” Niall decided to be civil as he slowly walked over, already feeling like puking. It felt so wrong to see her here in this house, sitting on the same chair Niall had sat on many times before having breakfast or dinner with Liam. “How are you doing?”

“I’ve been better.” She told him and Niall refrained from rolling his eyes. He sat opposite her, not any closer than he had to, basically only waiting for her to freak out on him again and Liam or Louis jumping in. “How far along are you?”

“31 weeks.” Niall told her with a shrug, not really knowing why she even bothered to ask and make small talk anymore. “Did dad show you the ultrasound pictures?”

“He did.” She confirmed with a nod, and in the meantime, Liam had come to sit next to Niall and Niall’s mother’s eyes shifted to Louis. Somehow, she seemed happier about seeing him than seeing Niall, but that really was no surprise actually. “I’ve not seen you in years, Louis.”

“Hi.” Louis’ greeting sounded very reserved, he didn’t come to sit at the table with them but stayed by the kitchen aisle, and Niall’s mother had probably already guessed why he was here.

“So, do you really need two bodyguards to talk to your own mother?” She asked Niall with a fake laugh and he wanted to roll his eyes, but then he didn’t.

“I don’t need bodyguards, Liam is my husband and Louis is my best friend, I want them to be here.” He told her with a shrug, seeing her face getting a bit harder.

“When was the wedding?” Niall had already known she’d be pissed about this, so the tone of her voice wasn’t really a surprise. Not to him or anyone.

“My birthday.” If she even still knew when that was, because she hadn’t congratulated him. Not that Niall would have answered her text message. 

“Well. Congratulations.” She sounded very reserved, of course, but Niall decided not to give her the satisfaction of trying to explain himself.

“Thanks.” Was all he said, and then he remained quiet, waiting for her to do all the talking because he actually had nothing to say. Liam had moved his chair closer to Niall’s, his arm around the back of the younger man’s chair and Niall leaned closer towards him, just so he’d know Liam was there with him.

There was a bit of silence, not uncomfortable, just weird, and Niall’s mom looked more than just pissed off and angry, but it also seemed as if she was trying her hardest not to lose it completely on them. “So… I know that when you two came to our house, a few things have been said that were upsetting.”

No one said anything to that, so she sighed as she realized she had to continue herself.

“I’ve had a long conversation with your father, Niall, and we came to the conclusion that I said things that didn’t really help the situation.” God, couldn’t she just say she was sorry?! “Of course, finding out online that you had gotten married was a blow in the face after you kept your pregnancy a secret for so long and-“

“I mean, you kinda got our relationship to the point where I didn’t wanna tell you anything anymore, so there’s that.” Niall interrupted her, shrugging when he saw her getting angry. “You can deny it, but it’s not going to change anything that happened.”

“Well, Niall, if we are just here to blame each other for the past, we might as well just stop talking altogether.” Good idea.

“I’m not blaming you for anything, those are just facts.” And she’d never admit to any of it.

“Of course you’re blaming me, you-“

“If I could just come in here with an outside perspective.” Louis suddenly threw in, interrupting her, and Niall was really surprised but also very grateful. “I don’t know you well, Maura, but the way I see it _you_ want something from Niall and Liam, not the other way around. I don’t know how beneficial it is for you to start a fight with either of them.”

“Why don’t we state what our expectations are of this conversation and then maybe we can find a mutual decision?” Liam added onto Louis’ statement and Niall was almost getting more and more amused with this whole situation. “Maura?”

“Fine. Alright.” She was about to explode, Niall could tell, but he was also surprised she hadn’t already. Probably because she had yelled at Liam already in his office. “I just want things between us to be alright, for you to not ignore my calls, to occasionally come for a visit, and to let us see our grandchild. That is all.”

“Ni?” Liam asked after Niall didn’t say anything in reply, but he had to think about it for a moment before he spoke, looking at the table in front of him.

“You can have all of that, but only under one condition.” Or several, but for the sake of it, Niall decided to just sum it all up. “You stop mentioning whatever either of us have done in the past, we just bury it completely and let it go and just move on. And you accept mine and Liam’s boundaries, you let us live our lives and realize that I’m an adult and can make my own decisions that I don’t need your approval for. Otherwise this won’t work and we’ll always find a reason to fight.”

“Sounds reasonable.” Louis was speaking more to himself, or so it sounded like, but Niall’s mother just ignored him anyways.

“And your father?” Was all she asked, making Niall wanna roll his eyes into the back of his head.

“The same counts for him, but ever since we came for a visit, he’s not talked about the past or tried to tell me how I need to live my life. He just sometimes texts and I show him ultrasound pictures.” Sometimes they also texted back and forth about other, random, things, but she probably already knew that anyways. “If this doesn’t work, mom, then I can’t have a normal relationship with you and dad. This is my life, I’ve been making my own decisions for years and years, and I’ve never been happier than I am now. You always say you only always wanted what’s best for me, and this is it. You can be part of the babies’ and our lives, but only if we let go of the past and start all over again.”

Of course Niall would have liked an apology, but he had come to accept he would never get one anyways, hoping for it was completely pointless. All he wanted now, was peace.

There was more silence, and then even more, and no idea why it took her so long to think this over, but finally, Niall’s mother seemed to give in. “Alright. Let’s start all over again and forget the past.”

Niall felt himself relax a bit, although he wasn’t sure how long this would last, he just needed something to break the ice now, and thankfully, Liam came in to save the days as always after more silence had followed. “Would you like to see the new pictures?”

Things were still weird as they looked at the ultrasound pictures, and Louis came over as well because he hadn’t seen them either yet. It was easier, to just talk about the baby, and then after a while about some other things, but it still wasn’t comfortable and Niall doubted that it would be anytime soon.

Louis left after a while, and Niall’s mother stayed for maybe an hour in total before she also left, letting Niall give her the promise of telling her once he was about to have the baby, and to answer her texts and calls. In retrospect, this hadn’t been very difficult at all, it’s just… Niall was doubtful about whether this would last.

“Somehow I don’t feel better at all.” Was the first thing Niall told Liam once they were finally alone again, and the older man wrapped his arms around him, kissing his head. “Sorry you had to deal with her.”

“It’s okay, babe, don’t worry. I just wanted you and her to figure this out… maybe this can work, you know? She sounded very serious to me.” Liam was rubbing his arm, and then his belly as Niall leaned into him, closing his eyes. 

“She still owes you an apology. I don’t know what she did at the firm, but I can imagine it wasn’t a pleasant encounter.” Judging by the way Liam let out a quick laugh, Niall was probably right.

“She owes you a hundred apologies as well, Nialler. I think it’s for the best you suggested to just let the past be the past, and we all just try to be civil around one another and forget. I think it’s really amazing you are willing to have a normal relationship with her and to forget. Not everyone could do that.” He sounded as if he was proud of Niall, and the younger man let that sink in for a moment, let himself be filled with love for the older man.

He was so damn lucky to have Liam, it shouldn’t have even been possible to be this happy.

“I just don’t care anymore… I already have everything I ever wanted. I have you and soon we’ll have the baby and that is all the family I could have ever needed. I love you, Li.” Niall told him, because it was true and he just wanted to forget about everything, be with Liam only and enjoy each other’s company.

“I love you too, baby… “ Liam whispered somewhere into Niall’s hair, holding him tighter and they just stood there for a while, taking in the moment and being grateful that they had one another.

\--------------------------

The weeks following were probably Liam’s favorite of all of Niall’s pregnancy, because nothing bad happened and things seemed to have fallen into place. They got the room ready, they watched too many videos of people talking about birth experiences and read up on parenting things, tried to learn to cook a few more meals and just generally educate themselves.

They also spent a lot of time with their friends, and less time at work, and though they didn’t come to a conclusion with their name dilemma, at least they added onto their list and Niall seemed more relaxed about it as well.

His stomach was huge by the time he was just about 37 weeks and Liam was very relieved when Niall told him he’d have his last meeting with the music producer before the birth, and that they had moved everything else to somewhere into the near future. For the first time in maybe forever, there didn’t seem to be a problem, Niall even talked to his parents occasionally, both via text and on the phone, and maybe they finally had the peace they had always wanted. 

Liam had again kind of stopped going to the gym with Zayn, because with Niall being so close to giving birth, he was a little bit terrified every time he and Niall weren’t together, despite the fact that he knew that technically, the younger man would have just called him and they’d have figured it all out from there. 

“Did Niall ever even drive the car you got him?” Zayn asked as they were on their way back to their own cars after having met up for a quick catch up while Niall was still at the recording studio.

“A couple times, actually. Not lately because I’m a bit terrified whenever he’s in a car.” Liam was searching for his keys in his pocket as they walked out on the parking lot, because they were already running a bit late.

“You’re terrified whenever he’s doing anything besides lying in bed.” His friend argued and well, Liam couldn’t deny it so he just shrugged and Zayn laughed. “I’m not blaming you, Payno. I’m sure everything will go well though, the whole birth is probably more stressful for him than it is for you.”

“I know, I feel really bad, I know he’s nervous.” And there was nothing at all Liam could have done to help him with that fear. 

“I’ve got a good feeling about all of this.” Zayn tried to make him feel better, but how would he have even known?

Still, Liam thanked him before they briefly hugged and parted ways. Liam drove a bit faster so he’d make it on time, but Niall hadn’t left the building yet once he arrived at the studio, so that was a good thing.

Liam got caught up reading something on his phone, so much that he was a little bit startled when Niall suddenly got into the passenger seat. For just a second, Liam felt happy and relieved to see him, a smile on his face as he turned to look at his husband, about to lean over to kiss him hello. “Hi, baby, how was it?”

Almost immediately though, Liam could see, but also sense, that something was wrong, and his smile froze when Niall leaned further away from him, his face upset, angry almost. “I blew the whole thing off.”

“What, why?!” Liam was confused, and shocked, but that really only lasted for a couple seconds when Niall looked him straight into his eyes, with the coldest expression Liam had ever seen.

“I think you know why.” Was all the younger man said, and of course Liam did, of course it hit him immediately and there was no point in even denying it. Maybe that was why he had had this weird feeling while he had been with Zayn and it had caused him to worry about his husband, his soulmate.

“Nialler… “ He started after a moment, swallowing hard, the guilt almost eating him alive. What the hell had happened? How had Niall found out? “I was going to tell you, I-“

“When, Liam?! When were you planning on telling me that I was about to sign a fucking contract with your father’s best mate?!” Well… “Once I had signed and it was too late to back out?!”

“I knew you would have never taken the opportunity if I had told you, but he’s not my father, he has nothing at all to do with what happened in my childhood, he-“

“No, not at all, you’re right. Your father just popped by for a surprise visit which he apparently does all the time, no big deal.” Wait…

“You _met_ him?!” So much for finally having their much needed peace shortly before the birth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi :)
> 
> a bit of an earlier update after i was always so late the last few times haha, i wrote this instead of finally finishing my seminar paper and now im kind of in trouble but itll be fine (i hope rip). hope you liked the chapter!! as you can tell, niall is very close to giving birth because i dont wanna drag it out any further haha and also everything is kinda starting to get sorted and whatnot, even if it doesnt seem like it right now :p
> 
> hope you had a good weekend and a good start to the week! thank you for all your comments and kudos <3


	25. Chapter 25

“Yeah.“ Was all Niall said, trying to keep his voice controlled because he was honestly so fucking pissed right now, he didn’t even wanna look at Liam. “He’s still inside.”

“I… “ Liam started, and then he just stopped and Niall continued to stare out of the window, having nothing left to say.

He had literally just had the most terrible encounter in his entire life. It had been SO uncomfortable to meet Liam’s father, when he was literally about to give birth to Liam’s baby, having the same fucking last name as Liam and his father and his father clearly only having shown up because the music producer had told him about Niall. Of course he had tried to act surprised, but Niall had seen it written all across his face.

And the thing was, he had very obviously LOVED seeing Niall not knowing what to say and being completely flabbergasted. He knew too much about this man from Liam’s books and Liam himself, and seeing him had almost made Niall’s stomach turn. How could Liam have not told him?! Why would Niall wanna work with anyone who had such close relations to Liam’s father?!

“What is even wrong with you?” Niall asked because he just HAD to know. “Like, why the fuck would you send me to go and meet up with this guy, Liam? Seriously?”

“I knew you wouldn’t have taken the opportunity if I had told you. I didn’t want you to miss that chance.” Liam explained quietly, and Niall had never seen him so at a loss for words as right now. God.

“And the fact alone that you KNEW I would have never taken the opportunity if I had known doesn’t tell you that maybe you should have told me? I would have found out, Liam, maybe not today, but some day. After I would have already signed that damn paper.” And Niall had been so close to doing that as well. Maybe it had been a wink of fate that he had waited so long and had kept scheduling meetings instead of actually signing a contract or anything else.

He had literally just walked out. Liam’s father had gone to the bathroom, and Niall had interrupted the music producer, telling him he didn’t think this was for him, and then he had left, just like that. He knew it would look really bad, that this man would possibly talk about this to other people he knew who could have possibly been interested in Niall’s music.

It was too late for all of that now. 

“You know, by not telling me this you made me look like a fucking idiot in there. Not only in front of your father, but also in front of everyone else in there. I just walked out. And now no one will probably ever wanna work with me again. At least no one who knows this guy.” Or Liam’s father.

“Niall, I’m so s-“

“Save it.” Niall cut Liam off in his apology, rubbing his hands across his face in frustration. This was all way, WAY, too much for him. “Can we just go home?”

“I can go inside, I can talk t-“

“And what exactly would you even say? It doesn’t matter what you would say. Your father would just be feeling even better about himself than he already did just now. Let’s just go and forget about this.” Seriously, it was really the only thing they could have possibly done at this point. Leave and forget.

Liam was hesitating, Niall could feel how emotionally distressed he was, that he probably thought about genuinely leaving the car to go inside that building, but what difference would it have made?! Niall didn’t want Liam to talk to his father, especially not now, and especially not for him. He just wanted to go and lie down.

“What are you waiting for? Drive.” Niall ordered, way more harshly than he would have ever said it any other day, and also a lot more harshly than he had planned. But whatever, at least it got Liam to finally take action.

There was silence between them while Liam was driving them home, and Niall closed his eyes in an attempt to calm himself down, hand on his stomach, trying not to get too worked up. He had already been way too worked up inside anyways, he just wished he could have forgotten what Liam’s father looked like and this whole conversation he had had with him.

It hadn’t been long or anything, but long enough to establish that Niall knew about Liam’s childhood and probably about everything else. And long enough for him to realize that Liam’s father had no remorse and no regret and that he was only amused that Liam had bonded with Niall, married him, AND was expecting a baby with him.

No idea what would come out of this, Niall didn’t even wanna know anymore, he had enough family with his own family, he had never thought that they would have to solve Liam’s family issues as well. Not because Niall was ignorant and wouldn’t want to help Liam or didn’t want him to have a good relationship with his father, but because he hadn’t thought there was even any use left for Liam to try and reconnect with his father.

Also, what Niall’s parents had done was one thing, they had just been emotionally unavailable and a bit neglecting, which could have been excused with his brother’s early death. But Liam’s father… he had been not only emotionally but also physically abusive towards Liam his entire life, and he was still trying to destroy his firm. 

With his newly found knowledge of Niall and the baby, Niall wasn’t sure what Liam’s father would do with that information, but it honestly made him really fucking nervous.

On the way home, Niall’s mother just HAD to text him, and then the music producer as well asking what the hell was going on with Niall, and then right before Liam was about to pull into his driveway, Harry texted again about some random stuff and Niall was seriously DONE with it all.

“Do you need any h-“

“I got it.” Niall brushed Liam’s helping hand off, the older man having practically half jogged around his car to open Niall’s door for him and offer his help. Normally, Niall was both flattered and also happy about the help because his stomach was definitely getting in the way more often than not, but today, he really didn’t need any of that.

It was definitely a bit hard to get out of the car, but Niall didn’t care, he just wanted to go upstairs and lie down and not talk to anyone anymore.

Liam thankfully got the cue and shut his mouth, didn’t try to stop Niall as he went upstairs after dumping his bag by the door. Walking up the stairs had definitely been easier in the beginning, but Niall was so angry that he didn’t even notice. He barely made himself change into more comfortable clothes before lying down on the bed, over the blanket, putting his arm over his eyes to block out the light.

This was just pure shit. Like, how the fuck did Niall deserve that? What had Liam been thinking? HAD he even been thinking at all? It surely didn’t look like it.

Niall’s back was hurting, and so were his feet and his head, but he ignored all of that in favor of just lying there listening to his own breathing. The baby was kicking a bit, as if to remind Niall to get it the fuck together, and he was really trying hard, but it wasn’t working as well as he had hoped.

No idea how long Liam had actually left him by himself, but Niall did hear his footsteps after a while and he couldn’t decide if he was still angry or not. As time passed by, he was just feeling more and more exhausted and also more tired than anything else. It was done now anyways, there was nothing Liam could have said to make it go away or to change the past.

“I, uh… brought you some water. And something to eat.” Liam really thought he could get Niall like this and sadly, Niall truly was hungry as well as thirsty. “I can just leave it here.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Niall told him briefly without moving his arm away from his face, a bit curious whether Liam would really just leave or stay.

Of course, he stayed after putting everything on the bedside table. But he didn’t sit on the side of the mattress like Niall had expected him to, as if he was aware that that would have definitely gone too far and just pissed the younger man off even more. He went to sit on the very end of the bed instead.

For a moment, Niall wanted to tell him to leave him alone, but then he decided that he didn’t actually care all too much. It was too late anyways.

“Look, I… “ Liam started, and Niall felt bad because he knew how difficult situations like this were for the older man. He had gotten a lot better at problem solving and generally at communicating his feelings and realizing what Niall needed, but they never had fights like this usually. “I’m really sorry. I know that doesn’t cut it and I know it doesn’t help, but I truly am. And I wanted you to know. I made a wrong decision and I can’t make it undone.” 

“You did.” Niall told him, because what else was he gonna say? He knew Liam was sorry, but that didn’t make him feel any better. “I just don’t understand why you did that.”

“I wanted you to take the opportunity and I… I really didn’t think that my dad would randomly go visit his mates at work. I didn’t think it would make a difference if he knew him or not.” Liam said it as if he meant it, but if he had meant it, then…

“So that was why you didn’t want me to use your last name. And why you didn’t even wanna come to the first meeting. Did they even need you at the office that day?” Suddenly Niall wasn’t sure anymore what to believe.

“They did ask me to come, but I told you even then if you had wanted me to come with you, I would have. You told me to go to the office.” True, Niall wasn’t sure if he should have believed him or not, but then again, what difference did it make? At least now everything made sense. “I told you you can use your new last name, and that it’s your decision. It wasn’t even about the producer finding out, I know he would have found out who you are anyways. It was really more about you always being connected to me and… well, my dad.”

“Well, now it doesn’t matter anymore anyways.” Niall finished for Liam because he didn’t feel like there was any value in talking about what could have been.

“But… you could still go back and- my dad doesn’t run the music label, he’s literally just a friend of that guy and-“

“And you genuinely believe he wouldn’t wanna get involved? Honestly? He still tries to ruin your firm and get your employees to work for him, do you REALLY think he’d just let me have this and not try to destroy it somehow or to get involved? You do realize this is the perfect way for him to put pressure on you and your firm as well, right? With him knowing about us and the baby, you’re a lot weaker. I make you weak. There is no way I could sign that contract and you know it, so let’s not pretend. It’s done.” It really was, and Liam seemed to realize that as well, because there was silence.

Niall kinda really wanted to just eat right now, but he was holding back as best as he could, just for a little bit longer for it to be less weird. Then again, he was pregnant and Niall was angry at Liam but he was becoming real good at making food Niall enjoyed so screw that.

Without looking at Liam, Niall sat up, taking the plate of foot and just starting to eat it, way too quickly, but fuck all of that. The situation was already as weird as it could get, Niall might as well have complimented Liam on the food.

The thing was, as much as they’d possibly fight in their lives, they would never break up, and it was a really weird concept to think about. Even now, Niall was aware that Liam was his soulmate, his perfect match, and yes, of course they would still disagree and make mistakes, but at the end of the day, they were made for one another. 

Didn’t mean Niall wasn’t mad and disappointed though.

“I know other music producers, I can send your music to someone else and-“

“I don’t want that. It’s fine. Just let it go.” Niall told Liam in between bites. He didn’t want Liam to go and do it for him and everyone just taking pity on Niall because he had Liam backing him up. It felt wrong. “Maybe it’s better this way, we’re about to have a baby.” 

“It’s not better this way, this is what you wanted and I… I screwed it up for you.” Niall did look up when Liam said it, but the older man wasn’t even looking at him anyways, he was staring at his own hands, looking so sad that Niall almost felt bad for HIM. “I know I can never make it up to you.”

“You didn’t screw it up for me, I would have never even gone there if you had told me from the beginning. I just wouldn’t have made myself any false hopes.” That was unfair to say, but it was how Niall felt anyways and it was already out. Honestly though, he also didn’t really regret it.

“I know.” Liam told him quietly, still staring at anything besides Niall’s face right now. “I thought about telling you… but it was your birthday and our wedding day and I- I even thought about just not telling you about the email but I couldn’t keep it from you or make the decision for you and so I just… you know… “

“So you just gave me half the truth.” Niall finished his sentence, and when the older man finally turned his head and their eyes met, his expression looked really pained. 

“Yeah.” Liam answered after a moment before Niall started eating again, having nothing else left to say.

He did understand Liam, he understood why he had done it and his internal struggle about whether to tell Niall the truth or not, but then again… he didn’t understand why Liam had kept it from him, had seemingly had 0 intentions of ever letting him know anytime soon. That was really the worst part of it all, that Niall didn’t know if Liam would have told him, maybe ever, if he hadn’t found out by accident.

“Just never do anything like this again. Don’t keep stuff from me. We’re bonded and we’re married and I wanna make my own decisions, with full knowledge of what’s going on. It’s not fair because you basically made the decision for me, and it isn’t what I wanted. I could never work with this producer if I know your dad might get involved, not only because I know he’d try to sabotage you through me, but also because I want nothing to do with this man after everything he’s done to you. Let’s just focus on us and the baby and forget this whole music thing for now.” Niall decided, because he was kinda through with it anyways after everything that had happened today. 

“I’m still sorry, I wanna make it up to you, if I knew how, I-“

“You don’t have to, just never do it again. And let me be mad for a little bit longer without apologizing.” Niall had forgiven Liam, but he just wanted to be upset right now still. That wasn’t too much to ask for, was it?

“Okay. Do you wanna be alone?” Liam asked, very carefully, and Niall sighed because he kinda did, kinda didn’t. 

“You can stay and rub my feet because they are killing me.” He decided in the end after having finished the food and Liam looked only too happy as he did exactly what Niall had told him to.

The younger man lied back down, closing his eyes again while Liam was rubbing his feet and doing a really damn good job that almost made Niall wanna forget about what he had done. Or hadn’t done, more like. 

They stayed quiet though, for kind of a really long time, so long that Niall almost fell asleep. He could feel the baby kick again though, putting his hand over the spot and then deciding to tell Liam as well because he knew how happy it made him whenever he could feel the baby. 

“Put your hand here.” Niall told him without opening his eyes, moving his own hand so that Liam could put his own there instead, stopping the foot massage for a moment. “It’s a lot more than usual.”

“Yeah… I can kinda see it against your shirt even.” He was probably right, Niall didn’t wanna look because he knew the light from the ceiling would have blinded him, so he just lied there, letting Liam feel his stomach.

Eventually, Niall had a change of heart and moved his hand over the older man’s, not really saying anything though because he didn’t even know what and he was also really tired. Plus, he wished Liam would have continued to rub his feet, but this was okay as well. 

“I love you.” Liam told him out of nowhere, and it was kinda typical for him to say this right now, but Niall knew he truly meant it and it did kinda warm his heart a little.

“I love you too.” He told the older man, trying to bite back a smile as he continued. “I’m still mad at you.”

“I know. Just wanted you to know.” Liam explained himself and Niall acknowledged it silently, keeping his hand over the older man’s though.

Liam eventually resumed to rub his feet before propping them up over one of their pillows before he went to lie down next to Niall instead, not as close as he normally would have, but also not far away. Like, their arms would have been brushing had the younger man moved a little bit.

“Do you wanna sleep?” The older man asked quietly and Niall shrugged, thinking about it for a moment.

“Kind of… not sure if I can though. I should probably get up to pee at least once before I try to sleep.” Otherwise it would have not ended well. And Niall had to get up to go to the bathroom too many times at night already anyways. “It’s still too early to sleep anyways.”

“A bit… but if you’re tired… “ Liam always wanted Niall to be careful and just stay in bed lately, and Niall knew why and he also understood Liam’s reasoning of course, but sometimes he was being almost a little bit too protective. Not that Niall didn’t love it of course. “We’re not working tomorrow anyways, we can do whatever we want. Just sleep more and order some food or… or whatever you wanna do.”

“I’ll decide spontaneously.” Niall usually did that lately because he never knew what to expect of himself whenever he woke up. Who knew how he’d be feeling in the morning? Niall barely ever went to work now, he could have already stayed home altogether with no one asking weird questions anymore and Liam always tried to make him stay home as well, but Niall did still come along occasionally. Or at least did home office. “Liam?”

“Yeah?” The older man asked, sounding a bit worried even though there literally was no reason to.

“Why are you lying so far away? Kiss me.” The younger man jokingly demanded, but at least he didn’t have to tell his husband twice.

Liam moved over immediately and Niall knew he was more than happy that they could act normal around each other again. He didn’t go for it immediately, just slowly put his arm around Niall and then kissed his cheek for a bit until he finally reached his lips.

It was a really slow snog, and very soft and gentle and exactly what Niall needed right now. He loved when Liam was like this, when he was touching him slowly, both of them taking their time, nothing too urgent, just enjoying each other’s company and closeness. It quickly washed away everything else in this world, the entire day, everything that had gone wrong and that maybe Niall was still a bit upset. None of that mattered anymore, just Liam.

Niall would have definitely not minded taking this further in a few minutes, even if it just ended in a handjob because lately having sex was a bit of a challenge sometimes. It didn’t really get to that point though, because he suddenly had to pee so freaking badly that he kinda had to push Liam off of him. 

Of course the older man was really confused for a moment, but then he laughed when Niall told him where he was going and that he had been about to pee himself.

“It’s really not at all funny.” Niall half yelled at Liam from the bathroom while peeing, not having bothered to fully close the door.

There was no answer, and Niall had no idea what Liam had been doing while he had been gone for like 2 minutes, but when he came back, the older man was sitting up on the bed, staring at his phone.

“Seriously? I leave our make out session to pee and you can’t think of anything better than to check your phone immediately?” Of course it was just a joke, Niall laughed a bit as he got back on the bed as well, but that quickly changed when Liam didn’t join. “Li? What happened?”

“Nothing, just… “ The older man sucked in a breath before wordlessly handing Niall his phone. There was just one message on the lockscreen that he hadn’t even opened yet. There really was no need to though.

_Dad 19:39  
Congratulations on the wedding and the baby. It was so lovely to meet your husband today _

“What an idiot.” Was all Niall could say, handing the phone back with a weird feeling in his stomach. “Just text him back a thank you. He’s just sending this to make you feel stressed out or to cause a fight between us. He probably thinks I didn’t tell you or something. Or that we’re fighting because of what happened and he wants to fuel the fire.”

“We were fighting.” Liam reminded him, his voice sounding a little bit numb right now and Niall reached out to take his hand, intertwining their fingers.

“No, we weren’t, I was just a little bit pissed, that’s all. Forget about him, screw him. He can’t do anything now that he couldn’t do before he found out about me. With me not signing that contract, I’ll most likely never see him again.” And he would also never have a career in music now, so it was also whatever. “What’s the worst thing he could do that he couldn’t do before? He can’t even make me lose my job because I work for you, he can’t slash my tires, because I don’t drive, he can’t tell my parents shit about me because they already hate me most of the time when I’m not pregnant. Nothing can happen.”

“I just don’t trust him… he’s out of control and unpredictable… it just scares me a bit. He hasn’t texted me in years and years, and whenever he was trying to get my employees to quit, he just did it quietly. He never tried to actively get into contact with me or anything. It’s just… weird. And out of character.” Liam seemed very thoughtful before he put his phone away again and Niall felt really bad, but there was nothing for him to do or say. He barely knew Liam’s dad of course. “What did he say to you today?”

“Not much, he just came in and I didn’t know who he was and then he introduced himself as my father in law, it was all super strange and uncomfortable. And then he congratulated me and told me how much of a pity it was you didn’t introduce us earlier, then he asked about the baby and then after a while he went to the bathroom and I saw my chance to get the hell out of there.” Niall shrugged a bit, the memory a lot more dramatic than what he had just said. More internally though, he had barely spoken to Liam’s father out of shock.

“God, I hate him so much for all of this bullshit.” Liam sighed and Niall squeezed his hand in sympathy, pulling a bit to get the older man to lie down with him again.

This time, they were lying a lot closer together, cuddling instead of snogging because the mood was already ruined anyways. Niall didn’t really know what to say or what they should have expected, but he knew that the older man was thinking the absolute worst. No idea what that was or if Niall even wanted to know that.

He was still a bit upset because of today, but once he realized just how much Liam was actually suffering because of all of this, his anger quickly faded as they cuddled in bed and the younger man put his arms around Liam, comforting him a lot more than the other way around.

They shouldn’t have been dealing with all of this crap, not ever, but especially not so closely before the birth and everything. There was nothing to be done now though, it had already happened and they could really only make the best of it.

Which, in this case, was trying to forget and to stick together and not let Liam’s father drive a wedge between them like he had almost done today. Of course it was still Liam’s fault in the end, but Niall had forgiven him and Liam had promised him he’d never do something like this again, so that was enough for the younger man.

Niall tried not to sleep before Liam that night, but he honestly wasn’t sure if he actually managed to do that. When he woke up the first time to pee though, Liam was fast asleep as well, so that was at least something.

\-------------------

“Yeah, I know that, mom… “ Niall couldn’t help but roll his eyes to himself while Louis was laughing next to him, barely trying to be quiet unless Niall reached over to push him. “We’ll have a name by the time the baby is here.”

“Which could be ANY moment, Niall. How can you be so careless?! How did you not decide already or ask for the gender?” She was freaking out, and Niall had no idea why he had even picked up the phone.

Maybe because spending time with Louis, James and the girls because Liam wasn’t letting Niall come to the office anymore wasn’t the most exciting, just exhausting. The girls were playing on the playground and Louis had James on his lap, trying to somehow entertain him while the little boy was squealing because he was so happy to see and hear so many children running around.

Luckily Niall’s mother hadn’t heard that through the phone just yet because she had no idea about James and Niall didn’t feel like telling her right now.

“We wanna see the baby first. And we don’t care for the gender anyways, we’ve got a list of names for both. Also unisex names, so it’s like… we’ll be fine. “ Or something like that at least. Niall had come to realize there was no need to keep freaking out over it because it was what it was. Maybe Liam was right.

Also, they had enough other problems right now. 

Nothing had happened anymore regarding Liam’s father, the past week had actually been really quiet and Niall had fully forgiven the older man while Liam was still desperately trying to make it all up to him even though Niall kept telling him he didn’t have to. He might as well have been talking against a wall though.

“And what are you hoping for? What colors do the clothes and the toys have? Did you buy it all in neutral colors?” Oh god, why had Niall answered the damn phone?!

“They’ve got all sorts of color, we don’t believe in dressing boys in blue and girls in pink.” Niall simply told her without getting angry. That was one thing that had improved from the past, Niall wasn’t losing it anymore on his mother because he just did not care enough at this point. “I gotta end the call now, I’m kinda busy.”

“Alright, but Niall, seriously, think of a name. You will be too stressed out to do it the day you give birth and then the next and the next and then you will have to pay a fine as well and-“

“We’ll be fine, mom. I’ll talk to you later, bye.” Niall barely waited for her to have said goodbye as well because he was so through with the call while Louis was just laughing next to him. James was busy for now playing with his car keys, so that was something. 

“Since you were talking about clothes with her, you can have all the clothes James has already grown out of, I forgot to tell you, Harry’s been putting them all back in the bags for you already. Some of them he’s literally worn one single time.” Louis shrugged, and Niall was a little bit relieved to hear that.

“Thank you… we barely got any stuff, we were so focused on the room and everything else, we kinda forgot about that.” And they didn’t exactly have a big family to gift them stuff. “I don’t know how you do it with 3 kids… Especially with those age gaps.”

“I don’t know how we do it either. Maybe it kinda helps we had Josie so young because now it’s kinda all we’ve known for so long. But see it on the bright side, you and Liam at least have some life experience and you have nothing to worry about financial wise or your living situation. Or unfinished degrees and shit like th- oh, wait I’m not supposed to say that anymore in front of James. Harry thinks it’s gonna screw him up already.” Louis then laughed again, a bit too much, and now Niall wasn’t sure anymore if he was really dealing as well as he was telling him. “Every child is different as well, so tips don’t really help.”

“None of this is comforting in any way.” Except the financial situation of course, the fact that Liam was rich and that at least they had a house and could buy toys and afford doctors and whatnot. Still… “I’m scared what’s going to happen with our family situations… my mom’s gonna wanna see the baby all the time and Liam’s dad… is a ticking time bomb.”

“But he never contacted either of you again after what happened last week?” Niall had told Louis because he had gotten on his nerves asking about the music contract and he had had a lot of opinions on Liam’s decision to keep this from Niall until Niall had told him to just stop. It was in the past after all and it had been Niall’s decision to forgive him. 

“No… I hope he just won’t ever again. It’s really taking a toll on Liam, he was really worked up… still is. Also, my parents are already enough anyways.” Then again, Niall’s parents were just a bit annoying and overstepping every kinda boundary there was, but they’d never try to sabotage their lives… not to say they wouldn’t have, if they had had the opportunity to do so. “I just never wanna see Liam’s dad again.”

“Understandable… I mean, I don’t know what he’s done to Liam as a child, but from the two examples you’ve told me… “ He broke off then and Niall just nodded. He shouldn’t have told Louis, but he had really only chosen the most basic terms to describe what had happened to Liam when he had been a child. “Now I understand Liam’s decision not to tell you even less though.”

“He wanted me to take the opportunity… and he didn’t think his dad would ever show up there. I’m not saying I wasn’t angry, but I know he had good intentions.” He would have never done anything to hurt Niall, and the younger man knew that 100%. “Anyways, it’s not about that anyways. I just hope his dad doesn’t do anything.”

“What’s he gonna do? Show up to the hospital when you give birth?” Louis said it like a joke, but suddenly, Niall was afraid for a second. Not for very much longer though because the older man kinda ended their conversation as he yelled across the playground because he seemed to have spotted something. “Clara! Don’t eat the sand, I told you 100 times!... Clara! Here, can you hold him for just a second?”

Louis handed James to Niall kinda hastily before he jumped up to run over and keep his daughter from poisoning herself. James looked a bit unsure at first, but he knew Niall so luckily he didn’t cry. It was a bit weird to hold him because of Niall’s stomach, but it worked kinda well.

“Your sisters are always getting into trouble, hm?” Niall spoke to him absently as he watched Louis scolding Clara across the playground. “You’re already a lot calmer than they were when they were babies… maybe you can teach that to mine?”

James just made a few noises and Niall let him play with Louis’ keys again as he waited for his friend to come back, a little bit lost in thoughts because of everything they had been talking about.

Spending time with James always made Niall feel a bit calmer because he was such a sweet baby and hardly ever cried, he was even doing quite alright with sleeping despite the fact that he was barely 5 months old. Then again, 5 months was really big considering it still felt like yesterday that Harry had given birth to him so unexpectedly. 

Thinking about that gave Niall way too much anxiety though so he quickly settled for watching Josie instead while Louis was busy with Clara, just to make sure someone was keeping an eye on her as well. Maybe he and Liam would be really good at dealing with just one child after Niall had had some practice now with three, and he’d never be alone anyways, Liam would always be there.

They stayed for a little while longer, until Josie came back complaining that all the other kids on the playground were babies and Clara was still traumatized from her almost sand eating experience and James was getting tired.

Louis was pushing the stroller with Josie pretending to be helping while Niall was holding Clara’s hand as they were walking back home.

“Is uncle Liam coming later?” She asked with very hopeful eyes and Niall could have still melted each time she asked about Liam or was all over him. She literally loved him so much that Harry and Louis had also commented on it multiple times, telling them that she would even talk about him in front of their extended family. 

“For a few minutes, he’s coming to pick me up later.” Niall explained to her, but it was still kinda early for that right now. “You’ve just seen him two days ago.”

“Yeah, but I wanna show him something I built in my room.” Clara told Niall and he just nodded, about to ask what it was, but then Josie was a lot quicker.

“She just wants him to play horse with her again like he did last time. No one else wants to ever play with her horses for that long.” The older girl explained and yeah, Niall had a faint memory of Liam having been gone for an hour to play with Clara the other day. When he had gone to check, they had been on her bedroom floor playing with some toy horses and he had just been glad it hadn’t been him because he wouldn’t have ever been able to get back up off the floor. 

“I don’t think there’ll be much time for that, love. It’ll already be almost bedtime by then.” Louis threw in, probably to not make her any false hopes, and Niall felt a bit bad for her. After all, he knew how amazing Liam was. 

“Oh.” Clara made, looking disappointed, but she quickly bounced back. “But maybe he can read me a bedtime story.”

No one said anything to that, because no one was sure how late it would be and whatnot, and Niall was just hoping she’d forget about it once they were home.

Harry was at home writing something for a new book, having used the time that everyone had been gone for a few hours. Yet somehow he had still managed to make food for everyone and Niall would never stop being impressed with how Louis and Harry made parenting of 3 children look so damn easy. He knew they were struggling at times as well, but it still never looked like it from the outside for some reason.

It wasn’t too late once they were done eating and Niall helped Harry doing the dishes while Louis was keeping the kids busy again. 

“How was it at the park? I never asked.” Harry seemed to suddenly remember while Niall was absently drying a plate.

“There were lots of families and kids… I think James really enjoyed that. It looked like it at least.” The girls… Niall had no idea, and he didn’t wanna repeat the sand story, that was Louis’ job. “And he-… oh.”

“What?” Harry asked when Niall had suddenly stopped talking, having put the plate down to touch his stomach. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, just… I felt weird for a second. Probably nothing.” It had happened before, not like this though, but Niall assumed it was fine. “I think the baby just moved or something.”

“Well, did it feel like it moved?” His friend kept asking, and Niall thought about it for a moment, then he shrugged. He honestly couldn’t remember it anymore now. “Did it hurt?”

“I don’t think so. I’m not about to have this baby, Haz, there’s at least a week left.” Niall told him with a laugh as he picked up the plate again and his friend just took it like that.

They talked about other things for a while, and it still wasn’t too late after so the girls made Niall play some board games with them. The feeling Niall had had did come back, but not like, very frequently or very uncomfortably, so he ignored it for now. It was kinda in his back and maybe he had just been walking too much today, to the park and through it, and then back, it would probably be fine if Liam would be giving him a back massage later tonight.

There was still an hour left until Liam would even leave work and come to pick Niall up on his way home, but that was kinda when Niall was starting to feel a little bit weird. The thing was, he was 38 weeks pregnant, technically the baby could have come any day, but he had not been expecting it in any way. Plus, what he was feeling did not feel like contractions anyways, so there was like, no need to freak out about that. Even if it HAD been contractions, it could’ve been hours until he would have had to go to the hospital.

It was only when Niall went to the bathroom to go pee for the 100th time this day, that he noticed something even weirder, but was genuinely not sure if it had really happened once he was done.

“What are you doing?” Louis had walked past the hallway right when Niall had come out of the bathroom, having stopped for a moment to think about what had just happened.

Niall looked at Louis for a moment, not sure if he should have told him or not, but then he did it anyways, in the most calm voice possible.

“It’s, uh… it’s possible that my water broke. But I’m not sure.” Niall explained carefully, feeling slightly dumb, and his friend was just staring at him for a moment, blinking a few times. 

“Wait, I- how can you not be sure?” Louis asked, confused, and, good question.

“If I’m not sure it probably didn’t happen, right?” Niall drew his own conclusions, already wanting to let it drop, but Louis wasn’t letting him. “It’s surely nothing, I probably just had to pee a bit more than I thought and-“

“No, wait. If your water broke we have to drive to hospital.” He insisted out of nowhere, immediately putting Niall into panic mode, because, no, this was not at all going as planned. “Niall, seriously. Are you having contractions? I’ve seen Harry go through this three times, each time was different.”

“I’m… I don’t know. Even if I did, they’re surely not strong enough to go to the hospital, I felt a bit weird before, but that was-“

“But if your water broke we have to go anyways. Trust me. It’s better to be safe than sorry.” Louis seemed more than just set on driving Niall to hospital right at this second, and Niall was suddenly starting to feel really fucking scared. “I’ll tell Harry and then I’ll drive you.”

“Wait, no.” Niall stopped Louis, his friend already having been about to walk back to the kitchen. “Liam will be here in an hour. I’ll go with him.”

“I know you want him to be there, but if something is really going on then it won’t happen in the next hour anyways, he can meet us there. Ni, seriously, we should really go. Worst case they say it’s nothing and you go back home, but we shouldn’t wait if something’s genuinely going on.” Okay, well, his arguments were too good. “If you feel more comfortable then Harry can go with you instead.”

“I… I don’t mind who of you drives me, I just think we should wait for Liam.” Niall knew it was dumb, but he was suddenly so scared that he almost had to go back into the bathroom.

“Nialler, it’ll be fine, I promise. If you text him right now I’m sure he can leave work early and maybe he’s gonna be there before us anyways. I’ll go tell Harry, okay?” And then he had already left, and Niall was experiencing a really awful moment of standing along in Harry’s and Louis’ hallway, not sure if his baby was about to come completely out of nowhere or not.

And with Liam not here on top of that, after they had planned that he’d stay home the last week as well in case anything happened during the day. And now here they were.

Of course Harry was completely on Louis’ side, and he even distracted the girls after telling them that Niall and Louis had to go pick something up really quick. It all felt a bit like a blur and Niall wasn’t even really sure how he had gotten into Louis’ car, staring at his phone ,waiting for Liam to answer his text.

“He’s not answering.” Niall informed Louis after he had tried calling Liam, the panic inside of him only getting worse with every second. “I don’t think I wanna do this without him.”

“Are you scared?” Louis asked, which honestly, was a dumb question, because Niall was TERRIFIED.

“Yeah?” He gave back, because wasn’t it obvious? Also, on top of that, he could definitely feel pain now, not frequently, but it was still there. “We had this all planned completely different and I never thought he wouldn’t be there if anything happened and now… now he’s not answering, and what if he’s taking longer than usually and everything at the hospital goes really quick?”

“Ni, try to stay calm, okay? I know this is difficult and it’s not helping that I have no idea what it’s like because I’m always on the other side, but if there’s one thing I know it’s that a baby won’t come within an hour when you barely have any contractions yet. Liam will be there on time, I promise.” A little calming, but then again…

“But I want him to be there for every part of it.” Niall gave back, because it was like… he wasn’t sure if he could even go inside without Liam, he really needed him here right now at this second. “I’m calling him again.”

They spent the drive with Louis trying to calm Niall and Niall attempting to call Liam a thousand more times with no success and no text back. And then they were at the hospital, in the parking lot, and Niall was definitely feeling a contraction and he was really and genuinely about to lose it.

“Ni, we should go ins- are you crying?” Louis looked really shocked upon seeing Niall cry, but the other man didn’t even bother wiping his tears.

“Yeah, because I’m about to have a baby and Liam isn’t here and he’s not answering his damn phone.” Niall was cursing, his voice shaking and he genuinely didn’t know if he could even manage to walk inside. “He always answers and he always texts back within a few minutes, and right now today when I really need him, he-“

“He’s calling.” Louis interrupted, having watched Niall’s screen, and Niall’s heart skipped like twelve beats as he hurried to pick up, almost dropping his phone in the process.

“Li, you have to come to the hospital.” Niall told him immediately, attempting to wipe his tears now, his voice shaky.

“I ready your text, I’m already on the way downstairs, okay? Are you okay? What happened?” Liam sounded equally as panicked as Niall felt, so that wasn’t all too calming.

“I think my water broke and I think I’m having contractions. I wanted to wait for you but Louis and Harry said we need to go the hospital right now, but-“

“They’re right, Nialler. Go inside, yeah? I’ll be there as quick as I can, babe, I promise. It’s going to be okay.” Again, not very calming.

“I don’t think I can do this without you.” Niall told Liam, kinda hoping he could waste so much time that Liam would already be here to hold his hand while going inside. “I’m scared, Li, I really need you here for this… “

“I know, baby, I’m almost by my car, yeah? I’ll hurry.” Liam’s voice had immediately gotten softer, but it only made Niall wanna cry even harder and just absolutely lose it right fucking now. God damn it, why?! “Nialler, it will be okay, I know it. I’ll be there in a few minutes, okay? You don’t have to be scared, I’m coming.”

“I’ll wait until you’re here.” Niall told him, looking at Louis who just sighed, but was seemingly giving up on trying to convince Niall.

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes, if it’s really bad you should-“

“It’s not, I’m fine. I’m not even sure if they are contractions.” Niall tried to talk it all better, even though he was aware that Louis was an Alpha as well, right next to him, in his car, and he had even told Niall he could tell his scent had changed before. So there was that. “Don’t drive too fast, please. If anything happens to you-“

“Nothing is going to happen to me, Ni… hang on.” Liam was clearly getting into his car and putting Niall on speaker, which was a huge relief, because that meant he was going to be there sooner. “Everything is going to be f-“

And then the connection just cut off and Niall was staring at his screen in complete shock. “The call just ended.”

“His phone probably ran out of battery. Try calling him again.” Louis suggested, so Niall did, with really shaky fingers, and it went straight to voice box, confirming the theory. “He’ll be there in just a few minutes.”

“Fuck… “ Was all Niall brought out, it was already too much, and now this. He just buried his face in his hands, trying to somehow continue breathing. “Why is this happening?!”

“Ni, this could have happened any day or time in the last-“

“I know that, you don’t need to tell me.” Niall snapped immediately through his tears, feeling bad but at the same time just wanting to continue to yell around. “I don’t want this to happen, I wasn’t even prepared.”

“You’ve still got hours.” Louis was probably trying to calm him, but it only made it worse.

“Hours of pain, yeah. And I hate hospitals too, why didn’t I think of doing a home birth?!” Now Niall was crying even harder, uselessly wiping at his face while Louis was clearly struggling to come up with any kind of smart answer. “I’m so fucking stupid!”

“Ni-“

“No, don’t say anything, it’s true.” It really was, what had Niall been thinking? Had he even been thinking at all?! “God… I just w-want Liam to be h-here… “

“He’ll be here soon, Nialler.” His friend reassured him, but Niall was already crying and on the verge of losing it, so he might have as well said nothing at all.

This went on for another few minutes, until Louis told Niall he could see Liam’s car and the younger man almost jumped out of the car immediately, his face wet with tears as he waited for Liam to come over, feeling so much more relief than he could have ever even imagined.

“Sorry, my battery ran out of charge… Nialler, don’t cry, it’ll be okay. I’m here, everything will be fine, we talked about this, we got more than enough tips from the doctor and we even watched all those videos, you can do this.” Liam was hugging him, pressing kisses against the side of Niall’s head, rubbing his back while Niall was struggling to just catch his breath. “Shsh, you’ll be okay… “

“What i-if I w-won’t?” Niall asked in between more tears, not knowing what he expected as an answer, but he honestly just wanted to go back home. “I h-hate hospitals… “

“I know, baby, I know… but I’ll stay with you the entire time, we’ll do this together, okay? And we’ll be out of here again in no time and then we’ll finally have our baby with us.” Okay, now he was trying to talk it better, but it wasn’t helping either.

It took a lot more convincing from both Liam and Louis until Niall was ready to go inside. Louis went with them because he had the idea that if Niall really needed to stay, he could borrow Niall’s house key and go pick up some of his stuff so that Liam wouldn’t have to leave Niall here by himself. A great idea, but honestly, Niall didn’t even remember hearing him say anything, or his presence, he was just squeezing Liam’s hand, literally wanting to die.

They had already gotten registered at the hospital beforehand a while ago, and Niall still felt like crying when they asked him all sort of questions before sending them to wait somewhere for a doctor to come and check whether Niall was really about to give birth. 

Those few minutes were literal torture for Niall, despite the slightly amusing moment when the doctor wasn’t sure if Niall had two Alphas and why a second one was here as well if he didn’t. Maybe he’d be able to laugh about that in a few days, definitely not in the next few hours.

“Alright… “ Niall hated having exams where the doctor had to put his fingers inside of him, even if Liam was holding his hand the entire time, probably as nervous and scared as Niall but way better at not letting it show. Somehow, Niall was both terrified of the doctor saying yes, he was about to have the baby, and no, he should go back home because then it’d just be a delay. He was suddenly also almost losing it over the thought of anything being wrong with the baby. “Your water did definitely break and what you are experiencing are contractions, even if they are just light for now, everyone experiences them quite differently. I’d suggest you stay here, if you went home you might just be turning the car right around. And the baby is doing just fine, it’s in the perfect position. I will send in a nurse to get you admitted. It will be a while until you’re open enough to have this baby, but I’m confident it won’t be too long.”

“Oh… o-okay. Thanks.” Okay, this was going WAY to fast, and Niall couldn’t even return the smile the doctor was giving him.

“I’ll have her come in right away, it will only be a few minutes.” And then he left them alone, and it was finally time for Niall to completely break down in tears.

“Baby… “ Was all Liam said and Niall barely heard it, he felt so stupid for over-reacting like that, about giving birth when people did that every day all over the world, but he just wanted Liam to put his arms around him and hold him right now. Which he did, luckily, and it barely made a difference, but it was better than nothing. 

At least he was here, at least he wouldn’t ever leave Niall alone. 

There was not much to say, Niall tried to cry quietly and to stop himself from shaking like a complete idiot, but he wasn’t really sure how well he was doing with that. Before the nurse came in to get him admitted, Liam texted Louis to just come into the examination room because he had been waiting outside the door, giving him his keys so he could go and get Niall’s stuff for him.

Louis tried to encourage Niall before he was leaving, telling him how he’d finally get to meet his baby soon and how exciting it would be and how worth it would have been afterwards and whatnot, but all it really did was making Niall want him to just leave even more.

Not much time passed between Niall and Liam waiting for the nurse and Niall ending up in a private room in bed, thanks to Liam’s insanely expensive insurance. Once they had found out and gotten all of Niall’s information, somehow it seemed that everyone was treating him a lot nicer too, and Niall kinda hated that, but he couldn’t have really complained. Also, the pain was definitely becoming a lot worse so Niall was allowed to be moody and annoying.

And to cry a little bit more.

“How bad is it?” Liam was sitting on a chair next to the bed Niall was now lying in, holding his hand and unevenly brushing his fingers through the younger man’s hair. Niall knew how nervous he was, he could see Liam shaking a bit and the red spots of stress on his neck, but he ignored it because he could have really not been bothered to calm the older man down right now or downplay the pain he was in periodically now.

This was a lot worse than he had expected from what Harry had been telling him or according to what he had been reading about online. And if this was already so bad, Niall didn’t even DARE to think about the actual birth because it kinda made him wanna pass out right now at this second so he wouldn’t have to experience it.

“It’s… I can’t describe it.” Niall shrugged a bit, trying to save his breath for another contraction though. At least he had stopped crying now because he was a lot more busy not suffocating or squishing Liam’s fingers in his own.

The older man was definitely feeling helpless, and especially whenever Niall pressed his eyes closed in pain and tried to just make it through while being somewhat silent, it was quite obvious but there was nothing Niall could have done. Hell, he would have wished someone could have done something for HIM instead.

“You know they could give you something later… for the pain.” Liam suggested quietly while Niall was doing fine and not feeling pain for a few moments. He was stroking Niall’s arm now, their fingers intertwined. 

“I’m not taking anything against the pain, I told you.” Niall gave back, a little bit harshly, but he could just about feel another contraction beginning to start.

“But it would-“

“Please be quiet.” Niall somehow pressed out between almost clenched teeth and Liam shut up immediately.

From then on, the older man stopped making suggestions or giving Niall tips or asking how he was feeling, he was just staying there by his side, getting him to drink some water and putting a wet towel over his forehead, brushing back his sweaty hair while Niall wished he was dead.

Louis might have come back to bring Niall’s stuff, Niall genuinely could not remember anymore after this had been going on for a while. A nurse came by once a while to check on him, or on Liam more like because it was obvious that this was taking a toll on him too, especially because he couldn’t do anything. Niall was aware of that somehow, but he also didn’t care about it. He was the one in pain after all, Liam was just sitting there holding his hand.

There was a clock on the wall across from Niall’s bed, and if anyone had told him he’d still be lying there three hours after he had been admitted into hospital nowhere near being open enough to give birth to this baby, Niall would have surely cried even harder outside when he had still been in Louis’ car. 

Now, he didn’t really have much time to make up for it. Or maybe he was crying, it was really hard to tell, because Niall also registered even heard every third word Liam said, or the feeling of his lips against his heated skin. It was all just a blur if anything. A very painful blur.

It was surely already dark outside by the time someone came to check for the last time if Niall was open enough to give birth, and he half expected another no, but when he didn’t, he only started to feel even more nervous.

“I’ll send in the doctor, I think you’re ready. How are you feeling?” The nurse was smiling sympathetically and Niall tried to return it, but he just ended up shrugging. She then looked at Liam as well, who looked like he was about to have a panic attack as well when Niall checked briefly. “And you?”

“I’m fine, I’m not the one in pain.” Liam told her quickly, probably so Niall wouldn’t get upset with him. Had he yelled at Liam? Possible.

The nurse left after that, but it took at least 10 more minutes before the doctor actually came back, looking strangely motivated and happy while Niall was breathing through another contraction. So that was it, the moment he had been afraid of for fucking months now. And he hadn’t even been able to properly prepare himself mentally. 

“Alright, Mr. Payne, let’s have this baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woohoo hes finally having this baby :D im still accepting name suggestions btw haha!
> 
> also sorry if i suck at answering comments from the last chapter, as boring as my last internship was, my new internship pretty much consumes my entire time. i hope you enjoyed the chapter! some drama but then i think the ending is still a surprise! i just couldnt take it any longer to have niall being pregnant haha!
> 
> thank you for all your support, i love you guys! have a great week! <3


	26. Chapter 26

Liam knew that this was way harder for Niall than it was for him, that the younger man was terrified and absolutely did not wanna have to do this, but Liam was still shaking more than him when the doctor came in with a nurse. He seemed very motivated and well up for delivering their baby, but it still didn’t make Liam feel all too comfortable.

So much could have gone wrong, complications happened all the time, what if something happened to Niall?! Or the baby? Or worse, BOTH?! What the fuck was Liam going to do then? Sure, this wasn’t about him, but then again, Niall and this baby were his entire life, so somehow, it WAS about him as well.

And there was nothing at all he could have done to help Niall except hold his one leg to help him so he wouldn’t have to do so much on his own when the doctor instructed him to prop up and spread his legs. 

“Alright, this will all go smoothly and easy. Just take deep breaths and try to stay calm, you’re in good hands, I promise.” The doctor was smiling before putting on a face mask, taking a seat in between Niall’s legs and Liam looked back at his husband, whose face was a as white as a sheet. “On the next contraction, I want you to start pushing.”

“Okay… “ Niall half whispered, only briefly looking at Liam who stretched a bit so he could kiss the younger man’s temple.

“You’ll be okay… it’ll be fine.” Liam mumbled, not sure if he truly believed that himself, but what was he going to say? He needed to be strong for Niall. “I’m sorry I can’t do this for you, baby.”

“It’s a good thing you won’t have to, you would’ve been crying even more than me.” Niall joked, and Liam let out a breathless laugh, right before it got stuck in his throat when Niall’s face scrunched up. “Oh fuck… “

“Alright, push, Niall.” The doctor instructed him and Liam watched him anxiously completely exhausting himself. “You’re doing great.”

It was absolute hell for Liam as well. Because they were bonded, he could feel Niall’s pain, and he could of course also SEE it written across his face even if he didn’t let a sound escape. It went like that for a while, with nothing really happening and Liam made sure to get Niall some water to drink through a straw and to wipe off his forehead and stroke his hair, but he wasn’t sure if the younger man even really noticed because he was so busy pushing and trying to somehow get through this pain.

“Fuck… I’m so tired… “ Niall whined after a while and Liam squeezed his knee sympathetically. “Is anything even happening?”

“You’re almost there, I could almost see the head on the last one.” The doctor assured him, but it only made Niall groan in frustration and Liam could see the tears shimmering in his eyes. 

“Only almost?” The younger man asked in frustration before leaning his head back and Liam wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what and then Niall was already pushing again. 

It seemed to take forever, it was a constant fear that something bad might happen, but nothing ever happened and Liam could tell Niall was getting even more frustrated and exhausted, the doctor and the nurse staying positive but Liam himself wasn’t sure how much longer he could take. 

Not that it was up to him to feel this way, but on the inside, he still did. Only because of his concern for Niall of course, and because he felt like a fucking useless idiot right now.

“Fuck, fuck… “ When Niall was groaning, Liam felt alarmed immediately, but the doctor seemed thrilled.

“If you look down, you can see the head. The baby’s crowning.” He explained to Liam, and Liam did look but it all felt so surreal and Niall was making noises of pain next to him and just all of it together was completely overwhelming and not at all how he had imagined this would go. “Big pushes, Niall, you’re almost there, this is the hardest part.”

“You’re doing so good Nialler… “ Liam mumbled, his eyes now stuck on what he could see of the baby, and he wasn’t really that surprised about Niall’s answer. 

“P-please s-shut up- _fuck!_ ” Niall cursed some more and Liam tried to remember to keep his damn mouth shut from now on because he had no idea if Niall was doing good or not, he just wanted to be there for him in some way. 

When the head came out, Liam froze because he actually could not believe it, and he did feel bad because Niall seemed to be in even more pain when he had to push out the baby’s shoulders and it was just him screaming and the doctor telling him to keep going, that he was almost there, and Liam trying to take this all in and not freak the hell out. 

Yeah, it was a really magical moment, but at the same time Liam wasn’t sure if either of them would be like those people walking around telling everybody their birth had been wonderful. He felt like they’d more be talking about the traumatizing aspects of it.

“One last big push Niall, c’mon, one m- there you go!” When the baby’s body came out completely, Liam couldn’t believe his eyes, he was just staring as they quickly cleared the baby’s airway and it thankfully started screaming immediately. 

“You can cut the cord.” The nurse told him while Liam wasn’t even sure if any of this was real, and he never knew if he had really cut the cord or not, he just heard the doctor and the nurse saying things and the baby crying and Liam was pretty sure he was crying also at this point.

“Congratulations. It’s a girl.” The doctor told them as the nurse quickly wrapped the baby up before putting it on Niall’s chest and it was only then that Liam was looking at him again because he had been so focused on everything else going on.

“Oh my god… “ Niall whispered while Liam watched, completely flashed from this entire experience, seeing his husband with his baby, it was like… the most beautiful moment that had ever happened to him. But it still felt like a dream at the same time. “Hi, baby… I’m your daddy… “ 

“She looks like you.” Liam blurted out, not really knowing how to behave or where to put his hands but he just moved so he could kiss Niall’s head, wanting to pinch himself because he couldn’t believe that this was real. 

“You can’t even see her.” Niall told him, and then he suddenly laughed and Liam saw the tears dropping from his eyes that of course immediately made him cry as well. “Stop crying, Li… “

“I can’t… I love you so much. Oh my god. I can’t believe this.” Liam was laughing as he leaned in to kiss Niall on the lips, ever so gently touching the baby, their _daughter_ , and somehow, everything felt okay in this very moment, everything was exactly how it should have been and there was nothing at all that Liam would have changed about it.

“I love you too, Li… “

\--------------

Niall seemed a lot more exhausted from the birth than they both would have thought he’d be. He told Liam that it had been horrible, and painful, but even after a few minutes he couldn’t clearly recall any of it anymore, just that he had probably been really mean to Liam but he was positive the older man knew he had just been in pain and hadn’t meant it like that. Liam assured him that it was all forgiven and forgotten.

The nurses had to take the baby to get it cleaned and measure it and check it for everything and Niall was really anxious giving her out of his arms, but he knew he had to. Liam felt the very same, but they were together the entire time, never letting go of each other. Liam helped the younger man to go shower a while later and to get somewhat cleaned up. They brought them to a different room, Liam was getting Niall there in a wheelchair while the younger man struggled to keep his eyes open. 

If it hadn’t been for Liam half carrying him, he would have possibly never made it into that bed and probably fallen asleep right there in the delivery room. This couldn’t have really just happened, they couldn’t have really just had a baby, right?! And it was a girl and Liam and Niall were completely over the moon when the nurse brought her back to them, those moments without her having felt like eternity.

“This is so insane… I can’t believe she’s here and that I really just gave birth to this baby… what are you doing?” Niall was laughing quietly when Liam checked the baby’s name tag on the foot. “You think they gave us the wrong one?”

“No, just checking.” Liam told him, feeling a bit stupid about it now as he made sure to cover up their baby’s foot again. “She’s beautiful… I can’t believe we made something so gorgeous.”

“Me either… “ Niall mumbled as he was staring down at their daughter, she was moving a bit in his arms, but half asleep, making a few noises as Niall moved his one finger down her cheek and Liam was just staring.

He had his arm around Niall, sitting on the bed with him, kinda wanting to cry again immediately because he had never been this happy in his entire life.

There really was nothing much to say, they were just enjoying this moment together, their first few minutes as a family. Liam did take pictures after a while, and then Niall gave the baby to him so he could hold her as well and of course, Liam promptly started crying again as he leaned down to ever so gently kiss the baby’s forehead, barely brushing the skin. He had been dreaming about this moment so often, and here it was. So much better than he could have ever even imagined it to be.

“You’re gonna make me cry again as well… “ Niall mumbled, weakly stroking Liam’s back as he remained half lying down, his voice gentle. “Li… “

“Sorry… “ Liam sniffed, trying to wipe his tears with his free hand, not being able to take his eyes off of their daughter. 

“I love you… I could have never done any of this without you. You know that, right? You’ve been the best through my entire pregnancy, I was a pain in the ass most of the time and you just took it like that and you always knew what to say and what to do. Thank you for that.” The younger man suddenly told him, and Liam did look at him when he said it.

“I love you too, Nialler. You don’t have to thank me, I wish I could have done even more for you. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that for the both of us.” Liam really meant it as he looked down at his husband before leaning in to kiss him gently, right before the baby made another noise. “Oh… maybe she’s getting hungry.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to nurse her immediately... “ Niall sounded unsure, and though he had definitely leaked a bit of milk a few times during the last few weeks, they both weren’t so sure.

So Liam got a nurse back into the room to help them, who comforted Niall in that apparently, lots of parents weren’t able to nurse the baby immediately, that it could take a while, maybe even days, and that he shouldn’t worry at all. To both their surprise though, it seemed to work immediately.

Liam thought it was really fascinating to watch Niall nurse the baby and he stayed close, keeping his hand somewhere on the younger man at all times so he knew he was there and that he’d never wanna go anywhere at all. He’d do anything for these two, anything at all in this whole world.

“Look… she’s got your eyes... “ The younger man whispered in completely shock when the baby opened her eyes for a single moment afterwards, and Liam saw it too, even though he could see a lot of Niall in the baby’s face as well. Maybe she was really a perfect mixture of the two of them, just like they had hoped.

“I think a baby’s eyes still change during the first few months.” Liam told him, itching to take more pictures of the baby, but also not wanting to constantly only look at her through the phone.

He was still in bed with Niall after the younger man had told him that there was enough space, and Niall was lying in his arm holding the baby while they were both just watching her in complete awe.

“But maybe they won’t… she’s also got your eye shape and everything.” It was kinda true, Liam could see it, but she also had Niall’s lips. But maybe they were just really imaging all of that. “I think… I think we’ve got a name on the list that fits her perfectly.”

Liam had to think about it for a moment as they discussed it, but he had to agree immediately. Saying that name again after having seen what she looked like and everything, it seemed to be perfect for her and Niall had to laugh, telling Liam he had been right to tell him not to stress out over their name fiasco.

It had really been that easy after all. 

\----------

Niall told Liam he could send everyone pictures and tell them the name in the text message too, telling him to text his parents from his phone as well to get it over with. Despite Niall’s joy and excitement about having given birth to their daughter, he was so tired that he did fall asleep after a while.

When he woke up, Liam was sitting on a chair next to his bed with the baby in his arms, not having noticed that Niall had woken up yet. So the younger man took that chance to just watch Liam with their daughter, holding her so gently in his arms and stroking a finger over her cheek as she slept, his face filled with pure adoration.

This baby could have not had a better daddy than Liam, Niall knew it. Of course he didn’t think he himself would suck as a parent, but he just knew Liam was the softest parent ever, that this little girl would never have to worry about anything at all, that they would both do their very best to protect her always, and be there for her, through anything.

Niall did fall back asleep after watching for a moment, feeling very comforted in knowing that Liam was right there next to him holding their sleeping daughter.

Because Niall had given birth in the middle of the night, or early morning almost because he had been in labor for so long and he still did not know how he had even survived, no one was really awake anymore to text back by the time Liam texted them.

They spent the night half asleep, half awake, their daughter sleeping through most of it but she also cried a few times, and Niall had to feed her a couple times as well. Nurses kept coming into the room to check on both Niall and the baby, and though it was kind of a terrible night in the sense that it was completely exhausting, it was still one of the best nights Niall had ever had.

Just because Liam was there with him, and they finally had their daughter in their arms and it felt like the best dream in the whole world. How had Niall even deserved any of that?!

Liam could already practice his skills at changing a diaper while Niall just laughed because he really could not get out of this bed just yet even if he had tried and he saw the older man struggling a bit. 

Niall hated the hospital food, so he was absolutely thrilled when Harry and Louis were finally awake to text back and Niall could tell them to bring him food once they’d come for a visit. Turned out though that they’d come way later because of the kids, and it was actually Zayn who was the first one to come at almost the crack of dawn, with, god fucking bless him, two pizzas for them.

“I figured you’d probably be hungry. Who knew they start selling pizza at 6 in the morning? And the place was packed as well.” He handed Liam the cartons, his eyes already stuck on the baby in Niall’s arms. “She’s gorgeous, guys. Even more than in the pictures, she looks exactly like the both of you.”

“Do you wanna hold her?” Niall offered immediately, not being able to take his eyes off of the pizza and Liam laughed as Zayn looked a bit shocked at the quick offer, but agreed instantly.

He sat on a chair next to Liam holding her, his eyes stuck on her the entire time and Niall could tell he was getting emotional but was trying very hard to hold back. He didn’t say anything, mostly because he had already filled his mouth with pizza.

“Did you already pick a name?” Zayn asked after a moment, still not looking up, and Niall was a little bit surprised.

“I thought Liam texted everyone the name.” He looked at his husband with a questioning look, but Liam just shrugged, having to swallow first.

“I forgot. And then I thought it’s weird to send another message with just the name and I knew everyone would come by anyways and then it’d be more special.” Then he looked at Niall, as if he was waiting for something, and it took a moment for Niall to realize he was waiting for him to tell their friend their daughter’s name.

“Hazel.” Niall told Zayn, feeling his stomach get all warm because he had never said it out loud before to anyone except Liam. “Hazel Marie Payne. Because she’s got Liam’s eyes, and his exact eye color.”

“But they’re probably going to change.” Liam threw in and Niall saw him blushing a bit. He knew how happy Liam was that Niall had suggested that name because of him, but when he had looked at his baby with her eyes open, he had just known that that was her name.

“They might not. It’s a beautiful name either way.” Zayn told them with a smile and Niall nodded, because he agreed. A beautiful name, for the most beautiful baby he had ever seen, and he wasn’t just thinking that because it was their baby, but because it was the truth. “Sorry I never asked you, how are you doing, Ni?”

“I’m okay… just exhausted. But we both are, it was a bit of a rough night.” Niall had definitely slept more than Liam though. He knew the older man had been very anxious a lot of the time, afraid something would happen to the baby or Niall, he was always like this, overprotective. But Niall loved him for it. “Your pizza just made it about a hundred times better though, so thanks.”

“You’re welcome, I couldn’t think of anything else you’d need right now. I was actually going to buy you guys something for the baby this week, but she really came out of nowhere. And I was only awake by accident.” He laughed, quietly, probably as to not startle the baby, and Niall just smiled.

“You don’t have to get us anything at all, Z.” Liam told him immediately, and Niall nodded in agreement. He had already gotten them a gift after all, for Liam’s birthday months ago.

“Oh, I’ll get you something, I never wanted to admit it to myself, but I like looking through the baby section.” He grinned and Niall had to agree that it kinda suited Zayn. He’d make a great uncle, and possibly a great dad if he ever decided to become one. “Crazy, huh? Considering how we all met and now we’re here, and you guys are married and I’m holding your baby, and it’s barely been over a year since Liam didn’t wanna hire you.”

“We don’t have to talk about that.” Liam quickly told him, but both Zayn and Niall just laughed, causing the baby to move a bit, make a noise, but then she slept right on.

“It is a funny story though. In hindsight. It really is crazy we’re all here and that all of this happened. And now we’re parents.” And just a year ago Niall and Liam had had completely insane office sex. Now that Niall wasn’t pregnant anymore… he wouldn’t be opposed to doing that again some time. 

“It’s still a shock, I never saw Liam as a dad, but now it feels like he was more meant to be a dad and a husband than anybody else I know.” Zayn kinda said it like a joke, but Niall knew he was being very serious, could also see it in the way Liam’s face got a bit red.

Niall would have reached out for him, but he was too far away and Niall was busy eating. He ended up eating some of Liam’s pizza as well, and then he had to feed Hazel again and Zayn stayed for a really long time just talking to them and holding the baby, and when he left because he had to get to work, it wasn’t very long until Harry and Louis arrived.

Harry had texted Niall he didn’t wanna stress him out by bringing all of the kids, but Niall had told him that it was fine because he knew how much everyone wanted to see the baby. And obviously they couldn’t leave James by himself or find someone to babysit him on such short notice, and there also really was no need to. Niall felt fine, exhausted, but still overjoyed.

“Where is the baby?!” Josie and Clara were completely hyper as they entered the room after they had barely said hello, and Louis shushed them immediately, holding a very sleepy looking James.

“Girls, remember what we talked about? You talk as quietly as you would in a church.” He scolded them and Niall bit back a smile.

“We’ve never been to a church.” Josie complained while Clara seemed more happy to see Liam than the baby. “What’s the baby’s name?! Uncle Niall, can I hold her? Pleeeease?”

“Sure, you can.” Niall told her, sitting up a bit more straight, the baby in his arms, moving around because the noises had woken her. “C’mere.”

Josie climbed on the bed despite Harry trying to stop her while Clara climbed onto Liam’s lap, watching them closely from there. “She’s soooo cute. Girl babies are so much cuter.”

“Don’t let your brother hear that.” Louis told her, but she ignored him.

Niall made her sit next to him, helping her to hold the baby but she was big enough to know to be careful, and she had just gone through all of that with James around 5 months ago. Still, he made sure to stay alert, just in case.

“So, what’s her name?” Josie kept pushing because he had never told her before, and Niall kinda enjoyed that moment where he knew everyone wanted him to say it, and he just waited another second.

“Hazel.” He told them, like Zayn before, and everyone was very quick to tell them that it was a gorgeous name, and that they were sure her eyes would stay exactly like that. Niall just nodded, smiling as he shared a look with Liam, who had Clara on his lap now looking as if she’d fall asleep any moment. They had probably woken the kids way too early, because Josie seemed to be the only one truly awake. But that could have also come from all of her excitement about the baby.

After a while, she calmed down as well, and everyone got a chance to hold the baby. Liam helped Clara to hold her because she didn’t wanna get off of his lap anyways, and she seemed impressed, but at the same time also very neutral about the situation. Niall was very relieved when Hazel was being held by adults only after that, but he also thought it was really funny when James took some interest in her. Very short lived interest though.

“That could become your best friend, buddy, and you’re just interested in that blanket.” Louis told him, and the little boy just made some gurgling sound when his dad picked him back up, laughing when Louis kissed his cheek. 

“Are your parents coming?” Harry asked out of nowhere, and Niall had to admit, he hadn’t checked his phone in kind of a long time because Liam still had it and he was busy with Clara, so he just shrugged. “But you told them?”

“Liam texted them. I’m not sure if I want them to come here, they can visit us at home or something. I hope we can leave soon.” Everything was looking fine according to the doctors, so Niall had very high hopes. The very first time that everything in their lives seemed to be going as planned, at least for a day. 

“I’m sure you can. You look a lot better than I did after every time.” Harry told him immediately, and then he looked down at the baby because he was holding her, sitting on the edge of Niall’s bed. “And she does, too.”

“I’m not sure if I trust anything you say.” Niall gave back, biting back a grin when his friend looked at him in confusion, and Niall tried to word it in a way suitable for children to hear. “You told me it’d be easy. It was actually the most terrible experience ever and I’m glad I can only remember half of it.”

“Would it have helped if I had told you the truth?” Harry asked with absolutely no remorse, and Niall rolled his eyes. “You were already anxious enough.”

“I wasn’t even that anxious.” Niall tried to defend himself, but they all knew it was a lie.

“You were crying in my car refusing to get out.” Louis threw in randomly, and okay, that was going too far.

“I literally just gave birth, Lou.” Niall reminded him, slowly shaking his head at Liam because he could sense he was about to say something. It was all just jokes though. “I’d like to see you going through that.”

“Me too.” Harry agreed, chuckling to himself.

“Through what?” Josie asked, and Louis just petted her head.

“Nothing, love. How’s it feel to have another cousin, hm?” He tried to distract her, and Josie went on and on about how cute Hazel was, and how she loved her so much more already than all of her other cousins. 

She then asked Niall if she could tell all her friends about her and if she could show them pictures when they came around for playdates, and Niall assured her that that was of course very much alright with him and Liam. It was a big relief, to know that their baby had a family, even if there were no blood relations.

Then again, Niall’s parents were also there and maybe they didn’t have the best relationship, but Niall could imagine them to be good grandparents. Because if they wouldn’t be, they’d never get to see her again and that was a promise he made to himself. He wouldn’t allow his own child to go through what he had gone through, not even if it would be something completely different because they were just her grandparents.

What worried Niall was really only Liam’s dad at this point, he’d find out about this of course, he had already seen just how far along Niall had been when they had met. And he had texted Liam once already after not having texted him in so long, he’d surely do it again at some point. If only to rile them up again and try to mess with their heads.

Kinda crazy to think that a grown man would attempt to do that. Niall wanted him nowhere near their daughter, didn’t even want him to see a single picture of her and he was relieved to know that Liam was on the exact same page.

Niall really just wanted to enjoy his time with Liam and their daughter now, their friends occasionally, but nothing else in this world seemed important to him anymore, not his job and not his possible career in music that had been screwed up anyways. Probably for the better if Niall thought about it right now.

After all, he wanted to have his full attention on his daughter and no one and nothing else in this world.

\------------

Niall had to stay one more night at the hospital before they could already go home because everything was fine. The baby was healthy and the nursing was going really well, and Niall felt a whole lot better after getting a bit more sleep the following night. 

His parents came by a few hours after Harry and Louis had left, and of course Niall’s mother was crying getting to hold her granddaughter and even Niall’s dad seemed to be very emotional. They also brought way too many gifts and not one mean or uncomfortable word was said during the entirety of their visit, which was really surprising. In a very positive way.

They even left again without overstaying their welcome, which would probably be the only time they did that, but Niall would just have to accept it. He had nothing to complain about right now. Nothing at all.

“It’s a good thing she came so early, now you’ve got three weeks at home with us as well.” Niall kinda wanted Liam to just do Home Office after those three weeks, but he’d wait to drop that bomb on him. He knew Liam wanted it too, but that he felt obligations towards the firm and the employees as well. “And she definitely weighed more than enough.”

“She’s huge.” Liam laughed. He was in the front seat driving and Niall was sitting in the back next to Hazel’s carrier while she was sleeping. It was secured and everything, but he was just a little bit afraid because it was their first time using it. “I’m glad I get to spend more time with you and her as well. Maybe I’ll just go back for a few days after that to see if the building’s still standing and then I’ll stay home again.”

“I would definitely not say no to that.” Niall told him immediately while staring at their sleeping daughter, looking like an angel. She moved a tiny bit when he gently stroked her cheek, but stayed deep asleep otherwise. “I wonder if she’ll even fit into any of the clothes we got her.”

“We can just return them otherwise. She’s gonna outgrow them super quickly anyways… and Harry and Louis gave us this whole bag of stuff as well.” Right, Niall had almost forgotten about that, they had brought it along to their visit yesterday and he had been very happy because he had been worried that they hadn’t gotten enough clothes for their baby. “I’m still surprised with us that we managed to get her room ready on time.”

“Me too.” The younger man laughed because seriously, they really were not the best at planning things and getting them done on time.

Niall could not wait to get home, he left Hazel with Liam to go and take a shower, a really long one as well to wash all of these hospital feelings off of him. His stomach had gone down a lot as he briefly looked at it in the mirror, and it’d take a while before it’d be anywhere near where it had been, but Niall was good with this change already because it had gotten uncomfortable to move.

And he had missed sleeping on his stomach as well.

Once he was fully dressed, he made sure to go back to Liam and their daughter quickly, helping Liam to change her diaper while she cried a bit, and then he sat on the rocking chair they had gotten only a few days ago to nurse her while Liam just watched.

It was really peaceful, Niall had always been afraid that it would be uncomfortable, or that he wouldn’t be able to produce enough milk or that something else could go wrong, but it was working out just fine. And he actually loved feeding Hazel, having her close and knowing she was alright and doing well with drinking or they wouldn’t have been allowed to go home so soon anyways.

“Do you want something to eat later? I’d say I’ll cook something but we’ve got nothing at all at home.” They had been supposed to go grocery shopping the day Niall had gone into labor, and now it was two days later. 

“We can order something. You can get whatever you like.” Niall told Liam with a smile and the older man returned it as he got up from the couch, walking over to kiss Niall on the forehead and then on the lips, his hand briefly over the back of Hazel’s head. 

“I’ll get what we both like.” He promised, very Liam-like and Niall felt a lot warmer. “I’ll take a quick shower, okay?”

“Okay.” Niall leaned his head back, moving the rocking chair a bit with his foot when Liam had left and he was still feeding their daughter.

He felt like he could have slept in right now, but at the same time, he didn’t wanna miss a single second of this, wanted to keep staring at his baby and breathe in her scent that he knew would soon fade. They hadn’t given her a bath yet, but Niall was planning on doing it later, to get all of those hospital memories off of her as well.

Once she was done feeding, Niall just continued to hold her, kissing her gently on the forehead, rocking her back to sleep and never taking his eyes off of her face. He couldn’t believe that she was theirs, that after everything, he was in this moment holding his daughter. All the ups and mostly downs, all the troubles they had had in the past few months, starting pretty much the moment they had met, and when Niall had found out about his pregnancy.

He had known before that he couldn’t have lived with himself had he gotten an abortion like he had planned on doing for a few hours that day he had taken the test. But now looking at Hazel, he knew it would have killed him, and just the thought that he would have never gotten to meet her would have haunted him forever. Of course Niall wouldn’t have ever blamed anybody for doing what he had planned on doing, everyone’s situation was very different, and he had just been more than lucky that he had Liam by his side, helping him through all of it. 

He was aware that not everyone got even half as much as he had in this very moment. He had had nothing before he had met Liam, no hopes of it ever getting that much better, and now he had all of this and it almost felt like he didn’t even deserve it or something. Like, who had that much luck in their lives? Niall, apparently.

They gave Hazel their first bath while waiting for the food, and Niall had a really hard time putting her in her crib for the first time and going downstairs, even though they had the baby monitors on and it was getting kind of late.

“Is it weird that I kinda wanna sleep on the couch in her room just to make sure she’s alright?” Niall laughed nervously as they were sitting on the couch eating. He didn’t truly think that it was weird, he was just really anxious about all of this, because this was her first night at home, and their first night all by themselves as parents. 

“We’ll put the crib in our room, okay? Then we’ll hear her immediately.” Liam promised, squeezing Niall’s knee on his lap and the younger man felt himself relax. Yeah, maybe he’d be able to relax if she was right next to them the entire night. “It’ll be fine, Nialler. She will be fine, she’s just sleeping.”

“I know, I’ve just held her for so long since she was born, now it feels weird to have my arms free.” Liam had held her a lot as well of course, but Niall more because he had also been feeding her a lot and just generally, it felt weird to not have her with him at all times anymore. Of course before that she had been in his stomach, but she had literally been with him for months and now they were separated, and it felt weird. “I’m so glad everything went fine… I mean the birth was… not that great, but it could have been worse, I guess. Could’ve lasted longer.”

“It did last really long.” Liam reminded him, and luckily Niall had pushed most of that into the very back of his mind. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“I’m fine, Li. And we got our baby because of it, I’d do it again anytime.” Well, maybe not ANY time… “Don’t worry, we can have more kids, I just need a break to forget about the pain.”

“Maybe it gets easier the second time around.” Liam suggested, but he obviously regretted it seeing the younger man’s face. “Or maybe not.”

“Well, according to Harry it does, but he also lied to me about everything else.” For good reason though, but still. “I guess I really was kinda hysterical… sorry if I was freaking you out when I called so many times. I was just really afraid to go through this without you there.”

“I know, baby, and you don’t have to apologize, I wanted to be there with you just as much. And I’m sorry I gave you a scare when my battery ran out.” That had been one of the very worst moments, EVER, because Niall had literally thought that something had happened to Liam in that second. Which obviously would have been horrible in that moment, but even worse because something happening to Liam was one of Niall’s biggest fears. 

“It wasn’t your fault, Li. And it all went fine, right? I mean, it was painful, but nothing happened and we’re all fine and doing well and-“

And then Hazel cried for literally one second through the baby phone and Niall immediately jumped up while Liam chuckled quietly, but he did end up following him.

They did put the crib into their bedroom later, but Niall took Hazel to bed with him for a little bit before putting her down one last time tonight, just to cuddle her a bit more because he couldn’t seem to separate just yet.

“Did you think it would be a girl or a boy? We never talked about that.” Niall asked Liam, the older man next to him, an arm wrapped tightly around him and Niall let himself melt into his side, head on his shoulder while they were both watching the baby.

“In the beginning I kinda thought it was a boy. But then Harry and Louis had James and then I thought it’s probably a girl. I mean, two completely unrelated events, but still. You?” Liam asked quietly, letting his head rest against Niall’s after kissing him.

“I think I changed my mind every day. Like, the chances were 50/50, so like… I’d like to say I could feel it would be a girl, but I don’t think I really thought anything in the end.” Just that he wanted the baby out of him so he could live a more normal life again. “I’ll tell everyone we know I knew all along that it was a girl though, so don’t let anyone know I’m lying, okay?”

“Never, baby.” Liam promised with a chuckle, squeezing him.

The older man held her as well before they put her down into her crib because she had long fallen asleep, and Niall couldn’t help himself but to snog Liam for quite a while before he was ready to fully commit to going to sleep as well. Of course they weren’t gonna go any further or do anything with the baby in the room, and Niall also still felt sore, but now that his stomach wouldn’t constantly be in the way anymore, he was also looking forward to being intimate with Liam again.

Not for the next couple of days though, probably, because he really needed some rest and he didn’t wanna traumatize their baby even if he knew that she was way too young for that anyways.

\--------------

The first few nights were really terrible, there was maybe one where they could sleep a bit longer, but after a week, Niall felt completely exhausted. So much that Liam almost had to force him to go and lie down during the day to sleep while he was taking care of Hazel.

Niall’s fear of not producing enough milk now felt like a distant memory, because he was actually producing too much and that was not comfortable either. At least he could pump some though, so Liam could also feed her while he was asleep, so that was something. Then again, Niall really wanted to nurse her himself most of the time, because it just felt more secure and comfortable.

He was aware though that he needed to also take care of himself, and luckily Liam was there being a superhero as always, constantly reminding him to take break, take naps, drink more water and to eat more. Harry and Louis actually brought them food a few times, and Zayn also offered and told them they could call him at any point they felt like they needed a break and he’d watch the baby while they slept.

It felt really nice to know they had this kinda network and that people were willing to help them, and even Niall’s parents weren’t too overbearing and just let them be for that week, only asking for pictures which they were taking the entire time anyways. 

The time seemed to fly by lie crazy, even though Niall’s days were exactly the same and he barely left the house in the first few days. Of course then came the doctor appointments and all of that fun stuff, and even though it wasn’t a lot, Niall felt exhausted literally any time they came home, from anywhere.

He and Liam made a really good team just by themselves, and Liam was the driving force behind that. He cooked most days, massaged Niall’s back, made him tea and made him take hot baths, got up at night when Hazel was crying without waking the younger man and just… being his very perfect self, as always.

So the morning before he had to go back to work, Niall felt anxious. It had been 3 weeks and he knew he’d be just fine, that Liam always had his phone on loud now and that he could have called one of their friends, or even his parents, but still.

“I’m gonna miss you. I’m sure Hazel will, too.” He told Liam while they were eating breakfast, the baby still asleep upstairs. Or finally asleep, because it seemed she had been awake the whole entire night. At least that’s what it had felt like to Niall anyways.

“I’m gonna miss you too. Both of you.” Liam told him immediately, putting his hand over Niall’s on the table, waiting for him to look him in the eyes. “You know I don’t have to go. I can do whatever I want.”

“I know, but I know you wanna see if everything’s going fine and you’ve got meetings and… I mean, at some point, both of us will have to leave the house regularly again. Sorry, I didn’t wanna make you feel bad or anything.” He knew he had, but that was because he had selfishly kind of been wanting Liam to stay.

“You didn’t. I wanna stay home, I just wanna check in with everyone for a bit. I think I might take more time off after that. I don’t wanna miss anything.” He told Niall, and the younger man felt quite the same.

He knew there were practically no milestones to miss at the age Hazel was, she wasn’t even a month old, but still. If it had gone after him, they would have spent every breathing moment together, all three of them. Of course that was unrealistic and they would have probably lost their minds at some point, but that didn’t mean Niall couldn’t dream, right? 

“You won’t, we’ll both probably just sleep. Or try to.” Niall assured him quickly to make him feel better, offering a smile and a squeeze of his fingers as he turned his hand around. “Are you finally gonna tell people we had a baby after they’ve been asking so many times?”

“I might, if somebody asks again today. I might even show them a picture or something.” Liam shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal, but Niall had to bite back a smile. He knew Liam was a very proud dad, that he would have shoved pictures of Hazel into stranger’s faces on the street if given the chance and Niall loved it. 

“I’ll take lots of pictures for you to keep you updated throughout the day.” Niall promised. Maybe they were taking too many pictures of her, but Niall wanted to keep those memories for the rest of their lives.

Liam had to leave a little while later, he went upstairs to say goodbye to Hazel, clearly having a very hard time to do so, and then he kissed Niall goodbye at the door, more deeply and desperately than the younger man would have expected. But he also wasn’t opposed to it, at all, even if he was making the older man come late because he was snogging him in the doorway. Liam didn’t even leave after they had pulled apart, he kept peppering Niall’s face with kisses until the younger man was laughing, keeping him close with an arm around his waist, telling him he loved him at least 5 times before he left.

It felt weird to be alone in the house then, but Niall was keeping himself busy for quite a while, definitely falling asleep for a nap on the couch in Hazel’s room, but she was also sleeping soundly for now, so that was something. Niall fed her after she had woken up, changing her diaper and putting one of the onesies on her that Harry and Louis had given them.

She did cry a lot at first, and Niall had a hard time calming her, but it was okay. He just walked her around the house, talking a lot to her, random things really, and then he put on the TV just as background noise and it seemed to do wonders for her.

Liam had been gone for maybe a bit over three hours when Niall got hungry again, and he ate some grapes with one hand while holding Hazel, absently watching the TV when the doorbell rang. Or, the bell at the gate outside more like.

It made Niall flinch and that made Hazel flinch and she started crying immediately.

“Shsh, it’s okay, love… it’s okay.” Niall tried to calm her as he walked to the front door to check, his stomach feeling super weird, telling himself it was probably just the postman or something. But they hadn’t ordered anything.

There was a camera in the house to check for who was outside, and when the bell rang AGAIN, Niall finally made himself check. He immediately regretted it as he saw who it was, his grip around Hazel getting weak for just a moment, but he held her tightly as he stared at the display.

It was Liam’s father. 

\----------

“Mr. Payne, can I ask one more question?” Liam had been on his way back to his office, actually thinking about just going home right now because he felt like his absence hadn’t hurt the firm at all. Sure, the meetings had been piling up and everyone seemed to want something from him today, but still.

“You can walk with me.” Liam decided quickly as one of his employees had been running after him right after the meeting had finished, way too late than planned. God, these people were so damn motivated. “What’s up?”

“I was just wondering if we could talk about ordering new printers for the second floor, they’re all about to break down and they keep heating up and we have to give them breaks and it all takes so long and-“

“I’ll take care of that. Thanks for telling me. Is there anything else?” Liam really wanted to end this conversation before they were getting to the elevator because he did not want this person in his office.

“Actually… “ And then more issues came tumbling in and Liam listened with only one ear, getting his phone out of his pocket to check the time, but it seemed to be just perfect timing, because Niall was calling him exactly in that moment. 

“Sorry, that’s my husband, one second.” Liam interrupted the employee, coming to a halt in front of the elevator and the other man just kept standing there next to him, but Liam honestly didn’t care. Everyone had already known that Niall had had their baby three weeks ago, and Liam HAD let himself be talked into showing a picture around when someone had asked at the meeting. Just one though. “Hi, babe, what’s-“

“You have to come home.” Niall told him immediately, with no greeting, and he seemed to be so freaked out that Liam panicked instantly.

“Are you okay?! What happened? Is the baby o-“

“We are okay, it’s just… “ The younger man took a deep breath then, his voice sounding very shaky and Liam forgot to breathe, forgot where he even was. “Your dad was just here , Li. I mean, he rung the doorbell, a couple times, I pretended I wasn’t home but I don’t know if he really left and- how does he even know where you live?! And what did he want?”

“I… I have no idea, Nialler.” Liam told him truthfully his throat feeling really tight as he thought about everything that could have gone wrong. “I’ll come home as quickly as I can, okay? Do not open the door, alright? Just stay inside and I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

“Okay… sorry I’m making you leave work, I-“

“Ni, don’t apologize. I’ll be there soon, babe, it’ll be okay.” Except, nothing was even really wrong, but Liam didn’t know what else to say, he felt really flashed and confused and just… overall, not well.

Liam ended the call with Niall, almost having forgotten about the employee standing next to him having listened to all of this, probably thinking somebody was about to break into Liam’s house with Niall at home or something.

“Listen, um… can we talk about this tomorrow? You can also send me an email. I have to leave, there’s an emergency at home.” Liam lied a bit, barely waiting for the other man to tell him that yes, of course, he’d just write him an email, and then Liam was already gone.

More people wanted something from his on his way out, but he had to tell them all he’d be there for them either tomorrow or via email, because he just needed to get home. He should have never even left, and now Liam also felt guilty for leaving Niall alone with the baby, and really upset with himself for doing this risking both Niall’s and their daughter’s safety. Not that he thought his father would have harmed them, but like… what did Liam even know?! 

He had no idea how his father knew where he lived, or how he could have possibly found out that Niall had given birth. And even then it would have not been as strange as him randomly showing up to the house, on the very first day that Liam was going back to work.

Liam drove way too fast on his way home, and he could almost hear Niall’s voice in the back of his head complaining, telling him to slow down and be careful, but nothing happened so Liam was quick to brush that off again. When he arrived, there was no car parked anywhere near the house, but there was definitely something in front of the gate, a box. 

Liam’s father must have left it and Liam made sure to park his car within the gate before going back to take a look at the box, kinda wanting to know what was inside, kinda just wanting to leave it there. In the end, he just took it with him as he walked up to the front door, making sure to unlock the door quickly so Niall wouldn’t be afraid.

“It’s me.” Liam told him immediately, not yelling in case Hazel was sleeping, but loud enough so that Niall could hear him.

“Thank god.” The younger man came over immediately from the kitchen, the baby no where to be seen as he went to kiss Liam, his face confused as he stared at the box. “What’s that? Was he still outside?”

“No one’s outside, but the box was there. He must have left it or something… how’s our baby?” Liam asked quickly, kissing Niall’s forehead as well before taking off his shoes.

“Good, she’s upstairs sleeping… let me take it.” Niall took the box out of Liam’s arms so he could undress properly, putting it on the kitchen isle. “Maybe it’s gonna explode or something. I felt like I was in some kinda horror movie seeing his face on the camera… he didn’t even look upset or anything, it was like… like he was about to lose the plot and burn down the house or something.”

“He’s lost the plot ages ago.” Liam mumbled before he came over, his hand on the younger man’s back as they both just stared at the box for a moment, and then Niall went to open it before Liam could even react.

No idea what he had been expecting, not at all what he found though.

“Is that… “ Niall asked before trailing off, both of them having read the note on the top that was reading _Congratulations_. From any other person, this would have looked like a nice gesture or something, but from his father… Liam knew that it meant nothing good.

“All my old stuff, yes.” Liam told him, clenching his jaw as he stared at the box full of things he had long forgotten about, even stuff he had played with and worn as a freaking toddler. It brought back so many memories that Liam wanted to fucking puke on himself.

“Why would he do that?” The younger man seemed very confused, and then worried when he studied Liam’s face and Liam noticed, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the box.

“To let me know he knows we had the baby. And that he knows where we live. And to remind me that my entire childhood happened by giving me all this stuff.” Also, Liam only now thought of turning around the note, and the back made him even angrier. “He can’t be serious… “

“What? What’s it say?” Niall asked immediately, and Liam handed him the piece of paper wordlessly.

It just read _if you husband still wants to sign a music deal, I’d be more than willing to help him out_. Which was of course just another attempt to get involved in their business and maybe cause tension between them, rile them up and make them feel quite unsure of what his intentions were. Fucking hell.

“Does he really think I’d do that?” The younger man mumbled, and Liam shrugged, giving up on staring at the box, instead going to sit on one of the lower steps of the stairs, burying his face in his hands. “Li… I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault… and nothing even happened, this is just… frustrating. I don’t know what he really wants, I’m scared he’s gonna do shit like that all the time now… I really don’t want you to ever be alone with him, especially not with Hazel. I never want him to even see her. Not even a picture.” Liam mumbled into his own hands, feeling Niall sitting down next to him, the younger man’s arms wrapping tightly around him as he leaned in close. “Maybe he found out about the books… “

“How could he have? No one knows but me and Zayn.” He was pressing his lips against Liam’s shoulder before putting his head there, and Liam just held still, wanting Niall to keep holding him like this forever.

“No idea… it doesn’t even matter anyways, it’s just… I know he hates me, I don’t know why he would even bother to do any of this. If he ever shows up again, we should call the cops.” Liam rubbed over his face one more time before sitting up more straight again, reaching out to hold onto the younger man’s wrist.

“I don’t think they could do anything… it’s not illegal to ring a doorbell.” The younger man was clearly trying to tell him very carefully, and Liam just sighed. 

“Whatever… I just want him gone and forget about him. I’ve been so good at that and then all this shit happened and-“

And then they both heard Hazel cry from upstairs, both of them flinching before they went upstairs together, the conversation over for now.

Liam half expected Niall to go and get her, but he didn’t, so Liam did instead, trying to shush her quietly as he picked her up out from her crib, sitting down with her on the couch and she calmed down again pretty quickly in his arms. It definitely had a calming effect to hold her and now Liam knew why Niall had let him do it.

“Li, it’ll be okay. He’s just playing some games and he thinks he can get us to play along and to get upset. But he doesn’t know us, right? He never will. We’ll get rid of this box unless you wanna keep any of the stuff and-“

“I’d burn it if I could.” Liam told him immediately, staring down at their daughter, feeling Niall moving closer until he was melted into Liam’s side, kissing his cheek.

“Okay, we’ll get rid of all of it, yeah? And then whatever he does, we’ll just let him do it and we just won’t react. Eventually he’s gonna get bored. I mean, realistically, what’s the worst thing he could even do?” So many things, because he was literally insane, but Liam really didn’t even wanna speak these things into existence, so he only shrugged a bit. “It’ll be okay, Liam… we’ve got everything we wanted, right? We have each other, we’ve got Hazel, I’ve never been this happy in my life. I won’t let this be ruined by some man who thinks he’s being funny.”

“Me neither… “ Liam was just worried, but for Niall’s sake, he decided to let it go for now as he leaned his head against the younger man’s. “I love you, Nialler.”

“I love you too, Li… we made it this far, we can make it through anything at all.” The younger man tried to encourage him, and Liam wasn’t sure if he believed that, but he was trying his very best in that moment. Maybe this was how Niall had always felt when Liam had tried to encourage him that everything would be okay whenever a disaster had been waiting to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello :)
> 
> i hope you enjoyed the chapter and that you like the name i chose haha! i dont know how i pulled off writing this chapter in a matter of hours last night, but here we are! im a little bit ready to move on from this fic, but dont worry, i wont just end it like that haha. and i also have no idea what to write after this one haha! ill probably finish this fic right before uni starts again for me (in october) and id have more time again because that always happens rip
> 
> let me know your thoughts if you want! i hope youre all doing well, thank you so much for the support & have a great week :) <3


	27. Chapter 27

Of course Niall was worried because of what had happened, and he also felt really anxious now whenever he was home alone with the baby, but luckily (or not), Liam was just as anxious as him and always left work early from that day on. He did realize after about a week of this that actually, he could do most things from home if Niall was caring for Hazel most of the time anyway, so to the younger man’s relief, Liam decided to stay home again a week after all this had happened.

Sure, the baby crying probably distracted Liam quite a lot, but then again, he wasn’t the one who had to take care of their daughter and make her stop and calm her, so Niall thought it was actually a fair trade. Not that Liam didn’t always offer anyways and still got up during the night even though he had to work in the morning. 

Niall really could not complain about anything at all.

“What’re you doing?” Niall was surprised when Liam came downstairs, walking over to the couch where Niall was half lying down with the baby sleeping on his chest, the TV muted so she wouldn’t be disturbed. Liam had an office upstairs that the younger man had hardly ever seen him use since he had basically moved in here months ago already. Up until very recently.

“I’m taking a lunch break.” Liam told him quietly, leaning down to kiss Niall’s lips, his fingers brushing Hazel’s head but he was probably afraid to wake her after her 40-minute crying fit from before. “Without lunch.”

“It’s 10 in the morning.” Niall had had to turn his head quite a bit to look at the digital clock on the wall. Time had literally lost all meaning to him.

“I usually stop working at like 1 or 2, so I gotta have my break early.” The older man explained jokingly, lifting Niall’s legs so he could sit on the couch as well, putting them over his lap instead.

“Pretty sure people who work less than 6 hours don’t even get a lunch break.” Niall would have to know. Sometimes he hadn’t even gotten any break at all at the jobs he had worked even though he had worked normal 8-9 hour days.

“Do you want me to leave?” Liam asked with a grin and Niall rolled his eyes, but then he shook his head with a smile.

“No… you can massage my feet and then I’ll count it as work time and we can have lunch together later.” Mostly because Niall could have eaten 10 lunches and it still would have not felt like enough. He just felt so exhausted and hungry the entire time now. 

“You’ve got yourself a deal, babe.” He seemed only too happy to do what Niall had asked him to and damn, Niall was way too lucky, it should have not been possible to have the kinda life he had. Sure, there was this one issue, but it was already a week in the past by now.

They stayed quiet for a bit, Liam was rubbing Niall’s feet and Niall was absently stroking Hazel’s back, kind of starting to feel sleepy as well having her breathing against him, and Liam giving him the best massages, as usual. 

“Are you writing again?” Niall had to ask a question or he’d fall asleep, and he kinda didn’t want to right now.

“I’m trying… why?” The younger man had seen Liam writing a few times last week, he had never really asked, mostly just because he always felt so exhausted lately that he quickly forgot about things that weren’t related to what their daughter needed.

“Just wondering… what about?” That was the part Niall was most curious about, he knew Liam had pretty much written down his entire past already because he had read it, so now he wasn’t sure if Liam was still sticking to real stuff or whether it was fiction. Well, to everyone else his novels had been supposed to be fiction as well, only inspired by real events, but still.

“I can tell you, but it’s kind of just something I’m trying… and I think it would be more fun if I only told you when I’m done.” Well, not what Niall had expected, but he decided to accept it because it was Liam’s decision anyways. And sometimes Niall had been writing songs and hadn’t wanted anybody to hear them until they had been done completely, so he got it.

“Okay.” The younger man agreed, but then he couldn’t help but ask, as a joke of course. “Are you writing about how you have the best husband in the world?”

“I’m gonna write that next, no worries.” Liam laughed quietly, and now Niall felt slightly bad, just because he surely was NOT the best husband in the world. Not even close. That title was already taken.

“Maybe you should write a guide on how to _be_ the best husband. I think that’d be a lot more realistic.” Niall blinked his eyes open just to see Liam blush and it made him smile, his stomach filling with warmth.

“I think you should take a nap or something, before you say more weird things.” The older man suggested quickly, and Niall would have moved to kiss him, but he didn’t wanna startle the baby so suddenly.

“I’m just telling you the truth, babe.” It was true, everyone who knew them knew it too. Liam was just the best, there was nothing up for debate about that. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Nialler. Take a nap.” Liam ordered gently, but Niall never did.

They were silent for a little bit longer, and after a while, Niall’s back was starting to hurt and he decided to put Hazel down into her crib upstairs. She did still sleep in their bedroom at night, also in their bed sometimes, but during the day, Liam usually brought the crib back so Niall could take a nap in their bedroom. Which he never really did.

At this point, Liam’s lunch break had probably lasted an hour or longer, he did go back to his office for a bit while Niall lied down in bed, with the baby monitor next to him. He was just on his phone for a bit though, thinking about what he could have attempted to cook later when the older man suddenly returned and interrupted his food fantasies. 

“Another lunch break?” Niall asked jokingly, and the older man just shrugged, getting on the bed as well and crawling up to where the younger man was lying. This was what Niall loved so damn much about having Liam home, he could never seem to be able to stay away for very long, he’d always come to cuddle or spend time with the baby or make Niall stay in his home office with him for a bit so they could talk.

Of course it also helped to ease Niall’s nerves, but if he was being honest, then with each day passing, he kinda forgot about Liam’s dad ever having been here. They had gotten rid of the entire box and its contents, even the note, and it was almost a little too easy to pretend none of it had ever happened.

“I don’t know, I had no missed calls and no emails, so it’s like, no one noticed I took a break, so for all they know I’m only taking it right now.” Liam explained, which was like music to Niall’s ears. The baby was going to be asleep for a while longer hopefully, and they could just lie here together and try not to fall asleep.

Liam got down next to Niall, wrapping him up in his arms immediately and Niall’s body kind of automatically arched towards the older man’s, just wanting to be close to him. He also wanted to sleep, but that could wait because there’d be another opportunity for a nap today, but who knew, maybe Liam would have to work longer than usually today, it was always hard to tell, so Niall had to use every chance they got to spend time together.

“I don’t wanna keep you from sleeping, I won’t talk if you don’t wanna.” Liam told him quietly, pressing his lips against Niall’s forehead and the younger man let his eyes fall closed.

“Hmmm…. Let’s not talk. But you can kiss me instead.” He told Liam quietly, because they kinda only had an opportunity to do that at night or in the morning, and not every day either. Some days it would just be pecks and Niall really, really missed being close to Liam. He still was of course, but not as intimately as before Hazel had been here.

Liam didn’t have to be told twice, Niall turned a bit, leaning his head back just slightly so the older man would have it easier as he kissed him. They started out very slowly at first, not even deepening it or anything, just kissing gently, and it was Niall who tried to nudge Liam’s lips apart and lick inside his mouth, suddenly wanting more than just this.

Liam complied immediately, kissing him back and holding him more tightly and Niall had to swallow a sigh when he felt the older man’s hand slipping underneath his shirt. Of course they were still doing stuff like this, but more often than not they were getting interrupted by Liam’s phone or the baby crying and then during the times they weren’t, they were kind of too exhausted to really take it further.

So it had kind of happened that they hadn’t really had sex in what felt like fucking years and though they had done other things, it had always been rather fast and sometimes interrupted as well. Now though, Niall suddenly felt like they could take their time, just for once.

He just kept snogging Liam, his hand on the side of the older man’s face, holding him close while Liam’s palm was stroking his bare back, kissing him back just as desperately. They did have time, but not all the time in the world, because they literally couldn’t plan these things anymore, so Niall felt forced to speak up if he really wanted this. Which he did.

“Li… “ He mumbled against the older man’s lips before kissing him again because he felt addicted now, keeping his eyes closed and just feeling Liam’s breath against his skin.

“Hm?” Liam made as he rubbed their noses together, giving Niall goosebumps when his hand slipped up to his waist.

“Maybe… if we’re kind of fast and quiet… “ Niall whispered, not having to continue because he already knew that Liam knew what he was going on about.

“Do you want to?” The older man whispered back, which confused Niall just a little bit.

“Of course… don’t you?” It didn’t feel like he didn’t wanna do this, but who knew?

“’course… I just figured you do so much you’re probably exhausted… also I wasn’t sure if… you know, because she’s only a month old…I wasn’t sure if you’d feel comfortable already going further again.” Liam was wording it very carefully, but Niall almost had to laugh because god damn, Liam was so fucking cute.

“You mean you were worried I wouldn’t want your dick where our baby came o-“

“Please don’t finish that sentence.” Liam interrupted immediately and Niall laughed, wrapping his arms tightly around the older man’s neck as he kissed him, hard and a little desperate.

“God, I love you.” Niall laughed again, only having taken a quick break from the kiss. “I’m good, Li, I wanna do this. If you want to, as well. I would’ve been ready to do it a while ago, we just never seemed to really have that much time… I mean, she might start crying in a minute, but I guess we’ll have to take the risk and just be a bit quick.”

“Of course I want to, Nialler, I told you… I’ll be gentle, okay? And tell me if you wanna stop.” He sounded very worried, and he also looked the part as Niall briefly opened his eyes, just so Liam could see him rolling them at him. “What? I just want you to be comfortable.”

“I know, sorry… but let’s get to it before we run out of time.” Because suddenly, Niall felt really fucking desperate. So much it was almost embarrassing, but he could see it in Liam’s face too right before they kissed again, so that was a relief.

They both wanted to take their time, but also wanted to get on with it, and they kinda also had to, so it was a mixture of both. They started out rather slow, snogging for a while and when Liam started to undress Niall, it kinda went a lot faster. Niall couldn’t stand having Liam in his clothes anymore either and he was pulling on them while they were kissing, but he could also barely stand not kissing the older man so he could undress himself and it was all a little bit of a mess.

When Liam was kissing down Niall’s neck after removing most of his clothes except his sweatpants, Niall was already rock hard from all the kissing and touching and them not having done anything in so long. His fingers were in the older man’s hair, holding on maybe a little bit too tightly as Liam was placing hot, open mouthed kisses on his skin, leaving a love bite here and there while Niall bit his bottom lip, struggling to keep quiet.

He really did not expect it when Liam’s lips suddenly wrapped around his nipple and his eyes flew open for a moment. Niall almost pulled him away, almost asked him to stop, but then it felt so fucking good that he just let it happen, keeping the older man close as he let his eyes fall closed again, swallowing down another moan.

Liam’s teeth only _barely_ grazed Niall’s nipple, his fingers playing with the other one, and they were both clearly shocked when Niall was starting to leak milk into the older man’s mouth. It only lasted for a second though, Niall half expected Liam to pull away, but then he kept going, and it felt so fucking good that the younger man involuntarily let a quiet moan escape. 

The older man didn’t go for very long, he did switch positions of his mouth and fingers at some point, and the mere thought as well as the feeling of having him sucking on Niall’s lips and swallowing his milk was almost too much for Niall.

He felt like it should have been gross somehow, but when Liam let go and kissed down his chest and stomach instead, he didn’t really say anything and Niall was afraid he’d just moan the moment he opened his mouth, so he was forced to hold it all in.

His stomach had not gone back to normal yet, but he also didn’t really try to get it there. For just a second, Niall felt insecure having Liam kissing his slightly stretched skin, him not looking anywhere near the way he had looked when they had met, but then he remembered this was Liam, his husband, his soulmate, and all was good again.

“If you keep going… I’m going to cum.” Niall had to stop Liam as the older man was just sucking on his neck while palming the younger man through his thin sweatpants while the younger man was quietly moaning into his ear. He kinda didn’t want Liam to stop, but he also wanted more than this right now. 

Who knew when they’d get the chance again?

“Maybe I want you to…. “ Liam murmured, pressing his lips against Niall’s jaw, but he did stop touching him through his pants at least. He was hard as well, Niall could feel it against his hip. 

“But I don’t want to… “ Niall whispered, tightening his arms around Liam’s neck to pull him a bit closer, knowing exactly what he was about to say and in what tone of voice and he almost had to grin but was holding back. “I don’t wanna come anywhere besides on your knot though… daddy. “

“Fuck, Nialler… “ Liam half groaned, but it also sounded a bit frustrated. “It sounds so wrong now… but it’s still hot. How long did you not say that?”

“I don’t know, daddy, you tell me.” Niall joked, but also kinda not really, and he LOVED seeing Liam getting all frustrated with him, because it finally got him moving a bit faster.

He kissed Niall again, really hard and deep before working to remove the rest of their clothes, throwing them just anywhere in the room before manhandling Niall until he was in the position he wanted him in. Liam shoved a pillow under Niall’s ass and the younger man could barely take the anticipation, his erection out in the cold air now as Liam pushed his thighs apart, making a space for himself in between them.

“You sure?” He asked quietly before kissing Niall, his bare skin against Niall’s as the younger man nodded, not trusting his voice. It almost felt like it was their first time all over again, and though the situation back then had been 100% different, it had still happened in the same bed, with the very same sheets on.

Liam kissed him for a while before leaning back, sitting up for a second to put a hand around himself, and just seeing him stroke himself was almost too much for Niall.

He could feel Liam’s eyes on his face at all times as he rubbed the swollen head of his cock against Niall’s leaking hole, pushing one of his thighs into the mattress to have better access. He did it really slowly, probably afraid to hurt Niall although the younger man’s body was welcoming him inside immediately, giving in to the push of Liam’s hot erection.

Liam bottomed out with a bit of an unexpected thrust and Niall moaned quietly, his arms feeling weak as he wrapped them around his husband’s neck, holding him close as they stayed like this for a moment, just taking it all in, breathing against one another. 

“Fuck… I almost forgot how it feels… you’re squeezing me with every breath and… fuck… “ Liam’s voice sounded really rough, and Niall really wanted to ask how he had almost forgotten what it felt like to be inside of him after only a little over a month, but he really didn’t even have the energy to do that. 

“Just… move… “ He groaned quietly, clinging more tightly to the older man as he finally did what Niall had wanted him to do for weeks now.

It felt so fucking good, Niall was biting his lip bleeding in desperate attempts to stay quiet because the door was open. The baby’s room was down the hall, but still, Niall didn’t wanna think about that right now when he was finally having sex with his husband again.

Liam’s rhythm was fast, and hard, and they could barely kiss through it, just breathe against one another while they both struggled to stay as quiet as humanly possible. Niall wrapped his legs around the back of Liam’s thighs for as long as he could before they started to feel too weak.

“F-Fuck… _ah_ … your knot… “ Niall could feel it swelling as Liam had to work harder to screw it back inside of him with each thrust, his skin having gotten so sweaty that Niall almost had a hard time holding onto him. 

Liam grunted in response, fucking harder into Niall until the bed was moving underneath them and when he got a hand in between them, he only really had to briefly touch Niall’s erection sandwiched between them to make the younger man cum. Niall desperately pressed his lips against Liam’s as he came to suffocate his moans, but he still wasn’t quiet as he rode out his orgasm, feeling Liam’s knot having swollen to its full size and squeezing all the right places as he spilled inside the younger man. 

It seemed to last forever and Niall was seeing stars everywhere, keeping Liam’s head close and their lips pressed together until they both needed to catch their breath. Niall moved without thinking afterwards, making Liam groan and it was only then that he realized they were stuck together again, something that of course hadn’t happened in over 9 months.

“Fuck… I forgot… “ Niall mumbled, his breath still going heavy as he looked at Liam’s face above him. The older man still looked a bit as if he wasn’t fully there yet, and Niall knew it was because it was really pleasurable for him whenever the younger man was squeezing around him whenever they were stuck together like this. “Li… “

“Yeah?” Liam whispered, his face red and sweaty and Niall weakly smiled at him, brushing the back of his fingers down the older man’s cheek.

“We should’ve done that sooner… “ The younger man whispered, making Liam smile back before he leaned down to kiss him, again, more gentle this time, more slowly. 

This might have been the best part, the after. While they were still stuck together, the edge having been taking off and they could just enjoy each other’s company, skin to skin, nothing to worry about except themselves. In that moment, Niall kind of forgot about everything else in this world except Liam, and he almost wished his knot would have not gone down for another while longer so they could just stay like this, as close as humanly possible.

It did go down, of course, but Liam stayed on top of Niall after he had pulled out, Niall’s body not letting his cum drip out as it hadn’t before Niall had gotten pregnant and… wait…

“Liam… “ Niall started as they had to break their kiss because of lack of air anyways, and he was just staring up at the older man, brushing his fingers through Liam’s hair while the other man looked as if he wanted to just kiss him again and not have Niall talk right now. 

“Hm?” Was all he made, brushing their noses together, their lips just grazing each other, and Niall almost didn’t say anything, but he kinda HAD to because of that thought he had just had. His stomach felt really full now, like it had whenever they had had sex in the beginning, before they had even been dating, and it reminded him of when Liam had always commented on it, when he had been pressing on Niall’s stomach, telling him he wanted him full with his baby.

“You know that… “ Niall started slowly, needing a moment to carry on because he suddenly felt really fucking stupid. “You know I’ve not taken the pill since we found out I was pregnant, right?”

“I… “ Liam made, clearly surprised, but also confused. And then Niall could almost SEE when he put two and two together in his head. “But… you’re not in heat, so it doesn’t matter. Right?”

“I mean… I think I can get pregnant literally any time, not just during my heat.” Pretty sure, actually. “Also… I’ve felt like I might go into heat soon anyways… I don’t know if you can smell it yet, the doctor said it might take months until I get it back after birth. It’s different for everyone.”

“I’m… I’m not sure. You smell very different to me anyways than before everything, you don’t smell pregnant anymore, now it’s just different… but still really good, just in other ways…” And then they just stared at one another, both of them probably thinking the same exact thing. Well, if Niall never went into heat, they’d know why. “I doubt I just knocked you up again from this one time.”

“One time might be enough.” Niall told him, and they both knew that from experience after all. Somehow, Niall was really calm about it though, he wasn’t even sure why. “But, um… now it already happened. Sorry, it was my fault, I should’ve gone back on the pill, but I wasn’t thinking about it at all for months. And I didn’t think we’d have sex today.”

“Me neither… it’s not your fault, Nialler. Don’t worry about it, okay? I’m sure nothing happened. We can also use condoms from now on instead of you taking the pill.” Liam told him immediately, kissing his forehead, and then his nose, and Niall felt a lot calmer already.

“No… I wanna feel you. I’ll go back to the pills I was taking that weren’t suppressing my heat… I like going through it with you… although, as long as Hazel is so young… it might not be the best idea if we can’t stop having sex for a whole day or two.” Right, there were a lot of things to consider now that Niall hadn’t ever thought about before.

“I’ll leave it up to you, whatever you want, babe. You’re the one who has to take them.” Liam told him, as usual, and Niall didn’t want that decision, but he also appreciated Liam always letting him decide these things. After all, he was right, it WAS Niall who had to remember, and it was his body that was being fed these pills and carrying babies. “Now that I think about it though… I don’t think you should take the pill while you’re nursing her… I’ll buy condoms tomorrow.”

“Only tomorrow?” Niall asked, as a joke, but Liam cocked his eyebrow so he went with it. “Maybe I wanna have sex again tonight. I’ll call the doctor and ask him later. You might have to use up another lunch break to go to the store.”

“I think I could live with that.” Liam told him quickly, looking very eager and excited now and Niall almost had to laugh as he pulled Liam’s head down to kiss him again.

He was pretty sure he wasn’t pregnant again, like, that would have been ridiculous, right? It had only been a month, he really had wanted to have his body go back to normal and live a normal life for a bit, have Hazel be like 2 or 3 years old before they’d talk about more kids, but now… what would Niall have done? He couldn’t control it anymore anyways and he was 99.9% certain that nothing had happened.

Like, it had literally been ONE single time.

\-------------------------

“Does the baby sleep in your bed?” Clara had a lot of questions when they were all at the house a couple days later. Liam hadn’t really planned on inviting people over like 5 weeks after the birth, but Niall had told him he felt fine and up for it, and Harry had told them he’d bring all the food and make it too and they didn’t have to do anything at all.

Liam was still helping in the kitchen though, mainly to make sure Harry could find everything, but also because he would have felt quite useless had he not done anything at all in his own house while having guests. Zayn was here too, but he and Louis were with Niall over on the couch, watching Josie holding Hazel and trying to get pictures of her with James. So far, judging by the few words Liam caught, they were being unsuccessful. Not very surprising though, it seemed that to James, anything in this world was more interesting than another baby right now.

“Most of the time, yeah.” Liam told her. She was up on the counter, helping them cook by eating half the vegetables as they were cutting them.

“But what if you turn around and squish it? My daddy said that doesn’t happen, but I turn a lot when I sleep and then I don’t even notice it and sometimes I wake up in the morning on the end of my bed. So how can you know that won’t happen?” She kept asking, and also, good question, Liam had no idea what to answer that with. They were of course being careful when the baby was in bed with them, and maybe intuitively he knew not to turn even when he was sleeping, but how was he supposed to explain that to a little girl?

“The baby would start crying anyways if you lied on top of it, and then you’d wake up.” Harry jumped in, and Clara seemed very concerned with that answer as she kept chewing on a piece of carrot. “Your kitchen is insane.”

“Thanks, I… it was already here when I bought the place.” Liam told Harry truthfully, because well… “… just like everything else.”

“I figured.” He laughed, and Liam wasn’t sure if he should have been offended or not. Then again… he wasn’t great at interior design, so why would he have gotten the place re-furnished or pretended like he had? “Did you already baby-proof it?”

“No, I told Louis he needs to watch out because of James… but he’s not crawling yet, is he?” Liam wasn’t sure all of a sudden, he threw a look over at the couch where everyone else was, not being able to figure it out though. The thing was, James was growing up so quickly, sometimes they didn’t see him for a week and he could already do new things and looked like a whole different child. Would that happen to Hazel as well? Liam was almost a little bit terrified of it, like, time just seemed to fly by like that and she was already 5 whole weeks old.

“No, it’s a bit soon for that still. Maybe in a month. That’s when the girls started.” Harry shrugged, focusing on the food again, and Liam tried to do the same while simultaneously making sure Clara’s fingers were far away from the knife because she was right next to him. “Are you still doing home office?”

“Yeah… it’s like, the place is running fine without me there, so like… I don’t really see a reason to go back right now. Or anytime soon.” They hadn’t told anyone about Liam’s father, mostly because they hadn’t had a chance, but also because they themselves had maybe been trying to just forget about it by never mentioning it again.

It was still on Liam’s mind of course, he couldn’t just turn it off and pretend, even if he tried. It scared him, because he knew what his father was capable of, but he didn’t even wanna talk about it with Niall because he didn’t wanna freak him out. If Niall noticed that Liam was scared then it would only stress him out as well.

“I don’t wanna miss anything… it’s like, she’s getting bigger every day.” Liam told Harry and the other man just nodded and laughed. “And I also don’t want Niall having to do the work all by himself alone at home.”

“I’m sure he really appreciates it.” Harry told him with a smile and Liam almost felt like he was getting praise for doing the bare minimum, but he didn’t have much of a chance to say anything, because Clara was faster than him.

“Are you gonna have another baby soon?” She asked out of nowhere and Harry just laughed while Liam felt a bit caught off guard. His cheeks were surely suddenly getting really hot as well as he thought about what he and Niall had done a week or so ago. 

Ever since then, they were using condoms, and it was fine, it worked well, but Liam had still preferred it without. Still, he didn’t want Niall taking the pill while he was nursing the baby even though the doctor had told them it would be alright. Even doctors could be wrong, and there was no need to take that risk.

“Probably not anytime soon.” Liam told Clara and the little girl looked well disappointed hearing that. “Maybe in two years or something.”

“Are you sure?” Harry was the one who asked, and Liam suddenly felt caught for a moment before he realized that there was no bloody way Niall had told him about what had happened.

Also, why would he have even done that? Niall wasn’t pregnant again, it would have been way too soon as well. Pretty sure his body wouldn’t have even let that happen so soon anyways.

“I mean, I want more kids, and so does Niall, but we wanna wait until Hazel is a bit older and also… I think Niall needs a break.” Well, Liam didn’t only THINK that, he knew it. Then again, the younger man had also been very calm that day a week ago, but still. 

“From what?” Clara asked again, her mouth full of more carrots.

“From having a baby in his belly, love. It’s not that easy.” Harry explained to her, and had probably already explained to her a hundred times before. “If you’re gonna be eating all those vegetables now then you won’t be hungry anymore later.” 

“But I’m hungry NOW.” The little girl pouted, but she stretched her arms out towards Liam so he could put her down on the floor. “I wanna hold the baby too.”

“Then you need to go ask uncle Niall.” Harry told her and she was off a second later, leaving them alone in the kitchen.

For a few minutes, they worked in almost silence, mostly because Liam was still stuck in thoughts, but after a while, he kinda just wanted to switch the topic and think about something else. “How’s your new book going?”

“Alright. I switched the protagonist’s name again, I forgot to tell you when we spoke on the phone the other day.” Harry was now just directly talking to Liam about his books, because it would have been weird had Liam had somebody like Zayn do that for him now that Harry was a friend. It also made things more difficult because now Liam was afraid to give him suggestions if he wanted things changed. Then again, he knew that Harry had barely ever done what Zayn had told him to do either, so there was that. “I just got tired of writing that name, it was too long. But I won’t tell you now, I might change it again.”

“And the plot?” That was Liam’s main concern, but he trusted Harry, he was one of the people under his label who Liam could count on to always deliver. Even if sometimes he had to push a deadline or ten back.

“Is coming along quite nicely, I think. I’m still unsure about a couple things, maybe we could talk about that next week or something… “ Harry shrugged, and Liam felt like he wanted to say something else, but then he didn’t.

“… what?” The other man asked after some hesitation, somehow sensing that there was more but that Harry was holding back for whatever reason.

“Nothing.” Harry shrugged, but he didn’t at all look like it was nothing.

“Are you sure? If it’s about the book-“

“It’s not.” The other man told him quickly, but then he suddenly sighed, putting the knife down he had used to cut onions with so he could look at Liam. There was a lot of noise in the house and Liam was sure no one could have heard them from over the couch, that no one even cared what they were talking about in the first place, so it worried him when Harry suddenly lowered his voice. “I mean, it kinda is, but indirectly.”

“Okay… what is it? You can tell me, I don’t care if you switch the plot or just start something else, it’s-“

“It’s not that at all. I wanna write the book, I’m going to, it’s just… “ And then he sighed, seemingly frustrated before looking away from Liam and at the cooking water in one of the pots instead before he just said it. “I got a call the other day… from your father’s firm. I didn’t know he also has a publishing label. They, um… offered me kind of a big sum of money to quit my contract with your label and come write for them. The person I spoke to even thought they could get me on board by telling me they know a director who’d be interested to turn them into movies… little do they know.”

“Wait… _what?!_ ” Liam said it way too loud and they both immediately looked over to the couch in panic, but no one seemed to have even noticed. What the fuck? “Are you being serious right now?”

“Yeah. I declined, obviously. I just… I thought you should know. I kinda wasn’t sure if I should tell you, but… I know there are some tensions, so… and I’m not sure if they offered the same deal to somebody else.” Fucking amazing.

“Probably not, no one’s quit yet… but he used to do this all the time, with my normal employees.” Liam told Harry, clenching his jaw a bit as he started to cut the mushrooms a bit aggressively. “I think this was about you specifically. Because you’re Niall’s friend and- ah, _fuck!_ ”

“That’s a bad word!” Josie yelled from the couch, but Liam could barely hear her, he could just see red all over the mushrooms and his finger was burning.

“Shit, wait, here, hold that on there. Tight.” Harry had grabbed the kitchen towel to press is over Liam’s finger and it should have probably hurt, but Liam felt as if he was in shock or something, the adrenaline probably stopping him from feeling much at all. Except anger about his father. Again. “Don’t let go of the pressure. Do you think it’s deep?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t l-“

“What happened?!” Niall had come over immediately, having left the baby with the others, and now Liam felt bad again for making him worry.

“Nothing, babe, I’m okay.” Liam lied, faking a smile as Niall took in the scene. 

“This doesn’t look okay, Li. How deep is it? Do we need to go to the hospital? Did you cut off some skin?” He kept asking, taking it upon himself to put pressure on Liam’s wound.

“I don’t think so… it’s probably just a scratch or something.” Well, judging by all the blood…

“It doesn’t look like it. At all. C’mon.” Niall was making Liam go with him to the bathroom, and Liam could only throw one more look at Harry, who had volunteered to clean up the mess, claiming it was a whole lot easier for him to wipe up blood than James’ accidents.

“Can you close the door?” Niall asked his husband as they had entered the bathroom, and he had sat on the edge of the bathtub like Niall had ordered him to do. 

“What happened?” The younger man seemed panicked as he went through the cabinet to get disinfectant and band aids and whatnot, and Liam just let him although he was sure he wouldn’t need any of that.

“I wasn’t paying attention to the knife.” Liam explained, hesitating for a moment, but then he carried on. “And Harry told me something.”

“What?” Niall asked, clearly more focused on Liam’s finger as he made him hold it over the sink.

“That my dad tried to get him to work for his label instead and- ah, shit, what are you doing?!” NOW Liam felt the pain as Niall had removed the kitchen towel to put Liam’s finger under cold water and rinse the wound.

“Sorry, I just need to see how bad it is.” The younger man apologized immediately, but clearly, he was unfocused now. “Wait… did Harry agree to that?”

“No, of course not, but it’s like… I think he only offered that to Harry. So he somehow found out he’s a good friend of yours and… god damn it. I don’t know what he’s planning on doing, it’s freaking me out.” Liam wasn’t able to think clearly, usually he would have not told Niall these things so carelessly, but it was like… his finger was hurting and this had come as quite the shock.

“He’s trying to get to you in whatever way he can, Li. Harry declined the offer, that’s already sending a message. What more could your dad possibly do? He can’t go and just offer everyone a ton of money just to quit your label, it would ruin him financially, also- this is gonna hurt, I’m so sorry- now he knows he can’t get Harry on his side, and also not me by offering his help in the music business. And what would he offer Zayn? Zayn never wanted to work at a publishing company either way, and he knows all the stories about your dad. That only leaves Louis, and he’s a teacher. What’s he gonna offer him? To become headmaster? But for what in return? He’s clearly just trying to frighten you and to get us feeling uneasy.” Niall finished, having poured disinfectant over Liam’s wound before wrapping it up in bandaids. A bit too tightly, but otherwise very gently.

“He might try to get my other employees to work for him again… but he can’t just keep doing that, and even if he did, it wouldn’t ruin the firm or anything, it’s all just… super weird. I don’t know what his goal is, like, what’s he think is going to happen?” Seriously… it made no sense. He was just bitter and an asshole, those were the only explanations for this shit he was constantly pulling. “I wish he’d just fuck off.”

“He will eventually, once he realizes nothing works. I really believe he just wants to get on your nerves… how’s that feel?” Niall had finished and Liam moved his finger a bit to test it. It still hurt, but it was okay.

“Alright… thank you, baby.” He leaned forward a bit to kiss Niall on the cheek but then remained sitting down. “… what if he tries to do something worse because none of this is working?”

“Like what?” Niall asked as he sat next to Liam after having cleaned up all the stuff he had been using.

“I don’t know… he’s unpredictable. He might try to hurt someone, physically.” He had done it before, to his own child, what was stopping him now? “What if he breaks in here and-“

“Li, please don’t say these things. We’ve got a good alarm system, right?” Shit, now Liam was making Niall feel panicked, and he had been trying to avoid that at all costs, so he quickly wrapped his arm around his husband.

“Yes, of course, sorry, I… I was just thinking. He wouldn’t do that… you’re probably right. He tried to ruin my firm before, I think that’s just his main goal. After realizing that he can’t somehow lure you in.” With what, Liam had no idea, because Niall could have already had his music deal without his help.

“Hmm… “ Was all the younger man made, and then there was silence while Liam was absently rubbing his arm before Niall suddenly continued, carefully. “What if… what if he’s just really pissed you didn’t tell him you got married and that he has a granddaughter?”

“What do you mean? Why would I tell him those things?” Seriously? That man was a monster.

“I don’t know, Li, but maybe he thinks you should have… maybe he doesn’t see the past as bad as you. Maybe he thinks he was a good father.” Niall said it very slowly, and carefully, but it Liam upset either way.

“He could die thinking that for all I care.” Liam just said it like that, but once it was out, he didn’t feel like taking it back either. “I don’t think he thinks that at all anyways, I think he knows what he did, and he’d do it again. He just hates me, that’s all there is to it. And even if you were right, I would never let him near you or Hazel, or any of our friends. He’s a psychopath.”

“Okay… sorry, I was just- just considering the options.” Niall apologized immediately, leaning into Liam and making him want to storm out of the bathroom a little less now. His father suddenly regretting what he had done and wanting to be a grandfather? No fucking way. “I still think we should try not to give too much attention to what he does. He’s clearly running out of options.”

“I hope so… I’m just scared what else he might come up with.” Liam didn’t even want to imagine. He quickly turned his head to drop a kiss on top of Niall’s, squeezing him a bit more tightly. “Maybe he’ll just give up eventually.”

“Hmm… “ Was all Niall made, and they both knew they were thinking the same exact thing. There was no way he’s just give up and let it go, not after everything he had already done so far.

It was still a nice rest of the day, Harry took Liam aside again a while later to apologize even though Liam didn’t really know for what because he had wanted to know after all. He would have been way more pissed finding out on accident even if he would have known that Harry had long declined the offer anyways.

No one stayed for too long, Zayn a bit longer than everyone else, but then he had left too and Liam was now really glad that he had let Harry and Louis talk him into letting them do the dishes. Now they literally had nothing at all to do and they didn’t even have to cook dinner anymore either. Maybe they should have invited their friends over more often.

“Maybe we should invite your parents over as well.” Liam suggested when they were already upstairs, and Niall had put Hazel in her pajamas and was nursing her on the bed while Liam was walking around the room collecting dirty laundry. Laundry day had been like 3 days overdo by now but they had just never managed to get up and waste their free time for that.

“We could, but like… I’m not sure if I want to.” Niall was watching the baby, stroking her cheek while she was drinking. “They’ll never leave. And then they’ll expect to be invited on a regular basis.”

“We could… I mean, if you want that. I’m fine with it. They’ve not seen her in a while and we could just tell them that we have to be somewhere at a certain time or something so they’ll leave.” They had sent them pictures, and Niall had facetimed them once or twice to show them Hazel, but that was it. By now, Liam was almost starting to feel a bit bad for them because they were actually quite well behaved and not getting on Niall’s nerves at all lately like they had both been fearing.

“Yeah… I’ll think about that tomorrow, I’m too tired now… come lie down with me.” Niall begged, and Liam didn’t need to be told twice. Screw that laundry, they were usually wearing the same clothes anyways because they were home 99% of the time.

He did bring the now filled laundry basket back into the bathroom before getting into bed as well, putting an arm around Niall while he was still feeding their daughter. “Are your nipples still sore?”

“No, it’s okay… they just hurt because I used the pump too often.” Niall shrugged a bit, but he still looked relieved when Hazel had finally had enough to drink, letting out the cutest yawn that melted both their hearts. “What’s it taste like?”

“What? Your milk?” Liam asked, a little surprised that the question was only coming now. While they weren’t in the moment and having sex, it suddenly felt weird to him that he had tasted Niall’s milk a couple times now, but he could tell it was turning the other man on as well whenever they were in the moment, so… “Really sweet. It’s not bad, just… you know. If you… if you don’t want me to do that again-“

“No, no, I was just wondering and I never asked you about it, that’s all. It’s hot when you do it even though I feel kinda weird about it now that I just fed her.” Niall laughed softly, letting his head fall against Liam’s shoulder. “I kinda wanna try it.”

“You can, you’ve just pumped loads yesterday.” Too much, which was why his nipples had been hurting and Liam hadn’t been allowed to come anywhere near them last night, not even when they had just been cuddling in bed.

“Maybe tomorrow or something… how’s your finger?” Niall asked out of nowhere and Liam moved it a couple times, almost having forgotten about it. Josie and Clara had been a bit hysterical when they had realized what had happened, but luckily Harry had already cleaned up the blood by then and thrown away the pieces of food it had gotten over before Niall and Liam had come back to the living room.  
.   
“Good… it burned a bit in the shower, but it felt better after you changed the band aid.” Liam could have done it himself obviously, but Niall had insisted and of course Liam hadn’t minded it. Especially not because Niall had kissed his finger afterwards, and then his lips, and if the baby hadn’t started crying in that moment… he might have kissed other parts of Liam’s body as well. “I kinda thought I had cut off the edge or something, ‘cos there was so much blood.”

“I still think we should have gotten it checked out… it looked quite deep, but if you can still feel everything and move it… “ Niall shrugged a bit against Liam, and then he yawned an Liam almost joined, but he was holding back. “I need to pee.”

“I was going to ask to hold her anyways.” Liam told him quickly, maybe a bit eager.

Niall gently handed Hazel to Liam because she was clearly falling asleep in his arms, and Liam immediately felt put at ease like he always did whenever he had her close. The younger man walked off to the bathroom then while Liam was softly rocking his daughter in his arms for a bit, just watching her move a little, making a few noises, not being able to focus on anything except her cute face. 

She did look like the both of them, everyone told them and Liam could see it as well, and he was more than just happy with that. Like, Niall had always told him he wanted the baby to look like Liam, but the older man knew he was also thrilled that their daughter looked like him too. And even her eyes had stayed the same as Liam’s so far, so they were also stoked about that of course.

Hazel did move a bit and her face scrunched up once when Liam’s phone made a noise because it was low on battery, and he was very quick to rock her again, leaning down to kiss her forehead ever so gently.

“Shh, it’s okay, bug… go to sleep, I’m here… “ He whispered, breathing her in for a moment. She smelled like Niall a little bit, but obviously not in the same way, just like home and comfort and it activated Liam’s protective Alpha side even more than Niall’s scent did. It kinda had to be this way, because this was a little helpless baby, but Liam was still overwhelmed with it again each time.

Niall seemed to take ages in the bathroom, but it took a moment for Liam to realize he was long done and had just been standing there watching them with a smile on his face. He came over when their eyes met, but instead of getting back into bed, he grabbed his phone to take a picture of them. 

“I could watch you holding her for hours.” He told Liam afterwards when he was next to him again, leaning against his shoulder and Liam had felt his cheeks getting a bit hot as the younger man pressed his lips against his bare skin. “You’re both just the cutest.”

“She really is the cutest.” Liam agreed, ignoring the other part, and Niall laughed quietly, stretching so he could kiss Liam’s cheek as well. “I’ve honestly never seen a baby that cute.”

“I always wonder if it makes us look conceited to other people when they tell us she looks like us and then we say she’s the cutest baby ever. I mean, does it make people think that we think we’re that cute as well?” Niall chuckled quietly and Liam smiled, shrugging a bit.

“You are.” Liam told him, because it was true, and he just KNEW Niall was rolling his eyes without even looking at him.

“So are you. So maybe we are conceited. But it’s okay. It’s not our fault she looks like that. Also, James is quite cute as well but he just doesn’t come close to Hazel… “ Niall said it all like a fact, and Liam wanted to laugh but he didn’t wanna wake their daughter because she seemed to have finally fallen asleep.

They did this a lot, just watching her sleep while talking in whispers and then eventually they’d get so tired and exhausted that they put her into her crib and went to sleep as well. Usually it lasted a couple of seconds only before they were both out like a light as well. And then sometimes it only lasted a minute before they were awake again because Hazel had decided that it wasn’t bedtime just yet.

It was getting better though, and they had each other to get through this, so Liam was confident about the next couple months. So far, he felt like they were doing really well as parents, even if maybe not everyone thought the same.

\-------------

“I just don’t understand why they’re bringing the dog.” Niall could really not understand what was going through his parents’ minds most of the time, but this was really one of the things where he wanted to ask them to just explain it to him so he would get it. “They didn’t even ask if it was alright to do that.”

“I thought you liked dogs. Didn’t we wanna get a dog?” Liam asked, sounding very absent because he was busy playing with Hazel while she was on the floor on her little mattress, well excited to try and grab whatever the older man was dangling in front of her face.

“Yeah, but that’s completely different. My parents’ dog is just gonna be barking the whole time and scare her, if we had a dog it would behave.” Niall insisted, even though they both knew the real reason why he was upset.

Hazel was now 2 months old, and his parents had never seen her again in real life after they had visited him at the hospital. So of course Niall had been forced to invite them at some point, also because he had been starting to feel bad because they spent a lot of time with their friends and it’s not like he still felt exhausted 24/7. Liam was still doing Home Office, the firm was going well, Niall’s body seemed to kinda be going back to normal and yeah, they had sleepless nights, but it was all bearable and way worth it.

Nothing had ever happened again regarding Liam’s father, they had come to try and forget about it, telling themselves he had probably lost interest. What else would they have told themselves?

“Also-“

Niall was interrupted by the doorbell ringing unexpectedly, and he had to roll his eyes so hard that Liam was laughing at him. At least Hazel just looked very curious instead of scared, so that was something.

Niall’s parents needed a while to get from the gate to the front door, but Niall could already see them holding countless gift bags and his mother carrying the dog under one arm, and it was all just one moment of craziness to watch them. It would have been funny, had he had more than 1 hour of sleep last night.

“Oh my god, look at her! She’s adorable! Take a picture, Bobby.” Niall’s mother barely had any time to say hello, she had dropped the dog and the bags by the door at the sight of Hazel in Liam’s arms and Niall was afraid she might burst out into tears. “Hello, princess, I’m your granny. I brought you so many gifts, my love, I- can I hold her?”

“Sure.” Liam handed the baby to her immediately, sharing a look with Niall, who had picked up the dog because it had been trembling being in a stranger’s house and also because he had been afraid she’d bark and scare Hazel. It seemed to be the other way around.

Having his parents here was kind of crazy. It was mostly his mother who talked, and she refused to let anybody else hold Hazel again after she had gotten a hold of her, but she was doing well with her, so Niall calmed down after a while. His father had gotten to hold her once while Niall’s mother had gone to the bathroom and Niall felt bad for him, but what had he been supposed to do or say?

He just let them, allowing himself to be happy about the presents because he could tell the clothes and toys had been expensive and that his mother had put a lot of time and effort into them. If he was being honest with himself then this wasn’t half as bad as he would have thought, and he was also a little glad that their daughter would grow up with grandparents after all.

Still, he didn’t need this every week, two times a month seemed fair enough to him.

Liam stayed mostly by Niall’s side, kept touching him in some ways and kissing his head, rubbing his back and shoulders whenever his mother said something incredibly weird. It was comforting to have him there to get through these few hours.

Niall’s parents had only come for coffee and cake. Cake, which Liam had bought from some bakery, of course having gotten way too much so Niall could eat the leftovers and probably never get back to his body before the pregnancy. Lately, he had kinda stopped caring about it though, like, he felt like he looked alright, and he knew Liam loved him either way, so he had decided to take all of that slowly.

For multiple reasons.

His mother didn’t let go of the baby even while she was eating cake, talking nonstop and Niall had stopped listening after a while.

The cake Liam had bought was really good, so no one could blame Niall for eating a second slice of it, he deserved it after being awake almost the entire night, right? 

A couple minutes after finishing though, he already regretted it.

“You okay?” Liam asked quietly, of course having noticed immediately and Niall’s parents were busy taking pictures of Hazel anyways.

“Yeah, ‘m good… just need the bathroom for a moment.” Niall excused himself quickly, not really feeling that sick when he left, but definitely once he had reached the bathroom and closed the door behind himself.

He had some water from the tap, and for a second, it seemed to help. The next moment though, he had his head in the toilet puking out his guts. It didn’t take long until Liam had come to check on him, clearly surprised and a little panicked as he closed the door behind himself, rubbing Niall’s back, ignoring his weak attempts to get him to leave.

When Niall was done, he felt better, leaning against the bathtub and slowly drinking the water Liam had handed him, the older man next to him, rubbing his arm, brushing some hair out of his reddened face.

“You okay, love? Was it the cake?” Liam asked, worried, and Niall shrugged, closing his eyes as he leaned his head back against the bathtub.

He had known he couldn’t have kept it a secret for much longer, he just hadn’t thought they’d talk about this right here and now.

So Niall blinked up at the ceiling a few times, debating whether to say this or not, but then he kinda realized he didn’t have a choice anyways. And the pregnancy test he had hidden away in the cabinet wasn’t going to magically give him a result without him peeing on it.

“I think I’m pregnant again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise!!! 
> 
> actually i have to admit the reason this is happening is because i panicked and i wanted this chapter to not be boring but now i feel like it was a great idea either way :D so sorry i havent answered any comments yet (again) i will get to that now or in like 6 hours on the train when i already have to be awake again ha ha ha. 
> 
> hope you guys had a great weekend!! thank you for all the love and support after all this time <333


	28. Chapter 28

“What do you mean?“ Niall didn’t even need to see Liam’s face to know what it probably looked like, so he didn’t bother looking at him and instead closed his eyes because the light wasn’t that comfortable, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

“I mean exactly what I said.” The younger man told him, his voice feeling strained but he was trying his best to keep it somewhat normal. He knew how Liam would react if this was real. Which was maybe exactly why he hadn’t told him yet.

“But… but how- did you take a test, did you-“

“No, not yet.” Niall explained before he sighed, opening his eyes as he stared straight forward at the closed bathroom door. “I bought one, it’s in the cabinet.”

“Why?” Liam kept questioning and Niall kinda wanted to yell at him and he didn’t even really know what for.

“Because I think I’m pregnant, I literally just told you, Liam.” He half snapped, regretting it on an instant, which only frustrated him even more. “Sorry. I don’t know why I’m so worked up, I just threw up and- it’s just, I’ve kinda felt it for a couple days, maybe weeks, I don’t know. I don’t know how or when or why because I did go into heat that one time after, but… what does that really say?”

“Not much.” Liam agreed, they both knew that it wasn’t too weird to experience another heat as an Omega even if they were already impregnated, so like… there’s was really no guarantee for anything. “But we were using condoms the whole time.”

“We didn’t that one time.” Niall reminded him of their first time that they had had sex again after the birth, but that was kind of a long time ago now. Or so it felt like at least.

“Then I wouldn’t have been able to knot you anymore... well, maybe I would have. We’ve not had sex for a few days, I mean, not like that.” Now he was just speculating and it was driving Niall insane because there really was no need to say any of these things. “Maybe-“

“It doesn’t matter, does it? If I’m really pregnant then it already happened somehow, maybe we were using the condoms wrong, maybe it’s really from that one time we had sex without, maybe we forgot one time and can’t remember.” Not that unlikely either, sometimes they were caught in the moment and almost forgot. And as Liam had rightfully said, they hadn’t had sex for a few days and had just stuck to other stuff because they had both kinda been too exhausted lately.

So now here they were.

“I need to take the test.” Niall told him after a moment of silence, still not looking at Liam, kinda wondering for how long they’d be able to stay away before his parents would question their absence. Probably forever, Niall’s mother would just be happy she got to hold Hazel for so long.

“You could take it now.” Liam suggested immediately, which was why Niall really hadn’t wanted to tell him right now.

“It’s safer to take it in the morning.” He argued, which was true, especially because he couldn’t be THAT far along, right?! 

“Okay.” The older man agreed immediately, but Niall could hear the eagerness in his voice, and he just KNEW what result Liam was hoping for. “… you are going to take it though, right?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” Niall gave back without thinking before shrugging a bit as he moved to get up, the older man doing the same.

Niall washed out his mouth again and had a bit more water, looking at himself in the mirror to make sure he didn’t look as if he had just been throwing up. Their eyes met for just a second in the mirror, but Niall moved his head a second later, about to get out of the bathroom when Liam grabbed a hold of his arm, gently making him turn to face him.

“Hey… “ The older man mumbled, and Niall kinda had trouble looking at him and he didn’t even know why. Liam’s hand was slipping down his arm until he could intertwine their fingers and the younger man squeezed back weakly. “It’ll be okay, Nialler. Whatever happens.”

“Yeah… I know.” Niall tried to return his smile weakly, leaning in to kiss Liam but optioning for his cheek in the last second because he remembered that his breath was probably really bad. “I need to get some gum.”

“You’re fine, babe.” Liam assured him, not letting go of his hand just yet and Niall could tell he was worried, and probably also afraid of Niall’s reaction upon seeing the results of the test. It was weird, that they weren’t really talking about it, that this would now be hanging in the air for the rest of the day and night.

But what had Niall been supposed to do? He should have told Liam right when he had thought about it first and noticed those changes, but then he hadn’t and if he hadn’t told him now, the older man would have either figured it out himself, or he would have been worried that Niall had gotten sick. And Niall really didn’t know which one would have been worse.

They did let go of each other eventually to go back into the living room, and just as Niall had thought, no one had really noticed their absence. His father asked if everything was alright and Niall just told him yes, that he was just tired and exhausted, and his dad nodded, letting it go.

Niall’s parents seemed to stay for ages and ages. Liam did all the dishes and Niall would have offered his help, but he was a little bit afraid his mother would never give him back his baby if he let her out of his sight for too long. Also, he knew Liam would have just told him to go sit back down because he always did, but Niall would have somehow thought it was about him possibly being pregnant and his husband wanting to protect him already and he wasn’t sure how he would have reacted to that.

Probably not that great, considering he already felt worked up about it all.

\-----------------------

Liam felt weird the rest of the day because they never talked about it again. He wanted to bring it back up once they were alone and getting ready for bed, but he could sense that Niall really did not wanna talk about it, so he kept his mouth shut. On the inside, Liam wasn’t sure what to feel, if he should have been excited or not, and he decided that he should have probably just waited for Niall to really take that test before feeling anything at all.

Hazel went to sleep rather quickly for once, which was rare, but was definitely getting more frequent now, and they did use the time to snog and talk a bit in bed, but either Niall pretended to be asleep rather soon, or he really did fall asleep that quickly.

Liam wasn’t sure how to feel about that either, but he was trying his best not to worry too much and just try to sleep as well. And the younger man had snuggled up to him and was letting him hold him, so Liam was kind of hoping that Niall was just uncertain and a bit in shock rather than genuinely hoping that he wasn’t pregnant. Because secretly, Liam was hoping the opposite.

Somehow, Liam managed to fall asleep at some point. He woke up because Hazel was crying once, and he made sure to walk her up and down the hallway for a bit before she went back to sleep, so then his own sleep was rather light as well, which was why he was even more surprised when he woke up and could already see a bit of light behind the blinds.

It couldn’t have been too late, but Niall was gone and Liam thought he was probably in the other room feeding the baby, but Hazel was in her crib deep asleep when Liam checked, so then of course he was a bit worried. The clock read shortly after 5 in the morning as Liam went on a quick search for Niall, not really fully awake yet, or he might have already guessed where the younger man had gone.

“Babe?” Liam asked as he walked downstairs because Niall was nowhere to be found upstairs, and it took maybe another few seconds before he realized that Niall was in the downstairs bathroom. So that was when Liam suddenly felt VERY awake and he immediately knew what was going on. “Niall?”

There was no answer, and Liam just knocked weakly, not waiting for an answer before he opened the door, finding Niall sitting on the edge of the bathtub. Their eyes met very briefly before Liam’s flickered down to the pregnancy test in the other man’s hand.

“Did you… take it?” He asked slowly, because Niall wasn’t reacting, and the younger man just nodded, making Liam’s heart race. Now he felt afraid to ask. “… and?”

“I’ve not looked yet.” Niall told him, which only made Liam’s heart beat even faster. “I can’t.”

“How long did you wait?” Liam came to sit next to him, resisting the urge to rip the test out of Niall’s hands and look at it himself. He wanted to give Niall all the time he needed although he had to admit he was a little sad Niall hadn’t waited for him to wake up. Then again… he could sense how nerve wrecking this was for the younger man, and Niall had probably been unable to sleep through the night because of it.

“Fifteen minutes already…. I wanted to look. But then- then I didn’t.” His voice sounded very emotionless and he didn’t really react when Liam started to rub his back, moving his hand underneath the younger man’s shirt to caress his skin. “Is Hazel still sleeping?”

“Yeah, I just checked on her, she’s fine.” Liam assured him, his hand slowing to a stop. “Ni… we have to look at some point.”

“I know, just- give me a second.” Niall told him, so Liam did, tried to be patient, tried not to think about how scared he actually was about the younger man’s reaction.

Niall waited minutes, so long that Liam honestly thought he would just throw that test away without ever checking it, but then when he did say he was ready, the older man’s heart was immediately ready to jump out of his chest again. The younger man held the test up, and Liam heard him taking a really deep breath, his hand shaking right before he turned it over.

And their reactions to seeing the result couldn’t have been more different.

“Oh my god… “ Liam breathed, more excitement filling him than he would have ever thought was possible. It almost felt like when Niall had told him almost a year ago that he was pregnant the first time, but now Liam was actually there, in the very moment of them both finding out and… he felt so happy, he could barely believe it. “We- we’re gonna have another baby, Nialler.”

There was no answer, and Liam’s smile froze a bit when it slowly sunk in that Niall was not at all happy. When he looked at the younger man, Liam already had a feeling that Niall’s shock wouldn’t soon turn to happiness. But rather to tears.

“Ni-“

“Can we just not talk for a second?” Niall immediately shut him out, and Liam’s heart sunk as the younger man carelessly handed him the test without looking before he got up to walk over to the sink. 

He washed his face, once, and then twice, and as he was drying it, Liam already saw the tears forming in his eyes. They spilled over before Liam could have said anything at all.

“Ni, c’mon, let’s go sit down in the living room or-“

“No, I don’t wanna sit down and I have nothing to say right now. Can we just be quiet?” He snapped, shutting Liam up on an instant.

So that’s what they did, staying quiet while they were both dying inside and Niall was crying, also in silence. Liam kept looking down at the test in his hands, and then at his husband, who was refusing to look back at him.

Things had just gotten better with Hazel sleeping a bit longer and them getting adjusted to their new lives as parents, Liam’s father had left them alone so far and everything else was actually going well. So Liam knew why Niall was reacting this way, and he understood very well that for the younger man, this meant at least 8 more months of what he had literally just gone through while Liam had to do nothing at all.

“I can’t believe this happened twice.” Niall was the one to break the silence, and right before Liam could have replied, he just continued, more tears dropping down his cheeks as he leaned against the sink. “How can this happen to us, twice?! I don’t wanna do this again, not now, I don’t wanna- it was all going back to normal and now… now I have to go through all of this _again_. My body is never going to go back to how it was now, I’m gonna be all fat and unable to properly move again in a few months and I’ll be puking for weeks while I got a baby that I also need to constantly feed and pay attention to and- fuck. I can’t do this now, Liam. I really can’t.”

“Babe, I’m here, through everything, we’ll do this together, we-“

“No! You don’t get it. It’s not about that, it’s- I don’t WANT to be pregnant again. Not right now at least, I wanted to wait. You don’t know what it’s like, maybe some people have magical pregnancies, but I didn’t, and this one won’t be like that either. I just wanna- I just wanted to have a break.” And now Niall was crying so hard that Liam didn’t hesitate to get up and hug him, tightly, not caring if the younger man really wanted him to right now.

“I know, Nialler…. I’m sorry, I- I know nothing I say will make it better. And that I don’t know what’s like. I can just promise you I’m here and you don’t have to do this alone, there’s two of us and-“

And then Liam got interrupted by the baby crying from upstairs, in the worst possible moment. 

“F-Fuck!” Niall wiggled out of Liam’s arms, looking as if he was going to go upstairs to get the baby for a moment, but then he didn’t and just covered his face in his hands. “You have to go. I can’t do this right now.”

“Okay, but I-“

“Just go.” The younger man told him, and though Liam hesitated, he didn’t have a choice, he needed to check on their baby.

Liam’s head and his thoughts were all over the place as he went upstairs, quickly, flicking on the lights in Hazel’s room as he went to get her out of her crib. He was trying his best not to focus too much on what had just happened, or the fact that he knew Niall was downstairs crying over them having another baby.

For a moment, Liam wasn’t even sure anymore if they would really have another baby, if Niall would even wanna keep it. And who would Liam have been to tell him he had to? He had no right to do that, sure, it was THEIR baby, but it was Niall’s body.

“Shsh, I’m here, daddy’s here, you’re okay, baby girl… I know you’re hungry… “ Liam was trying to calm down his daughter as he walked her up and down the room, rocking her in his arms, well aware that he would have to bring her to Niall at some point so the younger man could feed her.

Right now didn’t seem to be the very best time though.

It was still calming Liam’s nerves to be holding his daughter, kissing her head a few times and she slowly stopped crying, staying more still in his arms but not going back to sleep. She was staring up at him instead and Liam decided to go and change her diaper, make use of the time that she was not crying and moving too much. 

As quickly as she had started to cry, as quickly had she calmed down and was keeping herself busy with a toy while Liam was changing her diapers, and then putting some lotion on her and changing her into different clothes because it was already morning anyways.

“See, now that’s a lot better, right?” He asked her once he was done, feeling better when the little girl was smiling up at him, making some noises right before knocking the toy off of the changing table. “Let’s go see how daddy is doing, I’m sure he wants to say good morning to you as well.”

Liam picked her back up, his stomach turning just a little as he walked downstairs with Hazel in his arms. Niall was still in the bathroom, he had closed the door, and Liam just KNEW that he had locked it, and there was nothing at all he could have done to change the situation. He also didn’t know what to say, so he only stopped briefly before walking into the kitchen instead.

Before the baby, he would have knocked on that door and begged Niall to talk to him, let him in and go through it all until he felt better, but now Liam couldn’t just put Hazel down and walk away, he had to take care of her first before attempting to talk this out with Niall.

And really, there was nothing much to talk out anyways, was there?

Niall always pumped some milk when he had time, so there was still enough in the fridge. Liam did have a bit of trouble heating it up with one arm, and he had to lie Hazel down in her little seat thing for a moment, but all in all, it worked out fine. Liam was quite hungry too, but he ignored it as he sat down with Hazel on the couch to feed her instead.

He really liked doing this, it was very peaceful to watch her drink, safe in his arms, happy and content to be getting fed. Whenever Liam stared at her and just let his mind wander, he was still amazed that he and Niall had a baby together, that things had turned out the way that they had, that they were responsible for this little girl now, for the rest of their lives.

Sometimes it still didn’t even feel real, because two years ago Liam would have never believed he would be here right now, feeding his daughter, married to his soulmate. He probably also wouldn’t have believed two days ago that Niall would be in the bathroom right now, trying to come to terms with the fact that he was pregnant again, for whatever reason.

Of course they knew no protection was 100% safe, and Niall might have actually gotten pregnant that one time they had had sex again after the baby, but it was still a shock to Liam if he thought about it. He was really excited, he had wanted another baby, but he had known Niall had wanted to wait at least a year or two, maybe longer. They weren’t that experienced yet and in like 9 months they’d have another baby, before Hazel would even be a year old, which was more than just crazy to think about. 

Well, of course provided Niall wanted to keep the baby, but just the thought of them not having it now was almost making Liam cry, so he tried not to think about that possibility. He put Hazel on her play mat for a bit after he had walked her up and down a couple of minutes after she had finished eating, sitting next to her on the floor to watch her, just making sure she was on her tummy for a while. 

He took a couple pictures, because he always did when he had the opportunity, all while hoping Niall would come join them, but he didn’t.

“Do you wanna help daddy make breakfast, hm? I bet you’re gonna be such a great helper one day.” Liam couldn’t wait for that, as he couldn’t wait for so many things and milestones to happen. He knew that people always said time was passing too fast with a baby and to treasure those moments while she was this little, and Liam was, but he was also really excited for her to learn how to crawl, and walk and talk and play and… just everything.

Watching her grow up was the most exciting thing to him.

Liam had to put Hazel down in her chair to make breakfast, but he put it next to him on the counter and gave her some things to play with in the meantime, talking to her the entire time while he was getting started in the kitchen so she wouldn’t start crying. But also because he liked doing that and he was hoping that if they talked a lot to her, she would have it easier learning to talk herself.

For a while, Liam was very busy like this, so much that he didn’t even notice Niall coming out of the bathroom. He flinched rather heavily when he felt the younger man’s arms wrapping around his stomach from behind, out of nowhere, Niall’s face pressed into his neck. Immediately, it caused a lot of pressure to fall off of him before either of them had even said a word.

“I’m sorry… “ Niall mumbled after a moment, squeezing Liam tighter as the older man held onto his wrist, slightly leaning back against him. 

“You don’t have to say sorry.” Liam told him immediately, because he really didn’t. It was just a relief to the older man that Niall seemed to have calmed down. 

Now he was glad he hadn’t gone to check on him, because he would have done that a few months back, would have gotten on Niall’s nerves and insisted on talking about it, but he knew the younger man well enough by now to know that sometimes, he needed to just be left alone. 

“But I am… for snapping at you and everything… it’s not your fault or anything… “ Liam wouldn’t say it was anyone’s FAULT, but he remained silent, stirring the pan with one hand and making sure to keep an eye on Hazel at the same time as listening to Niall talk somewhere into his bare skin. “I was just really shocked, I suspected it for days and somehow I didn’t think it would be real, but now… I do want another baby, I did for months, but I… I was just not expecting it, I guess? Because we were being careful and- and also because I needed a break. And now I won’t get one, and I know you’re here and that you’re already doing so much and I wouldn’t be able to do any of this myself and I really, really don’t take you for granted, Li… I’m just really scared of the pregnancy.”

“I know, love… I know I’ll never know what it’s like and I wish we could switch, but we can’t and all I can tell you is that I’ll try my best to make it as bearable as possible for you. I’ll always be here, okay? I don’t have to go back to the office, I can work from home and take care of Hazel when you need rest or a break. We’ve got friends who will help us, and your parents. We’re not alone, we can do this.” Liam tried to make him feel better, but judging by how tightly Niall was still holding onto him, it wasn’t doing much.

“I know… “ Niall whispered, barely audible for Liam, and there was a moment of silence before Liam decided to break it.

“You, um… “ Liam started, quietly clearing his throat as he used his free hand to give Hazel her toy back that she had dropped before she’d start crying, rocking her chair a bit. “You do want it… right?”

Niall didn’t answer immediately, and Liam felt slightly tense right before the younger man spoke up. “Yeah… ‘course. I wasn’t sure before, like, for a second or two, but… not keeping it isn’t an option for me.”

“Okay… “ The older man tried not to sound too relieved, but he still felt it. “Because if you didn’t wanna keep it, it’s your decision and-“

“No, it’s not. I wouldn’t decide that on my own, and anyways, I am going to keep it, don’t worry.” Niall reassured him, turning his head until his lips were grazing the back of the older man’s neck. “It’ll be difficult, but… I know I can do this, with you. Without you… I don’t know if I could.”

“You won’t ever find out.” Liam promised quickly, because he would never leave Niall to do this on his own, he’d give up the firm before that would happen. “And we don’t even know if it’s real, those tests are wrong sometimes.”

“It’s not wrong, I can feel it. I’m sure you’re gonna smell it soon as well.” Probably, maybe Liam already could and he just hadn’t registered it yet. All he could smell this morning was him almost burning the eggs a few moments later.

Niall let go of him to kiss his cheek before helping him finish breakfast and get out their plates and cutlery. He also went to hold Hazel for a bit, not putting her down after but just eating breakfast while having her in his arm. Liam knew that he felt guilty because of before, that he had sent Liam to take care of her, and he really wanted to tell Niall that it was okay, that he didn’t need to worry, but he knew how he would have felt the other way around, so he kept his mouth shut.

“It tastes really good, maybe you should always almost burn it.” Niall suggested after a few bites, and Liam couldn’t decide if he was being serious or not. “It’s very… crispy.”

“You don’t have to eat it, Nialler, we’ve also got tons of cereal left and-“

“No, no, I’m being serious, I like it like that.” Niall smiled at him, looking down at their daughter when she made a noise. “Did you feed her before?”

“Yeah, I did. Maybe she’s getting tired again… but she had a long night, I only got up once to put her back to sleep.” As far as Liam could remember at least.

“Really? I don’t even remember hearing her just once.” Now Niall sounded even more guilty, Liam should have really not said that. “I’m so tired lately, it’s insane.”

“You can go lie back down after breakfast and I’ll do everything else. Okay? You can sleep for as long as you need to.” Liam would have done anything at all to make sure Niall could rest, even if it would have killed him in the process.

“I know you’re tired too, Li, lately you’re always the one to get up when she cries.” That was very true, but mostly because Niall slept through it and Liam didn’t wanna say that, so he didn’t comment it. “Maybe we could call Zayn to watch her for just a bit.”

“I’m good, baby, don’t worry, okay? We can call Zayn, but I’ll manage. Let’s just finish eating and then you can lie back down.” There was no protest, which meant that Niall really, really needed to sleep.

After they had finished, Liam needed to talk Niall out of helping him do the dishes, and the younger man finally caved in, walking around the table to kiss Liam on the mouth while still holding their daughter. “I love you so much, it’s insane. I don’t know how you even deal with me, I’m so sorry I’m always so moody and-“

“Stop, Nialler. I love you too, more than anything, okay? I’d do anything for you and how many kids we’ll have, you know that, and you don’t have to keep thanking me and saying sorry. Just go and put her down and then go back to sleep. I’ll come upstairs after I’m done here, yeah?” Liam kissed him again, and he could tell Niall wanted to protest again, but he did give in in the end.

Liam tried to be quick, but by the time he went to check if the baby was sleeping and got his laptop to join Niall, the younger man had already fallen asleep again in their bed.

The older man made sure to tuck him in properly, dimming the blinds and just watching Niall for a moment before deciding to leave the room, close the door and go work in his office instead so he wouldn’t accidentally wake Niall.

It was hard to focus now, Liam had no idea where Niall had actually put the pregnancy test and he also had a hard time answering work emails and getting in the general headspace for it all. He took a few calls, hoping Hazel wouldn’t wake up during them, and when he thought surely an hour had passed, it had merely been 30 minutes.

No idea how Liam would ever again work like he used to, for days and nights. His priorities had shifted so much that he couldn’t even think back to how it had been before he had known Niall and had worked nonstop, because he had had nothing else in his life.

Now he could barely even focus on his writing because he was still so stuck thinking about them having a second baby so soon. He was so excited, but also worried, and combined with all of the sleep he was lacking, it was just… exhausting, to say the least.

“You should really sleep too.” Niall’s voice startled Liam quite a bit, and he shrugged, rubbing his eyes as the younger man came over from where he had been standing in the doorway, for god knows how long. Probably long enough to become witness of Liam fighting sleep for the past few minutes. “I think we should really call Zayn or someone to ask if they can watch her for a bit.”

“They’re all at work though...” Or something like that at least, Liam didn’t even know how late it was when Niall came to sat on his lap and he wrapped his arms around the younger man, leaning his forehead against the other man’s shoulder, momentarily closing his eyes. “I’m fine… why are you awake?”

“I have no idea.” Niall told him, sounding very honest. He kissed the top of Liam’s head, rubbing his palm along the older man’s arm. “I don’t even know for how long I slept… or if I even slept at all.”

“You did, but I have no idea how long.” Liam didn’t know anything at all anymore. “How are you feeling?”

“As usual. Tired, but okay.” The younger man shrugged a bit, loosely wrapping his arms around Liam’s neck when the older man leaned back once more. They looked at each other for a moment, and then it was Niall who said it. “We should make a doctor’s appointment.”

“Yeah… “ Liam agreed, relieved that Niall had brought it up because it was inevitable anyways. They’d have to make sure this was legit and then obviously get back to going to get ultrasounds regularly, and Niall would have to watch his diet again and while they were doing all of this, they would have to bring Hazel to her appointments as well. 

“Maybe now is a good time for me to re-learn driving before it’s too late again.” Sounded like a smart idea, and Liam nodded although he wasn’t sure how any of this would even work out. “… I feel like I’ve just ran a marathon.”

“Me too… “ The older man smiled weakly, motioning for Niall to lean in and kiss him so he wouldn’t have to move himself and the younger man laughed before he did it. 

At least the kiss was waking Liam up again, but the moment they had pulled apart and Niall got more comfortable in his lap, Liam was literally seconds from falling asleep, had maybe actually nodded off for a moment when they heard the baby cry, causing both of them to flinch.

“I’ll go this time.” Niall told him immediately, pressing a brief kiss to Liam’s forehead before he left the room, and the older man wouldn’t have been able to protest even if he had tried.

This wouldn’t be easy and they both knew it, but Liam was comforting himself with the thought that they had each other and that they would be rewarded with it all by having two children and living in a happy marriage.

Little did he know that day.

\------------------

“- and I literally have no idea how it happened.” Niall had given the doctor the short version of everything, he had already told the nurse on the phone, but now they were here a whole while later and he had felt a need to repeat himself.

Niall was already lying on the bed again in the doctor’s office and Liam was next to him on a chair while Hazel was sleeping in her carrier. Three weeks had passed since Niall had taken that test, and they hadn’t told anyone so far because they had wanted to make sure to confirm it, but had also wanted to wait long enough so they could make sure the doctor would actually be able to see something. And then of course, it hadn’t been easy to get an appointment on such short notice either and seeing as Niall had never gone into heat again and Liam’s knot wasn’t getting stuck anymore and he had commented on the younger man’s smell a couple times… they already knew anyways.

The crazy part was that Hazel was almost 3 months old by now, and James could already crawl since recently and Niall felt like time was escaping him.

It was almost like it had been years since Liam’s father had bothered them, or maybe just a really bad dream. Niall had a lot of those lately, provided he managed to fall asleep in the first place, of course. He was trying his best to keep it together and take care of the baby so Liam could work, and some days it worked out quite well, but a lot of days they were both so exhausted they could have fallen asleep standing up. No idea how other people did this, how Louis and Harry did it with THREE children.

Niall would have died.

“Well, as you know, no protection is 100% safe, which is why I recommended you go back on the pill. I know you were worried because you are still breastfeeding, but it is perfectly safe for you.” The doctor explained again while he was getting ready and putting on his gloves while Niall felt like a child being lectured. Not in a mean way or anything, he just felt really fucking stupid now. “Then again it is also possible to go into heat a couple more times even if you are already pregnant. Same goes for knotting. Every body is different, it’s hard to tell now when or why it happened exactly. But we’ll get a quick estimation of how far along you are in a second.”

“Yeah… it was a shock in the beginning but we are excited now.” And Niall still didn’t know how to feel about it, he knew Liam was over the moon, and he was looking forward to having more kids as well, just not to being pregnant again for so long and going through more sleepless nights right when Hazel would be sleeping more. 

“I can imagine.” The doctor smiled, and Niall could only guess what was going through his mind as he put the gel on his stomach after warning him like he had done so many times in the past now. “Let’s take a look here… “

Niall shared a look with Liam as the doctor silently took a look for a few minutes, reaching out for the older man’s hand. Liam offered a comforting smile as he intertwined their fingers and Niall was looking at him for a bit rather than at the monitor or his stomach. It had definitely gotten tighter again now that the birth was three months in the past, but that would soon change again anyways.

There was more silence than Niall would have thought, but right before he was about to get worried that something might be wrong, the doctor finally spoke up again. Then again, it was probably too soon to really say much… right?

“Alright… that right here is your baby.” He told them, pointing at something on the monitor, and honestly, it looked very different from the first time, which was maybe why the doctor suddenly turned to look at them. 

“Um… is everything alright with it?” Liam was the one who asked and Niall felt his heartbeat speeding up as he waited for an answer, almost crushing Liam’s fingers in his. 

“Yeah, everything is fine.” The man told them though something had clearly thrown him off track just now, but he got over it fairly quickly. He was the only one though. “As I said, that right here is your baby and… right next to it is your other baby.”

“I- sorry, what?” Niall asked, suddenly feeling as if he was in movie. Or on a prank show.

“You’re having twins.” The doctor told him straight out, and even then Niall could not believe it. His eyes were glued to the monitor, and YES, he could see two of the same things, but like… WHAT?! “I’d say you’re around 7 weeks, which I assume answers your questions about how exactly it happened.”

“I- I guess.” Niall brought out, not even really hearing himself. He must have really gotten pregnant the first time they had had sex again, or very shortly after, which meant they had been using protection for NO reason at all and also… “Are you sure it’s twins? Is it 100% legit if I’m only 7 weeks pregnant?”

“I am 100% certain, yes. You can see right here, this is the… “ And then he gave them explanations with lots of medical terms and Niall just zoned out, not knowing where to look or what to do or think.

Twins. They were having TWINS. Literal twins. TWO more babies, when he had literally just had one, that would still be a baby by the time the other two would be here.

And to think Niall had thought he would have to die if he ever had three kids in such short time spans as Harry and Louis. He had just beaten them, by FAR.

Niall only looked at Liam after quite a while, and it still hadn’t even sunk in by then. Niall’s shock was mirrored in his husband’s face, they were still holding hands but a lot more weakly now, probably because they both couldn’t really concentrate anymore.

This was… insane.

“Do you want me to print the pictures?” The doctor asked after a while, none of them having really said anything so Niall simply agreed. “I know this can be quite a shock, especially because you just had a baby.”

“Yeah, um, but we, uh, we’ve got support from friends and family, it’s just… we really didn’t expect that.” Niall tried to talk it better, tried not to let it show too much that he was freaking the fuck out right now while Liam didn’t really say anything at all.

They stayed a little bit longer discussing things with the doctor, but they were out a lot more quickly than expected, and none of them really talked until they were sitting in the car and Hazel was in the back again, still deep asleep. She was already a big sister to TWO other babies, at not even three months old.

Niall felt like he was losing his mind.

“Liam?” The younger man asked after they had just been sitting there, and Liam had made no attempts to even turn the key to start the engine.

“Yes?” Liam asked, his voice rather quiet though, and a little shaky if Niall would have had to put his finger on it. 

“Where are the kids gonna be sleeping?” A good question, there were enough rooms, but like… they’d have to redo a big part of the house and also… the house wasn’t THAT huge, it had been huge, for a single person to live there, but now… five people? Niall wasn’t so sure anymore. Even their cars… 

“We’re gonna have to figure that out.” Liam told him slowly, but he was maybe also telling himself a little bit. “We can do this, you know. We’ll be fine. It’ll be really stressful and we will probably almost die, but… it’ll be okay. Lots of people have another kid right after the first one.”

“But we’re having two other kids right after the first one.” Niall threw in and he kinda… he kinda wanted to scream, but he also felt a bit numb. Of course he was also excited about it all, he’d just never tell his kids about their real reactions of finding out about either of them. Especially not Hazel.

“Yeah, but it’ll be fine. We can do this.” The older man nodded to himself, and when Niall felt like saying that he honestly wasn’t sure, Liam already continued after turning his head to look at Niall. “I mean, it’s not like we have a choice anyways, we have to be here for these kids and… I wanna do this, even if it’s gonna be hard, it’ll pass.”

“I wanna have them too, and I am happy, just… still in shock. And a bit scared.” Niall shrugged, but he brought himself to smile when Liam reached out to stroke his cheek for a moment before cupping his face. “I’m sure our friends will help and… my mom would be too happy to help as well, so… “

“Yeah, see? Of course it won’t be easy, but also not undoable.” Liam already sounded like he had gotten over it and straight gone over to being happy and excited, and Niall wished he could have sounded and felt the same. He’d get there… eventually. “And-“

And Liam got interrupted by his phone going off, which of course made Hazel cry on an instant, and their calm, quiet moment was over in the flicker of a second. It was work related, so Niall told Liam to just pick up the phone and get out of the car to talk while he got in the back to try and calm down their daughter.

Hazel had just gotten a scare, so she calmed down rather quickly, but what Niall was more worried about was watching Liam walking up and down the parking lot while talking on the phone. It was getting colder outside, so Niall felt bad for him, but there was really not much he could have done. When he came back, it seemed that he was hesitating before actually sitting back down in the front, pulling the car door closed behind himself.

“What happened?” Niall was still in the back, deciding to just stay there in case Hazel would wake up again.

“Umm… “ Liam made, which already wasn’t a good start. “We have a problem. I mean, not WE, _I_ have a problem.”

“So we have a problem.” Niall concluded from that, because obviously it was his problem as well. “What is it, Li? Did anything happen at work?”

“I mean… yeah? Kind of.” He sounded quite weird, but luckily Niall didn’t have to ask another time. “Remember that guy that was always super motivated and you hated him because you thought he had a crush on me or- well, anyways, he kinda just… quit? Which… which means the firm is without a real lead because I’m not there either, and neither are you and… and I don’t really know what to do.”

“Why would he quit? He loved that job. Did he really have a crush on you and he can’t stand that you got married to me or-“

“He works for my dad now.” Oh. “Which is problem number two… apparently my dad convinced a few other people to quit as well. I’m kinda… kinda afraid to check my emails right now.”

“I… I don’t know what to say, Li, I’m sorry, I- why are you so calm?” Seriously, none of this felt real anymore, Niall hadn’t slept in almost 24 hours, he was having twins and now this… it all felt like a bad dream.

“I’m not calm, I’m just afraid I’ll wake the baby again.” Liam explained, so then that was enough for Niall to get out of the car, walk around it and get back into the passenger seat. Liam really did NOT look calm, at all. “I mean, there’s nothing we can do, if he doesn’t wanna work there anymore, he can leave, so can anybody else and-“

“No, he can’t. He has to give you a two weeks notice. Also, your dad can’t pay all these people properly, he’ll probably kick them out again really quickly, he doesn’t need or care about them, he just wants to hurt you. Let’s go to the firm.” Niall decided, because he had HAD it.

“Now?” Liam asked, looking very confused as Niall nodded.

“We’re gonna have a chat with this traitor and everyone else who thinks of quitting and you’re gonna give them one more chance to change their minds. And if that doesn’t help then maybe it’s time to actually publish your books under your name so that they can put two and two together. This is crazy, Liam, we can’t just let this happen. He’s gonna ruin your firm if he starts getting your writers to write for him next. He already tried with Harry.” And if Liam’s firm got ruined then Niall really wouldn’t know anymore what to do. It wasn’t about the money, it was the fact that he knew Liam would fall into a really big hole and Niall would have no idea how to get him out again. “Let’s go.”

“We can’t-“

“Liam, please just do this. This is one thing we have control over. We have a sleeping baby in the back and two more on the way, we can’t control that, but I am literally running on like half an hour of sleep and I am so done with your dad I’m afraid I might go to his firm and kill him myself. So please just drive.” At least that did the trick then.

Niall hadn’t been to the firm in what felt like ages, everyone was really shocked to see them, and mostly to see their daughter, but people were actually happy and excited and Niall would have really not expected that in any way at all.

Though upon entering, the problems already started to pile up once Liam talked to one of the people working down at the reception, who told him that his father had literally been at the firm this morning to meet with a few people he had sent emails to regarding job offers and that they had tried calling Liam but he hadn’t answered the phone. Plus, they had also not known that Liam didn’t talk to his father anymore since years and they had mostly just been confused that he had randomly shown up, told them he was Liam’s father and thus was allowed to come and go as he pleased. And since they had known him because he also had a publishing label, they had just let him.

The only good part was though that only three people, including that one guy, had decided to take up the offer, and they were all still here so Liam could call an emergency meeting with them while Niall was just sitting next to him, rocking their baby in his arms and trying not to fall asleep.

This was serious.

“Okay, I assume we all know why we’re here.” Liam started, sounding quite uncertain of what to say and Niall wanted to already jump in but he kept it together. HE didn’t know why they had to be here right now, why any of this was happening. “Obviously I cannot stop any of you from quitting and-“

“Then why do we have to be here?” One of them asked, of course the one Niall hated the most, because the other two seemed quite embarrassed, honestly. “We know about the two week policy, we’re gonna stay until it’s over and then we’re leaving. What more is there to say?”

“I don’t know what my father has told you, but he had no right to come in here and start to interview people for jobs at his own firm. If I had been here-“

“But you weren’t. You’re never here because of your daughter and your husband, half the time you don’t answer the phone. I tried calling you six times the other day, it was really important.” The man continued and Niall glared at him, biting his tongue.

“I’m really sorry about that and I apologized multiple times already.” Liam repeated himself and it was true, Niall had become witness of that a couple days ago of course. He had almost jumped through the phone. “I know it’s been a difficult time, but my family is my priority and I am doing everything I can to keep this place running from home.”

“Well, it’s not enough.” The man concluded while the other two still looked like they wanted to just disappear, neither of them having said a word.

There was a moment of silence, Liam seemed to be at a loss of words and Niall had finally had it with all of these people. He needed to pee, he was hungry, he was tired as HELL, and he just wanted to go home. Plus, he was sure Hazel would wake up any second if they kept starting to get louder, so it was really just a matter of time before this meeting would be over anyways.

Since Liam didn’t say anything else, Niall simply took it up himself, much to everyone’s surprise.

“Alright, listen. I don’t give a crap about how you think my husband should be running this place-“

“He-“

“ _Zip_ it. I’m not done.” Niall cut the man off immediately and to his surprise, he actually closed his mouth. Well, good, for once Niall’s hormones going crazy was useful. “This place has been successful WAY before you or I came here, so your advice is not only not needed but also embarrassing. If you wanna go off and work for Geoff Payne then go and do it, because SURELY it’s a great idea to quit your well paying job to go work for a competitor who has to send out emails to try and steal employees from his son’s firm. Clearly that is super normal, right? And his firm must also be running amazingly. Looks like people are lining up to work there, no idea why he just so happens to have so many open spots to fill with you guys.”

“The pay is a lot better.” The man threw in, but he actually looked down under Niall’s glare.

“Can I ask you a question?” Niall asked straight out, rocking the baby with one arm as he felt her move, and the man simply nodded briefly. “Have you ever heard of using your own brain cells before doing and saying shit like you just did?”

No one had expected Niall to talk like that, and he hadn’t expected it himself, but he was still not done, not allowing anyone else to interrupt him.

“If you think this is a great idea then leave, it’s whatever, you know? Liam’s getting applications every day, you can be replaced just like that. And that’s not to say you did a bad job here, not at all. But if you want to leave then this firm will keep on going and being successful, without you. Don’t come crawling back when Geoff Payne fires you after a month because he was just trying to get back at his son.” For god knows what.

“He said it’s just friendly competition.” One of the others who had quit threw in quietly and Niall laughed, he just couldn’t hold it anymore.

“And you believed that? How many other times have you randomly been sent an email from the CEO of a semi successful publishing label asking you to come work for them specifically? And how many of those CEO’s have been so desperate they have come to your work place to convince you? This is clearly a private family issues, so I won’t comment on it. On Liam’s behalf I will just say this once, if you get up right now and go back to your offices then your letters of resignation will simply be deleted and there will be no consequences. If there are any issues my husband will be happy to work them out with you, also regarding payment. If you decide to quit and you leave then this is goodbye for good.” Niall finished, silence following.

The other two employees looked at each other for a moment and then they both got up, mumbling something about how cute Hazel was and that they would be happy if Liam could forget about this, that they wouldn’t quit after all before they walked out of the meeting room quickly. The now not so motivated man remained seated, clearly thinking about it.

“You know, I always thought you were smarter. I thought you were as good as the person before you because you got such big responsibilities here, but now I’m not sure anymore.” Niall told him, referring to Zayn, and he actually truly meant it. 

“You don’t have the right to tell me that.” He gave back, and Liam was quick to shut him down.

“He has. We all know you’re doing an amazing job, this is not what this is about. If you want to leave, you can, I’d be happy if you decided to stay. I am now saying this as someone who appreciates everything you have done while I was gone, and not as your boss.” Liam’s voice was a lot softer than Niall’s before, who still had to hold back so he wouldn’t snap again. “I’m afraid if you go work for my father not only will your talent go to waste, but he will fire you shortly after because sadly, this is not about any of you, it’s an issue between me and him. But it’s your decision.”

The man seemed to still be thinking about it, his attitude seemed to have worn off, and at one point, Niall just had enough and he sighed. “Just get back to your office and let’s forget about this entire thing.”

There was more silence, but then he nodded, leaving the room as well to leave the three of them alone. Fucking finally.

“I love you so much, do you know that?” Was the first thing Liam said, and Niall smiled weakly as he looked at him, feeling warmer underneath the older man’s adoring stare. “They would have all quit if I had talked.”

“They wouldn’t have, Li. But I couldn’t have done this if I didn’t have to pee since 2 hours and if I weren’t starving and the doctor hadn’t just told us we’re having 2 more kids. I love you too.” Niall kissed Liam before getting up to put Hazel back into her carrier. “Let’s just go home, please. And order food and just… not think about anything else tonight or I might go insane.”

“Sounds like a plan, babe.” Liam agreed immediately, and they should have probably stayed and talked to the other employees, but Niall was hoping that those three would spread the word of what had happened so that they would have no more issues with that in the near future.

And if everything went wrong, tomorrow was another day, Niall just needed this one to end already. But he still didn’t complain when their journey home got delayed one more time because Liam very unexpectedly cupped Niall’s face into his hands once the younger man had put down their daughter, kissing him way too eagerly and inappropriately considering where they were, with an unlocked door.

Almost like old times.

\----------------------------

Liam tried to forget what had happened, tried to not let it phase him, but it was near impossible, even though they had MUCH bigger problems at hand. Of course Liam was stoked that they were going to have _twins_ , but he was so worried about Niall and how everything would turn out that it was eating him alive.

So obviously he could focus even less on work the following week, also because he was somehow anxious about every single call, thinking it was bad news again, somebody announcing his father had won the lottery and bought the building Liam’s firm was in or something. Who even knew anymore?!

It got to a point where Liam was so anxious working from home because he was taking the feedback about him not running the place properly to heart, that he did end up going to the office a couple days later. But only after Niall had near forced him to go and promised he would call immediately if anything was wrong. 

Liam doubted he would, so they had finally given up on their pride and asked Harry if he would watch Hazel for just a few hours. Louis was at work, the girls were at school and James was 8 months old so Harry had agreed immediately, he had even seemed kinda happy over it. Which did ease Liam’s worries and his guilt a little bit, but not completely.

He was just hoping Niall was using his time alone to sleep.

“… now I finally know how you always felt when you were still working here.” Liam was sitting in his now almost unfamiliar office, having called Zayn because he had needed to just talk to someone who knew what this was like. “And I’m surprised you stayed for so long.”

“It was different, I never had to take the heat because I was just another employee and no one’s boss. They probably trusted me more.” Zayn explained calmly and Liam suppressed a sigh, rubbing his free hand over his face. “You’ll be fine, Liam. Screw your dad, he can’t do anything.”

“I’m not so sure about that… “ Nothing would have surprised Liam anymore. 

They hadn’t told their friends that Niall was expecting twins though Liam knew they should have done it before everyone would comment on Niall’s scent like before. Then again, because he had just had Hazel, it wouldn’t show as much, so they had agreed to wait a little longer, just for the purpose of making sure that they really were expecting twins.

Not that there was any doubt.

“He didn’t manage to get just one of these people to quit, what more can he do, seriously? He’s just bitter.” Maybe, but somehow Liam had a really bad feeling about all of this. 

“I hope you’re right… I should probably get back to work, I wanna get home as soon as possible.” They ended the call after a couple more minutes, but then someone came in and things happened and Liam ended up staying way longer than planned.

He did leave the office as one of the first people, texting Niall before he started the car but hoping he wouldn’t get an answer and that the younger man was just sleeping.

Harry had told Liam he didn’t mind having Hazel a bit longer and that he would just drop her off once Louis was home, so Liam went straight home. He was tired, he was hungry, and he had missed both Niall and Hazel so much that it hurt. 

He wasn’t used to being away from his family anymore, and he never wanted to get used to it again.

Liam was smart enough not to yell out once he got home, he just went upstairs as quietly as possible, not being able to wait those few more seconds to see Niall, hopefully still asleep.

The bedroom was empty though, so Liam checked Hazel’s room, and then the bathroom, and then finally downstairs and even the gym, the feeling in his stomach growing more uncomfortable as the seconds passed.

“Niall?” Liam called out in the end, panic arising in him, and he was just taking out his phone to call the younger man when he suddenly realized that he hadn’t seen Niall’s car in the garage either upon coming home and it made him freeze, several awful scenarios filling his mind immediately.

Liam wasn’t sure which option gave him the most chills as the call went straight to voicemail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello :D
> 
> this story is slowly coming to a close, but i cant really say anything now without spoiling anything haha :p i hope it was a surprise that they are having twins, it surely was for me when i came up for it haha! two more chances to give name suggestions haha! strangely enough my life is about to become less stressful with uni starting soon and my internship finally being over in two weeks, so im looking forward to that!
> 
> thank you for your continued support and all the lovely words!!! i feel like really writing something easy and light after this fic is over haha, maybe a oneshot (that wont be a oneshot, more like a twelve shot :p). have a great week!! <33


	29. Chapter 29

“Hi, um-“

“She’s fine, she’s sleeping, actually. Do you need a proof picture?” Harry had picked up the phone a lot more quickly than Liam would have thought, not even having gotten to finish a single sentence first. For a second, he felt thrown off track, but the panic inside of him helped a lot with that.

“Do you know where Niall is?” Liam asked without answering anything the other man had just said. At least Hazel was somewhere safe, with somebody who knew how to take care of her and they had given Harry enough pumped milk for her as well, so that was one less thing Liam had to worry about.

To be fair though, there wasn’t much space inside his head left to worry about anything else besides his husband’s whereabouts anyways.

“Isn’t he at home?” Harry sounded confused, and Liam heard a sound in the background, assuming it was probably James playing. Or maybe Hazel. But whatever was going on there, there was probably not a more competent person to take care of her than Harry, not even Niall and Liam themselves.

“I just got home and he’s not here. And he took his car.” Liam added the last part quickly, because everyone would know that that was a bad sign.

“But he can’t even properly drive, can he?” Now at least Liam wasn’t the only one panicked anymore.

“We practiced, he was doing alright, but- he never drove on his own so far and… and I also got no idea where he even went. His phone is turned off as well.” And Liam was about to call the police even though he knew they wouldn’t have been able to help him anyways.

“And he didn’t leave you a note or anything?” The other man kept pushing, frustrating Liam even more.

“No, I looked everywhere, he’s just gone. I thought maybe he went to pick Hazel up by himself, but… the car seat is in my car anyways, he wouldn’t have even been able to take her. Fuck.” Liam rubbed over his face in frustration, keeping his eyes out of the window and on the street afterwards, as if Niall would come home any second. “Louis is at work?”

“Yeah, he doesn’t finish for another few hours, he can’t know anything about Niall, he’s got his phone on silent when he’s teaching. What about Zayn?” There really was no one left anyways, Liam would have to realize that there was nothing he could have done. 

“I just spoke to him on the phone before driving home, so… no.” Also, it would have made no sense for Niall to randomly go and meet up with any of them without even telling Liam, or like, sending him a quick text. He always did that. “I could call his parents, but… I don’t think that’s a good idea. Why’d he go there? If he did he would have just left a note or told them to text me or something because his phone is out of battery.”

“Maybe it was an emergency. Not with him, with one of his parents.” Harry added the last part very quickly, probably afraid that Liam would have lost his mind otherwise. He was damn near close to it anyways though, so whatever.

“Maybe, yeah… I hope not, but who knows? I mean… I can’t do anything if it really is an emergency.” Maybe Harry was right, because Liam couldn’t imagine another scenario where Niall would just get up and leave, without saying a word, AND taking his car as well. It just made no sense at all.

“Look, the fact that he took the car is a good sign, it means he actually meant to go somewhere. Maybe he just wanted to go pick something up from a store or do whatever because he’s finally got some free time and he didn’t think you’d be home so soon. Plus, his phone’s out of battery, he couldn’t have told you even if he had wanted to. I’m sure he’ll come home soon.” Was he really? “I know it’s frustrating, but it happens. He’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, it’s just… it feels weird.” Liam meant weird in a sense that because of their bond, he kinda felt like something was going on. But he didn’t know what and he knew Harry couldn’t have helped him with that because he was probably starting to get annoyed, but Liam couldn’t shut himself up. “Do you sometimes feel it whenever Louis is not doing well? Like… because of your bond?”

“’course, always. Not that he always feels bad, but I can sense it, yeah. But trust me, if something really bad had happened, you’d feel that as well. And Niall’s probably lacking sleep and is stressed out, so I’m not surprised if he’s not feeling great.” Oh, if Harry had only known about the news… 

“I don’t know what I’m feeling… I just don’t know why he took the car.” Well, otherwise he would have not been able to leave, and Liam got that of course, and it was completely normal that Niall wanted to go places, he just hadn’t been able to before without a car. Liam was just surprised he’d take it out of nowhere.

“He’ll be fine.” Harry reassured him one more time, and then they talked about Hazel for a second and Liam asked if he should come pick her up, but the other man told him to just take some time for himself.

Little did he know Liam didn’t even WANT time for himself, because sitting at home all by himself… he honestly didn’t know what to do. Not that he couldn’t be alone anymore, it’s just that he was so worried sick that he couldn’t have concentrated on anything.

He couldn’t think of a single place Niall would have randomly gone to without telling him, AND turning off his phone or letting it run out of battery, it was like… it made no sense at all.

There was no one Liam could have called to ask if Niall was with them or not, there was no one left and- unless, of course… but Liam didn’t even wanna finish that thought.

Now he felt even more panicked if that was even possible, and there was nothing at all he could have done to change that, no place he could have even gone to in order to look, and every scenario he came up with inside of his head, each one was worse than the last one.

\-----------------

Niall was honestly so impressed with himself that he had one, found the way, two, had no crashed the car into anybody or anything, and three, managed to park the car like a normal person. Or something close at least, but the parking lot was so big that it didn’t seem to matter. He did feel kinda confident about driving by now, because he had practiced a lot with Liam lately. But it had been easy roads because they had had the baby in the back so obviously Niall had gone very slow the entire time.

He had done the same today of course, because he wasn’t stupid… although, looking out of the window and at the building in front of him, he wasn’t sure anymore whether he should have done this or not. Then again, he really had not had that much of a choice, sooner or later, he would have had to do it because he knew Liam wouldn’t have, ever. And he had felt he had needed to use that opportunity today, it had felt like a now or never situation of some kind. 

Niall felt absolutely terrible as he got out of the car, sending a prayer in his mind that Liam wouldn’t be home before him to notice that he had left without saying a word. He couldn’t have though, he had forgotten to charge his phone over night and it had run out of battery literally the moment he had arrived and had thought about just telling his husband he would be home soon.

So now that Niall was already here… he might have as well gotten it over with, and tried to solve this issue before it would escalate yet again. 

The building was slightly smaller than Liam’s firm, Niall eyed the huge logo and the expensive cars parked right by the entrance. He had driven quite a while, of course also because he was a slow driver, but furthermore because he was almost in the middle of nowhere. Or so it looked like, at least.

The entrance hall was kinda fancy, but Niall decided not to take any notice of that, he sucked in a breath, telling himself that this was no big deal, that it was for the best and that he had to do this if they ever wanted to solve this issue.

“Can I help you?” The woman at the reception looked rather bored, and a bit as if she had been hoping Niall would walk right out again.

“Yeah, actually.” Niall walked over to her, not believing that these words were about to leave his damn mouth. He would have never thought it would come so far, but here he was, doing this behind his husband’s back, and even if he was doing it FOR him, Niall felt like a terrible person. “I’m here to see Geoff Payne.”

“Are you sure?” She asked before she sighed, leaning forward to click on some things on her computer. “He’s got no meetings scheduled with anyone. What’s your name?”

“Niall.” He started before he hesitated, and the woman looked at him, clearly annoyed that he was taking so long to tell her his last name. “Payne.”

It took a moment for her to let it sink in, and she narrowed her eyebrows as she looked him up and down. “Wait… you’re not his son, are you? Because he told me if his son ever comes her I shouldn’t just let him up even if he tells me he’s allowed to go up.”

“I’m not his son.” Niall told her, clenching his jaw upon having just heard what he had. 

“So you just happen to have the same last name?” Was she mocking him now?

“Can you just let him know? I’m sure he will tell you to let me go to his office.” If he didn’t, that’d be more than weird, because he must have been hoping that Niall would go behind Liam’s back. And now he was.

The woman didn’t seem like she really wanted to do anything at all that Niall had to say, but she gave in eventually, picking up her phone, her face visibly going a bit paler. “Yes, this is- no, no, I- I’m very sorry for disturbing you. There is just this man down here and he said he wants to come to your off- no, there is no meeting scheduled, I told him that and- umm, Niall Payne or something? I’m sorry, if- oh. Of course, yes. No problem.”

And then she had hung up the phone immediately, her facial expression even weirder as she stared Niall up and down, _again_.

“You can go to his office. You have to take this badge and put it on, so the employees will know you’re a visitor. It’s on the third floor, first right, then left, then at the end of the corridor.” She explained while Niall hadn’t even heard the first part, and she might have sensed that because she continued after a moment of hesitation. “Actually, there are signs, you’ll find it somehow.”

“Okay, thanks.” Niall was really nervous as he put the badge on, but he was trying his very hardest not to let it show as he was about to leave.

“Wait.” The woman suddenly looked a bit nervous as she stopped him. “Are you really not his son? Because-“

“I’m his son in law.” Niall told her, because who even cared anymore at this point? Everybody knew they were married anyways and he could barely think straight. “What, um… what’s he like?”

“Umm… “ Right, that was never a good sign, for an employee to hesitate that much, as if she was trying to figure out if she’d get fired for speaking up right now. Niall did know Liam’s father already of course, but he had met him so briefly at the recording studio that he really had no idea what to think about him. He only knew what he had done to Liam as a child, what he was still doing. But if he only focused on that he’d never be brave enough to face him. “You’ve never met him? If he’s your husband’s father?”

“I think I should go.” Niall decided promptly, not wanting to answer this, so he quickly turned on the spot to walk towards the elevator.

“He’s been in a bad mood lately.” The woman called after Niall, and he just gave her a sign with his hand before he walked around the corner.

He could very well imagine why he had been in a bad mood.

It was a really weird office, quiet, and everyone looked super posh. Some people glanced at Niall’s badge, but most of them simply ignored him, for which he was really happy. He didn’t find the way immediately, he was just kinda walking around aimlessly once he had reached the right floor that consisted of closed office doors and empty hallways.

When he did find himself standing in front of the right door, Niall’s heart stopped and his palms were starting to feel sweaty. He knew he couldn’t let his nervousness show though, he needed to be strong right now and just get this over with and hopefully save them a lot of trouble in the future.

It’s just… Niall was so bloody scared and he felt so bad that he hadn’t told Liam what he was about to do. He couldn’t even let him know he had driven somewhere else because his damn phone and- no. Niall just needed to get it the fuck together and stop trying to worry about things he couldn’t change.

He knocked sharply on the door, as if he was really confident about it all, but when he heard the voice inside telling him to come inside, all of his courage had already left him again.

Niall’s hand was shaking as he opened the door, but he felt as if he didn’t look the part, so that was something… right?

He couldn’t take in the office because his eyes immediately got stuck on Liam’s father sitting behind his desk, maybe looking equally surprised to see Niall here as Niall felt to see him in a somewhat good mood. No idea what he had been expecting, but he wouldn’t have been surprised being shot on sight to be honest.

“Good morning. I hope I’m not disturbing you?” It wasn’t really morning anymore, but whatever, Niall had no idea what else to say and he doubted that it even mattered.

“Not at all. Come in and take a seat. What a surprise to see you.” There was a smile on his face and it gave Niall chills as he closed the door, his body feeling stiff as he walked across the room to take a seat on the chair, opposite Liam’s father, the desk between them. “What brings you here? How did you find the way here?”

“Google.” Niall told him straight out, shrugging a bit. No need to tell him for how long he had had to plan out how to get here with a car. “I was hoping that… we could talk. About some things.”

“Certainly, yes.” He seemed very enthusiastic, closing his laptop immediately as he folded his hands in front of himself on the desk. “Liam did not want to join you?”

“He’s at work.” Niall explained, or at least he was HOPING he was at work. 

“So he doesn’t know you’re here.” Geoff nodded and Niall wanted to deny it, but then he stayed quiet. “And your baby?”

“She’s with a friend.” A friend Liam’s father had only just recently tried to get to work for him, but Niall did not want to get into that right now. “Some things happened, and I feel like we should talk about them.”

“Be my guest, I’d be more than happy to talk. It’s not about that music deal, is it? I got the impression you suddenly decided you didn’t want to pursue that career any longer.” He leaned back in his chair, not even sounding as if he was mocking Niall, but it still felt like it somehow.

“I’m really busy now, maybe in the future I’ll change my mind. And if it doesn’t happen anymore then I’m good. It’s a hobby.” No idea how Niall would have done this had he signed the contract and found out he was having twins, so maybe it had really been for the best. Like, he could have not stayed there anyways because of Liam’s father, so there was that. It only made him feel worse now, that he had backed out of that deal because of him, but now he had willingly driven here to talk to him. “I wanted to talk about something else… you were in Liam’s firm.”

“Business related. A few of his employees have caught my eye, they expressed interest in working for me via email, I was there to talk about it in person. I would have paid Liam a visit, but I was told he’s taking some time off to spend with his family.” He said it all with no shame, and the way he was staying so calm and everything… it made it hard for Niall to be angry as well. “They’ve decided to stay after all. So what else is there to talk about?”

“Everything. Why you’re trying to get Liam’s employees to work for you. The box you sent. The note. The text message.” Niall didn’t really know where to start, not even really knowing what he wanted an answer to, he just needed something, and he had no idea how to get there. “Harry Styles is one of my best friends, he told me you messaged him as well.”

“Just because Liam is my son does not mean there is no competition, you know. And as you know well enough, me and him don’t speak anymore, so he’s nothing more than another competitor in the same field. A few of my employees have quit lately because they got offered jobs somewhere else, and your friend Mr. Styles is an excellent author. I heard he was offered a contract from a director as well. Anyone in their right mind would try to get somebody like him on board with them, it had nothing to do with Liam at all.” Great, now what was Niall going to say?

“But the timing-“

“What timing?” He asked, looking genuinely confused. Was he some kinda psychopath trying to get into Niall’s head? “You mean because you and I met before you had the baby? Or the box I sent? I’ve had Liam’s old things for years and years, I thought maybe he’d want them now that he has his own child. As a baby he’d wear hand me downs as well, it’s easier because kids grow so quickly anyways. As you probably know.”

“I just… “ Niall was fighting for words, because all of this sounded so LOGICAL all of a sudden, he had to remind himself this was the man who had closed the car door on Liam’s finger, on purpose. “What happened? Between you and Liam?”

“A lot, I don’t know if I can sum this up right now. I would assume he has told you enough already.” He cocked one eyebrow and Niall just nodded, looking past him out of the window. He could only see the sky, and some fields, nothing more because they were so far off from the city. “You work at his firm? He hired you before you knew each other?”

“Yes… why?” Somehow Niall felt like he had to be on guard the entire time, as if he couldn’t say a lot of things, but it seemed he was just overreacting. Why would it matter if Liam’s father knew these things?

“Then you are probably familiar with this one author… “ He started, and then he suddenly opened a drawer on his desk, and Niall flinched for some reason, because he wasn’t sure what he was about to take out. It took a moment for him to realize what was happening when Liam’s father placed a book in front of him. One of Liam’s books. “I don’t think there’s a need to explain anything to you when Liam wrote those books about it all. But judging by your face, I’m assuming you read them.”

“How… “ Niall started, but his mouth just stayed open in the end.

“How do I know he wrote them? Because I was there when all of this happened. And I like to stay on top of which authors are signed to what label, it’s my job. I assume Liam was hiding his name afraid that I would find out, but… I’ve known about these books for a long time.” Well now… that kind of changed things?

“You don’t look upset.” The younger man noticed, his heart still beating really fucking fast. Liam’s father seemed like a bomb ready to explode at any moment, but at the same time he looked really fucking calm and unbothered. 

“Why would I be upset?” Well… 

“That he would write these things and publish them?” Niall asked carefully, but Liam’s father only looked down at the book cover.

“No one knows it’s about me and him.” He answered slowly, and Niall felt really hot all of a sudden. “Besides… even if he were to name names… it’s his past, no one can stop him from writing an autobiography.”

“So… it’s all true?” Niall asked, not because he had ever thought Liam would be lying, but because he would have assumed his father would be trying to deny every last bit of it.

There was a moment of silence, and then Geoff looked up and straight into Niall’s eyes, something on his face that Niall couldn’t quite name. “Every last word.”

The silence hanging over them after this was really uncomfortable. Here Niall was, sitting in the same room, opposite that man who had just admitted to him to having done all these awful things he should have been charged for, maybe arrested even. And they both knew it had happened, but Niall couldn’t do anything about it, not one thing. Even if he could have told someone, the police or whoever, it was way too long in the past, and he doubted Liam would have wanted that anyways. He had never taken action after all, not even shortly after he had moved out, which made all of this even sadder.

“Why?” Was all he could come up with, his head feeling as if it was spinning so he didn’t finish that question, but it was probably obvious what he meant. WHY was all of this true? Who would do something like that? And admit to it so easily?

“Because I was a horrible father. After Liam’s mother died…. It was a tragedy. She was my soulmate, we had been bonded for a long time before we had Liam. I blamed him for it, internally, though I know it was never his fault of course, she had cancer, but the pregnancy wore her out completely. I just focused on work to distract myself and at times I wanted to forget he even existed. And of course he felt that, he was a rebellious child and teenager until he changed his tactics once he was old enough. And look where he’s at now, more successful than me. It’s not an excuse of course, but it’s now long in the past.” He explained it very neutrally, as if he was telling Niall what he had had for dinner or something, nothing to be done about it anymore.

“You could have apologized. Or tried to talk to him, anything. Maybe-“

“It’s too late. You read all those things, haven’t you? I gotta be honest… I didn’t want to talk to him for a very long time, I was glad when he left to go to university and… for the longest time, I felt like I had done the right thing. I felt like it had been my right to do what I had done because of what had happened. Not true, obviously, but… I think Liam’s life is a lot better without me in it. He’s got you. He’s got a baby.” And then he stopped and Niall was about to say something, but he never got to it because he was in for yet another shocker. “… he’s about to have another one.”

“W- What do you mean?” Niall TRIED to look surprised and shocked, but it wasn’t working. 

“I can smell it, Niall, we’re alone in this room and it’s not that big. Either way, congratulations. Again.” He smiled briefly, and then he suddenly started to pack away the book he had put on the table.

“Thank you, I… “ Niall didn’t know what else to say, he had kinda even forgotten with what purpose he had come here. “I think Liam would still appreciate an apology.”

“Maybe, but what good would it do? Being reminded of it all again? I don’t really think I’ve got the right to apologize, it’s inexcusable and I don’t think he sees me as a father anymore. Maybe never has. I’ve kept out of his life for a long time, besides those few employees and authors I wanted for myself, but that had nothing to do with him.” And then he shrugged, but suddenly, he seemed thoughtful. “I was very surprised when I met you… and to see you’re about to have a baby… if you don’t mind me asking, is it a boy or a girl?”

“It’s a girl.” Niall told him slowly, trying to drown those feelings of … of what was it? Empathy? “Her name is Hazel. Hazel Marie.”

“A beautiful name.” He smiled and Niall wanted to say so many things, but then he didn’t even open his mouth for kind of a really long time, because he needed to re-evaluate.

Out of everything he had been expecting to happen here, this had not been it. Not in a million years.

“Why did you text Liam that you’d help me out? And the box and… if you don’t want to be in his life?” None of this made any sense, but then again… maybe it did.

“Because I _would_ help you out, just because Liam hates me doesn’t mean he couldn’t accept the help if it benefitted his husband. I don’t know why you did not sign that deal, if it was because of me or for other reasons, my friend was equally as confused as me. He told me you told him later it was because of the baby. And I met you while you were pregnant, you did marry into whatever kinda family this is, it felt appropriate to congratulate you.” Oh. “I assume Liam probably thought I was trying to threaten him or get into his business.”

“I mean… it was really out of nowhere. Very random, all of it.” It still was, it felt like a really abstract dream or something, as if Niall wasn’t even really here. Maybe he was just having very vivid hallucinations from the lack of sleep and was still at home.

“I’m sorry about that, I actually had no ill intentions.” And why did Niall believe him?! “Are your parents very excited they’ve got a granddaughter?”

“Yeah… my mother especially.” Niall told him slowly, and then something was on the tip of his tongue and he did NOT want to say this, but he wasn’t really thinking clearly anymore. “… I could talk to Liam. If he wanted to talk to you, would you agree?”

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea.” Liam’s father told him immediately, almost looking nervous. 

“I don’t know either, I just… Liam thinks you despise him. I think he’d be relieved to hear from you that you don’t. I don’t know if he can forgive you, but… I know he’d appreciate an apology.” More than anything, Niall had known that for a very long time, Liam had told him so himself. It went a lot deeper than that even, but Niall knew he had no right to say that in this situation, he was just here trying to work this out for his husband.

Liam’s father seemed very surprised by that, but also very unsure. He wasn’t looking at Niall anymore, he was just looking at the wall now. “I went to therapy for a long time after Liam had left… my therapist agreed that if I still felt hatred towards him because of what had happened, I should probably stay out of his life and not bother him… But for a few years now, it’s like… those feelings have passed. But I don’t want to make him false hopes, or make him feel he has to forgive me only because we are related. He’s doing very well for himself, he really does not need me and I agree I should have stayed out of his life completely, I just… didn’t.”

“I could still talk to him and see what he thinks about it all.” After finding out if he was about to kill Niall for what he had done today. Not that Liam would have ever done something like this, but… who knew? He felt very strongly about the topic and Niall knew it. And also, who knew if Niall would even be able to get home again, that car really was massive and he didn’t have much practice.

Thinking about it, this entire trip had been stupid, and reckless, but Niall was still glad something had told him to do this instead of sleeping the entire day like he would have done otherwise. 

“I’ll tell him about today anyways, and also about what you said… if you give me permission.” Niall added the last part because well… he kinda felt like it was appropriate, not because he was genuinely asking.

“I’m sure you would tell him everything either way. But I don’t mind it.” He was smiling, and for the first time, it didn’t actually look evil but rather… normal? “I will leave it up to him, I won’t get involved anymore. The fact that we both have publishing labels will always be there, though. But as I said, it has nothing to do with anything.”

“I’ve no idea how those things work so I will have to believe you.” Also something Niall would have never thought he’d ever say to this man. He hesitated then, because there really was nothing more to say at this point, except one thing. “… do you wanna see a picture? Of Hazel, I mean.”

“I’d love to, but I understand if you didn’t want to show me.” So of course now Niall had to.

When he left Liam’s father’s office a while later, he felt both terrified of getting home but also strangely relieved. At the same time, his guilt was eating him alive and he opted for not buying a phone charger at this store on the way home because he’d be there soon enough anyways.

If Liam hadn’t noticed he was gone then he would freak out either way once he found out what had happened, so really… it didn’t matter that much. Of course Niall would have liked to spare him the panic upon not knowing where he had gone, but it was too late for that anyways.

Plus, his way home wasn’t that short either.

\-----------

By the time Liam noticed Niall coming home, he had almost lost his damn mind. An hour had passed, maybe not even, but he had literally been about to just get into his own car and go search for Niall, somewhere, anywhere at all.

What if his father had done something to him?! It had been the thought that Liam hadn’t wanted to even imagine, but now that he knew Niall was safe as he drove the car up the driveway, he could finally allow himself to let it go.

“Hi, sorry, I-“

“Thank god you’re okay. I was so worried.” Liam had gone to hug him the moment he had walked through the door, holding him so tightly that he was sure he was hurting him a little bit. He felt himself shaking, his stomach still feeling tight as Niall hugged him back. They hadn’t even had a chance to look at each other yet, Liam was just so relieved that Niall was here, it felt like a dream. “Where were you? I tried to call you, your phone was turned off. I thought something had happened to you, I- sorry, I don’t wanna make it look like I’m controlling your every step, I just came home and you were gone and the car and… I’m just so glad you’re here.”

“My phone was out of charge, I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure when you’d be home and when I realized I had no battery I had already left. But it worked well with the car, I drove slowly, don’t worry.” Niall was rubbing his back, sounding as if he had just gone to pop to the store or something, but he had brought nothing back inside with him.

“It’s okay, babe, I’m glad it went well. You can of course go wherever you want, I was just worried.” Liam didn’t know what else to say, the question of where his husband had gone was of course burning on his tongue again but he felt like he wasn’t allowed to ask. Because if Niall had always had a car… Liam would have never questioned any of this and he didn’t wanna make Niall felt like he was controlling him or anything.

“I’m sorry.” The moment they pulled apart Liam kissed him immediately, a bit desperately, but he just couldn’t help himself. God, was he relieved. “Did you pick up Hazel yet?”

“No, Harry said it’d be fine if he watched her for a bit longer, I thought we could pick her up together.” Well, Liam hadn’t really thought anything other than that he would get a call from the police telling him they had found Niall’s body, but he was trying his best to forget that. 

“Yeah, ‘course.” Niall smiled at him, but it seemed a bit wonky, and immediately as he leaned in to peck Liam’s lips again, the older man could sense that something was about to happen. He was holding onto the younger man, but Niall was slowly letting his hands slip, taking Liam’s into his instead. “Can we talk before we do that?”

“Sure… about what?” Liam KNEW it was about where Niall had gone, and no idea why, but he suddenly felt worried all over again, so much that a rather nervous laugh escaped him. “You don’t want a divorce, right?”

“No? Why’d you think that’s what I wanna talk about? I love you more than anything in the world, Li, you know that.” He sounded rather shocked and Liam regretted what he had said, but Niall kissed him again and squeezed his hands, so that made him feel better. “It’s actually nothing bad.”

“Okay.” Liam nodded a bit, but he could still feel his heart beating fast, and he just HAD to ask. “Is it about where you went?”

“Yeah.” Niall agreed after some hesitation, studying Liam’s face for a moment before he slowly let go of the older man’s hand, taking off his shoes and jacket before pulling the older man with him to the couch.

These few moments seemed like eternity to Liam, he felt he was going to go insane any second. The past hour had been a nightmare, but suddenly it seemed like it would continue, because if what Niall was about to tell him was a good thing… why was he hesitating so much once they had sat down?

“I know I should have probably told you about this beforehand, but… it wasn’t really planned.” The younger man started, twisting his fingers together as he sat on the couch, cross-legged and facing Liam, the older man’s hand on his knee. “I just had a feeling I should do this, you know?”

“Do what?” Liam asked, afraid to even imagine what was about to come.

When their eyes met, somehow, for some reason, Liam knew before Niall had even said it.

“I drove to your dad’s firm.” Niall told him, and immediately, Liam’s mind went blank and he felt completely frozen. “Li, we couldn’t have just let this go on and on, live in fear of him and just wait for the next thing to happen. I wanted to clear this up once and for all and see what he really wants. For you. But also for Hazel. And for our sanity.”

“So you… you went to go see him, without telling anybody?” Liam asked, his voice sounding kinda far away, and very empty. Was this real?

“My phone was out of battery.” The younger man reminded him, but Liam was just staring at him, blinking. “I would have texted you if it had-“

“No, you wouldn’t have.” Liam cut him off, because he KNEW Niall would have not done it. Because Liam would have stopped him if he had, and the younger man knew that. “You only went today because I wasn’t home and Harry has Hazel.”

“Yes.” Niall admitted after a second and Liam’s heart dropped a bit. “Because I knew you would have never let me go. But this had to be cleared up, Liam. I didn’t want you having to do this and to be face-to-face with him, so I did it instead. We couldn’t have just let this go on and you know it.”

“He’s dangerous, Niall, do you not get that?” Seriously? Liam wasn’t even mad, he was just… all over the fucking place. “What happened?”

“I went to his office and we just talked about things.” The younger man had slowed down, but he was looking at Liam the entire time and the older man KNEW there was a lot more to this story. It bothered him that Niall hadn’t immediately said what an ass Liam’s father was and how terrible it had all gone. Because what the fuck? “Liam, are you okay?”

“No, I’m really not. But continue.” Liam told him honestly, trying to contain himself.

Niall didn’t continue immediately, he took a deep breath, and then he finally said it. “He knows about your books. He knows about everything and he didn’t try to deny any of it. He told me he knows he was a horrible father to you and that he went to therapy and he’s been trying to keep out of your life on purpose.”

“Keep out of my life?! He just tried to get my employees to quit. Even Harry.” Liam was SO close to losing it. So damn close. Somehow he had always kinda known his father would find out about the books, but it still surprised him that he had taken no action as a result. “He’s a psychopath, you can’t believe a word he says, Niall. He needs more than just therapy. If he even went there at all, he was probably just trying to make you feel bad for him.”

“I don’t feel bad for him, Liam. But what he said made sense. He said a few of his employees quit and it was normal that people in this business were competitors and it had nothing to do with you and-“

“And you believed that?” Liam cut him off, removing his hand from Niall’s knee.

“Liam-“

“No, just… just stop for a second, okay? I need some air.” He got up, shrugging off Niall’s weak grip around his wrist because he could feel himself wanting to yell. And he really did not want to yell at Niall right now. Or ever.

“You should talk to him. He’s sorry. You can finally talk this out and-“

And that was enough to make Liam turn around and lose it. “Talk WHAT out exactly?! He admitted it to your face that everything really happened, and you still feel bad for him?! The fact alone that you had to go ASK him if I lied in those books, I- I don’t even know what to say, Niall. You know what he’s done, he ADMITTED it to your face and you’re asking me to make up with him?! What the fuck, Niall? Do you not get that this bloody hurts me? You went behind my back to talk to my father, who did all those things to me, and you got along with him?!”

“I didn’t think you ever lied, I did this for you, Liam, I know how horrible you feel because of it all and that you want closure, you told me so. You said you always wanted him to be proud of you and-“

“But I didn’t ask you to do this or to get involved, did I?! You put yourself at risk driving there with barely any practice, while you’re PREGNANT and our daughter is with a friend and you went to my father, out of all people, alone, without telling anybody. He could have done god knows what to you, you don’t even know what he’s capable of! And now you wanna tell me that, oh, he went to therapy and he’s sorry, so I need to talk to him about how he abused me my entire childhood and still tries to ruin my life? Do you even hear yourself?!” Apparently not.

“Liam… “ Niall started, but the older man had already turned around to go walk outside into the garden, his tears having spilled over the moment he had looked away.

Fuck. What the hell was his life right now?! There was no way this was real. No fucking way.

It was freezing outside and Liam only had a shirt on, but he didn’t even care or notice, he just needed to stand there for a moment, breathe in the air and clear his mind. It wasn’t working.

“Li, I’m sorry, please let’s talk about this, I-“

“Go back inside.” Liam told him, because even now he was worried Niall would catch a damn cold standing on the patio with no shoes or a jacket.

“If you come with me I will.” The younger man insisted, but Liam couldn’t. Not yet.

“Please just leave me alone for a moment.” Or two, because this was really not just something to talk about randomly. Thank god Hazel was with Harry right now. 

“Li-“

“ _Please_.” Did he have to beg?

There was another moment of hesitation before Niall finally left and went back inside, allowing Liam to just stand there and stare off into the distance, the tears almost freezing on his cheeks because of how cold it was outside. He just couldn’t believe any of this, there was no way this was real. No way.

Deep down Liam knew Niall had done this for him, that he was on his side and had his back. That it was similar to how Liam had not told Niall the guy owning the music label was a friend of his father, but it felt very different still. This was about the demons in Liam’s past that he had never managed to get rid of, not even when writing those books.

He had always wanted his father to suddenly show up and apologize, tell Liam he would take it all back if he could, maybe come up with an excuse for his behavior. But there really was no excuse for any of it, and more than anything right now, Liam hated that Niall seemed to think there was.

Liam was forced to go back inside at some point when it was getting so cold it felt unbearable, but it was really the only thing he felt as he closed the glass door behind himself.

“Li… I’m sorry. I really am.” Niall told him immediately, he was just standing there across the room, keeping his distance, clearly unsure of whether he was allowed to come closer. “You look like you’re freezing, you should put something on or get a blanket or-“

“I’m fine. I’m not cold.” Liam just felt dead inside somehow.

“Can we talk about this?” The younger man asked after a moment, but Liam didn’t react, he just stood there, not even really knowing if he’d be able to process any of this. “I never thought you lied, Liam. I was simply assuming your father would deny all of it immediately. He didn’t. He said he knows it was wrong, that he was grieving because your mother was gone and they were soulmates and-“

“If I died tomorrow, would you start hating our daughter?” Liam interrupted without thinking, and it clearly threw Niall off track, his mouth just opened a little, nothing coming out. “Would you do any of the things to her that he did to me?”

“No, of course not.” Niall said it firmly, but Liam heard the shakiness in his voice. “I’m not making excuses for him, I’m just-“

“You’re rationalizing it. Like it’s something that just happens to people when their soulmate dies, they just go crazy and abuse their children. Even if he WAS sorry, he never said it. Until now, where he’s, oh, so enlightened. You’re the driving force behind this now, if you had never told me a word about today, he’d never come to me himself.” Also, Liam didn’t want him to anyways, he wouldn’t be able to accept that apology. “He hated me, Niall, I know it. Deep down, he probably still does. And you’re here trying to get us to get along?”

“You told me you wished he’d apologize and I can see how much it is bothering you, I KNOW you always wished he’d call and that you could talk about everything. You told me so. I was trying to help, I would NEVER think you lied about anything or try to push you to forgive him. I just wanted… I wanted to make this easier on you.” Now Niall looked like he was about to cry, but Liam couldn’t react properly. It still felt surreal. “Liam, please say something.”

“I just don’t know what to say.” He got where Niall was coming from and why he had done what he had done, he really did, it’s just… “I just can’t believe you would just drive to his firm and… and walk out feeling sorry for _him_.”

“I don’t. I don’t feel sorry for him. I showed him a picture of Hazel and told him her name, that is all I did and I regret it. I’m sorry, Liam, I went about it the wrong way, I never meant to undermine what happened in your childhood and I feel terrible, okay? I really do. I wanted to fix this for you, and I was hoping that if he had a good excuse that maybe you and him could… I don’t know… that you could find some peace. What he did is unforgiveable, and that won’t change no matter what he says now.” And yet…

“Looks like you were able to forgive him though. And even if it was just for a moment, you did feel sympathy for him when you showed him that picture.” When Niall didn’t say anything after that, Liam had his answer. “You could have just admitted it.”

The younger man looked like he was about lose it as well, but Liam couldn’t care right now, he walked past Niall without another word, starting to put on his shoes.

“What are you doing?” Niall’s voice was quiet, shaky, and Liam did feel an urge to go and make him feel better as always, but he resisted.

“I’m going to pick up our daughter.” Liam told him as he tied his shoes, a moment of silence passed, and then as he reached out for his jacket, he really had not expected Niall to get loud again, so he flinched.

“Okay, you know what? I did feel sympathy for him in that moment and I know it was wrong and I hated myself for it and I still do. I know I hurt you and that what I did was wrong and I apologize for that. But I still did it for you and because I wanted to fix this for you, and you and I both know it was bothering you your entire life and that we had to do something. There was no right way to go about this, you would have never let me go to him, and if you had gone yourself, it would have only hurt you even more. I wasn’t there when he did all those terrible things to you for so many years, I don’t know what it was like, I never will. So it was easier for me to believe him and I’m sorry. But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m on your side and I was hoping he had good excuses, not for me, but for YOU, because I was hoping that somehow, someday, you’d be able to have what you always wanted with him. I don’t care if he’s in our lives, I just want you to be happy. I was trying to talk it better because I was hoping it would help you, I was hoping he had changed so much that maybe you could really sit down with him and talk and listen to his apology. Why would I have wanted him to behave like an asshole, to go home and tell you he’s the worst person I ever met? I _wanted_ this to have a good outcome, for you, not me.” He took a deep breath then, while Liam didn’t know how to reply. “And I’m coming to pick her up.”

They didn’t talk anymore as Niall put on his shoes and jacket as well, and Liam would have liked to say something, he just didn’t know what. And it seemed, neither did the younger man.

Liam took his own car of course, and they had never had such an uncomfortable ride together, not even when they had barely known each other and they had been hooking up. A thousand things were going through Liam’s mind right now, he probably should have not even been driving, but the way to Harry’s and Louis’ place was so familiar by now, he could have gotten there in his sleep.

No one was home except Harry and the babies, for which Liam was really grateful, because he was honestly struggling to just uphold a neutral face for one single person for a few minutes.

“She was really good, I woke her up a while ago so you guys would get some sleep tonight, but she might have taken a bit of a long nap.” Harry sounded very apologetic, but little did he know Liam would get zero sleep tonight anyways.

“That’s okay, thank you so much for watching her.” Liam thanked him again as he picked up Hazel, kissing her forehead and just staring down at her for a moment before moving to put her into her car seat. He had never thought he’d be able to miss her this much after only a few hours. “Did you have a fun time, love? I sure missed you.”

Niall didn’t do anything really, he just stood there, and Liam was 100% certain that Harry had already picked up on the tension between them, but there was really nothing to be done about it. He was the master of discretion, so Liam wasn’t surprised that he never asked Liam or Niall about what had happened earlier. He could probably guess it hadn’t been a fun experience for either of them.

Niall did thank and hug Harry before they left, still in silence as they walked down the staircase.

“I’ll sit in the back with her.” The younger man told Liam, taking the carrier out of his hand and Liam just let him without saying a word. What would he have said to that anyways? Niall sat in the back with her a lot, but usually only when she was being fuzzy.

This time, Hazel was being still as a mouse when Niall secured the carrier in the back while Liam was just sitting in the front seat of his car, waiting for the younger man to be done with it and put his own seatbelt on. He waited for Niall to actually tell him that he was good before starting the car though, just because of what had happened today, Liam wouldn’t put anyone’s safety at risk here.

“… I think if I spend a lot of time around our friends they will already be able to smell that I’m pregnant again.” Niall broke the silence after a minute, and Liam gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter when a thought crossed his mind. 

“Did he comment on that today?” It was obvious who he was talking about, and Liam didn’t know why that even still mattered to him, but somehow it did.

“Um, yes.” Niall told him, clearly uncomfortable, but Liam had nothing to say to that anyways. It was already in the past, what would he have said? There was not even a need to get upset anymore. “We should tell people.”

“You can tell them anytime.” Was all Liam said, and he meant it. Of course it was very exciting and whatnot, but at the same time, it was definitely not what he cared about most right now.

“We should do it together.” There was something on the tip of Liam’s tongue, but he swallowed it down and opted for not saying anything at all instead.

There was no need to continue fighting, they had each said their pieces and each of them thought they were in the right, so what more was there to discuss? Liam just needed some time to process all of this, even if he wasn’t sure how.

When they got home, neither of them had eaten dinner, but Liam honestly did not want to order food for them right now , so he just heated up some leftovers while Niall was upstairs feeding the baby and getting her ready for bed. Cooking for the both of them right now felt like a burden, but Liam ignored how it made him feel, they had to eat after all, Niall especially since he was carrying not one, but TWO babies.

“Thank you.” Niall seemed surprised when he came downstairs, without Hazel so Liam assumed he had already put her down. He had lost track of time. “You didn’t have to-“

“It’s fine.” Liam cut him off, not wanting to get into this right now.

They also ate in silence, and just to make sure no conversation would come up, Liam was checking his computer while eating, silently getting started on doing the dishes once he was done and the younger man was still eating. Something he usually never did, but tonight was just different.

“Are we going to go to sleep without talking to each other?” Niall was the one who asked, he had simply started to dry off the dishes Liam had already cleaned. There was still so much tension in the air, Liam could have cut it with a knife.

“We’re talking right now.” He reminded the younger man, keeping his eyes on what he was doing with the dishes in the sink.

“You know what I mean.” Of course he did, but that didn’t mean they had to fix this right now or that Liam had to talk about it if he did not even want to.

“I have nothing to say. What happened, happened. I don’t really think I want to talk about it again.” The truth was, Liam wanted to just forget about it all, pretend today had never even happened, but he was well aware that that would not happen. So instead, he would just lie awake the entire night worrying.

“We don’t have to, I just… “ And then Niall broke off and Liam knew what his face looked like without turning his head. “I want you to know that I really am sorry. And that I love you, and I’d never want to hurt you. I know I was wrong to do what I did today… I’d still do it again though if that means you can maybe solve those issues with him.”

“There are no issues, we’ve not spoken in years.” It was just one massive issue more like, but only for Liam as it seemed, because his father had done quite a good job forgetting about him until recently. Of course, not counting the times he had been trying to get Liam’s employees to quit. “And you don’t have to apologize if you’re not sorry.”

“I am sorry.” Niall told him immediately, but Liam just shrugged.

“You just said you’d do it again.” Seriously, this was going nowhere.

“If this has a good outcome, of course I would do it again, just differently.” He seemed to be hesitating then and Liam was long done washing the last plate, but he kept going so he wouldn’t have to look at Niall. “… I’d talk to him again, but I wouldn’t believe him so quickly. I know I hurt you by feeding into his excuses, I’ve no idea what you really went through and I should have never tried to talk you into meeting with him and forgiving him. It was really unfair and ignorant and I’m really sorry for all of that.”

“It’s already done anyways.” Liam shrugged, not sure if this was making him feel better or not.

He handed the last plate to Niall eventually, and once everything was clean, he just stood there, not knowing what to do with himself.

“I’m going to bed.” Niall told him, and Liam half expected him to just walk past him, but he stopped to kiss the corner of his mouth and the older man didn’t pull away. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Liam told him after some hesitation, but he didn’t hold Niall back when he went upstairs. His own feelings were a mystery to him at this point.

Liam stayed downstairs for quite a while by himself, not really doing much, not even really thinking it all through like he should have. He went to check on Hazel after a while, watched her sleep peacefully in her crib because it was the only way to calm his nerves.

When he finally walked into the bedroom, Niall was deep asleep and Liam did not know what to do with himself. He tucked the younger man in before lying down next to him, kinda far away from him, staring at the ceiling in almost complete darkness.

It was probably 2 or 3 in the morning by the time Liam FINALLY managed to doze off for a little bit, waking up whenever Niall moved or he imagined Hazel crying in her sleep. She didn’t though, and at some point, even Liam’s brain seemed to get so tired of worrying and caring so much that he finally managed to get some rest as well.

At least for a few minutes, because it seemed only moments had passed before he was already awoken again by Niall puking his guts out in the toilet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello :)
> 
> as you can maybe guess, the fic is slowly coming to an end. no worries, i will write an epilogue or something about the future as well! and im not fully done yet anyways :) as expected, the moment my life gets less stressful is the moment the fic is almost finished anyways haha. thank you for all the comments, i really appreciate it! please dont be too hard on niall, i tried to explain his reasoning as best as i could, its a very tough situation for everyone involved!
> 
> hope you guys have a great week! ill finally get to answering comments now, but i usually check and read them every day, so thank you! <33


	30. Chapter 30

“How are you feeling?“ Liam arrived in the bathroom when the younger man seemed to already be done flushing the toilet. He was wiping his mouth with some toilet paper before sitting back to lean against the wall, still on the floor.

“I’m not sure.” Niall told him after some hesitation, his voice sounding a bit rough and Liam got him a glass of water before sitting down on the floor as well.

Because of what had happened, he didn’t sit next to his husband but rather kind of opposite him, not really knowing what to do now. He felt really bad for Niall, that he had to go through this again, when he hadn’t wanted to at all, and that it would probably be a lot worse, because there were two babies inside of him now. Once they were here, they’d probably have the hardest time ever, they’d be so exhausted, Liam was already tired just thinking about it.

But that could have also stemmed from the fact that he hadn’t been able to find rest just now and the moment he had, he had awoken hearing Niall puking his guts out. Combined with their lack of sleep from the last couple months and what had happened yesterday… it seemed to all be going wrong. 

Yet again.

“Sorry I woke you.” Niall had emptied the glass in almost one go before leaning his head back against the tiles on the wall.

“Better me than Hazel.” Liam meant it, he was prepared to hear cries any moment now. Then again, lately she had gotten SLIGHTLY better with sleeping, but what did that really mean? It could change again any moment.

The silence between them wasn’t so weird considering how late (or early in the morning) it was, and they both just sat there for a while. Liam was kinda tired but he knew he’d not be able to sleep again anyways, so he rather kept Niall some company. 

“I’m still sorry, I know you had trouble falling asleep.” No idea how he knew that, maybe he hadn’t slept as tightly or deeply as Liam had thought. He had been moving quite a lot, so maybe Niall had heard that as well.

There was more silence because Liam really did not know what to say, he simply shrugged before staring at something not near Niall’s face, no words coming to his brain and honestly, they should have gone to bed and just slept, but neither of them moved. 

“I’m sorry for what I did.” Niall started after a while, and honestly, Liam didn’t even have the energy to be upset about it anymore anyways. “But I’m still hoping something good can come out of it. At some point one of us had to do something, and in case it would have turned bad, I would have rather it was me there and not you. I never doubted what you told me or wrote in those books, I know it was really hard, and still is, and that I will never understand. I was simply hoping I could somehow make it better.”

Again, it was hard for Liam to think of something to say, because rationally, he knew why Niall had done what he had, and it made a lot of sense, and deep down he was grateful and he knew he was just looking for excuses to be upset with the younger man because he had gone behind his back. And maybe, just maybe, Liam had not wanted to be confronted with it like that, completely out of nowhere. 

“I know why you did it… I would have probably done the same if our places were switched.” Not just probably. “I’m sorry I got so angry, it’s just… I was really worried about you and I could tell you sympathized with him and I know you didn’t do that on purpose or anything and that it was a normal reaction, and that no one will ever know what it was truly like for me. So I’m not blaming you for that at all, I think maybe… maybe I was kinda angry you had to go and fix this for me and talk to him… and that he’s just… you know, leaving it up to you to go and talk to me about it. Like… he can’t even be arsed to call me himself, not even now. That’s why I’m really not sure if I wanna meet with him, he clearly does not care. I don’t think he ever did. Just because he realized what he did was wrong doesn’t mean he’s sorry.”

“I don’t know if he’s really sorry, Li. He’s a terrible person for what he did to you, I have no idea if he changed, if that’s even possible, or if he was just lying to me. I’m sorry if I’m putting you on the spot and making you decide. But if neither of us ever contacts him again… “ Then he surely would not, but there was no need for Niall to even say that.

“That’s exactly why I don’t think he cares. And I don’t wanna make up with him just to make him feel better and give him a free pass. It must be horrible losing your soulmate, I have no idea what I’d do if I ever lost you, but it’s like… still not a reason to do what he did. Like, not just once and- anyways, I don’t know what to do.” Liam admitted finally, because it was true, he felt lost, and he did not want to have to make this decision.

“If anything, at least we know he wasn’t threatening us. And he’s known about your books for a long time as well. And apparently he competes with everyone in the same business the same as with you.” That was true, that was one good thing that had come out of Niall’s trip, even if it had almost cost Liam all of his nerves. 

“Yeah… I mean, even if I decide not to ever talk to him again, at least we won’t have to worry about it anymore.” They had new problems already anyways. “In that sense it was good that you went.”

Niall nodded a bit, but he also seemed slightly lost in thoughts and Liam wasn’t sure if it was because he was about to puke again or because he was just thinking about stuff. He had his answer when the younger man opened his mouth again. “I feel like maybe another reason why he never contacted you is because he’s just truly shit at communicating with people. I mean… he did congratulate us. He also sent that box thinking you’d want it.”

“I mean, yeah… “ Also, Liam couldn’t really judge any of that because he had been really shit at communicating with people as well, at least if it came to private business. Now he knew where he had gotten that from. “It’s just… I don’t know what to make of any of this. I need to think about it.”

“You’ve all the time in the world to think about it, Li. I know it’s very stressful to make that decision because you don’t know what’s going to happen, but there’s really no rush at all, and also-…. “ Niall broke off in the middle of the sentence, and Liam thought he needed to think about what to say next, but before he knew it, his husband was already puking into the toilet again.

This time, Liam went over to sit next to him, rubbing his back and trying not to breathe through his nose because he wasn’t immune to the sounds or the smell. Niall didn’t really throw up for very long though, and he also always immediately flushed the toilet, he just seemed very exhausted when he leaned back, and Liam got him another glass of water.

“I think my stomach is completely emptied now… “ He had only been dry heaving by the end of it, his eyes were red and tear stained and Liam felt so bad for him, but he had no idea what to do except brush some hair out of his face and stroke his cheek. “This sucks, it always comes completely out of nowhere.”

“I’m sorry… can I do anything? Maybe some crackers or something would help. Or some tea.” Liam tried, but the younger man didn’t seem to be very thrilled about those ideas.

“Thank you, I think I’m good though… I’ll just stay here for a bit and it’ll pass… maybe I should keep a bowl by the bed, but that’s gross.” He looked very weak, but there was really not much Liam could have done for him sadly.

“I’ll stay here with you.” He promised instead and Niall smiled weakly, looking as if he’d protest any moment, but then he didn’t, and Liam took it as a sign that he really wanted him to say. 

Liam moved after a while, leaning against the bathtub instead and pulling Niall next to him. The younger man leaned into him immediately, head on his shoulder and Liam just held him, trying not to fall asleep right then and there. Somehow their whole fight yesterday seemed meaningless now, because by the end of the day, Liam knew that Niall would always want what was best for him, that they were soulmates and no matter what happened, they’d find their way back to each other.

Of course it didn’t mean they’d never made mistakes or would never fight, it just meant that they also brought out the best in each other, and that they were ideal life partners. And Liam felt that, and he knew Niall did as well.

“You know what I’ve been thinking about?” Niall mumbled after a while, and Liam just waited for him to continue, tightening his arms around him. “We had such trouble coming up with just one name for a baby, and now we immediately have to come up with two more.”

“I think we went about it the wrong way, maybe it’ll just come to us once we look at them like with Hazel.” Liam tried to encourage the younger man, but Niall just sighed.

“And what if we won’t? We should make another list, a twin proof list, like… I feel like the names gotta flow together. But then again… they might not even have the same gender and I just… I kinda don’t wanna think about it right now.” Very relatable, Liam really did not feel like thinking about it anymore either. Not because he didn’t think it was exciting, just because it was the middle of the bloody night.

“I think if we get started sooner with everything this time we won’t be as stressed… you know, with the rooms and everything? And we already know some things and we’ll have a lot more experience when they’re here, right? It’ll be exhausting, but we will be fine. We always are, somehow.” Even if they could sometimes fall asleep standing up straight, but that was another story.

“Yeah… I hope so. I mean, at least your house is big enough, imagine if we lived in a smaller apartment or something. We’d have to move and stuff, it’d be a literal nightmare.” That was very true, also if Liam had a different job, he kinda didn’t even wanna think about it because he knew how privileged they were. “When are we going to tell everyone?”

“As soon as you want to, I don’t mind, we could do it tomorrow. They’ll probably be able to tell very soon anyways.” Liam’s father had been able to tell, and Liam was kinda upset that he had been the first one to find out, but then again, he didn’t know it was twins, and if Liam decided never to speak to him again, then he would never even know their names.

“I feel like we should make it a big deal but I kinda just wanna… say it, you know? Like… it is special, but at the same time, everyone will know it was an accident. I mean, a happy accident, we both want the babies, just… you know.” Liam knew. Very well.

“We can just say it, I’m sure everyone will be happy for us.” Probably also concerned, but they wouldn’t say that to their faces, right? Then again, even if they did, it would seem appropriate either way. 

“Okay, let’s do that.” Niall agreed immediately, and Liam kinda felt like he just wanted to get it over with, which was completely alright with him, so he stayed silent.

They had two more quiet minutes before Hazel started crying and Liam volunteered to go, but before he did, he made sure to kiss Niall on the lips, despite the younger man’s protest, but he had wiped his mouth and had some water, and Liam wasn’t kissing him with tongue anyways.

“I’ll be right back.” He promised before he left, somehow feeling a whole lot better now than he had before, despite the fact that it was the middle of the goddamn night. It was just a nice feeling to know that they had somehow made up and talked about this, and that the situation had calmed down as well.

After all, Niall had truly done it to help Liam, and the older man knew that of course.

Hazel had kind of calmed herself down by the time Liam arrived, she was still whining a bit but that also stopped very quickly as soon as he picked her up and rocked her a bit in his arms, kissing her head a few time as he talked to her. Liam changed her diapers before deciding to just take her back with him to the bathroom.

“Are you feeling better?” He was surprised to find Niall back in bed, one of the bedside table lights on, but the rest of the room dark.

“Kind of. I also brushed my teeth.” The younger man announced and Liam smiled as he walked over to his side of the bed while Niall made some space between them so Liam could put their daughter down. She was wide awake now, and he had known that she’d cry again the moment he’d leave her. “Hi, angel…. did daddy calm you down?”

“He tried.” Liam joked as he leaned over Hazel to kiss Niall again before half lying down as well while the younger man was busy with their daughter. 

“Imagine having three kids in bed with us.” They’d have to get a bigger bed before that would happen, which really said something, but Liam actually kinda liked the thought of that. “We’ll have no space left.”

“And where is our dog going to sleep?” Liam asked, kind of jokingly, kind of in a serious manner.

“On the floor, he can have a dog bed or something. He’d squish the kids.” Fair enough. “It’ll be ages before we can go on vacation again.”

“We can still go in a few months, with her, it wouldn’t be a problem. We’d just need to see how far along you are at that point. I still owe you a honeymoon.” Their wedding seemed so long ago now when it really had not even been that long ago that they had met, just a bit over a year. It had all gone by so fast, and Liam knew it was probably also a soulmate thing, but it was still crazy to think about.

“I can wait, I’ll be fine.” Niall seemed very calm about it all, so Liam managed to relax. 

He didn’t really know when he fell asleep, all he knew was that Niall made Hazel fall asleep before bringing her back to her crib and when he cuddled up to Liam to try and sleep as well, the world seemed whole again.

\----------------------

“Sooo… we wanted to tell you guys something.” Niall had to start at some point, because if he didn’t, he never would. And if he never would, everyone else would already have guessed it anyways before he had even opened his mouth. And then they’d be in the same situation again as last time. And he could really not need that.

Everyone was at their house, meaning Harry, Louis, the kids and Zayn, and Niall and Liam had done their best to cook and even make a bloody cake only to find out Harry had made one and brought it along anyways. Well, at least the kids were stoked about that.

It was obvious that Harry and Louis were sharing looks and that Zayn also did not look too curious, which was also why Niall used the chance that the girls were playing and the babies were sleeping to finally say it out loud. He did look at Liam for a moment, who gave him an encouraging nod.

“We’re having another baby.” It sounded very weird, saying it out loud, and also, saying it like THAT, and Niall had no idea why he was making it sound like they were only expecting one more.

“Oh wow, congratulations, that’s great.” Everyone was faking their excitement and their surprise and Niall almost had to laugh at them, for a moment even enjoying the fact that he was about to drop an actual bomb on them.

“I know you were all already suspecting it anyways.” He continued, and they shrugged and shared looks, Louis was grinning and Zayn was staring at his plate, as if he was embarrassed that he hadn’t been able to fake it better. Liam was smiling too, but probably because he knew that Niall wasn’t done yet. “There’s something else.”

Now everyone looked at them again, clearly more confused and curious than before, but no one said anything, they just waited for Niall to take a breath. This kinda wasn’t as easy as the first part had been. Surely, if they were only expecting one more baby, he would have been equally as nervous to say that as well.

“Actually… “ He started, clearing his throat, kind of hoping Clara and Josie were very busy over in their corner playing Barbie or whatever and that the babies would not suddenly throw a fit. “Actually we’re having two more babies. We’re-“

“You’re getting a dog?” Louis threw in, and Niall kinda wanted to just shush him but he also wanted to laugh. He could tell by Zayn’s and Harry’s facial expressions that they knew it wasn’t a dog. 

“No. We’re having twins.” Niall told him straight out, which was when everyone’s chin kind of dropped and their eyes were pretty big all of a sudden. “I’m 10 weeks along.”

“I… that’s… completely out of nowhere, but oh my god, I’m so happy for you guys.” Zayn seemed to genuinely be over the moon for them, he immediately got up to go and hug them both to their surprise. “Are you okay? Was it… “

“It wasn’t planned. As you can all probably guess.” No need to hide that, was there? “But we’re really excited.”

“And we definitely accept name suggestions.” Liam threw in and Niall threw a smile at him, reaching over to put his hand on the older man’s thigh.

“I was really not expecting this, I- I thought I smelled a difference in your scent and we were kinda expecting it because of that, but… twins. Wow.” Louis seemed completely at a loss of words, and Niall saw the pity in Harry’s eyes, because he was the only one who knew what Niall was actually going through right now. “Good thing this house has so many spare rooms.”

“Has never come more into handy.” Liam agreed, and Niall was a bit stressed out thinking about decorating one or two more rooms, but he was also a little bit excited.

Harry and Louis came to hug them and congratulate them again as well, and Harry did linger a bit longer as he hugged Niall, half whispering into his ear. “Don’t worry, we’re here if it gets too much. Or if you just need a time out. And I gotta say it’s maybe even better to have them not so far apart, because then Hazel won’t have just turned into a toddler and be able to do more things before you’re having another one. And she won’t be that jealous at that age either.”

“I hope you’re right… I just really wanted a break, but… I’m also excited. And I’ve got Liam, we’ll be fine.” They had to be, did they have a choice? Not really. “Thank you, Haz.”

His friend rubbed his back for a bit before letting go and Niall smiled at him. He felt better now knowing their friends would have their backs. He had known that before of course, but it was really nice to openly see and hear it.

Liam also seemed very pleased with the outcome, he pulled Niall to his side after, kissing his cheek a few too many times. They also had to separately tell Josie and Clara, the younger girl needing a bit of extra explanation though as to how exactly two babies can fit into Niall’s stomach, at ONCE. By the time she had gotten it though, she was already busy drawing pictures and pretending to write down names.

It was so nice to have everyone over, not as exhausting as Niall would have thought, because there were so many adults now willing to help in the kitchen and with the dishes and always someone who would go and pick up Hazel when she cried, the girls were happy to hold her as well and it was just a good day. Also, James was getting so big that he almost needed constant attention, but Niall was really happy to play with him and carry him around, talk to him, and the longer he thought about it, the more he could not wait for Hazel to also get older so they could do all this stuff together.

Of course deep inside he also kinda wanted her to always be a baby, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be excited for what the future would bring, right? He knew Liam felt the same about it too.

As much as they had thought this day would become stressful and exhausting, as good did they both feel after everyone had left and they had finally gotten it over with.

Well, now there were only 2 more people left that they had to tell, and Liam had to make a decision, but there was no need to rush that, was there? Niall still felt guilty about what had happened, even though they had moved on from it fairly quickly and he would have probably done it again. Maybe not exactly that way, but… what choice had he really had?

And in the end, it might actually be helpful to Liam and make his life easier, which had been the main goal.

\-----------------------

“I really don’t feel like going inside.” Niall and Liam were still in the car in front of the younger man’s parents’ house, and Niall still did not know why they had agreed to come here. The last time he had been here, he had just walked away like he had in his teens. And now here he was, with his husband, and their baby, pregnant with twins.

“We’ve got a couple minutes left. We can come a bit late.” Liam tried to calm him, stroking his thumb across the younger man’s while Niall just sighed. “How’d you think they’re going to react?”

“Probably be excited, I don’t know. I don’t know really care anymore what they think of us or how they take certain things… they know they gotta keep it together if they still wanna see Hazel regularly. And their future grandkids as well.” Lately Niall’s parents had actually been very tame and normal, which was rare, but maybe they had learned and changed? Who knew, he had other problems.

“I think it’ll be fine. It all went really well with everyone else.” The older man was saying it very carefully, because they both knew that telling their friends would have not created drama, but with Niall’s parents… they were really unpredictable, depending on the day. 

“They will get us so many clothes, in every color. I mean, now they can buy double for each baby.” And Niall wouldn’t try to talk his mother out of it again, there was simply no use. And they were donating all the clothes and toys that Hazel really did not need or did not like or simply could not wear size wise. “… I hope my mom made cake.”

“We brought a whole cake ourselves.” Liam let out a laugh as Niall simply shrugged. Not his fault he was having pregnancy cravings yet again, it seemed they had never gone away anyways. “If she didn’t make you one I’ll buy you another one on the way home, promise.”

“This is why I married you.” Niall joked, but he smiled, leaning over to kiss his husband on the cheek. 

They wasted a few more minutes in the car before deciding to go inside, only 5 minutes too late. Liam took the whole carrier with Hazel in it, and also the bag with her things despite Niall’s protest, so all the younger man could really do was ring the doorbell.

“Oh, there you are! The food is getting cold. Hello, love.” Niall’s mother greeted him way too enthusiastically as usual, and Liam as well of course before her eyes got stuck on Hazel, where they would probably remain for the rest of the day. “I hope you still like my apple pie, Niall. You’ve not had it for so long.”

“Oh, definitely, I could never forget that.” He told her quickly, elbowing Liam when he let out a laugh that he tried to hide behind a cough. Truth was, he had kinda forgotten about it, and it had also never been that great, but when Niall had been a child, he had appreciated everything his mother had made him, because she had rarely made him birthday cakes or anything of that sort. “Where’s dad?”

“I sent him to the store, I forgot something. Come in, come in.” She seemed stressed out for whatever reasons, immediately reaching out to take the carrier from Liam as they entered. “Did you miss your granny, princess? Of course you did.”

“We could have picked something up on the way, we drove past a ton of stores.” Liam threw in, but his statement got ignored as Hazel had taken all the attention yet again. Nothing new.

Niall’s mother had made way too much food once his father had finally arrived as well, which surprised Niall a lot because they had definitely never eaten this much whenever guests had come over in the past. The longer he thought about it though, his mother was more and more turning into a real grandma, and he was actually pretty happy about that. 

As long as she was good with Hazel and their other kids, he would be able to put their differences aside and somehow arrange himself with her. 

“So, how is work going? Are you still doing home office?” Niall’s mother asked as she filled Liam’s plate yet again despite many protests. 

“As much as I can.” Liam told her, looking as if he was in pain from all the food, so Niall took that as an invitation to eat from his plate as well, which his mother commented with a weird look before she started to fill his plate as well. Bad idea. “I do have to go to the office sometimes.”

“But it’s completely fine, it’s no problem for me if I’m alone with her for a few hours.” Niall threw in immediately before anyone would get the wrong ideas. Liam was the best husband and father in this entire world, and Niall wished everyone could have known that. 

“If you need any help or just a day or two to relax, then you can always call, you know that.” She almost sounded as if she was upset that they had never really taken up that offer. Thank god she didn’t know that they would have rather asked everyone else before her. Not because they didn’t trust her, but because if they did this once, she’d want it all the time.

“Thanks, mom. But we’re good, just tired once a while, but it’s getting better.” Or something like that at least. Also, if she only knew…. 

“Just wait until she can walk and talk or once she’s getting her teeth. It never ends.” Very motivating. “When are you going back to work, Niall?”

“Not sure. Sometimes I help Liam out from home, so.” They never really talked about that, and especially now it was becoming more and more unrealistic that Niall would go back to the office anytime soon.

Plus… as stupid as it was, Niall was still kinda hoping he could make something out of his music some day. Even if it was just a single album or something, just so he could say he accomplished that, not because he wanted to desperately become super successful and make a career out of it.

It would have been nice, but with three kids… 

“Stay home as long as you can, it’s really important for her. And you can’t really get fired, can you?” His mother laughed, and Niall wondered why she was now giving him parenting tips like that, but he knew better than to say anything. 

They had some more small-talk, just the basic things, and then it was finally time for the cake after Niall had fed Hazel in the living room, his parents thankfully leaving him alone for that. Niall just felt bad that Liam had to endure an array of questions and tips in the meantime, but he’d survive. 

“So, we… or better, I was thinking about some things.” This did not sound good, especially not because Niall’s mother corrected herself to exclude his father, but Niall decided to take it easy, whatever it was. 

“What things?” Niall asked between bites of his cake while Liam was holding Hazel next to him, trying to get her to go to sleep even though everyone was talking.

“We’ve not celebrated Christmas as a family in years.” Oh god, not this. “I was thinking it would be really nice if we could arrange something. Your father agrees, even if he now looks like he wants to deny it.”

“I do think it would be nice.” He threw in and Niall could tell he was embarrassed, that he had probably told her not to bring this up.

Niall chewed slowly, so he could take longer to answer and share a look with his husband. It should have been a mutual decision, but now they really could not discuss this in private before answering. 

“… of course we understand that you might want to celebrate as the little family you are now.” Niall’s mother quickly continued, but by the tone of her voice, Niall knew she would have not understood that in any way at all. She might have tried her best not to let it show though, he would have to give her that at least. “And that there might be family from Liam’s side who you want to spend time with. I mean, I don’t know about your father… I know your mother-… well, anyways, we’re open to anything at all.”

“There is no one from my family. And we’re not in contact with my father.” Liam told her after Niall had almost gotten cake stuck in his throat. OF COURSE his mother had to bring this up at a time like this, when they had not talked about this for a while and he had come to think that Liam would just ignore it all until the world ended.

It was his decision, and yeah, sometimes Niall had to bite his tongue so he wouldn’t bring the topic back up, even just casually. If Liam had wanted to talk about it with him, he would have, he just sometimes needed a lot of time to make decisions like that. Or he might have simply decided to just never do anything about it. In that case though, he might have told Niall.

Clearly, Niall’s mother did not know what to say so that, so she just looked very guilty and very sorry, staring Niall down as if she was about to jump across the table if he didn’t answer soon. Meanwhile, his father was on his fourth piece of cake so he would not have to intervene. Casual.

“We can arrange something.” Niall told her after a moment of silence, shrugging a bit as if it wasn’t that big of a deal. It wasn’t, actually, they had both been expecting questions like that for a lot longer to be quite honest here. “We’ve not really planned anything so far, but we’ll let you know.”

“Great, that sounds perfect. Who wants more cake?” And then everyone got more cake though no one said anything, and she was in the best mood again while Niall truly questioned what he had just agreed to without even really knowing about it.

They had accepted this invitation only to tell them about the twins, and now hours had passed and they had discussed everything and everyone and Niall had not opened his mouth so far. It got to a point where he felt like they were about to overstay their welcome and he really just wanted to get up, but he still never spoke up. 

That was, until Liam finally took it upon himself.

“We actually wanted to tell you guys something.” He started, catching Niall completely off guard as he looked at him. “I don’t know if you wanted to say it or… “

“You can.” Niall told him, actually kinda glad that his husband would be doing all the work this time. But he made sure to reassure his mother before that, because she looked close to losing it, as per usual. “It’s nothing bad, mom.”

“Thank god. What is it, boys?” She still seemed very stressed and Niall suddenly had no idea what reaction to expect.

Liam really took his time with it, as if he was nervous or did not know how to word it, but in the end, he just said it anyways. “Niall’s 12 weeks pregnant. We’re having twins.”

There was a lot of silence following that, and just for a moment, Niall thought his mother would actually yell at him asking him if he was crazy, but he quickly came to realize she was just getting emotional.

“Congratulations, that’s wonderful news.” Niall’s father seemed genuinely happy and no idea why Niall cared, but he felt relieved after hearing that. “That surely won’t be easy seeing as Hazel is so young, but if you need hel-“

“We’re always here to watch any of the kids, of course, just call and- oh my god, that’s… I’ve only just become a grandma, and now I’ll be a grandma to THREE kids! I never thought you’d even have just one child, Niall. That is so exciting. Did you plan it?” She probably was not noticing how rude she was being while holding back tears, so Niall let it slip. Just this once, no fighting today.

“I mean… “ Niall stared before sharing a look with Liam, who just nodded a bit. “Kind of. Not so soon, but… of course we didn’t plan twins. We were just as shocked.”

“I can imagine. Just in time for Christmas! Don’t buy anything yet. You’ve not bought anything so far, have you? I’m free all day tomorrow, I’ll take a trip to the mall. I’ll cook you a few meals for the freezer as well… do you want more of that cake?” Niall’s mother had already gotten up to write things down before anyone could have answered any question at all and though it was a bit of a chaos and completely out of nowhere, Niall was growing to somehow enjoy it all.

For the first time in his life, he actually felt like he had parents who cared, his father was not that great at showing emotions, which was fine, but his mother was really trying her best here, he had to give her that. 

It only made Niall even sadder when he reached over to intertwine his fingers with Liam’s though, throwing him a smile and seeing it mirrored in his husband’s face. He knew deep down that whenever they were around Niall’s parents, and despite what had happened in the best, Liam would have not thought twice trading his father for parents like that.

It was just so damn frustrating that Niall was completely helpless in this situation, that he had already tried to help and it had kind of backfired. He’d just have to give Liam all the time he needed, even if it was hard, even if he wanted to rush things.

He had already made a mistake going behind his back, he would not make another one.

\----------------------

“I can’t believe there are actually people here working, on a Sunday evening. What’s wrong with them? No one ever used to do that when I was still here as well.” Niall was shocked when they had come to the firm because Liam had needed to pick something up. They had just stopped on their way home from Niall’s parents, after they had thought they’d never be able to leave after telling them about the twins.

Well, they’d never have to worry about running out of clothes and toys now, so that was something.

“I’ve no idea. Maybe me not being here actually means everyone suddenly wants to work harder. I’m not making them work on Sunday’s. But they’ll get the hours paid of course.” Liam sounded a bit guilty as he walked over to his desk while Niall closed the door, putting the carrier with their sleeping baby in it next to the couch. 

“Feels kinda weird being here now. I don’t even know anymore what it was like when we were both here every day. Literally all day.” Truly, and how had Niall even stood not touching Liam on a daily basis? He had definitely struggled back then. “Remember when you made me go to the casino with you? How’s that guy doing now?”

“Really well, actually, he’s still writing for us.” Liam told him a bit absently as he looked through some letters he had had someone put on his desk or something while Niall just walked around, looking out of the window before he was starting to get bored.

He managed to distract himself a couple more minutes, thinking about what had happened at his parents’ place, how excited they had been and how exhausting Christmas was going to be. And yet somehow exciting at the same time.

When Niall wanted Liam to be done, he simply walked up behind him, wrapping his arms around the older man’s stomach, squeezing him as he pressed his lips against the back of Liam’s neck. “Are you almost done with this?”

“Almost.” Liam promised, rubbing Niall’s arm around his stomach, but continuing to sort out the letters still.

Niall let him do it for a moment, but he didn’t let go of him, just kept pressing his lips against Liam’s skin, tightening his arms until he knew it was starting to become a distraction.

“’m almost done, babe.” The older man told him, and Niall just made some sound, not really caring all too much. “Ni… “

“What?” Niall asked, rubbing his hand over Liam’s stomach, and then simply slipping it underneath his shirt, because why the hell not? “You can continue sorting that out, I don’t mind it.”

“I can’t concentrate like this.” Liam gave back, and Niall bit back a smile, not stopping whatever he was doing because he didn’t care, he knew what he wanted right now. “Baby… “

“Hmm?” Niall made, and then FINALLY, Liam moved to turn around, so that was the only reason why Niall loosened his arms around his husband. Just a little bit though, not fully. 

“It would have taken me five more minutes.” Liam told him playfully, cupping Niall’s face in his hands as the younger man shrugged.

“So? You could have just done it, I didn’t tell you to stop.” He grinned at the older man, knowing he had won when Liam kissed him on the lips, gently, but also longingly. 

“Well, I can’t with you distracting me that much, can I?” Liam mumbled against Niall’s mouth and the younger man just sighed as he wrapped his arms back around Liam, kissing him some more because he could.

They had not done anything in Liam’s office for ages and ages of course, but now that Niall had thought about it, and now that they were here all alone, knowing no one would come through the door… suddenly it felt really tempting to Niall.

They had had a lot of stress lately, mostly emotionally, but stress nevertheless, so it felt really good to just be kissing Liam, nudging his lips apart to deepen the kiss the first chance he got. Liam’s hands slipped down to Niall’s waist, squeezing him before pulling him in closer, until they were impossibly close and touching in every possible way. Niall wrapped his arms around Liam, keeping them tight as they snogged, running his fingers through his husband’s hair because he knew how much he liked him doing things like that. 

God, they really did not get a lot of time alone lately, Niall was really missing that, even though he knew that it also came from the fact that once they did have time, they were usually too tired to do much at all.

Not really today though.

Liam turned them around at some point, moving them so that Niall was standing against the desk instead as the older man was crowding him against it, almost making his legs give in. Niall was clinging to him desperately, not noticing any time passing whatsoever whenever he was kissing Liam like this, it still felt like the very first, still with those butterflies and that warm feeling in his stomach, that tingling because he knew it was _Liam_ who was touching and holding him like this.

“Li… “ Niall whispered as they both had to catch some air, their faces still so close that they were feeling each other’s breaths. “The baby is right there… “

Liam barely turned his head around and Niall kept his eyes closed, kissing the older man’s cheek instead because he could have no separated from him even if he had tried. When Liam answered, his lips were already back against Niall’s. “She’s sleeping.”

“She could wake up… “ Niall continued, wanting to enjoy this, but at the same time not being able to stop thinking about their daughter possibly opening her eyes and seeing whatever they were doing. No way would she remember this and it would also not traumatize her at that age, but it was like… a really strange thought. 

Liam kissed him for a bit, and Niall had almost forgotten about his worries by the time the older man suddenly stepped away from him.

“Don’t stop.” The younger man couldn’t help but whine, walking a step with Liam as he chuckled.

“Just a second.” He told Niall, putting a finger under his chin to kiss him one more time. Liam simply went to pick up the carrier, and to Niall’s shock, he went to put her in the bathroom, not shutting the door but closing it halfway. “Now we’re good.”

“Li… it’s the bathroom.” Niall tried to be shocked, but once Liam was coming back and taking his hand to pull him over to the couch, he had kinda already forgotten about it.

“A bathroom no one besides me ever uses. And she’s right there, we’ll hear every sound she makes.” Fair enough. “C’mere.”

Niall didn’t have to be told any of that twice.

He went to straddle the older man’s lap once Liam had set down, trying to hold back those moans and really any sound at all as Liam’s hands were roaming all over his body, under his shirt and then to cup his arse over his jeans, pulling him in tightly until they were completely pressed together. Meanwhile Niall was kissing him deeply and desperately, plunging his tongue inside the older man’s mouth, wanting more and more and everything right at this second.

He barely noticed when they had to take a break to half rip off their shirts, just throwing them somewhere before they were back to snogging again, this time with goosebumps raising all over Niall’s skin with every brush of Liam’s palms. They were both still wearing their jeans, but they were so close that every movement and every push of Niall’s hips against Liam’s was definitely doing something.

Niall already felt his jeans were too tight, and he could have maybe even come like this, after just pushing and rubbing against the older man, snogging him as Liam’s fingers were playing with his sensitive nipples, but Niall really wanted more than just that. 

“Liam… please… “ He quietly moaned inside Liam’s mouth, not even really knowing how this would work right now in this position, but knowing he needed SOMETHING.

Liam worked on getting their pants open without ever breaking their kiss, his hand fondling Niall through his open jeans and it was so bloody good, but it wasn’t really working that well. Somewhere, in the back of Niall’s mind, he remembered them being in exactly that same situation like a year ago.

“This isn’t working… “ Niall groaned against Liam’s swollen lips, a bit frustrated by now, and the older man seemed to agree immediately.

They were kinda forced to break the kiss as Liam half pushed Niall off of him so he could get up, dragging him over to the desk with him. No idea why, but Niall’s heart was suddenly beating really fast at the prospect of what was about to happen.

“We could-“

“Don’t ask.” Niall told him quickly, kinda wanting Liam to just take him right here and right now.

They were still both wearing jeans as they snogged against the desk once more, Niall digging his finger nails into Liam’s skin, trying to somehow thrust against him to get any kind of friction, and finally, it seemed to be enough for the older man.

He was just the right amount of dominant and rough as he let out a grunt, turning Niall around against the desk and the younger man moaned quietly as Liam pulled down his jeans with his boxer shorts, just enough to expose his arse. “Ni-“

“Please, fuck me.” Niall told him as he bent over the desk, not being able to take it anymore. 

He heard Liam pulling down his pants, rubbing himself before putting a hand on the small of Niall’s back, the other one guiding the head of his erection inside the younger man. He didn’t push in immediately, just kept rubbing the tip against Niall’s hole while the younger man was moaning, trying to push back against, just needing any kind of relief right now.

His knuckles were turning white as he pressed his eyes closed as Liam was FINALLY pushing inside of him, slowly, all hot and pulsing, until he was filling him out completely.

Liam was cursing quietly under his breath as he waited just a moment before starting to move and Niall simply could not hold back these moans anymore as Liam started to really fuck him against that desk. He was not holding back, his rhythm was hard and fast and Niall was so fucking hard as the older man was hammering into his prostate, his knot already swelling after such a short amount of time, making the drag just the right amount of pain and pleasure. 

They never had sex like this anymore and Niall had an even harder time to be quiet because the door to the bathroom wasn’t even closed or anything and he was way too aware of it, but he also kinda forgot about it along the way. Pretty sure he let more than just one moan escape, his arms were about to give in as Liam’s knot was swelling to its full size and the older man was clearly getting more desperate chasing his own orgasm as Niall’s fingers were getting weak.

“Fuck, baby… “ Liam groaned into his ear and Niall just bit his lip, hard. It was the most uncomfortable position to have sex, but it was also so bloody hot because it reminded Niall of when they had just started this and Liam had been a lot rougher in bed. Now he was keeping his arm around Niall’s stomach from behind, making sure he wasn’t crowded against the desk so nothing would happen, holding him up as he fucked into him, still doing it in a somewhat gentle manner.

Not that he had ever been that rough before, it had always been whatever both of them had wanted of course, it had also been the thrill of doing this with no one else knowing about it, keeping it a secret, the inappropriateness of it all. Niall had never known he would have wanted something like this, and he didn’t anymore now, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t been exciting.

The older man came with a moan, releasing inside of Niall, his knot immediately going back down because Niall was already knocked up anyways. His stomach still felt a lot tighter after Liam had cum inside him, the older man breathing heavily into his sweaty neck, pressing a few shivery kisses against his skin as he came down from his orgasm, not pulling out just yet.

Niall had been SO damn close when Liam had come, but it hadn’t been enough, and he almost wanted to groan in frustration or grab a hold of himself, but there was no need to do any of that. Liam pulled out after he had grown soft, and before Niall even knew what was going on, he had sunk to his knees, spread the younger man’s arse cheeks and buried his head in between them.

“ _Fuck!_ ” Niall yelped, his knuckles turning white as he held on tighter to the edges of the desk as the older man was eating him out, pretty much his own cum, and just the thought of it was so dirty but so hot that Niall came within literal seconds. The scratch of the older man’s beard almost felt like a burn but in the best kinda way and it felt so fucking good as he worked Niall through it as he struggled to catch his breath. He got oversensitive pretty quickly afterwards though, weakly trying to move away from his husband’s tongue. “Li… “ 

“You okay?” Liam mumbled as he got back up to his feet, circling his arms around Niall’s stomach as he softly pulled him up straight and back against his chest. 

“Yeah… my arms are about to fall off though… “ Niall gave back, letting out a quiet laugh as he leaned into his husband, letting his eyes fall closed for a moment. He felt kinda gross, sweaty and sticky, but it felt too good to have Liam placing kisses on his naked shoulder and up his neck before he reached his cheek. “Almost felt like old times… “

“Almost?” The older man chuckled against his skin, rubbing his palm across the younger man’s stomach, very slowly and gently and Niall could have maybe even fallen asleep had they been at home and in bed right now. 

“’cos I like it better how we’re now.” Niall explained, because back then he had constantly been worried about them and what they were and whether they wanted different things, where this would lead and if he would lose his job. It had been nerve wrecking. Sometimes life still was nerve wrecking, but not like this anymore, and not because of Liam, he was Niall’s rock and the only reason his life had turned around for the better. “I love you… “

“I love you too, baby… so damn much.” Liam whispered, kissing Niall on the lips as the younger man turned his head as far as possible. They snogged for a while, over his shoulder, not desperate anymore because the edge had been taken off, but really taking their time and just enjoying the fact that they were able to have a couple minutes for themselves.

Eventually, they had to go and get cleaned up, get dressed once more, and Niall felt very guilty putting Hazel’s carrier back into the office. She was still deep asleep, had slept through whatever sounds had escaped him, so that was completely fine, but Niall was just terrified of scarring her for life. In a year or so, they wouldn’t be able to do things like that anymore, because they’d have two babies at risk of waking up, and another one being able to walk in on them and seeing them, so that thought was kind of sad, but there was nothing to be done about it.

“Do you still have to sort out these letters?” Niall asked after they had made themselves presentable again, or something close at least, because who would really pay attention to them walking out of here anyways?

“Yeah, because a certain someone was distracting me before.” Liam joked, winking at Niall as he rolled his eyes, letting himself fall onto the couch because he felt kind of exhausted now and he had no idea how long Liam would take to get this done.

The day felt like it had been dragging on, and Niall was not surprised to see a bunch of messages on his phone as he checked. From his mother, asking him something about the twins and what size clothing Hazel was currently wearing and from Louis, sending him a bunch of things the girls had drawn and a couple of names Clara had forced him to suggest to Niall right at this second. Most of them sounded like something they should have named their horses had they been planning on buying a ranch, but at least they made Niall laughed.

Niall did fall asleep in the car on the way back home half an hour later, but he definitely did not regret it being woken by Liam kissing him, the older man having to half carry him up the stairs just so that Niall could crash again the moment he was in bed.

This had definitely been a successful day, maybe a successful week, and maybe things were finally looking up. Not counting all the times Niall had had to puke and had felt like bawling his eyes out for no reason of course. Some people would have probably argued that those things were just a part of life and that it was all butterflies and rainbows to be pregnant, so he decided to just pretend he was one of those people even if it wasn’t true.

He’d get through it though, somehow.

\-----------------------

“I don’t think we should have them sleeping in the same room. What if one of them starts crying, the other one will wake up as well.” Niall argued, and Liam had to admit he was right.

“But that room is a lot smaller than the other one. And it’s also completely at the end of the hallway.” The thing was, Liam did have enough guest rooms to turn into rooms for the kids, they just weren’t sure how to go about it. “I mean, we could have them sleep in different rooms until they’re a bit older.”

“What if we just move Hazel to that room? She’s gonna be a lot better with sleep and everything by that time. Hopefully.” Another possibility, but they were struggling to come up with a solution to all of their problems at once.

Niall was just sitting on a couch in one of the rooms, holding their daughter while Liam was walking around, thinking about where they could put what. They would have to do more work in these other rooms than in Hazel’s room, so they had decided to start planning early this time. Also because Niall’s mother was constantly sending them pictures of decoration she saw at the store, and bedding and whatever else she could find. 

It had only been a couple days since they had told her, and she was already going crazy over it. 

“We could tear down a wall.” Liam had suddenly thought about it because why the hell not? He owned the house, he could have done whatever he had wanted, he had just never seen a reason to do any of it.

“But won’t that be really expensive and a shit ton of work? And it will take ages.” Niall didn’t seem to be very on board with the idea, but the older man simply shrugged.

“No necessarily. It will be loud and there’ll be a lot of dirt. But I’d just pay someone to do all the work and get the rooms done and clean up again, we won’t have to do anything other than pick the furniture and decorate.” Maybe that would have been easier than doing it all by themselves anyways. He could have even hired a decorator, now that he thought about it.

Niall stayed quiet for a moment, focusing on Hazel because she was making noises as if she was trying to be a part of their conversation. It was super cute whenever she did things like that, and they were becoming more and more as time went on, Liam could not wait anymore for when she’d actually be able to talk, or walk, and then both. 

It was just so damn rewarding to be a parent, like all those sleepless nights and the stress, it all seemed like nothing compared to what they got having her in their lives.

“I kinda hate how we always sound like super rich people.” Was all Niall said in the end, and Liam couldn’t help but laugh.

“You mean _I_ sound like that. You never say those things.” Niall always talked and handled money as if they had to actually save.

“Because I’m not super rich.” The younger man argued before he shrugged and Liam came over to sit on the couch next to him.

“You are. We’re married.” He reminded his husband, who simply rolled his eyes and Liam grinned as he pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Also, I’m not super rich either, I just have enough to live comfortably.”

“You realize that’s exactly what a super rich person would say trying to be humble?” Niall had raised one eyebrow at him, and it only made Liam laugh more before he leaned over to kiss him on the lips this time.

It were playful kisses because they were actually in the middle of planning right now, measuring the rooms and trying to figure out this situation, but the reason why Liam managed to tear himself away from Niall in the end was because his phone was vibrating in his pocket.

He always checked immediately lately to avoid issues at work, and there were definitely a few unread emails in his inbox already, but what Liam caught his eye was rather the text message on his phone.

“What?” Niall asked, probably having seen the older man’s face falling a bit.

Liam needed a moment to answer, but even as he said it out loud and to Niall’s face, it felt kind of fake really, as if they were in the middle of a dream or something. Plus, Liam had no idea how to feel about it and maybe, just for the split of a second, he thought his husband had something to do with it, so his words came out slightly accusing.

“My dad just texted me asking if I would like to meet up with him so we can talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello :)
> 
> sorry this was a bit late, i was out for dinner with a friend and then i came home and remembered i hadnt even finished the chapter last night! i hope you enjoyed it! as you can see, the fic is now coming to an end because i am honestly running out of plot after the thing with liams dad! dont worry, in some shape or form, i will write about the twins after the birth and everything!! 
> 
> i hope youll all have a great week! ive finally finished my internships for the summer, uni is about to start and its actually my birthday tomorrow and i feel kind of old thinking about how i wrote my very first fanfiction (it was a twilight one i think haha) more than 10 years ago. thank you for all the support for so many years on here, and of course to everyone who only recently stumbled over one of my fics, i appreciate all of you! <3


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !Trigger Warning: Suicide (not explicit and not a main character)!

“What are you gonna say?” Niall was asking calmly even though he wasn’t all that calm inside. He knew Liam didn’t need him to push him right now though.

The older man didn’t answer for kind of a long time and Niall simply waited, rocking Hazel in his arms, praying she wouldn’t wake up right now because they kinda couldn’t need that. Even less than before.

“Nothing for now. We’re planning something and we’re busy.” Liam decided in the end and Niall wanted to sigh as he watched him put away his phone, but then he didn’t. 

“But you are gonna answer at some point today?” Just to check, because Niall had a feeling he knew the answer to that.

“Maybe.” The older man wasn’t looking at him, he was just leaning forward, looking at his own hands. “I mean, it’s not like I owe him an answer or anything. Also, maybe I’m busy. I mean, I AM.”

“You don’t owe him anything.” Niall agreed, but he also couldn’t just leave it at that. “I know you don’t wanna make this decision, but he kinda made it for you. Now you know he wants to talk, and not just because I was suggesting it.” 

“But does that change anything? He still waited all those years, only to send a text like this now. Out of nowhere.” Liam was shaking his head slowly, twisting his fingers and Niall wanted to reach out to make him stop, but he didn’t wanna startle their daughter. “I mean… not completely out of nowhere. But still… it’s weird.”

“This whole situation is and always was weird, Li, and it’s his fault. And you can choose not to answer and ignore it or tell him you don’t want to talk, but then it will always stay that way. You can also meet him to talk and listen to what he has to say and then still decide to walk away and never talk to him again. It doesn’t mean you’re obliged to forgive him if you say yes.” Cleary they both knew what Niall’s stand on all of this was, or he would have never gone to see Liam’s father in the first place.

“I know. And I know you want me to meet up with him.” Well, it wasn’t a secret, so there was no need for Niall to deny it or anything. Even if he felt bad, he didn’t feel bad enough to shut up.

“I want what will make you feel better. And only you can decide that.” In the end, Niall had gotten way too involved already, had started this whole thing and was the reason Liam’s father had texted him in the first place. And they both knew that, so he had decided not to get involved any further, let Liam decide his own life from this point on.

“Maybe I don’t know what would make me feel better either.” Liam decided and Niall didn’t know what to say because he knew there was nothing that could have really gotten through to the older man, nothing that could have taken this burden off of him. And Niall would never be able to understand how he really felt, what it had really been like when he had been younger. “… I think right now I’d feel better if we came up with a solution for those rooms.”

“We can do that.” Niall agreed immediately, kinda wanting to push Liam to make a decision, but then he bit the inside of his cheek. This was his husband’s decision, this was not about what Niall THOUGHT was best for him, or them. “I don’t think I want us to tear down walls, the rooms are big enough, even the smallest room.”

“But the kids will eventually figure out that the rooms differ in sizes, and what if they’ll think we love one of them less?” Oh.

“I doubt that will happen for the next 5 or 6 years, Li. I understand your worries, but… we’ve ages to figure that out. Right now it’s really just about where they sleep, they don’t even need nicely decorated rooms for a while if we don't feel like it.” On one hand, Niall wanted to get this done, on the other hand… he wanted to rest and eat cake. “Do you wanna stay in this house forever?”

“No, I don’t know… I’ve never really thought about that before. I only bought it as investment so my money wouldn’t just be lying around on the bank, I was never the type of person to get into the stock market or something… sorry, that was another rich person problem.” Liam laughed and Niall playfully rolled his eyes at him as he leaned his head back. He did reach out for Liam this time, rubbing his hand up and down his back as he held their daughter with only one arm. “Do you wanna move?”

“Not now, I just wanted to ask. I mean, it is your house, so… and it’s the nicest place I’ve ever lived in, you know that, my standards are way below this house. And I could never afford to move to a bigger pla-“

“You don’t have to afford anything, Nialler, we’re doing it together.” Liam immediately cut in, of course, making the younger man smile a bit. “It’s our money. We’re bonded and married.”

“I know that… it’s still the money YOU made.” And Niall would never see it as his, simple as that. He knew Liam knew that, maybe that’s why he just sighed. 

“We work at the same firm, I could just decide to give you a raise, it’s the same money, we’ll soon have 3 kids together, Ni. If you wanna move, we can. I don’t have to stay here, I really don’t care about this house, there’s no like, emotional ties or anything. For a long time it was just a place to sleep.” He shrugged, and Niall could have made another rich person joke, but now was not the time.

“Maybe in a few years… before they figure out their rooms are totally not equal in size. Then again… the difference is not that striking. And what place has all equal rooms?” As far as Niall could remember, his bedroom back at home had been a lot smaller than the smallest room in this house, so there was that. “The kids don’t gotta be spoiled anyways. Also, if we have any more accidents we will have to move anyways.”

“Do you want more than 3 kids?” Liam asked randomly, and Niall wanted to immediately say NO, but then he just shrugged as Liam looked at him.

“Maybe one day. I need a break after the twins, my body does, too. It’d be nice to be able to sleep for a bit as well.” Which wouldn’t happen anytime soon and they both knew it as they stared at one another before Liam moved closer until he could kiss the younger man on the mouth. 

“I’m sorry I can’t switch places with you.” He said that a lot, but it still made Niall’s heart soft because he knew the older man truly meant it.

“You have it hard enough dealing with my moods, Li, we’re probably even considering all of that.” He joked, kissing his husband again before he could protest. They both knew he was right anyways. Everyone knew that, even their friends. “So, what are we doing with those rooms?”

It wasn’t an easy decision, and Niall wasn’t sure if they really found one that day because then Hazel woke up from her nap and they had to make food and eat and there was no more talk about any of that. Also not of the text message, as much as Niall had been hoping that Liam would work this out today and get it over with, because he’d just be stressing over it the next couple days.

Niall wouldn’t put it past him to just ignore the message altogether and pretend it had never even existed. And if Liam did that, he would just have to accept that, because it wasn’t about Niall and he really needed to get over his need of trying to fix Liam’s problems for him when he couldn’t.

\----------------------------

“This is pretty fun, right? We’ve never done this before.” There kinda was a reason for that, but Liam just nodded, not really knowing what to say and Harry just laughed right into his face. “At least you can write this off as working hours if we discuss my book for a moment.”

Louis was at work, the girls were at school, Niall was hopefully at home sleeping for real this time, and Harry and Liam were on a walk with the little ones. The again, they all weren’t even that little anymore, next month, Hazel would be 5 months old and James would be 10 months and Liam had no idea where the time had gone, he was just glad they had both decided to take a nap at the same time in their strollers.

“Is there anything you wanna discuss?” Liam asked a bit absently, slowly moving the stroller back and forth even as they sat down on a bench to make sure Hazel stayed asleep. She had already had a meltdown before, but Harry, being the expert he was and apparently always getting enough sleep, had easily calmed her down. Maybe Liam should have gone on more walks with him.

“Not really. It’s coming along fine, much quicker than I thought. I’m just not sending everything over that I already have in case I’ll have another rough patch. Sorry, now you know that I’m keeping chapters from the editors, but it is what it is.” He shrugged, and Liam honestly could not have cared less. 

“You know it’s whatever, the deadlines are more like… hopeful suggestions.” No idea how else to put it, Liam had pushed Harry’s deadlines back so many times, he had stopped counting. “And you’ve been at my label for ages anyways, so… “ 

“And I’m also kind of family, so even if my books started to become rubbish, you would never be able to say that to my face.” He grinned, and Liam rolled his eyes, though they knew it was the truth. “I’m still trying my best though, no worries.”

“I wasn’t worried until you said that.” Liam joked, when really Harry could have written literal trash at this point, he had a fanbase anyways, surely people would have still bought his books. “No, but, you could have even had your books made into films, so… “

“That feels like ages ago now… I can hardly remember it. I thought you were going to kill me once you found out I only said I’d think about it so you and Niall could go on that trip together. I never planned on saying yes.” Not like Liam hadn’t already known, but it was still a surprise to just hear Harry admitting to that. “Niall was tough to crack.”

“He was… “ Liam agreed, letting out a quiet laugh as he thought about his struggles admitting his feelings to the younger man. And how wrong it had gone, when he had finally grown the balls to speak up. “Thanks for giving it your best shot.”

“I mean, it didn’t help, probably, but you’re welcome. At least you had a vacation, right?” Very true. “Is Niall still thinking about his record deal?”

“I don’t know… we’re not really talking about that, especially because of the twins and everything, life’s kind of already stressful enough, so… “ So Liam had no idea, but upon the other man bringing this up, he was overcome with fear, and the fact that his phone seemed to sometimes be burning holes into his pockets because he still hadn’t answered his father.

Well, he had answered him, but only to tell him he needed time to think about whether he wanted to meet and talk or not. Niall had never said a word or asked about it, and Liam knew he was trying hard to hold back, so he really appreciated it.

“But you’re doing great, as far as I can judge that. I’m sure you’ll be able to handle 3 kids just fine, even if they’ll be so close in age. And we’re always here to help, and I know Niall’s parents would be more than happy to watch them as well, right?” True, at least Hazel, and then each of them could take care of 1 twin, but thinking about all of this now made Liam’s head spin. Even more so when Harry continued. “And… I don’t know about the situation with your father, but… “

“Yeah, it’s, um, quite a situation.” Liam cleared his throat a bit, knowing the other man hadn’t wanted to overstep a line, but he couldn’t have known he was just pouring salt into the wound. At the same time though… Liam suddenly thought that maybe an outside view could have helped. “He… he wants to meet with me, to talk, but I don’t really know what to do… it’s added a bit of extra stress. Nothing new though, so….”

“Did you not want him to reach out?” He was asking casually, and Liam could never tell with him, if he really cared or was just trying to be nice. At the same time he was relieved because he knew Harry was never pushing anyone to an answer, other than maybe Zayn and also Louis. 

“I’m not sure what I want.” Liam admitted after a moment, but he felt the need to correct himself because it had come out very wrong. “I mean, I do in general, but not with him… I kinda keep hoping if I ignore it it’ll just go away, I know that’s stupid.”

“It’s not. But from experience I can tell you, it never goes away, it only gets worse the longer it goes on. Sorry, that’s not very encouraging.” Not at all, but Liam didn’t need encouragement anyways, he kinda wanted someone to make decisions for him and he knew Niall would have been willing to do it but then somehow, Liam did not want to burden him with it all. He kinda had already, and then had also gotten angry at him for trying to fix it and… this whole thing wasn’t great for their relationship. Not that it had gotten worse, but in the long run, Liam could see this issue always coming back up and causing tension. “All I can offer is we’ll watch Hazel if you guys need some time off for yourself to talk or something.” 

“Thank you, really, we both appreciate it. We kind of just always feel like we need to manage it ourselves, it’s like… I don’t know.” Liam let out a quick laugh, swallowing it down immediately as to not wake the kids. 

“I know. But everyone needs help, especially in situations like that. I couldn’t tell you how many times my parents or Louis’ have watched our kids. Or how many times Niall has babysat Josie after we had her, she was with him so often for a while she’d start crying when we picked her up.” Harry sounded amused now, but Liam could imagine it had been a hard time back then. Especially because they had all been so young then. “So really, anytime, just call. I’m mostly at home anyways, and I can write whenever. Or you’ll just have to push back my deadlines again.” 

“Thank you… you know those deadlines are really just to make this look professional, right? I don’t actually care when you get things done.” Because Liam knew it was his hobby, and that Harry would always get things done eventually. 

“Oh, I know, I was just trying to pretend like I take them serious.” He grinned and Liam smiled for a moment, somehow feeling better, somehow the very same.

He had to admit though, it WAS kind of nice to also spend some time alone with Harry, especially because he knew how much he and Louis had helped Niall, that they were his best friends, and now it seemed like their lives were forever somehow intertwined anyways. And Liam thought it was a good feeling, he had never had so many different people in his life, or many people at all, especially ones he could trust. 

And if he thought about it, then he really did not need his father anyways, and maybe, if he just listened to what he had to say, it actually wouldn’t matter what the outcome was, he could just give him a chance. 

A chance that he had never given Liam in return, but Liam wasn’t his father, and he never wanted to be. 

\-----------------------------

“… and look what’s that? That’s a rabbit.” Niall was flicking through the children’s book way too fast and Liam just leaned against the kitchen counter smiling as he watched his husband on the floor with their daughter, surrounded by toys. “I don’t think you’ll ever have one of those though, they’re quite pointless, sorry, love. We’ll get a dog instead, alright? They’re much cooler. Look, there’s a dog. But kind of an ugly one, I want a bigger one… with more hair.”

“I think she’s a bit young for that book.” Liam chuckled, Hazel just alternating between staring at Niall and at the book while chewing one of her toys, drooling all over it.

“She might be a genius, we’ll never know if we don’t try everything.” The younger man argued as he turned the page again and Liam laughed. 

“Which one of us would have given her a genius gene?” Not an actual question, of course, but Niall answered it as if it was.

“Two minuses makes a plus, Liam.” Niall told him all serious and whatnot, making the older man belt out a laugh that had Hazel staring at him instead. “You’re distracting her.”

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll go back to cutting vegetables, good luck with your lesson.” He joked, but he walked over anyways to ruffle his husband’s hair in passing, just to tease him a bit. 

It was raining outside and it was a Sunday, so they had just been home all day, Hazel had actually done really well at night and for the first time in forever, Liam felt energized today, as if he wouldn’t fall asleep the moment he sat down. Only after about 10 minutes.

Niall continued reading and showing Hazel books until she got too bored, then he started carrying her around, bringing her over to Liam to watch him for a bit, and when she got fussy, Niall fed her over on the couch.

They both weren’t skilled cooks, probably never would be, but they were trying their best. Mostly Liam, because he always wanted to give Niall’s breaks, and make him things he liked, he just always ended up adding way too much sugar whenever he attempted to make desserts as well. Niall always complained, telling him he had already gained weight because of the pregnancy, but he always ate every last bite, encouraging Liam to keep going.

So yeah, at least their normal meals were fairly healthy, that was something, right? And Niall deserved some treats, he was eating for three people after all. Four, considering he was still breast feeding Hazel as well.

“I’m not sure this is fully cooked… “ Liam also wasn’t sure if the food was any good, but then again, he was hungry and they had nothing else at home. Except dessert.

“There’s no meat or anything in there anyways.” Niall shrugged, his mouth full as he talked so it couldn’t have been all too bad. “I like this better than what you made the other day.”

“How was I supposed to know you hate tomatoes?” Liam chuckled, but he had felt slightly bad that day. They had ended up ordering pizza, yet again, even though Niall had told him that it was fine. The older man hadn’t wanted for him to starve though. 

“I didn’t know that either. Turns out I’ve apparently never eaten a real one until that day.” The younger man laughed and Liam joined, although maybe this was kind of sad. Their eating habits before Hazel had been trash, sometimes they still were, but at least they were fixing them now… right?

Niall talked Liam into letting him do the dishes afterwards, so Liam took care of their daughter and when it was her bedtime, they ended up watching TV in the living room while eating dessert on the couch, some random movie playing in the background. 

“This is really good, you should make that more often.” Niall was half lying down, with the plate on his chest and his legs across Liam’s lap while the older man was more than just entertained watching his husband eat. 

“You always say that.” At least when it came to desserts.

“Because you’re such a gifted baker, what else can I say, babe?” He grinned, and there was chocolate in the corner of his mouth but Liam didn’t say anything because Niall was far from being done anyways. “I love you.”

“Because I’m making you dessert?” Liam joked and Niall simply shrugged, a smirk on his face.

“Mostly. But you also have other qualities, no worries.” Niall laughed before eating more cake and Liam fondly petted his knees.

It was kind of rare that they had an early and quiet evening like this, but in general, the whole day had been really calm and nice and it was one of those days and moments where Liam realized how blessed he was to have the life he had. That he had Niall, their daughter and soon twins, a nice house and a good job, that they were all healthy and happy and it seemed ridiculous that there were things as pointless as the problem with his father that were bothering Liam to such an extent.

That was why in the morning, when Liam had woken up with the house quiet and Niall sleeping with his head on his chest, he had finally decided to figure this out.

“Hey, Ni… “ Liam started after a moment, having purposely waited to tell the younger man, because he had wanted to wrap his head around it at first as well.

“Hm?” Niall made, his mouth full and Liam had to smile as he looked at him.

“I texted my dad this morning, and we’re going to meet up and talk in two days.” He said it just how it was, trying not to make a big deal out of it, but he saw Niall’s eyes going huge in surprise.

The younger man tried to swallow way too fast, and he ended up coughing quite a bit, making the whole scene a bit dramatic as they both just waited afterwards listening whether they had woken the baby.

“You okay?” Liam was a bit worried as Niall had sat up, his eyes still a bit teary from the coughing.

“I’m good, yeah. Sorry.” Niall wiped over his mouth with the back of his hand, then he smiled as he reached out for the older man. “That’s great, Li. I’m happy you finally made a decision.”

“Me too… it was a lot less stressful than I thought.” And his father had texted back immediately, agreeing to the time and date Liam had suggested. He had been slightly worried that this would become a problem, but apparently not. “I’m like… a bit nervous, but I’m also relieved. I mean no matter what, as you said, I don’t have to forgive him, just listen to what he has to say.”

“Exactly. If you don’t wanna go alone, I can come, or I’ll wait in the car, or I’ll pick you up after, whatever you want. You can also do it all alone, whatever you prefer.” Niall was quickly making all kind of suggestions as he squeezed Liam’s knee and Liam covered his hand with his own as he thought about it. 

“I think I’ll go alone… it’s probably for the best.” Liam had no idea what to expect, but he would be fine, because at the end of the day, no matter what, he’d go home to his husband and his daughter and life would be as it had been for the past couple months. No one could take that away from him. 

“Okay. But you’ll call if anything’s wrong, right? And if you need someone to come and pick you up, I’ll come, or Zayn, if you don’t trust me to drive.” It was true, Niall’s driving had gotten better, but it still made them both nervous at times.

“I promise, Ni. But I’ll be fine, nothing he says can really make it worse, can it?” It hadn’t been supposed to come out so sad, actually, Liam had meant it in a positive way, but Niall’s face still fell a bit a before he put his plate on the coffee table to move closer.

“It’ll be fine, Li. I think this is for the best, I really do.” He stretched a bit to kiss Liam’s cheek before moving in closer and Liam wrapped both arms around him as the younger man cuddled into him. “I’m proud of you for doing this. I know it’s hard.”

“Yeah… thank you.” Liam truly meant it, he squeezed the younger man, dropped a kiss on the top of his head before leaning his cheek against him. “Also for going to talk to him, I know I was mad and all of that, but you were right… it needs to be sorted out. I just wasn’t ready to be confronted with it, but now… I think I’ll be fine. I mean… no matter what, it doesn’t change anything between us or the kids, and that’s all I care about.” 

“Nothing will ever change, Li… we’ll always have each other and I’ll always be here to support you no matter what happens. I mean, this sounds really cheesy and like not something I can promise, but I can because we’re soulmates. So I know we’ll always be together.” It was true, and also the most comforting thought ever. 

No matter what, Liam had Niall and the other way around, and in the end, that was all that was important.

“I love you.” Liam told him whole heartedly, still leaning against the younger man’s head.

“I love you too, Li.” Niall answered immediately, rubbing his hand over the other man’s arm still around him and Liam let his eyes fall closed, just for a moment, wanting to feel nothing at all except his love for Niall.

\----------------------------

Liam was more nervous than he had thought getting into his car, but he was also calmer than in his worst nightmares. Niall had put a sticky note on his steering wheel at some point without Liam noticing, and he had to smile when he read it, because it simply read _dinner will be ready when you come home :) we love you a lot xxx_. He’d be fine. Right?

They weren’t meeting at any of their firms, because Liam had not wanted to run into anybody he knew or having people talk about him and his father again, so they were going to a café. Not one of those Liam had gone to many times before, not posh or anything but a normal one for once in their lives.

He had chosen it, because he hadn’t wanted the whole mood to be weird from the beginning. Also, he had long stopped going to these expensive restaurants and dressing in mostly suits, Niall had really brought him down to earth. Sure, Liam would have gladly spend all of his money on Niall and their kids, but he knew the younger man didn’t want that.

So maybe his father thought that Liam was about to be broke upon seeing the café, but Liam honestly didn’t care.

He sat a while in the car before finally making himself get out and walk across the street. His father was probably already there because he was late, and Liam wondered whether he’d even recognize him. They hadn’t seen each other in so long that it was hard to tell.

There were a few people, and there was also music playing, which was good because Liam hadn’t wanted this to be too private and quiet, it would have only made him too nervous. He only had to look for a little bit before seeing his father, reading the newspaper at one of the tables in the back, not looking up. So Liam took a moment to watch him, his mannerisms, his facial expression, and then he got himself something to drink before getting over himself and walking up to him.

So this was it.

“Hi.” Liam tried not to make it too strange, he didn’t really stop before sitting down opposite his father, probably startling him a bit, but whatever.

“Liam. Hello.” He immediately put the newspaper away, and Liam knew he was watching him as he sat down. His name out of his father’s mouth gave Liam chills, as did sitting opposite him and seeing his face again in such a long time.

The memories did not come back to haunt Liam on an instant like he would have expected, maybe he had spent so much time thinking about it all the last few weeks, months even, that it couldn’t have possibly gotten any worse. The old wounds had all been opened already, and Liam had thought it all through and over and discussed it with Niall way too many times.

It was really time to be done with this.

“How are you?” His father asked when no one said anything for a moment, because the situation was slightly overwhelming, and so sudden as well. A couple days ago, Liam had been lying awake not knowing what to do, and now he was here, with his father out of all people.

“I’m really good, thanks… You?” Liam forced himself to ask, but he didn’t smile because as much as he knew that his father seemed to want to talk to him, he didn’t wanna make it too easy for him. And he had also not forgotten the past, he’d never be able to. 

“Me too. Thank you.” It all felt a bit formal, and Liam’s father seemed a bit stiff, Liam could see him studying his face trying to be subtle about it, but then he suddenly broke out of that, sounding like a real father for a moment. “You look so different, I can hardly believe it… I know this is inappropriate for me to say, but it’s the truth.”

“You look a lot different as well… “ Older, mostly, and they had seen each other a couple years or so ago at some family gathering, but that extended family had broken apart as well, people had died, and long story short, they had not seen each other for what felt like at least 10 years. Even if that of course wasn’t true. “… what did you want to talk about?”

Liam’s father sighed quietly at this, looking down into his half empty cup, as if he actually regretted that he had texted Liam. The fact alone that they were here talking like normal fucking people was a miracle by itself, Liam should have not been nervous about any of this.

“I think you probably already figured that out… “ He started, and of course, they both knew that. “Your husb- Niall came by my office.”

“He told me about that, yeah.” Liam nodded, just so his father knew that Niall had not done this behind his back. He kinda had, but not like that, anyways. 

“I assume he told you everything that I told him, the questions he had and my answers.” He waited for Liam to nod again before continuing. “I’ve been thinking a lot since then… obviously I’ve thought about it all for years, some times more than other times. It’s just… look, I don’t want to talk around it anymore.”

“Okay?” Liam asked, trying to take a sip from his drink so it wouldn’t look like he was about to explode with curiosity, but he promptly burned his tongue and had to pretend he hadn’t. Not the best of starts, was it?

His father waited for a moment, looking at something past Liam’s shoulder as he spoke up. It was typical for him to not look at Liam for this, so much that it almost made Liam laugh. Some things really did not change, but the first words out of his mouth did take Liam by surprise.

“I am sorry. For everything that happened.” He just said it, those words Liam had wanted to hear for so many years, all his life, and yet… there was no relief somehow. Maybe, somewhere along the road, it had stopped to matter. “For a long time I didn’t think you’d need my apology, or want it. I’m still not sure if you do, I know what I did is unforgiveable, so I don’t expect you to even acknowledge it. I just wanted you to know that I didn’t just carry on with life and never thought about it again, that I did feel remorse, especially after reading your books and re-living it all. And realizing that you have had to carry this all for so long… so I am sorry. I truly am.”

“Are you saying this because Niall told you I wanted an apology?” Liam tried to stay hard, and not let himself be sucked in because… it was true. It was unforgiveable, no matter what he said, or how he said it.

“…Yes. But it doesn’t mean it’s not the truth. I was sorry before, I just didn’t think you’d need me to say this, I was under the impression keeping out of your life completely would be best.” It was true, it had been for the best, but an apology would have still been nice. Then again… would it have really made a difference? It didn’t seem to make one right now either. “Except those few work related encounters… “

“Yeah, why did you do all of that?” Seriously, Liam already knew the answer, he just still couldn’t believe it. Now looking at his father though… it somehow felt like what he had told Niall about that was the truth.

“You run one of the most successful publishing labels in this area, Liam. I agree it wasn’t a good idea, but at the same time… we have not spoken in years, we are living completely separate lives and a few of my best people quit. It had nothing to do with you at all.” He shrugged, emptying his cup in one go and Liam didn’t know what to say. It seemed everything had already been said, and the rest he knew from Niall. What had he expected finding upon coming here?

There was silence between them, maybe both of them realizing that they actually had nothing to say to one another, that there was really nothing to be done about the past, and that it was true. They could have lived lives in different dimensions for all Liam knew.

“I just… I don’t understand.” Liam finally broke the silence, because it was the one thing he could never wrap his head around, still could not. But especially not now. “I don’t understand how we can sit here right now, and how you can be sorry, and how I’m supposed to believe anything you say. I can’t, because… it wasn’t _one_ thing, or two, or three, or thirty, it was… my entire childhood. Up until I left. And… I’ve got a daughter now. I’m a dad. And I could never… I could never even _imagine_ doing _any_ of the things you’ve done. Ever, in no situation she could get herself in.”

It was a little bit hard to hold back his tears after that, but Liam did it successfully, he did not want to cry right now, it would have been ridiculous.

Liam’s father blinked a couple times, and then he slowly nodded, seemingly to himself, and they weren’t looking at each other anymore because honestly, Liam didn’t want to, so he just stared into his coffee instead.

“I know everything I say will sound like excuses, and there really is no excuse in the world for any of it… “ He started, and yeah, he was right. “But I still want to tell you anyways, I don’t expect you to understand, but now that we’re here… I might as well say it all.”

Did Liam even want that? It was too late to think about that now.

“Your mother… she was my soulmate. I know you know what that is like, because you have Niall. And when she died so shortly after you were born… I had no idea what I was doing. And I am not saying this to hurt you right now, I am saying this all because it was how I truly felt. I didn’t want to raise you, I didn’t want to do anything at all. I was so angry, that she had died, that I was left behind, with a baby. I could have given you away, I thought about it… many times. But I felt like I owed your mother, because she was so excited about you, she knew it would take a toll on her health and yet she wanted to have you so badly… she made me promise, you know. Before she died. That I would do anything at all for you… “ 

Clearly, he had failed to keep that promise, and the silence he took felt like him acknowledging that while Liam kept staring into his cup.

“I blamed you for her death. All of your childhood, even after you left. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t turn it off. There were times… “ He swallowed and Liam felt goosebumps on his skin. “There were times when I really hated you. Because she had died so much sooner because she had you, and because I had to continue living without her because I had promised her to raise you well. And I felt guilty a lot of the time, but… only because I knew she would have hated me for what I was doing to you. I tried to distract myself with work and I am still doing that now, and as time passed… I realized I needed help, and I did go to therapy and now… there’s none of that left, of the hate. I know I was wrong, and I knew that back then, I just… couldn’t turn it off. It was all inexcusable, and still is, so I decided not to get involved in your life anymore, just stay out of it because you were thriving all by yourself, without any parent, despite your childhood. But when I met Niall and found out you were having a baby… I was so relieved. I was relieved because despite everything I did, your mother’s wish still became reality after all and for a moment I thought maybe we could fix this, and this is why I brought this box and texted you, I got a bit ahead of myself there….and I know you don’t want to hear this from me, but I’ve known her better than anybody in this world, and she would have been so proud of you, not because you’re successful, she never cared for those things. Just for managing life the way you do, the person you are even though I hardly know you. And she would’ve loved Niall, and your daughter, and however many children you’re going to have together.”

There was nothing at all Liam could have said, he wanted his father to stop talking about his mother, but at the same time, he didn’t. He wanted to have this confirmation, because yes, no matter how he twisted and turned it, his mother had loved his father, he had known her better than anybody else, so he would have to know.

“I… I don’t know what to say.” Liam finally brought out, his throat feeling rather tight, but he was still choking back those tears.

“There is nothing to say, I just wanted you to know, Liam. That’s why I asked to meet with you, for no other reason. I can never make this undone, and your mother would have hated me, she probably does, wherever she is now. But that is my own fault. And I just wanted you to know, even if I have no right to feel this way, I am happy that your life has turned out this way, that you built something for yourself and found your soulmate. And I know your children will grow up having the childhood every child deserves. The one you never got because of me.” 

He sounded so genuine, and honestly sorry, that Liam accidentally let a tear escape and he didn’t bother wiping it away. For what? Nothing seemed to matter anymore right now.

“Thanks… for saying all of that.” It was the one and only time Liam would be thanking his father and truly mean it and he knew it, they both did probably, so it did seem to mean something.

Liam had no urge to go and hug his father, or to tell him that he forgave him, because it would have been an obvious lie.

He did think about a lot of things to say or do, considered them all for way too long while there was silence between them. When he finally thought of something that felt right in this moment, he wasn’t sure who he was doing it for, for his father or maybe in memory of his mother, maybe because even though he had been trying to stay hard on the inside, he just couldn’t. 

And now he knew how Niall had felt, when he had pulled up those pictures of Hazel to show Liam’s father. Most people probably would have, Liam wasn’t a monster, and he had emotions and he could push away the memories of his childhood for a couple of hours. Fact was, his life was good, it was perfect even, and he could have not wanted anything else. Whether this would have happened had his childhood been different, he would never find out anyways. 

In that sense, he had gotten that revenge he had secretly dreamed of for so long, because it was obvious to see that his father was still suffering, that he truly was sorry, that he wasn’t happy, probably never had been again after his soulmate had died. Only now… there was no relief in knowing about this, it gave Liam absolutely nothing. In all honesty, it made him sad.

“… I don’t know what you have planned after this, but… if you have time… I could introduce you to your granddaughter.”

\-----------------------------

Niall was shocked having Liam call him to ask if it would be okay if his father came for dinner as well, obviously Niall had nothing against that, he could just barely believe it. And he was also a little bit afraid of what Liam’s father had said to Liam, he was afraid Liam would regret this, that it would all be worse than it had been before, but… it didn’t seem to be the case, at all.

It was awkward at first, Liam’s father was being very polite, very distanced, and Niall tried his best to keep a conversation rolling, did his best to get him to hold Hazel and let him know it was alright, that after all, it had been Liam’s idea. It was also obvious that Liam was still overwhelmed with this situation, but as time passed and after they had finished eating… it all seemed to get more relaxed.

Hazel didn’t cry just once, and Liam’s father was actually kind of good with her and it all didn’t really feel as if it was truly happening right now. Maybe it wasn’t, maybe this was all in Niall’s imagination.

They even had normal small-talk, about Niall’s music, about Hazel, about work-related things and random stuff and at times, it seemed more natural than whenever they hung out with Niall’s parents.

Liam’s father didn’t overstay his welcome, not at all, he picked Hazel up again one last time before he left, and none of them was close enough to hear what he said to her, but Niall assumed it was only a goodbye. 

“Thank you again for agreeing to meet up, Liam. And for listening. And the invitation, I… it was a lot more than I could have ever expected. Thank you for letting me meet her.” He also looked at Niall when he said the last part, who simply smiled, letting Liam do the talking because whatever they did moving forward, it was the older man’s decision. 

“No problem… thanks for reaching out and… you know.” Liam was clearly at a loss of words as well, but he cleared his throat in the end. “So… we’ll talk?”

“Yeah… sure.” It came out very slowly, but he smiled in the end before they all said their goodbyes and he left.

When Niall closed the door, holding Hazel with one arm, he wasn’t sure what to expect as he turned back around. 

Liam’s face was unidentifiable, he looked a bit empty, as well as confused, but not in a bad way. Niall still couldn’t really say what it was his husband was feeling at this moment. They were always connected somehow, so Niall knew it was nothing bad at least.

“… Li?” He started after a moment, after he had put Hazel on her play mat and given her a toy to keep her busy for just a second. “Do you wanna… do you wanna talk?”

“I don’t know.” The older man half whispered, and they looked at each other for quite a while, no one saying a word.

Niall was not surprised when Liam came to hug him, so suddenly and tightly that it almost hurt as he stumbled back a step before hugging the older man back just as tightly. He knew Liam was crying, could feel the slight shaking in his body as he clung to the younger man and Niall rubbed his back, knowing better than to ask what the tears were for. 

He knew it was probably everything. The memories coming back, the relief after today, the confusion, the not knowing what would happen after today, the stress and the worries hitting all at once. There was nothing Niall could have said to make it better, he also didn’t think Liam wanted cheering up now, or needed it, he just wanted to cry and let it out and all Niall had to do was hold him.

\-------------------------------

“Is it weird that I always wanted an apology and an explanation and now it hasn’t changed anything?” Liam hadn’t really spoken about it for a while, he had cried for ages in Niall’s arms, but then Hazel had needed attention and they had cleaned up and he had just silently been overthinking.

But now that they were lying in bed and the baby was asleep… Liam knew he had to talk about today or he wouldn’t get a second of sleep.

“I think it’d be weirder if it had changed anything at all… I don’t know what you talked about or what he said, but… he gave me a short version of it when I was at his office. I just… I felt bad for a moment, but he will never be able to make it up to you or make up for those years he missed in your life. From 18 to 30, that is… “ Way too long. 

“I don’t want to make up for those years, or… “ Liam broke off then, because he didn’t know how to say the next part, but he kinda had to. “I don’t know if I want him in our lives on a regular basis, or… or at all. And I think he knows that, he felt it. He knows I did what I did today out of pity and because… well, because it doesn’t really matter anymore. I got what anybody in this world dreams of and he… he has nothing. I always used to think he was so successful and whatnot, but… it was only because he tried to forget, so he worked 24/7 instead. And to a certain degree I feel bad, I don’t even wanna imagine what it would be like to lose you forever… “

“Me neither… “ Niall whispered before turning to his side and so Liam did the same so they could look at each other. “Do you regret today?”

“No, not at all. I’m glad I listened to his explanation and that we introduced him to Hazel.” Liam told him immediately because it was the truth. He reached out slowly, touching his husband’s cheek and his chin, a bit lost in thoughts as he watched his own movements. “He said a lot today… about my mom. And it’s like… I never knew her, I wish I did, but… but you know, I am kinda hoping that even if I can’t forgive him… maybe she can, wherever she is now.”

“That’s very kind of you to hope, considering everything that happened.” The younger man mumbled and Liam shrugged. 

“He said he was relieved when he met you… when he saw that I had my life figured out and that I was bonded and about to have a child, that he was happy for me, but… I think he’s relieved for himself, because he feels so guilty, not because of what he did, but… because he broke all those promises to my mother. He thought he had messed me up forever, and he was relieved to see he hadn’t.” And Liam had no idea how he could live with himself each and every day, if he was being quite honest. If he really felt as much remorse as he said. “He said my mother made him promise before he died, that he would do anything for me… that’s the only reason he didn’t give me away.”

Niall clearly didn’t know what to answer, he caught Liam’s hand in the movement, keeping his palm pressed against his cheek. “Li… I’m so sorry. For it all. I wish none of this would have happened, I wish he would have done what was best for you, maybe that was giving you away or… I don’t know. I really don’t. But I am so proud of you, and I am so happy we found each other and that we made our own little family. We both don’t know your mom, but… I’m sure she’s really proud of you too.”

“Thank you, Nialler… I hope so. But in the end… everything that happened got me right here with you, and I would never trade that for anything in the world.” Liam told him before closing that small gap between them to kiss Niall passionately, moving his hand down to the younger man’s stomach as they made out. 

Liam had never felt this light in his life, no more worries in the back of his mind, pure relief and happiness as he and Niall made love to each other.

\------------------------------

The following days seemed to fly by, they had doctor’s appointments, shopping trips and discussions about the rooms and the birth and the babies, names and all that stuff, so there really was not a lot of time to relax.

Their friends watched Hazel a few times, but Liam already felt a lot more energized after he had finally gotten the thing with his father out of the way. He had not texted his father since then, or received a message from him, but he also would have not known what to say. Everyone seemed to notice though that both he and Niall were a lot more cheerful as well as less exhausted, and Liam only now realized how much of a toll it had taken on him, and their relationship. Even things at work as well as Liam’s writing seemed to be going better than any time before.

Maybe he would be able to let his father into their lives at some point, at least let him see the kids once a while, but at the same time… Liam somehow couldn’t do it. It was a lot easier said than done, because the memories were so vivid and prominent and even now… he knew that most of all, his father had wanted to meet for selfish reasons, to relief himself of that burden, say sorry and see for himself that Liam was happy.

Christmas was also coming closer, it was getting colder and Niall found a new love for baking Christmas cookies and cinnamon rolls. Or making Liam bake them while he was playing with Hazel and licking all of the spoons and bowls as well as eating 3/4 of the finished product. Liam honestly loved nothing more than those days, just them being at home, baking, playing, talking. 

It was heaven.

“I think we probably don’t even need to get her anything, she’ll be happy just playing with the paper.” Niall finally said what they were both thinking after having spent way too long in the baby section. “Like… who cares? She’s a baby, she doesn’t need presents.”

“Maybe one thing, for a picture.” Liam suggested, and Hazel made some kinda sound from her stroller as if she agreed, making them both laugh. “Okay, baby girl, if you could pick one gift, what would it be, hm?”

“Probably a phone, if she smashes one of ours on the floor one more time we can just gift each other that for Christmas instead.” Niall sighed as Liam chuckled, briefly reaching into the stroller to stroke Hazel’s head. “We have to get something for the girls though… and James. And our friends. And my parents… god, Christmas was a lot easier when I was broke and no one expected anything. Who would’ve thought?”

“I think buying presents is fun, if I know what the other person really wants or needs.” Liam shrugged, but he had to admit, he also had some trouble this year. He and Niall had made a no gift rule, a very serious one this time, with a handshake and promises and everything.

Liam really hoped his husband was keeping to it, because this time, he really had nothing at all to offer except a kiss and a hug.

“I’ve no idea what any of them wants or needs. Except Clara and Josie maybe. Every single toy in the next aisle.” Very true.

It took a lot longer than expected, and even Liam’s feet were hurting once they were finally back in the car, having bought a lot more than planned, because… gifting multiple things to one person meant the chances of them liking ONE thing was a lot higher. At least that was Liam’s logic, Niall called it a rich people rule.

“I’m really hungry, we should- oh wait.” Liam had been about to suggest they should eat on the way home, but his phone was ringing before he was able to put on his seatbelt. An unknown number. “Hello?”

“Is this… Liam Payne?” The voice was unfamiliar and Liam watched Niall looking up restaurants on his own phone in the passenger seat, so he was hoping this was not work-related and wouldn’t take ages.

“Yes. Who am I speaking to?” He asked, getting his seatbelt on with one hand to save time later. It was also getting colder in the car without a heating on. 

“You are listed as the emergency contact for your father, Geoff Payne.” Wait…

“I- wait, what? Did anything happen to him?” Liam felt himself freeze and he could tell Niall was immediately staring at him.

“Are you at home? Do you have anyone with you?” The voice asked, suddenly sounding concerned, and Liam’s heart was beating a lot faster all of a sudden.

“No, I- I’m not at home, but- my husband is next to me, I… what happened?” Liam heard himself ask, but the answer sounded as if he was under water or something.

“I’m really sorry to inform you that your father has passed away a couple of hours ago.”

The rest of the conversation was a blur, the woman on the phone gave him all kinda information, but Liam was barely listening and then she had already hung up.

“Liam? What happened?” Niall asked, squeezing his arm, but Liam barely felt it, he just managed to get out the necessary amount of words.

“He’s dead. My dad. He… died.” 

\-------------------------

“Li, I… “ Niall didn’t know what to say, or think, he was just staring at Liam, who was staring out of the window, not moving. “I’m so sorry.”

There was silence between them, a million questions in Niall’s mind when the older man suddenly turned his head. “Why are you sorry?”

“Because he… he died.” Niall told him slowly, not sure what Liam was thinking right now, because… what?! Not even a week ago he had met up with his father, he had met Hazel and now… he was gone. Just like that. And Niall had no idea why. “Liam… are you okay?”

“No, I… I don’t know. Maybe. I mean… I’m not sad. Why am I not sad?” He was truly asking Niall this question right now, he also didn’t LOOK sad or distressed, but the younger man knew it could have been the shock.

“Maybe because it hasn’t sunk in yet, maybe-“

“No. It’s not that, I… “ He broke off, lost in thoughts, and Niall grabbed a hold of his hand, a little bit afraid of Liam’s emotional state right now, so when the older man looked at him as if he had had a realization, Niall got even more scared. “What did he say to Hazel? When he picked her up before he left?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t hear it, it was really short. He probably said goodbye. Wh-“

“He said goodbye.” Liam repeated, and Niall blinked, needing a moment to understand why. Oh. “It’s not a coincidence this happened so shortly after we talked… he did this. He had it planned.”

“Liam, what- what did they tell you on the phone?” No idea, but Niall already knew that Liam was right, and it gave him chills.

“Nothing, the woman said I could come to say one last goodbye or something, I- she thought I was about to have a mental breakdown, so she didn’t tell me any details… “ Probably for the best in any other case, but of course this woman didn’t know of the nature of their relationship.

“Li, if you wanna go to the hospital, then… then I should be the one driving.” Was all Niall could think of right now, and it didn’t seem very appropriate to say at all, but he was so shocked himself, he had no comforting words to offer. And it also didn’t feel like Liam needed them.

“I’m fine driving, Ni, the streets are icy.” Liam reminded him, already sounding a lot more collected than the younger man. “You don’t have to come, I can-“

“Of course I’m coming.” Niall interrupted immediately, honestly about to pass out.

It was a very short drive, they barely talked, and Niall felt so weird going in there with a baby, only minutes later, to talk about… about why Liam’s father had died. Only days after he had come over. What was even happening in their lives?

It took a while, until they had cleared everything up, and Liam had shown his ID to confirm he really was who he said, and then finally, they were being asked to a private room with a doctor, who had apparently been the one trying to save Liam’s father last night. 

“Please, take a seat.” He sounded very emotional, more so than they felt, throwing glances at Hazel, who was sleeping in her carrier. “I’m very sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you. We… we’ve not talked in years, so.” Liam was probably trying to take the seriousness away, but it came out a bit careless. “What happened?”

“Your father took a wide array of pills and other toxins, he… he called the ambulance himself.” The man explained, very slowly, and carefully.

“He wanted to kill himself and… he changed his mind last minute?” Niall asked, swallowing hard because that would have changed the situation quite a bit.

“No.” The doctor told him in a weird voice, clearing his throat. “On the phone… he said he wanted to make sure we knew it was his wish to die and… so his body would be found immediately. Of course we did everything in our power to save him, but he had taken a list of medication and drugs that in combination was just… deadly. When the ambulance arrived it was almost too late to even bring him here alive.”

“Did he… did he do it at his house?” Liam asked, and Niall couldn’t even open his mouth anymore.

“No.” The doctor told him, clearing his throat again, and not answering immediately. It was obvious this case had gotten to him in some way, he seemed rather young as well. “The cemetery.”

No one said anything to that, because they both knew why and where it had happened.

“Mr. Payne… if you need assistance, we have excellent psychologists here, or numbers we could give you to-“

“I’m okay. Thank you… “ Liam interrupted him before rubbing his hands over his face and Niall reached over to rub his back, surprised when Liam continued. “Can I… can I see him?”

The doctor seemed surprised as well, but he agreed immediately. Niall stayed in the hallway with Hazel during this, not knowing anymore where his life was even going, or why these things were happening. Could they not have one week without another bombshell dropping on them? To be fair… they both hardly knew Liam’s father, but it was still… a traumatic event.

When Liam came back, he was carrying a plastic bag, and Niall knew it were the things they had found Liam’s father with. It surprised him that the older man had taken it with him, but then again… not at all.

“You okay?” Niall asked, worried as he looked at his husband who kissed his forehead, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“I’m not sure. But I won’t freak out, don’t worry.” Liam promised, and he sounded very genuine, as if he truly meant it and had it fully together. Niall wasn’t so sure himself. “Let’s go home.”

They still ate of course, but much later, and they also ordered something instead of eating out, because that would have been highly inappropriate. And then they talked, half the night long, about everything and anything. Neither of them shed a tear, Niall knew Liam felt guilty for it, but at the same time… his father had been related to him, but he had never been a father to him, and at the very least, they had talked it out and tried their best and they both knew why he had done it, there were no open questions, no mysteries. As sad as it was, the timing was… understandable. 

That night, Niall held Liam a little bit tighter than usually, and went to check on Hazel a few too many times, just to make sure his family was here and well. He had never been more grateful for them than in this moment, and he decided it was something he could never again take for granted.

\--------------------------

No one came to the funeral except employees, strangers and Niall, Liam and Zayn. It was short, not emotional at all, and almost felt like a business meeting. Liam had arranged for his father to be buried in the same grave as his mother, it had taken him some time to come to terms with that himself, but it was the last thing he could have done.

It had also been his father’s last wish, written in a note folded in his jeans in the plastic bag they had given Liam at the hospital. Liam would have not been able to live with himself had he not fulfilled it, even if he would now always read both of their names coming to the cemetery.

“I hope he can find his peace now… all those years he just wanted to go and he couldn’t because he thought he had to make it up to her what he did to me.” Liam mumbled, him and Niall alone in front of the grave after it was over, holding hands. Hazel was with Harry and Louis of course, and Zayn had hugged them both really tightly before he had left. “I wonder if he’d still be alive if I had never agreed to meet with him.”

“Li, it’s not your fault that he-“

“I know, that’s not what I mean, I just… if I had known that was all he wanted or needed… I would have agreed to meet up sooner. Not because I wanted him to die, just… if he was suffering that much my whole life… he was a shit father, but I wouldn’t want anybody to have to live that long when they wanna end it so badly.” Liam shrugged, squeezing Niall’s hand. “Maybe now he’s with my mother again.”

“Maybe… “ Niall agreed before kissing Liam on the cheek. “I love you… “

“I love you too, Nialler.” It seemed inappropriate, but then again, not at all. No one was here besides them anyways, and the past week had been pretty crazy and Liam was really praying that now they could also have their peace.

It was about time.

\-------------------------------

Liam was the only heir to all of his father’s possessions, his firm, his house, his car, his money, his two apartments in other cities he had never known about, a boat at some harbor by the coast and apparently a chinchilla that had lived in the shelter while the court had fulfilled his father’s last will. Liam suggested giving the chinchilla to Josie and Clara as Christmas present, as a joke, and Louis had almost choked on his water. 

It turned out then that Zayn loved chinchillas and took it in, and the situation was so ridiculous that Liam and Niall couldn’t really think to do anything but laugh at some point when their friend came to pick up the pet. It also become obvious very soon that their friends and Niall’s parents as well as Liam’s employees would be getting more expensive gifts for Christmas than any of them had expected.

“I’ve not been in here for so long… he didn’t change anything at all.” Liam felt weird coming to this house after so many years, with his husband, around the time of year he had left for good so many years ago. “I kinda just wanna sell it with everything still in it and not look through anything.”

“Do you still have things here?” Niall asked as he looked around, and Liam simply shrugged. He was pretty sure his father had thrown it all out.

They spent a couple minutes just wandering around, randomly looking through things, and Liam was busy looking at a picture of his mother on the wall when Niall called him from upstairs.

“Li… come here.” His voice sounded weird, so Liam hurried up the creaking stairs, his heart bumping fast as he realized where he was going. His old room. 

At first, nothing looked different, posters still on the wall, the same bedsheets still on, but then… 

The carpet was gone, and instead, things had been piled up in the middle of the room, in selected piles, one consisting of books, one of stacks of letters, with post its labelling what was what, and apparently, also for whom.

“He wrote a book. For Hazel.” Niall sounded really shocked as he flipped through it, a children’s book. Neither of them had any idea when his father had had the time to do all of this, hire someone to do the drawings and whatnot.

Or for how long he had planned to leave soon, because it must have been months.

“He wrote one for you too, Li… “ The younger man continued as he kept looking at the things. “And these are all happy birthday cards, he must have written them all just a while ago… for Hazel, each year, until she turns 18. And- what’s in there?”

Liam had only been listening with one ear, because he had found a box, also filled with letters, but most of them had been opened. His hands were shaking a bit as he realized what they were.

“Letters. Cards. From my mother… for me. He never gave them to me, he… read them all, and kept them for himself….She must have written them while she was pregnant with me and knew she would die... There are only two unopened ones.” Liam explained, his voice sounding a bit empty. The letters were addressed, one read Liam, and one Niall. “I assume he wrote those two for us.”

“Do you not wanna read any of it?” The younger man asked after a moment, after Liam had not moved for kind of a long time.

“… no. Let’s just pack this stuff up. I’ll… I’ll hire someone to clear this house or something.” He decided in the end, because his emotions were all over the place right now, and he really wanted to just leave.

Niall agreed silently, and they worked quickly to get out of there as soon as possible. Liam knew that the younger man could feel his tension, but once he had finally turned off the lights and pulled that front door closed behind himself, for the very last time, and Niall linked their fingers together, offering a warm smile as their eyes met, he could finally release that breath he had had no idea he had still been holding. For god knows how long.

He would read those letters, and they’d go through this stuff when the time was right, but right now, Liam only wanted one thing.

“Let’s go pick up Hazel and just go home… and let’s get some cheesecake on the way or something before it gets dark.” Liam really needed SOMETHING.

“This is why I married you.” Niall joked, probably to lighten the mood and Liam laughed as he leaned in to kiss him, still on the porch. The very porch he had sat on so many times, not knowing how he’d ever figure his life out, how he’d ever get out of this shithole.

It felt pretty damn good to be walking back to the car, hand in hand with his husband, knowing that somehow, after hitting every obstacle that could have possibly been lying in their way even before they had even met, they had made it this far. And now there was nothing left that could have thrown them off track because they both knew, and had confirmation, that they could make it through absolutely anything in this life together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello :)
> 
> this was the last normal chapter, as everything is cleared up now (finally), the last chapter will be a future chapter because i just love those :) regarding liams dad i just wanted to say this... i thought long and hard what to do with him, and how to let this end. i didnt want him to be all evil and to have just mistreated liam because he was evil, no one is just that. but at the same time, i could not see liam forgive him ever, or for them to have a normal relationship, especially around the kids. and even if they could have had that, liams father was suffering from losing his soulmate, because its an ABO universe, losing a soulmate is the hardest thing that can happen to a person, because they KNOW they will never find love again. so for me to let liams father go, it felt like the best option, for everyone involved, but mostly for him. i hope this did not trigger anyone, and that you all saw the warning at the beginning of the chapter!! it was not my intention to glorify what he did or imply that therapy does not work, this is a fantasy world and by losing his soulmate, he literally lost a part of his soul. obviously not everyone reacts that way, also not in this world, but people are different and liams father was carrying a load of guilt on top of it all, i did not want this to look like a careless decision, i simply felt like it was all boiling down to that. of course people can forgive, and redeem themselves, and get better and turn their lives around no matter at what age, but i still think people are free to decide over their own lives. and in this case... i honestly felt like it was the best for him, and the most realistic outcome as well. and i also didnt want to imply niall and liam were happy over it, but they have hardly known liams father, and liam only knew his bad sides. either way, i hope its understandable why i ended it this way.
> 
> let me know your thought! i am now going to read & answer all your many comments!! thank you again as always, i appreciate it a lot <3 have a good week!


	32. Epilogue

“Happy birthday, love.“ Liam had already opened the curtains in Hazel’s room, but the girl hadn’t budged a single bit. “It’s time to wake up, Haze…“

“I don’t wanna… “ The girl mumbled somewhere into her pillow as Liam sat on the edge of her bed, watching her sleep for a moment. The room was a complete chaos, there were undressed Barbies and stuffed animals and clothes and it looked like a bomb had exploded in here. “Go away… “

“C’mon, baby, don’t you wanna go and see all your presents? And the cake daddy made you?” The cake was kinda crazy, Niall had truly pulled out all of his skills to get it made and Liam still didn’t know how he had done that with the twins _helping_ the entire time. 

“No… “ Hazel whined, pulling a stuffed bear over her head and Liam sighed, trying not to comment on the mess in this room because it was her birthday. They had had a deal though, for her to keep it clean because she’d be getting new toys on her birthday and where would they put those now if they first had to clean?

Sometimes, Liam still wished someone would come and teach him some parenting tricks, because even after 6 years, it seemed he never fully learned.

“What happened to your room last night, hm?” Liam couldn’t help it as he stroked the girls hair until she turned away from him.

“Don’t know… maybe it was- maybe I’m sleepwalking… “ Hazel told him and the man suppressed a sigh, deciding that he had waited long enough. 

“Alright, then, missy. I’ll give you one more minute, okay?” He asked, leaning over the girl, who squirmed a bit in an attempt to wind out of his arms. “Otherwise I’m afraid I might have to give you good morning tickles.”

“Nooo, I’m already awake!” Hazel had sat up on an instant as Liam laughed, her hair looking all messy and her eyes small from sleeping and it seemed as if she’d just about pass out again in a second. “Why can’t I sleep in when it’s my birthday, daddy?”

“Oh, you did sleep in, love. Daddy and I have been awake for hours already.” Or something like that at least. 

Liam had been up doing some work from home and Niall had used the quiet time in the house to write a bit for a new song. Needless to say, that quiet time had lasted for a maximum of one hour before SOMEONE of the three kids had woken up.

Thankfully so far they had never gotten that dog they had always been talking about because neither of them would have known when they would have taken care of another living being in between cleaning, cooking, doing homework and sorting fights.

Niall and Liam were a great team as parents though, and also as life partners, which was kind of a given since they were soulmates and all, but still. Liam was so grateful to have Niall by his side, through everything that had happened and for everything that was probably to come, he’d never take him for granted.

“I’ll carry you, yeah? Just because it’s your birthday.” Liam told her to get her excited, but it didn’t really seem to work that well.

Hazel just let herself fall into him basically and Liam hugged her for a moment, kissing the top of her head as he rubbed her back for a second. She was still light enough for him to carry, but it was definitely getting harder and Liam knew Niall had stopped picking the kids up long ago for that reason as well.

Which was a little bit hard because some of them still loved to be carried.

Hazel probably fell asleep again on the way downstairs although Liam tried to keep her awake by talking to her, telling her about all the fun stuff they’d be doing for her birthday. So much like they had never done before for any birthday except Niall’s, but that was just because they had had the other things planned beforehand and it really wasn’t that much for her birthday. She didn’t know that though, did she?

“There is the birthday girl!” Niall was super enthusiastic as Liam entered the kitchen with their oldest daughter, putting her down so that his husband could go and hug her as well. “Happy birthday. We all love you very much, bug.”

“Thanks, daddy… love you too.“ She was still sleepy, rubbing her eyes as Niall kissed her cheek before her siblings came over too.

“Happy birthday! I already looked at all your presents, they look so big, and look at the cake, I helped make it! Look!” As per usual, Daisy was screaming all their ears off in the early morning hours, Liam took a look at her outfit before throwing a questioning stare at Niall, who simply shook his head at him, coming over to kiss him on the lips.

“She slept in that and I had no energy to make her take it off.” He told Liam quietly and the older man simply decided not to think about their daughter wearing some Star Wars outfit. Or why she even had it, because all of their friends and family KNEW not to get Daisy costumes, she’d never wear normal clothes if they wouldn’t hide them from her.

“I helped too.” Oliver complained quietly, throwing a sad look at Niall when he got ignored by both of his sisters, who were busy staring at the cake and the pile of presents on the kitchen table. Well, not a PILE, they never gave the kids too many gifts. 

“’course you did, baby, I’m sure your sister very much appreciates it. Right, Hazel?” Niall asked her and she shrugged, but then went to hug her brother when she noticed it wasn’t enough.

“Thanks. I like the sprinkles.” Hazel told him and Liam could tell that she really could not have cared for the sprinkles, because it was a whole ass unicorn-shaped cake with edible glitter and everything. No idea how many YouTube tutorials Niall had watched for that one.

“They were my idea!” Daisy told her immediately and Oliver did not complain, so she was probably right. Then again, he usually didn’t argue with his twin sister, he was a lot more quiet than her, and Liam always wondered along with Niall and their kids’ teachers how twins could be polar opposites. “The inside is rainbow.”

“Really?!” Now Hazel’s eyes had gotten bigger as she looked at her little sister, who nodded all knowingly.

“That was supposed to be the surprise in case it turned out wrong, but okay… “ Niall whispered to Liam as he leaned into him, hugging him sideways as Liam put an arm around him, squeezing him a bit.

“She’ll live. That cake is amazing, babe.” Seriously.

“Thanks… it also took us like 3 hours. And in case you want any leftovers… the fridge is full with failed attempts.” The younger man joked, but Liam could tell it really was not a joke at all. He decided not to look into the fridge anytime soon.

“We could take it all with us, someone will eat it for sure. Unless the car is already overpacked?” It probably was, Liam couldn’t remember.

“I don’t know, you did all of that.” The younger man laughed as he lifted his head from Liam’s shoulder, kissing him on the cheek before they were both interrupted by Oliver coming to pull on Liam’s shirt, looking a bit lost while his sisters were playing a game of guessing what was in what present.

“What’s the matter, bug?” Liam asked their son, slowly letting go of his husband in favor of getting down to eye level with his son. 

“… I don’t wanna sleep in a tent tonight, daddy.” He half whispered to Liam who couldn’t help but smile fondly, ruffling his son’s hair before he stretched out his arms.

“C’mere, I’ll tell you a secret.” Liam told him while Niall distracted the girls with a “Let’s blow out those candles!”, waiting for Oliver to come close enough as he hugged him. “The tents are just for fun because your sisters and cousins wanted to do that, yeah? There is also a house next to them and you can sleep in a normal bed, okay?”

“Oh… okay.” That seemed to calm him, but only for a moment. “… but do I have to sleep in the house alone then?”

“No, love. Me and daddy are also sleeping there. And probably your uncle Harry as well.” Louis, no idea, he was unpredictable, and Zayn had gone as far as booking himself and his girlfriend a freaking cabin nearby. Liam wasn’t blaming him though, it could get crazy with 6 kids and he knew that he was nowhere near thinking about having his own. Probably for that reason. “… maybe Josie. And if you’re scared, you can always come to me and daddy, you know that, right?”

“Yeah… also if it’s really, really late?” Oliver asked and Liam had to laugh quietly as he hugged the boy close, standing up with him in his arms and just carrying him instead.

“Also if it’s really, really, super, extremely late.” Liam promised him before kissing his cheek, and the boy finally seemed to be calmed down as he wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck.

It was really funny, how different their kids were personality wise. 

Hazel being the first one, but only around 1 year older than the twins anyways, had always been kind of mature for her age and Liam was pretty sure it came mostly from her hanging out with her older cousins so much. Clara especially, they were really good friends despite the age gap, but they could definitely get up to way too much mischief together. It had really surprised everyone that after a while, Clara had really started to play big sister to Hazel when they had been younger, and she was keeping that up now, still. Liam was also still her favorite uncle, and they definitely had her over the most for sleepovers because she was old enough for that and they didn’t like letting their own kids go to other people’s houses over night that much because of their age. So it also worked out well that Hazel was especially attached to Niall.

Daisy was definitely the wild child. She wasn’t the middle child because her and Oliver were twins, but she had been born before him, so she kind of was. Funnily enough, where everyone had thought she’d be this sweet and quiet little girl, she had turned out the be the complete opposite of her twin brother, but also her older sister. Daisy knew what she wanted, at 5 years old, she had seen Niall play gigs, had been to the recording studio with him and to Liam’s firm and during that had met a few important people who she had never been shy around. She wanted to be an actress and to be famous ( _A lot more famous than daddy or uncle Harry_ ) and she could not sit still for 2 seconds. Her and James were literally attached by the hip although he was 1.5 years older than her, but she very much had him under control as well. Just like everyone else.

Oliver was very quiet, well behaved, and he was completely Liam’s baby. He was also the baby of the family, but it came mostly from the fact that when the twins had been born, Liam and Niall had somehow been forced to always each take care of one twin, and it had just so about happened that Niall had mostly been busy with the girls because they had both been so young back then, and Liam had been holding Oliver while working on his laptop with one arm more days than not. Being the youngest and a little too gentle for when the girls, Clara and James were playing a bit too rough, he took very much to Josie whenever they were all together. At first she had not been the happiest about it, but because he was so different from her own brother and would just sit still and quietly in her room, eventually, she had taken him under her wing. Also, no idea why, but Harry and Louis let her play around with Make up at home, so Oliver seemed to be a great canvas for that too.

“You have to blow them all out at once or it’s bad luck and then you will get the worst teacher at school next year.” Daisy explained to her sister, trying to be sneaky as she reached out to wipe some frosting off of the plate and she was too quick for anyone to catch her before her finger was already in her mouth. 

“I’m gonna get the best teacher.” Hazel told her, blowing the candles all out at once as her siblings cheered.

They had all sat down and Niall had tied up Hazel’s hair to keep it away from the flames. Oliver had stayed on Liam’s lap until now, and he probably would for the entire breakfast.

“Daddy, can we pleeease have the cake now? Just a tiny little piece. Please!” Daisy was begging Niall, because they all knew when it came to those kinda things, Niall had the last word. Liam would have just given in way too easily without his husband.

“Just for tasting, but then you have to eat your normal breakfast, okay? All that sugar isn’t good for you in the morning and we have a long car ride later, you’re gonna get sick if you don’t eat something proper. Sit back, Daisy.” He made her sit properly before cutting the cake while the little girl was pouting, but Niall was an expert at dealing with that.

It was a crazy morning, Daisy snuck too many bites of cake and got a little too comfortable “helping” Hazel opening her presents and Liam had to step in to avoid a fight. After breakfast Liam volunteered doing all the dishes while Niall was trying to get the kids to get dressed and their teeth brushed. He also had a bit of a fuss over Hazel’s room and Liam felt like he should have warned him, but it was too late by that point.

“I just don’t understand how it can get this messy, you know? She’s a 6-year-old girl, why’s she ripping her whole closet apart to try on clothes and model them for her stuffed animals or Barbies or whatever? In the middle of the night when she should be sleeping?” So Niall had at least gotten to the bottom of it all.

“I think maybe you should ask Clara that. They watched something on the telly, some model show, I don’t know. Louis let them watch it.” At least that’s what Hazel had told Liam the other day after he had picked her up from a playdate with Clara. Although by now they weren’t playdates anymore, because Clara was too old for that and Hazel apparently too. “Or maybe because Zayn’s girlfriend is a model, they spent lots of time with her at this party he had, she kept showing them things on her phone.”

“They did that because she grew up on a horse farm and owns several horses or something. I don’t even know anymore, honestly, I’ll deal with this room when we get home. We should just get going, we’re 45 minutes behind schedule.” Niall looked more than just stressed out, the kids were putting on their shoes, or attempting to at least, and at least the car was finally packed.

“Hey… “ Liam stopped his husband from walking over to the door as well, holding onto his hand to pull him back in. “You okay, babe? I didn’t want this day to be so stressful for you.”

“It’s not. I’m okay, Li… don’t worry, okay? I just had a short night and this stupid song- anyways, let’s just go.” Niall did offer Liam a smile, trying to pull away again, but this time, Liam kept him close so he could kiss him. “… ‘m really okay… “

“You can sleep in the car, okay? And forget about that song for a few days, you’ve worked so hard on that album lately, you need a creative break.” Liam joked, but he really meant it.

Niall had signed that deal after all, when Hazel had been 3 years old and they had been busy as ever, but somehow it had all worked out, he had brought out an album and built kind of a social media presence. He had even once travelled to do some gig on the other side of the country, leaving Liam alone with three kids for the very first time. Needless to say, he had been so sleep-deprived after, he had not even had the energy to get fake upset over Niall telling him someone had asked him to sign their boobs after.

Niall was still helping at the firm once a while, but he was mostly home now, taking care of the kids and focusing on his music and he was thriving, making twice as much as he had working for Liam in the beginning. They had long stopped using different bank accounts, and to say they had enough to live comfortably was… the understatement of the century.

Liam had sold his father’s properties and merged their labels together to a new one, with two headquarters. Zayn was now running his father’s old firm, after the place he had worked at had gone bankrupt. It worked out really well, because they didn’t have to communicate that much, because even though they were like brothers, they weren’t suited to be working partners as the past had taught them.

Liam did home office as often as he could, he had hired a bunch of new people and had trained them for once to make sure they were running the label well without his presence. He did have his weekly meetings and catch ups with employees to make sure things were going smoothly. All those years back, when things had been so messy, Liam had really learned his lesson.

Now though, he was mostly writing his own books that he had started while Niall had been pregnant with Hazel, a series of children’s books that their kids actually loved and that was going really well. Liam had looked up the illustrator that his father had once used, years ago when he had written this book for Hazel, and the one for Liam. They had both been children’s books, and at first Liam had not gotten the purpose of his father writing him a book like that, when he had been 30 at the time, but after reading it as well as the letter, he had gotten it.

It had been another apology, for stealing Liam’s childhood, doing what he had done, and it had been his last goodbye. Liam had cried reading that letter and the book, the letters from his mother, all those birthday and Christmas cards, so much that he and Niall hadn’t slept for half the night. His father had never been that for him, but in the end, Liam had known in his heart it was only right to forgive him.

So he had, even though he had already been gone by that time.

He had also read the letter his father had written to Niall, and though a lot less emotional, it had still been a lot. He had thanked Niall a lot of times in that letter, for being by Liam’s side, attempting (and hopefully having succeeded) to fix whatever had been left of the trauma of the older man’s childhood. How grateful he was to know he could leave now that Liam was in good hands, something his mother had always wished for. Probably still did.

Their lives were very different now compared to those 5-something years ago. They had moved to a different house, Niall was now an excellent driver, their work schedules were all over the place and the kids were definitely a handful.

And still, Liam could have never wished for anything else in this life.

“Not sure if I’ll be able to sleep with those three rascals in the back… but I can need a creative break. Did you pack the card?” Niall asked Liam after they had pulled apart, and Liam just stared at him, no idea what he meant. “For Hazel. From your dad.”

“Oh, yeah, last night already.” They never gave it to her in front of the kids, and had really only done it properly last year when she had been old enough to understand. She could read it herself now, but they didn’t want the twins to start asking questions as to why they never got a card like that. “Time really flies, huh? We almost gave her half the cards already.”

“Not even close, Li. We got 12 left.” Niall laughed, squeezing Liam’s hand and kissing his cheek again before letting go. “We should stop at some drive-thru on the way… or I’m gonna starve. I’ll just have the car deep cleaned next week, I can’t be bothered to clean the back again after they’ve eaten in it.”

“Funny how you would have gotten mad at me for staying stuff like this a few years ago. Remember when you told me to stop with all my rich-people talk? I still don’t know what that is.” Liam grinned as the younger man rolled his eyes at him, playfully.

“That is because you’ve been rich for too long.” Niall explained, shrugging. “But I can’t help it that I’m now a popstar, Li. A million followers on Instagram, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Maybe we should both quit our jobs, and become family vloggers. You could put a zero to that follower count.” Liam suggested as a joke, but Niall immediately looked shocked.

“They have too many scandals these people. And no talent. Not like us.” He shrugged, but then he grinned when Liam almost thought he had been serious.

“Selling yourself and your family online like that takes talent too, maybe-“

“NO, STOP IT!” Well, and that was where their conversation ended and Daisy got a boot on her head for continuously pulling on her sister’s braid.

That would be a fun, one hour long, car ride. 

\-----------------------

Hazel was very excited that it was her birthday, but not so much that she had to sit in the car for so long today. She had only gotten to take one present along on the trip, because her daddies had said the car was already full and that she’d get presents from her uncles and cousins once they had arrived as well.

And the biggest present of it all was the trip. Only, Hazel wasn’t so sure if it was really for her birthday or not, but as long as she got to play with her cousins, and mostly Clara, she would still have fun. And they’d even get to sleep in a TENT. A real one.

“When are we gonna be there, I don’t wanna sit anymore.” Daisy was complaining as usual, throwing her head back to whine and kicking the seat in front of her with her boots.

“It’s gonna take even longer if you keep kicking your dad’s seat, Daisy. I told you a million times not to do that.” Their daddy told her off and Hazel was secretly happy about it. “Sit properly. We’ll be there in half an hour.”

Her little sister could be such a baby sometimes, but then she always wanted everyone to treat her like she was their age. Like last time when Clara had come over for a sleepover with Hazel, Daisy had been in her room the entire time asking all those questions about middle school and boys and it had been so embarrassing for Hazel.

Also, boys were kinda gross. Except Oliver, he was alright, he had fallen asleep ages ago as well next to her, but he was her little brother, so Hazel had to love him either way.

“I don’t know how long half an hour is.” Daisy whispered to her sister, who sighed a bit. Did she know anything?

“Thirty minutes.” Hazel told her, feeling very proud of herself. She had already learned so much at school, and she was the best in her class as well.

“And how long is a minute?” Her sister kept asking.

“You have to count to sixty. And then you have to do that thirty times. And then we’ll be there.” Hazel explained to her, or tried to, at least.

Daisy just looked at her for a little bit, and then she shrugged. “I can only count to twenty.”

“I can count to one thousand.” Maybe Hazel liked bragging to her little sister sometimes, and today was her birthday, so she was allowed to do that. Right?

“So? If I can’t, I won’t have to do maths yet, so I’m happy I can’t do it. An actress doesn’t even need maths.” Now Hazel wanted to roll her eyes, but then she didn’t. She knew it wasn’t nice, and her daddies always said her siblings were like her best friends, they’d always have each other and most of the time, Hazel loved her brother and sister, it’s just, sometimes… “What are you gonna be when you grow up? 

“I don’t know. Maybe a teacher.” Uncle Louis seemed to like being a teacher, and he was always home all summer long. “Or a model.” 

“Maybe I’ll be an actress AND a model.” Daisy always wanted everything Hazel had, so she wasn’t even getting upset anymore. “Aunty Gigi said I could be one.”

“She’s not our aunt, we only saw her two times.” Hazel had no idea how any of this worked, she was confused because all her friends had cousins and uncles and aunts and grandparents, but they were all related to them. She only knew she had 3 uncles, and three cousins, and one granny and grandpa. But one of her daddies wasn’t even related to any of them.

Hazel did know that his mommy and daddy had died, and every year she got a birthday card that her grandpa had written for her, which was really special because none of her siblings got one. It was because she had met him when she had been really little, her parents had told her. They had also visited the place where her daddy’s parents were under the earth, just her and her daddy, because Hazel had been asking a lot of questions about that. Her daddy had told her though, that they weren’t really under the earth but somewhere where they just couldn’t see them, so it wasn’t as scary anymore.

Still, Hazel never wanted her own daddies to go there.

“But maybe she will be. She’s sooo pretty. I want her to be.” Now Daisy was daydreaming about being a model as well while Hazel was busy brushing her new Barbie’s hair, thinking about what she and Clara could be doing together later and how they’d get rid of the little ones.

It was a very long drive, everyone fell asleep except Hazel and her daddy driving and he let her listen to her other daddies songs on the radio. Hazel had always liked her parents doing such cool things as a job, other parents were doing boring things, but her daddy had written books that everyone at school knew and her other daddy had songs on the RADIO.

No one could ever be as great as her daddies.

When they arrived, they all had to wait to be let out of their car seats, they were able to do it themselves, but their daddies didn’t like them just jumping out of the car like that. Of course Hazel would have been responsible, but her little siblings couldn’t be.

“Hi! Happy birthday, pumpkin!” Uncle Louis was the first one to come over and he ruffled her hair a bit too much, probably making her braid go loose. Hazel didn’t say anything though, she knew it would have been rude, and daddy would surely redo her hair after. “Sucks taking such a long drive on your birthday, huh?”

“Lou… “ Her daddy threw in, but they both ignored him.

“It was okay. Everyone was asleep except me and daddy.” And they also all still looked very sleepy, but Hazel was really excited to be here.

They had been camping a while ago, but not all together and it would be so much fun and she couldn’t wait.

“I was asleep as well. Your uncle Harry only let me sleep for like 5 minutes though.” He laughed and Hazel wasn’t sure if it was funny or not. “Anyways, the kids and the others are already inside. And Josie is already locked up in her room with her phone. Fun times. As per usual.”

“Does she even have a signal here? Because I don’t.” Hazel’s dad complained and she decided quickly to get her backpack from the back of the car and go inside as well because those adult conversations were always so boring.

“I’m sure my 12-year-old will let you borrow her phone so you can update your Instagram or TikTok or whatever all those popstars use.” Was the last thing Hazel heard before running inside, and maybe her dad saying something like “I’ve never used TikTok in my entire life, I’m past the age of 15”, but Hazel had no idea what any of that meant.

Everything she knew about technology, she knew from Clara.

“Hi, Haze! Happy birthday.” Clara came to hug her immediately before Hazel could say hi to everyone else. She loved her uncles and cousins and everyone, but she also wasn’t like her sister, who was always so hyper and loud and talking to everyone, so she really didn’t care so much for staying in here for too long. “There’s a really cool treehouse outside, we should go there before everyone else finds it.”

Hazel was more than okay with that idea, and they did tell uncle Zayn where they were before running off, making sure to pull up the ladder afterwards so that the little ones couldn’t follow them. Clara had snuck her dad’s iPad up to the treehouse as well, and if they played on that for way too long, then at least Hazel wouldn’t get yelled at later because it was her birthday.

And also because she would have never dared to take her own daddies’ things.

\------------------------------------

“Where is your sister now?” Daisy shrugged when her daddy asked, she was more busy looking at the stones in the driveway and collecting the prettiest ones while her daddies were unloading the car. “Love, there is dirt on the ground.”

“I’m not eating it. I need the stones. For a project.” She explained, pushing her hair back as it got in her face. “I’m gonna make a necklace.”

“Alright, but please don’t touch your face anymore, your fingers are full of dirt. Can you take your backpack, please?” Her daddy was still mad at her because she had been kicking her dad’s seat in the car, but what else had there been to do in the car? 

“Ugh.” Daisy sighed, but she did take her backpack, having quickly stuffed all of the stones into her pocket. “Can we go and build the tents now?”

“Later, we have to unpack, okay? Aren’t you hungry?” Now that he had said that… “C’mon, let’s go inside and say hi. Maybe we’ll find your sister.”

Her other dad and Oliver had already gone into the big house, and Daisy walked so slowly that she was the last one to enter. She had had a lot of energy before, but now she was starting to feel like this vacation could be really boring. At least James was here as well, but lately he had been getting a bit on Daisy’s nerves because he always thought he was so cool and everything just because he was about to turn seven on his next birthday.

Daisy really wished she could have been seven already as well. Or twelve, like Josie. Or maybe even older, then her daddies wouldn’t always tell her to do boring things like practice reading and counting.

“Hi, love. What are you pulling that face for?” Uncle Zayn had come to keep her company as she had sat on the floor in the entrance hall to untie her shoe laces, taking extra long. 

“The car ride was boring and we only got to eat half a piece of cake.” She told him, and then she just gave up trying to get her shoes to open. “And I can’t do this, daddy did them too tightly.”

“I’ll help.” He offered, sitting down with her and placing her foot on his knee. “Why’d you only get to eat half a piece?”

“Because daddy said sugar will make us sick in the car.” Daisy was super sure she would have not gotten sick at all.

“Hmm… which one of your daddies?” Uncle Zayn asked and Daisy knew it was confusing sometimes, but luckily she was one of the only kids in her kindergarten class who also knew that her dads had real names too. It helped that one of her dad’s name was written on some of her books, that she could almost read alone, and the other one on a CD that they had at home.

“Niall.” She told him, it sounded super weird to call him that or hear other people call him that, especially her other daddy.

“Should I tell you a secret?” The man asked with a smile after having untied both of her shoes, and Daisy nodded eagerly, because of COURSE she wanted to know a secret. “When your daddies just met, your dad, Liam, would never eat any sugar at all, because he thought it was really unhealthy. But then your other daddy would always bring lots of sweets to work and eat cupcakes right in front of your dad.”

“What?! At work?” Her own dad?! Who always told her she could only have ONE cookie?! And now that she was hearing this… “… last year for Halloween, when I woke up the next day, my bucket was only half full anymore. And my daddy said it’s not true… maybe he ate all of it.”

“Maybe, Next time you know for sure who the thief was.” Uncle Zayn told her with a very serious face and Daisy could NOT believe it. So both her daddies DID eat sweets as well, only in secret. “I have to say though, I’ve gotten sick before eating sweets in the car, so maybe your dad is right about that one.”

“But I wouldn’t have, I eat lots of sweets, I never, ever, get sick of them.” Only very energized, which her daddies didn’t like. And then Daisy could never sleep, but it was just because she had so many ideas and so many things to do before bedtime. Every night.

“’m sure you’ll get some more cake later. I wanna taste it as well, your dad sent me a picture of it and it’s the coolest cake I’ve ever seen. Did you help make it?” So then of course Daisy had to tell him all about that, and then she did tell him in the end that Oliver had helped too, only because she felt a little bit bad.

Oliver was sleeping somewhere on her daddy’s lap and Daisy went to find them after a while, climbing on the couch next to her dad. Somehow she was feeling a bit sleepy too all of a sudden, and she hadn’t even found James yet because the house was so big and everyone was so busy.

“You, alright, bug?” Her dad ask, pushing hair out of her face before rubbing over her forehead with his thumb. “Where’s that dirt from?”

“I don’t know.” Daisy told him, but then she quickly decided to tell him anyways. “I was collecting stones outside for a necklace and then I touched my face. Daddy said I shouldn’t do that.”

“Well, your daddy is right, as always.” Not always, but Daisy just shrugged as her dad smiled at her, letting her cuddle into his side. “Do you not wanna go play?”

“No… I don’t know where James is and Hazel and Clara are gone too. And Josie is in her room… she never plays with us anymore.” She was always on her phone or doing school stuff, and if she didn’t, she’d go to the mall or to a friend’s house. “Is Hazel not gonna play with us anymore when she gets older too?”

“You’re all very close in age, love, it’s different. Josie is a lot older than all of you.” That was true, and sometimes Daisy wished that was her instead, but then at night whenever she got scared, she was glad she still fit in between her daddies in their bed. “And I think I saw James before in the kitchen, maybe you can go look for him.”

“Okay… but not now.” She kinda wanted to rest for a little bit, she was still sleepy from the car ride as well. It had surely been longer than what her dad had said in the car when she had asked. “When are we gonna build the tents?”

“I don’t know either… I’m also not sure where everyone went, I just didn’t wanna wake your brother to go after them.” Her dad told her, stroking her hair evenly and it made Daisy even sleepier. 

“Daddy?” She asked after a moment, trying not to sleep in. She had lots to do still today, she wanted to explore the whole house and the garden and build tents and find James so they could pretend play that scene from this film she had seen at school.

“Yes, love?” His voice was quiet now, or maybe it was because her eyes had already fallen closed as well.

“Can I have a pony? Like uncle Zayn’s girlfriend.” Now she knew better than to call her aunt again, but she had talked to her before and she had been super nice and now Daisy wanted to call her aunt even more.

“We have no space for a pony, love. And you’ve got lots of toy horses already.” But that wasn’t the same, but Daisy was too tired to tell her dad that.

She wasn’t sure if she really slept a lot, or at all, just a little bit, but she did hear somebody coming into the room. 

“Li, where- oh.” It was her other daddy, Daisy knew him by his voice of course. “This house is crazy, I think I’ve been looking for you for an hour.”

“We’ve not even been here for an hour, babe.” He laughed a bit, and Daisy felt it because she was lying against him, but she didn’t feel like opening her eyes right now. “But I feel like I’ve been sitting here for longer than that without moving, I really have to pee.”

“But they look like such angels when they’re sleeping. I love seeing you with the kids.” Daisy was pretty sure they kissed because she heard it, and it was really gross, but she was happy that her daddies really liked each other. Some of her friends only had 1 parent, or 2 and they lived at different houses, Daisy never wanted that to happen. “I found our third child, by the way. Clara stole Harry’s iPad and they’ve been playing on it in the treehouse.”

“I hope Hazel can talk herself out of it and blame it on Clara, I don’t feel like lecturing her today.” The couch moved next to Clara so her other daddy must have sat down as well, and she felt him running his fingers through her hair.

“That’s a horrible thing to say, but I hope the same. I let Harry handle it for now. It’s really nice to have so many adults around, someone’s always watching them… I mean, I would have expected to go on a search for this one now, but you somehow managed to tame her.” Were they talking about Daisy? She was too tired for this.

“She just came in here and told me she wants a pony and then she fell asleep as well. I hope she’s not been touching the walls in here, her fingers look like she’s been digging through mud or something.” The stroking of Daisy’s hair stopped, which she didn’t like, but she also didn’t wanna say anything, she wanted to sleep.

“She has. Outside in the parking lot. And her pockets are full of stones.” They both laughed again, very quietly though and then there was finally silence.

Or maybe Daisy fell asleep for real this time.

She did wake up a while later, and then she finally found James as well and they got to sort out her stones in the backyard while the adults were trying to figure out how to build a tent. Suddenly Daisy really did not feel like helping anymore, she had more important things to do, like, build a necklace and make James get her some cookies from the highest cupboard in the kitchen.

“Are you not gonna share?” He asked when he handed them to her, and Daisy shrugged.

“You can have half of one.” She decided in the end, grinning when he looked a bit upset. “Okay, you can have one, but only one.”

They ate in silence for a bit before making sure to get rid of all the evidence, all the crumbles and chocolate around their mouths. When they sat down again to work on Daisy’s necklace, James told her something he had found out a few days ago. “Did you know that I was named after your dad’s second name?”

“No.” She shrugged, not really caring that much for it. She had no idea what a second name even was. “But I was named after a flower because when my daddy had me and Olly, he said there was a picture of daisies in the hospital room.”

James nodded, looking thoughtful for a moment, then he looked around in the grass. “You know, it would be easier to make a necklace out of daisies than stones and a string.”

After a moment of considering it, Daisy allowed him to stop his work for her to instead make her a flower crown out of daisies. She could have that AND the necklace, right?

\-----------------------

Oliver was a bit confused when he woke up because he didn’t know where he was, but his daddy was there so it was okay. He did go with him to say hello to his uncles and cousins, but he really didn’t wanna talk a lot today, so he kept following his daddy around instead while he was trying to help build the tent. His sisters were off playing and Josie was nowhere to be seen.

“Daddy, I’m hungry.” He told him after a while of watching him reading something on a paper and then trying to put together two weird looking metal sticks. Oliver didn’t think that this would ever become a tent.

“In a few minutes, okay, love? I have to get this done before it’s dark outside.” His daddy told him and ruffled his hair, so Oliver just nodded. His other daddy was somewhere over there with uncle Louis and Oliver didn’t wanna go to them because he didn’t like adult conversations.

“I’m going to the kitchen now, I need the bathroom anyways. I’ll get you a snack if you want, Olly.” Uncle Harry told him, and Oliver really was not sure if he wanted to go with him, so he threw a look at his daddy instead.

“We’ll have something normal to eat in a little bit anyways. But you can go with uncle Harry if you want, I’ll be out here anyways.” His daddy smiled at Oliver, and he was still a bit unsure, but he did end up taking his uncle Harry’s hand to go inside with him.

Sometimes Oliver liked spending a lot of time with his uncles and his grandparents and cousins, but sometimes he really just wanted to be with his daddies, and maybe his sisters. He also didn’t like how loud the kids at his school were and that they could never be quiet when the teachers told them to. It was making Oliver a bit stressed when it was so messy.

“Building that tent is a lot harder than we thought, huh? I’m getting hungry too.” Uncle Harry told him as they went inside, and Oliver didn’t really say anything at all. He really was hungry. “What do you want? Some fruit? A sandwich? There’s so much stuff in the kitchen, we can never eat all of that anyways. Maybe you could also have a cookie for working so hard outside.” 

“But I didn’t do anything, I just watched daddy. And daddy always says we can’t have sweets before dinner and I don’t ever wanna lie to him.” And he would have never wanted to do anything he wasn’t allowed to do.

Uncle Harry didn’t answer immediately, he just looked at Oliver once they had reached the kitchen, still holding his hand, and then he sighed as he smiled at him. “Your daddies really taught you good manners, you know that?”

“No. I don’t know what that means.” He had not understood a word, he just knew he was really hungry. 

“C’mere, let’s see what we have to eat.” He let go of him then, lifting him on the counter before starting to go through the things they had, showing them to Oliver and asking what he wanted. He also got him something to drink and cut him up some fruit because everything else looked like too much food or too much like sweets and Oliver said no to all of them. “Do you wanna take that back outside?”

“I don’t know.” Oliver was already eating, still sitting on the kitchen counter. He kinda didn’t wanna go back outside because it was a little cold and his daddies were busy anyways. 

Uncle Harry seemed to think about that for a moment, he was leaning against the counter next to him, and then he suddenly looked very excited. “Hey, why don’t we go see what Josie is up to, huh? That would be fun. I’m sure she’d want a snack as well, she’s been upstairs for ages.”

Oliver wasn’t so sure about that, but uncle Harry was already cutting up more fruit and maybe it would be fun. Sometimes Josie wanted to be left alone when the girl were running around and yelling, maybe that was why she was in her room and maybe she had brought her cool pens again and they could draw something together.

The house was so big that Oliver was a little bit scared he would never find back to his daddies once they went upstairs, and he had a bit of trouble taking those big steps, holding uncle Harry’s hand AND his cup of fruit, but he did not end up dropping any of it.

“Knock, knock.” Harry wasn’t really knocking when they were standing in front of one of the many doors upstairs because he didn’t have a hand free, but he used his foot. “Josie-bear, it’s your favorite dad.”

There was some noise in the room, and then she opened the door, looking not so happy, but uncle Harry was grinning and Oliver felt shy. “I don’t have favorites. You’re both annoying.” 

“I love you too, honey. Look, me and Olly brought you a delivery.” He tried to give her the cup of fruits, but she only pulled a face. 

“I can’t have those, I’ll get acne.” No idea what that meant, all Oliver knew was that he wanted to eat more of his own fruit but he had no hand free now. 

“You’re 12. You had ONE pimple, that one time, and-“

“Oh my god, can we stop talking about that?! That’s so embarrassing, dad.” Then she walked back into her room and uncle Harry just followed her, pulling Oliver with him.

“It’s normal, love. But fine, just eat whatever you want or leave it. What were you doing in here? You really need to open a window once a while, it stinks.” He put the cup of fruit on her desk then and let go of Oliver’s hand to go and open it himself.

“It’s cold outside, I don’t want it open, I- Can you just leave? I was just texting my friend and-“

“How about you give me your phone for today and play a bit with your cousin? You’ve not even said hello to him yet.” He petted Oliver on the head when he said that and Josie sighed as she sat on her bed, but then she looked at Oliver and smiled a bit. 

“Hi… are you having fun?” She asked him quickly.

“A bit.” Oliver told her, because it was true. He wasn’t really having a lot of fun today with so many people around.

“Great. You two can draw something together with those new pens you got and I’ll call you when dinner is ready.” Uncle Harry decided, and before Josie said anything, he had already taken her phone. “I’ll keep that for now. Niall has no signal so he’s probably gonna need to use your phone to update his Instagram or something.”

“Wait, no- dad, he can’t have it, he- god, that’s SO annoying.” Uncle Harry had already left and Josie did not run after him, she stopped in the doorway and then she sighed, closing the door very loudly and making Olive flinch. “Sorry… do you wanna see my new pens? We can draw a picture or something. Or you can draw one, I really don’t want to right now.”

“Okay… “ Oliver was always a bit shy at first, but once she had gotten out her pens and paper and they were sitting on the floor eating fruit after all, he got over that a little bit.

“You could draw one for Hazel. For her birthday. Did you get her a gift?” Josie asked, her mouth full of food.

“No… me and Daisy helped make the cake. It’s a unicorn.” Oliver explained to her while he was drawing. He really wanted such cool pens as well, but his twin sister always lost them somewhere around the house and in school so their daddies had said no more new pens for a while because she had left a whole box of crayons on the bus on a school trip.

“Which one of your dads made it?” She asked, so Oliver told her, even though he needed to think long and hard about his dad’s name. “I can’t even believe that. When I was as old as you your dad couldn’t bake anything at all. He also couldn’t cook anything, it was really funny.” 

“Why?” Was that even true? Because both his dads always made a lot of food at home.

“I don’t know… I think he never tried. He even lived with us for a little bit, I really liked that… but then he met your other dad and then he moved into this HUGE house. And now everyone at school thinks he’s famous, it’s super weird when they ask me about him. Do you get asked about your dads at school too?” Josie was still talking with her mouth full, was she allowed to do that?

“No… just about my dad’s books. I really like them… they have lots of animals in them and he also gave one of them the same name as me.” He had also done that for his sisters, but Oliver was still very proud of that.

“Right… you’re probably too young for his music. And your friends too. Are you excited when you get to go to the big school in a few years?” Good question…

“I like my school… And my daddy said when I’m in big school I will be there for a lot longer and I don’t want that. I like being at home.” Especially when everyone else was there and they could all just play or watch Disney movies together when his daddies didn’t have to work.

“Trust me, growing up is really not that much fun. I have SO much homework every day, it’s so annoying. Sometimes I also wish I was still five.” And then she told him lots of things Oliver didn’t really understand, like about her bedtime and school and some boy at school and her clothes and just big kid stuff.

In the end, Oliver let her put tiny braids in his hair and then let her take them out again and do something else, all while she was talking about things he didn’t really understand. He still liked hanging out with her though because she always paid attention.

So when they were called down for dinner and Josie held his hand on the stairs and on the way to the kitchen, Oliver felt a lot better than before when he climbed on the chair next to one of his daddies.

“Did you have fun, love?” He asked, stroking his head and Oliver nodded.

“Did you build the tent, daddy?” It was already dark outside now and everyone was in here sitting somewhere and talking, so it was really loud. Especially because Daisy was chasing James through the room and laughing hysterically. 

“We did. You can look at it in the morning, okay? It’s too dark now. But you can still sleep in it if you want to.” He told Oliver while filling his plate for him, but the boy quickly shook his head because NO WAY and his dad just laughed, kissing his forehead.

They also had more cake after dinner and Oliver decided that the trip was a lot of fun after all.

\--------------------

“Goodnight, girls. I love you. Uncle Louis is in the tent next to you if you need anything. Be good, okay? Don’t stay up too long, it’s already late.” Not that Niall could really control that when he said goodnight to his daughters and Clara, but they all promised to not talk for too long anymore, so Niall simply decided to believe them.

He also went to say goodnight to Louis, who had volunteered to stay out here with the kids, but they had to whisper because James was already asleep next to him. He still heard the girls giggling as he went back inside the house, leaving his shoes outside, but that was Louis’ problem now.

Zayn and his girlfriend had already left after dinner, Josie had gone back upstairs to her room after telling Niall that his Instagram feed had no aesthetic and he had been so surprised by her choice of words that he had had no idea what to say except “okay, thanks for that tip”. Liam had taken Oliver to bed a while ago after he had fallen asleep in his lap again, and Niall found him sitting in the living room of the house with Harry.

“Finally. Quiet.” Niall told them upon walking in, going straight up to where Liam was, his arms half opened as Niall set sideways on his lap, kissing his cheek. They hadn’t had a lot of each other today, just brief moments, and it hadn’t felt like enough. It never did. “Did Oliver stay asleep?”

“Yeah, he woke up for a moment, but then he was passed out again a second later. He’ll be fine, he was really tired, and he knows where our room is.” Liam promised, rubbing Niall’s back. “And the girls?”

“They said they’d only talk for a little bit longer, but… who even knows anymore. They don’t have to get up early anyways. And Louis is right next to them, he’d hear them.” Which… didn’t say a lot.

“Louis can sleep through anything though.” Harry threw in, but then he shrugged as well as he had to yawn. “A lot more stressful than we thought, huh? I’m just glad our kids all get along, imagine if they didn’t… “

“I’m not sure if Hazel and Clara wanted Daisy in their tent, but… she’s in there now, so… “ Niall hadn’t gotten involved with that, they only had those two tents after all.

“They’d never dare tell her no. She always gets what she wants.” Harry laughed at that, and Niall had to agree with him. She knew what she wanted, and then she went and got it. “James told me before that she made him make her three flower crowns out of daisies because she didn’t like the first two and I asked him if he wanted to even do that, and he said he didn’t know.”

“We’ll have to talk to her about a few things anyways, I’ll mention that as well… her teachers also said she’s VERY bossy with her classmates in school.” Liam seemed concerned, and sometimes Niall was as well, but Harry didn’t at all seem to see a problem. “I always wonder if it’s because I took her to work so often and Niall to the studio and she’s just been exposed to so many things, she’s only 5. And we definitely got less strict over the years as well… “

“Look, you have 3 kids, all completely different personalities, just like me and Louis. It’s not our parenting skills or lacking of parenting skills. They’re all sweet kids, we’re just trying our best, right?” Harry let out another yawn then before moving to get up. “I got a really cute picture of Josie with Oliver when they were playing after dinner, remind me to send it to you to tomorrow or something, I’m going to bed. Night, guys.”

“Night, Haz.” They both watched him go and then Niall turned his head to look at Liam, his arms around the older man’s neck, Liam’s around his waist holding him close. 

“What’re we gonna do now?” Niall asked his husband after kissing him, lingering for a lot longer than he had been able to all day. “With one child hopefully asleep for another few hours and Louis watching the other two. I’m almost not used to all this freedom.”

“We can do whatever we want, but I suggest we go to bed first.” Liam tried to wink at him, but then he failed quite terribly and Niall just laughed at him, kissing his temple. 

“I’ll fall asleep the moment I’ll lie down though. And I kinda wanna stay up a bit longer because I missed you today.” Just like every day when they barely had time for each other.

“I was here all day… “ The older man told him, his voice having gotten a lot more quiet, gentler, and Niall smiled, letting his forehead fall against Liam’s, rubbing their noses together for a moment.

“I know… but I miss being close to you whenever we have so much going on and barely any time for us… I can’t even remember what it was like when it was just you and me every day…” It felt like heaven to Niall sometimes, but he also would have never given up any of his kids of course. “That was all so long ago, like… 6 or 7 years…”

“It still kinda feels like it was just yesterday though… you’ve not aged a day either.” Liam told him, and it was probably a joke so Niall huffed a bit. “It’s true, babe.”

“You’re talking as if I’m so old, I’m only 31, Liam.” It had been quite scary, turning 30, but Niall had gotten over it very quickly. “We’re pretty young.”

“I’m closer to 40 than 30.” Liam reminded him, which was true, but Niall simply shrugged. Liam still looked the same to him as well. “In 7 more years, all of our kids will almost be teenagers.”

“I can’t wait.” The older man joked and Niall grinned, kissing him again before forcing his face to go all serious as he pulled back. 

“… although, maybe not all of our kids…” And then they looked at each other, and Liam’s eyes went huge, and Niall was SO close to laughing, but he kept it together for one more second before he let it out. “I’m joking, oh my god. You should’ve seen your face, complete terror.”

“It’s not funny, Ni. You know I would have been happy, just… “ They didn’t need another child, not now at least, they had their hands completely full. “Maybe in a year… or two or three… “

“Don’t worry, I’m not ready yet either. And hey, it seems we’ve learned how to use protection after the twins as well. Maybe we should talk about that dog first.” No idea if they’d ever really get one.

“We can.” Liam agreed, nodding, having visibly calmed down from his shock now as he brushed his fingers over Niall’s cheek, his smile a bit cheeky. “We could also talk about what me and you could be doing now that we have some time to ourselves… “

“You’re so predictable, Li.” Niall pretended to be annoyed, but he grinned before he leaned back down to kiss his husband again, deeper this time.

“You love it though… “ Liam mumbled against his lips, and Niall smiled into another kiss after.

“I love YOU.” He told Liam, because he did, and he would have never been able to put it into words. 

“I love you too, Nialler… so much. Always.” His voice was very serious when he said it and they looked each other in the eyes for a moment, Liam’s all fond and gentle and god, Niall could have gotten lost in them right before he decided he absolutely needed another kiss or he’d go crazy.

They did end up going to the bedroom, and Niall definitely did not sleep within the next hour or more, because tomorrow morning, they’d be back at their second full time jobs as parents. Tonight though, they were just Niall and Liam, just like they had been when they had first met, and Niall knew that they would be that even in 50 years time or more, when their kids would long be living their own lives and their jobs would not matter anymore.

He could have not asked for a better life partner, or a better life in general, and even if it had been hard at times to get to this place, it had all been so worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys :)
> 
> i cannot believe it! 32 weeks have passed since i started this fic... or 33 for me. when i started this fic, the corona virus wasnt even really a big deal in my country, and then all this craziness went down and those past few months felt like a lifetime, and this fic feels like ive been writing it for years, not months haha. its been so long, i kinda wanna re-read it myself because i forgot so many parts! anyways, i am relieved it is over, but also a little bit sad. im very grateful so many of you stuck around and commented so many times, left kudos and just enjoyed reading it, thank you very much for all of that. writing fics or writing in general is a huge part of my life, especially when i cannot deal with shit properly or have a lot of stuff going on, it helps me escape for a little bit and its like living someone elses life for a while.
> 
> a lot has happened the past few months, im in my last year at university since today, and ive written this last chapter on my new laptop after finally replacing the old one where ive written 95% of all my other fics on, which is a super crazy thought haha! i hope you guys are doing well, staying safe and that you enjoyed this epilogue. i will definitly be back very soon with a new fic or oneshot, id be happy if you decided to check it out :) thank you for all your support!!! <3
> 
> as always, suggestions/wishes/recommendations for new fics are always welcome! have a great week, talk to you soon!


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